Cat Phillips has her head in the stars, but her romantic fantasies may ruin her shot at real-life love in this sweet and funny lesbian story.
It’s Libra Season, and Cat Phillips is ready to run headfirst into love. The only problem is that her crush is on her best friend, Alison Bridgewater, who is more interested in chatting with boys. Maybe Cat should take this as a sign to get over Alison, even if that means dating the musically challenged Jamie Owusu. After all, a new boyfriend is the best cleanse, at least according to Cat’s friends. Unfortunately, having a boyfriend is a lot harder than Cat expected. And then Morgan Delaney swoops in with her green glasses, enigmatic smile, and talent for teasing Cat in ways that make her feel überlicious. But Morgan is a Gemini, and there’s no way that’s in Cat’s horoscope. Will Cat finally get the girl of her dreams? Or is there a chance there’s more to life than Alison Bridgewater? The stars align for the cast of this energetic romp full of comedic misunderstandings and sparkling language.
Freja Nicole Woolf is a recent graduate from London College of Fashion who has been writing novels and poetry since elementary school. She wrote Never Trust a Gemini, her debut novel, so that young LGBTQ+ people can see themselves in books that aren’t centered on issue-led trauma. Freja Nicole Woolf lives in the UK.
Wow. That was truly awful. I read it so you don't have to and I'm gonna convince you of that.
Let's start with quotes:
• "If a boy took me on a date and didn't try and kiss me I'd think he's a frigid weirdo" •"I don't think it's natural to be honest" (about not kissing on a first date) • it's not the 19th century why didnt you make out on your first date (paraphrased) • is it even a date if you didn't kiss (paraphrased) • about being single: "why would you want to advertise that no one wants you?" • girl on girl hate. Are we still doing this? • "you're in a relationship! People have to know or what's the point • very questionable moment where the MC makes fun of her Polish friends name and says she's "surprised even Polish people can spell it correctly". The xenophobia is pointed out but not apologized for •also regarding her supposedly best friend who is Polish. All we know about her is that she puts up with the MCs bullshit and is Polish. That's literally it. The MC continuously refers to her as her "Slavic Sagittarius" and makes comments about her being from Poland. • "her snot probably tastes like honey" this is just gross and it's mentioned like 4 times in a few paragraphs • SUPER lesbophobic jokes and content within the friend group "weird lesbian crushes" etc • aggressive use of "Uber" and "uberliscious" • oh look, another mention of "dying alone" literally they're 14 years old and it's mentioned multiple times about how dying alone is the worst thing ever.
Okay, so if that didn't deter you, let's dig in a bit.
Beyond the extreme aphobia that's never once challenged or noted as being problematic, every single character in this is insufferable. There is not one character that was pleasant or friendly or redeemable.
I get that they're teenagers but this was on another level of ignorant selfish bullying.
So our MC, Cat, is part of the popular group at school. The group consists of her supposedly best friend who is Polish, the Regina George mean Girl Siobhan, the girl she's in love with Allison Bridgewater, and like two or three other people that I could not tell you what their names are to save my life. I feel like the only character who could have been okay is the Polish friend but honestly the fact that all I can say about her is that she's Polish and that she occasionally calls out Cat for being an asshole is a problem. She has no other defining traits and continuously participates in and contributes to all of the bullying.
So Cat is in love with Allison Bridgewater and don't forget her name and you won't be able to because for 90% of this book every time she's mentioned by our MC, it's her full name. It is obnoxious. Anyway Cat is in love with Allison but Allison does not know and is straight. Cat decides to date a boy for a minute and that doesn't go well and when she starts to get feelings for the weird obviously queer girl at school who their group relentlessly bullies, she has to rethink some things because weird queer girl is a Gemini and you never trust a Gemini. I don't know why either okay It's just a thing apparently. So anyway I really thought that Morgan was going to be a redeemable character but she's not. She's okay for the first 85% of this book and then she apologizes for something that was not her fault and forgives Cat and they're happily ever after even though Cat is an asshole.
This entire book consists of a popular friend group at school who bullies everyone else around them including each other and ties all of their self-worth to whether or not boys like them and if they're going to die alone.
So if you go back to the quotes some of the problematic moments are addressed but they're not really resolved if that makes sense. With the exception of the aphobia, which is ignored because of course it is, the xenophobia is slightly addressed but not resolved and the lesbophobia is addressed and partially resolved to a shitty standard. Basically super mean girl apologizes for making the jokes and how she wouldn't have made the jokes if she had known Cat was a lesbian and then they're friends again but that is not an acceptable apology or awareness of why it was wrong in the first place.
Anyway, besides it being problematic, the writing, plot, and storytelling is so bad. It's so juvenile and I realize this book is targeted towards 14-year-olds but I would be insulted to read this as a 14-year-old. It is so childish and vapid and I just don't think that this generation of teenagers is going to go for this shit. This book really makes some assumptions about the intelligence level of 14-year-olds and I just really don't think they're out there saying "uberlicious" every five sentences.
I do want to make a comment about the aphobia and the queerophobia. In this author's bio she talks about how she's writing LGBTQ+ stories that are not trauma-led and that was one of the things that made me so excited about this story. I would argue that this book is traumatic. There is not a big gay bashing scene but there are so many problematic moments that are not resolved and there is so much bullying. I cannot even handle how full of insults and mean girl bullshit this book was. I didn't have a physical copy but I would bet that there is at least one insult every three to four pages. At a minimum. If you went through and averaged it out I bet there's an insult every page. It is ridiculous and disappointing.
Regarding the aphobia, this author knows that ace people exists because in their bio they say LGBTQ+. They acknowledge the plus. We are here. To have such blatant comments about someone's validity being based on their relationship status is problematic. To have comments that say someone who doesn't kiss on the first date is a weirdo. I also feel like this is slightly dangerous ground to put into the heads of 14-year-olds. Especially with the lackluster sex education curriculum around the globe, to plant this idea that you must be physically intimate with another person as soon as humanly possible is not a good look.
Honestly I should have DNF'd this at 15% when the aphobia hit but for some reason I decided to just continue and I wish I didn't because I am enraged at this book. If I could give it zero stars I would but I'm going to give it one so that it drops the rating a little bit.
Do not be fooled by the cover. This book is not good.
everyone talking about this book being “cringe” doesn’t know how to have fun. i wish little, confused, queer freyja had this book to make her smile when she felt just like cat did. it was fab. written by a fellow fre(y)ja, obviously i knew i was going to love it. 4 stars!!
Content warnings: constant insulting people, MC hit by a bus.
Rep: Cat (the main character) has a massive crush on her friend Alison. There are a few POC side characters. I don't know anything else because I DNFed it.
No one is more disappointed than me that I have to DNF this book.
Now, I love middle grade. I am a massive lover of middle grade, especially upper middle grade, like this one, where the main character is 14 years old.
However, the language in this (constant use of "ARE YOU DENSE?"), among several other things, were downright icky. Let's go with cringe because I was cringing so hard.
I made it through 7 chapters, but I got to a part where Cat says she doesn't want to "die alone" (at 14!!!!) and I get that 14 year olds are dramatic, but that is sending the wrong message to me. Cat and her friendship group, don't seem to know of any value outside of liking boys, and being liked by boys, despite the fact that Cat is in love with Alison. It's weird to me, y'all.
I hope someone out there likes this, but this book is not for me.
And heck, this is a shame because THAT COVER is incredible.
Rep: lesbian mc & li, trans side character, British Ghanaian side characters
Galley provided by publisher
Never Trust a Gemini is a funny romp through the age of fourteen, featuring a chaotic lesbian disaster of a main character, teens being messy and imperfect (and learning), and just in general, a plot that keeps you entertained. It was a book that I wholeheartedly enjoyed reading.
This is a coming of age tale for Cat, our zodiac-obsessed protagonist, who has a ginormous crush on her straight best friend. You can imagine, based on my description of her as a chaotic lesbian disaster, the kinds of situations this leads to. Because of this, there were several parts of this book that made me laugh out loud.
Probably the best part of this book was how it let its cast be messy and imperfect, sometimes (often even, for some) mean, but it let the characters be forgiven for it where possible. No one is perfect at fourteen. No one has perfect ideals or behaviour at that age. Fourteen year olds are nowhere near fully formed, so a book which allows them not to be, which allows them to make mistakes, to be less than polite and politically correct (for want of a better phrase) at times, is very welcome. Of course they’re pulled up on it! But gently, so they can learn. I think, also, that will help its younger readers a lot. These are fourteen year olds who feel like fourteen year olds. Characters you might see yourself reflected in a little. It’s all very well having characters who are (mostly) perfect, but people, especially kids, really aren’t.
The second best part is how chaotically wild it is. It feels a little unbelievable at times, it’s true, but in a fun way. In a way you can’t help laughing at. It reminds me a lot of the books I read as a kid, the Jacqueline Wilson type ones, and I think maybe that nostalgia is also a reason I enjoyed it this much.
Pretty much, then, this is a book I would definitely recommend to people, especially ones who are looking for imperfect teens, who are given the space to grow across the course of the novel. And also, the lesbian flags all over the book are just really cute too.
Écoutez, c’était mignon et assez drôle parfois mais c’était surtout bien WTF très très souvent, je ne m’y attendais pas ! J’ai aussi eu un peu de mal avec certains comportements ou schémas des personnages dans le groupe d’amies de Cat… mais, dans l’ensemble, ça reste une romance lgbt mignonne !
Cat is a fourteen-year-old with a crush on her best friend and she’s part of the popular girls’ group at school. Which seems to imply following their leader, Siobhan, thoughtlessly and putting up with her bullying. Then Cat crushes on another girl (that part is cute), and with her opens her eyes a tiny bit. Flawed characters make for better stories and these are kids, so you can hope they’ll grow smarter and kinder, whether it’s Siobhan, who, objectively, is a pretentious bully but also one of a few who own their mistakes and apologize sincerely, or Cat. Cat is supremely annoying and self-centred, but she’s also brave and by the end, not only did I think she was sort of endearing, I was also a little in awe of her. She’s a total disaster but who isn’t at her age, and while not all fourteen-year-old kids are messes, some are and they deserve to see themselves in stories too. That said, I’m not sure I would have recommended this book to my child at that age. It may depict somewhat accurately how superficial cliques and teenagers can be but I’m not sure the ending (which I liked) makes all the second-hand embarrassment worth enduring.
I don’t know if I would have read this book to the end if I hadn’t listened to it. The narration made it easier to go through and even fun at times. I never seriously considered DNFing. From what I’ve seen, quite a few other reviewers did, whereas others loved it.
I won’t rate this book, I don’t feel like I’m in a position to. The narration deserves 4⭐️ but I’d probably rate the book itself below 3, but is it because I’m an adult? Would a fourteen-year-old lesbian enjoy reading/listening about Cat? When I read middle-grade/YA books, I read them as the adult I have become, and I review them for adult readers. I know they’re written for children and teenagers but I don’t pretend to know what children and teenagers enjoy, I don’t work with kids, I don’t interact with kids on a regular basis, I have no idea. I review YA for adults who enjoy YA. With this book, I’m out of my depth. Therefore, no rating.
I received a copy from the publisher and I am voluntarily leaving a review.
Read all my reviews on my blog (and please buy from the affiliation links!): Jude in the Stars
I can't remember the last time a book made me laugh so hard!! Cat Phillips has got to be one of the funniest characters ever created. I just hope I don't start using the phrase "gooseberries galore"
Notes I made while reading:
The lyrics to the tune of Dolly Partons "Jolene" had me cackling! I scared my husband and cats, ha ha ha!! I then proceeded to sing it for my husband with Jamie's lyrics. Too funny!
I loved this quote -"We live on a planet where the ocean comes in and out with the moon, so why can't we be connected to stars too?"
Cat comes up with the funniest sayings!! Example FML - Frittata My Life. She's absolutely ridiculous and I love her!
Accidentally punching her teaching in the nose. I was howling with laughter!!
Never Trust A Gemini is so full of love and laughter. I was laughing up until the very last page. Big thanks to Book Influencers and Candlewick Press for my gifted copy!!
Final thoughts: I have been reading through the comments on Goodreads and while I understand many having issues with name calling and bullying, let's remember that these are 14 year old girls, not adults. I remember being a teenager, learning as I went along. We all did stupid things and made mistakes. That's all part of growing up! I know many teens that would have said they would die if they didn't find love. Yes it's dramatic, but it is part of being a teenager. I will be the first to admit I was just as ridiculous.
This book is so much better as an audiobook, the narrator is hilarious and the accent is what turns it from a basic YA book to comedic gold. The mc and her sister were so relatable, I remember being that hormonal mess all too well. I had such a throwback to my first crushes, how every interaction was analysed a thousand ways and turned into a huge thing that HAD to mean something. And this being an lgbt book is what made it special. That sapphic pining for your straight best friend - ugh, too relatable. Thank you for the arc, I really enjoyed the book!
One of the perks of working in publishing is being able to read manuscripts of not yet published books. No wonder publishers were holding a heated auction for this one! To use a quote from the book (if I may): It's a genuine mistresspiece! The use of language is so unique and funny - such a satisfying and delightful book, I can't wait for it to publish in 2023!
Where do i begin? I did not like this book. The characters were supposed to be 14 but were written like they’re 10. The characters aren’t very developed, they’re all there just to exist (and be terrible). Our main character is especially terrible. She makes fun of her friend’s name & how she’s from Poland, is constantly mentioning how she’s going to die alone even though she’s 14 (and I’m sure I was annoying at 14 too but this is over the top). Also if I have to hear the name Alison Bridgewater one more time I’m going to loose my mind.
I received an advanced listening copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I am sorry but this book has to be a joke, right? Like a parody of Y/A novels…? I was happy to find another Y/A WLW, but after the first 2 pages I decided to turn it into a drinking game. How to get alcohol poisoning: 1. Get this book 2. Drink every time she says something cringey (my total count of the book was 225 times. I really counted) 3. Says gooseberries, galore, or über 4. Uses an exclamation mark 5. Says something borderline offensive 6. Uses a very weird alliteration 7. There’s insane bullying within the friend group 8. She uses Disney princesses for a weird fanfic fantasy 9. Uses weird metaphors or sayings (silent as a salamander…?) 10. The MC is so annoying you get second hand embarrassment
[SPOILERS AHEAD NOW!]
Also, everything that happens is way too much. She’s having a bad day and a car drives into a puddle, spraying her with water. Or she is sitting next to a crush and falls into the water. Or, GETTING HIT BY A BUS AND SETTING HER HOUSE ON FIRE. Then complains about the rental she has to live in for 2 months is not good enough for her. The same kind of house her so called girlfriend lives in. I am not even kidding. I understand it is intended for a Y/A audience that’s on the younger side but it feels like it is intended for 10 year olds. The ages the characters have are ages where everyone is annoying but this is way, way, way over the top & childish. It feels like the author goes out of her way to find the weirdest alliterations that do not make sense and to be quirky, but sometimes just using normal words will do the trick as well.
When she comes out to her friends (literally in the last 20 pages), they are all so nice about it after making a hundred homophobic jokes. How do they even deserve to get a redemption arc? This is not excusable behaviour.
Sorry but also the (trying of) breaking into someone’s house being justified? The bullying being condoned for 80% of the book? The casual outing of a trans person without their consent? The FIRE SHE CAUSED AND THEN HER BEING ANNOYED THAT HER PARENTS ARE UPSET? This is the most annoying MC I’ve read so far. Her sister Luna deserved way better and should’ve been MC.
Reading this book feels like watching the Heartstopper TV series. That's all I need to say to get some of you to read it, I'm sure.
It’s never fun being in love with a straight friend. Especially when you’re not out! The main character, Cat, is fixated on the zodiac – she’s the one all her friends turn to when they want a horoscope. She’s stuck in a secret crush on a friend when she meets someone new... and sparks fly.
Woolf wrote this book to be fun and romantic, as an alternative to heavier, issue-led books about queer life that have dominated in the past. Excerpts from chat threads and other ephemera are included at the beginning of each chapter.
The cover is genuinely the only good thing this book has going for it. Never Trust A Gemini is infested with cringe-inducing millennial "humor" and it's a damn miracle I made it as far as I did into this book.
Esta historia desde que ves el título sabes que te sacará un par de sonrisas y que es un libro corto a la vez que te puedes leer en un corto tiempo.
La pluma de la autora es ligera y este libro lo terminó muy rápido. Creo firmemente que me llamó mucho la atención el libro por la portada.
Cat está decidida a confesarle sus sentimientos a su amiga Alison, pero por cosas del destino, ella le anuncia que está enamorada de alguien más. Entonces cat decide darle otra oportunidad al amor interesándose en la nueva chica de la escuela, pero hay un problema: ella es Géminis y se sabe que en los Géminis no se puede confiar.
La verdad estaba muy emocionada de leer este libro, pero hubo cosas que me sacaron de onda que no me permitieron poder disfrutar 100% de la lectura. Un ejemplo de ello eran las cosas y la mala suerte de la protagonista en este caso.
Me llamó mucho la atención que el libro fuera de astrología, pero siento que llegó a un punto en el cual fue tedioso porque todo se basaba en la astrología. Siento que los personajes cometen errores, pero siento que esto nos puede dar a entender cómo son los adolescentes que están empezando en esta etapa hoy en día.
Quiero agradecer a planetajovenmx por el envío de este ejemplar 🫶🏼
I truly believe I would have loved this book at age 12-16. This book is very much written as a modern teenager, and as an adult it was very hard to keep up or care once I was about 25% in. I was initially intrigued by the title as I am a Gemini, and it’s hilariously true that Geminis are a bit hated in the astrological community and known as “two-faced”
The entire book is truly teenagers being teenagers & discovering who you are. It’s a perfect LGBTQIA+ book for teens who are around this age and getting their first crushes. I love that it represents that you’re not always meant to be with the person you think you are, but more someone you naturally fall for.
I recommend this for YA swifties, astrological fans, LQBTQIA+ teens, and some Greek mythology
I would not recommend this book for anyone over the age of 16 unless you’re pre reading for a younger reader to examine content. But it’s VERY immature in nature.
I received an arc from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
¿Eh? ¿Qué puedo comentar? Esperé muchísimo más de lo que se me otorgó a lo largo del libro. Quiero decir, me pareció plano, básico, insípido y con bastante inmadurez de por medio de la protagonista y, ciertamente, para ser una novela LGBTQ+, siento que dejó a deber a montones.
Por otra parte, el único personaje que me gustó fue el segundo interés romántico de nuestra pisciana. Era el único cerebro que de verdad tenía pensamientos racionales e incluso tendía a empatizar cuando no debía de hacerlo. Así que, mis respetos para Morgan y el por qué sí debe confiarse en las Géminis.
¿Lo rescatable? Tiene capítulos cortos, por ende, se lee en un pestañeo. That's it.
the reviews of this one make no sense to me like this is literally a lesbian Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging…i guess no one has TASTE these days!!!!
The narrator was fantastic in this! Sadly the narrator was my only favorite part of this book. Unfortunately, I didn't connect with the characters and the comedy didn't land with me either. There was a lot of cringe style comedy. I was hoping the issues brought up were going to be discussed earlier (like the bullying comments made by friends) rather than waiting until the end. I thought the ending would win me over but even then, I found the ending lackluster.
Thank you NetGalley and the Publisher for allowing me to review this book!
i was pleasantly surprised that in a genre that avoids it like the plague, this book used the word “lesbian” so frequently. it was refreshing and i hope it serves as an example to other books in the genre.
this book was sweet, but i felt like it was constantly falling over itself to force awkward moments rather than expanding on characters or relationships. i know this is meant for a younger audience than i am, but i have a sister the same age as the main character and know that even she would find the writing juvenile. when writing middle grade or teen fiction, you can’t simply assume that your readers are less intelligent than you, because chances are good that the eleven year old picking up the book you wrote would score higher on a vocab quiz than the authors of most middle grade fiction.
anyway this cover is absolutely gorgeous and i love it dearly, i’d probably buy the book just for the cover when it comes out if they sold more than the same three gay books in the bookstores in my city.
“Nunca confíes en un géminis” es una divertida novela que combina la comedia, el autodescubrimiento, la adolescencia y los signos zodiacales en una historia que te sacará sonrisas.
Cat ha estado enamorada de su amiga Alison desde hace un buen tiempo y no encuentra cómo decírselo, mucho menos ahora que Alison le confiesa quién es su crush. Cat no podría estar más devastada, hasta que comienza a notar a la nueva chica de la escuela; Morgan. Cat es una aficionada al zodiaco y cree firmemente en las predicciones de los signos, ¿pero qué pasa cuando la chica nueva que le gusta es nada más y nada menos que un… GÉMINIS?
Este libro fue muy fácil de leer, literalmente lo terminé en un día, la pluma de la autora es muy ligera y la verdad aunque en general ciertos aspectos de la historia no se toman en serio a ellos mismos, existen otras partes que sorprendentemente están bien tratadas a pesar de no tocarlas a fondo.
Sí hubo un personaje en particular que me molestó muchísimo (Siobhan, la amiga de la protagonista), entiendo que la autora quiso hacer un personaje bully precisamente para poder darle crecimiento a Cat, peeeeero siento que se quedó corta con el arco de redención que le dió. Merecía pedir más disculpas que se sintieran sinceras, honestamente los comentarios que hizo Siobhan me desagradaron muchísimo, era una mean girl que solo existía para hacerme enojar.
Dejando de lado eso, la historia de Cat con Morgan me gustó, porque Cat se dio el tiempo de descubrir lo que realmente quería y a quién realmente quería. Morgan entendió por el proceso difícil por el cual estaba pasando y jamás la presionó a tomar una decisión.
¿ESE FINAL? Vale, yo sé que les dije que el libro no se toma en serio a sí mismo (lo cual no es para nada negativo, al contrarío te hace tomarte las cosas de comedia con más humor), pero el final me dejó entre mortificada e histérica de risa, porque eso que sucedió solo le pudo haber pasado a Cat.