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Telling Stories in the Dark: Finding healing and hope in sharing our sadness, grief, trauma, and pain
In the darkest corners of our lives, where sorrow, trauma, grief and pain reside, there exists a profound capacity for resilience and hope. Telling Stories in the Dark by Jeffrey Munroe is a uniquely inspiring non-fiction book that illuminates the transformative power of sharing our most profound experiences of suffering.
Within the pages of this remarkable compilation, you will encounter the stories of ordinary individuals who, when confronted with profound adversity, chose to do something they transformed their pain. Munroe, a skilled storyteller and compassionate guide, takes us on a poignant journey through the lives of these remarkable individuals who have harnessed the redemptive potential of their suffering, what Munroe’s mentor Frederick Buechner calls “the stewardship of pain.”
When we tell our stories, and when we listen well to each other’s stories, we discover much about what it means to be human. We discover there are others like us. We discover our feelings aren’t unusual. We discover we aren’t alone. And sometimes we discover God in the midst of our stories.
In the Foreword, Sarah Arthur, the author of a dozen of her own inspiring books, describes Telling Stories in the Dark as helping readers to rediscover “a faith that finds itself in the dark. Here in these pages, that’s what you’ll find. Story after story of those who walk a similar road. Conversations with those who suffer about how they do -- or don’t -- experience the God who promises never to leave us nor forsake us. Before intellectually exploring any of his chosen topics, Jeff embeds those topics in the lived reality of ordinary people on their worst possible days. Because this is where God meets us.”
Karen Mulder, founder of the Wisdom of the Wounded ministry, “Jeff Munroe is a masterful storyteller, brilliantly weaving together the compelling real-life stories of individuals who’ve been wounded by tragedy with experts’ commentary on how to find insight, hope and healing from each narrative. We all experience deep loss at some point in our lives, and Telling Stories in the Dark is a rich contemplation on navigating trauma and grief.”
Among the many authors, scholars and counselors you will meet in the chapters of this book are the late Frederick Buechner, the bestselling author who is one of Munroe’s mentors, plus Roger Nelson, pastor of Hope Christian Reformed Church in Oak Forest, Illinois; clinical psychologist Daniel Rooks; scholar and author Marilyn McEntyre; Mitch Kinsinger, pastor of Arlington Hills Lutheran Church in St. Paul, Minnesota; therapist Mary Anderson; Suzanne McDonald and Chuck DeGroat, professors at Western Theological Seminary; poet Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer; pastor Sophie Mathonnet-VanderWell; Yale University professor emeritus Nicholas Wolterstorff; and artist Makoto Fujimura.
This book is a poignant reminder that no matter how deep our wounds may be, we possess the innate ability to transform our pain into a source of strength and growth.
Through the power of sharing our stories, Munroe invites us to connect with these brave individuals, each of whom has found a unique path to healing, and in doing so, he illuminates the collective potential for resilience that exists within us all.
Telling Stories in the Dark is ideal for individual reflection and group discussion. It’s a great gift for friends who are grieving—because Telling Stories is guaranteed to leave readers inspired, uplifted, and deeply moved.
Within the pages of this remarkable compilation, you will encounter the stories of ordinary individuals who, when confronted with profound adversity, chose to do something they transformed their pain. Munroe, a skilled storyteller and compassionate guide, takes us on a poignant journey through the lives of these remarkable individuals who have harnessed the redemptive potential of their suffering, what Munroe’s mentor Frederick Buechner calls “the stewardship of pain.”
When we tell our stories, and when we listen well to each other’s stories, we discover much about what it means to be human. We discover there are others like us. We discover our feelings aren’t unusual. We discover we aren’t alone. And sometimes we discover God in the midst of our stories.
In the Foreword, Sarah Arthur, the author of a dozen of her own inspiring books, describes Telling Stories in the Dark as helping readers to rediscover “a faith that finds itself in the dark. Here in these pages, that’s what you’ll find. Story after story of those who walk a similar road. Conversations with those who suffer about how they do -- or don’t -- experience the God who promises never to leave us nor forsake us. Before intellectually exploring any of his chosen topics, Jeff embeds those topics in the lived reality of ordinary people on their worst possible days. Because this is where God meets us.”
Karen Mulder, founder of the Wisdom of the Wounded ministry, “Jeff Munroe is a masterful storyteller, brilliantly weaving together the compelling real-life stories of individuals who’ve been wounded by tragedy with experts’ commentary on how to find insight, hope and healing from each narrative. We all experience deep loss at some point in our lives, and Telling Stories in the Dark is a rich contemplation on navigating trauma and grief.”
Among the many authors, scholars and counselors you will meet in the chapters of this book are the late Frederick Buechner, the bestselling author who is one of Munroe’s mentors, plus Roger Nelson, pastor of Hope Christian Reformed Church in Oak Forest, Illinois; clinical psychologist Daniel Rooks; scholar and author Marilyn McEntyre; Mitch Kinsinger, pastor of Arlington Hills Lutheran Church in St. Paul, Minnesota; therapist Mary Anderson; Suzanne McDonald and Chuck DeGroat, professors at Western Theological Seminary; poet Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer; pastor Sophie Mathonnet-VanderWell; Yale University professor emeritus Nicholas Wolterstorff; and artist Makoto Fujimura.
This book is a poignant reminder that no matter how deep our wounds may be, we possess the innate ability to transform our pain into a source of strength and growth.
Through the power of sharing our stories, Munroe invites us to connect with these brave individuals, each of whom has found a unique path to healing, and in doing so, he illuminates the collective potential for resilience that exists within us all.
Telling Stories in the Dark is ideal for individual reflection and group discussion. It’s a great gift for friends who are grieving—because Telling Stories is guaranteed to leave readers inspired, uplifted, and deeply moved.
218 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 30, 2024
13 people are currently reading
75 people want to read
About the author
Jeffrey Munroe
3 books2 followersJeffrey Munroe is executive vice president at Western Theological Seminary, where he also teaches writing. He was a charter member of the advisory board of the Buechner Institute of Faith and Culture, and is an ordained minister in the Reformed Church in America.
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
May 22, 2024
'He doesn't force the hope'
Do you find yourself immediately reacting with suspicion to any new magazine column or book that promises "The 5 Secrets" or "Ten Tips" or "The Three Keys" to life's challenges—from planning for retirement to beating cancer to surviving trauma? After a lifetime as a journalist, skepticism is my second nature and now—especially in this Tik Tok age—I am seeing other journalists, authors and media producers leaning toward the temptation to distill wisdom down into searchable nuggets.
For most of these big life challenges, though, there simply aren't any truly universal "secrets" or "tips" or "keys"!
And, if you are a friend who is regularly glancing at my Goodreads reviews, you will recognize that this is an ongoing theme in my writing. The complexity of each human life—and the need to compassionately consider a wide range of pathways—is also a theme you will find in my recent reviews of books such as Thriving on a Riff , Baptistland, and Not So Sorry.
That's the single most important thing I appreciate and want to convey to you about Jeffrey Munroe's new book about coping with deep and long-lasting trauma: There are no easy answers.
I found myself wholeheartedly agreeing with a recent review of his book by Oakland, California, pastor Beth Carroll, who writes in part: "Perhaps the bravest and most sating part of Munroe’s work is that he doesn’t force the hope. Each story prioritizes the honesty of the human experience, trusting that the hope belonging to the Holy Spirit will bubble to the surface."
Yes, this is a Christian book in the sense that most of the stories and the many experts who contribute their wisdom to these chapters identify as Christian and draw on spiritual resources from the Christian tradition. But this book easily crosses over to draw on other global wisdom, including Kintsugi, the Japanese tradition of repairing broken ceramics in a way that the original cracks are visibly honored in gold, silver or platinum.
In my late 60s, I often repeat Queen Elizabeth II's wisdom after 9/11: "Grief is the price we pay for love." I am thankful that my wife and I have traveled widely, have made friends everywhere we have been and that means those friends can—and do—call on us in times of need. As you can imagine, we are acquainted with grief. We are acquainted with trauma and chronic pain.
That's why I react almost viscerally to folks marketing sure-fire, ten-step solutions to life's crises. I just do not believe there is such a one-size-fits-all recipe for meeting the needs of deep pain—and also the daily quest for meaning. Why should we climb out of bed each morning? How can we face another stressful day? And, at the end of the day, did anything I do matter?
If you've read this far and you're nodding your head—then, I can end this review here and urge you to order your own copy of Jeff's book. Like his own mentor Frederic Buechner, Jeff has a pastoral heart of compassion that understands how precious these real-life stories he is sharing are to the families involved. And he has a professional journalist's heart for reaching out to find those unique experts, coast to coast, who just might be able to add a few gems of wisdom in each case.
This book is as close to a prose version of Kintsugi as I can imagine.
Do you find yourself immediately reacting with suspicion to any new magazine column or book that promises "The 5 Secrets" or "Ten Tips" or "The Three Keys" to life's challenges—from planning for retirement to beating cancer to surviving trauma? After a lifetime as a journalist, skepticism is my second nature and now—especially in this Tik Tok age—I am seeing other journalists, authors and media producers leaning toward the temptation to distill wisdom down into searchable nuggets.
For most of these big life challenges, though, there simply aren't any truly universal "secrets" or "tips" or "keys"!
And, if you are a friend who is regularly glancing at my Goodreads reviews, you will recognize that this is an ongoing theme in my writing. The complexity of each human life—and the need to compassionately consider a wide range of pathways—is also a theme you will find in my recent reviews of books such as Thriving on a Riff , Baptistland, and Not So Sorry.
That's the single most important thing I appreciate and want to convey to you about Jeffrey Munroe's new book about coping with deep and long-lasting trauma: There are no easy answers.
I found myself wholeheartedly agreeing with a recent review of his book by Oakland, California, pastor Beth Carroll, who writes in part: "Perhaps the bravest and most sating part of Munroe’s work is that he doesn’t force the hope. Each story prioritizes the honesty of the human experience, trusting that the hope belonging to the Holy Spirit will bubble to the surface."
Yes, this is a Christian book in the sense that most of the stories and the many experts who contribute their wisdom to these chapters identify as Christian and draw on spiritual resources from the Christian tradition. But this book easily crosses over to draw on other global wisdom, including Kintsugi, the Japanese tradition of repairing broken ceramics in a way that the original cracks are visibly honored in gold, silver or platinum.
In my late 60s, I often repeat Queen Elizabeth II's wisdom after 9/11: "Grief is the price we pay for love." I am thankful that my wife and I have traveled widely, have made friends everywhere we have been and that means those friends can—and do—call on us in times of need. As you can imagine, we are acquainted with grief. We are acquainted with trauma and chronic pain.
That's why I react almost viscerally to folks marketing sure-fire, ten-step solutions to life's crises. I just do not believe there is such a one-size-fits-all recipe for meeting the needs of deep pain—and also the daily quest for meaning. Why should we climb out of bed each morning? How can we face another stressful day? And, at the end of the day, did anything I do matter?
If you've read this far and you're nodding your head—then, I can end this review here and urge you to order your own copy of Jeff's book. Like his own mentor Frederic Buechner, Jeff has a pastoral heart of compassion that understands how precious these real-life stories he is sharing are to the families involved. And he has a professional journalist's heart for reaching out to find those unique experts, coast to coast, who just might be able to add a few gems of wisdom in each case.
This book is as close to a prose version of Kintsugi as I can imagine.
April 1, 2024
If I had only read this book as a teenager I would have better understood my childhood and been prepared for the twists and turns of life. I would also have been a better person to all I touched. In my sixties, I worked over three years at a trauma-informed nonprofit agency assisting acute, at-risk youth and adults. It was there I learned what trauma is and how it affects us all. "Telling Stories in the Dark" should be mandatory reading for anyone who assists at-risk people, including all in the fields of medicine and law. Jeffrey Munroe has carefully chosen a spectrum of traumatic stories reflecting the impact of illness, disability, crime, death, dementia, racial discrimination, you name it. He blends these profiles in hardship and healing with insights from medical, psychological and spiritual experts to help us learn about the way trauma takes deep root in our brain matter and our souls. And "Telling Stories" allows us to discover ways to respond to the wounded and accompany them on their journeys from darkness into light. This is a book we share with friends who are hurting and those who they hurt.
November 6, 2024
Jeffrey Munroe uses a variety of stories to get at the core of grief; it is a range of human experiences in suffering with a range of ways to process and go through it. I think Munroe does well to persuade Christians to carry their grief in more serious and engaged ways. I recommend to the sufferer seeking to suffer more wholeheartedly, the not-yet sufferer seeking wisdom, and any Christian seeking to walk with people through a hard and challenging life.
March 12, 2024
Jeff Munroe cites Frederick Buechner’s essay “Adolescence and the Stewardship of Pain” as a life-changing experience, one that served him well as he dealt with pain and trauma in his own life, and functions as a framing concept for his “telling stories in the dark.”
The accounts detailed in this book, real-life stories of individuals who’ve experienced the wounds of grief, pain and trauma, are profoundly powerful, and Munroe is a master at engaging us in these tragedies. But he doesn’t stop there. Each story comes with reflections by experts and professionals with insights into trauma and, thankfully, healing.
In conversations with these experts, we learn how people experience trauma and pain differently. With these insights, Munroe thus serves as a travel guide, leading us into the possibilities of hope and healing. Along the way, as he suggests, the stories say something “about God and our place in the world.”
I know of very few people who’ve not experienced grief, tragedy, or trauma of one sort or another. For almost everyone then, this engaging and insightful book is a godsend. Read it and reap.
The accounts detailed in this book, real-life stories of individuals who’ve experienced the wounds of grief, pain and trauma, are profoundly powerful, and Munroe is a master at engaging us in these tragedies. But he doesn’t stop there. Each story comes with reflections by experts and professionals with insights into trauma and, thankfully, healing.
In conversations with these experts, we learn how people experience trauma and pain differently. With these insights, Munroe thus serves as a travel guide, leading us into the possibilities of hope and healing. Along the way, as he suggests, the stories say something “about God and our place in the world.”
I know of very few people who’ve not experienced grief, tragedy, or trauma of one sort or another. For almost everyone then, this engaging and insightful book is a godsend. Read it and reap.
June 4, 2024
I was gifted this book and I couldn't be more grateful. There's so much I want to say about it. Instead I'll site a few "nuggets" that touched my heart.
"Life is precious. You can be here today and gone tomorrow. Don't take life and those you love for granted."
"Grief does not go away. We will go on and function and it can become part of a story that has a lot of grace and goodness and even laughter in it. Still, it's important to recognize that it's never going to go away. We never forget."
"Grief is being totally present with your love for someone no longer with you. The loss of that physical presence is painful but charged with so much love it's beautiful."
"Life is precious. You can be here today and gone tomorrow. Don't take life and those you love for granted."
"Grief does not go away. We will go on and function and it can become part of a story that has a lot of grace and goodness and even laughter in it. Still, it's important to recognize that it's never going to go away. We never forget."
"Grief is being totally present with your love for someone no longer with you. The loss of that physical presence is painful but charged with so much love it's beautiful."
February 1, 2024
Jeff Munroe is a fine writer. His earlier book, Reading Buechner, is memorable for his appreciative reading of one of my favorite writers. This book is memorable for its appreciative telling of the stories of people who (as the subtitle puts it) have known sadness, grief, trauma, and pain. Though the stories can be sad, each time Jeff finds redemptive meaning and hope where others might find only despair. I recommend!
February 8, 2024
I couldn't put it down! I usually don't read books on topics such as grief, but I'm so glad I read this one. It is filled with compelling stories, including several role models for us to deal with grief. One of the great aspects of the book is that each story is followed by a discussion with an expert in the area, who reacts to and comments on the story to help us better understand it. Wonderful read!
February 16, 2024
Part theologian, part therapist, part storyteller, part journalist, and fully human, Jeff Munroe has gifted us with this beautiful book that walks beside the grieving, walks beside all of us. I especially appreciated how Munroe did not stay distant from the pain, but vulnerably included his own story. He has earned the right to be heard, and shows that faith does not need to be trite or attempt to explain away pain. Instead, faith makes way for the rawness of our emotions.
September 10, 2024
Frederick Buechner’s wisdom regarding "the stewardship of pain" lives on, and finds beautiful new expressions, in Telling Stories in the Dark. Munroe, for his part, has had his fair share of pain to steward, and we do learn some of his story here. But this isn’t a navel-gazing book. Instead, in a truly unique approach, Munroe invites us into his life as well as the stories of people he knows who have walked a variety of difficult paths. In each chapter, he then brings in a “guide,” you might say—a theologian or pastor, a psychologist or painter—to reflect on the story just recounted with wisdom and grace.
Read more at timhoiland.com
Read more at timhoiland.com
February 9, 2025
A collection of powerful real stories of loss and trauma, with the goal of normalizing pain and also our expectation that God will show up. Strong support for Buechner’s claim that we should steward our pain well by sharing our stories with others. The chapter highlighting Nicholas Wolterstorff, kintsugi, and lament was the one that made the biggest impression on me!
February 9, 2024
Tender, humane, insightful. Extraordinary.
October 14, 2024
Jeff, thank you.
That’s about all I can muster right now in the form of a review. It’s going to take me a few days to formulate my thoughts. I’ll add them when I do.
That’s about all I can muster right now in the form of a review. It’s going to take me a few days to formulate my thoughts. I’ll add them when I do.
February 25, 2025
Powerful and important. I will re-read.
December 26, 2025
This book is a reread for sure and highly recommend especially to anyone experiencing loss. Well done.
October 22, 2024
"...as much as throughout my career I have held up theology as essential, there is so much bad theology out there about why traumatic events happen and what God is supposedly accomplishing through these events that I believe we've reached a tipping point where we just need to keep our mouths shut and simply love people instead of offering explanations for the unexplainable."
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews