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Bought and Paid For
An American girl backpacking through Europe is kidnapped and sold into sexual slavery.
Words: 209,040
Words: 209,040
ebook
First published January 10, 2021
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August 25, 2022
To preface this review: no, I don't need therapy. Therapy needs me. 😌
I didn't think I need trigger warnings as a concept at all till this beautifully enlightening day. But to be fair, no amount of trigger warnings would suffice either because this book's a big, fat warning of its own.
The rage I experienced while reading this book?
Almost cathartic. Some sort of an out-of-body experience. I've not felt that kind of rage in while. Is it healthy? Is it good? Is it bad? It's me.
Every time Maximilian (H) would open his rustydustymusty mouth he caused me a mental fucking seizure
that would send me straight into the thick of the violent fantasies where I chop him piece by piece unhurriedly with a butcher's knife, making him crawl on his knees, kissing my feet and begging to end the torture.
Cute, very cute. Now SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Max screams justifiable homicide, but you know the worstpart about me, absolutely atrocious and horrifying part of this all??
Somewhere along the way I stopped hating this sex trafficking serial rapist psycho with mommy issues and sadistic tendencies. 🙁 I know, shocker, right.
And no, the author does not practice sorcery. Nah, Max is not redeemed. Pfff, no, he does not turn into a doting prince charming, either. 😌#Slave_Owner_once_Slave_Owner_Forever💖
My pure hatred slowly transformed into cautious armed neutrality all thanks to all the other male characters that gave my little angel Max a run for his money and made this sex purchasing narcissistic sadist look like a celestial creature personified. Nice move, Miss Author.
God, I'm mentally exhausted just thinking about how his mentally unstable mates drank, bathed and soaked in purespiri misogyny, which exploded from all of their orifices (honourable mention: God Of Malice, RK 💖💕)
Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are... this proverb never rang a bell as much as it did in this book.
Meet one of Max's friends, a Doc saving lives by day, raping innocent women and making them swallow his piss by night:
Omgggg I needed this man to die right in front of my eyes, but instead of being wiped off the face of the Earth he's getting his own book?I'm reading it next. 😌
Might I add that I absolutely hated that creep with pedophilic tendencies and I still can't wrap my head around the fact that Max let this horrendously sleazy and disgusting in his best days guy piss in Jessica's mouth, see her naked, leave blemishes on her skin and rub his cock off her. Weren't beating, humiliation and degradation supposed to be reserved for Max' exclusive enjoyment? Make it make sense. 🤨
Considering how possessive the author made Max out to be, it bugged me the wrong way that he only considered sexual penetration off-limits when it came to his fellow maniacal sadists playing with his human sex pet. He didn't let the creepy Dogc penetrate her anywhere, so what? It's still sharing in my book. And apparently I don't take well to pimps sharing their toys. I need my fiction to be classier than that. Sophisticated girls like me set their standards sky-high, but what's new? 💅🏻
Fun fact of the day: yes, in a story that features human trafficking, drugging, rape, beating, humiliation and abuse, I only care that the hero doesn't share his little sex slave. What about it?
Anyway, I can't believe I've waffled so much talking about all these secondary and minor characters while failing to mention
the main characters aka the Holy Trinity of this epic love story:
Misogyny 👍🏻💖💕
Degradation 🤩😍🥰
Dehumanization 😌✨💫
Who are even Max and Jessica in the grand scheme of things? The smallest of cogs in a very large machine that is this book, which boasts male characters that carry the heavy burden of setting women back 100 years on their shoulders. 💪🏻
✨RANDOM THOUGHTS THAT I NEED TO LET OUT TO BE FINALLY RELEASED FROM THE WEIRD SPELL THIS MISOGYNY FEST IS HAVING ME UNDER✨
📍 He is 37 years old yet he still cannot get over his mommy issues and takes it out on each and every woman at his reach? Hmm hello, I have daddy issues so where's my very own male slave so I could vent my frustrations with the use of a paddle to get back at whole male population? 😍😍😍
📍I was kinda disappointed with how quickly Max managed to have Jessica almost completely subjugated. It took him a month to strip her of her dignity and self-worth. The process was described well, but it felt kinda rush, especially if we take into account how many damn pages this book has.
Just a few weeks, and 23 years of being treated like a human being went out ofthe window her brain? Huh??
Sometimes her submission came off weird due to the fact that more often than not we don't get to hear her secret thoughts at all for many chapters that ensue after Max "breaking her in". No indication of any covert conflict or inner turmoil gave her behavior outlandish quality. No one lives for 23 years as an independent, free American and then turns into a master's little petovernight (okay, overmonth) on such short notice, even with the constant fear or torture looming above them (or so I believe).
Thankfully though, many traumatizing and exhausting chapters later, the author finally threw a bone that left me both relieved and even sadder than I already was.
📍EMOTIONAL ABUSE (blackmail, gaslighting, verbal abuse, isolation, implicit threats, withholding info) VS PHYSICAL ABUSE RATIO IS 3:7, and that's absolutely unacceptable. This man should have made her cry with his words more often because whips, floggers and paddles are for the weak. 😌
He was so good at trauma bonding though. 😍 A real professional. The tingles of fury and admiration erupting down my spine once he fooled her into believing she'd been abandoned and playing on her insecurities. 🌝
📍This crap felt so real, folks. Creepy.
📍The stages of their "relationship" progress was executed exceptionally well in my humble opinion (even if I thought the timing for certain reactions and events was off and Jessica's character wasn't sufficiently fleshed out).
— Max ordered a dark net pimp to kidnap Jessica, an American girl he saw on a train and immediately thought this is it. This is her. My next slave, 😍 and purchased her. For good money. We love a generous man.
His attentions were met with her resistance, both verbal and physical: she attacked him, hit him, tried to run away and name-called the motherfucker like a fierce little minx she initially was.
It's giving ✨prison✨
— he tortured, beat (say hi to canes, floggers and whips 💕), raped, verbally abused, humiliated, kept her chained in a cage and beat her some more: Jessica became more subdued, but occasional sarcasm and name-calling persisted;
— but our Max isn't easily dissuaded: he degraded her for a few days more (love the consistency), and she decided to play a good slave for him for once so that when an opportunity arises, she could take a fucking fly from his helhole of a basement. Still couldn't help mouthing him off from time to time;
— then he left her for a week with his trusted sadistic fellow sex trafficking son of a bitch friend who taught her a lesson in submission with his beautiful collection of torture instruments; 💀
— when Max arrived home, she flew into his open arms, ready to gift him her complete submission, devotion and loyalty. Couple goals; 💕
— no defiant thoughts, no escape plans, no covert resistance shown on page. The author almost doesn't give any glimpse of her thoughts (which I honestly despised. WHERE'S MY ANGST HOE?? I needed a hint that Jessica still harbored some hope for escape and craved it for a little longer. How would that not make sense in her condition?);
— Max's stick-and-carrot method was immaculate. 🤌🏻 A manipulative sonofabitch apparently knows more about trauma bonding than any of us.
Outwardly, Jessica accepted everything and oftentimes she seemed to be genuinely enjoying her time serving Max as a pet;
— apparently, she loves him, he loves her; 🤡
— well...skipping the major spoilers: they end up married with a cute little babygirl. 👩❤️👨🤱🏼
📍 The consensual non-con sex scene that came after their little chase-her-around-the-house game was,
for lack of a better word, hot af. 🤰🏼
📍In my opinion, this is not one of those books that can be DNFed without consequential damages to a reader's capacity to fully grasp the nuances of their relationship. I think each part of the book contributed something vital to the story: be it character development or relationship dynamics.
📍For the most part of the book even the thought of the main characters ending up together had my stomach churning.but then I started rooting for them like a psycho clown that I am
I didn't expect the author to make an example of female empowerment out of the heroine,
(press like if you read books about sex trafficking and slavery for feminism and females that can singlehandedly crush a skull of every rapist and abuser on her way with her bare hands 👍🏻)
but I still hoped that either Max or Jessica would die a horrible death eventually skskskks. 🧍🏼♀️🧍🏼♀️🧍🏼♀️
I really liked the ending, regardless. The heroine was given time to ponder about her life choices (or lack thereof, even if by pure accident) and set her priorities straight, and she did exactly that. For once she was able to make her own decisions, and it was kinda... cute of this unhinged woman to finally allow her heroine a semblance of freedom? 💀✨
I don't know. I'd hate this type of ending in any other dark book, but how can a little ointment on the numerous cuts, burns and stitches really spoil anything? This turn of events proved to be a nice reprieve, which, most importantly, didn't come across as entirely too sappy and outlandish.
I normally am not particularly fond of books where the heroines have to make a first fundamental move in the relationship, but it worked so well here.
If kissing Max's feet, constantly getting scars and bruises, wearing collar, crawling on her hands and knees in front of his friends-that-need-to-be-put-in-jail, giving up on her freedom of will and abandoning human dignity altogether for the sake of dedicating her whole life to doting on some loser's hurt ego and feeding his god's complex on top of occasionally being put in a cage, dragged by a chai and drugged are Jessica's only aspiration in this life, so be it. We're pro- choices over here. 😌
Maybe being treated with respect and as an equel is overrated. Maybe being treated like a human being is overrated. Punto. 💀
I'm not gonna fall into the trap of being a close-minded loser xx🦸🏼♀️🏋🏼♀️
“You deserve pain, bitch,” he told her and then asked between heavy breathing, “I give you food, water, tenderness, and what do I get in return?”
I didn't think I need trigger warnings as a concept at all till this beautifully enlightening day. But to be fair, no amount of trigger warnings would suffice either because this book's a big, fat warning of its own.
“Answer me,” he bit out.
“I’m sorry!” she cried. “I’m sorry!”
“I get sarcasm, and harsh glances, and disrespect,” he snapped. He growled and pulled out of her abruptly. He reached into his pocket for the key to the lock on the cage. After unlocking it he grabbed her by the hips and yanked her out onto the floor. She yelped in surprise, and then again in pain as she hit the concrete floor hard. He rolled her onto her back and crawled on top of her, thrusting back inside of her violently. When he did he gave her a cruel smirk.
“You’re wet, you whore.”
The rage I experienced while reading this book?
Almost cathartic. Some sort of an out-of-body experience. I've not felt that kind of rage in while. Is it healthy? Is it good? Is it bad? It's me.
Every time Maximilian (H) would open his rustydustymusty mouth he caused me a mental fucking seizure
He had every right to her body, what lay between her legs was owed to him as a man. For what other reason was woman put on earth than to serve man?
that would send me straight into the thick of the violent fantasies where I chop him piece by piece unhurriedly with a butcher's knife, making him crawl on his knees, kissing my feet and begging to end the torture.
“No one else cares about you,” he said. “No one else wants you. Outside of these walls you are nothing. You are nothing without me. In here, in the basement with me, serving me and obeying me, you have worth. You’re my good little girl. You understand that don’t you?”
He let go of her hair and she fell down to the floor in front of him. She had no time to relax. “Crawl.”
Slowly, that hard, fat cock slid inside of her. He wasted little time. His hands fisted into her hair, forcing her face down into the carpet, and he fucked her hard. This was her place. This was her life. She was here for this man’s pleasure, and she made him happy. A man that hated women. A man that thought no good woman existed.
She moaned as he continued to fuck her. She cried out. He pushed her face into the carpet harder. He fucked her harder. He pounded her. Like she was an object. Not a human, but a hole to use.
“I wish that you had just asked me out,” she said and there was a flash in his eyes but his face betrayed no anger and she went on. “I wish you could have taught me to be your slave that way.”
“You say that now,” he told her softly and shook his head. “Only because I have taught you the way I have. Normal dating… you would have thought we were equals.”
Cute, very cute. Now SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Max screams justifiable homicide, but you know the worst
Somewhere along the way I stopped hating this sex trafficking serial rapist psycho with mommy issues and sadistic tendencies. 🙁 I know, shocker, right.
And no, the author does not practice sorcery. Nah, Max is not redeemed. Pfff, no, he does not turn into a doting prince charming, either. 😌#Slave_Owner_once_Slave_Owner_Forever💖
My pure hatred slowly transformed into cautious armed neutrality all thanks to all the other male characters that gave my little angel Max a run for his money and made this sex purchasing narcissistic sadist look like a celestial creature personified. Nice move, Miss Author.
God, I'm mentally exhausted just thinking about how his mentally unstable mates drank, bathed and soaked in pure
Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are... this proverb never rang a bell as much as it did in this book.
Meet one of Max's friends, a Doc saving lives by day, raping innocent women and making them swallow his piss by night:
“South Carolina,” he winked at her. “Some beautiful land down there. When I was a boy, I took the girl a few houses over out into the woods. Thought we were just goin’to play a game,” he told her with a chuckle. “Me and another boy, we tied her to a tree out there. First time I ever raped a woman. Not the last a course, but one the sweetest. I can still remember the way she cried.”
Jessica swallowed thickly.
“We were out there for hours. She got awful thirsty, but I had somethin’ for her to drink,” he smiled at her. “How’d my piss taste?”
“It tasted good, doctor,” she answered.
“Told her we’d slit her throat if she said anything. She was a few years younger. Still see her time to time. Never did tell.”
Omgggg I needed this man to die right in front of my eyes, but instead of being wiped off the face of the Earth he's getting his own book?
Might I add that I absolutely hated that creep with pedophilic tendencies and I still can't wrap my head around the fact that Max let this horrendously sleazy and disgusting in his best days guy piss in Jessica's mouth, see her naked, leave blemishes on her skin and rub his cock off her. Weren't beating, humiliation and degradation supposed to be reserved for Max' exclusive enjoyment? Make it make sense. 🤨
Considering how possessive the author made Max out to be, it bugged me the wrong way that he only considered sexual penetration off-limits when it came to his fellow maniacal sadists playing with his human sex pet. He didn't let the creepy Do
Fun fact of the day: yes, in a story that features human trafficking, drugging, rape, beating, humiliation and abuse, I only care that the hero doesn't share his little sex slave. What about it?
Anyway, I can't believe I've waffled so much talking about all these secondary and minor characters while failing to mention
the main characters aka the Holy Trinity of this epic love story:
Misogyny 👍🏻💖💕
Degradation 🤩😍🥰
Dehumanization 😌✨💫
Who are even Max and Jessica in the grand scheme of things? The smallest of cogs in a very large machine that is this book, which boasts male characters that carry the heavy burden of setting women back 100 years on their shoulders. 💪🏻
✨RANDOM THOUGHTS THAT I NEED TO LET OUT TO BE FINALLY RELEASED FROM THE WEIRD SPELL THIS MISOGYNY FEST IS HAVING ME UNDER✨
📍 He is 37 years old yet he still cannot get over his mommy issues and takes it out on each and every woman at his reach? Hmm hello, I have daddy issues so where's my very own male slave so I could vent my frustrations with the use of a paddle to get back at whole male population? 😍😍😍
📍I was kinda disappointed with how quickly Max managed to have Jessica almost completely subjugated. It took him a month to strip her of her dignity and self-worth. The process was described well, but it felt kinda rush, especially if we take into account how many damn pages this book has.
Just a few weeks, and 23 years of being treated like a human being went out of
He considered her a moment.
“Does that disgust you?”
“Women are weak,” she remembered her master saying to her one day. “They can be made to submit.”
Sometimes her submission came off weird due to the fact that more often than not we don't get to hear her secret thoughts at all for many chapters that ensue after Max "breaking her in". No indication of any covert conflict or inner turmoil gave her behavior outlandish quality. No one lives for 23 years as an independent, free American and then turns into a master's little pet
Thankfully though, many traumatizing and exhausting chapters later, the author finally threw a bone that left me both relieved and even sadder than I already was.
Her heart began to race and her hands turned sweaty. It was a weird feeling, hate flickered in her heart for him, a sudden desire to weep. She wanted to go home. She wanted to be in Maryland with her mother and father and her friends. She missed America, and the sun, and walking down the street, and wearing what she wanted, and doing what she wanted and …
She wanted to go see her master. She needed to.
📍EMOTIONAL ABUSE (blackmail, gaslighting, verbal abuse, isolation, implicit threats, withholding info) VS PHYSICAL ABUSE RATIO IS 3:7, and that's absolutely unacceptable. This man should have made her cry with his words more often because whips, floggers and paddles are for the weak. 😌
He was so good at trauma bonding though. 😍 A real professional. The tingles of fury and admiration erupting down my spine once he fooled her into believing she'd been abandoned and playing on her insecurities. 🌝
“This is a delicate phase in her training.” Max’s voice was trembling. He was starting to feel pain radiate in his hand. “She thinks she’s been abandoned. I want it to stay that way.”
📍This crap felt so real, folks. Creepy.
📍The stages of their "relationship" progress was executed exceptionally well in my humble opinion (even if I thought the timing for certain reactions and events was off and Jessica's character wasn't sufficiently fleshed out).
— Max ordered a dark net pimp to kidnap Jessica, an American girl he saw on a train and immediately thought this is it. This is her. My next slave, 😍 and purchased her. For good money. We love a generous man.
His attentions were met with her resistance, both verbal and physical: she attacked him, hit him, tried to run away and name-called the motherfucker like a fierce little minx she initially was.
The moment he heard her laugh and looked up from his newspaper to see her he knew in time, if he was patient, he would have her chained to his dungeon floor with a color around her neck.
It's giving ✨prison✨
— he tortured, beat (say hi to canes, floggers and whips 💕), raped, verbally abused, humiliated, kept her chained in a cage and beat her some more: Jessica became more subdued, but occasional sarcasm and name-calling persisted;
— but our Max isn't easily dissuaded: he degraded her for a few days more (love the consistency), and she decided to play a good slave for him for once so that when an opportunity arises, she could take a fucking fly from his helhole of a basement. Still couldn't help mouthing him off from time to time;
— then he left her for a week with his trusted sadistic fellow sex trafficking son of a bitch friend who taught her a lesson in submission with his beautiful collection of torture instruments; 💀
— when Max arrived home, she flew into his open arms, ready to gift him her complete submission, devotion and loyalty. Couple goals; 💕
— no defiant thoughts, no escape plans, no covert resistance shown on page. The author almost doesn't give any glimpse of her thoughts (which I honestly despised. WHERE'S MY ANGST HOE?? I needed a hint that Jessica still harbored some hope for escape and craved it for a little longer. How would that not make sense in her condition?);
— Max's stick-and-carrot method was immaculate. 🤌🏻 A manipulative sonofabitch apparently knows more about trauma bonding than any of us.
Outwardly, Jessica accepted everything and oftentimes she seemed to be genuinely enjoying her time serving Max as a pet;
— apparently, she loves him, he loves her; 🤡
— well...skipping the major spoilers: they end up married with a cute little babygirl. 👩❤️👨🤱🏼
📍 The consensual non-con sex scene that came after their little chase-her-around-the-house game was,
for lack of a better word, hot af. 🤰🏼
📍In my opinion, this is not one of those books that can be DNFed without consequential damages to a reader's capacity to fully grasp the nuances of their relationship. I think each part of the book contributed something vital to the story: be it character development or relationship dynamics.
📍For the most part of the book even the thought of the main characters ending up together had my stomach churning.
I didn't expect the author to make an example of female empowerment out of the heroine,
(press like if you read books about sex trafficking and slavery for feminism and females that can singlehandedly crush a skull of every rapist and abuser on her way with her bare hands 👍🏻)
but I still hoped that either Max or Jessica would die a horrible death eventually skskskks. 🧍🏼♀️🧍🏼♀️🧍🏼♀️
I really liked the ending, regardless. The heroine was given time to ponder about her life choices (or lack thereof, even if by pure accident) and set her priorities straight, and she did exactly that. For once she was able to make her own decisions, and it was kinda... cute of this unhinged woman to finally allow her heroine a semblance of freedom? 💀✨
I don't know. I'd hate this type of ending in any other dark book, but how can a little ointment on the numerous cuts, burns and stitches really spoil anything? This turn of events proved to be a nice reprieve, which, most importantly, didn't come across as entirely too sappy and outlandish.
I normally am not particularly fond of books where the heroines have to make a first fundamental move in the relationship, but it worked so well here.
If kissing Max's feet, constantly getting scars and bruises, wearing collar, crawling on her hands and knees in front of his friends-that-need-to-be-put-in-jail, giving up on her freedom of will and abandoning human dignity altogether for the sake of dedicating her whole life to doting on some loser's hurt ego and feeding his god's complex on top of occasionally being put in a cage, dragged by a chai and drugged are Jessica's only aspiration in this life, so be it. We're pro- choices over here. 😌
Maybe being treated with respect and as an equel is overrated. Maybe being treated like a human being is overrated. Punto. 💀
I'm not gonna fall into the trap of being a close-minded loser xx🦸🏼♀️🏋🏼♀️
May 19, 2025
Update: This couples guest appearance in ICCHY (Ch. 33) opened up a can of worms all of us DD loyal readers have been desperately wanting for a glimpse into their married life together after their long awaited reencounter!! This new dynamic is even better than the one before (it does not overshadow the original in the slightest)
I need their bonus story asap!! 😫💀🫠😭
2023 review:
The only thing holding me together is that the author might write a sequel or an extended epilogue about their new relationship dynamic. 😅🥹 This is not the darkest book I have read by any means, but it made me realize that I have absolutely no limits or triggers whatsoever when it comes to completely sadistic, morally black and imperfect antihero’s with the proclivity of the domination and ownership of women. 😫👹
My only trigger is if the MMC shares his girl with others, if he cheats on her, or if the FMC is raped or assaulted by OM. 🔪🔪 Well, I’m off to read more from this author and test my tolerance for red flags 🚩 that would definitely stop other from enjoying heavy plot lines,
Let chaos wreck havoc on my dark soul 🖤
I need their bonus story asap!! 😫💀🫠😭
2023 review:
The only thing holding me together is that the author might write a sequel or an extended epilogue about their new relationship dynamic. 😅🥹 This is not the darkest book I have read by any means, but it made me realize that I have absolutely no limits or triggers whatsoever when it comes to completely sadistic, morally black and imperfect antihero’s with the proclivity of the domination and ownership of women. 😫👹
My only trigger is if the MMC shares his girl with others, if he cheats on her, or if the FMC is raped or assaulted by OM. 🔪🔪 Well, I’m off to read more from this author and test my tolerance for red flags 🚩 that would definitely stop other from enjoying heavy plot lines,
Let chaos wreck havoc on my dark soul 🖤
January 9, 2025
3.25 stars
I feel like this deserves a higher rating due to the overall writing style ect. However, this review is based solely off of how much I enjoyed reading the story, as most of my reviews are. It took me a while to read this story, it's just so dark and twisted and I even cried a few times for the FMC (Jessica). It's an intriguing read, but there are a lot of scenes that are hard to read that the MMC (Max) puts the FMC through. This is a DARK captive/captor story, where the villain stays bad and doesn't grovel nor redeem himself.
I think what really lowered the rating for me significantly was the last two chapters and the epilogue. The MMC does something so terrible and violent to the FMC that I got really upset. I'm all for dark stories, but I think my line is extreme abuse/violence/gore. I'm more into dark psychological type captor/captive villain romance type stories. Which Deathsdoll has in her newer story The Community. I like where the villain is a dark, chilling, manipulative, intelligent, psychopath like Father in The Community over the insecure, abusive, sociopathic, man-child that Max is in Bought and Paid For. Like Father would run circles around Max. I like The Community more too because Father hasn't even touched Grace yet, and he already has her totally in his power. Also the suspense and dark angst is just Chef's Kiss, it's still being written but I think it's going to be a five star read for me.
There's not much story to Bought and Paid For it's just pure dark erotica, with one violent s@x scene after the other. Again, this isn't to say that this story isn't well written, there's just not a lot of plot. It's all just dark smut. Which is great if you're looking for dark smut. I like her other stories more like Lassoed Hearts (Historical Bodice Ripper) and The Community (Dark-Cult-Romance) which have more story/plot to them. I also like more mind-games/manipulation over the crazy level of physical and mental abuse that Bought and Paid for has.
One last thing I want to mention is that I had to skim some scenes since they were so violent and fricked up. So take from that what you will.
I really like this author, and she is a really great writer, but this just wasn't my favorite story by her. (Purely due to my preferences)
Here are my ratings for her other stories:
The Community (4.5 - 5 stars) - Work in Progress - regular updates (monthly)
Lassoed Hearts (4 stars) - Completed Work
If I can't have you - (3 stars) - Work in Progress semi-regular updates
Very similar to Bought and Paid For, but it's a half star less for me bc the story starts to majorly drag after the stalker is revealed. Also Chris can go die in a hole. Somehow he's not the most evil character that Deathsdoll has ever written, but man is he the worst (so naturally I wouldn't mind if DD wrote a story just for him). Also seeing Max again made me hope that one day in this book’s universe that he gets hit by several trains. The Community is still my favorite out of all of DDs work, I like slow-burn thrillers though, so that's probably why.
Savage Love - TBR - Unfinished and hasn't been updated in a while
I feel like this deserves a higher rating due to the overall writing style ect. However, this review is based solely off of how much I enjoyed reading the story, as most of my reviews are. It took me a while to read this story, it's just so dark and twisted and I even cried a few times for the FMC (Jessica). It's an intriguing read, but there are a lot of scenes that are hard to read that the MMC (Max) puts the FMC through. This is a DARK captive/captor story, where the villain stays bad and doesn't grovel nor redeem himself.
I think what really lowered the rating for me significantly was the last two chapters and the epilogue. The MMC does something so terrible and violent to the FMC that I got really upset. I'm all for dark stories, but I think my line is extreme abuse/violence/gore. I'm more into dark psychological type captor/captive villain romance type stories. Which Deathsdoll has in her newer story The Community. I like where the villain is a dark, chilling, manipulative, intelligent, psychopath like Father in The Community over the insecure, abusive, sociopathic, man-child that Max is in Bought and Paid For. Like Father would run circles around Max. I like The Community more too because Father hasn't even touched Grace yet, and he already has her totally in his power. Also the suspense and dark angst is just Chef's Kiss, it's still being written but I think it's going to be a five star read for me.
There's not much story to Bought and Paid For it's just pure dark erotica, with one violent s@x scene after the other. Again, this isn't to say that this story isn't well written, there's just not a lot of plot. It's all just dark smut. Which is great if you're looking for dark smut. I like her other stories more like Lassoed Hearts (Historical Bodice Ripper) and The Community (Dark-Cult-Romance) which have more story/plot to them. I also like more mind-games/manipulation over the crazy level of physical and mental abuse that Bought and Paid for has.
One last thing I want to mention is that I had to skim some scenes since they were so violent and fricked up. So take from that what you will.
I really like this author, and she is a really great writer, but this just wasn't my favorite story by her. (Purely due to my preferences)
Here are my ratings for her other stories:
The Community (4.5 - 5 stars) - Work in Progress - regular updates (monthly)
Lassoed Hearts (4 stars) - Completed Work
If I can't have you - (3 stars) - Work in Progress semi-regular updates
Very similar to Bought and Paid For, but it's a half star less for me bc the story starts to majorly drag after the stalker is revealed. Also Chris can go die in a hole. Somehow he's not the most evil character that Deathsdoll has ever written, but man is he the worst (so naturally I wouldn't mind if DD wrote a story just for him). Also seeing Max again made me hope that one day in this book’s universe that he gets hit by several trains. The Community is still my favorite out of all of DDs work, I like slow-burn thrillers though, so that's probably why.
Savage Love - TBR - Unfinished and hasn't been updated in a while
October 4, 2025
To preface this review, this book is incredibly fucked up (in my personal opinion) so please please please take all of my thoughts and opinions with a grain of salt ✨. While I don't have any triggers, this book really made me question that. It's not to say that suddenly I now do, but this book gave me more shock than I would have initially anticipated. Also please be open minded when reading this review. Everyone is always entitled to their own opinions and views of things so don't squash mine and I won't squash yours xx.
First of all this book heavily revolves around the master/slave bdsm dynamic. If that is not your vibe I can assure you that you won’t enjoy this book. This book is heavy and graphic on this dynamic. So if you don’t enjoy this kind of content or aren’t open minded I personally don’t think that this book is worth your time. There is no need to hate read this if this kind of material personally offends you.
I’d been in a reading slump when I originally started this so I had put it on pause but when I picked it up again I could not put it down for the life of me. To add on, I haven’t read anything this dark in a hot minute. And to jump back in why not just entirely (and completely) dive straight into the deepest of the deep end 😖. I think I would categorize this book somewhere in between the realm of dark romance, but also I feel that it somewhat blends into the erotic horror category (based on how realistically horrifying the circumstances were). I don't think I would fully categorize it as erotic horror but I think it definitely had elements of it. When I first finished this book I felt like I was in some kind of genuine shock. I’m writing this review after I’ve settled with my thoughts and have let them marinate. This was truly one of those kinds of books that harshly chokes you by the neck and refuses to let go. I think this was one of the most graphic and fucked up books I’ve read thus far. Even listing all the trigger warnings I don’t think that it properly prepares you for what the storytelling is like and how graphic certain parts are. There were a couple of times where I had to set the book down and just stare at the ceiling for a couple minutes because I just haven’t read something like this. It was also one of those books for me that I didn’t even look at my percentage because I was truly so invested in these characters and the story. Also, in my opinion, if you're going to pick up this book you should really read it all the way through because if you were to dnf it I don’t think that you wouldn't get a proper and true understanding of the type of nuanced relationship that these characters have.
Okay, onto the characters. I believe that both of these characters should be in intensive therapy but if it was only one it would definitely be Max 🤨. I cannot stress the intensity and amount of mommy issues that this man had. Max is not the kind of mmc that you should be cheering or even rooting for. To me this man just gave the general vibe of double homicide jail time ✨😌. The amount of misogyny that this book had was absolutely mind blogging to me. Throughout the entirety of this book I was just in different amounts of shock (repetitively). I was constantly questioning myself; like what the fuck am I even reading at this point. It felt like the worst kind of train wreck but there was absolutely no way to look away.
The entire time while reading this I was absolutely mesmerized by how Deathsdolls wrote not just the story but also their characters, character dynamics, and an unapologetic and deeply flawed mmc. I loved the amount of depth that this story and these characters had. While their dynamic might not be for everyone it worked for them because they are such layered characters. However, I did find myself wanting to know more about the mmc’s inner psyche. To add onto that, in some moments I felt that Jessica’s character could've been more fleshed out. It felt a little weird to me how quickly she gave into being fully submissive with Max. It didn’t feel fully authentic in a way. Like damn I need for angst ho 😔. Also throughout I wished the story delved more into Jessica’s inner thoughts and wondering if people were still looking after her. It felt like she just gave into him and I felt myself wanting a bit more of a push and pull dynamic between the two of them. But in some sort of fucked up way I actually wanted them to end up together. Even after everything that this man did and stood for 🙄. I don’t know how, when or why it happened but somewhere along the way I stopped loathing this man in every scene he was in. No, I certainly do not love this man; I want to make that absolutely clear. But I found myself feeling neutral about him somewhere along halfway through the book. And I definitely found myself questioning myself. Even after reading and somewhat processing the monstrosity that this book was, I couldn’t exactly pinpoint exactly how I feel about this story as a whole. I honestly don’t know how to feel about the fact that I enjoyed the ending; considering most of the other content that this book is surrounded by. And no I do not need to seek therapy as I am already in it for different personal reasons 😌.
In some sadistic way (towards the end) I really was rooting for them to end up together. Even though it's incredibly fucked up, somehow, they both love each other and despite everything they get their happily ever after. How the author managed to make me feel like that is mind boggling to me. After everything this vile man has done, at some point throughout the story I didn't hate him for every scene that he was in. I tolerated/liked him (shocking I know). The author manages to make mostly everybody else in this story so beyond terrible that he sticks out (in a better way than the rest). Nice move 😏. While I wish some parts were different, I'm glad they weren't (in a sadistic way). This story is meant to have heavily dark and immensely complicated/flawed characters. I really must applaud the author because even though my rating for this isn't as high as I wish it could be I can definitely acknowledge that they are a great author. I really liked how in depth that this story went into the character study of each character. I don't think I can articulate exactly what I mean unless you've read this book.
The rage I felt while reading this book? I don’t think the limit exists. I think if I were to somewhat describe it, it would be in the form of insanity ✨. I honestly do think some of these characters deserve a spot in hell. Some scenes genuinely made me feel sick and disgusted. But in other parts I felt the complete opposite. I swear this book felt like I was being manipulated in a way. It honestly felt like I was going crazy in the way that this book actually made me feel somewhat bipolar 💀.
In all honesty (if I’m being candid) towards the end and throughout I did wish these characters would just off themselves. And that might just be a me thing 🙃. This is both very twisted/disturbing and everything in between. Even though a lot pissed me off, I can't deny that it was written incredibly well. I was very shocked how the author makes you somewhat want the 'happy ending' if you can even call it that. Throughout the entirety of this book you really see the mmc for exactly who he is. Do not expect anything about him to change drastically. There is no groveling for the third act conflict and that's the way it probably should be considered how his character is written. I'm pretty sure that this author's specialty is showing the bad guy/mmc stays bad. It is not one of the dark romances that he softens throughout. What you see is what you'll get. I honestly thought the whole third act conflict was scripted and planned (but it wasn’t) and then the time jump felt drastic but it was definitely the most that I was invested in this extremely intense book.
I honestly don’t even really know how to wrap up this review. I really liked how dark and depraved this book was and the amount of depth that these characters had. While some parts were really not my cup of tea I still enjoyed it for the most part. I honestly don’t know what this says about me. Anyways, if you made it here thanks for reading 😭🤍.
Quotes:
“She could soothe him like no one else could.”
“I told you,” he reminded her. “I could be a gentle master or a cruel master.” She sucked on his fingers and his lips parted, eyes heating, as he watched her. “It is entirely up to you. It always has been.”
“It was almost frightening, the crippling need he had for this woman, She made him weak. The thought of losing her threatened to send him into frenzy every time he considered it, and with each passing day, as his love for her grew, it seemed like an ever more likely scenario.”
“Beyond the physical and mental and emotional. He owned her soul and her heart.”
“He held her close to him and breathed into her hair. He was never going to let this girl go. He'd die before she was taken from him. He squeezed her tightly and let his eyes close. He was asleep in moments.”
"No woman deserves you," she answered. "One does," he smiled gently. His eyes were back on her mouth. "One woman, deserves me."
“For some reason, a reason she could not fathom, he only wanted her. Because he's insane, a small part of her whispered deep in the dark recesses of her brain. She didn't care though. She loved him.”
"You never stopped belonging to me," he murmured against her lips. "You're as much mine today as you were the day you left. You realize that, don't you?"
‘She was a disgrace to women. She was weak and feeble, to love him so much. She just wanted him to be proud. She just wanted him to love her no matter what. "Unconditionally," he agreed and she realized she had said that out loud. She looked at him. He had a small smile on his lips. He said very softly, "You know I do." "I don't know what to do," she whispered "Yes you do," he answered. "When is the last time you truly felt safe? Loved. Protected. Have you felt it these past three years away from me? Be honest. Answer me now." She shook her head. "I missed you everyday," she admitted. "Come here," he beckoned again. His voice was soft and tender. "Come here, and let me make everything better."’
“My Jessica. My sweet, perfect Jessica came back to me. Joy like l'd never known. I want you to stay with me, Jessica. If you leave me I'll survive, but I'll be a shell of the man you know. And I can't stop you from leaving me. That tortures me. Do you know how hard it is for me? That I have no control?”
"You love me?" she asked. It was almost a plea. "More than anything," he answered hotly. He pulled her head back further. "When I lost you... I was devastated. Devastated, Jessica. The only woman I could ever love, my perfect girl, gone. Forever."
"You crossed an ocean to be used like this," he said cruelly. He cupped her face and forced her mouth open. He spit into her mouth with a grunt. "Do you know what that makes you?" "Pathetic," she answered on impulse, eyes watering. He shook his head. "Perfect," he corrected. "My perfect slave."
"It's just too good to be true," he said softly. He stroked her cheek. "My girl, back where she belongs.”
“What he saw in her eyes was devotion. His heart fluttered.”
“Her grin brought a level of contentment and warmth to him that he could only derive from her. Nothing on this Earth could bring him out of his tormented darkness the way she could.”
“To those seated in the living room, it was a tender moment between newlyweds very much in love. To them it was much much more than that. It was much more powerful. Much more intense. Sometimes it was overwhelming. It was too much to process. It was too much to handle. Too much to comprehend. And for a few moments, they were the only two people in each other's world. Nothing existed but them, together in their own little world. And soon, they'd have a beautiful little girl to show for it, the very best of him and the very best of her. And though it might have been for different reasons, in the end, that was all the other really wanted.”
Some vibes of how I felt throughout this book:
^some gifs won’t load on mobile view on a browser if you want to see more 😝
~
truly, this was the most unhinged book i’ve read so far. i need a bit of time to gather my many, many erratic thoughts and let this marinate. rtc
First of all this book heavily revolves around the master/slave bdsm dynamic. If that is not your vibe I can assure you that you won’t enjoy this book. This book is heavy and graphic on this dynamic. So if you don’t enjoy this kind of content or aren’t open minded I personally don’t think that this book is worth your time. There is no need to hate read this if this kind of material personally offends you.
I’d been in a reading slump when I originally started this so I had put it on pause but when I picked it up again I could not put it down for the life of me. To add on, I haven’t read anything this dark in a hot minute. And to jump back in why not just entirely (and completely) dive straight into the deepest of the deep end 😖. I think I would categorize this book somewhere in between the realm of dark romance, but also I feel that it somewhat blends into the erotic horror category (based on how realistically horrifying the circumstances were). I don't think I would fully categorize it as erotic horror but I think it definitely had elements of it. When I first finished this book I felt like I was in some kind of genuine shock. I’m writing this review after I’ve settled with my thoughts and have let them marinate. This was truly one of those kinds of books that harshly chokes you by the neck and refuses to let go. I think this was one of the most graphic and fucked up books I’ve read thus far. Even listing all the trigger warnings I don’t think that it properly prepares you for what the storytelling is like and how graphic certain parts are. There were a couple of times where I had to set the book down and just stare at the ceiling for a couple minutes because I just haven’t read something like this. It was also one of those books for me that I didn’t even look at my percentage because I was truly so invested in these characters and the story. Also, in my opinion, if you're going to pick up this book you should really read it all the way through because if you were to dnf it I don’t think that you wouldn't get a proper and true understanding of the type of nuanced relationship that these characters have.
Okay, onto the characters. I believe that both of these characters should be in intensive therapy but if it was only one it would definitely be Max 🤨. I cannot stress the intensity and amount of mommy issues that this man had. Max is not the kind of mmc that you should be cheering or even rooting for. To me this man just gave the general vibe of double homicide jail time ✨😌. The amount of misogyny that this book had was absolutely mind blogging to me. Throughout the entirety of this book I was just in different amounts of shock (repetitively). I was constantly questioning myself; like what the fuck am I even reading at this point. It felt like the worst kind of train wreck but there was absolutely no way to look away.
The entire time while reading this I was absolutely mesmerized by how Deathsdolls wrote not just the story but also their characters, character dynamics, and an unapologetic and deeply flawed mmc. I loved the amount of depth that this story and these characters had. While their dynamic might not be for everyone it worked for them because they are such layered characters. However, I did find myself wanting to know more about the mmc’s inner psyche. To add onto that, in some moments I felt that Jessica’s character could've been more fleshed out. It felt a little weird to me how quickly she gave into being fully submissive with Max. It didn’t feel fully authentic in a way. Like damn I need for angst ho 😔. Also throughout I wished the story delved more into Jessica’s inner thoughts and wondering if people were still looking after her. It felt like she just gave into him and I felt myself wanting a bit more of a push and pull dynamic between the two of them. But in some sort of fucked up way I actually wanted them to end up together. Even after everything that this man did and stood for 🙄. I don’t know how, when or why it happened but somewhere along the way I stopped loathing this man in every scene he was in. No, I certainly do not love this man; I want to make that absolutely clear. But I found myself feeling neutral about him somewhere along halfway through the book. And I definitely found myself questioning myself. Even after reading and somewhat processing the monstrosity that this book was, I couldn’t exactly pinpoint exactly how I feel about this story as a whole. I honestly don’t know how to feel about the fact that I enjoyed the ending; considering most of the other content that this book is surrounded by. And no I do not need to seek therapy as I am already in it for different personal reasons 😌.
In some sadistic way (towards the end) I really was rooting for them to end up together. Even though it's incredibly fucked up, somehow, they both love each other and despite everything they get their happily ever after. How the author managed to make me feel like that is mind boggling to me. After everything this vile man has done, at some point throughout the story I didn't hate him for every scene that he was in. I tolerated/liked him (shocking I know). The author manages to make mostly everybody else in this story so beyond terrible that he sticks out (in a better way than the rest). Nice move 😏. While I wish some parts were different, I'm glad they weren't (in a sadistic way). This story is meant to have heavily dark and immensely complicated/flawed characters. I really must applaud the author because even though my rating for this isn't as high as I wish it could be I can definitely acknowledge that they are a great author. I really liked how in depth that this story went into the character study of each character. I don't think I can articulate exactly what I mean unless you've read this book.
The rage I felt while reading this book? I don’t think the limit exists. I think if I were to somewhat describe it, it would be in the form of insanity ✨. I honestly do think some of these characters deserve a spot in hell. Some scenes genuinely made me feel sick and disgusted. But in other parts I felt the complete opposite. I swear this book felt like I was being manipulated in a way. It honestly felt like I was going crazy in the way that this book actually made me feel somewhat bipolar 💀.
In all honesty (if I’m being candid) towards the end and throughout I did wish these characters would just off themselves. And that might just be a me thing 🙃. This is both very twisted/disturbing and everything in between. Even though a lot pissed me off, I can't deny that it was written incredibly well. I was very shocked how the author makes you somewhat want the 'happy ending' if you can even call it that. Throughout the entirety of this book you really see the mmc for exactly who he is. Do not expect anything about him to change drastically. There is no groveling for the third act conflict and that's the way it probably should be considered how his character is written. I'm pretty sure that this author's specialty is showing the bad guy/mmc stays bad. It is not one of the dark romances that he softens throughout. What you see is what you'll get. I honestly thought the whole third act conflict was scripted and planned (but it wasn’t) and then the time jump felt drastic but it was definitely the most that I was invested in this extremely intense book.
I honestly don’t even really know how to wrap up this review. I really liked how dark and depraved this book was and the amount of depth that these characters had. While some parts were really not my cup of tea I still enjoyed it for the most part. I honestly don’t know what this says about me. Anyways, if you made it here thanks for reading 😭🤍.
Quotes:
“She could soothe him like no one else could.”
“I told you,” he reminded her. “I could be a gentle master or a cruel master.” She sucked on his fingers and his lips parted, eyes heating, as he watched her. “It is entirely up to you. It always has been.”
“It was almost frightening, the crippling need he had for this woman, She made him weak. The thought of losing her threatened to send him into frenzy every time he considered it, and with each passing day, as his love for her grew, it seemed like an ever more likely scenario.”
“Beyond the physical and mental and emotional. He owned her soul and her heart.”
“He held her close to him and breathed into her hair. He was never going to let this girl go. He'd die before she was taken from him. He squeezed her tightly and let his eyes close. He was asleep in moments.”
"No woman deserves you," she answered. "One does," he smiled gently. His eyes were back on her mouth. "One woman, deserves me."
“For some reason, a reason she could not fathom, he only wanted her. Because he's insane, a small part of her whispered deep in the dark recesses of her brain. She didn't care though. She loved him.”
"You never stopped belonging to me," he murmured against her lips. "You're as much mine today as you were the day you left. You realize that, don't you?"
‘She was a disgrace to women. She was weak and feeble, to love him so much. She just wanted him to be proud. She just wanted him to love her no matter what. "Unconditionally," he agreed and she realized she had said that out loud. She looked at him. He had a small smile on his lips. He said very softly, "You know I do." "I don't know what to do," she whispered "Yes you do," he answered. "When is the last time you truly felt safe? Loved. Protected. Have you felt it these past three years away from me? Be honest. Answer me now." She shook her head. "I missed you everyday," she admitted. "Come here," he beckoned again. His voice was soft and tender. "Come here, and let me make everything better."’
“My Jessica. My sweet, perfect Jessica came back to me. Joy like l'd never known. I want you to stay with me, Jessica. If you leave me I'll survive, but I'll be a shell of the man you know. And I can't stop you from leaving me. That tortures me. Do you know how hard it is for me? That I have no control?”
"You love me?" she asked. It was almost a plea. "More than anything," he answered hotly. He pulled her head back further. "When I lost you... I was devastated. Devastated, Jessica. The only woman I could ever love, my perfect girl, gone. Forever."
"You crossed an ocean to be used like this," he said cruelly. He cupped her face and forced her mouth open. He spit into her mouth with a grunt. "Do you know what that makes you?" "Pathetic," she answered on impulse, eyes watering. He shook his head. "Perfect," he corrected. "My perfect slave."
"It's just too good to be true," he said softly. He stroked her cheek. "My girl, back where she belongs.”
“What he saw in her eyes was devotion. His heart fluttered.”
“Her grin brought a level of contentment and warmth to him that he could only derive from her. Nothing on this Earth could bring him out of his tormented darkness the way she could.”
“To those seated in the living room, it was a tender moment between newlyweds very much in love. To them it was much much more than that. It was much more powerful. Much more intense. Sometimes it was overwhelming. It was too much to process. It was too much to handle. Too much to comprehend. And for a few moments, they were the only two people in each other's world. Nothing existed but them, together in their own little world. And soon, they'd have a beautiful little girl to show for it, the very best of him and the very best of her. And though it might have been for different reasons, in the end, that was all the other really wanted.”
Some vibes of how I felt throughout this book:
^some gifs won’t load on mobile view on a browser if you want to see more 😝
~
truly, this was the most unhinged book i’ve read so far. i need a bit of time to gather my many, many erratic thoughts and let this marinate. rtc
August 17, 2022
I love everything this author writes, no matter how depraved. This is a perfect example of something that was definitely too dark for me and yet I couldn't look away. I am so utterly mesmerised by her writing style, her characterisation, her unapologetically sadistic and flawed male leads.
There are a few scenes in this fic that I couldn't even read fully the first time and there are other scenes that I have read innumerable times. This is not even my personal favourite fic by her but I still adore it so much. I think I have read everything this author has written and posted online. She is a genius and I hope she never stops writing because I will never stop reading.
There are a few scenes in this fic that I couldn't even read fully the first time and there are other scenes that I have read innumerable times. This is not even my personal favourite fic by her but I still adore it so much. I think I have read everything this author has written and posted online. She is a genius and I hope she never stops writing because I will never stop reading.
dark-romance
January 12, 2024I have not read this yet but if you like dark reads without a lot of fluff checkout DeathsDoll on Archive of Our Own. I highly recommend The Community. It is not a finished work but wow so intense. Why spend money on Amazon when you have an amazing author on Archive of Our Own. So hop over there and look up Deathsdoll. She's amazing and has a huge following because people are tired of boring Kindle Unlimited. The Community is tense and dark. It's a slow burn but wow. So good. This is kind of like Ritual Sins but the intensity is so much better. Oh and the character development is incredible. The author keeps you guessing guessing and on the edge. Note: Not a finished work but hey that's how fanfic is. She doesn't post chapters fast enough for me but wow she is worth the wait.
December 30, 2024
This book was absolutely horrifying- and like a lot of the work on Ao3 was refreshingly unapologetic: which made it such an interesting and successful read.
I have so many thoughts about this book, and not nearly enough time to write them down 😭 but this was truly an ✨experience✨ (yes I will be seeking therapy x).
Anyways Max was literally my worst nightmare personified- SOMEONE TAKE HIM OUTTT.
I have so many thoughts about this book, and not nearly enough time to write them down 😭 but this was truly an ✨experience✨ (yes I will be seeking therapy x).
Anyways Max was literally my worst nightmare personified- SOMEONE TAKE HIM OUTTT.
February 21, 2025
This shit was like my fav non con + TCPF wrapped up in gorgeous wrapping paper with glue and sticky paper stuck everywhere haphazardly🤓. UGHHH max the man that you are. No matter what, still LOVE. The author saying all those warnings like “not a feminist ending, i understand if you hate max”when i was here hoping she just wouldn’t ease up on the darkness’s. FYI she delivered in every way 😃
This book made me question my solidity in whether i would really agree in a heartbeat if asked to be made into a slave like this lmaoooo. This shit is too far for me i think. I’ll be so happy with tcpf though ☺️TAKESHI WHERE ARE ZOU PLSSSSSSS PLSSSSPSLLSPSLSLSLSLSL I NEED YOU BABY I NEED YOUUUUUUU idk if a book boyfriend can beat him at this point. I will be so mad if amazon doesn’t still make paperbacks for that book in a few years bc that’s the earliest i can buy it.
Off to read a bianca howards s book after crying my heart out to as good as dead!
Thank goodness i discovered this after it was fully released, the years between chapters would have made my eye twitch. Didn’t stunt her fluidity surprisingly,
This book made me question my solidity in whether i would really agree in a heartbeat if asked to be made into a slave like this lmaoooo. This shit is too far for me i think. I’ll be so happy with tcpf though ☺️TAKESHI WHERE ARE ZOU PLSSSSSSS PLSSSSPSLLSPSLSLSLSLSL I NEED YOU BABY I NEED YOUUUUUUU idk if a book boyfriend can beat him at this point. I will be so mad if amazon doesn’t still make paperbacks for that book in a few years bc that’s the earliest i can buy it.
Off to read a bianca howards s book after crying my heart out to as good as dead!
Thank goodness i discovered this after it was fully released, the years between chapters would have made my eye twitch. Didn’t stunt her fluidity surprisingly,
Read
February 28, 2025It's like Captive in the Dark with better writing.
Maybe I just really dislike the "trafficked on the black market as a slave" trope
Anyway this one was a dnf, the MMC is very insecure emotionally and it's the kind of pathetic I don't appreciate.
Listening to him going off about how he "doesn't just sell software" and how he's a big important CFO because his fragile ego can't take his annoying in-laws .... I know so many guys like that. Oh, baby boy is proud of his job? Stfu about it, NO ONE wants to hear it
Maybe I just really dislike the "trafficked on the black market as a slave" trope
Anyway this one was a dnf, the MMC is very insecure emotionally and it's the kind of pathetic I don't appreciate.
Listening to him going off about how he "doesn't just sell software" and how he's a big important CFO because his fragile ego can't take his annoying in-laws .... I know so many guys like that. Oh, baby boy is proud of his job? Stfu about it, NO ONE wants to hear it
August 31, 2024
Where do I even start with this monstrosity!
Out of everything I’ve ever read this has to be one of the darkest, most vile train-wrecks I’ve come across so naturally I couldn’t look away.
Aside from content this is also written really well in terms description and conveying emotion (much better than a lot of actually published work I have read).
This would have been 5 stars but due to the sheer, undeserved violence Max was quite happy to dish out on Jessica and his insecure, mood swings: I couldn’t really get right into it.
Although the first half of the story was near perfection and I will not be forgetting it anytime soon!
Out of everything I’ve ever read this has to be one of the darkest, most vile train-wrecks I’ve come across so naturally I couldn’t look away.
Aside from content this is also written really well in terms description and conveying emotion (much better than a lot of actually published work I have read).
This would have been 5 stars but due to the sheer, undeserved violence Max was quite happy to dish out on Jessica and his insecure, mood swings: I couldn’t really get right into it.
Although the first half of the story was near perfection and I will not be forgetting it anytime soon!
August 2, 2025
4⭐️
YEEHAWWWW😩❤️
YEEHAWWWW😩❤️
February 17, 2024
Oh. My. God. This was intense. Honestly binge reading this was true horrible idea. I... It broke me. I'm broken. I wish it was edited more in the way of being a book and less fanfic, but it didn't take away from the story. ❤️ I hate Max like omg. I truly do. The part when they went to Hungary was so so intense and it made me cry how he explained that's he truly has no choice. Ah. This was something. Thank you for writing it
August 21, 2024
Good but felt very long reading
Want to read
May 26, 2025Max is a complete misogynist, and I low-key don't like him from IICHY, but I'll try this out. I'm aware there are some things I normally avoid in romance in this novel, like🤢 sharing( which makes little sense in a dark romance novel because toxic possessiveness doesn't mesh with this trope to me,) but I'm more reading his because I love the authors talent at writing than anything.
Edit: I got 75% done and can't continue. I just skimmed to the end.
I was right. There is no redeeming quality in Max.
The man is a through and through sadist and misogynist. The only end he deserves is being jailed and then burning in hell😇
A rundown down of every horror he does to Jessica.
He kidnapped her special, has a hair trigger temper, takes everything she does as disrespectful just so he can punish her, constantly degrades her as an animal, (makes her eat of the floor and sleep in a tiny cage) who isn't worth anything for the simple fact she's a woman and I quote " women's only purpose is to pleasure men" beats the shit out of her even when she obeys him because he gets off on it, let's his friends( who I might add are also complete scum who he claims to love, which is a questionable statement in itself) humiliate Jessica, piss on her and in her mouth, beat her to hell and back, and treat her like an object, mind you this is all when he claimed to love her for the most part. I'm making it much worse in my book.
I found the scene when he made her apologize for his friend beating and terrorizing her a week, making her think she was going to be gangr*ped to break her hard to stomach.
He also gaslights her into thinking her parents don't love her to control her and make her think she only had him among other lies.
I'm ripping into the heroine also.
I found I lost all respect for Jessica after the Stockholm syndrome set in, and she took anything he gave her for a scrap of attention. She crawls and kisses this mans feet, worshiping him 🤮. This girl takes tstl to a whole new level after she got away for three years. She was still having nightmares of the torture she endured and still went back to that disgusting man.
The ending was horrifying in the way she took him back, and he committed the worst beating on her in the whole book to show his sick devotion to her.
I don't like the way his childhood was used to explain his hatred of women because his mother left him either. Like poor baby, I'm playing the tiniest violin for you after beating the heroine up for the twentieth time and psychologically torturing her for weeks.
It was sad that they had any children together with their sick dynamic, especially a girl with his thoughts on women. This man will sell her in an arranged marriage.
I can't believe this is the same author who wrote If I can't have you, because that was a fluffy romance in comparison to this novel and Caleb did some pretty messed up things but at least he really loves and repects orla. He'd never do what Max did to Jessica in a million years.
This is definitely not a love story. It's just a sad tale of an abused woman who got Stockholm syndrome for her tormentor.
I think I'm finding what I can tolerate in dark fiction and the treatment of the heroine in this is my bottom line. I wouldn't care if I loved a man nothing would be worth this relationship.
This isn't to say I don't love this authors works, Iichy and the community are god tier novels for me and they have much more developed plots than this particular story does with romances that really hit my kinks. Also, authors can't hit gold everytime but as this was one of her first finished public works I give her some leeway. I'll probably avoid novels she writes if she does further s*x trafficking stories, especially ones with a bdsm dynamic because I just don't gel with it.
Edit: I got 75% done and can't continue. I just skimmed to the end.
I was right. There is no redeeming quality in Max.
The man is a through and through sadist and misogynist. The only end he deserves is being jailed and then burning in hell😇
A rundown down of every horror he does to Jessica.
He kidnapped her special, has a hair trigger temper, takes everything she does as disrespectful just so he can punish her, constantly degrades her as an animal, (makes her eat of the floor and sleep in a tiny cage) who isn't worth anything for the simple fact she's a woman and I quote " women's only purpose is to pleasure men" beats the shit out of her even when she obeys him because he gets off on it, let's his friends( who I might add are also complete scum who he claims to love, which is a questionable statement in itself) humiliate Jessica, piss on her and in her mouth, beat her to hell and back, and treat her like an object, mind you this is all when he claimed to love her for the most part. I'm making it much worse in my book.
I found the scene when he made her apologize for his friend beating and terrorizing her a week, making her think she was going to be gangr*ped to break her hard to stomach.
He also gaslights her into thinking her parents don't love her to control her and make her think she only had him among other lies.
I'm ripping into the heroine also.
I found I lost all respect for Jessica after the Stockholm syndrome set in, and she took anything he gave her for a scrap of attention. She crawls and kisses this mans feet, worshiping him 🤮. This girl takes tstl to a whole new level after she got away for three years. She was still having nightmares of the torture she endured and still went back to that disgusting man.
The ending was horrifying in the way she took him back, and he committed the worst beating on her in the whole book to show his sick devotion to her.
I don't like the way his childhood was used to explain his hatred of women because his mother left him either. Like poor baby, I'm playing the tiniest violin for you after beating the heroine up for the twentieth time and psychologically torturing her for weeks.
It was sad that they had any children together with their sick dynamic, especially a girl with his thoughts on women. This man will sell her in an arranged marriage.
I can't believe this is the same author who wrote If I can't have you, because that was a fluffy romance in comparison to this novel and Caleb did some pretty messed up things but at least he really loves and repects orla. He'd never do what Max did to Jessica in a million years.
This is definitely not a love story. It's just a sad tale of an abused woman who got Stockholm syndrome for her tormentor.
I think I'm finding what I can tolerate in dark fiction and the treatment of the heroine in this is my bottom line. I wouldn't care if I loved a man nothing would be worth this relationship.
This isn't to say I don't love this authors works, Iichy and the community are god tier novels for me and they have much more developed plots than this particular story does with romances that really hit my kinks. Also, authors can't hit gold everytime but as this was one of her first finished public works I give her some leeway. I'll probably avoid novels she writes if she does further s*x trafficking stories, especially ones with a bdsm dynamic because I just don't gel with it.
April 17, 2023
Ok, this is the thing I read that messed me up, didn't realize it had a goodreads entry. It was good/well written (by fic standards) enough that I binged it, but also frustrating/gross* enough that I then had to purge it out of my mind through basically rewriting the story in my mind and refusing to ever reread the original.
*Why gross?
* The MMC's origin story/character is that he's basically an Andrew Tate style misogynist bc his mom left his dad; his constant rants about how it's women's place to be slaves are extremely offputting and the heroine is too stupid to actually understand/fight back against any of his frankly weak arguments?? This is the grossest part, the incel ideology in all the mindgames. It's gross and also it's unattractive
* A lot of things that I can tell are this author's cup of tea but REALLY aren't mine, like: being told you're perfect/a good girl, neither you/your partner can ever FUCK anyone else but being HUMILIATED by other slimy gross dudes is totally fine??, 24/7 master/slave dynamic (which tbh from reading this I'm actually starting to think cannot ever be done ethically), being forced to repeat insipid little lines during s*x
* Some things that ARE my cup of tea but just aren't executed believably, like: being special, except literally WHAT is special about the heroine? She's naturally submissive?? That's IT; she's also completely TSTL and uninteresting and easily manipulated, and the ending is just not believable at all; realistically, what would happen is that the MMC would cycle through her like all the others once the honeymoon period wore off
Strong points -- some of the sex scenes are actually quite hot, separate from the scaffolding of what the relationship is like (and some of the s*x talk). Not sure if intentional, but the way the MMC tells himself that he just wants women to submit and then it'll be enough, but it clearly ISN'T and he finds excuses to be angry and clearly by the end needs to escalate in a totally unsustainable fashion to get the same high as early on is psychologically rather interesting/believable.
The bones of this thing are solid (especially compared to the published books in this genre which I sought out afterwards -- the bar is low). But the flesh is rotten.
*Why gross?
* The MMC's origin story/character is that he's basically an Andrew Tate style misogynist bc his mom left his dad; his constant rants about how it's women's place to be slaves are extremely offputting and the heroine is too stupid to actually understand/fight back against any of his frankly weak arguments?? This is the grossest part, the incel ideology in all the mindgames. It's gross and also it's unattractive
* A lot of things that I can tell are this author's cup of tea but REALLY aren't mine, like: being told you're perfect/a good girl, neither you/your partner can ever FUCK anyone else but being HUMILIATED by other slimy gross dudes is totally fine??, 24/7 master/slave dynamic (which tbh from reading this I'm actually starting to think cannot ever be done ethically), being forced to repeat insipid little lines during s*x
* Some things that ARE my cup of tea but just aren't executed believably, like: being special, except literally WHAT is special about the heroine? She's naturally submissive?? That's IT; she's also completely TSTL and uninteresting and easily manipulated, and the ending is just not believable at all; realistically, what would happen is that the MMC would cycle through her like all the others once the honeymoon period wore off
Strong points -- some of the sex scenes are actually quite hot, separate from the scaffolding of what the relationship is like (and some of the s*x talk). Not sure if intentional, but the way the MMC tells himself that he just wants women to submit and then it'll be enough, but it clearly ISN'T and he finds excuses to be angry and clearly by the end needs to escalate in a totally unsustainable fashion to get the same high as early on is psychologically rather interesting/believable.
The bones of this thing are solid (especially compared to the published books in this genre which I sought out afterwards -- the bar is low). But the flesh is rotten.
August 11, 2025
My, my, my… what did I just read! Big warning: this is real DR. You have to have the stomach to read this one.
It’s not for everyone, because it feels so real that you might sometimes want to put it down. But you can’t; it’s too good to DNF! It’s a powerful, high-quality work, with incredibly well-developed characters.
Spoiler alert!
This book is a perfect portrayal of Stockholm syndrome: Jessica’s total brainwashing and the heartbreaking difficulty, even after three years away from the MMC, for social services, her family, friends, and everyone around her to break her free from his grip. She (yes, it's her alone) will even put some effort into contacting him, going back to him, taking more damage (both emotional and physical) and eventually deciding to stay (if you can even call it her decision).
And this MMC? Maximilian Furst: absolutely horrible, detestable, and almost evil ("almost" because this is obviously not just a plain evil person). Deathsdoll’s characters have deeply explored psychology: you get into Maximilian's very twisted mind, which makes you understand why he does what he does and how he was built (or rather, misbuilt) into what he is.
I despised him with all my heart.
But I still absolutely loved their effing, very messed-up story.
Eventually, it ends with a HEA, if you can call it that...
It’s not for everyone, because it feels so real that you might sometimes want to put it down. But you can’t; it’s too good to DNF! It’s a powerful, high-quality work, with incredibly well-developed characters.
Spoiler alert!
This book is a perfect portrayal of Stockholm syndrome: Jessica’s total brainwashing and the heartbreaking difficulty, even after three years away from the MMC, for social services, her family, friends, and everyone around her to break her free from his grip. She (yes, it's her alone) will even put some effort into contacting him, going back to him, taking more damage (both emotional and physical) and eventually deciding to stay (if you can even call it her decision).
And this MMC? Maximilian Furst: absolutely horrible, detestable, and almost evil ("almost" because this is obviously not just a plain evil person). Deathsdoll’s characters have deeply explored psychology: you get into Maximilian's very twisted mind, which makes you understand why he does what he does and how he was built (or rather, misbuilt) into what he is.
I despised him with all my heart.
But I still absolutely loved their effing, very messed-up story.
Eventually, it ends with a HEA, if you can call it that...
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 20, 2025
اوكي ، قريت هذا قبل كم شهر وسوالي صدمه لمدة وحتى خلاني اكره الدارك رومانس من هالنوع
اول شي اكوله ان ماكسميليان حثالة بشرية
يعني من اسوأ الMC الي قاريتهن ، اي حب بداخله لجيسيكا ماكو
يعني لمن بديت بهذا بديته على توقعات چبيرة بناءًا على الذكر مالتهم بIICHY
من زمان جنت اشوف الرواية واقرا ملخصها والتاگات واخاف ادخلها واعيفها وياريتني باقيه عايفتها 😂 ابد ما اسيء للكاتبة بالعكس احب كتاباتها اغلبهن (باستثناء مالت اليوت obviously)
جان عبالي راح يلين ويه الوقت يكوم يخاف عليها يحميها ، يعني يضل نذل بس لا يشاركها! لا يخلي اليوت يسوي الي سواه بيها ، ولا الي صار لمن راحوا ويه هذولاك اصدقائه
عفتها لمن وصلت للفصل الي سمح لاليوت ياخذ جيسيكا للقبو ، i was so done يعني وأي امل عندي بأن تتحسن انتهى وبعدين رحت للنهاية الي حرگت دمي اكثر
البرو ما اهتم اصلًا لمن راحت وهذا اكبر دليل على انه ما يحبها ، مجرد جان يمتلكها وضوجته جانت عبالك فد حيوان اليف وشرد مو شخص كان مرتبط بيه عاطفيًا
وبعدين استقباله الها لمن الغبيه رجعتله 💀 ياخي ماله حل هالرجال
حتى جيسيكا اكرهها كلش بالمناسبة ، غبيه وضعيفه بشكل يعني مال واحد هي وماكس ثنينهم يحطهم ويذبهم بالشط
احب اتخيل براسي نهايتهم اما ما ترجعله ابد وتتعالج وتعيش ، او تبلغ عنه هو وربعه وتنقذ باقي البنات وطبهم مرض 👍
اول شي اكوله ان ماكسميليان حثالة بشرية
يعني من اسوأ الMC الي قاريتهن ، اي حب بداخله لجيسيكا ماكو
يعني لمن بديت بهذا بديته على توقعات چبيرة بناءًا على الذكر مالتهم بIICHY
من زمان جنت اشوف الرواية واقرا ملخصها والتاگات واخاف ادخلها واعيفها وياريتني باقيه عايفتها 😂 ابد ما اسيء للكاتبة بالعكس احب كتاباتها اغلبهن (باستثناء مالت اليوت obviously)
جان عبالي راح يلين ويه الوقت يكوم يخاف عليها يحميها ، يعني يضل نذل بس لا يشاركها! لا يخلي اليوت يسوي الي سواه بيها ، ولا الي صار لمن راحوا ويه هذولاك اصدقائه
عفتها لمن وصلت للفصل الي سمح لاليوت ياخذ جيسيكا للقبو ، i was so done يعني وأي امل عندي بأن تتحسن انتهى وبعدين رحت للنهاية الي حرگت دمي اكثر
البرو ما اهتم اصلًا لمن راحت وهذا اكبر دليل على انه ما يحبها ، مجرد جان يمتلكها وضوجته جانت عبالك فد حيوان اليف وشرد مو شخص كان مرتبط بيه عاطفيًا
وبعدين استقباله الها لمن الغبيه رجعتله 💀 ياخي ماله حل هالرجال
حتى جيسيكا اكرهها كلش بالمناسبة ، غبيه وضعيفه بشكل يعني مال واحد هي وماكس ثنينهم يحطهم ويذبهم بالشط
احب اتخيل براسي نهايتهم اما ما ترجعله ابد وتتعالج وتعيش ، او تبلغ عنه هو وربعه وتنقذ باقي البنات وطبهم مرض 👍
March 2, 2025
I read this book after I read ‘if I can’t have you’.
The reason this is 4 starts is because I preferred the other book just because I felt I had more of a connection with the characters.
This book was dark, I had to take small breaks from
Reading just to have a breather! I haven’t had a book like this in a long while.
I enjoyed max and Jessica…. I felt like there would be more of the story from when they had their break and I’m not even sure how I thought that happened but it was les dramatic than I thought!
I did wonder if he did it on purpose to teach her a lesson so that was little disappointing because it was very unlike Max to just let her go.
Definitely can’t wait to read more by this author!
The reason this is 4 starts is because I preferred the other book just because I felt I had more of a connection with the characters.
This book was dark, I had to take small breaks from
Reading just to have a breather! I haven’t had a book like this in a long while.
I enjoyed max and Jessica…. I felt like there would be more of the story from when they had their break and I’m not even sure how I thought that happened but it was les dramatic than I thought!
I did wonder if he did it on purpose to teach her a lesson so that was little disappointing because it was very unlike Max to just let her go.
Definitely can’t wait to read more by this author!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 28, 2025
I ate this shyt up and the author left no crumbs 🔥💅
Plot, characters, character development, sex, everything was immaculately written 😻😻
This was my first time reading anything from AO3 and the author, Deathsdoll, did not disappoint 🤓🥰
✨✨✨✨ TROPES ✨✨✨✨
Age gap (23 & 36) 👩❤️👨
⚠️ Rape warning ⚠️
Spanking, caning, paddles, whips, & cages kink 🐕🐶
Humiliation/power dynamic relationship 👨💼👩💼
NO SHARING OR OW/OM drama 🎭
Spitting/peeing on FMC 🤭
Kidnapping trope 🙊
Gaslighting 😳
Sum/dom 🧎♀️🧎♀️
Noncon/dubcon 😬
Possessive/obsesssive MMC. 😪
Time jump/separation for 3 yrs (27 & 41) ⏰
Pregnancy trope 🤰
Author if you are reading this pls make this book into a series for the other couples in this book like Elias and Katerina, Tarik and Ruslana, and Aleksandr and Elena!!🥺
Plot, characters, character development, sex, everything was immaculately written 😻😻
This was my first time reading anything from AO3 and the author, Deathsdoll, did not disappoint 🤓🥰
✨✨✨✨ TROPES ✨✨✨✨
Age gap (23 & 36) 👩❤️👨
⚠️ Rape warning ⚠️
Spanking, caning, paddles, whips, & cages kink 🐕🐶
Humiliation/power dynamic relationship 👨💼👩💼
NO SHARING OR OW/OM drama 🎭
Spitting/peeing on FMC 🤭
Kidnapping trope 🙊
Gaslighting 😳
Sum/dom 🧎♀️🧎♀️
Noncon/dubcon 😬
Possessive/obsesssive MMC. 😪
Time jump/separation for 3 yrs (27 & 41) ⏰
Pregnancy trope 🤰
Author if you are reading this pls make this book into a series for the other couples in this book like Elias and Katerina, Tarik and Ruslana, and Aleksandr and Elena!!🥺
March 24, 2025
Didn't love the story.
The FMC just completely falls in love with the kidnapper, and becomes a mindless pathetic zombie.
Didn't like that the MMC either, because he was happy to share her, and for other men to beat her up, when he's supposed to be in love with her...
I kept waiting for the plot to get better, for something to happen, maybe a cheeky plot twist, but nothing. Once she's brainwashed and in love with him, it's very repetitive, and I stopped reading like 70% into the story.
I'd recommend maybe starting the story, but once it starts getting boring you can stop, trust me it does not get better.
The FMC just completely falls in love with the kidnapper, and becomes a mindless pathetic zombie.
Didn't like that the MMC either, because he was happy to share her, and for other men to beat her up, when he's supposed to be in love with her...
I kept waiting for the plot to get better, for something to happen, maybe a cheeky plot twist, but nothing. Once she's brainwashed and in love with him, it's very repetitive, and I stopped reading like 70% into the story.
I'd recommend maybe starting the story, but once it starts getting boring you can stop, trust me it does not get better.
February 8, 2024
Did I tag it 'darkish-or-really-dark'? This is pitch black! No romance not one drop. This comes across sadly enough as a realistic kidnapping and stockholm-syndrome situation I wouldnt wish upon anybody. It was not my cup of tea and I did skip quite a lot of chapters to read the end. DeathsDoll sure can write. I would recommend her other fiction, a bit less dark (but plenty dark by itself).
So the 3 stars not because of the writing. It is me, I'm not such a tough cookie (and proud of it).
So the 3 stars not because of the writing. It is me, I'm not such a tough cookie (and proud of it).
March 5, 2024
The way that this author wrote something so disturbing and dark but so beautifully twisted is just amazing. The characters were so well written and the scenes really came to life. I actually started reading "If I Can't Have You" before this book and as soon as Jessica + Max made an appearance I had to read their story. 10/10 writing - Sad this book is finished but eagerly waiting for the next chapter of IICHY
December 21, 2024
Readers with a considerable appetite for hardcore BDSM probably can't do better than Bought and Paid For by Deathsdoll. The character development, plot structuring, and buildup and resolution of tensions are among the cleverest and most painstaking out there. This author has more raw storytelling talent than most publishing today.
In the end I gave this title three stars after considering the mechanics and compatibility with my personal tastes.
Spoilers follow.
So, this is a daaaaark read. Deathsdoll famously tags her stories "Bad guy stays bad" even while she always delivers happily-ever-afters. In Bought and Paid For our heroes are (1) a misogynist who fucks with the slavetrade and (2) his victim, who falls in love with her captor. This is an incredibly tricky sleight-of-hand, and Deathsdoll never takes this for granted.
Most of the craft(wo)manship is exceptional. The author is painstaking in establishing and building a detailed, plausible world—which becomes even more impressive when you consider she's taking us deep into a Completely Bananas Out-There Insanity Underbelly Fiasco Den of Cray and Depravity (as I believe it is technically known).
The characters are rich, varied, and multidimensional. Their interactions and dialogue feel natural (quite an achievement in this OTT setting), and yet I could not predict where the story was going (coloring within the lines while still shocking your reader is varsity-levels, folks).
The story was brutal and compelling, and I lost all ability to be objective: I was sucked in so fully that the read became punishing (I mean this as the highest compliment).
Deathsdoll is clearly a top-notch intellect, and her English is lush and nuanced. Do not let editorial errors distract you from the quality of the storytelling. Since this is a serialized novel she wrote for free and published on Archive of Our Own out of the goodness of her heart, it has any of the errors found in a manuscript that hasn't yet seen a final professional polish—lots of typos, dropped text, some grammatical errors, and several story-continuity errors. But you would be remiss to discount it for these snags.
A few important sticking points kept me from being able to sink fully into the story, however.
(1) I need more context for the main male character's psychology. He was compelling and vivid and showed significant development over the course of the novel, but I could not understand his original, core motivations. This means that in the end I couldn't empathize with and thus couldn't like him. You'll likely either love to hate him or hate that you love him so much, but I was mostly frustrated.
(2) The main female character's ultimate shift to absolute devotion confused me. The timing of her slow graduation from defiant to despairing to broken to hopeful to yearning was beautifully handled, but I could not understand why in the very end she would embrace her captor even when she could have walked away without further repercussions. I suppose this means I couldn't identify where she tipped over from acquiescence into love. And I suspect this is because I couldn't fully grasp the antihero (see point 1).
(3) This final obstacle, I think, was the biggest impediment for me: Quite simply, this is a story of the hardest-core sexual sadism, which isn't really my bag; I found myself impatient to push through some parts because of this. Obviously this isn't a criticism of the author's work but a description of my subjective experience, and other readers will have different tolerances for what's on offer.
In the end, I was so impressed with Deathsdoll's detail work and sheer authorial daring that I have continued to pick up her other titles, also posted for free on AO3. Her earlier work Lassoed Hearts showcases her dedication to research and detail and is a completely convincing take on the Wild West that is heartbreaking in the totally rewarding kind of way.
But it's for If I Can't Have You that I sound an airhorn and start screaming on a busy street corner while cuing the marching band seated atop a herd of well- but gaudily groomed elephants to play "We Will Rock You" in time with a carefully choreographed display of illegal fireworks: this story is leaving me gobsmacked. As of 12/21/2024 IICHY is all but complete (44 final chapters with only an epilogue remaining, which they author has said she'll likely post before the New Year), but even without the final resolution it is an amazing achievement—better than most of the published stuff I come across these days. Here the author retains all of the strengths enumerated above while, I believe, achieving even more coherent psychologies and fully convincing, devastating denouements. And it doesn't hurt that this one does not ALIGN perfectly with my personal tastes but actually DICTATES them.
All this to say, Deathsdoll is the real deal. And I'm so rabid for If I Can't Have You that I'll very likely revisit Bought and Paid For, going through it with a fine-tooth comb in search of answers to the questions I'm left with—all this, of course, on the way toward earning my doctorate in Deathsdoll studies.
So, if you are a picky reader who yearns for intelligent and nuanced writing and hungers for the bite and richness and depth and overwhelm of dark romance, whether you prefer your chocolate semi-, bittersweet, or raw, do NOT miss Deathsdoll.
In the end I gave this title three stars after considering the mechanics and compatibility with my personal tastes.
Spoilers follow.
So, this is a daaaaark read. Deathsdoll famously tags her stories "Bad guy stays bad" even while she always delivers happily-ever-afters. In Bought and Paid For our heroes are (1) a misogynist who fucks with the slavetrade and (2) his victim, who falls in love with her captor. This is an incredibly tricky sleight-of-hand, and Deathsdoll never takes this for granted.
Most of the craft(wo)manship is exceptional. The author is painstaking in establishing and building a detailed, plausible world—which becomes even more impressive when you consider she's taking us deep into a Completely Bananas Out-There Insanity Underbelly Fiasco Den of Cray and Depravity (as I believe it is technically known).
The characters are rich, varied, and multidimensional. Their interactions and dialogue feel natural (quite an achievement in this OTT setting), and yet I could not predict where the story was going (coloring within the lines while still shocking your reader is varsity-levels, folks).
The story was brutal and compelling, and I lost all ability to be objective: I was sucked in so fully that the read became punishing (I mean this as the highest compliment).
Deathsdoll is clearly a top-notch intellect, and her English is lush and nuanced. Do not let editorial errors distract you from the quality of the storytelling. Since this is a serialized novel she wrote for free and published on Archive of Our Own out of the goodness of her heart, it has any of the errors found in a manuscript that hasn't yet seen a final professional polish—lots of typos, dropped text, some grammatical errors, and several story-continuity errors. But you would be remiss to discount it for these snags.
A few important sticking points kept me from being able to sink fully into the story, however.
(1) I need more context for the main male character's psychology. He was compelling and vivid and showed significant development over the course of the novel, but I could not understand his original, core motivations. This means that in the end I couldn't empathize with and thus couldn't like him. You'll likely either love to hate him or hate that you love him so much, but I was mostly frustrated.
(2) The main female character's ultimate shift to absolute devotion confused me. The timing of her slow graduation from defiant to despairing to broken to hopeful to yearning was beautifully handled, but I could not understand why in the very end she would embrace her captor even when she could have walked away without further repercussions. I suppose this means I couldn't identify where she tipped over from acquiescence into love. And I suspect this is because I couldn't fully grasp the antihero (see point 1).
(3) This final obstacle, I think, was the biggest impediment for me: Quite simply, this is a story of the hardest-core sexual sadism, which isn't really my bag; I found myself impatient to push through some parts because of this. Obviously this isn't a criticism of the author's work but a description of my subjective experience, and other readers will have different tolerances for what's on offer.
In the end, I was so impressed with Deathsdoll's detail work and sheer authorial daring that I have continued to pick up her other titles, also posted for free on AO3. Her earlier work Lassoed Hearts showcases her dedication to research and detail and is a completely convincing take on the Wild West that is heartbreaking in the totally rewarding kind of way.
But it's for If I Can't Have You that I sound an airhorn and start screaming on a busy street corner while cuing the marching band seated atop a herd of well- but gaudily groomed elephants to play "We Will Rock You" in time with a carefully choreographed display of illegal fireworks: this story is leaving me gobsmacked. As of 12/21/2024 IICHY is all but complete (44 final chapters with only an epilogue remaining, which they author has said she'll likely post before the New Year), but even without the final resolution it is an amazing achievement—better than most of the published stuff I come across these days. Here the author retains all of the strengths enumerated above while, I believe, achieving even more coherent psychologies and fully convincing, devastating denouements. And it doesn't hurt that this one does not ALIGN perfectly with my personal tastes but actually DICTATES them.
All this to say, Deathsdoll is the real deal. And I'm so rabid for If I Can't Have You that I'll very likely revisit Bought and Paid For, going through it with a fine-tooth comb in search of answers to the questions I'm left with—all this, of course, on the way toward earning my doctorate in Deathsdoll studies.
So, if you are a picky reader who yearns for intelligent and nuanced writing and hungers for the bite and richness and depth and overwhelm of dark romance, whether you prefer your chocolate semi-, bittersweet, or raw, do NOT miss Deathsdoll.
December 10, 2025
This book was so dark it was absolutely pitch black. But goddamn this was such an engrossing book. It takes a special kind of talent from an author to make you wish that the book was longer than the 1,000 pages it already is
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August 24, 2022Perturbador 😐
January 14, 2023
I know this is fanfic but this was amazing and I actually got a book hangover from it. 10/10 cannot believe how much I loved this. Will be rereading this many times for years to come.
May 28, 2024
I got no business enjoying it this much… this is some ultimate jail time level I have reached jeez 💀
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August 7, 2024placeholder for : Lassoed Hearts (5 stars)
Anderson & Arabella were everything, this one goes onto the fav westerns shelf foso
Anderson & Arabella were everything, this one goes onto the fav westerns shelf foso
April 12, 2025
Would have been 4 stars if not for the epilogue.
May 1, 2025
I absolutely love this writers style. absolutely mind blowing at the level of mind games to make the reader want the happy ending and love. she may be a lawyer but writt8ng is her calling!
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