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To Kill a Cockroach
To kill a 'faggot' is no different than killing a roach," the author writes in his book -To Kill a Cockroach. The author uses the words he heard as a child with painstaking precision. In her Pulitzer prize book, To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee depicts the cruelty in a fictional racist town in America in the 1930s. -where the innocent are preyed on because of the color of their skin. In To Kill a Cockroach, the author struggles with the same kind of hatred Lee vividly portrays in her story. In the Cuban diaspora, the author heard, in words and actions, that homosexuals were no better than a roach. Not unlike Lee's fictional town of Maycombe, Alabama, Miami was rampant with prejudice and hatred. The Cuban Revolution, the hostility against his homosexuality, the devastation of AIDS, and the search for self-love are at the core of this memoir. The writer takes the readers through his journey to survive the unsurvivable. The reader will be inspired by Osvaldo's relentless spiritual journey toward self-love, where nature and animals become his refuge.
"Intense and full of emotion, this autobiography of a man and an artist will captivate the reader with its message of hope, improvement, and celebration of existence despite all obstacles. It is a vivid book."
-Jose Luis Piquero-
"Intense and full of emotion, this autobiography of a man and an artist will captivate the reader with its message of hope, improvement, and celebration of existence despite all obstacles. It is a vivid book."
-Jose Luis Piquero-
- GenresLGBT
280 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 27, 2024
52 people are currently reading
52 people want to read
About the author
Osvaldo Calixto Amador
2 books11 followersOsvaldo Calixto Amador is a Cuban-American artist who lives in Coral Gables, Florida, USA.
Having painted since childhood, his painting career officially took off in 2006 when he began exhibiting in local galleries in his hometown and New York City.
In 2010, he held his first solo exhibit, Resurrection, under the auspices of Miami Dade College and the City of Miami. Artzine Magazine called it "one of the best productions in ages."
He went on to do what he himself called the "Mount Everest " of his painting career with his solo exhibit, Credo, in 2012. The exhibit was held at La Merced / Corpus Cristi Catholic Church, in the center of the art community in Midtown Miami.
His art is showcased in distinguished private collections alongside legends in the art world, past and present.
In 2023, Osvaldo Calixto Amador debuted his writing career with his memoir,
To Kill a Cockroach-
an LGBTQ+ memoir
"To Kill a Cockroach uses the simplest of creatures as a stand-in for the existential struggles that everyone faces...The memoir represents a new medium through which Amador explores the intersection of personal and collective experience...Osvaldo Calixto Amador is a rare figure in today’s art world."
USA Today
"Amador’s body of work, both in art and literature, stands as a testament to the transformative potential of art."
New York Weekly
"Readers who have dealt with exile, abuse, loss, or prejudice in their own lives will find in Amador a sympathetic storyteller who digs into these feelings with fearlessness and grace. An affecting memoir about isolation and belonging."
Kirkus Review
Colombian writer and researcher Maria Andrade called the memoir a " vivid portrait of the life of a Cuban American Artist in the Cuban Diaspora."
Jose Luis Piquero- " A captivating message of hope"
"To Kill a Cockroach is a poignant memoir that chronicles the experiences of Osvaldito, a Cuban-American artist and writer, from his native Cuba to his childhood and adulthood in Miami. Osvaldo provides a unique perspective of the immigrant experience as he narrates a childhood rife with challenges, loss, uncertainty, and abandonment. He paints vivid portraits of life in Little Havana after the Cuban Revolution, and his characters come alive " ***
As a gay man growing up in the 1980s, Osvaldo experiences the loss of a community ravaged by AIDS. His Memoir is a living testament to the nobleness of the human spirit and the significant contribution that art plays in uplifting the soul in times of hopelessness.
He has dedicated himself to his passions, including his love of animals, nature, painting, and writing. His visual and literary art speak for themselves. They help bring beauty and love to the downtrodden and inspire and motivate us all to have an authentic God-given voice.
Much of his work can be credited to his eclectic education and love of transcendental beauty. He graduated from Florida International University with a bachelor's in art in world history and a Master's in Sociology with concentrations in philosophy, philosophy of religion, anthropology, and psychology.
Author's email:
oca4love@yahoo.com
*** Maria Andrade
Having painted since childhood, his painting career officially took off in 2006 when he began exhibiting in local galleries in his hometown and New York City.
In 2010, he held his first solo exhibit, Resurrection, under the auspices of Miami Dade College and the City of Miami. Artzine Magazine called it "one of the best productions in ages."
He went on to do what he himself called the "Mount Everest " of his painting career with his solo exhibit, Credo, in 2012. The exhibit was held at La Merced / Corpus Cristi Catholic Church, in the center of the art community in Midtown Miami.
His art is showcased in distinguished private collections alongside legends in the art world, past and present.
In 2023, Osvaldo Calixto Amador debuted his writing career with his memoir,
To Kill a Cockroach-
an LGBTQ+ memoir
"To Kill a Cockroach uses the simplest of creatures as a stand-in for the existential struggles that everyone faces...The memoir represents a new medium through which Amador explores the intersection of personal and collective experience...Osvaldo Calixto Amador is a rare figure in today’s art world."
USA Today
"Amador’s body of work, both in art and literature, stands as a testament to the transformative potential of art."
New York Weekly
"Readers who have dealt with exile, abuse, loss, or prejudice in their own lives will find in Amador a sympathetic storyteller who digs into these feelings with fearlessness and grace. An affecting memoir about isolation and belonging."
Kirkus Review
Colombian writer and researcher Maria Andrade called the memoir a " vivid portrait of the life of a Cuban American Artist in the Cuban Diaspora."
Jose Luis Piquero- " A captivating message of hope"
"To Kill a Cockroach is a poignant memoir that chronicles the experiences of Osvaldito, a Cuban-American artist and writer, from his native Cuba to his childhood and adulthood in Miami. Osvaldo provides a unique perspective of the immigrant experience as he narrates a childhood rife with challenges, loss, uncertainty, and abandonment. He paints vivid portraits of life in Little Havana after the Cuban Revolution, and his characters come alive " ***
As a gay man growing up in the 1980s, Osvaldo experiences the loss of a community ravaged by AIDS. His Memoir is a living testament to the nobleness of the human spirit and the significant contribution that art plays in uplifting the soul in times of hopelessness.
He has dedicated himself to his passions, including his love of animals, nature, painting, and writing. His visual and literary art speak for themselves. They help bring beauty and love to the downtrodden and inspire and motivate us all to have an authentic God-given voice.
Much of his work can be credited to his eclectic education and love of transcendental beauty. He graduated from Florida International University with a bachelor's in art in world history and a Master's in Sociology with concentrations in philosophy, philosophy of religion, anthropology, and psychology.
Author's email:
oca4love@yahoo.com
*** Maria Andrade
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
February 14, 2025
Osvaldo Calixto Amador’s To Kill a Cockroach is a deeply personal and philosophical memoir that weaves together themes of identity, survival, and self-acceptance. Through a series of poetic reflections, autobiographical vignettes, and existential musings, the author recounts his life’s journey—from childhood struggles and societal alienation to moments of revelation and healing. Drawing inspiration from To Kill a Mockingbird and Black Beauty, Amador uses their themes of injustice and compassion as a lens to examine his own existence. The book is less about a linear story and more about peeling back layers of experience to reveal the universal quest for love and understanding.
I enjoyed this book’s lyrical, almost dreamlike writing style. Amador tells his story with emotions and sensory details. One passage that lingers in my mind is his recollection of watching To Kill a Mockingbird and his visceral reaction to Atticus Finch’s words about killing blue jays but sparing mockingbirds. His discomfort with this moral distinction spirals into a philosophical dilemma: why kill at all? This moment becomes a metaphor for larger existential questions—who decides what has value and what is deemed expendable? The writing here is raw, reflective, and unapologetically introspective, which makes it both beautiful and unsettling.
Another powerful aspect of the book is its exploration of love and self-acceptance. Amador, a gay man who struggled with societal rejection and personal trauma, writes with haunting honesty about the pain of being an outsider. His connection with animals, particularly the birds and dogs he cares for, becomes a form of redemption. One of the most touching moments is his bond with his dog, Toto, and the grief that follows her passing. His emotions are palpable, and the way he describes love—whether for a pet, a friend, or the self—is heartbreakingly sincere.
The book is brimming with poetic depth. The stream-of-consciousness style can be overwhelming at times. That said, this isn’t a book that’s meant to be read for plot. It’s an experience—sometimes chaotic, sometimes deeply thoughtful. The disjointed nature might frustrate some readers, but for those who appreciate literature that leans more on introspection than structure, it offers a rewarding and emotional ride.
To Kill a Cockroach is for readers who enjoy poetic memoirs, philosophical musings, and emotionally raw storytelling. If you’ve ever wrestled with identity, love, or belonging, this book will speak to you.
I enjoyed this book’s lyrical, almost dreamlike writing style. Amador tells his story with emotions and sensory details. One passage that lingers in my mind is his recollection of watching To Kill a Mockingbird and his visceral reaction to Atticus Finch’s words about killing blue jays but sparing mockingbirds. His discomfort with this moral distinction spirals into a philosophical dilemma: why kill at all? This moment becomes a metaphor for larger existential questions—who decides what has value and what is deemed expendable? The writing here is raw, reflective, and unapologetically introspective, which makes it both beautiful and unsettling.
Another powerful aspect of the book is its exploration of love and self-acceptance. Amador, a gay man who struggled with societal rejection and personal trauma, writes with haunting honesty about the pain of being an outsider. His connection with animals, particularly the birds and dogs he cares for, becomes a form of redemption. One of the most touching moments is his bond with his dog, Toto, and the grief that follows her passing. His emotions are palpable, and the way he describes love—whether for a pet, a friend, or the self—is heartbreakingly sincere.
The book is brimming with poetic depth. The stream-of-consciousness style can be overwhelming at times. That said, this isn’t a book that’s meant to be read for plot. It’s an experience—sometimes chaotic, sometimes deeply thoughtful. The disjointed nature might frustrate some readers, but for those who appreciate literature that leans more on introspection than structure, it offers a rewarding and emotional ride.
To Kill a Cockroach is for readers who enjoy poetic memoirs, philosophical musings, and emotionally raw storytelling. If you’ve ever wrestled with identity, love, or belonging, this book will speak to you.
October 30, 2025
Osvaldo Calixto Amador’s memoir, To Kill a Cockroach, is an intense, worthwhile read. This book uses a poetic style to explore heavy themes like survival, finding an identity, and finally accepting oneself. It mixes reflections, short life stories, and big life questions, showing the author’s whole journey. He starts with a tough childhood and feeling like an outsider, moving toward moments of clarity and real healing. The author uses ideas from classics like To Kill a Mockingbird and Black Beauty to think about injustice and compassion in his own past. The book is not a straight-line story; it is more like pulling back layers to show a universal search for love and understanding in a difficult world. The writing style is beautiful, almost like a dream, and Amador tells his story using strong feelings and details that make you feel the scene. One part that sticks with you is his memory of seeing To Kill a Mockingbird and thinking about the difference between killing blue jays and protecting mockingbirds. That moment turns into a huge question about why we kill anything, becoming a symbol for bigger questions about who decides what matters and what we can throw away. The writing feels honest and deep, which makes it an emotional ride.
The book is full of depth and feeling. The way the story jumps around can feel like a lot sometimes. You do not read this book for a plot; you read it for the experience, which is sometimes messy and sometimes profoundly thoughtful. Some readers might get frustrated by the structure, but for people who like literature that focuses on looking inward rather than strict organization, the book offers a deep, satisfying experience. The author writes with honesty about pain and the challenge of feeling unwelcome. His relationships with animals, like the birds and dogs he cares for, become a huge part of his recovery. His bond with his dog, Toto, and the sadness after her death are very moving. The way he talks about love is sincere and powerful. This book is a must for readers who enjoy deep, poetic life stories, philosophical questions, and writing that feels truly raw. If you have ever struggled with who you are or finding where you belong, this book will connect with you.
The book is full of depth and feeling. The way the story jumps around can feel like a lot sometimes. You do not read this book for a plot; you read it for the experience, which is sometimes messy and sometimes profoundly thoughtful. Some readers might get frustrated by the structure, but for people who like literature that focuses on looking inward rather than strict organization, the book offers a deep, satisfying experience. The author writes with honesty about pain and the challenge of feeling unwelcome. His relationships with animals, like the birds and dogs he cares for, become a huge part of his recovery. His bond with his dog, Toto, and the sadness after her death are very moving. The way he talks about love is sincere and powerful. This book is a must for readers who enjoy deep, poetic life stories, philosophical questions, and writing that feels truly raw. If you have ever struggled with who you are or finding where you belong, this book will connect with you.
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July 29, 2025Cuban-born, American abstract artist Osvaldo Calixto Amador’s 2024 so-called LGBTQ+ memoir, “To Kill A Cockroach,” was hard for me to get into but worth it in the end. Its abstract and simplified prose in the early chapters made me wonder how long he’d been speaking and writing in English. It did not seem to come easily to the reader. The organization of the chapters by topic (parents, school, art…) rather than chronologically had me, as the reader, struggling to remain oriented, jumping back and forth in time as they do. The author’s device of speaking of himself in the third person alternating with first-person narrative and by different names (Osvaldito, Ozzie, Oz, Calixto…) may have been deliberate to mirror his shattered psyche, but gave the book for me an arm’s-length distance from the character’s core. Nonetheless, as he grows, the story turns a corner and slowly integrates. This is the story of a fragile, sensitive boy, sexually abused in his childhood, involuntarily deported from his homeland, separated from his beloved father and mother, terrorized by his alcoholic maternal American family members, adrift as a small boy in a country where no one spoke his language or attempted to try, where life was a crushing experience of fleeing and surviving. Ultimately, out of this horror, emerges the story of a loving, deeply spiritual, courageous and self-actualizing artist and creator. Besides becoming easier to follow, the latter chapters, including one about his various dogs, become more enjoyable and moving. The description of his first visit to San Francisco in 1981, when he was sixteen, is especially vivid, and the subsequent loss of most of his friends and community to AIDS in the late 80s is contrastingly grim and heart-rendering. More than anything, Amador captures the voice of the terrified child, the young unliked immigrant in a strange and foreign land, the defenseless victim of abuse and prejudice. Simultaneously, he expresses the awe and joy of the loving, creative soul.
August 17, 2025
Inspirational and moving
If it’s wrong to kill a mockingbird, then why is it okay to kill a blue jay? Why kill at all? That is the question in Osvaldo’s heart as he explores the realities of love, hate, and discrimination through his own experiences as a gay immigrant boy from Cuba. Osvaldo’s family was torn apart during the Cuban revolution, when his mother was forced to leave her husband and eldest daughter behind as she fled to the US with her youngest daughter and infant son. Osvaldo describes the difficulties he faced entering a school system with a different language from the one spoken in his home. This was compounded by the slew of abuse that he suffered from the adults in his life, who caused him to live in a state of fear rather than love.
I was deeply touched by Osvaldo’s reminiscence of how he realized he was gay at around the age of eight. It is heartbreaking to think of a child that young being terrified that he was going to hell because of something he could not control. He recounts how he would sneak into a little local chapel to beg God to remove his gayness, and how he believed his life might as well end if it did not work. This story really tugged at my heartstrings. I wish more people would read about experiences like this before lashing out in discrimination and hate.
Osvaldo also describes what it was like to be a young gay man during the '80s AIDS epidemic. He tells the tragic story of how he watched 23 friends perish from the disease, while also enduring discrimination from family members, politicians, and sometimes even doctors. Throughout all of these recollections, Osvaldo exhorts the virtues of love and compassion toward all people. “We don’t need another god or another preacher; we need love, and we desperately need to make God synonymous with love.”
I found this book inspiring and deeply moving. Osvaldo has much wisdom to share about life, creativity, and the need for love towards others, regardless of their background.
If it’s wrong to kill a mockingbird, then why is it okay to kill a blue jay? Why kill at all? That is the question in Osvaldo’s heart as he explores the realities of love, hate, and discrimination through his own experiences as a gay immigrant boy from Cuba. Osvaldo’s family was torn apart during the Cuban revolution, when his mother was forced to leave her husband and eldest daughter behind as she fled to the US with her youngest daughter and infant son. Osvaldo describes the difficulties he faced entering a school system with a different language from the one spoken in his home. This was compounded by the slew of abuse that he suffered from the adults in his life, who caused him to live in a state of fear rather than love.
I was deeply touched by Osvaldo’s reminiscence of how he realized he was gay at around the age of eight. It is heartbreaking to think of a child that young being terrified that he was going to hell because of something he could not control. He recounts how he would sneak into a little local chapel to beg God to remove his gayness, and how he believed his life might as well end if it did not work. This story really tugged at my heartstrings. I wish more people would read about experiences like this before lashing out in discrimination and hate.
Osvaldo also describes what it was like to be a young gay man during the '80s AIDS epidemic. He tells the tragic story of how he watched 23 friends perish from the disease, while also enduring discrimination from family members, politicians, and sometimes even doctors. Throughout all of these recollections, Osvaldo exhorts the virtues of love and compassion toward all people. “We don’t need another god or another preacher; we need love, and we desperately need to make God synonymous with love.”
I found this book inspiring and deeply moving. Osvaldo has much wisdom to share about life, creativity, and the need for love towards others, regardless of their background.
October 17, 2025
Spellbound
I finished To Kill a Cockroach and felt as if someone had turned on a hard light in a small kitchen and asked me to look without flinching. Osvaldo Calixto Amador writes a life that keeps moving when the room offers no shelter. The Cuban Revolution is not a chapter heading for him, it is the air he first learns to breathe; exile is not a metaphor, it is luggage that never quite grows lighter; the AIDS epidemic is not an entry in a timeline, it is a roll call that hurts to read. Out of those pressures he learns the slow craft of self regard and the stubborn uses of art.
Readers will spot the echo of Mockingbird, yet Amador does not bow to it. If that earlier book taught us to shield a songbird, this one studies the creature that survives when the floor tilts and the food runs out. It is a moral inquiry told through a body and a voice, not a lecture. He writes desire with clarity, shame without self pity, and family with the tension of love that has been asked to endure more than its share.
The pages move with a maker’s patience. Scenes of Havana and departure, of rented rooms and rehearsal halls and clinics, arrive with detail that carries weight but never clutters. History stands close to the shoulder rather than far off as scenery. You feel how policy turns into a bus line, a ration card, an empty chair at dinner. You feel how a drawing, a song, a page of prose can become a handle to lift the day.
What startled me most was the steadiness. The language is elegant without polish for show, tough without bravado. Amador refuses the easy pose of hero or victim and chooses witness instead. By the end I trusted him with the hard parts, the ledger of friends, the bargains made to keep going, the cost of choosing to be fully seen.
This memoir does what the form promises at its best. It tells the truth of one life with such care that it enlarges the reader’s own. It left me wide awake, light on, grateful for the clarity it offers and the grit it honors.
I finished To Kill a Cockroach and felt as if someone had turned on a hard light in a small kitchen and asked me to look without flinching. Osvaldo Calixto Amador writes a life that keeps moving when the room offers no shelter. The Cuban Revolution is not a chapter heading for him, it is the air he first learns to breathe; exile is not a metaphor, it is luggage that never quite grows lighter; the AIDS epidemic is not an entry in a timeline, it is a roll call that hurts to read. Out of those pressures he learns the slow craft of self regard and the stubborn uses of art.
Readers will spot the echo of Mockingbird, yet Amador does not bow to it. If that earlier book taught us to shield a songbird, this one studies the creature that survives when the floor tilts and the food runs out. It is a moral inquiry told through a body and a voice, not a lecture. He writes desire with clarity, shame without self pity, and family with the tension of love that has been asked to endure more than its share.
The pages move with a maker’s patience. Scenes of Havana and departure, of rented rooms and rehearsal halls and clinics, arrive with detail that carries weight but never clutters. History stands close to the shoulder rather than far off as scenery. You feel how policy turns into a bus line, a ration card, an empty chair at dinner. You feel how a drawing, a song, a page of prose can become a handle to lift the day.
What startled me most was the steadiness. The language is elegant without polish for show, tough without bravado. Amador refuses the easy pose of hero or victim and chooses witness instead. By the end I trusted him with the hard parts, the ledger of friends, the bargains made to keep going, the cost of choosing to be fully seen.
This memoir does what the form promises at its best. It tells the truth of one life with such care that it enlarges the reader’s own. It left me wide awake, light on, grateful for the clarity it offers and the grit it honors.
September 12, 2025
A Heart Touching Biography
To Kill a Cockroach by Osvaldo Calixto Amador is an engaging biography that takes readers on an emotional rollercoaster. I appreciated the author’s narrative style, particularly how he shifted between first-person and third-person perspectives.
Reading about the family separation when the author’s mother took the children to another country, leaving their father behind during a political upheaval, evoked deep empathy in me. Additionally, his early childhood in a foreign land was filled with misery, especially his school experience, where he suffered violations from those who were meant to protect him and had no one to confide in.
I admired Osvaldo's resilience and his commitment to education despite the challenges he faced. It was inspiring to see how he turned those challenges into motivation to study hard, ultimately becoming a teacher and addressing the needs of young children facing similar difficulties. Moreover, I respected his father's spirit and the sacrifices he made for the family.
This biography reflects the experiences of many families who endure loss or become refugees during times of political instability. The author’s dedication to caring for animals and children is both touching and inspiring.
We can learn several moral lessons from Osvaldo's life experiences. For instance, despite lacking love in his own life, he chose to extend love to the vulnerable. His resilience and determination to learn, even when lessons were taught in a language he didn’t understand, highlight his commitment; he ultimately ensured that he learned to read and became both a teacher and a writer.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading To Kill a Cockroach, and I highly recommend this book.*
To Kill a Cockroach by Osvaldo Calixto Amador is an engaging biography that takes readers on an emotional rollercoaster. I appreciated the author’s narrative style, particularly how he shifted between first-person and third-person perspectives.
Reading about the family separation when the author’s mother took the children to another country, leaving their father behind during a political upheaval, evoked deep empathy in me. Additionally, his early childhood in a foreign land was filled with misery, especially his school experience, where he suffered violations from those who were meant to protect him and had no one to confide in.
I admired Osvaldo's resilience and his commitment to education despite the challenges he faced. It was inspiring to see how he turned those challenges into motivation to study hard, ultimately becoming a teacher and addressing the needs of young children facing similar difficulties. Moreover, I respected his father's spirit and the sacrifices he made for the family.
This biography reflects the experiences of many families who endure loss or become refugees during times of political instability. The author’s dedication to caring for animals and children is both touching and inspiring.
We can learn several moral lessons from Osvaldo's life experiences. For instance, despite lacking love in his own life, he chose to extend love to the vulnerable. His resilience and determination to learn, even when lessons were taught in a language he didn’t understand, highlight his commitment; he ultimately ensured that he learned to read and became both a teacher and a writer.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading To Kill a Cockroach, and I highly recommend this book.*
October 28, 2024
A poignant and insightful memoir
"To Kill a Cockroach" is a powerful and thought-provoking novel that sheds light on the struggles faced by homosexuals in a society that discriminates against them. Drawing inspiration from Harper Lee's "To Kill a Mockingbird," Amador delves into the theme of hatred and prejudice, portraying homosexuals as no better than cockroaches in the eyes of society.
The story follows the beautiful love story of a lesbian woman who faces numerous challenges and obstacles due to the system she lives in. The main character's perspective offers a poignant insight into the personal struggles and resilience of individuals who are marginalized and oppressed.
While the book is well-written and engaging, I found the upfront philosophy a bit overwhelming. I would rather prefer to learn about the book ideas from the story instead of reading about them as non-fiction.
Overall, "To Kill a Cockroach" is a poignant and insightful memoir that highlights the importance of acceptance, love, and resilience in the face of adversity. It is a must-read for those who appreciate thought-provoking literature that challenges societal norms.
"To Kill a Cockroach" is a powerful and thought-provoking novel that sheds light on the struggles faced by homosexuals in a society that discriminates against them. Drawing inspiration from Harper Lee's "To Kill a Mockingbird," Amador delves into the theme of hatred and prejudice, portraying homosexuals as no better than cockroaches in the eyes of society.
The story follows the beautiful love story of a lesbian woman who faces numerous challenges and obstacles due to the system she lives in. The main character's perspective offers a poignant insight into the personal struggles and resilience of individuals who are marginalized and oppressed.
While the book is well-written and engaging, I found the upfront philosophy a bit overwhelming. I would rather prefer to learn about the book ideas from the story instead of reading about them as non-fiction.
Overall, "To Kill a Cockroach" is a poignant and insightful memoir that highlights the importance of acceptance, love, and resilience in the face of adversity. It is a must-read for those who appreciate thought-provoking literature that challenges societal norms.
September 14, 2025
Inspiring
In this memoir, the author reflects on the rollercoaster that is his life. He not only describes his history in detail, but describes his feelings in such a way that the reader can easily relate.
Osvaldo speaks of childhood trauma, depression, social stigma, loneliness, and grief. However, the main theme he focuses on is love. The message is clear: survival is based on love. Love of God, love of all God's creatures, and love for oneself. You can get through anything as long as you have love.
This book is filled with words of wisdom, hope, and helpful philosophies. I found myself highlighting segments so I could go back and reread them in the future. There are so many nuggets I have taken away from this. I would need to write my own book to discuss them all.
To Kill a Cockroach shows a man' s journey of emotional survival and can be used as an inspiration for anyone in need of hope. This is also a unique read for those interested in philosophy. My words don't do it justice. You will have to read it for yourself to truly grasp the experience.
In this memoir, the author reflects on the rollercoaster that is his life. He not only describes his history in detail, but describes his feelings in such a way that the reader can easily relate.
Osvaldo speaks of childhood trauma, depression, social stigma, loneliness, and grief. However, the main theme he focuses on is love. The message is clear: survival is based on love. Love of God, love of all God's creatures, and love for oneself. You can get through anything as long as you have love.
This book is filled with words of wisdom, hope, and helpful philosophies. I found myself highlighting segments so I could go back and reread them in the future. There are so many nuggets I have taken away from this. I would need to write my own book to discuss them all.
To Kill a Cockroach shows a man' s journey of emotional survival and can be used as an inspiration for anyone in need of hope. This is also a unique read for those interested in philosophy. My words don't do it justice. You will have to read it for yourself to truly grasp the experience.
September 10, 2025
So I bought this book because of the curious title (cockroaches) and ended up staying up way too late reading and loving it. It’s not written in order, more like jumping in and out of memories, which at first felt messy but in the end it all made sense. That’s how life in real feels anyway.
There’s this part where the author talks about losing friends to AIDS and I swear it hit me so hard that I had to stop reading for a bit. Then two chapters later he’s describing his dog Toto like the most loyal, goofy little companion, and I actually smiled and became normal after that hard stuff. It’s that mix—grief and comfort—that made the book feel human.
Honestly, I had to reread some pages because I got lost, but I didn’t mind. It stuck with me. If you’ve ever been drawn to stories about identity, belonging, or just the struggle of trying to make sense of where you fit in the world, this book will give you something to hold onto.
There’s this part where the author talks about losing friends to AIDS and I swear it hit me so hard that I had to stop reading for a bit. Then two chapters later he’s describing his dog Toto like the most loyal, goofy little companion, and I actually smiled and became normal after that hard stuff. It’s that mix—grief and comfort—that made the book feel human.
Honestly, I had to reread some pages because I got lost, but I didn’t mind. It stuck with me. If you’ve ever been drawn to stories about identity, belonging, or just the struggle of trying to make sense of where you fit in the world, this book will give you something to hold onto.
September 10, 2025
"If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, repulsion is in the hands of the subjugator."
In this memoir of a gay Cuban-American, the author writes with a raw passion that conveys his messages effectively. The prose is exquisite, poetic, profound, and sophisticated. But above all, the story is authentic.
This book touched my heart and my soul. From humble beginnings, poverty, abuse, and the desperate loneliness of a young gay boy, rises a man who has found self-acceptance and unity with nature, sharing his story with a grace and majesty rarely found in modern literature.
The author acknowledges that certain life events occurred at a roll of the dice. So too, it was by pure chance that I found this book, and I'm so thankful that I was able to ride along with the author on his journey. Not only do I highly recommend this book, but I'm paying it forward by gifting it to a friend, who I know will love it as much as I did. This is a book destined to be a modern classic.
In this memoir of a gay Cuban-American, the author writes with a raw passion that conveys his messages effectively. The prose is exquisite, poetic, profound, and sophisticated. But above all, the story is authentic.
This book touched my heart and my soul. From humble beginnings, poverty, abuse, and the desperate loneliness of a young gay boy, rises a man who has found self-acceptance and unity with nature, sharing his story with a grace and majesty rarely found in modern literature.
The author acknowledges that certain life events occurred at a roll of the dice. So too, it was by pure chance that I found this book, and I'm so thankful that I was able to ride along with the author on his journey. Not only do I highly recommend this book, but I'm paying it forward by gifting it to a friend, who I know will love it as much as I did. This is a book destined to be a modern classic.
October 24, 2025
“To Kill a Cockroach” by Osvaldo Amador, a gay Cuban-American artist, is a fascinating and unusual memoir that reflects upon the author’s turbulent life experiences, including the AIDS crisis and his father’s imprisonment in Cuba. (Trigger warnings for child abuse, domestic violence, and homophobia.) Amador explains that his memoir assumes the reader is familiar with the two books that inspired and shaped him, To Kill a Mockingbird and Black Beauty, and that if they are not, they ought to be. It is hard to disagree with that. The author grew up with a strong sense of spirituality and developed a marked affinity and respect for animals, both wild and domesticated. He describes the lessons learnt from his family and while working in a Christian school. A notable quote: “The best schooling of all is to know the frailty in our humanity, our dependence on a power greater than ourselves, and that we are love in its purest form regardless of our outer forms.” This is well worth reading.
October 6, 2025
To Kill a Cockroach by Osvaldo Calixto Amador is a breathtaking memoir that weaves personal struggle with historical upheaval, creating a narrative that is both intimate and universal. Amador’s story, set against the Cuban Revolution, exile, and the AIDS epidemic, is raw and unflinching, yet it radiates hope and resilience. His reflections on discovering his sexuality and finding solace in art are profoundly moving, offering a lens into the human spirit’s capacity to endure. The connection to To Kill a Mockingbird adds a rich, symbolic depth, with the cockroach serving as a powerful metaphor for survival against all odds. Amador’s writing is lyrical and engaging, balancing pain with moments of quiet beauty. The way he ties his personal journey to broader historical and cultural contexts makes this memoir feel expansive yet deeply personal. It’s a testament to the healing power of storytelling and a must-read for anyone seeking inspiration through adversity.
May 24, 2024
A Thrilling and Unexpected Adventure
I really enjoyed this book! The story is packed with surprising twists and turns that kept me hooked from start to finish. The characters are vividly brought to life, making every scene feel real and engaging. The author's writing style is both captivating and immersive, making it hard to put the book down. It's an exciting read that offers a perfect blend of suspense and adventure.
I really enjoyed this book! The story is packed with surprising twists and turns that kept me hooked from start to finish. The characters are vividly brought to life, making every scene feel real and engaging. The author's writing style is both captivating and immersive, making it hard to put the book down. It's an exciting read that offers a perfect blend of suspense and adventure.
September 17, 2025
A Beautifully Written Reflection
"To Kill a Cockroach" captivated me with its raw honesty and poetic storytelling. Darren Eliker Osvaldo Amador's journey through identity and resilience is both moving and thought-provoking. While some pacing felt uneven, the emotional depth makes it a worthwhile read.
"To Kill a Cockroach" captivated me with its raw honesty and poetic storytelling. Darren Eliker Osvaldo Amador's journey through identity and resilience is both moving and thought-provoking. While some pacing felt uneven, the emotional depth makes it a worthwhile read.
April 20, 2024
A captivating work that delves deeply into the complexities and nuances of the LGBT experience. The author skillfully weaves a narrative that not only celebrates diversity but also explores the challenges and triumphs faced by the LGBT community
April 20, 2024
LOVED THIS BOOK. Thank you Osvaldito for this peek into your life. This is one mans difficult journey growing up gay in Miami in the 70s and 80s. A story of resilience and fortitude , and determination to be heard and respected. Thank you for this gift. MJR
October 5, 2024
Engaging and meaningful
To Kill a Cockroach is a well-written and engaging memoir that showcases personal struggle and deep life lessons. I was inspired by the power of art and resilience in the face of hardship. Hard to put this book down, it's so good!
To Kill a Cockroach is a well-written and engaging memoir that showcases personal struggle and deep life lessons. I was inspired by the power of art and resilience in the face of hardship. Hard to put this book down, it's so good!
March 15, 2024
As a gay man I was able to relate to this book, it was a great read, enjoyed it tremendously .
April 20, 2024
Been also a member of the LGTBQ+ community i can relate to this book and the author. Very good book and something many people can relate to.
April 20, 2024
Amidst the tragedy the comedic timing is brilliant!
April 23, 2024
From the beginning, this book brings you into the story. It’s very touching and inspiring, I highly recommend this book.
July 28, 2024
Pulitzer
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