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わたしは壁になりたい [Watashi wa Kabe ni Naritai] #3
I Want to Be a Wall, Vol. 3
Gaku and Yuriko prepare to face the final hurdle of their newlywed life—meeting Gaku’s grandmother! But as they do, the pair are forced to consider exactly what kind of relationship they want to have and what kind of life they want to build together...
178 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 1, 2023
9 people are currently reading
315 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 130 reviews
June 27, 2024
This manga doesn’t have enough reviews, so I’m leaving one!
This has been one of the most realistic, accurate, and genuine depictions of the asexual experience that I have ever read. Every volume of this series has made me cry for every reason possible. Yuriko reflects my own experiences and feelings so accurately at times that it’s spooky! But this was a phenomenal wrap up to one of my favorite manga series of all time - I’m only sad that it’s over.
If you ever want to understand what it’s like to be ace or want to feel less alone and hopeless as an ace person, this is hands down the most respectful account I have ever seen. The art style is absolutely gorgeous and adorable as well! I think I’ll love this series forever. What a great way to celebrate pride 🖤🩶🤍💜
This has been one of the most realistic, accurate, and genuine depictions of the asexual experience that I have ever read. Every volume of this series has made me cry for every reason possible. Yuriko reflects my own experiences and feelings so accurately at times that it’s spooky! But this was a phenomenal wrap up to one of my favorite manga series of all time - I’m only sad that it’s over.
If you ever want to understand what it’s like to be ace or want to feel less alone and hopeless as an ace person, this is hands down the most respectful account I have ever seen. The art style is absolutely gorgeous and adorable as well! I think I’ll love this series forever. What a great way to celebrate pride 🖤🩶🤍💜
January 7, 2025
Why do people get married? The standard answer is because they're in (romantic) love, but this short series reminds us that that's not the only reason. For our protagonists, it began as a way to escape endless social pressure, but also as a way to not be alone. Not everyone can count on having a friend or sibling to live with, and if marriage fulfills the need for non-romantic, non-sexual companionship, then why not?
According to some people, because the point of marriage is children. This final volume tackles The Child Question, and it does so beautifully - the well-meaning pressure put on Yuriko and Gakurouta by their families quickly morphs into accusations of selfishness and claiming that having children is the ultimate happiness. And maybe it was, for them - but Yuriko and Gakurouta are their own people, and that means that they get to have their own happiness. The way that her parents and his grandmother can't see that they're the ones being selfish is indicative of what it means to be different in a heteronormative world. (Not that het couples have to want kids, but I'm speaking from my own, aro/ace perspective here.) Isn't it more selfish to force someone to have children they don't want to satisfy your own desire to be a grandparent? You have children because you want them, not because you want grandchildren.
The question of what makes a family is central to the quiet ending of the series. The inclusion of two gay couples with children makes the point that not every family looks the same (and that Japan has a long way to go), while Gakurouta's resolution with his love is quiet and understated. Everyone should get to find their own home and happiness, no matter what that looks like from the outside, and ultimately, that's what this series is about.
Gay, straight, ace, or anywhere in between, we're all okay. And if we know that, maybe someday the rest of the world will see it, too.
According to some people, because the point of marriage is children. This final volume tackles The Child Question, and it does so beautifully - the well-meaning pressure put on Yuriko and Gakurouta by their families quickly morphs into accusations of selfishness and claiming that having children is the ultimate happiness. And maybe it was, for them - but Yuriko and Gakurouta are their own people, and that means that they get to have their own happiness. The way that her parents and his grandmother can't see that they're the ones being selfish is indicative of what it means to be different in a heteronormative world. (Not that het couples have to want kids, but I'm speaking from my own, aro/ace perspective here.) Isn't it more selfish to force someone to have children they don't want to satisfy your own desire to be a grandparent? You have children because you want them, not because you want grandchildren.
The question of what makes a family is central to the quiet ending of the series. The inclusion of two gay couples with children makes the point that not every family looks the same (and that Japan has a long way to go), while Gakurouta's resolution with his love is quiet and understated. Everyone should get to find their own home and happiness, no matter what that looks like from the outside, and ultimately, that's what this series is about.
Gay, straight, ace, or anywhere in between, we're all okay. And if we know that, maybe someday the rest of the world will see it, too.
July 5, 2024
Honestly? I'm aroace myself, and I can't really recommend this manga. Mild spoilers ahead.
I found the first two volumes more or less alright, because I initially liked the thought of their relationship. The premise sounded promising, and the first few chapters were admittedly interesting. But then it went downhill and especially the third volume really disappointed me. The female main character became increasingly more bland as the focus clearly moved onto the male lead and especially his childhood friend - and first crush - Sousuke and his relationship troubles. I kind of feel like the author ran out of ideas for more ace-centered chapters, which isn't even surprising me that much - after all, what is there to tell about a relationship when there's no love and not even real chemistry between the characters? Still, it was disappointing. Maybe to get back at least a little to the supposed main subject they then threw in some aphobia from the main character's friends and family, although only in a few panels before it never got mentioned again. Then the focus went back to Sousuke.
So, well. Maybe the way the story is told might be revolutionary for Japan, but from a Western perspective I didn't really find it all that great. It definitely wasn't worth the read as an ace person, and I'm not even sure I would recommend it to an ally, because the blandness of the female aspec MC could possibly make them think that all aces are as bland as she is.
And oh well. Maybe there'll be better represantation in manga form in the future, and this series paved the way for it. I'd love that, actually.
I found the first two volumes more or less alright, because I initially liked the thought of their relationship. The premise sounded promising, and the first few chapters were admittedly interesting. But then it went downhill and especially the third volume really disappointed me. The female main character became increasingly more bland as the focus clearly moved onto the male lead and especially his childhood friend - and first crush - Sousuke and his relationship troubles. I kind of feel like the author ran out of ideas for more ace-centered chapters, which isn't even surprising me that much - after all, what is there to tell about a relationship when there's no love and not even real chemistry between the characters? Still, it was disappointing. Maybe to get back at least a little to the supposed main subject they then threw in some aphobia from the main character's friends and family, although only in a few panels before it never got mentioned again. Then the focus went back to Sousuke.
So, well. Maybe the way the story is told might be revolutionary for Japan, but from a Western perspective I didn't really find it all that great. It definitely wasn't worth the read as an ace person, and I'm not even sure I would recommend it to an ally, because the blandness of the female aspec MC could possibly make them think that all aces are as bland as she is.
And oh well. Maybe there'll be better represantation in manga form in the future, and this series paved the way for it. I'd love that, actually.
June 19, 2024
I really enjoyed this foray into an 'atypical' marriage, and I loved the aroace rep. The ex-girlfriend issue with Sousuke felt a bit forced? As if they wanted a reason for Sousuke to clue on to Gakurouta's feelings and couldn't think of another way. That said, I did enjoy it, and examining whether 'normal' can make you happy. As someone who knows that normal - or even perhaps living with someone - would be so suffocating, it was nice to see it looked at, when it's so rare to see in media. Normal is overrated.
January 15, 2025
Wow the importance and depth of this manga 😭
December 20, 2025
this series is so heartwarming - a celebration of nonromantic love and the potential depth of all types of partnerships. marriage can be chosen for a multitude of reasons, and for our protagonists, steady companionship is enough. really glad this exists :) rtc!!
January 31, 2025
This was a great conclusion to a short and sweet story.
November 13, 2025
I think the ideals of this manga will get people thinking and for some it might be something they just cannot accept. The idea of what marriage is. The idea of why people get married. The purpose of ones life and goals. Not every married couple needs to have or wants children. Not everyone needs to be married to find happiness.
This manga explores what it means to be happy from all viewpoints. Whether that's in a relationship or not. Or with kids or not. In a relationship for love or companionship. These have always been some tough social points, pressures, expectations. The point is that no one should try telling others how they should live their lives based on their own happiness. Everyone should get to decide for themselves.
This manga explores what it means to be happy from all viewpoints. Whether that's in a relationship or not. Or with kids or not. In a relationship for love or companionship. These have always been some tough social points, pressures, expectations. The point is that no one should try telling others how they should live their lives based on their own happiness. Everyone should get to decide for themselves.
July 9, 2024
I have SO MANY FEELINGS! About this series.
The art is well done. The story builds beautifully on itself and the characters are well written and likable. It’s a beautiful found family that depicts wonderfully different queer lifestyles. The main couple are so supportive with each other and work hard to get to know each other and care about what the others into and what they’re doing. Just amazing. Wonderful.
I love an asexual centric story too. Of queer stories they just don’t get enough representation. Again, amazing. Beautiful. Wonderful. Read it.
The art is well done. The story builds beautifully on itself and the characters are well written and likable. It’s a beautiful found family that depicts wonderfully different queer lifestyles. The main couple are so supportive with each other and work hard to get to know each other and care about what the others into and what they’re doing. Just amazing. Wonderful.
I love an asexual centric story too. Of queer stories they just don’t get enough representation. Again, amazing. Beautiful. Wonderful. Read it.
August 4, 2024
If people had to live in this world without family, friends [...], without someone or someplace to rely on in times of crisis and without knowing that you have those "lifelines", then they wouldn't be able to sleep at night or even forget that meals are supposed to be tasty.
qué final. no tengo palabras que decir sólo muchos sentimientos bonitos (como esta historia) dentro del pecho y muchas ganas de repetir hasta el fin de los días que son mi familia y este es mi hogar❤️🩹.
May 28, 2025
I'm hurt:))))
the part abt not wanting children abt how everyone's idea of family and comfort and stability is different ?
also how i felt all the insecurity when it comes to never having been in love and how scared that makes me of giving advice to others or my relations with others and how I might come off ???
I'm dead pls do scrape me off the floor
the part abt not wanting children abt how everyone's idea of family and comfort and stability is different ?
also how i felt all the insecurity when it comes to never having been in love and how scared that makes me of giving advice to others or my relations with others and how I might come off ???
I'm dead pls do scrape me off the floor
June 23, 2024
A cute ending to the series. But also like somewhat deep conversations on how people choose to live their lives to be happy and that the traditional family with kids thing isn't for everyone and why is marriage.
December 23, 2024
platonic love for the win! I really loved the idea that trying to force yourself to live society’s view of a “normal” life can be extremely suffocating and how the traditional idea of a happy life is not for everyone. There are many ways to be content with the life you live!
June 26, 2024
Reading this was emotionally overwhelming, so it's honestly kind of difficult to sort out my feelings just yet. Like with the other two volumes, I was caught in a state of anxiety for sections of it, so worried that it would take a turn that would ruin it for me.
It's possible that ended up being true for other readers. The thing about LGBTQA+ books...any books, really...is that nothing can ever be truly universal, and attempts to Convey Everyone's Experiences Equally tend to come across as stereotype-riddled, insincere messes. I have some specific (and even wildly famous) authors in mind, but. There's a reason I don't read their works anymore.
So this series isn't necessarily something that would appeal to or resonate with every single person who picks it up. There are parts of it that still, honestly, made me feel really sad, and still a bit isolated. But Shirono did an exceptional job of spinning out a story that felt genuine, heartfelt, and deeply caring of as many points of view as possible, without pulling too far away from the integrity of the central characters and their experiences.
The main message of this series isn't: do exactly what these two characters did. It's: you are in charge of your own life, your choices are your own, and happiness can be found wherever you choose to seek it.
It's incredibly empowering, and I hope more people are able to follow this advice and really, truly, seek out the futures that are the best for them.
I also really appreciate that we have several examples of people from different backgrounds, life experiences, family dynamics, and even cultures (Gil) all discovering that they don't fit into the typical idea of "normal." There's a tendency to blame certain types of upbringings for making people stray from that traditional path that everyone is supposed to "naturally" want to follow. After all, if you don't settle down in a monogamous heterosexual marriage, buy a house, have kids, and carry those traditions on to the next generation, it's probably because there's something wrong with you.
For example, being from a broken home, like Sousuke, who to my delight got a lot of his own backstory and page time in this volume. His story still doesn't have quite as much depth as Gaku or Yuriko, although I think that may be a little bit intentional, so the final pages can be sort of open-ended. Is it possible that, years down the line, Sousuke and Gaku actually find happiness together? Or would they possibly settle into a sort of queerplatonic relationship? Maybe. But I'm actually okay with not knowing. Because that's kind of the point...there doesn't have to be A Love Story for things to wrap up nicely, or for a genuinely happy life to carry on.
It's hard to know exactly what Sousuke will do, but I do find it very interesting that he's not as "normal" as Gaku, despite knowing him for basically his entire life, has always thought. Like Gaku and Yuriko, he's spent years watching the people around him settle down and have kids and, thread by thread, snap the connections and social life he's always valued. Because he's different. He doesn't fit in.
He's straight, at least as far as anyone is aware, but I get the distinct impression that he may be aromantic. Not wholly the same as Yuriko, who's fully aroace, since he has enjoyed dating and doesn't seem to entirely want to give up on it, but it is interesting that his older sister encourages him to. She doesn't see a future where he gets married and has kids like all his friends are doing, and she doesn't mean that in a cruel way. It's just...not his path.
And really, the main reason Sousuke has even gone down this path for so many years, dating so many women he wasn't ever genuinely in love with, despite trying his hardest, was because he so desperately didn't want to be alone, or abnormal. He grew up in a family that made him really happy and where he felt loved, but everyone around him looked down on or scorned or pitied him, because he was the illegitimate child of a single mother, and was largely raised by his grandparents, since she spent a lot of her time at work to make sure she could care for them.
But the key point here is that he felt loved. He felt valued. He liked his life. But it hurt him, all through his childhood and into adulthood, that other people never thought he could be happy in a family like that. That warped his perception of what "happiness" had to be, so he spent decades trying to chase it through romantic relationships, while never feeling as fulfilled as he'd been at home, with his mom and older half-sister, or as a kid playing at Gaku's house.
One of the devastating things about this volume in particular is how much loss people experience throughout their lives when they're crammed into traditional boxes where they know they don't fit, but try so desperately to make work...for the sake of people around them, for filial respect, or because they're afraid of being ostracized by society.
Gaku talks about this with Yuriko, because if he hadn't been so terrified as a child of revealing his sexuality to the people around him, he would've had a support system and an outlet for his feelings. Maybe he still would've loved Sousuke for his entire life. But it's also possible that he would've followed the path of most first loves...experience its intensity, get your heart broken, cry it out with friends, heal, and move on. Instead, because he never got to progress past the first stage of just being terribly, desperately in love, with no one to talk to about it, he never made any progress on the next steps.
I like that his one-sided love for Sousuke turns into something positive throughout the volumes, largely just because he finally does have that support system - Yuriko, of course, and eventually Gil and Momo and possibly even Sousuke down the line. Being able to talk about his feelings sifts away the painful parts and reminds him of the parts that bring him joy.
After all, he's been in love with Sousuke for this many years because being around him makes him truly, incredibly happy. And Gaku, to Sousuke, is also a huge source of comfort and stability. (The final chapter, with Gaku worrying a little that he will lose his connection to Sousuke alongside his family home, made me sad, but I appreciated that it was acknowledged, because I was thinking about it, too. And I don't think Sousuke would let that happen. He values their friendship as much as Gaku does.)
Another big topic in this volume is the idea of parenthood. This is where my nerves kicked in, because while I appreciated the conversations that happened with Gaku's grandmother and Yuriko's parents, I still sort of felt like their story would swing back into building that type of traditional family structure.
They were very clear with both sides of the family that Yuriko had no intention of bearing children. While they couldn't say why - a gay man and an aroace woman are simply not going to have the physical contact required to produce a child - they both stuck firmly to their convictions and told their families that there would not be a future generation.
The resulting conversations were honestly kind of awful. The guilt that parents throw over their children's shoulders is just...awful and so realistic. For Gaku's grandmother, it's "how dare you not give an old woman her final moments of happiness before she dies," like it's their responsibility to have a baby so she can have a grandchild. And then Yuriko's parents have the gall to call her selfish???
This one struck hard, because I have actually had this conversation. I remember it distinctly. I remember the restaurant I was in, the table we were sitting at, the meal I was eating, and being told - not cruelly, just matter-of-factly - that becoming a parent is a selfless experience.
For whom?
I think it is deeply selfish to bring children into the world if you do not truly want them, if you are not able to financially or emotionally provide for them, or if you haven't fully thought through the fact that you are creating a life that will have to be responsible for itself without you at some point in the future. People who want kids should have them. And not everyone does!! Not everyone should.
I liked that this was a part of Gaku and Yuriko's narrative, but then Yuriko ran into a gay couple and their children at a new year's shrine, and I thought...oh no. This is sweet! I love seeing that family, and I love that it's making Yuriko think of other possibilities beyond man-woman-baby. She and Gaku could adopt, for example, and that would be great for that child, etc.
But I just. I want stories where people don't want or need children to be fulfilled. And...to my relief, we did not head in that direction. Gaku and Yuriko stay childless and happy, but Momo and Gil do move to England to get married and happily adopt a child. Because that is the point of this series: everyone should be free to choose for themselves.
That doesn't mean everyone should be choosing the same thing! If you want to get married, you should be able to. If you want to have children, there should be a path for that. And if you don't, that should also be an option.
Society really, really needs to build out systems that provide support for all types of people and all kinds of dynamics. You shouldn't have to get married and have kids just out of a fear of being alone. Unfortunately, I don't think those kinds of changes will happen in my lifetime. But maybe in the future, as more people talk about it and society shifts, as it gradually does over time.
In the meantime, there are authors like this who see and talk about the possibilities. And that does bring me hope.
It's possible that ended up being true for other readers. The thing about LGBTQA+ books...any books, really...is that nothing can ever be truly universal, and attempts to Convey Everyone's Experiences Equally tend to come across as stereotype-riddled, insincere messes. I have some specific (and even wildly famous) authors in mind, but. There's a reason I don't read their works anymore.
So this series isn't necessarily something that would appeal to or resonate with every single person who picks it up. There are parts of it that still, honestly, made me feel really sad, and still a bit isolated. But Shirono did an exceptional job of spinning out a story that felt genuine, heartfelt, and deeply caring of as many points of view as possible, without pulling too far away from the integrity of the central characters and their experiences.
The main message of this series isn't: do exactly what these two characters did. It's: you are in charge of your own life, your choices are your own, and happiness can be found wherever you choose to seek it.
It's incredibly empowering, and I hope more people are able to follow this advice and really, truly, seek out the futures that are the best for them.
I also really appreciate that we have several examples of people from different backgrounds, life experiences, family dynamics, and even cultures (Gil) all discovering that they don't fit into the typical idea of "normal." There's a tendency to blame certain types of upbringings for making people stray from that traditional path that everyone is supposed to "naturally" want to follow. After all, if you don't settle down in a monogamous heterosexual marriage, buy a house, have kids, and carry those traditions on to the next generation, it's probably because there's something wrong with you.
For example, being from a broken home, like Sousuke, who to my delight got a lot of his own backstory and page time in this volume. His story still doesn't have quite as much depth as Gaku or Yuriko, although I think that may be a little bit intentional, so the final pages can be sort of open-ended. Is it possible that, years down the line, Sousuke and Gaku actually find happiness together? Or would they possibly settle into a sort of queerplatonic relationship? Maybe. But I'm actually okay with not knowing. Because that's kind of the point...there doesn't have to be A Love Story for things to wrap up nicely, or for a genuinely happy life to carry on.
It's hard to know exactly what Sousuke will do, but I do find it very interesting that he's not as "normal" as Gaku, despite knowing him for basically his entire life, has always thought. Like Gaku and Yuriko, he's spent years watching the people around him settle down and have kids and, thread by thread, snap the connections and social life he's always valued. Because he's different. He doesn't fit in.
He's straight, at least as far as anyone is aware, but I get the distinct impression that he may be aromantic. Not wholly the same as Yuriko, who's fully aroace, since he has enjoyed dating and doesn't seem to entirely want to give up on it, but it is interesting that his older sister encourages him to. She doesn't see a future where he gets married and has kids like all his friends are doing, and she doesn't mean that in a cruel way. It's just...not his path.
And really, the main reason Sousuke has even gone down this path for so many years, dating so many women he wasn't ever genuinely in love with, despite trying his hardest, was because he so desperately didn't want to be alone, or abnormal. He grew up in a family that made him really happy and where he felt loved, but everyone around him looked down on or scorned or pitied him, because he was the illegitimate child of a single mother, and was largely raised by his grandparents, since she spent a lot of her time at work to make sure she could care for them.
But the key point here is that he felt loved. He felt valued. He liked his life. But it hurt him, all through his childhood and into adulthood, that other people never thought he could be happy in a family like that. That warped his perception of what "happiness" had to be, so he spent decades trying to chase it through romantic relationships, while never feeling as fulfilled as he'd been at home, with his mom and older half-sister, or as a kid playing at Gaku's house.
One of the devastating things about this volume in particular is how much loss people experience throughout their lives when they're crammed into traditional boxes where they know they don't fit, but try so desperately to make work...for the sake of people around them, for filial respect, or because they're afraid of being ostracized by society.
Gaku talks about this with Yuriko, because if he hadn't been so terrified as a child of revealing his sexuality to the people around him, he would've had a support system and an outlet for his feelings. Maybe he still would've loved Sousuke for his entire life. But it's also possible that he would've followed the path of most first loves...experience its intensity, get your heart broken, cry it out with friends, heal, and move on. Instead, because he never got to progress past the first stage of just being terribly, desperately in love, with no one to talk to about it, he never made any progress on the next steps.
I like that his one-sided love for Sousuke turns into something positive throughout the volumes, largely just because he finally does have that support system - Yuriko, of course, and eventually Gil and Momo and possibly even Sousuke down the line. Being able to talk about his feelings sifts away the painful parts and reminds him of the parts that bring him joy.
After all, he's been in love with Sousuke for this many years because being around him makes him truly, incredibly happy. And Gaku, to Sousuke, is also a huge source of comfort and stability. (The final chapter, with Gaku worrying a little that he will lose his connection to Sousuke alongside his family home, made me sad, but I appreciated that it was acknowledged, because I was thinking about it, too. And I don't think Sousuke would let that happen. He values their friendship as much as Gaku does.)
Another big topic in this volume is the idea of parenthood. This is where my nerves kicked in, because while I appreciated the conversations that happened with Gaku's grandmother and Yuriko's parents, I still sort of felt like their story would swing back into building that type of traditional family structure.
They were very clear with both sides of the family that Yuriko had no intention of bearing children. While they couldn't say why - a gay man and an aroace woman are simply not going to have the physical contact required to produce a child - they both stuck firmly to their convictions and told their families that there would not be a future generation.
The resulting conversations were honestly kind of awful. The guilt that parents throw over their children's shoulders is just...awful and so realistic. For Gaku's grandmother, it's "how dare you not give an old woman her final moments of happiness before she dies," like it's their responsibility to have a baby so she can have a grandchild. And then Yuriko's parents have the gall to call her selfish???
This one struck hard, because I have actually had this conversation. I remember it distinctly. I remember the restaurant I was in, the table we were sitting at, the meal I was eating, and being told - not cruelly, just matter-of-factly - that becoming a parent is a selfless experience.
For whom?
I think it is deeply selfish to bring children into the world if you do not truly want them, if you are not able to financially or emotionally provide for them, or if you haven't fully thought through the fact that you are creating a life that will have to be responsible for itself without you at some point in the future. People who want kids should have them. And not everyone does!! Not everyone should.
I liked that this was a part of Gaku and Yuriko's narrative, but then Yuriko ran into a gay couple and their children at a new year's shrine, and I thought...oh no. This is sweet! I love seeing that family, and I love that it's making Yuriko think of other possibilities beyond man-woman-baby. She and Gaku could adopt, for example, and that would be great for that child, etc.
But I just. I want stories where people don't want or need children to be fulfilled. And...to my relief, we did not head in that direction. Gaku and Yuriko stay childless and happy, but Momo and Gil do move to England to get married and happily adopt a child. Because that is the point of this series: everyone should be free to choose for themselves.
That doesn't mean everyone should be choosing the same thing! If you want to get married, you should be able to. If you want to have children, there should be a path for that. And if you don't, that should also be an option.
Society really, really needs to build out systems that provide support for all types of people and all kinds of dynamics. You shouldn't have to get married and have kids just out of a fear of being alone. Unfortunately, I don't think those kinds of changes will happen in my lifetime. But maybe in the future, as more people talk about it and society shifts, as it gradually does over time.
In the meantime, there are authors like this who see and talk about the possibilities. And that does bring me hope.
March 23, 2025
Surprised by how this played out. Not sure what to make of the ways it shows restraint or its brief, hard-swing into melodrama.
Overall, I really enjoyed this three-volume story. I'm unsure why the extra scenes we get throughout are about two side characters we barely know (unless they are cameos from another series?).
I also can't decide if what's left open-ended is a mark of the story's strength or something else.
Regardless of my ambiguous feelings about the final volume, I highly recommend the whole thing.
Overall, I really enjoyed this three-volume story. I'm unsure why the extra scenes we get throughout are about two side characters we barely know (unless they are cameos from another series?).
I also can't decide if what's left open-ended is a mark of the story's strength or something else.
Regardless of my ambiguous feelings about the final volume, I highly recommend the whole thing.
April 22, 2025
Vol. 1 ★★★☆☆
Vol. 2 ★★★★☆
Too much of an open ending for my liking. I wish the mangaka took the extra set after the timeskip and expanded it into a full chapter instead. That said, I do enjoy the parallels drawn between Gaku's arrangment with Yuriko and Sousuke's own unconventional upbringing in this volume.
Vol. 2 ★★★★☆
Too much of an open ending for my liking. I wish the mangaka took the extra set after the timeskip and expanded it into a full chapter instead. That said, I do enjoy the parallels drawn between Gaku's arrangment with Yuriko and Sousuke's own unconventional upbringing in this volume.
April 25, 2025
I don’t usually take the time to write full reviews for manga, especially since I fly through them pretty quickly, but I Want to Be a Wall deserves the attention. I’m posting this under Volume 3, but consider it a review of the entire series, because wow...this story truly hit me in a way I didn’t expect.
This series follows Yuri, an asexual woman, and Gaku, a gay man, who marry each other. Not out of love, but to meet the expectations placed on them by society and their families. What starts as a marriage of convenience slowly evolves into a deep, emotional friendship built on mutual understanding and care. Each of them carries emotional baggage and hidden truths, and the series handles their stories with so much grace and tenderness.
One of the moments that really stuck with me happened in Volume 2, where Gaku is talking to one of Yuri’s college friends about her love of BL manga. He wonders aloud, “From whose perspective is she enjoying these stories?” It’s such a simple question, especially coming from her closeted gay husband to her openly gay college friend when they're having lunch together. But the response from her college friend is incredibly thoughtful and nuanced. Her friend compares it to someone who can’t taste sweetness but still orders dessert. They don't order it because they enjoy sugar, but because there are so many other elements to love: the texture, the aroma, the presentation, the way it makes others around them smile. That entire metaphor becomes this beautiful explanation of how Yuri engages with love...not through wanting it for herself, but through admiring it in others. She feels a strong yearning, not to experience romance or sex, but to witness it. That passage captured so much of what makes Yuri special. It’s not that she’s missing anything, or broken.... it’s that her lens on the world is simply different, and still valid and beautiful.
Then, in Volume 3, there’s another moment that completely wrecked me. Yuri and Gaku talk about what marriage actually means and who it’s truly for. Yuri says something along the lines of, “We used marriage as a temporary solution, a way to shelter ourselves from the world… but what’s the point of having a system that excludes the people who need it most?” And Gaku, who has loved his childhood best friend in silence for years, finally reflects on what could’ve been if society had just accepted people like him. He imagines a world where he could’ve asked Sousuke out, gotten rejected, cried about it, grown up, and maybe found love with someone else. But instead, he lived his life in fear—fear of being seen, of being rejected not just personally, but by everyone. He says, “The person I loved was the same sex. And that’s all it takes… to alter what one has to face in society and the legal system.” That entire monologue tore me apart. Like full ass tears falling down my face.
The relationship between Yuri and Gaku is so powerful because it’s not built on romance or sex, but on companionship, honesty, and a shared sense of otherness. And while Gaku’s best friend may not have understood his feelings growing up, there’s a quiet moment at the end where Gaku essentially admits to having loved someone his whole life. He never directly names Sousuke, but it’s obvious. Paired with the fact that Sousuke responds by gently asking, “Can I come over tomorrow?” speaks volumes. It’s not a dramatic declaration of love, but it’s understanding. It’s someone saying, “I hear you. I still want to be in your life.”
This manga isn’t flashy. There are no big action scenes, no fantasy elements, and no overtly stereotypical manga tropes. It’s a quiet, emotional story about two people who don’t want to be alone and decide to face the world together on their own terms. If you think manga is just high school drama and over-the-top antics, I Want to Be a Wall will prove otherwise. It’s heartfelt, deeply human, and something I know I’ll be thinking about for a long time.
Five stars, hands down.
This series follows Yuri, an asexual woman, and Gaku, a gay man, who marry each other. Not out of love, but to meet the expectations placed on them by society and their families. What starts as a marriage of convenience slowly evolves into a deep, emotional friendship built on mutual understanding and care. Each of them carries emotional baggage and hidden truths, and the series handles their stories with so much grace and tenderness.
One of the moments that really stuck with me happened in Volume 2, where Gaku is talking to one of Yuri’s college friends about her love of BL manga. He wonders aloud, “From whose perspective is she enjoying these stories?” It’s such a simple question, especially coming from her closeted gay husband to her openly gay college friend when they're having lunch together. But the response from her college friend is incredibly thoughtful and nuanced. Her friend compares it to someone who can’t taste sweetness but still orders dessert. They don't order it because they enjoy sugar, but because there are so many other elements to love: the texture, the aroma, the presentation, the way it makes others around them smile. That entire metaphor becomes this beautiful explanation of how Yuri engages with love...not through wanting it for herself, but through admiring it in others. She feels a strong yearning, not to experience romance or sex, but to witness it. That passage captured so much of what makes Yuri special. It’s not that she’s missing anything, or broken.... it’s that her lens on the world is simply different, and still valid and beautiful.
Then, in Volume 3, there’s another moment that completely wrecked me. Yuri and Gaku talk about what marriage actually means and who it’s truly for. Yuri says something along the lines of, “We used marriage as a temporary solution, a way to shelter ourselves from the world… but what’s the point of having a system that excludes the people who need it most?” And Gaku, who has loved his childhood best friend in silence for years, finally reflects on what could’ve been if society had just accepted people like him. He imagines a world where he could’ve asked Sousuke out, gotten rejected, cried about it, grown up, and maybe found love with someone else. But instead, he lived his life in fear—fear of being seen, of being rejected not just personally, but by everyone. He says, “The person I loved was the same sex. And that’s all it takes… to alter what one has to face in society and the legal system.” That entire monologue tore me apart. Like full ass tears falling down my face.
The relationship between Yuri and Gaku is so powerful because it’s not built on romance or sex, but on companionship, honesty, and a shared sense of otherness. And while Gaku’s best friend may not have understood his feelings growing up, there’s a quiet moment at the end where Gaku essentially admits to having loved someone his whole life. He never directly names Sousuke, but it’s obvious. Paired with the fact that Sousuke responds by gently asking, “Can I come over tomorrow?” speaks volumes. It’s not a dramatic declaration of love, but it’s understanding. It’s someone saying, “I hear you. I still want to be in your life.”
This manga isn’t flashy. There are no big action scenes, no fantasy elements, and no overtly stereotypical manga tropes. It’s a quiet, emotional story about two people who don’t want to be alone and decide to face the world together on their own terms. If you think manga is just high school drama and over-the-top antics, I Want to Be a Wall will prove otherwise. It’s heartfelt, deeply human, and something I know I’ll be thinking about for a long time.
Five stars, hands down.
July 2, 2024
(3.5)
September 12, 2024
4.25 / 5: There was never a day that I didn’t dread rejection from society and the people in my life. I was always haunted by the fear that the ground would give out beneath me…That was my life.
The person I fell for…the person I loved…was the same sex. That’s all it takes to alter what one has to face in society and the legal system.
Just how many people have had their innocent feelings, their freedom to choose, their ways of living, their stories, their very lives…stolen and trampled on?
How long will this go on?
there’s something so gratifying about seeing two characters enter a marriage that’s solely perceived as choosing the expected path, but really it opened up so much more—an aroace woman and gay man finding connection in each other for straying outside the lines, and growing to feel more bonded with each other as the story goes on. it was all so sweet.
i loved the way the author developed their relationship in a way that completely dismantled the idea that romance is something that’ll come for two people sooner or later. i also loved how much this entire volume just went all out in depicting all the different ways people are affected not only by heteronormative norms, but also allonormative!! it was all so cathartic, and felt really bittersweet.
it’s not often i read stories like this because it’s just so easy to distract myself with the fictional romance i do fall in love with. there’ll always be a lonely feeling lingering in the back of my head, knowing i don’t feel those same feelings as others clearly do, but you get so used to ignoring it bc it doesn’t seem like there’s really much of anyone to talk to about it. being confronted with the ideals that society has for me, and the critiques that are at hand with my “short-term” perspective as an aro person….it all got to me. but it was written very well.
i respect this series a lot for it. were there parts to it that boggled my mind in terms of drama? yes. very much so, yes. but did the overwhelmingly heartfelt scenes make up for it? also yes.
content warnings:
major: acephobia/arophobia
moderate: descriptions of blood/injury detail, and violence (!!!! hello????)
minor: homophobia
The person I fell for…the person I loved…was the same sex. That’s all it takes to alter what one has to face in society and the legal system.
Just how many people have had their innocent feelings, their freedom to choose, their ways of living, their stories, their very lives…stolen and trampled on?
How long will this go on?
there’s something so gratifying about seeing two characters enter a marriage that’s solely perceived as choosing the expected path, but really it opened up so much more—an aroace woman and gay man finding connection in each other for straying outside the lines, and growing to feel more bonded with each other as the story goes on. it was all so sweet.
i loved the way the author developed their relationship in a way that completely dismantled the idea that romance is something that’ll come for two people sooner or later. i also loved how much this entire volume just went all out in depicting all the different ways people are affected not only by heteronormative norms, but also allonormative!! it was all so cathartic, and felt really bittersweet.
it’s not often i read stories like this because it’s just so easy to distract myself with the fictional romance i do fall in love with. there’ll always be a lonely feeling lingering in the back of my head, knowing i don’t feel those same feelings as others clearly do, but you get so used to ignoring it bc it doesn’t seem like there’s really much of anyone to talk to about it. being confronted with the ideals that society has for me, and the critiques that are at hand with my “short-term” perspective as an aro person….it all got to me. but it was written very well.
i respect this series a lot for it. were there parts to it that boggled my mind in terms of drama? yes. very much so, yes. but did the overwhelmingly heartfelt scenes make up for it? also yes.
content warnings:
major: acephobia/arophobia
moderate: descriptions of blood/injury detail, and violence (!!!! hello????)
minor: homophobia
February 15, 2025
quando ho preso in mano il primo volume di questa serie, l'ho fatto senza troppe aspettative e credendo che più avanti sarebbe potuto sfociare nella banalità o in strade battute e ribattute. In particolare, temevo che l'amore di Gaku per Sosuke avrebbe comunque preso in qualche modo il sopravvento sulla trama.
Inutile dire che non solo non è successo, ma il modo in cui l'autrice ha trattato gli argomenti principali è stato così delicato e al tempo stesso profondo che mi sono ritrovata a commuovermi in vari punti della storia.
In generale, la reputo una lettura molto importante a livello personale e sicuramente un manga che vale la pena leggere per trovare un po' di serenità in un mondo che dà ancora troppa importanza alla famiglia e al concetto di amore e felicità in senso tradizionale.
10/10 come lettura per me, forse una delle migliori degli ultimi mesi.
Inutile dire che non solo non è successo, ma il modo in cui l'autrice ha trattato gli argomenti principali è stato così delicato e al tempo stesso profondo che mi sono ritrovata a commuovermi in vari punti della storia.
In generale, la reputo una lettura molto importante a livello personale e sicuramente un manga che vale la pena leggere per trovare un po' di serenità in un mondo che dà ancora troppa importanza alla famiglia e al concetto di amore e felicità in senso tradizionale.
10/10 come lettura per me, forse una delle migliori degli ultimi mesi.
September 29, 2024
What a beautiful finale to this series. Gakurouta and Yuriko’s discussion about marriage as an institution and how they fit into it was meaningful, and I so appreciate seeing this perspective written in a book. I love that through this series they grow to find comfort in each other and their living situation, even if it differs from what they may have planned when they were younger. I also applaud their standing by each other during the family visits—especially with the pressure from their family to have children. The way that Gaku and Yuriko support each other warms my heart. I am so happy to have this series!
December 20, 2024
That was cute. I think the secret formula for this series is that the premise is silly, but all the characters and situation are super grounded and filled with pathos.
Whether it's living a non-conformative lifestyle, not bending to social pressures, or being lgbtq+, this story does a great job at taking the non-standard marriage between a BL fan girl and a closeted gay man and never makes it a joke or sham. These two are happy and if it doesn't match what society says, that doesn't matter
I was hoping more from the Sousuke stuff but I guess that'll have to be left for the reader's imagination
Whether it's living a non-conformative lifestyle, not bending to social pressures, or being lgbtq+, this story does a great job at taking the non-standard marriage between a BL fan girl and a closeted gay man and never makes it a joke or sham. These two are happy and if it doesn't match what society says, that doesn't matter
I was hoping more from the Sousuke stuff but I guess that'll have to be left for the reader's imagination
August 22, 2024
Talk about a final volume that DELIVERED!!! I really like how this series wrapped up. I felt like I got everything that I needed from it, including a glimpse a few years in the future after some of the big things that happened in this volume. I really love the way this one panned out. Though I wish that everyone could have gotten their ideal ending, they all got happy ones, and that's better than I could have asked for.
June 23, 2024
Sneak attack! This was the final volume and it ended so well - the couple have to confront their family's expectations to have children and we get some closure regarding Gaku's love for Sousuke. Now I have to go cry for a bit.
January 20, 2024
One of the most beautiful series I ever read ! And it has the best LGBTQ+ representation I've ever seen in a manga. Please, go read this series. You won't regret it.
July 22, 2024
I really like this series. It really challenges what “normal” is or what it should be. Especially our view on relationships and way of life.
March 14, 2025
I really enjoyed this finale. It was sweet and thoughtful. I recommend the series for anyone looking for a short, quiet, slow, and sweet (and maybe a little bittersweet) series.
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