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Ambivalence: Ambivalence Book One of the Ambivalence Quartet Soft Cover
Laurel
My one true desire is this; to be adored. Blessedly, I had always known love.Middle class existence, an All-American family, and a brother to share my days with.My twin.Yin and yang.All we were missing was that white picket fence, but I easily settled for the wood line in its stead.Sheer perfection, so quickly torn away.I'm nothing more than a craving now, ameans to an end.He loves me, craves me even.He would do anything for me.Risk it all just to have me.Take what he must, unwilling to pay the price.He wants to possess me.I want love above all else.No matter the cost, I'll pay it.Grin and bear it.Even if it ends in bloodshed.
Mikey
All I ever wished for was love.Be careful what you wish for.Keep the other two.The shroud of perfection is slipping.The white picket fence was never there.I want love more than above all else.No matter the price, I'll pay it.Grin and bear it.Even if it ends in bloodshed..
The Ambivalence Quartet
Ambivalence is part of a four-book series that journeys through Laurel Wyatt and her twin brothers lives, from childhood through womanhood, exploring the long-term effects of trauma.
Ambivalence, the first installment follows Laurels struggles through her teen years as she tries to cope with the abuse thrust onto her, while struggling to be a "good girl." Lost in secrecy, dedication and obedience, she quickly loses herself, spiraling headfirst into a world of lies, silence, and ultimate violence.
Book two, titled Duplicity focuses on the aftermath of the savage events that close out Ambivalence.
The Tough Girl, and the Party Girl, respectively, evolve to protect an already shattered soul.
Book three, titled Resolve, dives into Laurels struggle to find her strength and grow from the unspeakable trauma she suffered at the hands of men.
She struggles with identity, seeking womanhood at the hands of those who damaged her and what that entitles.
Book four, titled Aftermath focuses primarily on Laurels sister, Ava and her struggles in navigating life following savage loss. Ava hunts for love, acceptance, and a place to call home.
Meanwhile her male counterpart Max seeks love.
Wild, uncaged, requited love.
Taking it if he must.
The Ambivalence Quartet
Ambivalence is part of a four-book series that journeys through Laurel Wyatt and her twin brothers lives, from childhood through womanhood, exploring the long-term effects of trauma.
Ambivalence, the first installment follows Laurels struggles through her teen years as she tries to cope with the abuse thrust onto her, while struggling to be a "good girl." Lost in secrecy, dedication and obedience, she quickly loses herself, spiraling headfirst into a world of lies, silence, and ultimate violence.
Book two, titled Duplicity focuses on the aftermath of the savage events that close out Ambivalence.
The Tough Girl, and the Party Girl, respectively, evolve to protect an already shattered soul.
Book three, titled Resolve, dives into Laurels struggle to find her strength and grow from the unspeakable trauma she suffered at the hands of men.
She struggles with identity, seeking womanhood at the hands of those who damaged her and what that entitles.
Book four, titled Aftermath focuses primarily on Laurels sister, Ava and her struggles in navigating life following savage loss. Ava hunts for love, acceptance, and a place to call home.
Meanwhile her male counterpart Max seeks love.
Wild, uncaged, requited love.
Taking it if he must.
577 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 16, 2024
9 people are currently reading
48 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
February 13, 2024
I have to admit that I DNF this book, but hear me out on why. The book is presented from the direct perspective of two twins living in a trauma based relationship home. The formatting was a little different for me to read, as it was written as internal thought like a journal, but it was easy enough to follow along with. The author did a great job detailing the feelings that each character was having during the different situations they were placed in and it allowed for you to feel like you were there during their struggle. Honestly, I have never struggled with trigger warnings before, but this one is HEAVY. So take the warning seriously and proceed with caution. In the end, the storyline was too much for me and I had to set it down. It's a long book and I could feel that I wasn't as invested at is it probably deserved.
August 31, 2024
Check 👏 your 👏 triggers👏
This is not a comfy romance, I don't know if I would classify this as a "dark romance", is it dark? Absolutely, but there is no falling in love or HEA. This is strictly following 2 twins on a journey through trauma.
We meet Laurel, and she gets it the worst, being a pawn in her father's sick game. Yes. It goes into detail, enough so that it had me closing the book and side eyeing it 👀.
We meet Mikey, who sees what is happening and becomes a ghost in the background, a boy who will do anything to grab the attention of his father, but in all the wrong ways. Un-loved and pushed away.
There was so much manipulation and conditioning and almost "Stockholm syndrome" vibes in this book. It was a whirlwind of emotions from both kids. One forced into silence, one forced to take action.
The writing was good, it's wasn't horrible it wasn't great. I did catch myself getting confused or lost a few times.
All in all, it's a decent book, but just not my cup of tea. I can handle the mention of SA on a minor, but not every chapter. It's too heavy, although I understand that maybe the point of the book, so we can understand the trauma. But there is a point where it is too much.
This is not a comfy romance, I don't know if I would classify this as a "dark romance", is it dark? Absolutely, but there is no falling in love or HEA. This is strictly following 2 twins on a journey through trauma.
We meet Laurel, and she gets it the worst, being a pawn in her father's sick game. Yes. It goes into detail, enough so that it had me closing the book and side eyeing it 👀.
We meet Mikey, who sees what is happening and becomes a ghost in the background, a boy who will do anything to grab the attention of his father, but in all the wrong ways. Un-loved and pushed away.
There was so much manipulation and conditioning and almost "Stockholm syndrome" vibes in this book. It was a whirlwind of emotions from both kids. One forced into silence, one forced to take action.
The writing was good, it's wasn't horrible it wasn't great. I did catch myself getting confused or lost a few times.
All in all, it's a decent book, but just not my cup of tea. I can handle the mention of SA on a minor, but not every chapter. It's too heavy, although I understand that maybe the point of the book, so we can understand the trauma. But there is a point where it is too much.
January 17, 2025
Together Forever, right?
As twins Mikey and Laurel think they have everything in life; each other and loving home with loving parents; tragedy hits and takes the only thing seeming to keep that life molded together their mother.
As Laurel gets older her father still gives her the love she wants nothing more to have, except its a love no father should give his daughter. As she gets older she realizes all of the things he does to her is wrong and tries so hard to have the control over her body that's been taken from her for so long.
Mikey wants nothing more than the love of his sister. He wants to protect her, wants everything to connect the two of them, but his father ruined almost every connection they have had. He's tired of seeing her hurt, but doesn't know how to fix the issue.
Can the twins do anything about their fathers wicked ways? Will there be anything they can do to stop the monster that owns their lives and souls?
M.Day.Kendall takes tragedy to a whole other level with this novel, taking it to the deepest, darkest pits anyone could ever come up with. The triggers in the book are so heavy, ultimately leaving nothing back and placing a heavy feeling in your chest up until the very end.
As twins Mikey and Laurel think they have everything in life; each other and loving home with loving parents; tragedy hits and takes the only thing seeming to keep that life molded together their mother.
As Laurel gets older her father still gives her the love she wants nothing more to have, except its a love no father should give his daughter. As she gets older she realizes all of the things he does to her is wrong and tries so hard to have the control over her body that's been taken from her for so long.
Mikey wants nothing more than the love of his sister. He wants to protect her, wants everything to connect the two of them, but his father ruined almost every connection they have had. He's tired of seeing her hurt, but doesn't know how to fix the issue.
Can the twins do anything about their fathers wicked ways? Will there be anything they can do to stop the monster that owns their lives and souls?
M.Day.Kendall takes tragedy to a whole other level with this novel, taking it to the deepest, darkest pits anyone could ever come up with. The triggers in the book are so heavy, ultimately leaving nothing back and placing a heavy feeling in your chest up until the very end.
February 15, 2024
This books is definitely the epitome of why we have trigger warnings.
This book read like a poetry slam. The first person trauma in this books was eery and hard to read. It’s incredibly detailed and pulls you into the characters pov.
I’ve never been so sad and happy to have a character you despised get what’s coming to them!
The relationship between Mikey and Laurel was crazy how that twin bond, and then the trauma bond fused their relationship.
Thank God for Kyle! At times I was questioning if Laurel was going to be completely off the deep end the whole time.
It will be very interesting to see the conclusion of this story, but I really enjoyed book one.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 5, 2024
I have no idea how to write this review.
First off, the writing is absolutely brilliant. Kendall has a way with words that defies logic. This is a poetic masterpiece and my review won't do it justice. How one can so eloquently describe the psychological damage and trauma experienced by two people, I will never understand.
The abuse that Laurel and Mikey endure, unfortunately, can be understood by more people than we can even imagine and being present for the psychological warfare that these two endure is quite the ride.
MAKE SURE TO CHECK THE TRIGGER WARNINGS. I have never read something so heavy in my entire life and that is saying something.
I would highly recommend this story.
First off, the writing is absolutely brilliant. Kendall has a way with words that defies logic. This is a poetic masterpiece and my review won't do it justice. How one can so eloquently describe the psychological damage and trauma experienced by two people, I will never understand.
The abuse that Laurel and Mikey endure, unfortunately, can be understood by more people than we can even imagine and being present for the psychological warfare that these two endure is quite the ride.
MAKE SURE TO CHECK THE TRIGGER WARNINGS. I have never read something so heavy in my entire life and that is saying something.
I would highly recommend this story.
September 5, 2024
I really don’t know how to review this one. This is one of the most beautifully written books I’ve ever read. The Author’s ability to put into words such deep trauma while explaining the psychological confusion and honesty of the victims is phenomenal. The subject itself makes it very difficult for me to promote the novel. However, understanding the long term ramifications of such horrific abuse is important to prevent it from continuing and validating what the victim has gone through.
This book could be triggering for many people and wasn’t what I thought it was going to be, but man, it was beautifully written!!!
This book could be triggering for many people and wasn’t what I thought it was going to be, but man, it was beautifully written!!!
February 10, 2024
Amazing. Heartbreaking. Revenge. Family. Love. Hate
This book has it all! I love and hated most of the characters, I cried and fussed over all the hardships, I was mad and angry for all the things that happened. I screamed Hell ya to the ending! This was such a hard book to read! Please check the triggers if need be this has underage s** scenes between teenagers, SA, drugs and alcohol use, lots of harmful things but my goodness it was addictive to read. I had to take breaks in the best way such a powerful way to write! 1000% recommending to any taboo dark book lovers out there
This book has it all! I love and hated most of the characters, I cried and fussed over all the hardships, I was mad and angry for all the things that happened. I screamed Hell ya to the ending! This was such a hard book to read! Please check the triggers if need be this has underage s** scenes between teenagers, SA, drugs and alcohol use, lots of harmful things but my goodness it was addictive to read. I had to take breaks in the best way such a powerful way to write! 1000% recommending to any taboo dark book lovers out there
July 27, 2024
OK. So, to start with this review, I want everyone to know that the author did an amazing job capturing my attention, as well as articulating emotions during this story. The writing style itself takes an immense amount of talent in order to tell a story that a majority of the population can understand.
With that, I did have to DNF. this is a book you do not want to go into blind. I have never struggled with triggers while reading before. This story had some that hit way to close to my real life experiences making it harder to read than I had expected. I LOVED THE PARTS I DID READ.
With that, I did have to DNF. this is a book you do not want to go into blind. I have never struggled with triggers while reading before. This story had some that hit way to close to my real life experiences making it harder to read than I had expected. I LOVED THE PARTS I DID READ.
July 18, 2024
This is HEAVY but so good. Definitely need to check trigger warnings, things get pretty graphic.
I loved the dual POV and being in the characters thoughts - it was a really unique way to tell the story and made it hit that much harder. M Day Kendall has a beautiful writing style that feels so poetic and raw.
The ending was so satisfying while still leaving me wanting to know what happens next. I am looking forward to continuing the series.
I loved the dual POV and being in the characters thoughts - it was a really unique way to tell the story and made it hit that much harder. M Day Kendall has a beautiful writing style that feels so poetic and raw.
The ending was so satisfying while still leaving me wanting to know what happens next. I am looking forward to continuing the series.
October 16, 2024
WOW. It feels wrong to say “wow” considering the material but it’s a ….powerful wow. An enraged pissed off wow. An I want to throw this book but can’t stop reading wow. An I really need to give these people a hug wow. A wipe the tear to keep reading wow.
Do not dismiss the warnings. Some people put TWs in there and you wonder when you will get to the heavy stuff. This book you wonder when it will not be heavy.
Do not dismiss the warnings. Some people put TWs in there and you wonder when you will get to the heavy stuff. This book you wonder when it will not be heavy.
March 25, 2024
Ambivalence is a story of a brother and sister who's trajectories in life were forever altered by grief. The sister suffers through years of sexual abuse that is very dark and disturbing. The brother living in such a home starts to no longer feel and slowly slips into the skin of a sociopath. The book is written like stream of consciousness. The sentence fragments forming chaotic poetry.
April 5, 2024
This book was SOOO good!
Before reading definitely make sure to check the triggers because this book is dark, but I liked how gritty, real, and raw it was. The writing was poetic, very reminiscent of Ellen Hopkins, one of my favorite authors. I felt like I’ve just run an emotional marathon with the two main characters. LOVED the ending. I’m excited to read the next 3 books!
Before reading definitely make sure to check the triggers because this book is dark, but I liked how gritty, real, and raw it was. The writing was poetic, very reminiscent of Ellen Hopkins, one of my favorite authors. I felt like I’ve just run an emotional marathon with the two main characters. LOVED the ending. I’m excited to read the next 3 books!
April 15, 2024
I still have no idea how I want to write this review, because it's just good. I really just don't know how to describe it, and it's kind of irritating. It's definitely dark with lots of triggers (READING THE TRIGGER WARNING PAGE), but it's a book that makes you feel. The books writing is designed to be read like poetry, and yes I does have poetry on it. It's honestly just a good read!
May 27, 2024
MD Kendall gives you a well written, trauma induced story that will shake you with its intensity and leave your heart beating wildly. It’s poetry written in a way that tells a tale of abuse, emotional upheaval, grief, longing and you’re just waiting for the day the abuser gets his comeuppance and the abused finds real love. I’m a little shaken and yet I wonder.
May 28, 2024
M. Day Kendall's gripping narrative pulls you into the turbulent lives of Laurel and Mickey, twins who are forced to navigate a world of dark secrets following the loss of their mother. As the story unfolds, you will find it impossible to put the book down. For me, it's a 5-star read, and I highly recommend checking it out. You won't be disappointed."
May 30, 2024
What a complex, dark, and compelling story
I had no idea way to expect. I don't normally read spicy books, but this had it all, drama, love, hate, desire, and abomination. I'm looking forward to book 2.
I had no idea way to expect. I don't normally read spicy books, but this had it all, drama, love, hate, desire, and abomination. I'm looking forward to book 2.
August 30, 2024
I am so sorry but I couldn't get passed chapter 5. It's written in a way I can't get passed I'm sure it's great for most people but as a survivor I feel like it's written in too much fluff for my taste.
March 28, 2024
Dark. Well written.
April 17, 2024
love it!!
The trauma was everything in this book so well written. Definitely check the triggers, but it’s a very good read.
The trauma was everything in this book so well written. Definitely check the triggers, but it’s a very good read.
May 8, 2024
PLEASE check trigger warnings! There’s ALOT going on in this book that can definitely be hard for some readers to handle.
I can’t WAIT to read book 2 to see how the story continues!!
I can’t WAIT to read book 2 to see how the story continues!!
April 15, 2024
The line? Oh! Found it! It was here in M. Day Kendall's novel the whole time. I am not squeamish. Hell, I write horror! I couldn't even finish the story.
THAT ASIDE: Kendall's stylistic prose fully captured the chaotic and confused thoughts of children experiencing trauma. As a survivor, I identified with the feelings of the main characters.
I have been lucky to meet and get to know M. Day Kendall, as I read her work. She has a brilliant mind and has a vulnerability and honesty, I admire in an author. I look forward to seeing more from her.
THAT ASIDE: Kendall's stylistic prose fully captured the chaotic and confused thoughts of children experiencing trauma. As a survivor, I identified with the feelings of the main characters.
I have been lucky to meet and get to know M. Day Kendall, as I read her work. She has a brilliant mind and has a vulnerability and honesty, I admire in an author. I look forward to seeing more from her.
March 19, 2024
I loved it. When I read the trigger list, I was amped. It gave me everything it promised and more! My soul was crushed, I felt the pain that Mikey and Laurel go through. It was incredibly vivid and powerful. This author has a unique style, writing almost in prose and formatting it like poetry. And the author still manages to twist up your heart as you watch all the trauma get piled on top of these siblings. These twins. And this book is incredibly dark, so be prepared!!!
August 22, 2024
Amazing. Heartbreaking. Revenge. Family. Love. Hate
This book has it all! I loved and hated most of the characters, I cried and fussed over all the hardships, and I was mad about all the things that happened. I screamed Hell ya to the ending! This was such a hard book to read! Please check the triggers if need be this has underage s** scenes between teenagers, SA, drugs and alcohol use, and lots of harmful things but my goodness it was addictive to read. I had to take breaks in the best way such a powerful way to write! I 1000% recommend to any taboo dark book lovers out there
This book has it all! I loved and hated most of the characters, I cried and fussed over all the hardships, and I was mad about all the things that happened. I screamed Hell ya to the ending! This was such a hard book to read! Please check the triggers if need be this has underage s** scenes between teenagers, SA, drugs and alcohol use, and lots of harmful things but my goodness it was addictive to read. I had to take breaks in the best way such a powerful way to write! I 1000% recommend to any taboo dark book lovers out there
April 5, 2024
This book was SOOO good!
Before reading definitely make sure to check the triggers because this book is dark, but I liked how gritty, real, and raw it was. The writing was poetic, very reminiscent of Ellen Hopkins, one of my favorite authors. I felt like I’ve just run an emotional marathon with the two main characters. LOVED the ending. I’m excited to read the next 3 books!
Before reading definitely make sure to check the triggers because this book is dark, but I liked how gritty, real, and raw it was. The writing was poetic, very reminiscent of Ellen Hopkins, one of my favorite authors. I felt like I’ve just run an emotional marathon with the two main characters. LOVED the ending. I’m excited to read the next 3 books!
April 24, 2024
Beware of your trigger warnings on this one. Not for the faint of heart but yet it will be hooked. It was hard to get through some scenes for me but you ached for the characters. Kyle and Mikey have my heart.
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews