“No one in human history lived a more chronicled life than the Queen. We can chart her movements, on an almost daily basis, from the moment she was born to the moment she died. There was barely a week in her ninety-six years when she was not photographed, often by hundreds or even thousands of people.”
I’ve come to realise that in the same way that many over-eager pet owners assign all kinds of profound skills and special powers onto their pets, many people suffer from the same affliction when it comes to the queen – in short it seems the less she says and does the more qualities and talents she seem to acquire, she’s like a cipher for the masses, and whatever mysterious, unquantifiable traits they place on her seems to say more about them than the queen.
“The Queen had an instinct for ritual; without it, the monarchy would lose its mystery, its magic, its power.”
This wasn’t quite what I was expecting – Many people claim that Brown is funny – with the rent-a-quotes gushing at the back “an enthralling reverie on memory!” and “exquisitely funny and fascinating!” well he certainly did a good job of hiding it in here, at best I found some rare moments of mild amusement, and there were definitely some really interesting moments, but nothing that I’d class as funny as such over nearly 650 pages. But then again maybe you had to have gone to one of those posh English schools, like the rent-a-quotes on the blurb, the author and indeed his subject matter did, to get in on the hilarity?...
Brown tells us that Prince Philip’s sisters “made a habit of marrying Nazis,” Philip was largely brought up by his mother’s brother as his mother suffered from severe mental illness (and he once went five years without seeing her as a child.) We also learn that from around the age of 11 until he was married he had no fixed abode.
“If a cricketer suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat-which he could do very easily-are you going to ban cricket bats?”
Was old Philip’s reaction to being quizzed on gun control at the end of 1996.
The age old problem with damaged people like the royals is that like far too many of the elite, they have been subjected to truly horrendous upbringing, riddled with all sorts of trauma, abuse and neglect laden with toxic, selfish destructive parents – but unfortunately when that distasteful and destructive end product gains power and then everyone else has to endure the results of it – it’s quite a different matter.
“You can’t touch me. I’m royal.” Is apparently what the former Duke of York Andrew “Pizza Express” Windsor called out to Meatloaf after trying to push him into the water, during the filming of “It’s A Royal Knockout” and he responded with – “I don’t give a shit who you are, you’re goin’ in the moat.”
The pages and pages dedicated to largely minor celeb’s and Boris “Honey! Honey! Honey!” Johnston’s dreams of the queen, were incredibly dull, but they were riveting compared to the absolute rubbish of being subjected to a whole chapter about her corgis. Sweet Baby Jesus!
I thought the story of the Queen’s most famous lookalike – Jeannette Charles (seen in many adverts, TV shows and movies etc) was interesting and even more impressive and strange as not only were they born within a year of each other, but they both lived to the ripe old age of 96. Spooky.
So in the end the queen like the royals is a depressing, seemingly endless saga, a childish, pathetic soap opera built on - a dark and twisted history, involving centuries of murder, avarice, lies, theft, oppression, tyranny, fascism, racism, ignorance, incest and lazy, entitled, parasitic privilege. Whilst millions of Britons were enduring the misery and hardship of enforced rationing, this smug, pompous group of parasites were indulging in lives of pampered, childish excess, greed and petulance. Never tiring of their own narcissism, never stop believing that they are above everyone and everything else, including the law they remain one of the saddest and greatest tricks played on the gullible.