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How Shall I Tell the Dog?: And Other Final Musings

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In this hilarious and moving book, popular English humorist Miles Kington faces cancer and death with his sparkling trademark wit, musing on everything from board games and yodeling to the prospect of being outlived by his dog.

When some people are told they have only a few months to live, they might travel around the world or write their memoirs or put their affairs in order. When it happened at the age of 66 to Miles Kington-one of England's best-loved humorists-he did what he did best, offering sharp, wry, laugh-out-loud observations and ideas about his situation. Following his diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, Kington proposes crazier and crazier ideas for his next book (what he calls "cashing in on cancer") in a series of letters to his literary agent, Gill.

And what sort of things capture Kington's attention in his waning months? The sudden grimness of those 1,000 Places to See Before You Die books, for example. (What about 100 Things to Do Before You Die, Without Leaving Home?, he suggests. Instead of bungee jumping and whitewater rafting, learn to whistle with two fingers in your mouth, yodel, or steam open envelopes.) The irony that his dog, Berry, will probably outlive him, or the semi-outrageous idea of creating a funeral video:

The answer is quite simple.

Make a video in advance of my farewell speech, to be shown on a monitor, from the pulpit, or on a screen behind the stage, or wherever the best place would be.

I have already visualised the opening shot.

It is of me, smiling ruefully, and saying to camera: "Hello. I'm sorry I couldn't be here in person with you today."

Mischievous and utterly original, Miles Kington's words in the face of death are memorable and surprisingly uplifting.

209 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 16, 2008

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Miles Kington

59 books11 followers

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 52 reviews
Profile Image for Todd.
13 reviews3 followers
July 9, 2013
Being a freelance writer who is being treated for cancer, I came across this title at the library and was struck by both the irreverence and the humor. I've faced my own diagnosis with a bit of a flippant attitude to cope with the lethal reality of this thing I carry around inside of me - a bit like that monster in "Alien."

I've enjoyed the self-deprecating absolute absurdity of Kington's proposals - skillfully done in only the way a Brit can! More often than not, I've seen that people facing a cancer diagnosis, even if it isn't terminal, somehow transform into a more rarified version of themselves and Mr. Kington was no exception. A true humorist and accomplished writer to the end.

And, as a cancer patient myself, I've found that the way the book is put together, I have been able to pick it up in short bursts to accommodate my many interruptions by doctors, nurses, technicians, and visitors or the multitude of appointments, not to mention my attention span being a bit on the short side thanks to the lovely thing I've come to know an love called, "chemo brain" ... and it made me smile when I needed it the most.

Thank you, Miles.
With greatest admiration, Todd.

(Kington ended each letter in a similar way)
24 reviews24 followers
June 5, 2010
I read Miles Kington's How Shall I Tell the Dog out loud to my dogs. That is not an exercise in eccentricity (or insanity) but it forces me to slow down and actually hear and enjoy the language. This was the perfect book to read aloud. I could catch his more subtle humor admid the laugh-out-loud humor.



Couching his Memento Mori in the form of letters to his agent proposing various books (and responses to already published books) about cancer and death and his observations of life is brilliant. It revealed a man's keen observation of people and events and, although funny, reveals much about his own life, his family and life around him. He truly turns the ordinary memoir on its head and perhaps make us look at ourselves and our feelings about life and death and dying differently.



As far back as when Evelyn Waugh wrote The Loved One, the English have thought we (as Americans) had a strange and perverted view of death and the English a rather more balanced perspective. Miles Kington would do Waugh proud - especially when he takes his father-in-law to see Waugh's son, Auberon, enacting a rather mild farce that would be familiar to readers of Decline & Fall or Vile Bodies.



You can give this books all the accolades like heart-warming yet ultimately sad, but even though you are laughing you have to admit that it is searingly honest. I hope I would have Kington's approach to death when it comes time but have I the guts? Do I dare disturb the universe? Kington definitely mixes it up.



Profile Image for Tattered Cover Book Store.
720 reviews2,107 followers
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July 5, 2009
Jackie says:

This is the last work of British humorist Miles Kington, an editor for Punch, writer and reviewer for the London Times and columnist for 22 years in The Independent. Written as a series of letters to his agent, Kington explores the many ways to "cash in on cancer" with book ideas, displaying great grace and humor while staring down pancreatic cancer
with less than a year to live. It's gallows humor to an extent, but very creative and very British. There are definitely laugh out loud moments and no real teary ones--he's much too funny for that.
43 reviews4 followers
July 12, 2009
The title just about says it all for this little book. It’s humourous and to the point. I knew that the author had been diagnosed with terminal cancer before reading it and I knew that the book would be funny. What I didn’t know was how graceful and courageously presented it would be.

How Shall I Tell the Dog is comprised of fictitious letters written to the author’s agent, Gill. These letters consist of ideas for another last book, which ironically (or intentionally) this book turned out to be. Every chapter is filled with funny and sometimes subtle observations about life and death and how people deal with both. From the chapter entitled The Way You Look:

“Dear Gill,

Has anyone ever written a book called something like ‘The Way You Think You Look, and The Way You Really Look’?

It might be subtitled something like ‘How things got that way, and what you can do about it’.”

This book is filled with sly wit and humourous characterizations. The bit of research I did on the author told me that was his usual style. He was a writer for the now defunct Punch magazine and then went on to work at the British newspaper Independent for many years. It was while there that he learned of his cancer and where his daily column was still published right up until the day he died. Despite that, this is not a sad book by any means. For all that it deals with a serious topic, this book is a nice, funny and uplifting read.
Profile Image for Minnie.
233 reviews14 followers
September 16, 2009
I'm reading this book because many years ago Kington wrote an extremely funny essay, "The Croquet solution to Apartheid" His irreverent humour captivated me and when he died I was unexpectedly saddened. So far his last book is living up to expectations.
I cannot recommend this book too highly, it is funny, interesting and has an undertone of almost unspoken sadness that is deeply moving.
Profile Image for Gitta.
64 reviews4 followers
February 4, 2009
A very warm book, and a look into how a human being might proceed when faced with a very short span of time left to appreciate the everydayness of life.
Profile Image for Roz Martin.
26 reviews9 followers
December 8, 2019
A top humor writer and a goodhearted, lively gentleman.
Classy chucklebaiting charm.
I reread bits all the time.
Profile Image for Kate.
2,335 reviews1 follower
September 29, 2021
"How Shall I Tell the Dog? is Miles Kingston's last book, full of his characteristic and much-loved humour. It is also full of a final testament to his professionalism and dedication, and a permanent and moving reminder of how bravely he faced his fatal cancer.

"In the few months before he died, Miles wrote a series of letters to his friend and literary agent, Gill Coleridge, ostensibly proposing a stream of increasingly absurd ideas for books he might write about his cancer. In reality, of course, the letters themselves are the book, as Miles always intended.

"How Shall I Tell the Dog? shows this very English writer at the height of his craft -- and as he confronts his fate with understated but unflinching courage ('what's the point of writing it down as life? Any writer worth his salt improves the story until it's worth telling'), his wit never falters: 'I'm afraid this wasn't an idea for a book after all, only an idea on how to spend the royalties ...

"Wry, poignant and deeply moving, these letters are above all very, very funny. Every word is vintage Kington."
~~front flap

Poignant -- that's the word I'm looking for. Since the reader knows from the start that Miles did not survive his cancer, there's a haunting sense of loss through the whole book. I so wanted it not to be true -- to read at the end that a miracle had happened, that he'd gone into remission, and was still with us, writing humourous columns and books. I, of course, didn't get my wish.

"Miles Beresford Kington (13 May 1941 – 30 January 2008) was a British journalist, musician (a double bass player for Instant Sunshine and other groups) and broadcaster. He is also credited with the invention of Franglais, a fictional language, made up of French and English."

He will be greatly missed!
Profile Image for Charis.
69 reviews
June 19, 2025
Laughed out loud, and cried a little
Profile Image for Lynette.
340 reviews2 followers
March 11, 2016
This book hit me so differently chapter by chapter, sometimes almost page by page -- line by line? The author, a British humor columnist, is dying from pancreatic cancer, and hoping to get a book from it. There were times when I felt like he was really stretching, almost padding the book. Other times it was as if I were channeling Miles Kington, living every nuanced shrug, throat clearing or raised eyebrow -- he managed to convey to me precisely how he was feeling to the point that it was eerie.

Since I have never read any of his columns, it's hard to judge if the writing itself is colored at all by what he is going through, and if so, in what way. The book is humorous and clever in many places. The topic is an extremely difficult one. Here is a good example of his approach to the subject:

"One of the cancer specialists at the hospital told me that statistically my chances of getting through another year were not great.

"'But statistics are misleading,' he said. 'You could be the exception who goes on and on. I have seen it happen. It all depends on your will to live.'

"'How's my will to live?' I said.

"'I've no idea,' he said. 'That's up to you.'

I was amazed.

I was so used to having tests done on everything that I assumed there'd be a test for that as well.

If they take blood from you, they can test the blood for almost everything - iron level, genes, bilirubin, whatever the man needs to know.

Why not the will to live?"

Kington's wife writes an afterword to the book which is helpful by giving the reader a little bit more to go on as far as the author's day-to-day personality. There is an index which I think is quite jolly. I wish more books had them.

Despite my reservations at the beginning, I ended up liking the book rather more than I had thought I would after the strangeness of the first few chapters. It's not for everyone. More for the discriminating reader, one who looks for pith in the quotidian and mundane and who doesn't mind dwelling on the thought of one's own eventual demise.
Profile Image for Jennifer.
1,918 reviews63 followers
April 22, 2013
I only got this out of the library as a stop-gap for a long journey but I enjoyed it and made sure I got all the way to the end, even though it isn't really any kind of a story - you know what happens in the end, alas, Miles Kington dies of cancer as per diagnosis but not in the book. You don't even get much sense of the impact of chemotherapy (although you know he has it) or physical changes, apart from losing weight when he talks about the perils of trying to make an extra hole in your belt or the way he no longer looks good in a tie. In fact, bless, him, he makes it all sound rather easy if puzzling. It's one of those books that could be quite irritating - it's a series of letters, purportedly to his literary agent, on the general theme of what his next book should be about, the big joke being of course that this turns out to be the book. Stephen Thorne's reading is also one which has the potential to grate, hovering dangerously close to smugness on occasion.

But this sort of rambling is classic Kington and why should he give it up just because he's been told he has pancreatic cancer and that he will have to revise his life expectancy very considerably downwards from the 20 years plus he was banking on? The dog, I'm afraid, comes into it very little and he is quite cautious about who and what near to him he drags in, so it could be seen as quite superficial, yet it is still a memoir. He manages to be both serious and funny about what it means to have cancer and to have a life limiting condition. I particularly enjoyed the series of rants about 1000 Places to See Before You Die.
Profile Image for Sammy.
208 reviews1,046 followers
May 29, 2010
When I told people the basic premise for this book they got a confused look upon their face and then commented on how sad that sounded. What I told them and what I shall tell you are the same thing: this book is not sad. It is witty and joyful. It was just what I personally needed to help me continue coping with my dad's current struggle with lung cancer.

Yes, the book is littered with dark humor, the man's dying it's bound to happen. But there is so much clever, biting humor that decorates what could come across as bitterness you're unable to groan or cringe. He faces the issues people try to skirt about with bold-faced openess and then points out how uncomfortable people are with it. He's basically saying, "It's here. Deal with it."

It's a fitting style of autobiography for a humorist. And I'm sure it was cathartic for him to write it in his final days. As his wife points out in the afterword, he died doing what he loved. By just the way he writes you can tell writing brought him the most joy. To me, it reiterated the point that I don't know what's going to happen with my dad, and it doesn't matter. What matters is finding joy wherever you can and enjoying life for all the little things it has to offer. Life is short, don't take it so seriously.

Rest in peace and laughter Miles.
Profile Image for Doug Cornelius.
Author 2 books32 followers
December 15, 2014
The late Miles Kington offers his observations about his diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. The book is structured as a series of letters to his literary agent about ideas for a new book. Miles is looking for a way to "cash in on cancer."

The book is an interesting reading experience and occassionaly amusing. But I did not enjoy the book. In the touching parts he comes across as trying to be funny and the funny parts come across forced, as you see a dying man trying to make the best of his situation. The Afterword by Caroline Kingston was truly touching and moving.

At one point Kington writes: " I love chatting to lonely people. Either I amuse and charm them, or I bore them silly, and then they value their own company when I leave them alone twice as much as they had done ten minutes earlier." I think an analogy can be drawn to the readers of this book. Some will be amused and charmed, others will be happier to just put the book down.
Profile Image for Maria.
107 reviews
January 29, 2014
How Shall I tell the Dog? And Other Final Musings, by Miles Kington, is a book that was written after the author was given his cancer diagnosis, and is a series of short letters to his agent. I did think this was a clever way to present his story, but unfortunately it was not enough for me to get excited about this book. If the title of the book gives you some expectations of a dog being a prominent part of the story, you may be disappointed. Maybe a better title for the book would be Final Musings: And, Oh Ya, I Have a Dog but Won t Talk about Him Much . After working through that disappointment, I never found myself eager to turn the page. I never found my self laughing out loud, and I never thought wow I am so glad I am reading this book .
1,041 reviews1 follower
January 12, 2016
The author was a humor writer in England for 50 years. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and decided to write this book describing his experiences during the part of his life. The book is written as a series of letters to his agent with ideas for a book on dying from cancer. It is quite funny, with that dry humor for which the British are known. He was clearly someone who understood and accepted his prognosis and wanted to spend his final months doing what he enjoyed the most.

I think this book might be very helpful and enjoyable to someone dealing with a similar situation. It shows that you don't have to give up your passion or lose you sense of worth during your last days.
1,575 reviews36 followers
March 22, 2021
I learned who Miles Kington was when I queried the ever-wise Internet on who said "Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad." Answer: Miles Kington. So, off to the library I went to see if they had any of his published books - and this was the only one!

A short collection of fictional letters to his agent, written after Kington is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Most are musings on life and what would make a good book - about cancer? about quirky mundane things that no one has ever written about (sometimes for good reason)? about other things?

Light read with a few chuckles.
Profile Image for Jackie.
692 reviews205 followers
May 3, 2009
This is the last work of British humorist Miles Kington, an editor for Punch, writer and reviewer for the London Times and columnist for 22 years in The Independent. Written as a series of letters to his agent, Kington explores the many ways to "cash in on cancer" with book ideas, displaying great grace and humor while staring down pancreatic cancer
with less than a year to live. It's gallows humor to an extent, but very creative and very British. There are definitely laugh out loud moments and no real teary ones--he's much too funny for that.
Profile Image for Tim.
332 reviews3 followers
August 9, 2011
A book all about procrastinating about book ideas instead of actually writing a book. "100 Things To Do Before I Die", "London For Londoners", "How To Say Goodbye To A Dog", "The Positive Power of Self-Pity", "I Was Sorry To Hear About Your ... Your ... Your ..."

When you think the book is over there is an index (almost as described in the chapter "Map") so you can quickly find entries about his different ideas. If you haven't read "Someone Like Me" then try to read that before this as it is referenced and explained.
Profile Image for Mary Mcgobe.
74 reviews1 follower
September 1, 2013
I was very disappointed with this book. I have stage IV cancer and was ready to enjoy reading this guys humorous account of his own battle. That is not what happened. Instead, he rambled on about people he used to work with back in the 80's, tourist attractions in other countries, etc... Also, I found it did that he was troubled by getting dancer at the age of 66. I'm 31 and have cancer so I have little sympathy for being sick at 66. Also, this book was not funny. It was annoying. You could tell he was trying to be funny but it really didn't work.
Profile Image for Taffnerd.
167 reviews4 followers
March 7, 2010
Kington was a well-loved British humorist who died in 2008. This, his last book, takes the form of a series of letters to his editor in which he muses about his recent cancer diagnosis and tries out ideas for a final book. It was never maudlin and often quite funny. His rally against 1000 Places to See Before you Die is great and the bits on yodeling inspired.

He's a very Brittish writer and many of the references were unknown to me but I still really enjoyed this little book.
Profile Image for Mary  BookHounds .
1,303 reviews1,965 followers
June 4, 2009
My favorite line in the whole book is when Kington decides that a memorial video is the wave of the future and would like to begin his with "Hello, I'm sorry I couldn't be here in person with you today". Although I knew very little about this English author, I really did enjoy the humor and the wonderful word play. This is a very quick read and quite enjoyable.
18 reviews17 followers
December 14, 2012
This is not an animal book (like most others on my shelf). This is a reflective, make-you-smile sort of book that muses over people's behavior, including our own. Miles Kington is a great bedtime story-teller with a grandfather-quality to his humor.
20 reviews
April 1, 2013
I borrowed this from the library because I have really enjoyed Miles Kington's other book. But I wasn't optimistic that a book about dying from cancer could be funny. In fact though, I really enjoyed it - laugh-out-loud funny in places, genuinely moving in others. I may have to buy my own copy.
Profile Image for Sharen.
Author 9 books15 followers
March 2, 2015
Miles Kington - master wordsmith. Just a delight. Especially enjoyed the stories he tells of his father-in-law Nick! This is a treat - and after enjoying Franglais, i am anxious to read all his other books.
Profile Image for Karl Agan.
Author 7 books86 followers
March 3, 2014
Cancer does not have to be all sad. Flipping and reading through the letters in this book somehow shows that Miles is a person who take things easy and does not go down hard on himself. A fun and easy going lad. RIP Miles, I really like this one.
Profile Image for Jeanne.
2,184 reviews
April 13, 2010
a cute collection of musings from a writer who found out he had incurable cancer. light hearted recollections and thoughts
Profile Image for Janh55.
29 reviews
May 11, 2010
Delicious, touching unsentimental.
Profile Image for Brandy Odegard.
14 reviews
June 18, 2011
A little heart-wrenching as I picked this up because the author has pancreatic cancer which I lost my dad to this summer. Easy to read but British humor.
Profile Image for Robin.
384 reviews9 followers
May 25, 2014
After about two thirds of the way through, I thought the letters got repetitive.
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