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All The Worst Humans: How I Made News for Dictators, Tycoons and Politicians

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'I raced through this book and was gripped by every page.'' - Sophie Heawood
'Exciting and full of bluster... A rowdy, dirty-pleasure story.' - Kirkus
'Hilarious and harrowing, and hard to put down. Indeed, I didn't put it down.' - Christopher Buckley, author of Thank You for Smoking
'A redemption story about becoming a better human, a story Elwood tells with vulnerability, heart, and brutal honesty.' - James Kirchick, New York Times bestselling author of Secret The Hidden History of Gay Washington


'An exhilarating ride through the underbelly of global power structures.'
- Ben Smith, author of Traffic and editor in chief of Semafor
A bridge-burning, riotous memoir by a top PR operative in Washington who exposes the secrets of the $129-billion industry that controls so much of what we see and hear in the media - from a man who used to pull the strings, and who is now pulling back the curtain.

After nearly two decades in the Washington PR business, Elwood wants to come clean, by exposing the dark underbelly of the very industry that's made him so successful. The first step is revealing exactly what he's been up to for the past twenty years - and it isn't pretty.

Elwood has worked for a murderer's row of clients, including Gaddafi, Assad, and the government of Qatar -namely, the bad guys. In All the Worst Humans, Elwood unveils how the PR business works, and how the truth gets made, spun, and sold to the public - not shying away from the gritty details of his unlikely career.

This is a piercing look into the corridors of money, power, politics, and control, all told in Elwood's disarmingly funny and entertaining voice. He recounts a four-day Las Vegas bacchanal with a dictator's son, plotting communications strategies against a terrorist organization in Western Africa, and helping to land a Middle Eastern dictator's wife a glowing profile in Vogue on the same time the Arab Spring broke out. And he reveals all his slippery tricks for seducing journalists in order to create chaos and ultimately cover for politicians, dictators, and spies - the industry-secret tactics that led to his rise as a political PR pro.

Along the way, Phil walks the halls of the Capitol, rides in armored cars through Abuja, and watches his client lose his annual income at the roulette table. But as he moved up the ranks, he felt worse and worse about the sleaziness of it all -until Elwood receives a shocking wake-up call from the FBI. This risky game nearly cost Elwood his life and his freedom. Seeing the light, Elwood decides to change his ways, and his clients, and to tell the full truth about who is the worst human.

273 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 25, 2024

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Phil Elwood

3 books27 followers

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5 stars
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 497 reviews
Profile Image for Ula Tardigrade.
353 reviews34 followers
February 23, 2024
I had many conflicting feelings when I read this book. First there was horror and disbelief as Phil Elwood told story after story of working with the eponymous "worst humans" (not an exaggeration, think: Muammar Gaddafi), but also an unhealthy fascination - people employed by dictators and foreign governments don't often share such details with the wider public. Then there was compassion, as I read about the impact this crazy job had on the author, leaving him with PTSD and severe depression. Towards the end I even began to cheer for him - but then I suddenly realised that I was reading the words of a man who is a master of manipulation, so I began to question how sincere his remorse was.

In the age of disinformation, it is certainly a timely and eye-opening read. And it is very well written - even the parts where you despise your narrator are maddeningly engaging.

Thanks to the publisher, Henry Holt and Co., and NetGalley for an advanced copy of this book.
Profile Image for Carol.
341 reviews1,217 followers
November 22, 2024
Likely a 3.75 - 4 star read for many readers. But I found Elwood's memoir compelling even before it took a bonus turn toward his mood disorder, near-suicide, ineffective and effective treatment, use of ketamine (which no doubt took a major step backward as a treatment option with Matthew Perry's death), and happy ending, as well, in terms of his relationship with his wife. The politics, the explanations of how the PR industry works (or worked a decade ago when we had a greater percentage of actual journalists and not as many news influencers), the attraction of crisis-oriented jobs where you get to be the white knight. The intersection of mood disorders, substance use, undiagnosed ADHD and more all laid out with the right amount of context and no more. I recommend the audiobook.
Profile Image for David.
764 reviews185 followers
November 27, 2024
Before reading this book, I was unaware that its 'spine' is comprised of an element I already knew something about - from reading 'An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness', by a doctor (Kay Redfield Jamison) who, while being accomplished and respected n her work, nevertheless battled manic depression (the term apparently preferred to 'bipolar'). .

But there's a difference here. Whereas, overall, Dr. Jamison was more or less a problem unto herself, the author of 'All the Worst Humans' (Phil Elwood) seems to have had (for too long) no clue about his personal reality... and he became something of an international problem, which led to a rude awakening with the FBI.

The fact that he was not onto himself allowed him to 'prosper' as a PR 'operative': bouncing between acting with a good conscience - and acting not at all admirably, as a chaos agent.

Early on, Elwood gives us the rough outline of his professional milieu:
PR firms employ two types of people: bureaucrats and operatives. Bureaucrats are the accountants. The conference call leaders. The digital paper pushers. Operatives infect newsrooms. Call reporters. Do whatever it takes to get ink.
Operatives, Elwood tells us, are 'invisible' players who vie for secret information that's hot enough to become a news story after being passed on to journalists. That info can sometimes be true (and a branch of pure motives) but it doesn't necessarily have to be; it can certainly be false (and a calculated spin) - but that doesn't always matter. Operatives can engage in both shedding light and in fabrication for the sake of appearance.   

What the average American is unlikely to know is the way that American operatives can help shape a public opinion that follows misinformation:
Foreign governments hire American PR firms because they've seen how skillfully we protect American politicians and corporations. 

Operators like me oil the machines that prop up authoritarian power all over the world. I help those machines function by laundering the sins of dictators through the press. I attack their enemies. Provide backdoor access to Washington.
That's where Elwood's undiagnosed (for too long) illness enters the picture. The recklessness of his manic behavior blinds him to the easy transitioning to (putting it mildly) territory written about by the likes of Kafka or a politically-oriented Hunter S. Thompson. 

Ultimately Elwood lands himself in serious kaka (esp. with the Mueller investigation), leading to a kind-of 'come-to-Jesus' moment akin to the one experienced by Michael Cohen prior to his imprisonment. 

Not all that surprisingly, Elwood's trajectory also crossed over to T---p's ambition:
As an anonymous source, I filled in BuzzFeed's team on the golf games I helped set up in Florida for the Libyan ambassador, and on how Trump tried to gain access to Libya's sovereign wealth fund.
(When Elwood first meets T---p, it's whispered to him that he should not shake hands, since T---p is a "germaphobe". To me, it's always been a fascinating giving-away-the-game reveal that The Giant Germ itself is afraid of germs - or he simply hates himself as much as he hates people.)

But let me go back to the idea of 'chaos agents' - which is what I mainly took away from this book. I was reminded anew that guys like Elwood are hardly rare in Washington DC. Elwood's eventual caregiving physician confirms that:
... many of [his] patients have high-level security clearances. They work on the Hill and at the Pentagon. Dr. Oliver has a hypothesis that high-stress jobs burn out neural pathways at an alarming rate, and though this hypothesis hasn't been scientifically proven it certainly mirrors my experience.
'All the Worst Humans' is a testament to DC's (basic) defining reality: it attracts those who sincerely desire to make a positive difference - and it's equally a magnet for those who (diagnosed or not) live only to bulldoze through with the biggest, ugliest mess they can make.
Profile Image for CatReader.
1,030 reviews177 followers
July 14, 2024
This memoir would fit right in with being a case study in Tavris and Aronson's Mistakes Were Made, but Not by Me: Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts. Elwood has made a living enabling and facilitating horrible actions by horrible people, yet he paints himself as not a villain or a bad actor in his own right (which he is), just a poor guy trying to get out of debt and struggling to make a living in an industry where he's rightfully alienated so many.

My statistics:
Book 150 for 2024
Book 1753 cumulatively
Profile Image for Gabbi Levy.
300 reviews14 followers
June 23, 2024
The first time Phil Elwood told me a story about babysitting Gaddafi’s son in Las Vegas, I thought, “There’s no way this guy is for real.” It turns out, Phil is the real deal - and All the Worst Humans has the receipts, for the Vegas bender and so much more.

The breezy tone of the opening chapters is a trap: Phil has worked for some of the most evil people alive the past few decades, burnishing their images and helping them do their dastardly deeds to the world’s applause (or at least, fewer sanctions). He’s wielded influence and connections to shape reputations and change the course of history. He openly admits to taking advantage of reporters to “win” words for his clients. Having been both a journalist and a public relations pro (although of a very different sort than Phil’s), I found much of this book deeply unsettling. I suspect that’s exactly the reaction he’s going for. People’s dim view of reporters (their motives, their intelligence) and the media (just there to do the bidding of the rich and powerful) certainly isn’t helped by hearing how a guy like Phil uses reporters to get a favorable outcomes for people who have the means to pay lots for it.

Like Darth Vader the cat, Phil bites the hand that feeds him: All the Worst Humans peels back the curtain on his many shady clients, his former firms, the journalists who allowed Phil to use their bylines to launder his clients’ reputations. PR dark arts has real consequences. It’s to Phil’s credit that he unflinchingly acknowledges the harms his work facilitated, and his remorse over his role. He names names. (The reporters actually come out looking alright.)

As much as this is about the wild stories of Phil’s career, this is also a deeply intimate look at his personal demons, some that come from that wild history, some that are simply part of his brain chemistry. There is no vice Phil hasn’t experimented with and procured for clients. He explores the opioid crisis through the lens of his own near-miss with being overprescribed Oxy post-surgery, and through Perdue Pharma’s marketing of “legal heroin” by employing McKinsey. And includes a frank discussion of his own battles with bipolar II and PTSD, and works his reputational magic on ketamine as a life-saving treatment for depression.

As a full disclosure, I’m not exactly an unbiased reviewer here: I’m friendly with Phil and his wife, Lindsay, whom I previously worked with and who features prominently through these pages (I’ve also pet Darth Vader the cat and seen the subpoena from the Mueller investigation that hangs on the bathroom wall in Phil and Lindsay’s apartment). But while I may have picked up a galley of this book because of that personal connection, that’s not what kept me reading. This is not your typical This Town tell-all. It’s a wild ride, laugh-out-loud funny, and a punch to the gut, and well worth your time.

CW: This memoir discusses all manner of real, evil people and events. It also includes an on-the-page, graphic descriptions of suicidal ideation, drug and alcohol use, and untreated mental illness.

Thanks to NetGalley and Henry Holt and Co for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Profile Image for S M.
68 reviews
November 1, 2024
The only thing I gained from this book: when shifting PR in someone’s favor, the trick is to turn the villain into a victim- and that’s exactly what Elwood attempts to do for himself in this book. With his own admission of how loosely he handles truth I hardly expect an accurate portrayal of his career and experiences, and as if that weren’t bad enough for a memoir he’s written it in the most insufferable voice of someone entirely too desperate to believe in their own allure. I cannot overstate how badly I wish I hadn’t bothered with this book.
Profile Image for Janalyn, the blind reviewer.
4,607 reviews140 followers
June 14, 2024
All The Worst Humans by Phil Elwood is a book about Mr. Elwoods rise as a publicist and spin doctor for some of the worst people on the planet. While reading this book like a lot of other reviewer‘s I almost got caught up in feeling sorry for the author but then I reminded myself how one of his first jobs was trying to get people to skew their own professional opinion. He wanted academic professionals to claim tuna wasn’t as harmful to embryos and fetuses as it was, so pregnant woman would eat more tuna. He lied and attached hisself to One of Michelle Obama‘s legitimate campaigns to get leverage on a corrupt country getting the world soccer tournament he got the Syrian leaders wife into vogue just days before it went public that he killed his own people and on and on the stories do not stop the only reason he’s even feigning remorse is because he got caught. He would even have no problem with people talking bad about America he didn’t care what side he was on as long as they were paying him. I know this review it so I can say whether I think other people would find it enjoyable and the answer is yes. It is well written and tells a great story and although throughout it sounds more like he’s boasting as a pose to being shamefaced and like OMG I can’t believe I did that. The book really shows how the world works I mean when a college dropout can become an intern for a major senator when hard-working students probably applied for the same job that his friend just gave him it really says nothing good about America. The book is interesting however and I do recommend it for many reasons. I do want to say I have no respect for this man whatsoever I’m glad he’s nice to Darth Vader, his cat but don’t like him at all and can’t believe he has a girlfriend shame on her. I want to thank Henry Holt and Company for my free Arc copy via NetGalley please forgive any mistakes as I am blind and dictate my review.
407 reviews3 followers
August 11, 2024
Very interesting and quite a well-written book.
Though, to be fair, if anyone should be able to write an engaging book it's a high level PR professional.
Profile Image for Alison.
774 reviews13 followers
November 4, 2024
Talk about selling your soul to the devil. We all know it happens, but I'd never read/heard such a clear account of how the sausage is made when it comes to PR for terrible companies, causes and countries. Having spent the last 25 years in DC, living blocks from the author and overlapping in many of the same venues (Commissary, The Watergate, PJ Clarkes, Logan Tavern, WeWork, etc.) this book made me realize how naive I was, tripping along through life without realizing someone a few tables over was possibly meeting with an arms dealer or handing off a package to an Israeli spy. (Side note: I thought it was funny that he specifically referenced Kay Bailey Hutchinson's briefcase boys – one was my roommate in a group house on the Hill in the late 1990s!) Even without personal knowledge of DC, I think most people would find this a riveting (though depressing) read. You're not going to come away from this liking the author – in fact, you might find him absolutely deplorable – which is a bit of a head-scratcher since he's literally in the business of reputation management. The fact that he's thrown himself under the bus so publicly left me with the sense that this was part of a long-game, and – as his reader – I'm just the latest person to be manipulated by him.

TW: suicide, alcohol abuse, mental illness, moral corruption.
Profile Image for Sara Glotzbach.
154 reviews3 followers
July 30, 2024
Heard Phil on Armchair Expert and knew I had to listen to his book! Great book with great juicy details!
922 reviews20 followers
August 18, 2024
This book is fascinating and abhorrent at the same time.
Profile Image for britt_brooke.
1,646 reviews131 followers
December 21, 2024
A truth-is-stranger-than-fiction absolute romp through Elwood’s years in public relations. When creating clever spins, slightly untrue, and blatantly false narratives is your job, and your clients are people like freaking Gadaffi, you have some stories. A very engaging read!
Profile Image for Sera.
1,314 reviews105 followers
October 14, 2024
An informative read of how foreign governments and "bad" guys hire US consulting firms to manipulate the US media in their favor. Elwood outline the tricks of this lucrative trade that might have been compelling if it wasn't so disturbing.

If you are already feeling angst with all the disinformation out there, I would skip this one. It will only make you feel worse.
Profile Image for Emilia K.
137 reviews1 follower
April 24, 2025
"It could be the Israelis. Or Muammar Gaddafi. Or Bashar al-Assad. Or the Iranians. Or because of what I pulled in Antigua. Or many more things.”

“nothing is free, not even for a nonprofit”

“you can’t just do a good job, you also have to appear to do a good job”
2 reviews3 followers
August 10, 2024
A truly incredible and well written story. It took me a while to read it, because I am not always in a non-fiction mood, but it reads like all the best espionage thrillers. The best part is hearing the pulse-pounding story through the words of a normal guy. I am awed and a little afraid of the men behind the curtains.

Thank you to Henry Holt and Co., Phil Elwood, and Goodreads for an advanced copy of this book!
Profile Image for Jamie.
712 reviews3 followers
August 5, 2024
Elwood is a fixer or "arsonist" for PR firms. In this book, he says "But there is no rest for those who help the wicked," which I say bro, you are wicked. I don't know why this book was written it felt like a money grab to drop names of awful people...of who Elwood worked for or represented.
Profile Image for Dipra Lahiri.
800 reviews52 followers
July 17, 2024
Eye opening account into the devious machinations shaping public opinion around very significant events. Elwood is a natural raconteur, deadpan humour even in the darkest of times.
78 reviews
August 19, 2024
The author manipulates the truth and assists some of the worst humans on the planet and then wants us to feel sorry for him. I don’t believe a word of what he writes.
Profile Image for Mary Beattie Kloefkorn.
50 reviews
August 27, 2024
I had a hard time believing that after all the bragging about the terrible people he’s worked for, now he says he’s depressed and we should feel sorry for him? Pass.
315 reviews
November 3, 2025
I think the writer should have enlisted more help from people who write for a living when he was drafting and editing this book. You can tell that a lot of the stories have been selectively edited by the writer to present himself in a certain light. I guess you can take the guy out of PR….
His bragging quickly becomes grating, it sometimes felt like reading a book by Kendall Roy, and he doesn’t give himself a proper redemption arc, I think you’re supposed to think he’s come good because his wife thought he was worth saving from suicide and he did a bit of PR to promote the work of his doctors clinic? Not sure that really makes up for all the items which no doubt have been skimmed over lightly or just completely left out of the story. Not sure what the point of it all is apart from a more in depth look into the mechanics of power and influence - but Ben Elton has done a fictional satire which covers most of the same territory in a much more amusing way. I ended up just feeling really sorry for journalists after reading this, and that’s not a group of people I ever expected to feel empathy for!
Profile Image for Baldur Sverrisson.
2 reviews
April 9, 2025
I really didn't want to give this book 5 stars (more like 4.8). because then I feel like I've been tricked by yet another PR stunt.
This book is truly one of the best I've ever read, I could hardly put it down. Yes the stories are all interesting or perhaps morbid is a better term, but it's the narrative style that makes this book so hard to put down. I ended up liking the bad guy, another PR victory
Profile Image for Rik Helton.
46 reviews
April 16, 2025
You will never trust ANY media after you peer behind the curtain.
Profile Image for Emily Nagle.
92 reviews1 follower
February 2, 2025
Don’t read this if you want to have any faith in humanity and how the world runs. Admire his ability to storytell about his life while also revealing important truths about the way the media is run.
Profile Image for Jonathan Zheng.
43 reviews
January 15, 2025
turns out that the world really is run by shadow entities: not governments, but PR firms!

I really enjoyed this book and learned (with a grain of salt) a lot about how public opinion is manipulated behind-the-scenes.

there’s this interesting meta-aspect: the author himself is an unreliable narrator, considering his lifelong career in spinning and manipulating narratives. More apparent near the end when he talks about his mental health struggles. But the substantive facts appear to be largely true, as you can Google the articles he references and they’re all real things.
91 reviews1 follower
August 12, 2024
Interesting and scary. The role of PR operative is more than I thought it was. They work closely with journalist to sway the public view for their lively hood. It can be for the good or not. When they are hired by bad people with a lot of money, it gets dicey.
Profile Image for NewNobodyAccount.
59 reviews4 followers
July 30, 2024
Memoir scoring system: all memoirs receive a 4.0 minimum regardless of how much i dislike the person, writing, etc. from there, it’s about scoring in increments of tenths.

I score this book a 4.7, which rounds to a 5. I found 30% of the book exhausting to the point I skimmed, but the remaining 70% was good.

Starts off fast and fascinating. About halfway through, you’re going through so many adventures that it blurs. This is clearly a reflection of Phil’s brain, as well, but for a reader it leads to disinterest and skimming. That’s exactly what happened… until I reached the part of the book where it picks back up where the book started: the FBI at the door. You spend a bit of time getting back into it and then it feels like a rambling blog a little bit, with some interesting peaks until it ends.

Overall, this book is informative and you’ll learn a great deal about some of the largest scandals in the world. The Qatar sportswashing was particularly interesting if you ask me.

The book not only introduces perspective from the villain but also the villain teaches you his job, which even includes a lesson on: villains (and turning them into victims, which he does with himself brilliantly). The author did a wonderful job, I am glad that he was open and honest about mental health, and I also found the author’s guilt and addiction to his job endearing and relatable.
22 reviews
August 12, 2024
A well written and candid peek behind the curtain of the PR world and how/why news is made
Profile Image for Jason.
Author 23 books78 followers
November 27, 2024
I'm inherently skeptical of memoir. Particularly of this kind of memoir in which the writer purports to confess his prior misdeeds, in this case, working as a public relations fixer for horrible autocrats and shady corporations. I had the same sensation when I read Ryan Holiday's 2012 book Trust Me, I'm Lying: Confessions of a Media Manipulator about the author's work as a media strategist for clients as awful as Tucker Max and American Apparel. In general, I struggle to believe the author's redemption or at least to believe that said redemption is the point of the memoir. Instead, it feels like authors like Holiday or Phil Elwood in his book All the Worst Humans really just want to relive their ultra-cool glory days as edgy, out-of-control disruptors of contemporary social norms. Addiction memoirs work the same way for me and ring similarly inauthentic.

That's not to say that All the Worst Humans is a bad book. I actually enjoyed reading about many of Elwood's jetsetting adventures to far-flung parts of the world to aid assorted nefarious heads of state and obscenely wealthy plutocrats in furthering their causes. The book does open a window to what really goes on behind the scenes in what journalists and media sources choose to cover and who their unnamed sources generally are: PR hacks. In this way, Elwood provides a valuable service to readers. Even so, it's hard not to read this as yet another self-congratulatory memoir of rock-star-like excess under the guise of attrition and recovery. In light of Elwood's behavior throughout the book, it's hard not to read All the Worst Humans itself as an act of public relations, perhaps burning the industry down for strategic, self-serving purposes. Like I said, I'm skeptical.
Profile Image for Amy Simons.
89 reviews
August 3, 2024
I’m trying to teach my journalism students that we need PR people and PR people… that those in PR haven’t gone to “the dark side.” This memoir isn’t going to do much to help my case………
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