How to Solve Your People Problems: Dealing with Your Difficult Relationships

by Alan Godwin

Practical Help for Relationships! No matter how much you're attracted to someone's positives, you'll eventually encounter their negatives when you get in close. In fact, the closer the connection, the more likely it is that friction will occur. But all conflict is not created equal. Drawing on years of counseling experience, Dr. Alan Godwin has put together an easy-to-understand look at "good" and "bad" conflict. Offering concise definitions, clear illustrations, and specific options for dealing with conflict, Dr. Godwin helps you . . . •effectively deal with conflict in various relational situations •learn the different methods needed for handling unreasonable people •establish good communication and healthy boundaries •counter old conflict patterns when they return and get back on track Make your good relationships better and handle your difficult relationships more capably by implementing the principles and steps in this book. A wonderful resource for those who desire better communication, assist others in handling conflict, and want better ways to handle difficult people

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Relationships, Psychology

242 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 1, 2008

Reviews

[Robert Merrill · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book filled the gap for me between Crucial Conversations and Boundaries (Cloud and Townsend). Godwin taught me how to recognize the difference between what he calls an Unreasonable Person, and a Reasonable Person who is in a heightened emotional state because of the subject. His descriptions of the four types of Drama--Master, Messiah, Martyr, and Mute--is simple enough to remember, yet seems to cover the whole space of unreasonableness.

The right assessment is very important, because it seems that the way to relate well with an upset but reasonable person is very different from the way to relate well with an unreasonable one. Skillful and continued dialogue helps with the former, and just seems to fuel the drama with the latter. Godwin gave me a framework to cover it all, while most negotiation and conflict books seem to assume one or the other.

[Shannon · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book includes basics about dealing with people, so for me I didn't learn much that was new. However, I liked how the author packaged the parts about reasonable people having certain muscles and how unreasonable people do not have those. For people who are in dramatic, toxic relationships, I often suggest they read The Dance of Anger. I would now say this book also helps by framing some of the same logic in a different way. It also has some good advice for married couples on making sure your arguments are productive.

[Kelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was well written and an easy read but I think it was a bit over generalizing. I think everyone can be reasonable and unreasonable at different times. I read this book to help cope with my level 2 spouse but found myself being a level 1 sometimes myself and couldn’t imagine anyone not being a level 1 at least at times. Interesting, but not as eye opening as I expected.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insightful and practical

Looking for help in your most frustrating relationships? This book is loaded with wisdom and takeaways that will truly make a difference in your peace level. The principles are biblically based and backed up by years of research. Excellent advice for those who are seeking help in difficult situations with all types of people.

[Edward Quan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing read and quantified and expanded on personal experience

Well worth reading for anyone dealing with challenging individuals - I'm pretty certain you'll learn something new on how to deal with them.

[Laurel Kehl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Differentiating between reasonable and unreasonable people was extremely helpful in thinking about conflict resolution. Very practical with loads of examples to make the points. Highly recommend this book to anyone who has difficult people in their lives.

[Alan Yu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book on conflict. As a chronic people pleaser, I am terrible with conflict so it was super helpful for me to read. Also allowed me to figure out how to deal with difficult relationships and see things from a different perspective.

[Traci Bowermaster · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was recommended to me by a counselor and I found it incredibly practical and helpful for dealing with some thorny conflict issues which have baffled me for years.

[Ashley Biggers · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this to be essential reading for anyone. It provides practical tips on navigating (inevitable) conflicts with a variety of people.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Counselor also recommended me this. I found I have already used some of these tools and I learned a few more

[Teresa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great advice on dealing with one sided difficult people.

[Debbie Turner · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book useful in dealing with certain people. Very practical advice. Hard for me to get through....being difficult, I guess. Anyway....it is a helpful book.

[James P · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great insights, very practical. Convicting:..

[Alecia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Refreshing to have confirmed that there are people who simply cannot be reasoned with! For unreasonable people, who may be at various levels of unreasonableness, there are practical strategies to limit damage they can do. Interesting and logical approach. I feel relieved somehow knowing this.

[Peter King · Rating 5 out of 5]

Extremely worth the read! Will help anyone and everyone with simple conflict but most of all, it will help you deal with unreasonable people and their drama.

[Alejandro · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book! Great content!
Loved it! I highly recomend it!

[Jenn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clear, concise and easy to read. A great guide to dealing with all conflict, but especially with the unreasonable.