Mating with Mallows

by Nora Noodle

Cecilia Reynolds has hated sweets, ever since she was a child—particularly those of the pastel Easter candy variety. This earns her teasing from friends and colleagues due to the passionate nature of her vehemence. But can one chance encounter with sentient marshmallow rabbit hunks change her mind about this aversion forever?

Genres: Romance, Smut, Novella, Holiday, Erotica, Fantasy, Adult

32 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 13, 2024

Reviews

[Taylor]

God gave me eyes. And I abused them. Forgive me father.

[Kristina · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’m happy I didn’t like peeps in the first place, because there’s no way I could eat them after this.

27 pages of gross, sticky erotica with two giant humanoid bunny marshmallow men, you’d think this would be fun but sadly, it was not. The concept of this book is so silly and crazy but the execution totally missed the mark.
This starts with a woman with some trauma from peeps in her childhood but no details are given as to what kind. She decides to overcome this trauma by purchasing some bunny shaped peeps to eat. The peeps come to life and bang her, no details are given as to why or how they animate either, and they bang in a pretty boring spit roast scene. Some basic world building would have helped set the stage for this, make her trauma funny, make them work really hard to give her needed therapy, anything! Sadly, there was nothing really original or entertaining here.

Bonus star for using the word fluffernut in a sex scene. That was unexpected. The cover for this is boring too, it really needs to be more crazy or horrifying, I’ve seen so many really disturbing or wacky covers for these but this one doesn’t even look like erotica.
Anyhoo, I don’t know how to rate this. I wish it had leaned into the comedy and been 100x more creative. This author missed the memo on how to write these. The whimsy, the camp, the jokes, the satire? This had none of that. It was just regular MFM except the dudes were made of marshmallow 🤷🏼‍♀️.

The funniest part of this is the author’s note thanking her family for their support so she could follow her authorial dreams… I died laughing, but was I supposed to? Thanks mom.

[Fish]

I don’t know a single person who likes marshmallow enough for this

[Grapie Deltaco · Rating 1 out of 5]

Numerous points deducted for the criminal lack of world building and lore

I WANT ANSWERS 🗣️‼️

CW: explicit sexual content, references to parental abandonment

[Miranda]

To quote my husband, "So, instead of Netflix and chill, it was Mallow and Swallow?" 💀💀💀 I actually can't - reaction video will be posted tonight. I'm actually dead, lmao.

[Peter Topside · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars. This may be a new low for Peter Topside. Here I am, supposed to be working, and I'm reading a book about banging life-sized Peeps? Well, it looks like those chocolate covered eggs aren't the only thing filled with marshmallow this year. I always thought that Charleston Chews were the most sexual candy option. Or those naughty Sugar Daddies. Once I saw a girl put a lollipop in her butt and eat it. I dunno. It's all subjective. But I really find the most bizarre stuff on the internet. My brain is just destroyed nowadays with all of the filthy stuff I watch on a daily basis. Crazy thing is that I enjoyed the writing here and the premise had me laughing for days. But the sex was sooo short. It was good and all, but just extremely brief. Like this was 21 pages and should have been 15 pages of sex, 3 of lead up, and 1 page of self-reflection for our lead, Cece. Oh, and another page for some links to buy Peeps on Amazon in bulk. It just makes sense that way. Fun read, but needed less stuff and more fluff. Did that pun work?

[Stitching Ghost · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's exactly what it says it is and it was exactly as cringe yet fun and you would expect. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Mar · Rating 1 out of 5]

1.5/5

Don’t ask why I read this. I was waiting in a line that was taking ages and suddenly my brain said “Hey! Why don’t we read about bunny marshmallows having sex with a woman who’s scared of them while we wait?”

Yeah, no, I’m not usually into to erotic books and I thought I could give this a try since it wasn’t too serious. Yeah, bad choice. The sex is boring as hell. 😭

I feel sorry for myself. I apologize to all of you for having to witness me reading this.

[Rachael · Rating 3 out of 5]

…the mallows seemed to know exactly what to do, a choreographed Dance of the Sugar Plum Dicks.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[♡ Dakota ♡ (Sarcasm is my middle name) · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’ll never be able to eat a Peep again. One Star.

[Kaitlin · Rating 1 out of 5]

what in the yeast infection was this

[cey ♡ · Rating 1 out of 5]

sugary schlong. gelatinous tip 💀

[Becky (romantic_pursuing_feels) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Note: Some of my goodreads shelves can be spoilers

Overall: 4.5 rounded to ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ because WHY NOT???
Readability: 📖📖📖📖
Feels: 🦋🦋🦋
Emotional Depth: 💔💔
Sexual Tension: ⚡⚡⚡
Romance: 💞💞💞
Sensuality: 💋💋💋💋 (I am not ashamed that I liked it 🤣 )
Sex Scene Length: 🍑🍑🍑
Steam Scale (Number of Sex Scenes): 🔥 (the book is basically one scene)
Humor: Come on….it’s a peep fucking book
Perspective: First person from heroine
More character focused or plot focused? character/sex focused
How did the speed of the story feel? fast
When mains are first on page together: 28% when she buys the peeps, 38% when they become MORE
Cliffhanger: No...but it ends kind of unknown as to the future (happy for now assumed?)
Epilogue: No
Format: read e-book from kindle unlimited
(Descriptions found at end of my review)

Should I read in order?
This is a stand alone short story.

Basic plot:
Cece hasn’t had peeps since her bad experience at 6 years old. But one more taste can’t hurt...

Give this a try if you want:
- contemporary setting
- heroine works at a paper selling company
- M/F/M
- you have a disturbing craving for peeps/REALLY love marshmallow fluff
- 1 full steamy scene but it’s most of the book (and some praise kink)
- heroine overcomes her peep trauma

Ages:
- Not mentioned

First lines:
“Come on, Cece. Just try one,” Miranda pleaded from her seat five feet away from mine in our shared cubicle, a gliterring bonbon of a marshmallow held aloft for me.

My thoughts:
I saw it and I had to try it.

Absurd. Fun. Ridiculous. Delightful. Wrong. Titillating. Preposterous.

A threesome with some peeps. Why not? I deserve an Easter present too.

Cock/Hero Stats:

- They are huge 6 foot tall marshmallow bunny peeps with 8 pack abs.
- sugar coating that is sweet, taste like vanilla, but doesn’t melt (their fluffy goodness regenerating with each bit of deliciousness swallowed)
- huge cocks!
- semen is marshmallow fluff


Quotes/thoughts: (Any mistakes are my own)


"Ah, that's better," a deep, sensual voice crooned from my left, and my head whipped around.
There, in the middle of my kitchen, stood two hulking marshmallows. No - to call them marshmallows would be an understatement. These hunks were anything but mere mallows.
Standing at least six feet tall - not including the ears - dripping with muscles, coated in a fine dusting of neon sugar, were two incredibly sexy marshmallow bunny men.
---
I practically yelped as he came fully into view. Try though I might to keep my gaze firmly centered on his chest, it betrayed me, darting first to brilliantly corded thighs and up, up, up until it rested firmly on his giant cock.
Upon noticing my attentions, it rose to the same, and my insides ignited. Blue came to join, and the sight of their twin erections towering over me made my mouth into a desert ravine.
---
I had never been so full of marshmallow in my life, and something told me that this was just the beginning of this feeling.
---
"Careful, sweetheart," Blue growled from above me, one hand moving from my hair to help steady my arms, even as he rode me closer, the two cocks in either end of me pinning me in place like a rotisserie chicken.



Content warnings: (This should be taken as a minimum because I could have missed some!)

- heroine has a lot of trauma from her father abandoning the family
- heroine microwaves and fucks some peeps


Locations of kisses/intimate scenes:

Safe sex: No. Hopefully she has a stock up of antifungal medications
Hows the consent? It’s good
58% - kisses, heroine sucks pink peeps finger, heroine sucks blue’s cock and pink fucks her on the couch


Extra stuff like what my review breakdowns mean, where to find me, and book clubs


Full break down on what my ratings above mean here:
Overall: How I felt about it everything considered!
Readability: How ‘readable’ was the book? Did I fly through it? Did I have to tell myself to pick it back up repeatedly? Were any passages confusing? (I will probably score like (1) is literally unreadable due to formatting/typing errors, etc (2) There were lots of errors that made it difficult to read OR It was extremely confusing and I had to reread passages to make sense of it OR I disliked it so much I had to bribe myself to keep reading (3) I didn’t really want to keep reading and would have preferred to abandon the read and start something else OR some minor continuity issues/confusion (4) I liked it fine, maybe a minor error or 2. I was happy to pick it up when I had time. (5) I never wanted to put this down. I thought about it when I wasn’t reading it. I hid in the bathroom from my kids to read. I threw inappropriate food at my children for dinner so I could read instead.)
Feels: Totally subjective to each person but did the book give me any tingles? Any butterflies? Did it rip my heart out (in a good way?)
Emotional depth: How well do I feel I know the characters at the end? How much did I feel their emotions throughout the story?
Sexual tension: Again, subjective, but how strong was the wanting and longing to me between the characters? A book might have strong sexual tension without a single touch.
Romance: Was there romance? Did romantic things happen? This can be actions/words/thoughts of the characters and again is subjective.
Sensuality: This is how the intimate scenes are written. Kisses and sexual scenes – how sensual were they? Were they on the mechanical side? Was there emotional pull tied in? Were the details explicit or flowery? These are subjective but generally (1) too short to get a good judgement (2) not all what I'm looking for - very vague or flowery prose (3) either not explicit enough or not enough emotional pull (too mechanical/physically descriptive without the emotions) (4) what I love in a scene (5) absolute perfection - perfect balance of emotional longing and explicit descriptions
Sex Scene Length: How long the bedroom scenes are (generally (1) is 1-3 sentences (2) is a few paragraphs to a page-ish (3) is about average, a few pages (4) more well developed scenes, quite a few pages with descriptions (4) the majority of the book takes place in the bedroom. This is always hard to tell for me on audio!
Steam Scale: Generally, each flame is a scene. If scenes are super close together I sometimes combine them. If a scene is super short or so vague I don’t know what’s happening, I don’t count it. There’s some levels of grey but generally the number of flames is how many sex scenes there are (I max out at 5 so I’ll put a + after if there’s more than that)



Find me
Instagram || The Storygraph || Bookbub

Book Clubs
The Ton and the Tartans (Historical Romance)
Upturned Petticoats and Undone Cravats (Historical Romance with Steam Requirements)
A Love Less Ordinary (Science Fiction, Paranormal, Monster, Fantasy Romance)
Modern Manuscripts (Contemporary Romance)
Words for the Wicked (Contemporary Romance with Steam Requirements)
Vintage Romance (Old School Romance – published 2000 and prior)

[Rosie Rodriguez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do it for the laughs.
It’s cannot get over what I just read, but I was laughing and snorting so hard at the absurdity. I LOVED IT. 🤣😂 I needed this laugh.

[Ale the feral reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

If only these people on the beach knew that I was celebrating Easter by reading about a girl getting absolutely RAILED by marshmallow peeps men

[Steph's_Creepy _Reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

Can part 2 be called Revenge of the Smores??

[Biblio · Rating 5 out of 5]

I hecking LOVE peeps ok? So when I saw the preorder for this I was sold. I even saved it for peep season so I could eat those sugary little bunnies while savoring this read. It did not disappoint. Confectionary c*ck, marshmallow fluff spunk. Yes please. Gimme gimme. Fun short hot holiday read.

If you don't like peeps, you'll love them when you read this.

[XelSo · Rating 1 out of 5]

If I hate having my hands all sticky when I eat some candy, I can’t even explain the discomfort I’d feel to touch a marshmallow that turned into a man and wants to put his anatomy all over my shit, NO. 🥴

[Kimbot the Destroyer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a lot of humor in the actual story, but the premise is hilarious and also gives me the willies. Peeps textured penis. Do not want.

[Michelle · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wanted to see what the hype was about and I only have myself to blame.

[Brittany Barabas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Girly pop had a one sided rivalry towards peeps. Can you blame her though?.. Despite all odds, she persevered and faced her fear. This story goes to show, you face your fears and you might just find the one thing you’re missing in life. 6 feet tall marshmallow men, with rock hard abs and a choreographed dance of .. well you can find that out all on your own. Careful though, you might find yourself feeling like a rotisserie chicken.
- and this was exactly what you’d expect to read 😂

[Elizabeth · Rating 2 out of 5]

Never doubt my commitment to my bookclub 🫡

[Sarah S · Rating 2 out of 5]

Never thought I’d read the term ‘confectionary c*ck’, but here we are. Blaming book club for this one 😂

[Rose · Rating 1 out of 5]

She is going to have the biggest yeast infection after that. Jesus came back from the dead so we could all read stories like this, I’m sure

[Sherry Moyer · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have a real concern about yeast infections.

[Cecelia🐈‍⬛ · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have never not wanted my name used more. I also have so many unanswered questions.

[Larareads · Rating 1 out of 5]

Actual rating 0.25⭐️

I would need at least a bottle of wine to talk about this book, if I can even call it that. 27 pages and I feel like I need to bleach my eyes...
Can't believe I actually read this.

Please, if you want to not abuse your eyes, stay away from this!!!

[Monica Shaw · Rating 2 out of 5]

Drink every time a mans genitalia is referred to as a different type of dessert… why did I read this Whitney??

[Jess]

This was so stupid. I loved it, Hahahah!!

[Krina Van den Bossche · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was definitly worse. I would like to remove my eyes.
Forgive me father for I have sinned in the name of science