I Will Marry George Clooney

by Tracy Bloom

A brand new very funny Christmas novel, from the bestselling author of No-One Ever Has Sex on a Tuesday and Single Woman Seeks Revenge.

There comes a time in every woman's life when the only answer is to marry George Clooney.

For Michelle, that time is now.

Slogging her guts out in a chicken factory whilst single-handedly bringing up a teenager who hates her is far from the life that 36-year-old Michelle had planned.

But marrying the most eligible man on the planet by Christmas could change all that, couldn't it?

Sometimes your only option is to dream the impossible - because you never know where it might take you.

Genres: Christmas, Chick Lit, Romance, Contemporary, Fiction, Adult, Ebooks

375 pages, Paperback

First published October 9, 2014

Reviews

[Elaine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have always known that one day I would marry George Clooney so when I saw this available on Netgally I just HAD to request it. At last, a heroine after my own heart!

Michelle is in love with George. He is the one, as far as she is concerned and her story starts following an argument with her daughter Josie, in which she vows that she will marry George Clooney by Christmas. It is a fun read, very far fetched in places but still extremely entertaining as we watch Michelle hatch her scheme to engineer a meeting with George so that she can propose. Michelle is 36, a little overweight, a single mother with a dead end job in a chicken factory and you know right from the start that there is not a cat in hell’s chance of her actually marrying George. She is just an ordinary woman, like most of us who secretly dream of being Mrs C, who is determined to follow her dream with the help of her friends and family. Now I admit I did occasionally cringe with embarrassment on her behalf, and felt like saying “come on woman, get a grip on reality”. Similarly, I wanted to grab hold of her best friends Gina and Daz and ask them whether they really thought they were doing her any favours by encouraging her in her quest.

Having said that, it is most definitely a fun, feel good read. As Michelle and Gina plot their way through the story, both of them realise they have hidden depths and, despite the outcome of their plans, their lives are going to be changed forever. As well as the George storyline there is a separate back story when a ghost from the past returns to town and I really enjoyed this sub plot as secrets from Michelle’s past are revealed, which could have the power to divide her family forever.

To sum up, a really good, entertaining, funny read that will strike a chord with anyone who has secretly dreamed of marrying their favourite celebrity. Many thanks to the publishers for the review copy and congratulations and best wishes, of course, to the new Mr and Mrs Clooney.

[Kylie🐾 · Rating 5 out of 5]

I seriously enjoyed this book and after reading two books from Tracy , I now love her work and I am hoping to read more from her. I love George Clooney so I completely get this

[Tara - runningnreading · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I read the title of this book, I definitely giggled out loud and knew that Tracy Bloom had something hilarious in store for me, just like she did in No-One Ever Has Sex on a Tuesday; I knew I would be entertained, I just didn't know how meaningful the entertainment would be by the end of this delightful tale. While I love to get some good laughs as I read, and there were plenty in this one, I also enjoy being swept off my feet; Bloom's main character, Michelle, definitely had me hooked and I was rooting for her from the very beginning.

Like many women have done in the past, Michelle gave up her biggest dream of becoming a chef in London to take care of the baby she had at a fairly young age; with the father unavailable and a rather complicated family situation, Michelle has done everything she can to ensure that her daughter has the best life possible. In the meantime, Michelle has put her desires and wishes to the side, including any notions of romance or a meaningful relationship with a partner, and she really wants to make sure that her daughter, Josie, is able to cultivate the skills to navigate the world of relationships without having had a father present in her home.

In an effort to relate to her daughter and create some form of mutual understanding, Michelle makes a wager with Josie and must enlist the help of her closest friends Gina, Little Slaw, Daz the DJ and others in her small town community; amid the effort to see her plan to fruition, Michelle, her friends, and her daughter learn a lot more about themselves, and each other, than they'd expected. In addition, secrets are uncovered, old wounds opened and some long-awaited communication finally takes place; Bloom does a fantastic job of weaving the tender moments into the hilarious debauchery.

As usual, I loved reading the uniquely-British phrases and catch myself trying to incorporate them into my everyday vernacular, just so I can stay in my little world of characters. If you have a chance to pick up a copy of this one, I would highly encourage you to do so; not only do I guarantee laughter, but also some wonderful moments that will have you thinking about the importance of your own family and friends.

[Scatterbooker · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this copy from the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

A brand new very funny Christmas novel, from the bestselling author of No-One Ever Has Sex on a Tuesday and Single Woman Seeks Revenge.

There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only answer is to marry George Clooney.

For Michelle, that time is now.

Slogging her guts out in a chicken factory whilst single-handedly bringing up a teenager who hates her is far from the life that 36-year-old Michelle had planned.

But marrying the most eligible man on the planet by Christmas could change all that, couldn’t it?

Sometimes your only option is to dream the impossible – because you never know where it might take you…

My Thoughts:

I read this book as part of the Aussie Readers December Challenge at Goodreads which involves reading as many Christmas/New Year themed books during the month of December. I Will Marry George Clooney (By Christmas) certainly fits the requirements, although its not too Christmassy.

Michelle has set herself the task of marrying George Clooney (by Christmas) in an attempt to win over her troublesome teenage daughter and enlists the help of her friends Gina and Dazza to engineer a meeting with George. There were plenty of laughs throughout the book and the plot was a bit far fetched at times but it worked well as a whole. I liked the central message that it is necessary to dream big and work hard to achieve your goals.

I Will Marry George Clooney (By Christmas) also explored quite a few serious issues, such as the relationship between Michelle and her daughter Josie and the long term effects of losing a loved one. Michelle and her family are still struggling with the death of her sister Jane 16 years later.

This book was a fun, quick and enjoyable book which I was easily able to read in one sitting. I can’t reveal whether Michelle did manage to marry George Clooney in the end but he is unfortunately off the market ladies, so perhaps she did.

[Liz]

Not one of her best, that being ‘The Weekend Before the Wedding’. A bit silly, if I’m honest, and I wanted her to marry the other bloke anyway.
Her daughter’s father turned out to be Rob, her sister’s boyfriend. They ended up together. I preferred the DJ who took her to Italy, helped organise the cooking festival etc.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Review to follow.

[Mary B · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars
This book has got some of the cheesiest moments I have ever read in a book and I LOVED it!!! However, the majority of it was pretty realistic. There were a couple of times when the story went back in time and I was like "Huh?". But I'm not sure it that's due my old age or maybe a couple of the brain cells I might have killed in the '70 or '80's. I figured it out, just took me a few minutes. I will tell you that my jaw definitely dropped when I found out who Josie's dad was, that was one huge shocker!!

I think the author did an awesome job with this. The road trip to deliver Chaz was just about the right length. Any longer and I think she definitely would have lost the reader. I know throughout most of the book, I was speeding through the pages to see if she really did get to meet George Clooney. I knew there was no way she would marry him, but just the thrill of meeting him would have been enough for me. And no, I'm not going to tell you whether she does or not. What fun would that be for a reader? And, the final scene, her last day at work, okay the VERY cheesiest and most romantic and while I didn't sob, I did well up a tear or two.

While there was a lot of talk about sex, the author didn't feel as though she needed to spell it out for us, so there were no pages that I had to skip, so that part was good (for me).

While I guess you would call this a romance, it was much more than that. It was about friendship, family, community, charity, growing up, responsibilities and dreams. It was a very entertaining book which I highly recommend!

Thanks Lawsome Books and Net Galley for providing me with this free e-galley in exchange for an honest review. I truly enjoyed this book and think it would be good for YA, (older ones as there is some language) adults and Green Bay Cheeseheads. HA!!!

[Best Crime Books & More · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved the title of this book but wasn’t entirely sure of its synopsis. Whilst I use the word escapism, this book takes it to a whole new level Michelle is a likeable character, and as a 36 year old woman raising her teenage daughter there was a certain amount of empathy for her. Due to her pregnancy she gave up her pipe dream of working as a chef and instead fills her days working at a chicken factory with her equally likeable character friends Gina and Little Slaw.

Michelle also has the label of the girl whose sister died, and sadly there are more secrets surrounding that than at first appears. Michelle’s family are all a little bit bonkers, her Mother Kathleen, Father Ray and incredibly stroppy 15 year old daughter Josie. Michelle ‘literally’ agrees to marry George Clooney in a bid to persuade her daughter not to make bad decisions. This alone borders on the slightly surreal and although enjoyable, lost its appeal slightly for me for the sheer craziness of the premise.

Although I say that, there are some incredibly funny moments in this book mainly coming from her friends with the inclusion of an old school friend Daz. With Michelle agreeing to do a charity event, and then the re-appearance of her dead sister’s ex-boyfriend life seems to get crazier by the day. Now although the story was a little bit on the crazy side, it was also one which I thoroughly enjoyed. I have read one other Tracy Bloom book which I enjoyed and I will certainly go on to read more.

The ending was done nicely and I actually thought it was a good way to wrap the book up. Very readable and there is plenty of humour wrapped up in this book and its characters, so certainly an easy to read book which would no doubt accompany anybody on a nice relaxing holiday!

[Leah · Rating 2 out of 5]

I liked the idea of this novel, more than the novel itself. At first, I was interested and really into it (although I still can't believe Michelle tried to get George Clooney to marry her, it's the single most ridiculous thing I've probably ever heard in my life) but I sort of lost interest pretty rapidly because Michelle irritated the life out of me.

Ugh. All she did was whinge and moan, and whinge and moan, and I just couldn't put up with it, and I ended up skim-reading the last half of the novel. There's making bad choices, and then there's just Michelle. The narrative drove me half insane, what is it about these anti-social heroines that people find so endearing? I just pitied Michelle most of the time, sadly (and not in a good way, I'm afraid).

With a title like I Will Marry George Clooney (By Christmas) it should have been a light and frothy read, but sadly it was anything but for me.

[Kathleen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Meh. Meh. Niet het beste boek, niet het slechtste boek en uiteraard zeer voorspelbaar en al. Het ergste van al? Ik ben er niet door in kerststemming geraakt. Boe!

[Helen Gray · Rating 4 out of 5]

Started this thinking that would be a typical "chick lit" woman chasing man story. I was more surprised that it was about a mother/daughter and their story. Give it a try, you will be surprised.

[Lori · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found "I Will Marry George Clooney (...By Christmas)" by Tracy Bloom on display with other holiday-related books just before leaving for the holidays. "There comes a time in every woman's life when the only answer is to marry George Clooney," the tagline reads. As a big fan of George myself, how could I resist, with a title & premise like that??

This is chick-lit with a British accent and a celebrity tie-in -- extremely light and silly, totally unrealistic at some points and completely predictable at others -- but sometimes, light & silly is what you want & need from a book. It was a quick and easy read and, overall, I enjoyed it.

The plot: Michelle, 36, is a gourmet chef by training who once dreamed of a career in London, but became pregnant and now works at a dead-end job in a chicken factory in her hometown to support her rebellious 15-year-old daughter, Josie. Josie has announced her plan to lose her virginity on her upcoming 16th birthday to her loser of a boyfriend, Sean -- which Michelle desperately wants to prevent. This results in a bet between mom & daughter: Josie agrees that, if Michelle meets and marries George Clooney by Christmas, she will not sleep with Sean and she will go to university. Hanging over Michelle's head is the ghost of her older and more successful sister, Jane, who died 16 years ago in a car accident -- and the unexpected appearance of Jane's fiancé, Rob, whose return to town creates more complications. The lingering impact of grief and its longterm effects on Michelle and her family was one of the things I liked most about this book.

Michelle's quest to meet and marry the desirable Mr. Clooney is more about a mother's love for her daughter and her desire to see her daughter live a better life -- to encourage her, by this outrageous example, to pursue her dreams -- than any huge celebrity obsession. (Also, other than the title and cover design, it really doesn't have a lot to do with Christmas.) But it's fun to watch/read as (with the help of her loyal friends and coworkers) she confronts -- and overcomes -- one obstacle after another in pursuit of her goal. Three stars.

[Sophie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Posted in full http://www.reviewedthebook.co.uk/2015...

I Will Marry George Clooney (…By Christmas) is a book title that demands your attention and having loved No-One Ever Has Sex on a Tuesday, I was definitely looking forward to reading another Tracy Bloom novel. What I love about Tracy’s writing is that she chooses to focus on less than conventional themes and characters and so you know you’re probably not going to read another story like them. I Will Marry George Clooney (…By Christmas) is no different. Michelle is stuck in a rut. She’s constantly arguing with her fifteen year old daughter Josie, who is obsessed with her boyfriend Sean and not at all impressed by her mother and the way she lives her life. Michelle hates how quickly her daughter is growing up and, not being a fan of Sean, is quite desperate to stop them having sex. At her lowest moment, Michelle, hilariously and somewhat worryingly, comes to the conclusion that George Clooney is the answer. Marrying George Clooney that is. And so she strikes a deal with Josie. If she can get George Clooney to marry her, no matter how unlovable her family tell her she is, before Christmas and Josie’s sixteenth birthday, then Josie won’t sleep with her boyfriend. Of course Josie agrees. How likely is it that her mum will marry George Clooney? And so the wacky but very entertaining story begins.

I’m so torn on this review because this book was, for me, broken down into two parts – one which I loved and one which was a bit painful to read. Negative part first, and I don’t mean to be cruel when I say it was painful, but I genuinely winced every single time the relationships between Michelle and her mother and Michelle and her daughter were explored. Both mum and daughter are incredibly nasty to Michelle, they were seriously horrible, never missing a chance to put her down and make her feel even more down on herself than she already was. Sure, Michelle wasn’t perfect (who is?) – she was a bit scatty and in a bit of a dreamland at times – but there was no way in a million years that she should have been getting all that abuse. I liked how Tracy chose to focus on their relationships, and how George Clooney had suddenly become the person needed to fix all their problems, but I didn’t like what was happening, especially not the way Kathleen treat her daughter Michelle. She was insufferable, nasty and spiteful. She said the meanest things and kept comparing Michelle, unfairly, to her sister who died many years ago. I hated Kathleen, really I did.

I didn’t hate Michelle’s daughter Josie but I did think she treat her mum badly too. In a way, she was just the typical teenage girl, more interested in boys than her family and I guess most teenagers think their parents, (or in Josie’s case her mum since she doesn’t know who her father is), are totally embarrassing. There’s sometimes that naivety with people Josie’s age which makes them act like they hate their mums when really they’re just being a bit stroppy and occupied with younger, cooler people and falling in what they consider love. But Josie pushed things that bit further and was very cutting. Even though I felt the use of these relationships grounded the book so it wasn’t just focusing on the crazy (but fun) story to marry George Clooney, I did find all the hate and put-downs a bit draining. I love Tracy Bloom’s writing for her humour and for the first 100 pages or so of this book, the tone was just too serious. There was wit but it wasn’t having the desired effect on me because everything else was so harsh.

What I did love about this book was Michelle. Not for the obvious reasons. She wasn’t the best role model, she wasn’t the most bubbly, the easiest to like character. But I loved how she was on this mission to marry George Clooney and she wasn’t planning on letting anything get in her way. She even went on a trip to Italy to chase her man. I found it so funny that at times Michelle did seem to really, honestly believe that she could marry George Clooney. And so I found myself thinking about what could possibly happen if and when she met George and I guess I got transported along with the madness of this story. I loved the gall of her character, to make the decision to stop sitting back and moping, to head out all the way to Italy to chase her dream and to find George. Everything about the trip was ridiculous and far-fetched but in the best way possible because the hilarity kept me hooked and the more ludicrous things got, the funnier I found the story. Tracy’s wit is something else and she can be relied on to make you forget about your own life for a good few hours and enjoy giggling at someone else’s.

There were two minor characters in this book who I really liked. One being Gina, a friend of Michelle’s. Maybe Gina could have tried to talk Michelle out of some of her mad ideas, maybe that would have been the sensible thing to do but I liked how Gina wasn’t sensible. She was buoyed by anything humorous and I didn’t find that she was laughing at Michelle, more trying to help put a smile back on her face. Gina really made things interesting and amusing and I would have liked to see her involved more. My favourite character who I really wanted to see more from was Little Slaw, Michelle and Gina’s colleague who was super cute and the language barrier through his broken English made him all the more endearing. I don’t even know why, really, but I loved him and his little pep talks and attempts at encouragement. Also how he tried so hard to understand Michelle’s choices even when they really did make no sense.

There’s a lot of wit to this story but also a more sensitive side. The relationship between Michelle and Josie, for one, which suggests maybe the impact of Josie not having a father is actually bigger than even she had realised. Then there’s the emotional journey Michelle goes on this book through her family issues, the grief for her dead sister, the sadness and hopelessness she feels in her own life, the desire she has to prove herself to all the people who look down on her and treat her like she’s good for nothing. Whatever was happening, I found myself rooting for Michelle and I wasn’t sure what to expect from the ending but it was a satisfying way to finish and I think I’m kind of going to miss the insanity of this book now it’s over. Maybe.


*Review copy

[Dayve Rampas · Rating 4 out of 5]

I WILL MARRY GEORGE CLOONEY (…BY CHRISTMAS)
Tracy Bloom

𝙰𝚗𝚢𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚞𝚒𝚕𝚝 𝚊𝚗 𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚒𝚛𝚎, 𝚘𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚕𝚍, 𝚜𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚠. 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚜𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚘 𝚒𝚝.
- 𝚁𝚢𝚊𝚗 𝙱𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚊𝚖, 𝚄𝚙 𝚒𝚗 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙰𝚒𝚛 (𝟸𝟶𝟶9)

You think it’s easy to meet George Clooneh meh?

An average-looking single mum in her mid-thirties thought that she was the perfect woman to fill in the famous celebrity’s life. Nope. It was just her bet with her ‘teen-from-hell’ daughter who was disappointed because she never knew who her father is. Michelle had a crush with this guy, her dead’s sister boyfriend, but she never dare to talk about it due to her respect to her sister. Most of the characters surrounding Michelle were absolutely wonderful as they were encouraging her instead of trying to ‘inject’ some sense into her. The novel is just a fun ans frothy read. In short, light rom-com. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Not so Christmas, though. Just some crazy mission of Michelle and her friends.

Bulihlah… Flat sikit. 😅

[Cynthia (Bingeing On Books) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ugh, I almost DNF-d this one halfway through. I didn’t mind Michelle so much and I could relate to her being stuck in a rut and standing in our own way when it came to her dreams. But her daughter, Josie, was SUCH A BRAT. Okay, yeah I get that she’s fifteen years old and teenagers are usually brats, but this was just too much. She would just flat out insult her mother and refuse to do anything she said and Michelle just took it. I wanted to slap Josie so hard so many times. And the mom irritated me too, the way she was still comparing Michelle to her daughter who had died sixteen years earlier. The plot itself was light hearted and interesting, but I thought the ending with Rob was way too rushed and there was never any confrontation with her mom. Not a good read for me.

[Gina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this was a light hearted book. A lot of the characters are relateable. Initially I thought "Oh no.... Not this kind of book!" But I became hopeful that Michelle could make her dreams come true and sort out the mess that she had got herself into. The ending brought a little tear to my eye.

[Ashim · Rating 1 out of 5]

Colossal waste of time. Took forever to read it and the only reason I finished it was because I hate leaving books unread. The only good thing about this book is its title, and even that will probably only speak to Clooney fans. Plot is dumb, characters are weak and annoying, and it seems like the writer tries desperately to draw a moral at the end.

[Henry Bradshaw · Rating 5 out of 5]

A most entertaining and enjoyable read.

The twists and turns of this single mums life were most amusing. I cannot relate to her life style (being both male and of an older generation) her problems and relationships were made real and in a most amusing way. I shall looks forward to reading further books by Tracey.

[Grainne Plaxton · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was really looking forward to reading this book and while it wasnt a bad read by any means it didnt meet my expectations. I do think it would very well on screen however as a screenplay. It was amusing in parts but also a little tedious. Not sure if it was brilliance or lack of it that the heroine never got to meet George himself.

[25castleson25clouds · Rating 5 out of 5]

I couldn't put this book down and spent hours sat reading it at a time. Although it was predictable, I really enjoyed the escapism, and its bubble gum humour was exactly what I needed. I would thoroughly recommend.

[AtomicBiker · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't enjoy this as much as the author's other work. I usually find their stuff very funny but I only was mildly amused in a couple of places throughout. Easy read though and good for a summer read

[clanger3920 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Living your dream

A quite charming look at the complexities of life and reaching out and having ambition and determination are what its about to reach f or the star's to make your dreams come true.

[Becky · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lovely fantastic read. Nothing really to it so i did get bored at one point but always think dont give up and really glad i didnt. If you need something to lift your spirits and a light romantic read give this a go.

[Sandy Samuel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sweet story

It's not at all realistic, but isn't that the point of fiction? It's a sweet story about a woman trying to do right by her daughter. Along the way she realizes what she really wants out of life.

[Julia Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyable easy to read book. Good characters and story. I enjoyed the interactions of the different characters which gave it subtle humour.

[Claire · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have read better

[Janelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyable light read with some laugh out loud moments and I read it for the title!

[Tamara · Rating 3 out of 5]

A easy to read, entertaining story, probably more like 3.5 stars. Interesting premise with engaging characters, a little predictable but still an enjoyable read.

[micky calder · Rating 4 out of 5]

Slow going at first but worth a read

It was a near our down and give up BUT I stuck with it and enjoyed it....not one of her best