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Far From Happy
There was no smoking gun. No horrible family secret behind why I left. No reason at all for me, at nineteen, to leave for New York, ready for anything life had to offer—especially if it involved certain proclivities. In the time required to walk to Times Square from the Port Authority Terminal, my naiveté was wiped away. I witnessed a prostitute performing her nightly hustle. In the days to follow, I was mugged twice, ripped off while trying to purchase pot, and beaten to the point of soiling myself. But a chance encounter with a young hustler led to a meeting with Mr. B, mob-connected owner of multiple clubs on Times Square, all under fire from a new mayor embarking on an anti-sleaze campaign directed squarely at The Deuce.
I spent the next twenty years of my life coming of age on the streets, but now, as I speed south across the countryside, heading for my native New Orleans and a dying sister, I make a pact to leave New York in New York, only to find coming home proves harder than coming out.
I spent the next twenty years of my life coming of age on the streets, but now, as I speed south across the countryside, heading for my native New Orleans and a dying sister, I make a pact to leave New York in New York, only to find coming home proves harder than coming out.
200 pages, Paperback
First published January 19, 2014
55 people want to read
About the author
Jeni Decker
17 books21 followersJeni Decker lives on a farm in rural Michigan with her husband, two autistic sons, two Australian Shepherds, and an albino frog named Humbert Humbert.
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
February 15, 2014
A 4.5 star review by The Blogger Girls.
This is a story about a young man who runs from everything. He runs from his family, runs from himself, and just generally runs every time a situation makes him uncomfortable in any way. He runs to try and find himself but ends up running again before he has time to figure anything out.
Jackson left his family in New Orleans and headed to New York to experience life. He ends up hustling to pay for college, which has put him in many dangerous situations. Not everything is completely detailed or played out, but there is enough to get a sense of some of the things he has gone through. He stays disconnected from everyone, including himself, and it takes quite a while for that to change.
He ends up going home for a family emergency, and the story flips back and forth between his visit home and the time he spent in New York. During this time, Jackson is also writing a manuscript of his experiences. While home, he meets Christopher, a man who seems to have it all together. He is completely comfortable with himself and is confident in who he is, which is the complete opposite of Jackson. Things definitely don’t go very well for these two, though not for a lack of trying by Christopher.
I’m not often a very big fan of flashbacks, but they make this story quite interesting. I ended up getting pulled right into this story of watching Jackson struggle even with so much support from his family and Christopher. I so badly wanted him to find himself and learn to live happy, and I was turning page after page hoping to see it happen. This is definitely not your typical romance, but it is well-written, and the gritty aspects were just as beautifully described as the loving/emotional ones. This was a solid HFN, though I easily imagine Jackson having a few setbacks before he reaches his HEA. I will definitely be looking to read more from Ms. Decker in the future.
February 16, 2014
Wow! I went in to this book blindly, knowing nothing about the author, and only briefly reading the description. What a lovely dark book it is!
Jackson, the main character in the story is wonderful, I can’t decide if he’s truly damaged, or just reckless, or a lost soul…This story jumps back and forth between Jackson’s arrival in New York City as an innocent from New Orleans, following his life on the streets, and nearly 20 years later, as he returns to New Orleans to deal with a family crisis. The earlier bits set in NYC are fascinating, the underbelly of New York, bathhouses, theaters, violence, kink, prostitution, drug abuse. Yet through it all Jackson survives and appears to thrive.
The city of New York is a character all on its own in this story. Dark, gritty, depressing and disgusting. The old NYC, before it was Disneyfied. The authors description is amazing. I could nearly smell the nasty scent of Times Square on a hot summer night. The description of conversations overheard in a restaurant, the odd characters in the bathhouses, oh, the trip Jackson takes on a train to Queens. The people he meets, both good and bad, are just fantastic.
The characters in New Orleans are a huge part of this story as well. Jackson’s patient loving family, and Chris his potential love interest. Chris is there, but this is not his story. This is very clearly Jackson’s book.
The transition Jackson goes through is amazing to watch. He is truly one of the most interesting and creative characters I have read about in a long time. There are hints of thing he’s done or seen that we don’t really see, I almost wish we did! I wanted more Jackson!
I just finished this story and realized there’s not a lot of sex. And that’s just fine, actually. It’s not really a romance, it’s Jackson’s life story. There’s a bit of good sex, a bit of bad sex, although that is more implied. There is some angst, but Jackson deals with things so oddly that even the angst didn’t really get to me. It’s just a really good, gritty, dark story, with a perfect ending.
I’m so glad I read this book. Five stars, more if I could give them! It won’t be to everyone’s taste, it’s not a romance, there’s not a lot of hot steamy sex, although there an implied HEA. Or maybe HFN, it’s hard to say. If you like a strong character driven story, you’ll like it. If you want flowers and chocolates, you probably won’t.
A free copy was provided in exchange for a review. Original review posted at http://sidlove.com/2014/02/16/book-re...
Jackson, the main character in the story is wonderful, I can’t decide if he’s truly damaged, or just reckless, or a lost soul…This story jumps back and forth between Jackson’s arrival in New York City as an innocent from New Orleans, following his life on the streets, and nearly 20 years later, as he returns to New Orleans to deal with a family crisis. The earlier bits set in NYC are fascinating, the underbelly of New York, bathhouses, theaters, violence, kink, prostitution, drug abuse. Yet through it all Jackson survives and appears to thrive.
The city of New York is a character all on its own in this story. Dark, gritty, depressing and disgusting. The old NYC, before it was Disneyfied. The authors description is amazing. I could nearly smell the nasty scent of Times Square on a hot summer night. The description of conversations overheard in a restaurant, the odd characters in the bathhouses, oh, the trip Jackson takes on a train to Queens. The people he meets, both good and bad, are just fantastic.
The characters in New Orleans are a huge part of this story as well. Jackson’s patient loving family, and Chris his potential love interest. Chris is there, but this is not his story. This is very clearly Jackson’s book.
The transition Jackson goes through is amazing to watch. He is truly one of the most interesting and creative characters I have read about in a long time. There are hints of thing he’s done or seen that we don’t really see, I almost wish we did! I wanted more Jackson!
I just finished this story and realized there’s not a lot of sex. And that’s just fine, actually. It’s not really a romance, it’s Jackson’s life story. There’s a bit of good sex, a bit of bad sex, although that is more implied. There is some angst, but Jackson deals with things so oddly that even the angst didn’t really get to me. It’s just a really good, gritty, dark story, with a perfect ending.
I’m so glad I read this book. Five stars, more if I could give them! It won’t be to everyone’s taste, it’s not a romance, there’s not a lot of hot steamy sex, although there an implied HEA. Or maybe HFN, it’s hard to say. If you like a strong character driven story, you’ll like it. If you want flowers and chocolates, you probably won’t.
A free copy was provided in exchange for a review. Original review posted at http://sidlove.com/2014/02/16/book-re...
June 7, 2014
Jackson had a good family. He grew up loved and cared for. He wasn't abused. There were no dark family secrets. When he headed to New York City for college he was just a normal kid looking to find his way in the world.
What Jackson finds is the underside of the city and Jackson spends the next 20 years working in bath houses, porn shops and eventually as a prostitute.
The story starts in the current day with Jackson being called to come home due to a family emergency. The book goes back and forth between what's happening in the current day and Jackson's memories of his past. Jackson's story is dark and gritty and sometimes graphic. I thought this part of the book was well done. The author does a good job of painting a picture of how bad things got for Jackson while still making you care about him and caring about what happens to him.
My complaint with the book was how quickly Jackson resolves his issues when he comes home. The book is moving along at a pretty dark pace until almost the end where it all of a sudden had an easily come by happily ever after. I don't like when dark stories jump quickly to happiness. It doesn't seem realistic to me. I couldn't buy Jackson having so many emotional issues and them almost overnight he has a great, emotionally healthy life. This quick, painless transition made this just an ok read for me.
What Jackson finds is the underside of the city and Jackson spends the next 20 years working in bath houses, porn shops and eventually as a prostitute.
The story starts in the current day with Jackson being called to come home due to a family emergency. The book goes back and forth between what's happening in the current day and Jackson's memories of his past. Jackson's story is dark and gritty and sometimes graphic. I thought this part of the book was well done. The author does a good job of painting a picture of how bad things got for Jackson while still making you care about him and caring about what happens to him.
My complaint with the book was how quickly Jackson resolves his issues when he comes home. The book is moving along at a pretty dark pace until almost the end where it all of a sudden had an easily come by happily ever after. I don't like when dark stories jump quickly to happiness. It doesn't seem realistic to me. I couldn't buy Jackson having so many emotional issues and them almost overnight he has a great, emotionally healthy life. This quick, painless transition made this just an ok read for me.
March 24, 2018
That book was a surprise. A good one nonetheless. It isn't a romance story in first place. The relationship is just a little part of the story. It is an important part because it egnites something in Jackson. But mostly it's a story about finding the true you and stopping playing a role while your life is passing by.
A great story about life, family and bad decisions. I just wished the relationship would have had a bigger spot in the plot.
A great story about life, family and bad decisions. I just wished the relationship would have had a bigger spot in the plot.
July 26, 2016
I struggled with the beginning of this book but as I continued to read, the meaning of the story finally came in view for me. It felt like there was more running and forgiveness than explanation as to why this continued to happen and to be honest, it got rather old. With the flashbacks of his time in New York, while not highly graphic and detailed, you could sense that he was lucky to have come off the streets in one piece. Once we started piecing the puzzle together I was able to wrap my head around the main character and give it a four star rating.
Jackson is one of the most confused young men I have ever read about. Leaving his family in New Orleans he heads to New York to go to school. The education he received wasn’t from a college though, it was from becoming a prostitute on the streets. He even admitted in the book, he had a great family, was loved and protected, he just found himself selling his body to strangers. One night he gets a call from his sister telling him he needed to come home now.
When he got home he was told his sister Shelby was on life support and she had made a will with the direction only Jackson could decide when to pull the plug on her. His sister knew when she was told she had cancer this was how the end was going to be, she also knew unless she did it this way Jackson would never come home. She just neglected to tell her mother and siblings about the cancer so this was a shock for them.
During all of this he meets Christopher who is a self-confident gay man and has his life put together. As you read this book you will see what Chris is willing to do in order to help Jackson find a place to land and stop running. With Chris’s acceptance and his family’s love and forgiveness, the only thing making Jackson run is the fact he can’t admit he is gay.
The author made Jackson’s story real for the reader. All of the characters are so well developed you can feel the emotion jump off the pages while you read, but I just wished Jackson could have learned to accept himself earlier in life. He was writing a book about his experience and it was hard for me to see him distance himself from everyone including his own writing. Far From Happy will tug at your heart, make you cry while reading his pain and give you times to celebrate when you think he finally has it. It was a good book to read if you want to understand someone who runs from everything, even the good in life sometimes.
Reviewed by Tbird for Crystal’s Many Reviewers
*Copy provided for honest review*
Jackson is one of the most confused young men I have ever read about. Leaving his family in New Orleans he heads to New York to go to school. The education he received wasn’t from a college though, it was from becoming a prostitute on the streets. He even admitted in the book, he had a great family, was loved and protected, he just found himself selling his body to strangers. One night he gets a call from his sister telling him he needed to come home now.
When he got home he was told his sister Shelby was on life support and she had made a will with the direction only Jackson could decide when to pull the plug on her. His sister knew when she was told she had cancer this was how the end was going to be, she also knew unless she did it this way Jackson would never come home. She just neglected to tell her mother and siblings about the cancer so this was a shock for them.
During all of this he meets Christopher who is a self-confident gay man and has his life put together. As you read this book you will see what Chris is willing to do in order to help Jackson find a place to land and stop running. With Chris’s acceptance and his family’s love and forgiveness, the only thing making Jackson run is the fact he can’t admit he is gay.
The author made Jackson’s story real for the reader. All of the characters are so well developed you can feel the emotion jump off the pages while you read, but I just wished Jackson could have learned to accept himself earlier in life. He was writing a book about his experience and it was hard for me to see him distance himself from everyone including his own writing. Far From Happy will tug at your heart, make you cry while reading his pain and give you times to celebrate when you think he finally has it. It was a good book to read if you want to understand someone who runs from everything, even the good in life sometimes.
Reviewed by Tbird for Crystal’s Many Reviewers
*Copy provided for honest review*
June 29, 2014
My heart bled for Jackson in this incredibly moving story from Jeni Decker, a character so lost it takes his sister dying for him to face up to his past and find his way out of the darkness.
This isn’t really a romance, but we do get a happy for now. We see Jackson as an observer of his own past, its a self reflection on a wasted life as he learns to accept himself, warts n all, and embrace it rather than looking in from the outside. Does he find love? I like to think so… more that he finds peace and self acceptance.
The writing is excellent and if I had balls they would have been well and truly grabbed as this book kept me transfixed and mesmerised. It’s a dark read and the words are haunting but I just couldn’t stop reading. The imagery was vivid like watching a movie with his his past filmed in black and white, giving it that feel of darkness with the filth and depravity of that time. The present in more muted colours of indecision and confusion… with his future full of hope and happiness like bright sunshine and smiles.
Jeni Decker more than impressed me with Far from Happy and I look forward to reading more from her. Fabulous read and highly recommended for those that like dark, atmospheric and emotional M/M fiction.
This isn’t really a romance, but we do get a happy for now. We see Jackson as an observer of his own past, its a self reflection on a wasted life as he learns to accept himself, warts n all, and embrace it rather than looking in from the outside. Does he find love? I like to think so… more that he finds peace and self acceptance.
The writing is excellent and if I had balls they would have been well and truly grabbed as this book kept me transfixed and mesmerised. It’s a dark read and the words are haunting but I just couldn’t stop reading. The imagery was vivid like watching a movie with his his past filmed in black and white, giving it that feel of darkness with the filth and depravity of that time. The present in more muted colours of indecision and confusion… with his future full of hope and happiness like bright sunshine and smiles.
Jeni Decker more than impressed me with Far from Happy and I look forward to reading more from her. Fabulous read and highly recommended for those that like dark, atmospheric and emotional M/M fiction.
June 28, 2015
This book is so far out of my normal reading genres, that I wasn't sure at first if I was going to like it as much as I did. The protagonist of Far From Happy, is Jackson, a character who, through flashbacks of his time in New York working in the seedy world of X-rated theaters and eventually male prostitution, dynamically and finally matures, when faced with a family crisis that sends him back home to his (admittedly) decidedly "normal" and loving family. The juxtaposition of the two settings in this novel allow the reader to start to understand why a young man struggling with his sexuality might simply pick up and leave his traditional roots behind while he figures out who he is, and why it may take such a drastic change in lifestyle to allow him to accept it, even if while in New York, he was, indeed, "Far From Happy" with what he is trying to figure out. Thankfully, Decker writes the character of Jackson so believably that when he is able to find some peace with himself (no spoilers as to how- read the book!), readers are able to palpably feel the whole tone of the book change from gritty and dark to hopeful. A surprising gem of a novel, though definitely not for the faint of heart (or homophobic). Five stars.
February 27, 2014
Gritty and disturbing story about a man who leaves New Orleans for New York and ends up hustling, sometimes for the mob, staying away for twenty years. He doesn't know why he feels compelled to participate in all these seedy encounters, but when a death in the family gets him to return home he finally starts to confront his own problems and pursues a healthier form of relationship. This is not a romance, but is really well-written--more like queer fiction, maybe. At any rate, it really stuck with me.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews