Lead Me Not

Twisted Love #1

by A. Meredith Walters

In this dangerously sexy novel from the New York Times bestselling author of Find You in the Dark , a straight-laced college student meets a handsome but enigmatic stranger who lures her into an underground club scene, where she finds it difficult to resist temptation…

Aubrey Duncan understands loss. She knows what rock bottom looks like, and she is determined to crawl back up to the top after the sudden death of her younger sister. She blames herself for her part in the tragedy, convinced that she could have done something, anything, to help her.

In her effort to gain redemption, Aubrey starts fresh at Longwood University and facilitates an addiction support group, hoping she can support someone else in the way she failed her sister. But what she doesn’t count on is an all-consuming fascination with group member Maxx Demelo, a gorgeous, blond, blue-eyed enigma who hides dark secrets behind a carefully constructed mask. He only reveals what he wants others to see. But Aubrey glimpses another Maxx hidden below the surface—a Maxx who is drowning in his own personal hell.

As Aubrey and Maxx develop an attraction too intense to ignore, he pulls her into the dark underbelly of the city club scene, where she is torn by her desire to save him and an inexplicable urge to join him in his downward spiral. Worst of all, she is beginning to love everything she should run away from—a man who threatens to ignite in her a fire that could burn her alive…

Genres: New Adult, Romance, College, Contemporary, Contemporary Romance, Dark, Ebooks

400 pages, Paperback

First published August 5, 2014

About the author

The New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of Contemporary and New Adult romances including the Bad Rep, Find You in the Dark, Reclaiming the Sand, and Twisted Love series.

Follow her on-

Facebook: http://on.fb.me/1CkvffQ

Twitter: @AuthorAMWalters

Instagram: a.meredith.walters

Reviews

[Brandi · Rating 4 out of 5]

"It's so easy to criticize what you don't even try to understand. To pass judgment without looking at what's really there."



Lead Me Not is a messy romance, it's raw and painful. Love doesn't always come in pretty packages, that is for sure. Maxx and Aubrey's story was not easy to read. It is complicated and problematic, but I felt it. I felt every hopeful moment and every heart shattering disappointment. Can love compete with the fierce grip of addiction? Addiction is such a bitch, a destructive disease that devours and destroys, until there is nothing left of the person that once was.



This story will not be for everyone, but I think it was extremely well done. Having had personal experience with dealing with an addict, it is not easy. But love is love. Not everyone falls in love with the perfect person. Sometimes we fall in love with the imperfect, broken souls, the one person we desperately want to save even though we know the odds aren't in our favor. Is that love any less valuable, any less real?

Love made us stupid.
Love made us blind.
Love could incapacitate us and leave us powerless.
And love could also make everything better.
I couldn't let myself think anything else.

[Pavlina Read more sleep less blog · Rating 3 out of 5]

2,5 STARS

This book really perplexed me!So I decided that I must read it again!And I did it!!I didn't post any status because I wanted to be more concatrate and finally write my opinion about this one...The second time I read it was better because I understoond more things and now I can justify some of the characters' choices!This book is realistic.The author pragmatically us into one of the most prominent social phenomena,drugs.And how this affects the relationship between the user and other people.

Both characters were broken..for different reasons but somehow they have something in common.She is a student who is a drug counselor ,she has lost her sister from drugs and now she is in a group which help people who need help.She meets Max who is doing drugs..but also he has secrets...
What exactly makes her fall in love with him???
I really don't know..I even don't know how she fell in love so strongly for him...



Aubrey wasn't the best heroine...she pissed me a lot.I was wondering why she was with him..what she wanted?To save him??
I didn't feel that there is a relationship between them...or a friendship..

However the ending was interesting..making you to think what will happen...I saw that there will be a second book..I'm going to read it and see how the author will continue the story..
It's not an easy book and it's not happy...If you like realistic books then maybe it's for you....

[Jennifer Kyle · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 ~ 4 Stars

”Love was insanity at its most beautiful – a madness of desperation and desire that made the most improbable choice possible.”

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This is the story of Aubrey and Maxx. The story is written in dual pov which gifts the reader with insight into both characters. Aubrey Duncan is a drug counselor in training currently attending Longwood University. As part of her course completion, she must assist in facilitating a new group for drug addicts most of which are court mandated to attend.

Aubrey is drawn to Maxx and their connection is so strong that she is willing to lose her standing in the program to love a man who is appears to be heading downward pretty rapidly.

Maxx Demelo is a man who wears many masks. He is also attending Longwood and is an amazing artist and student. He’s sexy, arrogant, broken, sad, childlike, self-important and lost. Maxx loves the Maxx he is when he spends time with Aubrey and they do have a few cute times together. Sadly, his financial responsibilities, his self loathing and his desire to numb his feelings leave him victim to the very pills he pushes.

”I wished things could have been as easy as holding Aubrey’s hand and skipping off into the sunset of our happily ever after. I really wanted that.”



”They were at war against each other, Aubrey and the drugs. Both had a claim on me. I needed both. But they couldn’t coexist.”

Maxx works at the traveling club called Compulsion one of his hats there is dealing drugs. He uses the money to support his teen brother currently living with their loser uncle. The club, employees and all scenes were so very cool!

Maxx doesn’t think he has a true drug problem. He clings to Aubrey with guilty words, panic and tears trying to juggle the drugs and his responsibilities while losing his grip on everything he holds dear.

Overall, this was a good read I would have liked to be more connected to Aubrey and the couple could have been a bit more steamy. The conclusion of their story will be released sometime in 2015 which I would have liked to have known prior to picking it up. Is it that hard to put #1 next to the title? Anyway, I thought the writing was strong and the supporting characters were well done. I will more than likely continue with Maxx and Aubrey's story.

”This wasn’t some sort of cheesy romance where the love of a good woman saved the boy from his demons. If only it were that easy.”

[Glass · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lead Me Not was my first book by A. Meredith Walters and it was a love at first reading. Beautiful and heartbreaking story about a girl who falls for a wrong guy will be a perfect choice for fans of new adult genre.



Feels like there's something broken inside... I've been listening new Coldplay album last few days and one of their songs was absolutely perfect as a soundtrack for this book - Ink. Aubrey and Maxx are definition of doomed couple - one thing that connects them is the one that will destroy them. Aubrey is trying to make up for all her mistakes from past and Maxx lives in delusion that he is in control of his life and addiction. She can't say no to him and he can't say no to the drugs. Vicious circle all the way until the end. You are frustrated with how thoughtless Aubrey acts sometimes, but emotions are not the rational part of human behavior and when it comes to the people we love, none of us can say that they are one hundred percent objective. Maxx is not bad guy and that is the worst part of whole situation - you can see what he can be and you even understand his reasoning for everything he had done. Lead Me Not is a story that will make your heart hurt.



So what if there are few clichés? Like every new adult novel, this one is full of angst, bad decisions, forbidden love and drama, but still it's nothing that will bother anyone who loves NA. It is even "mellow" when you compare it with some other novels.

This is not a standalone. Nope, there will be a sequel, it should be published next year and I can't wait to see what will happen with Maxx and Aubrey.

Review posted at Ja čitam, a ti?

[Lucia]

DNF at 56%

My Aubrey and Maxx:


Good girl trying to deal with her loss and rebelious boy heading to destruction. Is Lead Me Not a story about girl trying to save a boy? Or a story about boy tempting girl to join the "dark side"?

Unfortunatelly, I don't have answers to these questions. I couldn't be bothered to stick around long enough to find out. Story didn't grab me, writing didn't stand out to me and I found overall reading experience quite average. I lacked the spark between main protagonists and that is always a bad sign.

Lately, it is very hard to find something unique and out of norm when it comes to oversaturated NA genre. But that is just my personal opinion. However, if you are hardcore NA fan, I suggest to check other reviews, you may end up enjoying this book.

*ARC provided by publisher as an exchange for honest review*

MORE REVIEWS ON MY BLOG Reading Is My Breathing

[Jasmine · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 MISLEADING STARS ★★★☆

"Love was insanity at its most beautiful - a madness of desperation and desire that made the most improbable choice possible."

Lead Me Not tells a story of a good girl trying to save a rebellious boy whose life is spiraling downwards due to drug addiction. This being my first book from A. Meredith Walters, I didn't go in expecting too much. I've heard praises for her angsty writing & being in the mood for some good angst, I decided to pick up this book.

The story talks about Aubrey Duncan, a college student who is training to be a drug counselor after losing her younger sister, Jayne to drugs a few years ago. Since the incident, she has been carrying the guilt around and blaming herself for not being able to save her. She tries to be a fixer, devoting her life to help others and in a way, is seeking her own redemption for the incident that took her sister away.

While helping to facilitate a drug addiction group as part of her course, she was instantly drawn to Maxx Demelo, an addict who is also a student at the same university. What Aubrey didn't know initially was that when Maxx is not busy being a good student attending support group, he is actually helping an underground club, Compulsion to scout for places and dealing drugs to support his younger brother financially.

Maxx is that dangerous, sexy kind of bad boy but beneath that, he is a broken soul, confused and lost. He's an addict & driven by the amount of self-loathe he inflicts on himself, he continuously resorts to the pills to lose himself. But after meeting Aubrey, he realizes that she may be the only thing he needs more than his addiction for drugs.

"Being with Aubrey made me feel, for one perfect moment, that maybe, just maybe, I could be someone else."

In an overview, this story sounds a like a perfect recipe of a destructive relationship. Maxx loves Aubrey and Aubrey wants to save him, but Maxx will always have to choose between the addiction and the girl he loves.

"They were at war against each other, Aubrey and the drugs. Both had a claim on me. I needed both. But they couldn’t coexist.”

I personally felt that Walters has captured the addiction part well in this story; how it affects a person & what drives a person to make choices even when they're the wrong ones. The struggles that Maxx dealt with were depicted well & I could feel some of the raw emotions going on.

So why did I give it 3.5 stars?

I had a problem understanding Aubrey. For a person who has lost someone dearly to addiction, I find myself confused & baffled with some of the choices she made during her relationship with Maxx. At times, I find her like a walking contradiction and rather hypocritical for someone who has experienced loss and has a life mission to help others with addiction. For example, she blamed herself for Jayne's death because she looked the other away even when she knew her sister was doing drugs. In the present, during one time when she saw Maxx doing/dealing drugs at the club, she pretty much did nothing to confront him and at the end of night, left the club alone feeling disappointed that Maxx would choose drugs over her..

I honestly felt that she should have stood strong on her ground with Maxx sometimes but mostly it always get consumed with the indecisiveness of her feelings for Maxx & leaving her to walk away from him. Sadly, this happens quite a few times throughout the book & it kinda irked me.

Also I couldn't really connect well with Aubrey and part of me wondered if her relationship with Maxx is truly built on love or because she just wants to save him as part of seeking redemption for herself. There was just lack of depth in her character, her motives seem unclear & I couldn't find myself warming up to her at all =\



Overall, still a good angsty read with some great solid writing from Walters. The dual POV definitely helped gave a better insight especially from Maxx's POV. But somewhere along 50% into the book, it definitely felt like I was watching a trainwreck. Watching all the bad choices being made by Maxx & knowing how Aubrey would react to them, I found myself having difficulty to understand how they could sustain a relationship in this manner.

I also felt cheated to find out by the end of the book that this is actually part of a series and the sequel is due in 2015. Despite that this book ended in a relatively safe place without a major cliffhanger, I'm not entirely happy with the idea of having to wait for 6 months+ to see where it goes on from here. Otherwise, I wouldn't have picked this up so soon :(

[Andie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gripping, powerful, raw, emotional, heartbreaking.

Story of a girl who falls in love with a deeply troubled boy. He's bad for her and has the potential to drag her straight down to hell with him, if she'll let him. This book pulled out all the feels and some parts were a little difficult to read but wow was it good! Definitely recommend!

"The reality I faced on the outside was something else entirely. I didn't have the freedom to call my own shots. I clawed through life with bloodied fingers."

"I could be her white rabbit. She just needed to follow me where I wanted to lead her."

[Aestas Book Blog]

SQUEEEE!!!! New upcoming book from the author of one of my favorite books, Find You In The Dark.



In this dangerously sexy novel, a straight-laced college student meets a handsome but enigmatic stranger who lures her into an underground club scene, where she finds it difficult to resist temptation

Aubrey Duncan understands loss. She knows what rock bottom looks like, and she is determined to crawl back up to the top after the sudden death of her younger sister. She blames herself for her part in the tragedy, convinced that she could have done something, anything, to help her.

In her effort to gain redemption, Aubrey starts fresh at Longwood University and facilitates an addiction support group, hoping she can support someone else in the way she failed her sister. But what she doesn’t count on is an all-consuming fascination with group member Maxx Demelo, a gorgeous, blond, blue-eyed enigma who hides dark secrets behind a carefully constructed mask. He only reveals what he wants others to see. But Aubrey glimpses another Maxx hidden below the surface—a Maxx who is drowning in his own personal hell.

As Aubrey and Maxx develop an attraction too intense to ignore, he pulls her into the dark underbelly of the city club scene, where she is torn by her desire to save him and an inexplicable urge to join him in his downward spiral. Worst of all, she is beginning to love everything she should run away from—a man who threatens to ignite in her a fire that could burn her alive…

[Michelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

When Aubrey gets assigned to facilitate a group session at her college, as part of her goal to become a counselor, she never expected to be pulled in by the blue-eyed boy named Maxx. But between glimpses of the vulnerable lost boy and the confident man; she soon finds herself drowning in him.

Maxx didn’t think he had a problem. But as he gets deeper and deeper, his need to be numb is only rivaled by one thing. Her. Aubrey. Balancing the highs and the lows is becoming far too difficult and making the wrong choice might just cost him the girl he loves.

Okay. So this book had such great potential to knock me on my ass. But sadly it did not. I found it incredibly difficult to connect to Aubrey at all. She was this character that was expected to have made it her life’s mission to save those who could not save themselves. A way to make up for the mistake of her past. But yet, she was so blind to all things addiction that I just couldn’t fit her into this story in the setup we are given. Nothing that she did for anyone in this book, whether it be her friend Brooks, roommate Renee or lover, Maxx was in anyway helpful. Her behavior was that of a chronic enabler. On a personal note, this subject is something that is close to my heart. I’ve watched loved ones succumb to addiction, I’ve watched them survive it and more times than not, watched it destroy them. I’ve been the friend on the outside watching the destruction, I’ve been the friend sitting graveside wondering what I could have done differently. The one thing, however I have not been – was the girl that was putting myself in the middle of the storm with my blinders on, willing to watch it all happen without putting up one helluva fight. This is where Aubrey lost me. She held no conviction for her beliefs and the whole, savior role she was set up for made a small appearance for a brief moment at the end.

For Maxx, I think his character was done well. I was able to feel a bit of connection with him as we weave between the moments of sobriety and the highs. I think the most powerful moments in this story were had by Maxx. But that just wasn’t enough to carry the story.

In the end, I was not a fan of Aubrey and that impacted me greatly. Maxx spoke to me and reminded me so much of moments in my past. In that aspect the story was a struggle in more than just the lack of connection – there were times when it did pull me into a dark place, but the one thing that it really did not do was cause me to become an emotional mess. I thought this book would destroy me, maybe having my own experiences with this – numbed me to that aspect. This is the kind of story that has the power to rock you to your core, but for me that just didn’t happen this time.

I am a fan of this author’s work and although Aubrey & Maxx did not hit the exact mark I wanted them to, I will read part two of this series. I need to see where they go, I really hope that Aubrey sees her involvement with Maxx and looks at her future differently.

[AJ · Rating 4 out of 5]

“You’ll miss out on some amazing things in life if you can’t look past your nose to see the beauty that’s out there in the most unconventional places. And complexity isn’t ugliness. It’s the complication that makes it worth it.”

4 raw, emotional and angsty stars

Wow, what a read! A. Meredith Walters writes wonderfully raw and emotional stories, and she’s done a great job with this one! Taking us into the dark and dirty world that is drug addiction, she has given us an amazing story of love, loss, desperation and pain, and I absolutely devoured it!

Aubrey Duncan has endured the devastating loss of her baby sister to drug addiction which left her completely broken. She has picked herself up and is now in college studying to be an addictions counsellor, desperate to save others from suffering the same fate as her beloved sister. One of the members of her support group is Maxx Demelo, and from the first moment she sees him, there is something about the enigmatic bad boy that fascinates her.

Maxx is a man who is lost. In his efforts to support his younger brother, he started dealing, only to become hooked on his product, and he has been sucked into a dark underworld that he cannot escape from. Plagued by anger and self-loathing he both despises and craves his tablets, thinking he can be free of them but desperate for the peace that they give him as they numb him to the pain in his life.

Aubrey wants to help Maxx, but she definitely feels something more for him, and Maxx is equally as enamoured. Of course, any interaction between Aubrey and Maxx’s is strictly forbidden, but they can’t fight their attraction to each other, and they find themselves powerless to resist the emotion brewing between them.

“Don’t leave me,” he whispered, his words making me shiver.
I covered his hands, which held my face, with mine and stared up into eyes that pleaded with to me to stay. “You scare me,” I told him honestly.
He leaned down and rested his forehead against mine. He took deep, raspy breaths. “I scare myself,” he said.

The emotional connection between these two was beautifully explored. From their initial attraction, to the sweet and tender moments that were so incredibly meaningful to them both as they opened up and got to know each other, and fell for each other despite the hurdles standing in their way.

“Why can’t you just be Maxx Demelo? I kind of like that guy,” I said, cupping my hand behind his neck.
Maxx smirked, a ghost of the smile I was familiar with. “I can be so much more for you. I want to be everything you could ever want.”
… “I just want you,” I told him, hoping he heard me.
“And I want you, Aubrey. All of you. Every tiny, perfect part. I want you to belong to me, only to me, so that you’ll never leave. Please don’t leave,” he whispered, a choking plea.
God, how could I deny him anything? He was practically shoving his heart into my hands, insisting that I take it. He wasn’t giving me a choice. And even if I had been given one, I knew the decision I would make. I would hold on to him – his heart, his soul – with everything I had.

“Being with Aubrey made me feel, for one perfect moment, that maybe, just maybe, I could be someone else.”

“You need to know that if you decide to do this with me, I’ll never be able to let you go. Not ever.”

But it’s not that easy. Because with all of that sweetness comes the other side of their relationship – the desperate, chaotic mess that is Maxx and the hell he is living in, and Aubrey's desperate need to save him.

“They were at war against each other, Aubrey and the drugs. Both had a claim on me. I needed both. But they couldn’t coexist.”

He was slowly being eaten alive. It was like watching a car driving full speed toward a brick wall. The sinking feeling of helplessness I remembered all too well made me momentarily immobile.
I would fail him.
I would lose him…

I am one of the fortunate and sadly rare people that haven’t had drugs and addiction touch my life, or the life of a loved one, so reading this was like having a glimpse into a dark and seedy world that exists outside of my everyday life, and it’s both terrifying heartbreaking! I love how AMW wrote this book from both Aubrey and Maxx’s POVs, so we get to see both sides of the story – Maxx’s hatred and guilt over what he is doing, but his desperation to be free of the pain he lives with every day, and Aubrey’s struggle to love a man who is stuck in a never-ending cycle of destruction.

Both sides of the story were beautifully written, and both were tragic and heartbreaking. They are in an impossible situation, which is only made worse by the forbidden nature of their relationship, and as Aubrey is sucked deeper and deeper into Maxx’s world, she is forced to face her past, and figure out what she wants from her future, and what she is prepared to sacrifice to get it.

My feelings for Maxx were causing me to make decisions I never would have made in the past. I was forgetting about everything that had mattered to me, potentially throwing it all away to save a boy I was pretty sure didn’t want to be saved.
Love made us stupid.
Love made us blind.
Love could incapacitate us and leave us powerless.
And love could also make everything better.
I couldn’t let myself think anything less.

This is an angsty, raw, gritty story with amazingly emotive writing. AMW takes us into a dark and dirty world that is as frustrating as it is heartbreaking, and it’s like watching a train wreck. You’re waiting for the inevitable crash to come, but you can’t stop reading, and just get sucked more and more into the story, feeling everything that the characters are feeling, and desperate for them to find their way through it all but not knowing how they can possibly make that happen.

The book ends with Aubrey and Maxx’s story very much unfinished, but it’s not a desperate cliffhanger. I’m really curious to see where the story is going to go from here, and can’t wait to continue on with the next book.

4 stars.

Note - I listened to this as an audiobook, and the narration by Shayna Thibodeaux and Sebastian York was sensational! I highly recommend listening to this one!

[The Hopeless Romantics Book Blog · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book Gifted for Honest Review

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Love made us stupid. Love made us blind.
Love could incapacitate us and leave us powerless.
And love could make everything better.

A. Meredith Walters books are far from ordinary. Her story lines are different and her characters... well they're unique, nothing like I've ever read before and that (my fellow readers) is what brings me back to this author's writing time and time again. "Lead Me Not" was no exception. Be prepared to hand over your emotions as you turn the first page because this book will leave you feeling all sorts: frustration, anger, disbelief but mostly, an overwhelming sense of sadness.

He was something primal and unfettered- a force that would take everything and everyone down with him, burning it all in a violent flame. And then afterwards he would dance on the ashes.

Maxx and Aubrey story was born from addictions... very different addictions but addictions all the same. Unfortunately the problem with addictions was that they came with cravings and cravings... well they needed feeding and so the vicious cycle began. There was nothing formulaic about the love they shared. If anything, it was all consuming, it was tragic, it was destructive and ultimately what unraveled made for car crash reading. There was no fluttering of butterflies. There was no overwhelming sense of excitement. And hearts and flowers... definitely not. What I got were two characters who were so flawed and so broken, who were crying out for help in their own way and who were ultimately in need of saving. The question was: could they save each other or had they reached the point of no return, dragging the other into their own personal hell?

This wasn't a story with a happy ending. Maxx and I weren't going to live that perfect life with the white picket fence. The only life we could have together was ugly, messy and destructive. And I knew without a doubt it would kill us both.

Maxx and Aubrey's characters left me conflicted and I think it was more to do with the fact that I could see what lay ahead for them, the downward spiral that was going to destroy them. Poor choices and bad decisions only accelerated the process and that in turn left me frustrated but also saddened. I wanted to help, I wanted to shout at them. I wanted them to wake up and smell the coffee but that never happens... not even in reality. Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom to realise all that you've lost and as such, A.Meredith Walters stayed true to the story line and to the characters. Instead of trying to please the reader, she gave a very realistic, honest account of what Maxx and Aubrey were going through and it was ugly... soul shatteringly ugly.

"I've found my way into hell, and wanting salvation is the only thing that keeps me going."

"Lead Me Not" was a story that had layers and each layer gave me another dimension to Aubrey and Maxx's story. It made me see the characters in a different light adding twists to their already messed up story. Their book was compelling and it was unputdownable. I read well into the night because I needed to know how their story would conclude... well I'm just going to put it out there. This was never going to end with a HEA... and when you start reading it, you'll understand why. However what came was a natural turn of events... something that was inevitable I guess. I can't wait for more from this couple and if I were you, come release day, I'd get clicking. You won't be disappointed. I rated "Lead Me Not" 5 soul destroying hearts.

[Paula · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars. Wow, does A. Meredith Walters know how to write a gripping, honest, raw book?!?! I haven't read too many books about addiction, so this one really piqued my curiosity. This book was gritty and real and hard to read at times. I felt like I was sucked into what the characters were going through. I absolutely appreciate when you can tell that the author put the work in to researching the material that they are writing about and I feel like A. Meredith Walters did just that. The story felt genuine. I've heard that there will be more to the story and I look forward to reading it.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let me start off this review by saying that Lead Me Not is one of the most emotionally raw stories I have ever had the extreme pleasure of reading. This was my first A. Meredith Walters book and I can honestly state that this story alone moved her into my top ten favorite authors.
Lead Me Not is a story of addiction. Aubrey, the main character is studying to be an addiction counselor after suffering a tragic personal loss a few years prior. Through a support group she is introduced to Maxx. Maxx is attractive and charismatic. He's also an addict. Aubrey knows she needs to stay away but she is continuously drawn back to Maxx and his world even as she tries to bring him into hers.
I loved that Walters didn't shy away or gloss over the addiction in this story. In fact, while reading this story I felt like there were three main characters instead of just two, Aubrey, Maxx and addiction. As someone that has watched friends suffer through addictions of various types this story made me a complete wreck.
From the first sentence I was hooked and as I got closer and closer to the end, I just kept praying for more.
If you're looking for something light and fun, this is not the right choice for you. But if you're in the mood to read a book that stays with you days after you finish reading it then I highly suggest picking this book up! I can't wait to read more by this author!
*I was provided an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review*

[Bj · Rating 3 out of 5]

*I gave this audiobook a C+ for the story and a C- for Shayna Thibodeaux's narration and a B+ for Sebastian York's at AudioGals*

Lead Me Not left me at kind of a loss of words. I went in expecting one thing, and I came away with a totally different experience, and not necessarily one that I would have signed up for had I known in advance. Specifically, I came away with a feeling that this story was really more about addiction than romance. Perhaps that will be remedied in Book 2, Follow Me Back, which is scheduled to be released in June 2015. As I generally only read romance titles, however, I was a little taken aback by the more general fiction feel and somewhat hopeless overlay. Additionally, I was not expecting a cliffhanger, and while I wouldn’t render it a crazy, completely unexpected twist at the end, I did find it to be the antithesis of what I typically expect in a romance novel.

For the full review, please see AudioGals.

[✿kawehi.reviews]

*I received an ARC via the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Thank you!!*

[Farah · Rating 3 out of 5]

A whole lot of repetition and a girl seriously with no sense.
I was frustrated a lot!!

[Ursula Uriarte · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heart totally ripped out of my chest :'(

[Cézanne Hayden-Dilbert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sometimes you go into a book and you just know is going to destroy your emotions. Lead Me Not was that sort of book. A Meredith Walters completely broke me in the most wonderful way. This story left me with an ache in my chest and my emotions all over the place. It felt so real, so raw, and so honest, I truly felt as if I was experiencing it. It wasn’t an easy read but it was an amazing story.

Aubrey is this beautiful and smart student. She’s studying to be a drug counselor at her university. She lost her younger sister Jamie to a drug overdose three years ago. She hasn’t fully dealt with her loss and since then she’s wanted to help others in that situation. She wants to fix things. Aubrey is all about control, order, and her academics. Things are normally very black and white in her world. Her relationship with her parents is strained and other than her friend Brooks and Renee, she doesn’t form many friendships. When she starts facilitating a drug abuse program she meets Maxx.


Maxx, was the very opposite of Aubrey. He had this energy and magnetism that captivated everyone around him. Maxx is smart, talented, and he’s an addict. They share a connection with each other but starting a relationship with Aubrey is something he knows he shouldn’t do. He’s a broken man and he harbors so much guilt and self-doubt. She’s the first person he’s needs and he doesn’t want to let her go and despite herself Aubrey desperately wants to be with him and to save him.

Maxx desperately loved Aubrey and she loved him but his addiction controlled him. I know Maxx and Aubrey’s relationship was toxic but when they were together it was amazing. I wanted for Maxx to be able to get past his addictions and I wanted to Aubrey to be able to help him. My heart hurt for them both and I was sad and angry at Maxx’s choices but my heart also broke for him. There were so many different elements to this story and so many choices to be made. As much as she wanted him, Maxx was slowly becoming Aubrey’s addiction and she had to choose to either save him or save herself.

This story sucked me in and I didn’t want it to end but I was desperate to see how it all would turn out. This is a story that will stick with me. The ending wasn’t perfect but it was so honest and I’m anxious to see how their story will end.

[Smitten's Book Blog]

★ COVER REVEAL ★
Lead Me Not, by A. Meredith Walters



From the author of Find You in the Dark and Bad Rep. This looks brilliant!!

Release date: August 5th, 2014

Pre Order Now
UK AMAZON: http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/A...
US AMAZON: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASI...

BLURB:
In this dangerously sexy novel from the New York Times bestselling author of Find You in the Dark, a straight-laced college student meets a handsome but enigmatic stranger who lures her into an underground club scene, where she finds it difficult to resist temptation…
Aubrey Duncan understands loss. She knows what rock bottom looks like, and she is determined to crawl back up to the top after the sudden death of her younger sister. She blames herself for her part in the tragedy, convinced that she could have done something, anything, to help her.
In her effort to gain redemption, Aubrey starts fresh at Longwood University and facilitates an addiction support group, hoping she can support someone else in the way she failed her sister. But what she doesn’t count on is an all-consuming fascination with group member Maxx Demelo, a gorgeous, blond, blue-eyed enigma who hides dark secrets behind a carefully constructed mask. He only reveals what he wants others to see. But Aubrey glimpses another Maxx hidden below the surface—a Maxx who is drowning in his own personal hell.
As Aubrey and Maxx develop an attraction too intense to ignore, he pulls her into the dark underbelly of the city club scene, where she is torn by her desire to save him and an inexplicable urge to join him in his downward spiral. Worst of all, she is beginning to love everything she should run away from—a man who threatens to ignite in her a fire that could burn her alive…

[Leo · Rating 5 out of 5]

When Aubrey starts university she decides to join the support group to help people with addictions. She had a sister who passed away in a drug addiction so she hopes she can help others not come to the same fate. But things don't get as planed when she falls for one of the guys in the support group Maxx. This isn't ha feelgood, romantic story. This is raw, bitter and infuriating. You'll get mad at Maxx not quiting and you'll be frustrated on Aubery not getting away. But its realistic, addiction isn't pretty by any means and I think this books shows how horrible it is. Its even more horrible and tragic in reality. I will definitely continue on with the series I need to know what going to happen to Aubery and Maxx. It's devastating but good. To me this book feels personal in a way. Haven't been a drug user but I have had addictions nevertheless.

[Megan • Reading Books Like a Boss (book blog) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Lead Me Not is the first book I've read by author A. Meredith Walters. While I want to read her other books, I don't think I'll be continuing with this series. Aubrey and Maxx's relationship, as passionate as it was, wasn't particularly romantic to me, but perhaps it's due to the addiction storyline.

The story centers around aspiring counselor and college student Aubrey Duncan and the man in her support group, Maxx Demelo. Years ago, Aubrey lost her sister to a drug overdose and now she uses that tragedy to help others battling the same addiction. Along with a fellow faculty staff member, Aubrey co-facilitates a drug support meeting. There, she meets Maxx Demelo, who can't seem to keep his eyes off of her. Outside of these meetings, the universe clearly wants them to get to know one another because they run into each other.

She and her best friend Brooks frequent a local underground club and major drug selling operation to make sure her roommate, Renee, is safe. At the club she meets this mysterious guy, to whom she feels this sizzling magnetic pull, but she is unable to see his face. Each time, he saves her from a potentially dangerous situation.

This story is the classic good girl meets bad boy story. Maxx has a lot of baggage. His mother passed away and his father squandered all of the money Maxx gives to support his little brother Landon. Weighed down with responsibility, Maxx started selling drugs to help his brother and then using them to help his trouble mind. Aubrey and Maxx spend more time outside of group together and fall hard for each other.

Supposedly, Aubrey has experience working with drug addicts and even lost her sister to addiction, yet she finds herself knee-deep in an unhealthy relationship that begins to spiral out of control. I think the author was trying to show the reader that sometimes the person you love isn't perfect, but here I just didn't understand what Aubrey saw in Maxx. Aside from Maxx's determination to care for his brother, I found very little appealing to his character.

When Aubrey sees the "mysterious" man at the club, she can't stop thinking about him, but her draw to him wasn't even explained. The reader was asked to accept it. Further, when Aubrey sees Maxx in support group she obsesses over what he would be like in bed. What? Why? Their chemistry felt manufactured, rather than organic and I couldn't become invested in their love story. Their relationship went from nothing to sex with little build up.

I guess the point of this story is to showcase the power of love against the odds. Lead Me Not, while showcasing a realistic portrayal of addiction, seems to romanticize the message of "love can change him" and I didn't like that.

After finishing this book, I have an idea where the sequel, Follow Me Back, will go, but I don't think I'll continue the series. This story could have easily been wrapped up in this book, especially considering this was a very long book. Both characters went through enough and I am not really interested in witnessing more drama between the two of them.

Audiobook Comments: I love Shayna Thibodeaux (a.k.a. Candace Thaxton) and Sebastian York. I thought Shayna's narration was spot-on and wonderful. I think Sebastian's performance was done really well. However (I can't believe I'm going to say this), I don't think Yorkie's is right for all new adult/college age romances. He sounded a little too mature for Maxx's voice, but he did a wonderful job.

2 stars

* I received this audiobook from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

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[Cristal · Rating 4 out of 5]

"I don’t want this.
If only it were true. Too bad want and need were two entirely different things.
Sure, I didn’t want this. But my body sure as hell needed it."

Lead Me Not by A. Meredith Walters is a rip-you-to-shreds, bleed-you-dry, wound-your-soul love story. This story will tear away all your preconceived notions, while still frustrating the shit out of you. It’s the tale of a tumultuous, tenuous love between a lost boy, the girl who tries to save him, and the siren that he can’t resist.

Maxx is dangerous. He's the worst kind of bad boy; he's a broken boy. Having lost love early, he’s left with a world of responsibility, drowning in his obligations; desperately latching on to anything that’ll keep him afloat. When we meet Maxx he’s cocky, sure, and deceptive. As he pulls us in we’re helpless to resist.

"I knew the way people looked at me, and I fucking loved it…I was a guy that mattered. I was a guy with power and control."

But Maxx is losing his grip on the carefully crafted world he’s created, and as the story unfolds, Walters expertly, and beautifully conveys the dark hopelessness of Maxx’s cage.

Aubrey thinks she can save him. She’s seeking her own redemption, trying to forgive herself the guilt she feels for not saving her sister when she saw her self-destruct. She’s putting her career on the line, risking everything she’s worked so hard to achieve so that she can free Maxx from his prison.

"I would fight for the life I wanted with everything I had – even if that meant a hefty dose of denial, denial, denial."

Maxx is Aubrey’s drug. She knows that he’s dangerous to her health and sanity, that he has the power to crush her, but she just doesn’t have the will to walk away. She believes that she is that girl, the one who could save him from the maelstrom of addiction, rage, and denial. Unfortunately, she’s battling a bitch that has her claws deeply entrenched, and in order to win she’ll have to risk it all.

These two characters are deeply flawed, and they will cause you to rage and despair. Walters doesn’t gloss over the struggles that Maxx and Aubrey have to overcome. She doesn’t dilute the stark emotional turmoil you’ll experience by making things pretty. You will feel intensely, and if you approach this story with an open mind, Lead Me Not will provoke your prejudices, and hopefully allow you to feel empathetic to those who struggle to cope with life’s hardships.

I feel passionately about this story because I feel passionately about books that honestly portray the human condition. We really just want to be happy, as corny as that sounds. We want love and we want happiness. Unfortunately life doesn't happen smoothly. We get are hearts broken, we lose the ones we love, and it's hard to just stay strong and positive. Some people flounder - some struggle to stay afloat, and some drown.

This book put me through the wringer, and in the end I was crying, but I was also smiling. The story ended on a tenuously hopeful note, that satisfied my need for closure, but still left the door open for more of Maxx and Aubrey. Lead Me Not was my introduction to A. Meredith Walters, and this first impression was a good impression, and a lasting one. Read this book people! Don’t let your fears and set opinions deter you from experiencing this wonderful story.

"You’ll miss out on some amazing things in life if you can’t look past your nose to see the beauty that’s out there in the most unconventional places. And complexity isn’t ugliness. It’s the complication that makes it worth it."

[Red Cheeks Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book so much. This is my very first time reading A. Meredith Walters and I was blown away. Lead Me Not was gritty, dark, raw, and sexy. Sometimes I get this ache in my belly reading. It is the one where you know what should happen but you don’t want it to. The one where the angst is almost too much. The story is almost too overwhelming. I love being at that almost point. I love that ache in my belly. I love feeling so incredibly attached and devoted to the characters I am reading. Lead Me Not gave me all those feelings. It was simply breath taking.

Lead Me Not is really a story of addiction; how it starts, who it affects in our lives, and ultimately how it destroys us. Aubrey lost her sister to drugs. She wants to devote her life to helping others who suffer from addiction, but when she meets Maxx, she knows that she wants to do more than help him. She cannot seem to stay away from him, no matter the cost, and Maxx is in just as deep.



Their love story was simply gut wrenching until the very end. Maxx was so insanely needy and Aubrey wanted so badly to be needed. You just know the whole time that it isn’t healthy but want so badly for them to work through it. I wanted to badly for Aubrey to save Maxx.

“She filled me with anticipation and something else entirely-a desire to be something better.”

Besides the angst filled story of Maxx addicted to drugs and Aubrey addicted to helping Maxx, you get a good dose of mystery. The paintings, the underground raves, the other women, the best friends; it all blends so well to make such a mesmerizing story. It captured me at page one and kept me turning the pages, reading it all in one sitting.

The book was written SO well. Meredith’s writing is so eloquent and emotion provoking. The ending. Well, I don’t really know how to feel about it. It was right but wrong. It was sad but happy. I do know that I cannot wait until 2015!

“I’ve been waiting my entire life for you.”
“I want this, forever,”

Amie

[Claire Riley · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Meredith Walters has done it again. I don't know how she manages to do it to me every time. She takes a raw, gritty, dark subject and makes me fall in love with the characters--both good and bad (of which there are plenty) and the story-line also, and then breaks my heart, several times.


I won't re-hash the plot, but let's just say. Don't do drugs kids!
It's a slow book, in a good way, one you get to devour and fall into, one that takes you on a journey into the hearts and minds of our MC's- Aubrey and Maxx. Both have dark secrets, and pasts that they would both prefer to forget--but can't. And both need each other way more than each of them want to believe.

Can they save each other in time? Does Maxx even deserve to be saved? If you want a raw, emotional read that will make you question your own morals as well as other peoples, then this is for you.

Well written, and beautifully thought provoking. But then again, I never expected anything less from her.

[Avid Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Love was insanity at its most beautiful - a madness of desperation and desire that made the most improbable choice possible."

This was a tough one. It was not an easy read. Not because the story wasn't great. It was. In fact, it was exceptional. This was tough to read because it was honest. Raw and honest to the point of discomfort. Aubrey’s connection to Maxx is more disconcerting than Maxx's connection to her. Logically, Aubrey understands that every choice she makes concerning Maxx is a bad one. She still cannot resist. Her addition to him is just as dangerous as his addiction issues. Witnessing this is brutal. Maxx and his issues are heartbreaking. His character is damaged from the beginning and only gets worse as the story goes on.

I have read a lot of reviews stating that the reader didn’t like Aubrey, but I cannot say the same. I don’t think we were meant to like or dislike her. We just needed to hear her story. Her undoing is so subtle that once you realize she is ruined, it’s too late. All along you know what she is doing. You don’t agree, but you get it. You shake your Kindle and you yell at the pages, but you keep watching the train wreck to see what will happen next. For me, it all made sense. Dysfunctional, desperate-for-a-connection sense. I was suddenly remembering every stupid choice I made for every stupid boy while I was in my early twenties. (Shakes head and moves on…)

”I wished things could have been as easy as holding Aubrey’s hand and skipping off into the sunset of our happily ever after. I really wanted that.”

Because Aubrey loses herself in Maxx, his chances of recovery are nil. I must say, regardless of his myriad of issues the sleeping in his own vomit thing, I loved this character. In fact, I think I knew him in college. He was a mess. Aubrey was a mess. Her roommate was a mess. Wait… it’s college. They are all a mess. No one knows who they are or what they want and it is all completely accurate.

This story was written as a duet and you will want the second book, Follow Me Back , immediately.

Summing it up: exceptional, heartbreaking, brutal, raw, honest, ruined, messy and utterly brilliant. I will read anything A. Meredith Walters writes. She hasn’t let me down let.

5 Stars and moving quickly into Follow Me Back to feel a semblance of reparation. Bravo, Ms. Walters.

[Diana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't understand some of the low ratings for this book, but then again, maybe I do. I felt connected to the characters because I felt like I could relate to Aubrey. Not her life, or being a facilitator in an addiction support group and falling for one of the members; I connected with falling in love with an addict, because I've been there. I know the emotions that come from loving someone whose addictions turn them into someone you don't recognize. You feel guilty if you think you're abandoning them; you feel hopeful that you can save them; you feel ashamed for always coming back to them when they apologize and promise they will get it together; you feel embarrassed because you know that the outside world is judging and wondering how you could love that person; you feel scared that you could lose them; you feel betrayed when they break promises that their addiction will never let them keep; and then you feel angry at yourself because you take them back after the promises have been broken, but you just can't let them go.

I was reluctant to start this book because of some of the reviews I've read, but then I revisited my 'to read' list and decided to give it go. I'm glad I did because it evoked so many emotions, and I couldn't help but feel empathy for Aubrey because in my own way, I've walked in her shoes. I also connected with her roommate Renee, because I've walked in her shoes too, only in my case, my boyfriend was a combination of Aubrey's boyfriend Maxx and Renee's boyfriend Devon.

I am truly impressed with how the author captured so many of the feelings, emotions, and thought processes of both the addict and the person who loved him. It was so authentic that I wondered if the author had some first-hand insight into this type of relationship.

As much as I connected with this book, I can see why others wouldn't. At face value, I can see how Aubrey's behaviour could seem perplexing and irresponsible to other readers, especially given her past and what happened to her sister, Jayme. I think that's why reading can be so personal. Our experiences can shape our beliefs, and we are drawn to things we understand. In this case, I was surprised at how much I related to Aubrey's struggle, the sacrifices she made and the values she compromised.

**For Sons of Anarchy fans, this almost reminds me of the scene in season 6 where Tara catches Jax cheating on her and they have a confrontation where she is visibly shaken and in shock and is holding a gun and basically saying, "who am I? Look what you've done to me. Are you happy with who you've helped me become?" (Those are not direct quotes, but fans of SOA will know just the scene I'm talking about.) She had been through so much to be with the person she loved, and no matter the sacrifices she made or the values she compromised, she could never change him or the life he chose to lead, despite the danger and havoc it brought to her and her family.**

I'm so grateful to no longer be caught up in that world, but strangely enough, reading about another character's experience loving someone with an addiction was oddly comforting (for lack of a better word). I was engaged throughout the entire book, and will definitely be reading the next book in this series.

[Lindy · Rating 4 out of 5]

My Thoughts:

Lead Me Not is the first book in the Twisted Love Series. I hadn't read anything prior to this story by Ms. Walters. Lead Me Not is a story that takes readers in to the dark abyss that is drug addiction. This story is filled with angst, obsession, co-dependency, and makes the reader feel a vast array of emotions.

In Lead Me Not, we meet Aubrey Duncan and Maxx Demelo. Aubrey lost her younger sister to a heroin addiction three years ago. She blames herself for not being there to save her sister. Due to this tragic loss in her life, she has decided to become a drug counselor. While in her third year of college, she is given a position as a co-facilitator for the addiction support group on campus.

Maxx Demelo is forced to attend the support group as part of his probation agreement. When he meets Aubrey, he can't help but feel that she see's through his carefully constructed facade in to the person he really is. Maxx can't stay away from Aubrey, and soon his persistence, charisma, and charming persona win her over. Aubrey attempts to resist the magnetic pull and attraction that she feels towards Maxx, but is unable to resist him. Unfortunately, Max has a very strong drug addiction to Oxycontin. With every decision Aubrey and Maxx make, there are heavy consequences. Where will their decisions lead them?

Lead Me Not was a dark and realistic portrayal of the underground club scene, drug addiction, and unhealthy relationships. It was a story that moved me. The author completely drew me in with her vivid descriptions, and three-dimensional main characters. The plot had a few twists, and was pretty intense. This story was raw, and powerful. It did not sugarcoat anything. Ms. Walters showed us the ugly truth, when it comes to the desperation a drug addict feels, and what lengths they're willing to go through to get their next high.

Neither Aubrey, nor Maxx made good decisions. However, it was easy to see that Aubrey came from a place where she was desperate to be needed, and wanted to save Maxx, as she was unable to save her sister. Maxx may have loved Aubrey in his own way, but his "love" for drugs, and need to escape life's pressures outweighed everything else in his life.

Aubrey and Maxx had a passionate, and intense love affair; I would say to the point where it bordered on obsession, and addiction towards one another. This story ends as a to be continued, and the next book in the series, Follow Me Back, comes out June 2, 2015.

My Rating:

I give, Lead Me Not, by A. Meredith Walters, 4 Dark, Twisted Addiction, Obsessive Love, Angst Filled Stars! Fans of Jessica Sorensen's Nova Series, will enjoy this story!



*To Read More Book Reviews, Visit A Bookish Escape at http://www.abookishescape.com

[☆Angel☆ · Rating 4 out of 5]

As I'm writing this review, I'm listening to Hoobastank's The Reason. This song reminds me so much of Aubrey and Maxx's relationship. Here's the link if you want to check it out:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fV4Di...

Love was insanity at its most beautiful...

Aubrey is on the road to becoming a counselor. After a tragedy that struck her family a couple of years earlier, she decided that she wants to help people. As part of the program, she is going to be a co-facilitator for a substance abuse group. This is where she meets cool, confident Maxx, but Aubrey can see glimpses of the man he really is underneath the facade.

Aubrey feels an undeniable connection to Maxx. Whether it's the fact that she knows he needs helps if he is to survive, or the tremendous amount of guilt that she carries around after the death of her sister. Her logic, at first, is that she wasn't there for Jayme, so she will be there for Maxx. But then he starts to show her a side of himself that no one else is privy to, except maybe his baby brother Landon. When feelings start to enter the picture, and Aubrey starts to realize that she is quite possibly in love with him, they begin a difficult relationship that could ruin everything for them both.

I'm not going to lie, this book was a little difficult to conquer with Maxx's drug abuse. I kept asking myself why Aubrey kept putting up with his crap, but sometimes all it takes is someone sticking by you, and she knew what she was getting into before she made the leap. I was still very interested in their story and found myself hoping that Maxx will make the right decisions.

It was pretty obvious who X was from the very first mention of his name. He is an amazing artist, who has art galleries vying for his paintings. Which really makes you wonder why he doesn't make decent money that way instead of doing these paintings for the underground club, Compulsion. Of course, he is involved in other activities that may be hard to escape.

I will be reading the next book soon and I can't wait to see what happens. The very last sentence in Lead Me Not was so exciting and I'm optimistic that we will get to see more of the vulnerable Maxx that Aubrey fell in love with. It may seem a little intimidating, but give this book a shot, it may turn out to be something unexpected.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Because she was my nirvana. My quiet in the storm. And what I felt for her was a hell of lot more real than anything I could experience at the sharp end of a needle or through the chalky taste of pills in my throat.

I loved Light in the Shadows and could not wait read this new book from A.M.W. The Prologue had me reeling and I never recovered, even after the last sentence. The book was an emotional roller-coaster; I found myself literally holding my breath. Maxx and Aubrey's relationship was headed on a horrible collision course and I felt each heartbreaking moment.

Maxx overtook me. He overwhelmed me. I was drowning.

This is not a sugar coated, "love conquers all things" type of book. It is a realistic view of addiction. I worked in this field for numerous years and A.M.W. nails the behaviors of an addict and those who enable them. Love is not always beautiful and clean. However, she also does a phenomenal job at displaying the struggles of a young college couple falling in love. Despite all the odds against them, I wanted Maxx to conquer his demons. These two deserved true happiness, like we all do. I can not wait to read the follow-up book for this couple.

If you enjoy emotional and angst filled books, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book!

[Stefanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A. Meredith Walters does it again with this very heartfelt and insightful interpretation of a very difficult and emotional subject matter! While drug addiction is the story’s primary focus, issues of enabling, co-dependency, physical & mental abuse, as well as dysfunctional relationships (as a whole) are also aptly addressed. Love is blind and it will consume you if you let it. Aubrey and her roommate experience just how destructive the wrong kind of love can be, and it leaves Aubrey with absolutely nothing. This was a very good book and can't wait to read the next book.