Of My Own Making: A Memoir

by Daria Burke

We are not defined by our origin stories. We choose who we become.

Daria Burke’s childhood growing up under the shadow of an absent father and a mother debilitated by drug addiction was marked by neglect and poverty. Despite these fractured beginnings, she forges a triumphant path out of Detroit and into fashion’s C-Suite. After ten years of therapy, she believes her healing journey is complete.

When she discovers a photograph of the car accident that she believes altered the course of her early life, Burke is forced to confront the parts of her childhood she had avoided. This discovery sparks a four-year immersion into neuroplasticity, epigenetics, the impact of adverse childhood experiences on early brain development and ultimately, why some of us remain stuck in past trauma while others experience Post Traumatic Growth. She dives headfirst into an exploration of her trauma, grappling with the enduring grip of the past on the present and the mind’s influence over the body.

More than a story of personal triumph, Of My Own Making is a soulful and scientific exploration of the power to shape one’s destiny. In facing the stark reality of her past, Burke reminds us that every moment demands a choice, and that we owe it to ourselves to reparent our inner child and reclaim the lives we deserve.

Burke’s lyrical account of a life lived with courage and intention offers an empathetic and hard-won perspective on the nature versus nurture debate and the power of acceptance. Part memoir, part methodology, it is a fearless rallying cry inspiring us to excavate and examine the stories that define our lives. Ultimately, the narratives that we craft with our own hands are the only ones that matter.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Self Help, Audiobook

288 pages, Hardcover

First published April 22, 2025

Reviews

[Traci Thomas · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a nice memoir about rising from the challenges of addicted parents and an unstable childhood. Burke also weaves in some insights from psychologists and mental health professionals about childhood trauma and its impacts. I didn't feel like Burke knew exactly what this book wanted. A very fairytale version of what can happen after a very tough childhood.

[Lindsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

This isn’t your typical memoir. In all the best ways.

For the first few chapters, I was a bit restless and wanted more. More story, more background, more information to help me understand how Daria Burke got to where she is today. I found myself skimming, wanting a more straight-forward account from point A to Z, her secrets to her success, her tragedy to triumph story.

But as her story unfolded, mainly in bursts of musings, a mix of psychology and science, sprinkled with memories from the past, I realized this was the perfect way to tell her story.

There’s no glorification of trauma, no blaming of her past or the things that have happened outside of her control. There is instead, a raw vulnerability and a deep sadness mixed with hope that comes across on every page.

Burke is more than a culmination of her successes and is worthy of knowing regardless of her success, regardless of her traumatic past. Had her memoir been a simple account of tragedies and obstacles overcome, it would have been at odds with this fact.

Highly recommend.

Thanks to Netgally for the advanced reader e-book.

[ritareadthat · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rags to riches story of Daria Burke; her childhood was spent trying to survive parents that were entangled in the throes of drug addiction. A mother that was always high and verbally abusive, an absent father - but it was the death of her beloved grandmother when she was 7 that perpetuated the dismal decline of her childhood into something more horrendous.

The author looks back at her life, all of the hardships she had to overcome, all of the abuse and neglect, and how she pulled herself out of a poor neighborhood in Detroit to make something of herself. Daria is proof it is possible. This woman has drive, determination and resilience. Daria reflects on the pivotal event of her grandmother's death throughout different points in the book, using the memories of her grandmother as a balm to cure her wounded soul. As her life progresses, and after years of therapy, she starts taking a closer look at events she thought she had processed. Referencing various psychologists and mental health books, she pushes through her hardships and emerges victorious on the other side.

I listened to the audiobook of this and loved it. I always love memoirs that are narrated by the author. Daria especially radiates a positivity that you can actually hear come through while she is reading this book. It's a beautiful thing. The story was captivating and really reminded me a lot of What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo. Very important trauma memoir. The author became successful - both financially and socially as an adult - yet she is not pretentious in her writing of this book, and I appreciated that the most. Definitely a good listen.

Thanks so much to Net Galley and the publisher for an audiobook ARC in exchange for an honest review!

[Dawn Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

eBook ARC - 3 Stars
This was an interesting memoir about a successful woman who has overcome her childhood trauma [and folks, some of it is V E R Y traumatic ]to live a very full *AND* fulfilling life.

I found this to be a pretty interesting read/story [and naturally, cried some real ugly tears for all she lost as a child *AND* as an adult. Trauma recognizes trauma, no matter who has healed or not ] and the work she did to become the very best version of herself was also fascinating, B U T, there were moments for me that were annoying [and that I almost completely disconnected from ]; I am honestly very happy for her [anyone who has suffered trauma is almost automatically excitingly happy for those who have made peace with said trauma, and that is what happened here ], but not everyone has the privelege she has [that I 100% acknowledge she worked V E R Y hard for ] to get the kind of thereapy she had/has [*AND* that not everyone gets to heal, even if they do have the privelege of therapy] and there were absolutely moments that felt very tone-deaf to me, and I didn't really love those parts of the book.

Overall, it was a good read, and I am glad that I read it. I celebrate that she was able to heal and move on and make her life great, and I know that many people will really benefit from reading this book [so many times, all it takes is reading one book, talking to one person, hearing one podcast etc etc for a person who is traumatized to realize it and reach out for help and I applaud that fully] and for that, I both applaud the author and recommend this book to all who need it.

Audiobook ARC - 4 Stars
The author narrates this and while I struggle with most authors who narrate [not all should unfortunately], that was not the case here. Daria Burke is an excellent narrator [and could easily have a second job doing just that] and it was a real joy to listen to her tell her story. I highly recommend you experience this book via audio; it was a really fabulous experience.

Thank you to NetGalley, Daria Burke, Grand Central Publishing/Legacy Lit and Hachette Audio/Legacy Lit for providing the eBook and audiobook ARC's in exchange for an honest review.

[Carol Brennan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Daria Burke's story leaves nothing out when recounting the staggering challenges she and her sister overcame growing up in 1980s Detroit and it left me awestruck. That said, I hope she has a second memoir in her because I need to know more about how she survived U-M in the late '90s, corporate America/microggressions at Estee Lauder, and likely a horrific finance-bro ex-boyfriend or two.
Also, she worked at The Limited at Eastland in the mid-90s! I need to ask her if the fourth floor of Hudson's furniture department was her absolute favorite place in the world, too.

[Megan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the memoir of Daria Burke, an award-winning business leader and speaker, who shares details of her difficult childhood marked by neglect and poverty. She discusses how she overcame many obstacles to not only achieve success in her career but also confront her past childhood trauma through the help of therapy. Burke is vulnerable in sharing the intimate and upsetting details of her upbringing and it is heartbreaking to hear what she dealt with as a child. This is an inspiring read about how Burke was able to push to be her best in the face of incredible adversity. Burke then explains her multi-year journey into therapy, neuroplasticity, epigenetics, and how she was able to achieve Post Traumatic Growth. This part was initially quite interesting but overall, a bit long and it was difficult to stay engaged after a while. Burke should definitely be proud of what she has accomplished, although it sounds like her unique brain function had much to do with her drive to overcome difficult events, which is not typically the case for most individuals in similar situations. It is nonetheless an impressive and remarkable feat, and an excellent memoir I would recommend to others! I had the opportunity to listen to the audiobook, which Daria reads herself, and she is an excellent narrator with an engaging voice that is easy to listen to. Thank you to NetGalley, Daria Burke, Legacy Lit, and Hachette Audio for the gifted ALC. This is a voluntary and honest review.

[KDub · Rating 5 out of 5]

Of My Own Making is Daria Burke's memoir of how she overcame many childhood traumas and came to be a very successful adult. She had an absentee father, a drug-addicted mother, and her other caretaker - her grandma, passed away when she was just seven. As an adult she dives into post traumatic growth, brain development, and the impacts of childhood experiences, to understand her own successes.

This feels like a true rags to riches story, as many people you've heard of in a similar situation (probably) turn out much worse. Her tenacity and strength, along with her desire to understand herself more, were very admirable.

The author narrates, which I feel always makes the most sense for memoirs. Her voice is clear and strong.

Recommended for anyone interested in a story about resilience and overcoming childhood trauma.

Thank you Hachette Audio and NetGalley for the ALC.

This is a review of the audiobook.

[Julie Minerbo · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed Daria's memoir and, while it was thought provoking, sometimes it just dragged. I wish she had written more about her childhood trauma, relationships and how in the world she was able to avoid addiction.

[Amy]

Yes:
A book I borrowed from the library to try before I buy (tired buying hundreds books and hating half)

I read first ch or more -first 10-100 pages skim around at times. I read many of my GR friend’s reviews. This is what I did and didn’t like:

Love cover & size book cute
Wow great writing. I feel very connected. I’m very interested in reading about how she coped w her trauma in various way.

[LaQuetta Glaze · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read Of My Own Making via Audible. The author, Daria Burke, narrated her book. From beginning to end, I commend Daria for telling her story in such an engaging and intimate way. She tells the story of choosing herself and becoming her own friend. She outlines the messy middle of toxic parental relationships and reminds the reader that forgiveness is not a straight line. She navigates her life with and without apologies from the ones who inflicted pain.

Daria reminds us that she process of healing generational wounds are not easy to unpack. One line stood out to me that she mentions as a integral component to her thought process as a young woman: “I would never become the highest version of myself in the place that threatened to destroy me.” Freedom is never free and standing in stability after a painful emergence in life deserves our applause. I am grateful that she shared her story with us.

The layout of her book is different than other memoirs, but the layout is perfect for her journey. Excellent read. Highly recommend.

[TimsGlitterBug · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book confusing and yet interesting at the same time. A strange dichotomy emerges when we are constantly trying to spin positivity through what is bleak, cruel, & raw. A life lived with cognitive dissonance is so hard to disentangle from. Personally, I feel the author got caught in a cycle of constantly over explaining, which is indicative of experiencing trauma, in the incessant need survivors have to be seen, loved & understood by others. She spins an overly positive mantra onto it all, again & again to the point where personally it all felt rather forced & contrived.
Yet, as I read & this pattern emerged, with it came the feeling of its necessity in its consistency, as if the only way for the author to tell this story was to ensure the reader how focused on the positive she is/was. I don't fault her that entirely, as I am myself a survivor of abusive, addictive parents & I do understand that it's a pretty common manner of coping that we employ-always trying to pull yourself back up & move forward while assuring everyone that you're fine.

I can also understand the desire to gloss over how truly brutal real healing is. Grieving a lost childhood that was not able to be nurtured & protected, but was instead endured & survived at the hands of the very people who were entrusted with its protection is unbelievably heartbreaking. Yet, her writing choices showed a necessity to keep disengaging from the raw, internal moments of these impacts & realizations, to the logical, cerebral or positive rationale of her addiction to achieving- which most of us survivors deal with, having an unrelenting drive to prove our worthiness. The few moments where she slows down, & she momentarily marinates in her realizations and its astonishing depths of pain, are for me the Real bright sparks in this book. For me, those are the moments where she took the time to breathe. She's then sitting before the reader, not reciting from her note cards some practiced, lifeless narrative far removed from the audience, hiding behind a podium, but she's in our midst with us, as one would be in a group therapy session. Those moments of true honesty & openness I applaud & cherished.

In truth, I feel this constant need to disengage and shift to positivity might very well be exactly what she no doubt daily employs to continue in her own coping & healing journey which have been apparently wildly successful for her, so who's to fault her that? Not I.

The more I write this I must admit, I had expectations that went unfulfilled & I recognize those are really my own to contend with.
I felt frequently drawn in and then turned off by the author's constant necessity to bypass what's deep, choosing instead to focus on highlighting her financial & social achievements. These flip flops lend to the story that she tells feeling a bit lopsided and also flat. I picked up this book to read her experience regarding C-ptsd, so I braced for impact, having also spent years working thru my own C-ptsd. I was disappointed with the frequency of time spent describing the bourgeois settings of her adult life that she's no doubt worked incredibly hard to achieve, than she spent on the actual internal moments she's attempting to share but writing this book...

...I still say take the time to read it yourself should you wish & form your own opinions.

[Em · Rating 4 out of 5]

Daria Burke's memoir 'Of My Own Making' is a powerful story about healing from generational trauma and finding yourself along the way - the you that you truly are and not the you others want you to be. She opens up about her difficult childhood with poverty and a mother struggling with addiction. Despite these challenges, Burke writes with kindness toward herself and her past, showing how she grew stronger through those experiences. I was deeply impacted at the way Daria, despite being estranged from her mother, sought to understand the girl her mother was and couldn't be as a means to reauthor a truer origin story.

Daria blends personal stories with facts about how childhood trauma affects the brain and how healing can happen. If you liked Stephanie Foo's 'What My Bones Know', you'll connect with Burke's accessible insights on trauma and personal growth. There's a lot of great information in here on rewiring the brain after traumatic experiences as well.

Burke shares how she learned to support her younger self and let go of harmful relationships. She also talks about the pain of saying good-bye to a therapist before she felt ready, which reminded her of unresolved family struggles. Her reflections help readers think about their own emotional healing.

A touching part of the book is her tribute to her late grandmother, whose love stayed with her even after she passed. Burke shows how holding on to good memories is a crucial part of the healing process.

Overall, 'Of My Own Making' inspires readers to believe in healing, even when the past is painful. Burke proves that we can't change our past, but we can take control of our stories and move forward with self-love and honesty. Daria is the leader she is today as a result of her experiences and not in spite of them. I love the self-honor and self-celebration that underscores this work! So many people will be empowered by Daria's story!

[Lorena · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a well-written memoir of childhood trauma and recovery from complex PTSD. When the author talked about shopping for a second home in the Hamptons, I thought I wouldn’t be able to relate to her story. Once she started opening up about the poverty, abuse, and neglect she experienced and how that affected her, I found her much more relatable.

It’s a good story worth reading, although I didn’t love it the way I did Stephanie Foo’s What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma. I found Foo’s story a little more informative and inspiring—Burke’s book often left me wanting more. I did appreciate hearing Burke’s perspective as a Black woman in business, and I found her discussion of the brain testing she received from an Amen Clinic interesting.

The audiobook production was excellent, and it was nice to hear the author’s story in her own voice. Her narration was well-paced and easy to understand, and she conveyed the mood and emotions of each scene effectively.

Recommeded for those who enjoy memoirs and are curious about the effects of childhood trauma and post-traumatic growth.

I received a free advanced review copy of the audiobook through NetGalley. I volunteered to provide an honest review.

[Stephanie Laurenza · Rating 5 out of 5]

I heard Daria on a Fresh Air interview and was captivated: this woman had a story so similar to mine, with grief and addiction interwoven throughout her life (especially her childhood). That same day I found the audiobook to listen to (Daria's voice is also incredible - unsurprising given she's a well-known public speaker) and slowly made my way through. I say slowly purposefully, as some of it was very heard to read (listen to) given how strongly it resonated with my own experiences. I found myself often nodding or remarking out loud - there were some particularly odd similarities, some specific trauma incidents, that really gripped me and reminded me of my own. Even moreso, I appreciate the emphasis on the After: the deep dive into the brain and how it is connected to trauma; the idea of PTG (post-traumatic growth) and how it is possible; the concept of forgiveness and reconciliation and healing and their impact - all of it is incredibly fascinating and super relevant to me. I appreciate how forthright Daria was in unearthing her experiences and explaining the reasoning behind her decisions, how everything was meant to distance her from the life she could have lived (whew). What a book.

[Mira LaBelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I heard the author speak on NPR. I did not hear the entire interview. I heard the part about Post Traumatic Growth. That was the part I was most interested in. That topic did not show up until the last chapter.

The book was well written, sometimes a bit cliche-ish. It seemed like sometimes she tried too hard to be creative with her imagery. I felt as if she did some name dropping when she talked about her corporate work history. I did not see how naming these people advanced the story. I also felt as if she was tooting her own horn when she talked about the results of he brain scan.

I appreciated her weaving details of her trauma with her own growth, psychology, and references to the psychologist. The trauma parts were hard for me to read because it paralleled so much of my own experience. Ms. Burke is surviving and thriving so much better than I am. This is in part because she has had the money to do the ongoing therapy she has had in her life.

This is not a self help book. One can glean information to do further reading. This book has motivated me to learn more about post traumatic growth and absent mothers.

[Frenchy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Of My Own Making by Daria Burke is a powerful and unflinching exploration of trauma, survival, and healing. Through lyrical prose and sharp emotional insight, Burke unpacks the long-lasting impact of childhood trauma and the ways it silently shapes adulthood. What sets this memoir apart is its refusal to simplify the healing process. Burke illustrates how pain can live in the body, in memory, and in silence, often beyond the reach of intellect or reason.

Rather than offering a linear narrative of recovery, the book leans into the complexity of healing, acknowledging the fractured identities we create to survive and the difficult work of integration that follows. Burke’s story challenges societal notions of “normalcy” and success, revealing the emotional cost of meeting external expectations while internal wounds remain unaddressed.

This memoir is both a deeply personal account and a universal reflection on what it means to reclaim one’s story on one’s own terms. Honest, raw, and deeply resonant, Of My Own Making is a vital read for anyone interested in the intersection of trauma, identity, and self-reclamation.

[Brittney Jade · Rating 4 out of 5]

*I received an ARC of this book thanks to the publishers and I am leaving this review voluntarily*

This memoir is part memoir, but also part teaching as well. I learned so many new things and found myself going down a rabbit hole googling different terms and the different books Daria read during her growth.

The book begins with the author, Daria, finding an old photo of her grandmother. This triggered something in her to begin reflecting on her childhood and believed that if her grandmother had never had the accident that killed her, Daria's childhood would be completely different.

Daria's story is one of resilience. What she went through is hard to imagine but seeing how she turned out is truly inspirational. She was able to beat the odds and leave not only Detroit behind, but was able to say "enough is enough" to her drug addicted parents and move on for the sake of her mental health.

If you're looking for an inspirational book, I definitely recommend picking this one up.

Thank you Legacy Lit for my ARC. This book was truly fabulous.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book chronicles the author’s journey from a deeply challenging childhood marked by an absent father, maternal addiction, and poverty to achieving leadership success.

The writing is lyrical, clear, and engaging. She expertly balances emotional honesty with intellectual insight. We follow memories interwoven with psychological insights which speaks to the author’s authenticity and power. The blend of lived experience with scientific explanations offers depth. Her vulnerability shines through when she discusses her memories, struggles, and learning about herself. Beyond recounting her life, this book also discusses her experience going through the next steps of learning more about herself scientifically and starting to heal and grow from her learnings and experiences.

Ultimately, this is a beautifully written, enlightening memoir narrating healing through science, personal history, and self-compassion making the book both relatable and deeply motivational. I highly recommended this for anyone interested in trauma, resilience, and the power of self-directed change.

[Star A · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an incredible read and so much more than a memoir. It’s beautifully written, painfully honest, and clearly explains critical scientific concepts related to healing after experiencing complex trauma in childhood.

The author is obviously very well read, which is why this book is a such gift. It offers so much knowledge and wisdom to those who may have lived through traumatic childhood experiences but lack the same financial means or access as the author (i.e., access to long-term therapy).

This book will also appeal to folks who are examining the state of their own lives, questioning what success truly means, or embarking on a journey toward more consciousness and self-awareness. I’ve already bought three additional copies for friends and family who I hope will benefit from reading Daria’s story, just as I have.

It’s really hard to believe that this is Daria Burke’s first book. I’m excited to see what she writes next!

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must-read for anyone who has had to overcome their past and write their own story. Daria's tells hers in ways that are intimate and specific, yet so universally relatable and understandable. What I loved the most about this book was not just the inspirational story but the practical steps she took to get to the other side of acceptance. Her writing —about Claire Huxtable, the metallic taste of survival, the lack of a childhood ceremony, then power and the limits of therapy, feeling like a statue in her own life, and later, what it felt like to be held by friends and truly know her worth—is marked by clarity and truth and a belief in the beauty of it all.

[Jessie Barnes · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book in less than 24 hours and honestly, I’m still sitting with everything it opened up for me. Daria’s story is not only powerful and beautifully told, but it also pushed me to ask questions I didn’t even realize I needed to be asking. About healing, identity, and what it means to build a life for yourself on your own terms.

It’s rare to read a book that feels this real and generous. It was a reminder that healing is messy and not linear but profoundly worth it. I can't recommend it enough. If you’re looking for a book that will challenge you and stay with you long after you finish it.

[April Clarke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Of My Own Making is a beautiful reflection on the power of belief and knowing oneself and the strength we all possess to change our lives.

I truly enjoyed reading this memoir. Growing up in Detroit, I shared a similar experience and sense a kinship with the trajectory illustrated in this memoir.

This book goes a step further and takes us beyond the trauma imparting knowledge and practices that can heal. I appreciated both the deep internal reflection Burke shared as well as the journey and ways she overcame her trauma.

This book is a must read for anyone who has experienced trauma and is looking for inspiration and for anyone who is interested in the topic of neuroplasticity.

[Kimberley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this memoir, especially with Daria’s voice. Her resilience and strength of character permeates throughout. It’s an example of her personal excellence while also a stark reminder of all the people who get left behind because of race, addiction, poverty, etc.
The book itself was steeped in psychological terminology, which was distancing at times. It was clear how much therapy was a guiding force in helping her to come to terms with her childhood and the lasting impact it had to the present day. I wish there had been more personal info about her continuing family relationships but I can appreciate that lines have to be drawn and protecting their privacy is more important than giving us that additional perspective.

[Tiffany · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Disassociation... was a cashmere blanket and a lass of wine in front of a cozy fire" was all too relatable. There were parts of this book that were heart wrenching but mostly, inspiring. Daria's writing is relatable and easy to consume painting vivid pictures of the scenes of her life. Coming out of this, I recognize a bit more of myself. Very rare for an author to do that level of work in her first go 'round as an author. Bravo, Daria!

Another bar I loved... "Trauma changes the brain. So does healing." We all need a little more healing don't we?

[Brandi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Burkes memoir was very raw and vulnerable, and even though it was heavy I could not put it down. The book pulled my attention in from the start - a successful women partying and living her best life and is suddenly triggered by something that caused her trauma in the past. So many of u are going through the days, going by the motions and pushing ourselves but not healing our past. Then, suddenly, everything rushes up and we don’t know how to deal.

I enjoyed reading how Burke healed her cptsd, and how she noticed it even though she always succeeded and was resilient.

[Becca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Daria Burke shares her experience of childhood abuse and neglect, and how it has impacted her life and path toward healing. Good blend of personal narrative and research surrounding trauma and PTSD. Engaging, interesting, moving. Very well narrated by the author as well.

Definitely search for TW if you have concerns.

Thank you to NetGalley and Hachette Audio for the free ALC in exchange for my honest review.

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've read a lot of books where the author blends memoir and a non-fic exploration of a topic. They are hard to get right, but I think Daria Burke did. She explores the psychology and science of living a life after trauma while diving into her own history. This offers a unique POV, because she leans into the idea that even the worst childhood doesn't preclude you from living a healthy and comfortable adulthood. I enjoyed her story as well as her writing.

[anchi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Of My Own Making by Daria Burke shares her journey from being raised by parents struggling with addiction to achieving success in her career. This is not a typical memoir; Daria weaves in discussions of various psychological theories that helped her heal and grow from her trauma. The audiobook feels particularly personal, as it is narrated by the author herself, and overall, it is an engaging and pleasant read. Thank you Legacy Lit & NetGalley for the advanced audiobook.

[Myron Branford · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really love this book.. it’s insightful and so thoughtful, how you illustrate your personal growth with metaphors and imagery.. your house, the garden’s soil etc

I really liked how you integrated your therapy sessions and brain scan sessions to share with the reader how you really took a DEEP dive into your growth and healing. Such an amazing read!

[Anne Jisca · Rating 4 out of 5]

Daria's memoir follows her through her childhood, how she fought to get herself out of the cycle, her therapy, healing process, and her search to understand how her childhood trauma has impacted her in every level of her body, mind, soul. She searches for answers, and shares her discoveries in her memoir.

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.