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If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground
The Southland's funniest son chronicles the year he braved the North in a memoir that is sexy, utterly hilarious, and one hundred percent new material. Grizzard is a perennial New York Times bestselling author, and his newspaper column is now syndicated in more than 400 papers nationwide. His latest effort is certain to be another smash hit. TV profile on "60 Minutes".
Mass Market Paperback
First published January 1, 1990
60 people are currently reading
316 people want to read
About the author
Lewis Grizzard
66 books88 followersAmerican writer and humorist, known for his Southern demeanor and commentary on the American South. Although he spent his early career as a newspaper sports writer and editor, becoming the sports editor of the Atlanta Journal at age 23, he is much better known for his humorous newspaper columns in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. He was also a popular stand-up comedian & lecturer.
Grizzard also published a total of twenty-five books, including collections of his columns (e.g. Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night), expanded versions of his stand-up comedy routines (I Haven't Understood Anything Since 1962), and the autobiographical If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground. Although much of his comedy discussed the South and Grizzard’s personal and professional lives, it was also a commentary on issues prevalent throughout America, including relationships between men and women (e.g. If Love Were Oil, I'd Be About a Quart Low), politics, and health, especially heart health.
He made us laugh and think at the same time. Indeed, during his lifetime, Lewis Grizzard heard himself described as "this generation's Mark Twain," "one of the foremost humorists in the country" and "a Faulkner for plain folks" by the national press. What he was, without a doubt, was a masterful storyteller, stand-up comedian, syndicated columnist and best selling author.
Lewis Grizzard Museum: http://newnan.com/lg/
New Georgia Encyclopedia entry:
http://www.georgiaencyclopedia.org/ng...
Grizzard also published a total of twenty-five books, including collections of his columns (e.g. Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night), expanded versions of his stand-up comedy routines (I Haven't Understood Anything Since 1962), and the autobiographical If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground. Although much of his comedy discussed the South and Grizzard’s personal and professional lives, it was also a commentary on issues prevalent throughout America, including relationships between men and women (e.g. If Love Were Oil, I'd Be About a Quart Low), politics, and health, especially heart health.
He made us laugh and think at the same time. Indeed, during his lifetime, Lewis Grizzard heard himself described as "this generation's Mark Twain," "one of the foremost humorists in the country" and "a Faulkner for plain folks" by the national press. What he was, without a doubt, was a masterful storyteller, stand-up comedian, syndicated columnist and best selling author.
Lewis Grizzard Museum: http://newnan.com/lg/
New Georgia Encyclopedia entry:
http://www.georgiaencyclopedia.org/ng...
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
April 7, 2011
In the late'80s and early '90s when my dad was reading and enjoying Lewis Grizzard, I was too young to read the books myself. After reading "If I Ever Get Back..." I can say that I too am a fan.
The book is still funny despite the fact that the humor and references are a little dated. It provided an interesting look at how his career evolved, but it did drag a little in places, which is what kept me from giving it a full 5 star rating.
The book is still funny despite the fact that the humor and references are a little dated. It provided an interesting look at how his career evolved, but it did drag a little in places, which is what kept me from giving it a full 5 star rating.
July 12, 2016
Memoir of Lewis's early career with the UGA and Athens papers, then the AJC to Chicago and back. To this day I think this is his best work.
November 28, 2007
A deliciously funny book, much in the way of Bill Bryson or Calvin Trillin, and I've made my love for those to authors abundantly clear. Grizzard knows how to write, and he knows how to talk about writing, and the man is a born storyteller.
I'm afraid to say that I missed out on some of the jokes, because I:
1. hail from the North
2. am only interested in baseball, and that narrow focus is a kind of blasphemy as far as sports writer Grizzard is concerned
3. read my news online more often than not
4. wasn't alive for the vast majority of the happenings discussed in the book, meaning that I have no idea who the majority of the people mentioned are, and don't get a lot of the pop culture references.
That said, I loved the book. Did I mention the guy could tell a story? And he has the storyteller's talent of surround himself with talented, crazy people, all of whom are much-loved fodder for said stories. Every author should love their subject as much as Grizzard does.
Seriously, it's a hoot.
I'm afraid to say that I missed out on some of the jokes, because I:
1. hail from the North
2. am only interested in baseball, and that narrow focus is a kind of blasphemy as far as sports writer Grizzard is concerned
3. read my news online more often than not
4. wasn't alive for the vast majority of the happenings discussed in the book, meaning that I have no idea who the majority of the people mentioned are, and don't get a lot of the pop culture references.
That said, I loved the book. Did I mention the guy could tell a story? And he has the storyteller's talent of surround himself with talented, crazy people, all of whom are much-loved fodder for said stories. Every author should love their subject as much as Grizzard does.
Seriously, it's a hoot.
February 28, 2011
His newspaper columns were his finest written work, but this was by far his funniest book.
January 4, 2011
I am so excited to be reading this book! One day I asked Joe what influenced him to attend the University of Georgia and he shared that it was reading Lewis Grizzard books when he was growing up. So, for Christmas this year, be bought me his favorite Grizzard book (a biography vs a collection of columns like his other books) and I am eating it up.
Some interesting points so far, pg. 116 - Grizzard introduces fellow co-worker - Larry Young - my Dad's name! He also talks a fair amount about the Columbus Ledger Enquirer which is my hometown newspaper and where I completed my Senior high school internship project ( I once was an aspiring journalist making Grizzard's story even more intriguing.)
Pg 140 - Grizzard tells a story about his good friend and coworker Browny and how Browny falls in love with his wife after seeing a picture of her daughter. That's exactly the story my parents share about how they met! My uncle began working at the same firm as my Dad and had a picture of my sister on his desk. My then not Dad saw the picture and asked my uncle who the girl was. When my Mom came to visit my uncle at work later, he introduced my Mom as the girl in the pictures Mom. My Dad later called my Mom and asked her on a date. And the rest is history!
Pg 143 - Grizzard had a Basset Hound named Plato. I have a Basset Hound named Willie Mae!
Finally, I didn't realize that this book was going to talk so much about my new home town, Athens! I've enjoyed getting to know more about the newspapers and town back when Grizzard was a UGA student.
Looking forward to continuing this read.
I can't believe I only read one book all Winter Break. I must be slowing down big time! Need to pick up the pace in 2011. 2010 is going to be a hard year to follow with such reads as Lonesome Dove and Gone With the Wind covered.
Some interesting points so far, pg. 116 - Grizzard introduces fellow co-worker - Larry Young - my Dad's name! He also talks a fair amount about the Columbus Ledger Enquirer which is my hometown newspaper and where I completed my Senior high school internship project ( I once was an aspiring journalist making Grizzard's story even more intriguing.)
Pg 140 - Grizzard tells a story about his good friend and coworker Browny and how Browny falls in love with his wife after seeing a picture of her daughter. That's exactly the story my parents share about how they met! My uncle began working at the same firm as my Dad and had a picture of my sister on his desk. My then not Dad saw the picture and asked my uncle who the girl was. When my Mom came to visit my uncle at work later, he introduced my Mom as the girl in the pictures Mom. My Dad later called my Mom and asked her on a date. And the rest is history!
Pg 143 - Grizzard had a Basset Hound named Plato. I have a Basset Hound named Willie Mae!
Finally, I didn't realize that this book was going to talk so much about my new home town, Athens! I've enjoyed getting to know more about the newspapers and town back when Grizzard was a UGA student.
Looking forward to continuing this read.
I can't believe I only read one book all Winter Break. I must be slowing down big time! Need to pick up the pace in 2011. 2010 is going to be a hard year to follow with such reads as Lonesome Dove and Gone With the Wind covered.
August 11, 2015
“If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I’m Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground”, by Lewis Grizzard published by Villard Books.
Category – Humor Publication Date – October 01, 1990
This is another Lewis Grizzard book that is full of humor but may well be classified as his autobiography (up to this time).
The book tells of his early life as a Army brat, his parents divorce, and living in the small Georgia town of Moreland. It tells of his entrance into the University of Georgia and how he was hired to work the football games and was hired by the Athens Daily News. He chronicles his graduation from college, and being hired by the Atlanta paper to cover sports. He always loved the newspaper business and found a home in Atlanta. He also tells of his love for the party life, his love of Southern food and drink. It is during this time that he married and divorced his first wife. He found great success and was offered a plum position to move to Chicago, a move he sorely regrets. Chicago saw his second marriage fail, a bout with racism, and cold, cold weather. He returns to Atlanta and finds his real calling was doing a humor column and the rest is history.
What Grizzard likes about newspapers:
They ain’t heavy, except on Sunday
The are brief about the weather, television weather lasts longer than some thunderstorms
The personal ads. They keep me up on what’s kinky
Newspapers make great starters for fireplaces
Category – Humor Publication Date – October 01, 1990
This is another Lewis Grizzard book that is full of humor but may well be classified as his autobiography (up to this time).
The book tells of his early life as a Army brat, his parents divorce, and living in the small Georgia town of Moreland. It tells of his entrance into the University of Georgia and how he was hired to work the football games and was hired by the Athens Daily News. He chronicles his graduation from college, and being hired by the Atlanta paper to cover sports. He always loved the newspaper business and found a home in Atlanta. He also tells of his love for the party life, his love of Southern food and drink. It is during this time that he married and divorced his first wife. He found great success and was offered a plum position to move to Chicago, a move he sorely regrets. Chicago saw his second marriage fail, a bout with racism, and cold, cold weather. He returns to Atlanta and finds his real calling was doing a humor column and the rest is history.
What Grizzard likes about newspapers:
They ain’t heavy, except on Sunday
The are brief about the weather, television weather lasts longer than some thunderstorms
The personal ads. They keep me up on what’s kinky
Newspapers make great starters for fireplaces
August 8, 2007
Unironically and seriously: one of the greatest books on writing I've ever read. A history of Grizzard's newspaper career, there's more off-hand writing advice in the first fifteen pages of this book than in whole books that are just about writing, and also it contains my favorite story about Hank Aaron breaking Babe Ruth's home run record ever. It features an elephant. I feel that's all I need to say.
July 15, 2012
Well, here I am reading another non-fiction book....I have to admit the first chapter just about had me putting the book down, but I have only given up on 1 book in my life and luckily this didn't become the second.
A wonderful way of writing and story telling.
I would add it to my must read list.
A wonderful way of writing and story telling.
I would add it to my must read list.
April 25, 2008
Don't have the same affinity for Georgia but I can appreciate homesickness.
April 22, 2015
First timer
My introduction to Grizzard. Enjoyed it and believe it or not I got most of his southern references. I look forward to getting my hands on another tale.
My introduction to Grizzard. Enjoyed it and believe it or not I got most of his southern references. I look forward to getting my hands on another tale.
June 5, 2024
This book is decidedly hard for me to review. Some parts I truly enjoyed, like learning about the way a newspaper worked back in the day.
The most important thing that jumped out at me is that this could have been a great book if Grizzard had taken it a little more seriously. The beginning really drags, and he spends a lot more time rambling and being flippant than telling us about himself or anything he's done. There are times when I would go a few pages getting really into a more serious story, and then he would throw in some horrible "joke" like, "he'd had a pet chicken once and his dog killed it [not a spoiler but disgusting]."
In addition, Grizzard really couldn't stop himself from making sexist remarks. It's all over the place. "Rising star in women's golf or tennis: Any player with large breasts, thin legs, and a pretty face who hasn't had a lesbian affair yet." He also mentions more than once how much it bothers him when married women hyphenate their names. What an odd thing to be mad about.
The way he talks about his ex-wives makes my heart go out to those women. He admits that he plays favorites at work.
And of course, the allegations of racism...
"The idea was that, because of the wrongs done to blacks previously, in order to give a black man his due, perhaps he shouldn't have to live up to the standards set for white people by other white people."
"I hadn't cared if Lacy Banks were orange, the column still stank and had no business in a major-leaguer sports edition." The absolute classic, "I don't care if you're black, white, or purple!" A total deflection instead of acknowledging that race may have played a role.
He spends a large section in the back half of the book trying to defend himself against allegations of racism. And I am inclined to believe him, but only because if he were really guilty and trying to defend himself, he could have done a hell of a lot better job making himself look innocent by leaving out all of the questionable things he said throughout the whole book!
At the end of the day, Grizzard has been dead for 30 years, so it really doesn't matter if he was racist or not, because he was definitely a terrible husband, a raging sexist, and not even that funny.
Recommended reading: Is It True What He Says About Dixie?
The most important thing that jumped out at me is that this could have been a great book if Grizzard had taken it a little more seriously. The beginning really drags, and he spends a lot more time rambling and being flippant than telling us about himself or anything he's done. There are times when I would go a few pages getting really into a more serious story, and then he would throw in some horrible "joke" like, "he'd had a pet chicken once and his dog killed it [not a spoiler but disgusting]."
In addition, Grizzard really couldn't stop himself from making sexist remarks. It's all over the place. "Rising star in women's golf or tennis: Any player with large breasts, thin legs, and a pretty face who hasn't had a lesbian affair yet." He also mentions more than once how much it bothers him when married women hyphenate their names. What an odd thing to be mad about.
The way he talks about his ex-wives makes my heart go out to those women. He admits that he plays favorites at work.
And of course, the allegations of racism...
"The idea was that, because of the wrongs done to blacks previously, in order to give a black man his due, perhaps he shouldn't have to live up to the standards set for white people by other white people."
"I hadn't cared if Lacy Banks were orange, the column still stank and had no business in a major-leaguer sports edition." The absolute classic, "I don't care if you're black, white, or purple!" A total deflection instead of acknowledging that race may have played a role.
He spends a large section in the back half of the book trying to defend himself against allegations of racism. And I am inclined to believe him, but only because if he were really guilty and trying to defend himself, he could have done a hell of a lot better job making himself look innocent by leaving out all of the questionable things he said throughout the whole book!
At the end of the day, Grizzard has been dead for 30 years, so it really doesn't matter if he was racist or not, because he was definitely a terrible husband, a raging sexist, and not even that funny.
Recommended reading: Is It True What He Says About Dixie?
July 6, 2020
Grizzard's 13th book is a love letter to a profession that no longer exists - old school (1960s) newspaperman. His passion for the way newspapers used to be put together is patently obvious from the loving way he writes - and digresses - about it here. He was certainly a lucky person who set his career path early and shot up the ladder with impressive speed.
In a lot of ways, it seems like his early luck turned out to be anything but in the long run. He made an ill-fated decision to move to Chicago to take over the Sun-Times sports section, and the only way he could get out of there was to give up editing and become a columnist. It's quite sad to read the end of this book, when he realizes that he has to give up his passion to save his sanity. Lucky for him, though, that his column worked out as well as it did for him, giving him the chance to have a second career as a humorist.
This book is narrative but it is FULL of digressions and meanderings away from his point, so if that style bothers you, give this one a pass. The first chapter is also awful - most of it can be skipped without anything of value being lost. I find Mr Grizzard's style impulsively readable, and both funny and poignant. He owns (most of) his mistakes, as he does with his other narrative books. Some things still hold up, while others are cringe-worthy.
After reading this book, I don't think he would've taken the transition to modern day newspapering well at all - he had enough trouble with the twenty-so years covered in the book. It's way too different now, 50 years later.
In a lot of ways, it seems like his early luck turned out to be anything but in the long run. He made an ill-fated decision to move to Chicago to take over the Sun-Times sports section, and the only way he could get out of there was to give up editing and become a columnist. It's quite sad to read the end of this book, when he realizes that he has to give up his passion to save his sanity. Lucky for him, though, that his column worked out as well as it did for him, giving him the chance to have a second career as a humorist.
This book is narrative but it is FULL of digressions and meanderings away from his point, so if that style bothers you, give this one a pass. The first chapter is also awful - most of it can be skipped without anything of value being lost. I find Mr Grizzard's style impulsively readable, and both funny and poignant. He owns (most of) his mistakes, as he does with his other narrative books. Some things still hold up, while others are cringe-worthy.
After reading this book, I don't think he would've taken the transition to modern day newspapering well at all - he had enough trouble with the twenty-so years covered in the book. It's way too different now, 50 years later.
July 14, 2022
What an entertaining man! Long self-told biography (pretty much) of his sports writing career and his life intertwined! I was enthralled, amused, charmed and delighted reading this book. At it's end, I hurriedly googled Lewis Grizzard, hoping to perhaps find a Facebook page in which to follow him. Sadly, I discovered this brilliant man died in 1994, four years after this book was released. On a positive spin though, there are many other books by him and also videos and audios of some of his work. The world needs more characters like Mr. Grizzard. His life and laughter touched millions. This particular piece of art will not disappoint.
March 4, 2022
Lewis writes of his longing to be in the newspaper business, reaching his dream, and finally becoming sports editor of a large Chicago paper. After facing two winters in Chicago, he's ready to return to his beloved Georgia and "nail his feet to the ground". A good read filled with various characters Lewis met along the way.
July 11, 2023
Grizzard is funny and enjoyable to read
I've read one other Lewis Grizzard book and it was excellent. Grizzard has a gift for storytelling and a great sense of humor. As a Texan living in Illinois, I can appreciate his horrible time living in Chicago after growing up in Georgia. I intend to read his other books.
I've read one other Lewis Grizzard book and it was excellent. Grizzard has a gift for storytelling and a great sense of humor. As a Texan living in Illinois, I can appreciate his horrible time living in Chicago after growing up in Georgia. I intend to read his other books.
December 30, 2023
I bought the book because I wanted to read about his time at the Chicago Sun-Times (who knew?). He was too young, too far from home, didn't know himself enough yet, and overemployed.
Not a bad beach read and an example of ambition + luck + right time/right place.
Interesting tale about the Guild vs. management on an issue that missed the point. I, too, am bumfuzzled.
Not a bad beach read and an example of ambition + luck + right time/right place.
Interesting tale about the Guild vs. management on an issue that missed the point. I, too, am bumfuzzled.
December 2, 2024
You ever feel like a writer gets you? Thats how lewis gizzard makes me feel. From one liners to drawn out descriptions of a 1970s news room he encapsulates what it means to be southern and a good ole boy at heart. If you didn’t like this book it may just be because you don’t know what a collard green is or think the SEC stands for anything other than “whoop yo azz”.
August 18, 2022
3.5 stars. Lewis Grizzard's book is a memoir filled with serious and humorous anecdotes from his journey from child to age 44 and the development of his career as a well-known author. Interesting and enjoyable read.
May 6, 2019
Lewis was hilarious.
August 21, 2019
This book got a lot of positive reviews on Amazon. It was just okay. Some humorous anecdotes, but that's about it.
June 21, 2020
It was okay. All about his career in the newspaper business. It was kind of a sad book, really. Well written, of course, but sad.
December 21, 2021
(review forthcoming)
April 5, 2022
Love the language, love the honesty. Not so hooked on baseball, not so hooked on a book about a writer, writing, but not writing about writing.
July 20, 2012
I enjoyed this funny, funny book. I like newspaper stories, and this was the writer's account of how he started out working for papers as a kid, and progressed up to sports editor, then city news editor in Atlanta. He was eventually hired away to Chicago, but he didn't care for life there, and returned south to do columns. A very funny writer. (I'm pretty sure I've read another of his books, but haven't come across it yet in my reading records.)
September 8, 2025
Funny, sad, outrageous, irresistible, and unforgettably true, here is Lewis Grizzard's one-way, non-stop climb to the top of the newspaper heap. Of course, along the way, he drove a train and was a preacher, but the one and only life for this self-proclaimed Promising Young Man from Georgia was that of the ink-stained, stop-the-presses, honest-to-gosh newspaperman. This is his story.
August 8, 2012
At first, I enjoyed the book, but it descended into tremendous vulgarity and silliness. I liked the offbeat wit at first, then it became tiresome and stupid.
September 19, 2012
too much sports reference for me preference
February 24, 2013
Very funny. I liked the part where he was always having to correct people when they didn't say his name right.
June 3, 2014
Stupid crap I read when I was young and am now purging from my literal bookshelves.
November 28, 2016
Re-reading Grizzard... Come experience why he never left his Georgia again professionally. Wit, honest, engaging: true Lewis.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews