Letters to My Sons: A Humane Vision for Human Relationships

by M.G. Bianco

In Letters to My Sons, M. G. Bianco writes real letters to his real sons on a variety of topics from love, hate, marriage, adultery, and interpersonal relationships. His letters seek to encourage his sons, and now other fathers and men to understand the basis and nature of relationships so that both parties to the relationship can be fully human.

Relationships, rather than esteeming others in their full humanity, are often reduced to mechanical and consumer-based interactions where both parties are dehumanized. We even look at others as if they are nothing more than an object to be used or desired. This dehumanizes both the looker and the looked upon. Furthermore, we excuse our actions by our faulty views of love, hate, and the rituals that define our relationships.

In offering a humane vision for human relationships, M. G. Bianco offers wisdom to make all of us more human in our relationships. He does so through letters that can also serve as models for fathers and other men, women, and parents to imitate in their own interactions with their sons.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

130 pages, Paperback

First published January 17, 2014

About the author

M. G. Bianco is married to his altogether lovely high school sweetheart, Patty. They have three kids they homeschool together, and he works as the Director of Education for Classical Conversations. Is he a modern day C. S. Lewis? No. But he really enjoys reading him.

Reviews

[Marc Hays · Rating 5 out of 5]

M.G. Bianco has performed a great service to Christian fathers, as many as will read it, by sharing these letters with the world. He is the earthiest kind of theologian, by which I mean the best kind of theologian. He is the kind of theologian that matters. In fact, I only use that word, theologian, because I know that he cannot know man like he does except that he’s known God truly. This work, to me, is a great piece of Christian anthropology and sociology, meaning the kind of work that needs to be written in our day. I have been DEEPLY moved by the book. I have been wondering how to approach these important conversations with my future teenage sons for years, and now I know how to prepare them to properly understand human sexuality, meaning how to love their neighbor, by teaching them the principles of loving their neighbor now. I can’t wait to read the next one.

[Amy Ivey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel honored that I know the author of this book personally. I can hear his voice in these words written to his sons. It is a reflection of a genuine loving father's heart. He tells his sons that "the eyes are going to help us get to the heart of the matter," and that "part of guarding your eyes, then is to learn to behold beauty in the simplicity of awe and wonder." In our post modern world, we have lost the concept of objective beauty, but it does exist. Matt calls his sons (and us!) back to the importance of beauty and absolute truth. I particularly enjoyed his letters on the liturgy of love and thankfulness. He discusses the importance of husbands and wives maintaining their own liturgy of love, that is their rituals and routines, their patterns. "Liturgical consistency strengthens the attachment, connection, and even the feelings between husbands and wives. If marriage is a house, liturgical consistency is what holds it all together - marriage mortar, as it were." I've been married for twenty-five years, and I can testify to the importance of our liturgy in the strength of our marriage. The author reminds us to be thankful: "As you seek to find the right distance between you and others, thanksgiving will be your guide. As you seek to love others, even your enemies, declaring thanks for them will aid you. As you seek to maintain an edifying liturgy in your relationships, you will find that thankfulness will be a helpful and essential component." Thanks for sharing your father's heart with all of us! Looking forward to your next book already.

[Kaleena Rheeya · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good book for any parent to read if they are looking for inspiration on how to talk to their children about complicated topics as they get older. I found myself thinking of life lessons and personal references I could use for all the topics covered in Mr. Bianco's 21 letters. You can tell Mr. Bianco placed much care and thought into what he had to say. It was nice that he expounded on his thoughts rather than reiterating the old diatribes/phrases parents often default to when discussing these items. I plan to share this book with fellow friends and family who are also parents.

*Book won through Goodreads First Reads Giveaways.

[Cindy Rollins · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have found it is much harder to judge a book when you know the author. Imagine knowing C.S. Lewis? It is easier to be dismissive and inattentive. After I got past the "I-know-Matt" stage I began to greatly appreciate this little volume. In fact, by the end I was convinced that it was the perfect book to add to my 11th grade son's reading list for next year.

In this volume, Matt writes a series of letters to his teen sons covering all kinds of topics in an honest but circumspect way. I am so glad Matt wrote these down and I look forward to my own Alex and Andrew reading them.

[Thomas Kidd · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fine book that provides many good points for a father to ponder as he steers his maturing son to holiness (and as the father pursues holiness, himself). This is not a heavily sourced book citing to well known theologians (such works do indeed have value), but is a conversational book with thoughtful reflections of how humans should relate to one another in the Kingdom of God.

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good collection of short letters written for young men, or parents shepherding young men. The letters deal primarily with sexual purity and maturity.

This is a great book for parents to read as their sons enter puberty, and also very good for young men to read in high school.

[Steve · Rating 5 out of 5]

First rate. Full of insights and a model for all of us fathers- a father speaking to his sons.

He concludes,

“I only ask even as adults, you continue to honour your father and mother. Honour the ineritance of faith, culture, and identity you have received from your parents, grandparents and family, from the church, worship, and scripture; and from the cultural institutions that guard it. Read the great books and love them. Be enchanted by beautiful art and beautiful music. Invent good stories and tell them. Laugh at good jokes. Feast on good food. Drink good wine. Love the wife of your youth, whoever she may be. Be fathers to your children. Serve God. Love your neighbour. Love your enemy. Love others. Mend. Despise not the poor. Work hard. Play hard. Forgive freely. Love life well; live life fully human.“

116

[Jo · Rating 4 out of 5]

A small, insightful book that describes how we ought to treat others as image-bearers of God. He spends a great deal of time relating this idea to sexual purity. He had some good, balanced thoughts on love, which he described not just as an action or an emotion, but as a commitment. He goes on to say, "That to love is an act of the will and not an emotion, however, does not mean that it is not accompanied by complementary emotions. God is kind in that he frequently--but not always--makes it easier for us to love someone by encouraging us with complementary emotions. Our error, however, is that we want to make those emotions the basis for our love..." I found that a helpful description of the interaction of commitment and emotion in a loving relationship.

[Tracey · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm torn over how to rate this book. It's content is good and the writing is good, and I would definitely like to read more by this author. However, I think the book still falls into the 'pretty good 3 range', rather than the good 4s and brilliant 5s. This is not to say that I didn't like the book. I did and I plan to read it aloud to my own sons.

[Joel Carter · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting read. Liked the format. Some insightful thoughts about different aspects of manhood and relationships. A few will stick with me, like the liturgies of relationships in one of the later chapters and the emphasis on gratitude in one of the chapters.

[Lynn Joshua · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was good, not great. Too bad, because he speaks vital truth.
I was disappointed at the brevity and dull writing. It would be improved without the personal anecdotes and speaking directly to his sons - as this made it sentimental and boring.