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Not Marked: Finding Hope and Healing after Sexual Abuse
Are you suffering the effects of sexual abuse? There is a way out. In Not Finding Hope and Healing after Sexual Abuse, Mary DeMuth illuminates the way to go from shame-filled to joy-filled, from traumatized to finding enduring peace. This isn t theory. Mary has lived it. She s traveled this path and offers a uniquely qualified, insider s view of the healing process. Then Mary goes deeper because often you re not the only one who has suffered. Her husband Patrick comes alongside her and offers insights into how spouses can love a sexual abuse victim toward wholeness, and how this will bring your relationship a whole new level of strength. Not Marked will help · Find the courage to share your story maybe for the first time. · Stop comparing your brokenness to others' wholeness. · Understand the specific way God designed you to heal. · Identify safe people to entrust your healing journey to. · Embrace utter honesty about your abuse, even if that means anger toward God. · Discover how prayer helps you move from angst to alleluia. · Find the powerful antidote to bitterness. · Let go of accusatory thought patterns and grasp God s affection for you. · Uncover an ancient pathway to healing. · Live the effervescent life you ve longed for but could never quite grasp. You do not have to be forever marked by sexual abuse. You are resilient even if you believe all your strength is gone. You are worthy of being made whole even if you can t believe it s possible. And you are a stunning work of amazingness even though your heart can t even start to grasp that. Yet. This is your time. The moment to start the journey of the unmarked life!
240 pages, Paperback
First published November 28, 2013
46 people are currently reading
546 people want to read
About the author
Mary E. DeMuth
73 books415 followersMary DeMuth is literary agent, international speaker, podcaster, and she’s the novelist and nonfiction author of over forty books, including Love, Pray, Listen: Parenting Your Wayward Adult Kids with Joy (Bethany 2022). She loves to help people re-story their lives. She lives in Texas with her husband of 31 years and is the mom to three adult children. Find out more at marydemuth.com. Be prayed for on her daily prayer podcast with 4 million downloads: prayeveryday.show. For sexual abuse resources, visit wetoo.org. For cards, prints, and artsy fun go to marydemuth.com/art. Find out what she’s looking for as a literary agent at marydemuthliterary.com
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
February 11, 2014
Seriously, Not Marked.
I really did not know what I would gain by reading this book. I have read others before, to try and heal and become free, and found them lacking. I have started and not finished others before because they just didn't say nor "do" what I thought they should. From the first paragraph, I was hooked, the first two chapters I read in one sitting (which I have never been able to do with a book like this). Then, came the hard stuff, the part where I needed to analyse my life and my past. This is the meat and potatoes of the book. Through Mary's heart-words and from her husband's perspective I was offered more insight into my pain and past than I could even comprehend. I had to take it slow to be able to fully grasp what she was saying and telling me to do. But let me tell you, the rewards are amazing! The ending, part three, took me to a place of healing that I never knew possible. Today, I feel like a changed woman. I know, and Mary even says so, that my healing is not done, probably never will be, however, I now have to tools to progress through any hurts that make their way into my heart and grab hold. So very thankful for Mary DeMuth's brave heart and soul and for her following God's leading to write this book.
I really did not know what I would gain by reading this book. I have read others before, to try and heal and become free, and found them lacking. I have started and not finished others before because they just didn't say nor "do" what I thought they should. From the first paragraph, I was hooked, the first two chapters I read in one sitting (which I have never been able to do with a book like this). Then, came the hard stuff, the part where I needed to analyse my life and my past. This is the meat and potatoes of the book. Through Mary's heart-words and from her husband's perspective I was offered more insight into my pain and past than I could even comprehend. I had to take it slow to be able to fully grasp what she was saying and telling me to do. But let me tell you, the rewards are amazing! The ending, part three, took me to a place of healing that I never knew possible. Today, I feel like a changed woman. I know, and Mary even says so, that my healing is not done, probably never will be, however, I now have to tools to progress through any hurts that make their way into my heart and grab hold. So very thankful for Mary DeMuth's brave heart and soul and for her following God's leading to write this book.
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July 9, 2018Mary is an amazing writer with an amazing story to tell. The entries by her husband greatly enrich this book as a tool for healing for couples where abuse is part of their story. Mary is honest, raw and hopeful all at the same time.
November 13, 2020
I really liked this book and could relate to so much of it. There was one chapter I had some issues with, but with skipping that one, the rest was 5 star value. But I felt the topic of forgiveness, while handled in a way where she was not forcing it, but seeking empathy with the abuser was not healthy nor something I can agree with in any way. But since 90% of the book was really healthy in dealing with sexual abuse, which is almost unheard of in Christian circles, I only removed one star for that. But be aware, and I would recommend skipping that chapter all together.
November 5, 2022
I cannot begin to describe how much I do NOT recommend this book. Her husband’s entitlement and attitudes towards her trauma and healing were so damaging to my own journey/trust of men. I literally threw the book in the trash.
Resources that might actually help survivors of SA in a non-shaming, helpful way: Rising Strong by Brene Brown, The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel A Van der Kolk, It’s Not Supposed to Be this Way by Lisa Terkurst, Survivor Talks (podcast) by Whole and Redeemed.
Resources that might actually help survivors of SA in a non-shaming, helpful way: Rising Strong by Brene Brown, The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel A Van der Kolk, It’s Not Supposed to Be this Way by Lisa Terkurst, Survivor Talks (podcast) by Whole and Redeemed.
October 28, 2017
This book put everything into focus for me as a survivor. Pieces that I didn't understand about my last made sense because of Not Marked. It is written from a survivor about sexual abuse, so you will never get a better understanding of what victims feel unless you ask them directly. Highly recommended.
August 11, 2020
This book was really helpful to me. I would like to say I think it is a book that needed to be written to help other people. I wish it were a subject that didn't exist. Just know that it is a very helpful read and I want to thank Mary for her courage to tell her story and for Philip for helping her
April 23, 2025
This book is a beautiful tribute to God, perseverance, forgiveness and hope after horrific childhood trauma. I felt like it was written for spouses because if it happened to one, then both are so profoundly affected and essential for healing. We recently found out one of my kids has been sexually abused and I gained a lot from reading it and appreciate the spiritual insights. Also, I recommend the audiobook because Mary and Patrick’s reading voices are some of my favorites I’ve listened to…also I am so blessed to go to church with them both and they are the real deal…so thankful for them and their hearts to be helpful to others suffering through the darkness and pain of this.
February 17, 2014
Free to Live Unmarked
These closing words of Mary DeMuth’s extraordinary new book, Not Marked: Finding Hope and Healing After Sexual Abuse, aptly summarize the journey of hope and healing through which she has traveled and into which she invites fellow survivors of sexual abuse and those who love them. However, Mary’s book is much more than a book about surviving the trauma of abuse. It is mostly about hope and healing—the hope and healing that can only come from the Great Physician, our Creator, Father and the lover of our souls. This is not another book written by an “expert” in psychotherapy offering the latest research and theories, but is an honest, personal account of the devastation caused when people indulge their basest instincts and victimize the most innocent among us. Mary takes us through the painful details of not only the initial loss of her innocence at the hands of neighborhood boys, but the further violation that occurred when the adults obligated to protect her turned a blind eye to the abuse. As we see on an almost daily basis, this is an all too familiar story, particularly when the perpetrators are financially or socially prominent.
What we usually do not see is the psychological, emotional and spiritual toil the abuse and the loss of trust in adult caretakers imposes on the victims. Mary offers us a window into those wounds and the devastating effects they have on all aspects of the victim’s life, often for the rest of her life. As Mary puts it, these scars leave the victim feeling “marked.” As Mary describes it, it feels like an “imprinted sexual abuse mark, a beacon inviting others to abuse you, a reminder to you and other that you carry secret shame. It seems so permanent, more indelible than a Sharpie pen’s ink, as if the sexual abuse was pierced underneath your skin like a tattoo.” It is a mark that has led many victims spiraling into despair, depression and even death, as Satan has imprinted his lies into their lives, convincing them than they are beyond hope.
Mary shows us that it does not need to be that way. That is the overarching message of this book. Mary shows us that if we place our trust in Jesus, then He will walk with us on a healing journey that will lead to wholeness, restoration and redemption. Mary offers a poignant illustration: Imagine that you are walking along with the scarlet mark fully visible on your forehead. People point at it, snicker, flirt or try to seduce you. Despite your best efforts, you cannot erase the mark, so you begin to walk with your head down, watching your feet. “Suddenly you almost run into Someone, spying sandaled feet on the sidewalk in front of you. You look up and catch the gaze of Love. Jesus weeps as He sees your mark. He wipes His tears, then takes His hand, still wet from tears, and washes away the mark. No evidence of the mark remains---it’s been washed away.” You are unmarked, free. That is the promise of true healing that Mary presents in an honest and winsome way. It is not an easy journey and will not succeed unless the victim and those she loves intentionally pursue healing. However, it is a fruitful and worthwhile endeavor, one that will lead you out of the darkness into the Light of healing, hope and eternal life.
If you are ready to live freely and unmarked, or you are ready to offer that hope to someone you love, Mary’s book is the place to begin. Find out more at http://notmarked.com .
Read more about Mary’s story and discover some outstanding resources to help you or your loved one on a healing journey at: http://marydemuth.com
These closing words of Mary DeMuth’s extraordinary new book, Not Marked: Finding Hope and Healing After Sexual Abuse, aptly summarize the journey of hope and healing through which she has traveled and into which she invites fellow survivors of sexual abuse and those who love them. However, Mary’s book is much more than a book about surviving the trauma of abuse. It is mostly about hope and healing—the hope and healing that can only come from the Great Physician, our Creator, Father and the lover of our souls. This is not another book written by an “expert” in psychotherapy offering the latest research and theories, but is an honest, personal account of the devastation caused when people indulge their basest instincts and victimize the most innocent among us. Mary takes us through the painful details of not only the initial loss of her innocence at the hands of neighborhood boys, but the further violation that occurred when the adults obligated to protect her turned a blind eye to the abuse. As we see on an almost daily basis, this is an all too familiar story, particularly when the perpetrators are financially or socially prominent.
What we usually do not see is the psychological, emotional and spiritual toil the abuse and the loss of trust in adult caretakers imposes on the victims. Mary offers us a window into those wounds and the devastating effects they have on all aspects of the victim’s life, often for the rest of her life. As Mary puts it, these scars leave the victim feeling “marked.” As Mary describes it, it feels like an “imprinted sexual abuse mark, a beacon inviting others to abuse you, a reminder to you and other that you carry secret shame. It seems so permanent, more indelible than a Sharpie pen’s ink, as if the sexual abuse was pierced underneath your skin like a tattoo.” It is a mark that has led many victims spiraling into despair, depression and even death, as Satan has imprinted his lies into their lives, convincing them than they are beyond hope.
Mary shows us that it does not need to be that way. That is the overarching message of this book. Mary shows us that if we place our trust in Jesus, then He will walk with us on a healing journey that will lead to wholeness, restoration and redemption. Mary offers a poignant illustration: Imagine that you are walking along with the scarlet mark fully visible on your forehead. People point at it, snicker, flirt or try to seduce you. Despite your best efforts, you cannot erase the mark, so you begin to walk with your head down, watching your feet. “Suddenly you almost run into Someone, spying sandaled feet on the sidewalk in front of you. You look up and catch the gaze of Love. Jesus weeps as He sees your mark. He wipes His tears, then takes His hand, still wet from tears, and washes away the mark. No evidence of the mark remains---it’s been washed away.” You are unmarked, free. That is the promise of true healing that Mary presents in an honest and winsome way. It is not an easy journey and will not succeed unless the victim and those she loves intentionally pursue healing. However, it is a fruitful and worthwhile endeavor, one that will lead you out of the darkness into the Light of healing, hope and eternal life.
If you are ready to live freely and unmarked, or you are ready to offer that hope to someone you love, Mary’s book is the place to begin. Find out more at http://notmarked.com .
Read more about Mary’s story and discover some outstanding resources to help you or your loved one on a healing journey at: http://marydemuth.com
March 13, 2014
It would be easy to categorize Mary DeMuth’s new book, Not Marked as an offering to victims of sexual abuse–but it’s so much more. Not Marked details what happens when men abuse the creative power God has given them and how Jesus steps in to redeem us. It’s a universal story and one that men and women across the globe can relate to.
Sexual abuse is not part of my history. However, because of the pastoral work I’ve done for the past 20 years, I have listened to many heart-breaking stories from women and men who have been abused and suffered from the long term consequences of these violations. Too many women and men suffer in silent shame. And far too often, the church has been passive in helping these abused ones reclaim their birthright. Thankfully, DeMuth steps into this gap with her courageous book.
This offering is not for the faint of heart. Though DeMuth does not go into great detail about the sexual abuse that happened to her as a five year old, the horror of what those boys did to her cannot be escaped while reading. Nor should it be, which is why those who have not been abused ought to read this book too. The text forces us to realize–at least on a microscopic level–the daily hell that abuse victims live with.
DeMuth’s choice to vulnerably disclose not only what happened to her but how it has affected her for the past forty plus years is more than remarkable; the book is like an oxygen mask which she offers to those who have been near death from asphyxiation. Again and again, she humbly grants us permission to peer into her world, her marriage, her family. And she does not skim the surface but bravely plumbs the depths.
DeMuth also makes it clear that when we come to Jesus with our wounds, it’s not an under the blood, over the river, and through the woods experience that may Christians would lead us to believe. She writes, “Healing is layers. Healing is time. Healing is excruciating.... There is no passive healing. If you want healing, you have to pursue it.” And she has. While DeMuth admits that she has not completed this journey, her life bears clear testimony to the power of the gospel in bringing hope and healing to anyone willing to cry out for help and then engage in the long-term work of healing. Again, it’s not just the victims of sexual abuse who need to be saved–we all do.
When asked what her hope is for this book, DeMuth responded, “My greatest hope is that sexual abuse victims will NO longer feel alone and isolated in their grief and trauma; that they will find concrete ways to begin the healing journey.” She exceeds this because Not Marked testifies that Jesus heals our wounds. All of them. For all of us.
November 25, 2014
Maybe you have been sexually abused, or are the spouse of someone who was sexually abused. You might be the “safe person”, privileged to hear and participate in the life of a person who was sexually abused. You may not yet be aware of it, but chances are you are at least a family member, friend, or co-worker or even teacher of someone, even a child, who needs the healing that only Jesus can bring to someone whose story includes sexual abuse. The open, honest, vulnerable story of Mary DeMuth’s abuse and healing is vitally important to you. And it can be of benefit to both women and men who have been abused.
Our Lord does not want the person who endured abuse to stumble through life on this worth as marked, marked with shame, confusion, or some invisible stain that they are unaware of that attracts other predators. He wants healing to be part of our story, and He wants us to walk in the light of God’s love and forgiveness. He wants His body, the Church, to be armed and ready to minister to those in pain. Mary and her husband, who includes at the end of each chapter his honest feelings and the help that our Savior and the Holy Spirit gives him, show many things that we may have been unaware of, such as how healing is progressive – for most people, it does not occur all at once. It shows how one’s healing journey is as unique as one’s fingerprints. How forgiveness on many levels is possible. How it is possible to let go of the anger, fear, pain, shame. How to walk through each challenge, each trigger to the memories, how to show others that healing is possible, actively and passionately, through the grace and love of our mighty heavenly Father. You may not have thought of this journey of healing as a beautiful gift before, but perhaps you will as you work through this book. The list of symptoms in the beginning of the book, which may only seem bitter reminders, may discourage you from seeking this gift – or show that you or your loved one have already made progress and that so much more is available to you.
Included also are Mary’s responses to commonly asked questions, suggestions on how you can protect your children from predators. Based on the truth of scripture and the love of Christ, which have fueled Mary’s joy, there truly is a joy for you on your journey, also. This is a book to read, study, and be embraced by the supporting Scripture, and to re-read throughout this journey to the future your heavenly Father has for you. Don't miss this outstanding book!!!
Our Lord does not want the person who endured abuse to stumble through life on this worth as marked, marked with shame, confusion, or some invisible stain that they are unaware of that attracts other predators. He wants healing to be part of our story, and He wants us to walk in the light of God’s love and forgiveness. He wants His body, the Church, to be armed and ready to minister to those in pain. Mary and her husband, who includes at the end of each chapter his honest feelings and the help that our Savior and the Holy Spirit gives him, show many things that we may have been unaware of, such as how healing is progressive – for most people, it does not occur all at once. It shows how one’s healing journey is as unique as one’s fingerprints. How forgiveness on many levels is possible. How it is possible to let go of the anger, fear, pain, shame. How to walk through each challenge, each trigger to the memories, how to show others that healing is possible, actively and passionately, through the grace and love of our mighty heavenly Father. You may not have thought of this journey of healing as a beautiful gift before, but perhaps you will as you work through this book. The list of symptoms in the beginning of the book, which may only seem bitter reminders, may discourage you from seeking this gift – or show that you or your loved one have already made progress and that so much more is available to you.
Included also are Mary’s responses to commonly asked questions, suggestions on how you can protect your children from predators. Based on the truth of scripture and the love of Christ, which have fueled Mary’s joy, there truly is a joy for you on your journey, also. This is a book to read, study, and be embraced by the supporting Scripture, and to re-read throughout this journey to the future your heavenly Father has for you. Don't miss this outstanding book!!!
July 16, 2017
I received this book in audible format from the author in exchange for my honest review.
If you, or someone you know, has ever suffered abuse – especially sexual abuse – Not Marked: Finding Hope & Healing After Sexual Abuse should be next on your/their TBR (to be read) list.
Mary DeMuth tells all in this book. She suffered horrible abuse, including repeated sexual abuse, as a young girl. In this book she bravely tells her story, not for sympathy, not to glamourize anything, not to shock anyone, but to show God’s strength in her weakness and to encourage others that there IS healing after the incurred shame placed on one’s well-being.
Mary DeMuth and her husband, Patrick, narrated the audible version, each telling her story from their standpoint. Patrick met and married Mary long after it all happened, but he learned the hard and emotionally painful way how the abuse left her wounded, distrustful, and shamed. He watched her struggle to find a place of peace and healing for her life. He learned he had to find a way to gently support and encourage her in a loving way however he could, thereby growing in understanding and compassion himself.
This is a story of survival, a story of hope and healing, a story of learning to trust in the letting go.
If you like to be read to, I encourage you to purchase the audible version of Mary DeMuth‘s Not Marked: Finding Hope & Healing After Sexual Abuse because this book is well worth the listen. You may find it difficult to hear some parts (as I did) because of Mary’s vulnerability and honesty, but if you stay with it you will be glad you did.
NOTE: This book is not for young readers, but parents can use segments of it to warn and advise their children. It can be an opportunity to teach compassion for the many children who have a dark secret of shame, or to encourage one’s children to ask questions when they are unsure about something.
If you, or someone you know, has ever suffered abuse – especially sexual abuse – Not Marked: Finding Hope & Healing After Sexual Abuse should be next on your/their TBR (to be read) list.
Mary DeMuth tells all in this book. She suffered horrible abuse, including repeated sexual abuse, as a young girl. In this book she bravely tells her story, not for sympathy, not to glamourize anything, not to shock anyone, but to show God’s strength in her weakness and to encourage others that there IS healing after the incurred shame placed on one’s well-being.
Mary DeMuth and her husband, Patrick, narrated the audible version, each telling her story from their standpoint. Patrick met and married Mary long after it all happened, but he learned the hard and emotionally painful way how the abuse left her wounded, distrustful, and shamed. He watched her struggle to find a place of peace and healing for her life. He learned he had to find a way to gently support and encourage her in a loving way however he could, thereby growing in understanding and compassion himself.
This is a story of survival, a story of hope and healing, a story of learning to trust in the letting go.
If you like to be read to, I encourage you to purchase the audible version of Mary DeMuth‘s Not Marked: Finding Hope & Healing After Sexual Abuse because this book is well worth the listen. You may find it difficult to hear some parts (as I did) because of Mary’s vulnerability and honesty, but if you stay with it you will be glad you did.
NOTE: This book is not for young readers, but parents can use segments of it to warn and advise their children. It can be an opportunity to teach compassion for the many children who have a dark secret of shame, or to encourage one’s children to ask questions when they are unsure about something.
January 28, 2014
NOT MARKED: FINDING HOPE AND HEALING AFTER SEXUAL ABUSE by Mary DeMuth is a Sexual Abuse/ Emotional Healing/ Personal Growth/ Marriage/ Christian Life, true to life story. A heart wrenching, raw, but honest account of this author's struggles with sexual abuse, her struggle for healing, inner peace and the courage she faced to write this book. Her husband, Patrick, also gives the reader insight into the turmoil and struggles as a loved one, he and the family face daily. What a powerful story that took not only courage, but faith to write such a vivid inspiration for all who have suffered with sexual abuse, their loved ones and the power to not be marked! I would highly recommend this title for counselors, care-givers, professionals who deal with sexual abuse, and Bible study groups. I would also recommend this title to any and all. If you know someone who has or are being sexually abused, please give them a copy of "Not Marked: Finding Hope and Healing After Sexual Abuse". They will surely appreciate the gesture. A powerful,complex book that is a great resource. Hope and freedom is just a heartbeat away and available! You can go from shame to joy! The power of healing,love and faith. Have tissues at the ready! Powerful!!
Thank you, Mary for giving me the opportunity in reading this powerful, gut-wrenching story!!
Received for an honest review from the author.
RATING: 4.5
HEAT RATING: NONE
REVIEWED BY: AprilR, courtesy of My Book Addiction and More
Thank you, Mary for giving me the opportunity in reading this powerful, gut-wrenching story!!
Received for an honest review from the author.
RATING: 4.5
HEAT RATING: NONE
REVIEWED BY: AprilR, courtesy of My Book Addiction and More
January 16, 2014
Mary DeMuth’s book, Not Marked, is a gift to anyone who has experienced sexual abuse, especially those who’ve suffered alone, silenced by fear or shame. It’s an invitation to hear and be heard. A doorway to real change. Mary’s openness about her own relentless, ongoing pursuit of healing encourages others to bravely face their past, to give and receive forgiveness, and to press on toward a hopeful and beautiful future. Boldly practical, gut-wrenchingly honest, and drenched with soul-refreshing empathy, Not Marked faces thorny questions head on and exposes lies, thereby stripping them of their power.
Mary’s advice regarding sexual intimacy in marriage is applicable even for those who haven’t suffered abuse, and her hard-won wisdom is underscored and enhanced by husband Patrick’s helpful insights, as he honestly shares the struggles and responsibilities of a sex-abuse victim’s spouse. Their journey as a couple reveals an important truth: Darkness flees before light, but first we have to let the light in, and that means revisiting the dark places. The good news? We don’t go alone. Jesus goes with us, and He not only reveals and redefines reality, He redeems it, beautifying even the deepest scars.
This book is a road map to restoration and real joy. I hope it finds its way into the hands of those who need it, and I pray the Healer meets them on the pages.
Mary’s advice regarding sexual intimacy in marriage is applicable even for those who haven’t suffered abuse, and her hard-won wisdom is underscored and enhanced by husband Patrick’s helpful insights, as he honestly shares the struggles and responsibilities of a sex-abuse victim’s spouse. Their journey as a couple reveals an important truth: Darkness flees before light, but first we have to let the light in, and that means revisiting the dark places. The good news? We don’t go alone. Jesus goes with us, and He not only reveals and redefines reality, He redeems it, beautifying even the deepest scars.
This book is a road map to restoration and real joy. I hope it finds its way into the hands of those who need it, and I pray the Healer meets them on the pages.
February 15, 2014
Although I have not personally experienced such traumatic events as those described within the pages of this book, its content nonetheless resonated deeply with me. While I in no way wish to diminish the author's primary message, I believe it would be a great disservice to any potential reader to limit its range, which encompasses such themes as control, fear and forgiveness. The author so thoroughly explores these and many more issues applicable to any type of relationship with a great candor yet not in detail of an overtly explicit manner.
DeMuth says, "For years I kept quiet, believing that silence equaled honor. Eventually I began to see that silence actually meant enabling bad behavior and unreality."
This truth shot straight to my heart like an arrow launched by the hands of an expert marksman. I have much to process for myself still, even as I continue my efforts to get the powerful healing message of Not Marked: Finding Hope and Healing after Sexual Abuse into the hands of all those I can, who have been affected in any way by sexual abuse, or any kind for that matter.
I have no doubt it will hit its mark every time of healing, grace and an empathetic challenge to move forward.
DeMuth says, "For years I kept quiet, believing that silence equaled honor. Eventually I began to see that silence actually meant enabling bad behavior and unreality."
This truth shot straight to my heart like an arrow launched by the hands of an expert marksman. I have much to process for myself still, even as I continue my efforts to get the powerful healing message of Not Marked: Finding Hope and Healing after Sexual Abuse into the hands of all those I can, who have been affected in any way by sexual abuse, or any kind for that matter.
I have no doubt it will hit its mark every time of healing, grace and an empathetic challenge to move forward.
February 10, 2014
Not Marked by Mary DeMuth is an invaluable resource, not only for those who have experienced sexual abuse, but also for those who know and love a victim. No pat answers here – just uncompromising, raw honesty framed by real hope. Mary tackles this tough topic with just enough self-disclosure. In so doing, she offers readers the courage to begin their own daring journey out of shame into wholeness.
Not Marked gives readers specific, practical steps for healing, including finding safe people to share with, choosing to stay in community, learning the power of prayer, and writing a psalm of lament. Mary speaks to difficult issues such as sexual abuse within the church, gives practical tips on protecting our children, and shares--along with her husband Patrick--how a marriage can grow stronger despite the pain of past abuse.
For those struggling with sexual injuries, this book is balm on the wound; for those who desire to help them, it is an essential tool. As a survivor and a biblical counselor, I highly recommend it.
Not Marked gives readers specific, practical steps for healing, including finding safe people to share with, choosing to stay in community, learning the power of prayer, and writing a psalm of lament. Mary speaks to difficult issues such as sexual abuse within the church, gives practical tips on protecting our children, and shares--along with her husband Patrick--how a marriage can grow stronger despite the pain of past abuse.
For those struggling with sexual injuries, this book is balm on the wound; for those who desire to help them, it is an essential tool. As a survivor and a biblical counselor, I highly recommend it.
February 10, 2014
While as a society we find it easier to talk about the fact that sexual abuse happens than we did twenty years ago, it doesn't seem as if we do enough educating on the long-term effects of how sexual abuse marks its victims and causes life-long issues. Enter Mary DeMuth, a victim of childhood sexual abuse, and her husband Patrick. Mary doesn't dwell on the past, but she does explain how it affected her future. Through the love of God, prayer, wise counsel, therapy and the unfailing love of her husband, DeMuth has arrived at the place where she can share her journey in the hope that other victims of abuse can understand that they, too, can live a life that is not marked. This is not just a book for those who have suffered sexual abuse--this is a book for everyone who loves someone who has been abused or those who work with people who have been abused. DeMuth and her husband create a beautiful song of redemptive love and show the reader how to join the chorus.
February 11, 2014
I so related to the pain and the story Mary shared in her memoir Thin Places. I was priviledged to be on the launch team for Not Marked. I have been majorly impacted by this book. I am a 3 time survivor of rape and childhood sexual abuse. My Godly purpose for my life is to work with other abused women and children using art to help aid the healing process. I know that all the flashbacks and the healing I am again experiencing while reading this book is going to further equip me for helping others. I have been dealing with my abuse for over 30 years. It seems to surface with impact every 10 years. I keep thinking I have finally dealt with it all. Now I know you simply can't 'deal' with it all. Only the healing restorative power of Jesus Christ can make this 'marked' woman (me) no longer marked. I highly recommend this book as well as Mary's other books to all those who need to heal and all those who love those who need to heal.
February 6, 2014
Not Marked: Finding Hope and Healing After Sexual Abuse is a powerful, heart-wrenching book that dares to tell a truth that needs to be talked about and heard. What DeMuth has done in this book is nothing short of courageous. She presents a survivor's story with such clarity and authenticity, sharing hope and communicating grace to those still searching for understanding, deliverance, and unconditional love. This book is so uniquely done that it is hard to describe and yet it speaks in such a way that people will get it. I encourage those who are survivors, as well as those who love, live with, and/or know and care about survivors to read this liberating book.
Rating: 5/5
Recommend: Yes
Bookshelf Worthy: Yes
Options: Ministry resource, Women's reference library, Support programs, Book club interest, Counseling centers, Spiritual growth/ Emotional health and wellness classes
Rating: 5/5
Recommend: Yes
Bookshelf Worthy: Yes
Options: Ministry resource, Women's reference library, Support programs, Book club interest, Counseling centers, Spiritual growth/ Emotional health and wellness classes
February 6, 2014
Not Marked is a book for everyone. Based on statistics, we all know someone who has been effected by sexual abuse. DeMuth shares her story of childhood sexual abuse and her path of healing. You finish the book with a sense of hope that healing is available for all who pursue it.
Perhaps the most unique aspect of the book is the contributions of her husband, Patrick. At the end of each chapter Patrick shares his personal trials and triumphs with wisdom and encouragement for anyone who loves a survivor.
DeMuth's Not Marked is honestly written from the heart of a woman who has been there and wants to share the hope and healing she has experienced. And she welcomes you in, without judgement, and invites you to join her on the journey.
I am not marked. And neither are you.
Perhaps the most unique aspect of the book is the contributions of her husband, Patrick. At the end of each chapter Patrick shares his personal trials and triumphs with wisdom and encouragement for anyone who loves a survivor.
DeMuth's Not Marked is honestly written from the heart of a woman who has been there and wants to share the hope and healing she has experienced. And she welcomes you in, without judgement, and invites you to join her on the journey.
I am not marked. And neither are you.
February 10, 2014
A topic that is hard to cover... yet Mary's voice is so open and honest that this book was very therapeutic from the first page and on. A great reference for anyone who has been sexually assaulted or has a friend or family member who is a victim.
Opening up and talking about the pain is the first step in healing and this is a process that continues through life. Mary explains this process so well and gives her own first hand account at going through a life feeling marked.
Mary quotes write Anne Lamott
"Risk being unliked. Tell the truth as you understand it. If you're a writer you have a moral obligation to do this. And it is a revolutionary act - truth is always subversive."
Kudos to Mary for being a warrior for all sexual assault victims and for being a survivor!!
Opening up and talking about the pain is the first step in healing and this is a process that continues through life. Mary explains this process so well and gives her own first hand account at going through a life feeling marked.
Mary quotes write Anne Lamott
"Risk being unliked. Tell the truth as you understand it. If you're a writer you have a moral obligation to do this. And it is a revolutionary act - truth is always subversive."
Kudos to Mary for being a warrior for all sexual assault victims and for being a survivor!!
September 6, 2016
Ok, I will say that the only reason I'm giving this a lower rating is because I did not realize it was going to be from a Christian perspective. That said, I'll try to give it a fair review anyway. I do think that healing from sexual abuse from an evangelical Christian perspective should be talked about, as these women have been taught that sex outside of marriage is wrong and yet they were forced to do this. Then, when they begin to have marital problems in bed, it is hard to talk about with anyone. As such, this book is important and I believe would be helpful to anyone in this position. But, this is not for me, and my devotely atheist heathen ways. But still, it is a good book if you are the target audience.
January 27, 2014
Few writers require profound courage to put words on paper. Not Marked reveals such courage. So many need these words. So many believe the lies that there's no hope or healing after sexual abuse. Free of platitudes, Mary DeMuth walks readers through the raw story of her struggles and the way Jesus works to mend and restore. There's likely tenfold the number of people that need this book than you'd think. Her husband Patrick's words show us that many spouses need it as well.
March 11, 2014
Wow! An amazing heartfelt book. It was a book with extremes, filled with unbelievable devastation and a wild and untamed hope and courage. I loved that the author does not diminish the pain but accepts it as part of her story. She never says "love Jesus and you will be healed of all pain and hurt. You will forget your past and get over it"
April 22, 2014
Unshakable truth, grace-soaked words, and unending love and compassion and support and understanding flowing through the pages. The only reason why I gave it 4 stars instead of 5 is that the book seemed to be more directed at adult/married women instead of women as a whole. I am neither married nor an adult, so those specific things regarding sex in marriage, etc., didn't really apply to me.
April 15, 2014
This is a must read for sexual abuse survivors and those who love them. Mary shares from her own perspective as a sexual abuse survivor how, though what happened to her has impacted her, she is NOT MARKED and can have healing and fullness of life.
Here's an interview I did with Mary: http://velvetashes.com/?s=not+marked
Here's an interview I did with Mary: http://velvetashes.com/?s=not+marked
April 2, 2015
Honest. Challenging. Helpful. If you or someone you know has been sexually abused, this book offers insight, understanding and encouragement. It is a tough subject approached with intense honesty here. It took me a number of months to read only because I digested it a bit at a time. But healing is like that. Well worth the time and money.
Read
January 8, 2014Honest and raw. Mary shares the story of her abuse and her steps toward healing, her husband interjects with additional helpful insights. A harbinger of hope for those who have been sexually abused and those who love them.
March 10, 2014
Read my review at GospelToday.com! http://www.gospeltoday.com/blog/2014/...
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