When the Naughty Step Makes Things Worse: Parenting for Children (and Adults) Who Need Something Different

by Eliza Fricker, Eliza Fricker

Some children just haven't read the parenting books. The harder you try, the worse it gets.

There's a hidden contract at the heart of parenting. It's the idea that if parents just get it right, their children can be made to do what they want. Manuals explain how to make it very clear to your children what you want them to do − and how to respond when they don't cooperate.

With the right rewards and consequences in place, parents are meant to ensure that their children stay under control. That's Time Out and the Naughty Step (for the little ones) or grounding and withdrawing screen privileges (for the older ones). If that doesn't work, parents are told to be more consistent. But what happens if your child is even more consistent than you?

For every so often, along comes a child who hasn't signed the contract. They don't buy in. When they are put on the Naughty Step, they refuse point blank to stay there. Promises of stickers and rewards get you nowhere at all. Take their iPad away and they say, 'Fine, but I'm still not doing that'.

These are the children who rip up the rule book. Their parents are left floundering. The more they try to bring their children under control, the clearer it is that they aren't haven't any of it. The firmer the boundaries, the worse their behaviour becomes. Things can go downhill fast.

This down-to-earth, illustrated guide is for parents who need something different. It's for those who are fighting battles where they didn't know battles could be fought. It's for those who suspect that what they are doing isn't helping - but they don't know what else to do. It's for families who need a better way to live and who want their children (and themselves) to thrive.

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting

599 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 3, 2024

Reviews

[Sam Grace · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book has been like a light bulb moment for me. I could’ve cried listening to other parents talk about their pressure sensitive children, knowing I’m not alone in feeling that parenting was nothing like I imagined it was going to be. Much of my parenting journey has left me questioning if I’m an awful mother because my child doesn’t “play by the rules”. Not only has it changed my approach to parenting, but it has also helped me to start building the confidence to do it without worrying what others think. I am already seeing positive changes in my child, and I can honestly say that this book has improved my mental health.

[Charlotte McNicholas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Relatable, helpful, easy to read.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super useful alternatives to traditional parenting methods

[Gemma Black · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is great. It turns out that I was already doing low demand parenting, but it was a reassuring read with some new tips, and I feel better equipped to explain it all to others. XXxxx

[Mika · Rating 5 out of 5]

an excellent book writen by a credible clinical psychologist understanding yourself in relation to your child helping you to change many things u believed about parenting.

[Briar Standing · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is validating and presents a logical and informed perspective. Highly recommend for anyone with pressure sensitive kids.

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

excellent resource with practical tips

[Fi · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent book for parents of pressure-sensitive children. I love the illustrations too.

[Emily Weber · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book basically recommends tracking behaviors with the ABC model but rebranded it to a different acronym. I generally like this author’s perspective