What do you think?
Rate this book
The Night He Died: The Harsh Reality of Teenage Drinking. A Neurosurgeon and Father's Personal Journey of Turning Tragedy into Hope
Life and Death . . .
Two words with such opposite meaning and which inflict such contradictory emotions and yet are so closely intertwined in our lives.
As parents, we bring meaning and life into this world through our children. Our lives become defined as a result. We learn the joy, hardship, and responsibility of shaping an innocent life. But a day will come when that life will be taken. For some, death will come too soon.
Thus is the story of my son, Brian Nicholas Hoeflinger, who died unexpectedly at age 18. Brian was drinking alcohol the night he died and drove drunk. His car struck a tree and his life was ended. Nothing about Brian’s life suggested that he would meet this kind of untimely end. He was a gifted student and accomplished athlete. He was always generous with his time and words of encouragement to anyone who needed help. He was a good boy who made a mistake, and that one mistake cost him his life.
That is the harsh reality of teenage drinking. I’ll never forget the image of my son lying there dead on a cold gurney in Trauma room 24 at Toledo Hospital, a room that I have been in so many times before as a neurosurgeon but never as a father. His lifeless body lay there almost as though he were asleep, and I wished he were only asleep but I knew he was dead and would never come back home with us. It was the worst singular feeling that I have ever experienced in my life. The second worst experience in my life was telling my 3 other children later that night that their older brother Brian was dead. It was heart breaking to watch Kevin, Julie, and Christie say goodbye to their big brother forever that night. Nothing can ever prepare you for such an event.
And yet from this tragedy has come guidance and hope for others not to make the same mistake. This book will take you on a personal journey through the life and death of my son. You will see through my eyes the pain and agony of losing a child, but you will also experience the love, inspiration, and hope that has resulted. By reading this book, you will learn how more lives will be touched and saved through the life and death of my son than I could ever accomplish as a neurosurgeon. This is a book that every parent and every teenager should read.
Two words with such opposite meaning and which inflict such contradictory emotions and yet are so closely intertwined in our lives.
As parents, we bring meaning and life into this world through our children. Our lives become defined as a result. We learn the joy, hardship, and responsibility of shaping an innocent life. But a day will come when that life will be taken. For some, death will come too soon.
Thus is the story of my son, Brian Nicholas Hoeflinger, who died unexpectedly at age 18. Brian was drinking alcohol the night he died and drove drunk. His car struck a tree and his life was ended. Nothing about Brian’s life suggested that he would meet this kind of untimely end. He was a gifted student and accomplished athlete. He was always generous with his time and words of encouragement to anyone who needed help. He was a good boy who made a mistake, and that one mistake cost him his life.
That is the harsh reality of teenage drinking. I’ll never forget the image of my son lying there dead on a cold gurney in Trauma room 24 at Toledo Hospital, a room that I have been in so many times before as a neurosurgeon but never as a father. His lifeless body lay there almost as though he were asleep, and I wished he were only asleep but I knew he was dead and would never come back home with us. It was the worst singular feeling that I have ever experienced in my life. The second worst experience in my life was telling my 3 other children later that night that their older brother Brian was dead. It was heart breaking to watch Kevin, Julie, and Christie say goodbye to their big brother forever that night. Nothing can ever prepare you for such an event.
And yet from this tragedy has come guidance and hope for others not to make the same mistake. This book will take you on a personal journey through the life and death of my son. You will see through my eyes the pain and agony of losing a child, but you will also experience the love, inspiration, and hope that has resulted. By reading this book, you will learn how more lives will be touched and saved through the life and death of my son than I could ever accomplish as a neurosurgeon. This is a book that every parent and every teenager should read.
- GenresNonfiction
190 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2014
22 people are currently reading
210 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
August 4, 2021
I read this book to preview it because I was thinking of having my teenage son read it. I’m glad I did because it was not what I expected. There was basically one chapter about the night Brian died. The rest of the book is repetitive, has a whole chapter of excerpts of things Brian wrote when he was alive and quotes from his friends and classmates after his death, and journal entries from his dad (the author). His dad is understandably grieving but all of the blaming other people and alcohol itself didn’t sit well with me. It’s a very short book but repeats a lot, it has the same quotes 2-3 times and his dad says the same sort of things over and over again.
April 13, 2025
A good kid, from a good family, with many friends and a future that would not extend to his high school graduation. Every parent hopes this story won't happen in their family: the sad reality is that it happens too often.
I don't want to sugarcoat this review. The raw emotion is palpable. Tears will fall on the text as you read and just know that there is nothing in this world that can ease the pain of losing a child, a brother, a friend, a grandchild, a student, a neighbor. Yet those who feel this loss most deeply are often overlooked with the passage of time.
Dr. Brian Hoeflinger's words are from the heart.
I don't want to sugarcoat this review. The raw emotion is palpable. Tears will fall on the text as you read and just know that there is nothing in this world that can ease the pain of losing a child, a brother, a friend, a grandchild, a student, a neighbor. Yet those who feel this loss most deeply are often overlooked with the passage of time.
Dr. Brian Hoeflinger's words are from the heart.
June 4, 2019
My daughter's high school assigned this book to read over summer vacation, so I decided to read it before her, to discuss with her the issue of teenage drinking. While this book talks about the danger of teenage drinking and driving and how parents can try to stop it, it seems to be very repetitive. I liked how the author told stories about it his son and what a great kid he was, but it does seem to gloss over in the beginning that his kid unfortunately did something he should never have done. It is almost more of a book about grief than teenage drinking.
December 9, 2024
The book wasnt boring but it wasn’t that interesting… I thought it was going to be more about his son and the car accident and what happen etc but it was basically about the grief of him and his family and what teenage drinking can do and the quotes his son wrote and talk about how he son was a good kid etc we learn about his son.
August 29, 2019
meaningful
August 13, 2020
Great read
Great book and a real eye opener you must be ready for a long read but very very good book
Great book and a real eye opener you must be ready for a long read but very very good book
December 30, 2022
Heartbreaking but definitely worth the read. From a father’s perspective.
September 20, 2024
Heartbreaking…. Should be on high school reading lists!!!!
July 14, 2015
It is hard to give this book a low rating due to the emotional and sensitive content in the book. Although it is not written very well, and seems like a long rambling at times...that's what makes the book emotionally strong. My boss and I met with Brian and his wife in June 2015 to discuss some sort of legislation we could work on to combat this issue. As a good Aide, I decided to read the book to get a better grasp on the issue. This book is an easy read, but very emotional at times since you can sense Brian's pain in reading it. If you or a loved one have gone through a similar situation, this is a book you may relate to.
February 3, 2014
A sad story about the painful loss of a son. It attempts to open your eyes to the reality of teenage drinking that is all too often ignored.
February 7, 2014
Gutwrenching true story. Good read for everyone in the family, opens up conversations between parents and teens.
July 21, 2014
If this happened to this family, it can happen to anyone. We all need to constantly educate our children on this subject.
May 28, 2015
Very sad and makes you really think about kids and alcohol
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews