I Can Count To Ten

by Roman Dirge

HANDS DOWN, THE FUNNIEST BOOK OF THE DECADE! From the twisted imagination of Roman Dirge, the Michelangelo of the macabre comes this, his latest magnificent masterpiece – I CAN COUNT TO TEN, the first non-children’s book for adults. Roman Dirge’s unique brand of humor spawned the subgenre for cute girl gothic horror/humor. If you loved Roman Dirge’s unique, anarchic and counter-culture cult classic The Cute Little Dead Girl, then get ready for his greatest book yet! Presented as a child’s primer book for maths, I Can Count To Ten is without doubt the single most completely useless teaching aid for anyone looking for a book to teach them how to count to ten. What starts as the cutest counting book in the history of education, soon descends spectacularly into the single goriest, bloodiest, and funniest non-teaching aid EVER, that somehow manages to shoehorn in a sinister government conspiracy and an alien invasion into a gentle tale of a bunch of loveable numbers introducing themselves in order. Genius is a word bandied about a lot, but what Roman has done here is nothing less than pure genius, creating a genuinely funny belly-laugh of a book that will have any reader crying with laughter.

Genres: Graphic Novels, Comics, Humor

64 pages, Hardcover

Published October 8, 2024

About the author

Roman Dirge (born on April 29, 1972) is an artist and magician, and the creator of the Lenore comic-book series; he currently lives in Los Angeles, California.

Told by his art teachers that he would never make it as an artist due to his crude style, he quit art and became a full-time magician. After a few years, his passion for art overtook him and he created the comic about Lenore, the Cute Little Dead Girl for Xenophobe magazine. The comic strips were later seen by Dan Vado, president of Slave Labor

Reviews

[destiny ♡ howling libraries · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfectly fucked up and hilarious, as usual.

[Ryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is not a children’s book. I repeat this is not a children’s book. However, adults are going to love a picture book just for them. This is comedic horror in picture book format. That is quick and simple to get through. This story is interesting. The illustrations are entertaining, and it puts a big smile on the face of the reader. I love this and I want more of it. At the end, it says 10 will be coming for revenge! Yes, I need that book!

[Eden · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars

Thank you to TItan and NetGalley for my review copy.

This was quite an absurd book, full of twisted humour and gory drawings and I did enjoy reading it and seeing where it went next as I could never quite guess where it was going to go.

It's absolutely the sort of book that is perfect for someone who found "Happy Tree Friends" funny.

It's absolutely not a kid's book at all.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reminds me of the days of Salad Fingers and Invader Zim 😄

[Charlotte Lokko · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lots of giggles

[Raven Black · Rating 1 out of 5]

Roman Dirge is one SICK dude! Therefore there is a huge hit on his hands with I Can Count To Ten as there are a lot of disturbed individuals out there.

I am glad that he put the disclaimer in I Can Count To Ten as you know (as Dirge mentions) that people will buy this book thinking it is a cute, child-friendly book about learning to count. (However, it probably should be on the cover, not a page or two in). Because oh NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! This is soooooo far from friendly as I am from the moon. This book is about how much disgusting, abominable, awful, creepy, distasteful, foul, gross, gruesome, hateful, horrific, loathsome, nasty, nauseating, objectionable, obnoxious, odious ,outrageous, repugnant, revolting, scandalous, shameless, shocking, vile, vulgar and not to mention ghastly, grody, hideous, skuzzy, yucky stuff that can be crammed into it. This is if Sesame Street decided to take the worst acid trip on purpose. Due in October 2024 I had the unfortunate opportunity to read this book online. The only good thing is I have now found something to read/think of when I need to curb my appetite so much that I want to hurl (and not just my computer out of the window). With that all said, Dirge has a unique style that is going to be a huge hit with the right adult audience. I am not that audience.

[David H Dunham · Rating 5 out of 5]

I Can Count To Ten Review
Writer, Artist, Colorist, Letterer & Cover Artist: Roman Dirge
Publisher: Titan Comics
Price: $19.99
Release Date: October 9, 2024

Math ranks among the most essential skills a child can learn. Yet even into our teen years and adulthood, many struggle with basic math. Thankfully, we are never too old to learn! Would you like to learn to count to ten? Can the tiny Boofles help us master this essential skill? Let’s grab our slide rules, leap into I Can Count To Ten, and find out!

Story
One by one, the Boofles take the stage. The Boofles are friendly, kind, and eager to help you learn. The problem creeps into the pages with the fourth entrant. He is not a Boofle. Worse, he's a hairy, four-eyed purple Boofle-eater. (And no, I'm not suggesting he wears glasses. He has four eyes!). The monster isn't necessarily evil, but he is hungry. And with no fruits or vegetables in sight, he chooses the Boofles to sate his appetite. Once the killing begins, the Boofles’ sense of camaraderie diminishes amid the fight to survive. Thankfully, their battle does not go unobserved.

As Roman Dirge showcases the Boofles' encounter with the monster, he devotes equal time to the numbers. They introduce each Boofle, or at least they try to. The numbers may not have the starring roles in I Can Count To Ten, but they take the stage like somewhat noteworthy people announcing the contestants at an awards show. The procession breaks down when the monster starts slaughtering Boofles. Number Four makes an emergency call. Number Five tells his family he must stay longer at work. Like the Boofles, the numbers have their own lives. At least, they do for now, provided the police arrive quickly.

As Roman Dirge announces in his introduction, I Can Count To Ten is not a children’s book. It’s the arithmetic-based picture book Monty Python never published, with ample doses of Sci-fi horror and humor. (It does feature a rabbit, but not an unladen swallow). If your chief concern is mastering essential math skills, you should probably opt for Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum novels instead. But if you are hungry for wacky fun with references to violence, adult situations, and gore, check out I Can Count To Ten.

And please, don't eat the Boofles.

Art
The numbers are purple with lavender outlines. Their yellow eyes shine, and they smile as animals gather near them. But the puppy runs away when the monster starts eating the bean-shaped Boofles. The numbers frown and grimace as the hairy four-eyed monster with batwings for ears grabs the lively legumes with little feet and devours them. (And no, I'm not saying the monster wears glasses.) Scarlet covers the monster's fangs and spills from the partially devoured Boofles in the foreground while a pink haze fills the white background in I Can Count To Ten. At least until the alien baby appears and yellow smoke fills the air. Still, the police arrive by then. The officer is the Number 5 "oh" and is determined to book the evildoer, even if his name isn’t Danno.

Amid the murder and mayhem, Roman Dirge fills white dialogue balloons with generous-sized black letters. The numbers and the Boofles’ conversations draw you in, while the hairy, four-eyed purple monster’s silence conjures an air of mystery. (And no, I'm not saying the monster wears glasses. Did I mention that before?)

Final Thoughts
People battle bureaucratic systems, alcoholism, and the right to bear arms against the monsters that threaten them in the humorous, violent, and not-safe-for-children book I Can Count To Ten.

10/10

[Joanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

A funny, twisted take on a classic children’s counting book, but with Dirge’s signature macabre and offbeat humor. Though the title might suggest a simple, innocent book, this is far from a typical children’s story. In fact, it’s definitely not for kids!

While I Can Count to Ten is clearly written with Dirge’s adult fanbase in mind, the book plays on the innocent structure of a children’s counting book, which makes it subversive and funny. The playful use of dark humor and blood & gore may not be for everyone, but for fans of Dirge’s work or those who enjoy a blend of the macabre and the absurd, it’s a quick and entertaining read.

Thanks to NetGalley not just for the ARC, but for my intro to Dirge. Lenore series, here I come.

(Did i mention that it’s not for kids?!! 😂)

[Theediscerning · Rating 4 out of 5]

A comic that starts out as if it is a generic learning-to-count volume, but soon brings on the number 4, and therefore the ultraviolence. For number 4 is a monster with acid blood, and a great appetite for the other critters in this world – who fail to fathom how it could possibly have a sex life. It is a humorous effort, done as well as you could expect, but is it something to last on the shelf, and be re-read? Probably not. And why can't it decide if the numbers can or cannot leave – one says it can't escape the page, but others succeed in leaving the slaughter. Four stars might be deserved, if accompanied by the caveat that this is a disposable affair, albeit successful in achieving its aims.

[Norman Cook · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is probably more a 4-star book, but I'm giving it a 5 to balance out some of the negative vibes from others. Yes, you have to have a certain skewed sense of humor to appreciate this book--it is definitely not for kids--but I laughed out loud at several points, and that's rare for me. It is just so outrageous, no one could take this seriously. The artwork is simple when it needs to be and detailed when it needs to be. The dichotomy between the horror that's happening to the boofles versus the reaction of the numbers is priceless.

[Maxisagayweeb · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think that this is supposed to be comedy-horror but I would say that unfortunately it fell a bit flat on both of these counts. I really enjoyed Dirge’s “Lenore” which blends these genres seamlessly, but this just feels like a way less effective repeat of Lenore to me.

Thank you Netgalley for my digital ARC.

[Autumn · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have absolutely no idea how to review this book. It was the most unhinged random thing I’ve ever read. Which, to be fair is what I think the author was going for. It was a fast and interesting read but overall it just wasn’t for me.

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a weird and gross book. I didn't hate it. The drawings were well done and it was kinda funny.

[Patricia Q · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is the first book I've read by Roman, it was alright. #5 was funny. I'm going to read the Lenore series next now that I know about it.

[Justin Reedmore · Rating 5 out of 5]

Deliciously wicked & devilishly funny! I still can't count but I'm laughing!

*ARC provided by Netgalley & Titan Books*

[Mar · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was everything I expected and not, all at once. I loved it and now I can somewhat count! it only took me until 26!

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was absolutely ridiculous and fucked up and gross but it somehow made me laugh and I’m not sure what that says about me 😂🙈

[Leslie Carnahan · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a huge Lenore fan, I was excited to see this pop up on my radar! And it did not disappoint! Super strange/gross/funny/disgusting. Very Zim like but bloody. Bloody excellent.

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

So few pages, so much mayhem.

[Kerrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Never got to 10

[Frida · Rating 5 out of 5]

Y'all not ready for this 🤣