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Machine Elves: Memoir of an anxious girl
Crippling anxiety, endless shame, and stares. Suffering from a sensitivity to sounds, Bea knows it all. Unable to take part in the social life as others can her only friend is Alec, a loner and weed addict. Alec nearly goes on a rampage in school and is sent to a psychiatric hospital, but he continues to haunt her mind.
As Bea grows up, she finds new friends in Rob and Azul who introduce her to the world of art, techno and psychedelic drugs. Step by step, she tries to cure her mind and find her place in this world. Then, reality comes crashing back in as she hears of Alec's death and her new friends begin to show their true colors.
Can she free herself of these dangerous relationships and finally learn to live without the captious drugs that are male attention and psychedelics? What is there to hold on to if your own mind and body seem to constantly betray you? Did something happen in her youth that Bea is hiding from herself?
As Bea grows up, she finds new friends in Rob and Azul who introduce her to the world of art, techno and psychedelic drugs. Step by step, she tries to cure her mind and find her place in this world. Then, reality comes crashing back in as she hears of Alec's death and her new friends begin to show their true colors.
Can she free herself of these dangerous relationships and finally learn to live without the captious drugs that are male attention and psychedelics? What is there to hold on to if your own mind and body seem to constantly betray you? Did something happen in her youth that Bea is hiding from herself?
169 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 26, 2024
3 people are currently reading
15 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
November 20, 2023
I was given the opportunity by Sally Feng to do an ARC read and review.
Machine Elves: Memoir Of An Anxious Girl, was a good book, its not in my usual genre that I like to read, as I'm more into fantasy / historical etc but I thought I would give it a read and try to give an honest review.
It's interesting how Bea, our leading lady, developed various coping methods in order to quieten down her anxiety and also help her cope better with the sensitivity to loud noises / sudden noises that would put her on edge and make her jump.
She went from trying to plug her ears to muffle the noises to eventually experimenting with various drugs. The detailed description of each of the different psychadelic drugs she used was really good. It almost made you feel like you were there experiencing it yourself. Very well written.
The various mental health issues and mental health crisis events that were brought up with Alec, Azul, and Jamie were a little hard to read with how unwell they got.
You really felt Bea and Robs anxiety and fears strongly. This was really well done, and you felt part of the novel.
The different topics broached were a little heavy at times, feeling different and isolated from a young age, difficulty making friends, hearing news about the death of a friend, trauma experienced, both emotional and physical, sexual assault, rape, betrayal, isolation, and all the drugs! (Lol, there were a lot of drugs. )
Also, you experience bea fighting to get a diagnosis. Anyone with a chronic illness will know the struggle you face trying to find out what is going on and what's causing the problems. The number of times you get told results were normal, or you are just getting medical gaslighting thrown at you, and the frustration is so real. It's purely frustrating of not knowing what's causing the symptoms so that you can try to then work on solving / reducing the symptoms and get a better quality of life.
I liked how Bea got into her synth music, and I feel that pursuing music would suit her a bit better than her psychology course. Music brought her a lot of happiness and opened up her creativity.
Potentially left open for sequel? Like what happens next ? Do we find out why Azul is sending the cards in the post? Do we find out if he's better or still talking with the angels? Is he watching them? How does he know what's happening? Is Jamie held accountable for what he did ?
Lol 😆 it was a good read it made you think, and left me with a few questions at the end of the book.
Does Bea recover from everything that happened I did get left with the curious thought as to if Bea ever finished her uni course in the end, but I'm guessing it probably went on hold indefinitely after the final few chapters! Or did she pursue music instead?
I want to thank sally for giving me the ARC to read and review.
Machine Elves: Memoir Of An Anxious Girl, was a good book, its not in my usual genre that I like to read, as I'm more into fantasy / historical etc but I thought I would give it a read and try to give an honest review.
It's interesting how Bea, our leading lady, developed various coping methods in order to quieten down her anxiety and also help her cope better with the sensitivity to loud noises / sudden noises that would put her on edge and make her jump.
She went from trying to plug her ears to muffle the noises to eventually experimenting with various drugs. The detailed description of each of the different psychadelic drugs she used was really good. It almost made you feel like you were there experiencing it yourself. Very well written.
The various mental health issues and mental health crisis events that were brought up with Alec, Azul, and Jamie were a little hard to read with how unwell they got.
You really felt Bea and Robs anxiety and fears strongly. This was really well done, and you felt part of the novel.
The different topics broached were a little heavy at times, feeling different and isolated from a young age, difficulty making friends, hearing news about the death of a friend, trauma experienced, both emotional and physical, sexual assault, rape, betrayal, isolation, and all the drugs! (Lol, there were a lot of drugs. )
Also, you experience bea fighting to get a diagnosis. Anyone with a chronic illness will know the struggle you face trying to find out what is going on and what's causing the problems. The number of times you get told results were normal, or you are just getting medical gaslighting thrown at you, and the frustration is so real. It's purely frustrating of not knowing what's causing the symptoms so that you can try to then work on solving / reducing the symptoms and get a better quality of life.
I liked how Bea got into her synth music, and I feel that pursuing music would suit her a bit better than her psychology course. Music brought her a lot of happiness and opened up her creativity.
Potentially left open for sequel? Like what happens next ? Do we find out why Azul is sending the cards in the post? Do we find out if he's better or still talking with the angels? Is he watching them? How does he know what's happening? Is Jamie held accountable for what he did ?
Lol 😆 it was a good read it made you think, and left me with a few questions at the end of the book.
Does Bea recover from everything that happened I did get left with the curious thought as to if Bea ever finished her uni course in the end, but I'm guessing it probably went on hold indefinitely after the final few chapters! Or did she pursue music instead?
I want to thank sally for giving me the ARC to read and review.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 14, 2023
This story is about a girl who is especially sensitive to sound and her journey to discover how to fix or heal herself, and the many methods she tries to cure her sensitive hearing as well as diagnose herself.
This was a book I normally would not read, I definitely stepped outside of my comfort zone with this one, however, I’ve read one of Sally’s other books and enjoyed it, and so wanted to check this one out!
This was a trippy ride! Bea tries all sorts, and I mean ALL SORTS, of ways to diagnose herself and also try to help herself. We basically experience her entire life starting with her childhood thinking something is wrong with her, and parents that don’t really do anything to help, through her college years and experiencing relationships with multiple people and experiencing drugs that seem to help, and I mean she tries many kinds 😅 and then the end that I’m confused about what it meant, whether there’s more to the story or not?
Sally has a way with words that kept me wanting to know whether Bea will figure out her diagnosis or not, and made you want to keep reading.
It’s definitely an interesting and unique read! I received a free digital copy to read. All thoughts and op are my own.
This was a book I normally would not read, I definitely stepped outside of my comfort zone with this one, however, I’ve read one of Sally’s other books and enjoyed it, and so wanted to check this one out!
This was a trippy ride! Bea tries all sorts, and I mean ALL SORTS, of ways to diagnose herself and also try to help herself. We basically experience her entire life starting with her childhood thinking something is wrong with her, and parents that don’t really do anything to help, through her college years and experiencing relationships with multiple people and experiencing drugs that seem to help, and I mean she tries many kinds 😅 and then the end that I’m confused about what it meant, whether there’s more to the story or not?
Sally has a way with words that kept me wanting to know whether Bea will figure out her diagnosis or not, and made you want to keep reading.
It’s definitely an interesting and unique read! I received a free digital copy to read. All thoughts and op are my own.
January 23, 2024
This may be short but I found it to be a really powerful read.
Driven made by her own mind. Loud noises, especially people coughing, provoke extreme psychological responses and so Bea finds her world becoming smaller and smaller. Desperate to find out what is wrong with herself, she decides to study psychology at uni. Battling with herself she goes to extreme methods to make friends, but sadly, the friends she makes are not what she needs in her life. "Best friends" who are utterly blind to the torment she goes through, her life takes on a very sad decline.
Very striking imagery. A very moving story and a really significant message, about recognising the impact of destructive personalities and the damage you can do to yourself by not removing them from your life. More significantly, there is always the possibility for a change for the better.
Driven made by her own mind. Loud noises, especially people coughing, provoke extreme psychological responses and so Bea finds her world becoming smaller and smaller. Desperate to find out what is wrong with herself, she decides to study psychology at uni. Battling with herself she goes to extreme methods to make friends, but sadly, the friends she makes are not what she needs in her life. "Best friends" who are utterly blind to the torment she goes through, her life takes on a very sad decline.
Very striking imagery. A very moving story and a really significant message, about recognising the impact of destructive personalities and the damage you can do to yourself by not removing them from your life. More significantly, there is always the possibility for a change for the better.
March 20, 2024
This was a very interesting story about a girl trying to find herself and shake off the troubles of mental health. Bea had few friends and all were male, which I found quite unusual. She formed awkward relationships that ultimately contributed to the negative experiences that she had. During her searching she began to blame herself for sotheof thr negative experiences that her group had. Ultimately, we learned that some from this small body of friends had been contributors to the bad that she endured.
This story should be read by teens who should quietly reflect on what they find.
This story should be read by teens who should quietly reflect on what they find.
February 5, 2024
Intriguing
Bea’s debilitating reaction to coughing, dog barking, and other sounds intrigued me from the get-go. She proactively seeks help for this condition, including using “noisers” that produce white noise in her ears. In her journey, she encounters male friends, two of whom betray her.
The main character, Bea is empathetic; and the author writes with visual description that places the reader in the moment. I enjoyed the read.
Bea’s debilitating reaction to coughing, dog barking, and other sounds intrigued me from the get-go. She proactively seeks help for this condition, including using “noisers” that produce white noise in her ears. In her journey, she encounters male friends, two of whom betray her.
The main character, Bea is empathetic; and the author writes with visual description that places the reader in the moment. I enjoyed the read.
February 19, 2024
This was such a thought provoking and emotive read, filled with vivid writing that was a unique experience to read at times. This is a short but hard hitting book that follows Bae as she comes of age and is experiencing different forms of anxiety that impact her life in a debilitating way, most notably her noise sensitivity. Bae is drawn into the world of drugs and has complex relationships with the people she befriends. On her journey of self-discovery she enrolls in psychology to try to find a diagnosis for herself but also finds the world of creating synth music which she pours her creativity and emotions into. This book is challenging to read at times as Bae's life is far from pretty, her friends are toxic and she experiences trauma's and betrayals but it is such an interesting and in depth character study of someone who just wants answers and who is struggling to maintain control of her life due to anxiety. The descriptions of the drug use were quite trippy, it was excellently done as it really draws the reader into the story. This also has an open ending, which is fitting as Bae is still a young woman and has so much life left to experience.
I was sent the book by the author for an honest review.
I was sent the book by the author for an honest review.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 13, 2024
A journey through Anxiety
“Machine Elves” is a tale that delves into the life of Memiro, a girl facing her struggle with anxiety. This story takes you on a journey filled with struggles and resilience. A journey both relatable and inspiring which offer solace and insight to those facing similar challenges.
“Machine Elves” is a tale that delves into the life of Memiro, a girl facing her struggle with anxiety. This story takes you on a journey filled with struggles and resilience. A journey both relatable and inspiring which offer solace and insight to those facing similar challenges.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews