Hidden Magic

by Melanie Crouse

When Jenny has the opportunity to spend the summer with her sister, a small slice of freedom is all she's really hoping for. Instead she finds something else altogether: electricity.

That's what Jenny feels when she looks at Arram. She knows he's drawn to her too, but the mage-in-training does his best to hide it. Stung, Jenny turns to Arram's former best friend, Jack.

But Arram and Jack's rivalry is much darker than Jenny suspects, and so are Jack's intentions. Soon she's caught in a mystery of old murder, ancient prophecies, and magic hidden where no one has thought to look. When Jenny uncovers a secret magic, she is offered two choices. Arram wants to keep her safe. Jack wants to show her the easy way out. Whatever Jenny decides, her life will irrevocably change. Either way, freedom may be the one thing Jenny can never have.

Genres: Fantasy, Fiction, Paranormal, Young Adult, Young Adult Fantasy

275 pages, Paperback

First published January 21, 2014

About the author

When Melanie Crouse looks out her window right now, all she can see are ice covered trees and a huge igloo surrounded by glittery, sparkly snow. There is also a cat, but he is barely visible because his white fur is such great camouflage in the winter. Somewhere out in all that whiteness, (hopefully in the igloo, but who knows?) are her husband and two youngest children. As soon as Melanie is done with writing for the night, she is going to play Curses with her teenage children, and then they will probably watch TV. And then, when everyone is asleep, (except possibly the shivery children in the igloo), Melanie is going to meet online with Sheena and Sabrina, where they will discuss horrible ways to torture the characters of Pyromancy, who have been way too happy for a couple of chapters now. It is a wonderful life.

You can find Melanie at: https://www.facebook.com/MelanieCrous...
and at http://theprosers.blogspot.com/

Reviews

[Kathylill · Rating 1 out of 5]

I DNFed this book 30% into the story. I’ve read in the “acknowledgements” that the author needed six years to write this book, that she had help from other writers, bloggers, beta readers, mentors and what not. 6 years and nobody ever said this story was crap? Lol, what a waste of time!

This story is just so damn confusing. I thought it was a fantasy full of magic, dragons and romance. But instead you will be treated to a weird mix of a parallel universe, science fiction, dystopian, steam-punkish magical world. The story takes place on the world of Nazdravan and on Earth. Only the dravani, humans with magical abilities, can travel from one world to the other through a portal. But simple humans apparently live on both worlds. (How is that even possible?) I was expecting medieval / historical fantasy, but there are obviously trains and speedboats and some technology like telephones and television on both worlds.

The magic is never really explained in the first third of the book, the world is not introduced only hinted at and the plot is non-existent. There is no back history explaining how it came to be that there are other planets inhabited by humans, the gypsies from the first chapter never ever get mentioned again. Why was it important to introduce the reader to them in the first place? There seem to be enslaved humans, but apart from a small remark at the beginning there is no more mention of it. The society this people in the book live in is so puzzling because not once does the author really describe anything. Apparently there are different kinds of magic: healers and fire mages. Again no explanation is given as to how this magic is supposed to work or how it came to be or what the Dragon Lord has to do with it all. This is all so damn frustrating. It’s just plain boring! I was left with a lot of unanswered questions while the story concentrates on Jenny and her first encounter with (*insta love alert*) Arram. Those were the most unexciting first 100 pages that I have ever read: full of nothing but dull introduction and the foreboding of a love triangle.

I could have put up with that and just skipped a few pages because I really wanted to know what kind of hidden magic Jenny discovers. But then Jenny starts fainting, and fainting, and fainting and if she is not fainting she is blushing scarlet. That girl is so naïve and unlikeable with her consistent “I want to have adventures”. Whoa, here is a MC that really got me enraged. If you are in the forest and came unexpectedly across a dangerous, roaring, aggressive fucking lion, what would you do? I sure as hell would not take a step towards it because I am curious and want to pet it. Yeah she is that dumb.

She dawdled over breakfast, savoring the guilty pleasure of reading at the breakfast table, until a glance at the kitchen clock sent her into a panic, and she raced to get ready. But Sarah was still not back when she was finished, so Jenny went outside to wait, feeling very independent.

Why the panic, why the guilty pleasure and why the fuck feel independent? I get the impression Jenny is 5 instead of 19 (I think) years old.

The university campus was quiet. She wandered aimlessly around, stopping when she found herself back at the fountain. Jets of water diffused down like rain into the large basin, which was ringed by several small statues of children, and Jenny studied them with delight.

Yes right, a child. Can’t take her seriously.

Combine that whiney, childish, innocent, silly, immature MC with a boring New Adult romance set-up and a confusing world-building and you get the impression what awaits you. I mean the title of the book is Hidden Magic - The Dragon Lord #1. I don’t want to read about campus and waste bins and telephones and trains and a stupid girl thinking she discovered the big freedom just because she left her sister’s apartment by herself. I want dragons!

I couldn’t be bothered to read any further then past page 100. I have better books to read and better things to do.

Thanks for netgalley for providing me with a copy.

[Isa · Rating 1 out of 5]

ARC provided by Boekweg Books through Netgalley

DNF at 16%

I can't even write a decent review about this book because it lacked cohesion, sense, a discernible plot, developed characters, or any attempt to connect with the reader and make the reader understand the story.

So I'm just going to write down my reactions as I read it:

"Royal but unheralded
Ancient but not old
Hidden without magic
Passionate but Ice Cold
Only the lost can be ruler
Only one who is gone knows the price
Only found when you are not seeking
The caged one will be hunted twice.
These stones--
they will fall.
They cannot protect you.
When humans hammer on the door
The Dragon Lord and his Guard will let them in.
--These words were carved on the Port William’s wall
by Wilmur Marlion, on the day he took the Stones of Power"

Who sets out to steal some Stones of Power and is like, "Hold up a sec, I'm just going to carve this sweet poem on the wall, real quick."

"Male dravani love beautiful women, and the gypsy dravani aren’t exactly known for being trustworthy."

Oh. My. God. You are not supposed to use the "g word" when referring to Roma or Romani people... Especially in conjunction with such a racist statement. Come on, now, it's 2014.

"dishwater blonde curls"

...what.

Infodump but... without actually saying anything that makes sense...

5% in and this is so confusing!!

They were just in a faux-medieval (I guess?) world, now they're in the real world, what is happening?!

He laughed, but she was serious. Mariah and Nico had invited them back for their wedding the next day. “No, I mean the gypsy wedding. How many humans get invited to one of those? We’ve got to go. It’s a once in a lifetime chance.”

Did the author forget to write this in the book, or... because I went back and it never happened?

Arram (who?), the potential Dragon Lord (what is a Dragon Lord?) is in a band. Of course, he is...

Earth, Nazdravan, Seelie, Kierika... where are these places in relation to each other? I'm assuming Seelie and Kierika are in Nazdravan, and apparently I was right since it was mentioned later on, but these things need to be explicit in the text as soon as they show up. Readers need solid world building, not this mess.

“What are you talking about?” he asked finally.

My thoughts exactly, Arram.

So many relationship talks! "I love you", "I love you, too", "We didn't work out", + 5 pages of feelings. And I'm like, "Who are these people?"

More new people!! We don't even have a grasp on the people who are already in the book!

This is all so incredibly frustrating!
Please, if you're writing a book, introduce your characters, give us something of their background! You can develop them throughout the story, but we need to know the basics as soon as they show up.
Describe the settings! If people can go from Earth to another place, tells us HOW, and WHY, and WHEN it started.
Describe the society in a cohesive, sensible way, don't just throw out tidbits without explaining anything.

All of these things may all be set in stone in the author's mind, but the readers cannot guess at this stuff! All I'm doing right now is reading conversations between people of whom I know little more than their names - boring conversations at that! I'm just about ready to give up on this book!

Oh great, insta-love.

"His eyes--she didn’t dare look at them close enough to figure out what color they were. They were too mesmerizing."

Please... don't.

Her mother lost her mind because they moved to a summer home? And they expect her to go back to being sane when they move back? WHAT.

"I used to daydream about how nice it would be to love somebody so much that your brain had to keep imagining them after they’d died."

No, shut it down. I'm officially done with this book!

[Michelle Willms · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hidden Magic by Melanie Crouse
Jenny lived on the world of Nazdraven, in the small city of Hamilton. Nazdraven is a magical world, where some people, the dravani, held the ability to control magic, and others, the mere humans had no magical ability.
Jenny had always led a very sheltered life under the protection of her mother and grandmother. Her cousin, Phillip, also lived with her, and her best friend and almost boyfriend Scott was there most of the time, as well. Then, suddenly, everything seemed to change overnight. Phillip and his mother left, Scott wasn’t allowed around, Jenny’s older sister (by only one year) was away at school and soon to be married, and Jenny was alone.
Then, the family traveled to spend a month with Jenny’s sister prior to her marriage and Jenny met Arram. She felt an immediate pull to him that was strong, irresistible.
Jenny’s mother and grandmother began acting strangely. They allowed her more freedom than she’d ever had, and their explanations didn’t make sense to her. Eventually, she met Arram’s nemesis, Jack. She liked him, as well, even though Arram despised him and she was warned about him. She seemed to be surrounded by admirers.
Hidden Magic was a fast-paced fantasy based on a very interesting world concept of human slavery, the haves and have-nots, and includes a city of most definite worst case scenario in a divided magical world.
There were some issues with the characters that occasionally threw me from my reading to curse at the book. Jenny was a bit naïve for my liking, defending a man who was clearly abusive, wanting adventures, but foolishly not thinking things through before acting impulsively, and professing love but acting callously. Of course, she was clearly well-written, or I wouldn’t have wanted to reach through the pages and shake her.
Crouse has the innate ability to design characters that catch the reader’s attention. Jenny, though annoying at times, is still likeable, because she’s also tough and gutsy. Arram is almost perfect in his patience, and Jack is…well, you’ll have to read the book to find out about Jack.
Hidden Magic was a fantastically fun, quick read, filled with a plethora of emotions, and ending with the reader ready for the next adventure. It’s clear the adventures have only begun in this world and Jenny will be quickly growing into the woman she needs to be for her hero.
I purchased this copy of Hidden Magic; all opinions are my own.
3 ½ shining stars – rounded up to 4 stars!!

[Amber-marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. So here is my review.

I have given this book 3.25 stars. I cannot give it anymore then that. This book took me almost a full month and a half to read 300 pages of this book. It starts off sooo slow. It kinda drove me nuts a little bit. I almost just closed this book and never picked it up again. If you do read this push through it for a bit. It took me until I hit around chapter 7 before I actually wanted to continue reading it, before it was just kinda garbled.

The plot with this book isn't that bad. There's a love triangle and a damsel in distress, there's the "evil doer" who really isn't that evil, he's just dealt with a shitty hand at life and is just trying to make the most out of it. The damsel in distress, well she's kinda cute in that useless sort of way, and then you get to the hero of the story (only in the beginning though) and he's made out to be this under emotional character that just has a bit of depth in him to keep everyone interested, especially the damsel.

The more you get into the story the more it sort of makes sense, the first few chapters like I said are really garbled and confusing, and SLOW!! Oh wow was it so slow to actually get into this story for me. I stuck through it though and I just finished it, and I'm honestly hoping that there is another one, another part to this series. I would love to see the adventures that she could come up with.

I want to thank the author Melanie Crouse, and Rachel Marks for giving me the opportunity to read and review this book. As always all opinions are of my own and do not reflect the author or the publisher in any way.

SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL INDIE AUTHORS YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT KIND OF GEMS ARE OUT THERE!

[Crystal Collier · Rating 4 out of 5]

Truly Magical (3.5 stars)

First off, I LOVED the cover for this book—so creative and truly represents the feel. The opening chapters take some orienting, so keep in mind you’ll be bouncing from essentially two different prologues for the first two chapters (from two different perspectives/worlds) and then start into the meat of the story by chapter 3.

I immediately identified with Jenny. Goodness, I wanted that girl to break free and spread her wings—almost as badly as she did. When she first meets Arram, I was sucked in, heart and soul. I worried (right there with her) if she was giving up the future she wanted for a pair of pretty eyes, or if she had the moxie to say “no.”

When Jack entered the picture, I was screaming at Jenny to RUN—just because of what I knew from the prologue. She didn’t. I had to admire her for standing her ground, and at the same time, I was frustrated she couldn’t see what was happening. (The cycle that kept her so suppressed for most her life.)

All in all, I did enjoy this story mostly for the complexity of its world. The powers behind the character’s motivations startled me and when I didn’t think they could be any deeper, I’d discover another layer. I want to insert some spoilers here, but won’t. Suffice it to say, the world dynamic is strong and set my imagination on fire.

[Tiffany Oharriz · Rating 4 out of 5]

So, I really wanted to rate this higher just because I really thoroughly enjoyed the storyline and characters but something held me back from giving it a full 5 quills. It was an epic tale, one that I loved very much but there were some slight inconsistencies and the main character Jenny was a bit slow so I had to drop the rating down a tad.

Truthfully, I was just a little lost in the beginning but that has more to do with the speed then anything else. The writing was done really well as was the character development. Once the story picked up and the two main characters met I didn’t want to put the book down. I really can’t say much as to the pros and cons because what I liked would definitely be considered spoliers but I will say that this was one enjoyable read.

Dragons, dravini, gypsies and ancient prophecies make this one amazing read. I highly recommend it. It's this kind of read that most readers will enjoy and I look forward to seeing the story continue in book 2.

[Dana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Captivating. There is romance, intrigue, mystery, suspense and magic in this novel as it tells the story of Jenny, who does not know that she is a dravani, a non-human with the ability to use magic. Apparantly, she is both powerful and dangerous and while she is drawn to Arram, she is also captivated by his one time best friend and now enemy, Jack. This is an interesting and different fantasy world. I received this book free to review from Netgalley.

[Chad Thompson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very fun! The author pulls you immediately into a world of magic and strange creatures, innocence and hidden dangers. All through the eyes of Jenny, a previously sheltered girl, that finds out just how big her worlds are.

I loved the author's take on gypsies, fairies and magical powers, each different that I expected. She has crafted a well thought out and beautiful world.

[Dalene · Rating 4 out of 5]

First, I would like to thank Melanie Crouse for giving me this book for an honest review. I enjoyed the story, although at times I became agitated with Jenny the main character. The characters are well written and the world building is nicely done. I am looking forward to more from this author.

[Bobbie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I nearly didn't give Hidden Magic a chance. The first couple of chapters confused me so much, flitting around from character to character without any real explanation, that I was tempted to give up on it more than once. Once the real story started though, things got exponentially better.
I was surprised by the high fantasy aspect of the book - the summary implied something more urban, but there are different worlds, mages and dragons involved so be warned if you're not a fantasy fanatic!
The electricity between Jenny and Arram was for me the best part of the book. The feeling between those two was the part of the writing that felt the most genuine. Obviously when you're writing about a different world then making it realistic is kind of an impossibility, but I've read sci-fi and fantasy that has a more 'real' feel to it than this. It was definitely lacking something, which was a shame. A lot of the time I do think the writing could have been done in more of a 'show, not tell' way. There's a lot of 'she said this, he did that, this happened' rather than using description and emotion to make the reader really see what is happening for themselves.
A nice little romance, but too much confusion for me to go on to the next book.

This book was supplied by Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Please bear in mind that reviewing books is a personal business and you might not have the same opinion as me!

[Sarah Elizabeth · Rating 2 out of 5]

(Source: I received a digital copy of this book for free on a read-to-review basis. Thanks to Mark My Words Book Publicity and Netgalley.)

I was looking forward to this book, but unfortunately it just didn’t interest me at all.

I can’t even say what it was exactly that put me off this book, I was just bored, and the further I got into the book, the more bored I got.
To start with this book just confused me, the number of different people and places, not to mention different planets, was just confusing, and the world building didn’t help me to understand at all.
The story then just continued being confusing and boring for me, and I was not impressed at all.
There was some romance but that didn’t interest me either, and I just wanted to finish this as soon as possible.
The ending was certainly welcome, although to be honest I didn’t really absorb much of this book at all. I think other people might enjoy this book, but I just couldn’t get into it at all.
Overall; confusing and dull,
4 out of 10.

[Jo · Rating 3 out of 5]

This could have been a good read. I read an ARC copy (thank you Mark My Words Book Publicity) so perhaps there will be some needed major editing before publication. The transitions between scenes, chapters and even paragraphs was really rough. I felt jerked out of the story with nearly every transition. And for most of the book I felt lost. I understand that you don't want to info dump, but you have to give the reader some clues as to what is going on. But the biggest problem I had with the book was Jenny. She simply goes along with whatever hot guy is whispering in her ear at that moment. She doesn't stop and think things through for herself. She never demands answers, and she certainly doesn't advocate for herself. The book had a great premise, and once I finally understood the world, I admire the creativity that the world building took.

[Mindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved reading this book! Jenny has led a very sheltered life away from magic, so when she is thrown into a world of magic she has a lot of learning and growing to do. The world is amazingly drawn out through the book and you learn more and more as the book continues. I fell in love with all the characters, they are well thought out and have a personality all their own.
This was a great young adult fantasy book that I feel comfortable letting my daughter read. It's not littered with sex scenes that have become so rampant in many books lately that are marketed for too young an audience.
The book left me wanting more and wishing that the next book was available!

[C.M. Keller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hidden Magic was a delight. Jenny is a character of complexity who struggles with the passion within her and constriction of growing up very sheltered. The reader senses early on that Jenny was sheltered for a very good reason—and I couldn’t put the book down until I discovered what it was. Even then, I had to find out what happened next. The plot pacing drove the growth of Jenny and Arram, and I loved the dravani (can’t I be one?!). I can’t wait for book two.

[Cwdavenport · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought this book in January 2014, but I had some unfortunate personal tragedies happen the day after I bought it, so I didn't read it until now.
I loved this book. The author has great descriptive power. I enjoyed the whole story and I am aching for more.
The worlds that are created are interesting. The characters are all exciting. I will be giving copies to my book friends.

[Suzi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a fun read! It was quick to get into the characters and the story, and I liked watching the character growth as the story moves on. Jenny's naïveté makes sense considering how sheltered she was and that she was only nineteen. It will be interesting to see what happens with Jack in the next book.

Overall great choice for young readers.