Breaking the Spell : My Life As a Rajneeshee and the Long Journey Back to Freedom

by Jane Stork

Breaking the Spell is Jane Stork's extraordinary life story. Equally moving and disturbing, it chronicles the rise and fall of the religion Rajneeshism and the Rolls Royce guru, and Jane's part in the events that led to its collapse.Growing up in post-war Western Australia, Jane Stork had a conventional Catholic upbringing, and married her university sweetheart at age 21. Embarking on the familiar path of marriage and raising children, Jane's semblance of a normal life began to unravel as she entered her thirties. She sought answers at a meditation centre, and quickly became devoted to the Indian guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, changing her name, adopting the orange robes of a sannyasin , and uprooting her family to live first in an ashram in India and then in the Bhagwan-created city of Rajneeshpuram in Oregon, USA. For Jane, what started out as a journey seeking spiritual enlightenment began to descend into darkness as she sacrificed her marriage and children, and eventually – through a monstrous act of attempted murder – her freedom.After serving time in the US, Jane started a new life in Germany, but soon realised she could never truly be free until she had faced up to the past. With an international arrest warrant hanging over her head, and a son who is gravely ill, Jane finally does so with devastating clarity.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Memoir, Cults, Religion, Historical

368 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

Reviews

[Diane in Australia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting book about an Australian woman who became a follower of the Indian guru, Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh (who later renamed himself 'Osho'). If you like reading about the dynamics of being in a cult, and getting out, you'd probably like this book.

4 Stars = Outstanding. It definitely held my interest.

(My apologies for such a short review. I'm struggling with a few things, at the moment, and just can't seem to find the presence of mind to write longer reviews.)

[Michael Perkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

This author appears throughout the Netflix film "Wild, Wild Country." This book promises to give a full assessment of what happened from someone who was there and remained devoted until the end.

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from the author's Prologue.....

"I happily handed over my freedom to someone else. In doing so, I entered into a prison of my own making in which I was both guard and prisoner and all the while the deception was so complete that I thought myself to be an independent and free individual making wise decisions for myself and my family, and for the good of mankind."

==============

"The ashram was in the middle of Pune suburbia in India. A high fence ran around the boundary. The rickshaw driver took us to the front gate. After Mumbai and the trip through Pune, walking into the ashram was like walking into a church. There was no clamouring and pushing and haste. Men and women in long orange robes moved around quietly. They were almost all Europeans....A blonde woman, from Holland, who spoke English, gave us guidance. There were no tourists. Most of the Ashram was closed to visitors.....Outside I was truly on the outside, a white-skinned interloper with not the slightest understanding of Indian culture, local customs or language."

===============

"Bhagwan stepped through the door. He walked slowly, almost floating, as though his feet did not touch the ground. His long grey beard wafted in the gentle breeze created by his forward movement. His liquid eyes shone and he smiled faintly. He approached the chair and sat down, an apparition in white. I was light-headed and overcome with emotion. I pressed my hands, still joined in greeting, to my lips and cried silent tears of joy. I no longer remember what he said, or whether he spoke Hindi or English. It didn’t matter. I was there, sitting at his feet."

============

In an attempt to explain the power of the guru over the members, one specialist offers this account....

"Hilly Zeitlin, a clinical social worker who was co-director of Options for Personal Transition in Berkeley, an organization dealing with cult involvement and related religious issues, said that Rajneesh had made a study of techniques of hypnotic induction used by cults. He believed Rajneesh to be a “one of the best hypnotists I have ever encountered. The way he uses language, his tone of voice, the way he sequences ideas ... all are essentially hypnotic.” He added, “the art of hypnosis is the art of being vague, while pretending you are being profound.”

The author describes Primal Group.....

"By far the most powerful and disturbing exercise for me was when we were lined up opposite each other and told to express anger to the person in front of us. It was a few days into the group and I was beginning to lose my control over things I would normally have kept hidden. Some might say I was beginning to let go. Everybody started shouting. Every so often the group leaders would move people in the rows so they stood opposite a different person. Suddenly Roger [her husband] was standing in front of me. A torrent of unexpressed anger and resentment exploded out of me with a force that nearly knocked us both off our feet. I screamed abuse at him for the things he had done and for the things he had not done, raging at his shortcomings and weaknesses, and pouring venom on his manhood....

....The groups and catharsis Roger and I had done seemed to have had little to do with everyday life and we still remained deeply unaware of the unconscious forces that produced the dysfunctional dynamic in our relationship. Nothing had changed and we maintained our pattern of keeping silent about our hopes and fears and the things that really mattered to us."

Families were broken up and the children separated from their parents. Bhagwan was hostile to children. They were all housed in a kids' "hut." Any women who got pregnant were required to get an abortion. Men and women alike had to submit to sterilization, including women who had never had children.

When the Ashram moved to Oregon, Sheelah became the new hands-on "secretary." Bhagwan had gone silent and lived in seclusion. Sheelah met with him every day and claimed to be his exclusive channel for instructions to the members. Soon, she took on an aura of authority that Bhagwan had.

People in the Oregon commune were made to work 7 days a week, 1o hours a day. Meanwhile, based on Sheelah's conveyances from Bhagram, the guru began to blackmail the members, saying if they did not donate their life savings and help with fundraising, he would "close his eyes and disappear." This was the greatest threat to his devotees.

Bhagram became openly materialistic, developing an obsession with collecting Rolls Royce cars (+90 at last count) and expensive jewelry. Instead of the white robe her wore in India, he had expensive robes made, of the finest materials, and did not wear any one of them more than once.

According to the author, this what the layout of the commune....

"By the third Master’s Day celebration the city of Rajneeshpuram boasted a two-acre Buddha Hall, a lively down-town with shops and restaurants, a large dam where people could swim, an airport with daily flights to Portland, a fleet of buses to transport people within the city itself, hotels and A-frame cabins, a newspaper and a casino."

Growing opposition from Oregon residents created a common enemy for the commune to rally against. Sheelah became more aggressive in leading the charge. Eventually the commune became an armed compound, with underground bunkers, security guards and a watchtower. Bhagram began to talk of Armageddon. What prevented it from becoming another Waco, TX, was Bhagram suddenly taking flight one day on a Lear Jet.

So, a question remains, why did this author get mixed up in it in the first place?

"I believe our extreme degree of commitment [to the cult] at the time was indicative of and in direct proportion to our inability to cope with our problems. Rather than acknowledge them and face them, we ran away, as children often do, in the mistaken belief that if we were to run far enough and destroy the bridges behind us, we could escape them, and they would not be able to follow us. For in truth, we were children, not coping with the realities of life, running back to the safety of Big Daddy."

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What the documentary “Wild, Wild Country” doesn’t capture about the Rajneesh cult.....

https://newrepublic.com/article/14765...

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Many may not know, or have forgotten, is that what Jim Jones founded was a leftist, utopian commune modeled after "Father Divine," who was successful in doing so in Harlem. Unlike the Oregon commune, Divine developed significant political clout, as did Jones.

https://believermag.com/the-divine-in...

Jones consistently supported liberal politicians in SF and CA, and even engaged in voter fraud to help them get elected....

https://www.nytimes.com/1978/12/17/ar...

[Layla Wolfe · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bought this because my mother is a Rajneeshee. I was glad that I started it at the part where her and her husband join up because her childhood story bored my sister, who never got past that part. This book is just loaded with insider information and I couldn't put it down. Reinforced my belief that this cult is damaging and whacked. I'm glad Ms Stork got out in time. Some people haven't.

[Becky - Pug and Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

Breaking the Spell: My Life as a Rajneeshee, and the Long Journey Back to Freedom by Jane Stork

Star Rating: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

Format: library paperback

Summary: Written by a former member of the Rajneeshee cult, this memoir covers what led the author to join the cult, her time within it and how she finally left.

Review: Wow. I'd watched the Netflix documentary "Wild, Wild, Country" about the Rajneeshees and Jane was one of the people that took part of that, I was struck by her story and was very excited to learn shed written a memoir. You always think hearing about cults like "that's insane there's no way I could ever fall for that" but people do get wrapped up in these things and I think Jane's story really highlights how that's possible.

Her story is very emotional and she is very good at story-telling. She starts at her birth and tells about her childhood and her adult life prior to the cult. She was raised as a Catholic and found the church to be oppressive and overwhelming. Her marriage wasn't turning out the way she had hoped and she felt unprepared to be a wife and mother.

The indoctrination into the cult is slow at first, but Jane finds herself giving up bits and pieces of her old life. She does have misgivings but she pushes them aside because she assumes that Bhagwan knows better than she. She gives up her name, her old clothes, home, her money and even her family. She becomes so focused on her new faith that she can't see anything else.

What I like is Jane admits her negligence and everything she was involved with. When she becomes involved in murdering people against the cult she makes herself believe that it happened differently. It's only after many years outside the cult that she can come to terms with her own actions and the truth of them.

I really enjoyed this book, it's moving and very interesting. Jane Stork is a natural storyteller and keeps the reader engaged.

Recommendation: If you're looking for something to read after Wild, Wild, Country-- this is the book you need to pick up.

[Dawn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is about what happens when you hand over your personal power to a religious organisation. In particular it follows Jane's life under the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh (the orange people). It takes a long time for her to accept that following the group without question can lead to some very dark places.

[ZieriaRose · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book, and the honest, matter of fact way it was written. Jane Stork is articulate, her writing straightforward and unpretentious, and the story is completely compelling. It is a memoir and an exploration of events that are stranger than fiction; and it gets more and more weird as it goes along.

The big question: How could someone from such a ‘normal’ down-to-earth Aussie family become so completely transfixed by Bhagwan Rajneesh, so misguided in their judgement and thinking as to lose themself? Known later as the Rolls Royce Guru, Bhagwan’s charisma outshone his narcissism, greed and manipulation. Some critics claim he was an expert in hypnotism! In their thousands the ‘Sannyasins’, who became known as the Orange People, were charmed by Bhagwan's spell, and they renounced everything to follow their guru in the hope of spiritual guidance and enlightenment. This included Jane Stork and her husband, and her kids.

Stork herself must have asked these how and why questions when the spell was finally broken, and she began to write this book. At the time of the attempted murder of Bhagwan’s doctor, Jane was in such a focused denial of reality she hardly seemed to realise what she was doing, or at least trying to do. It was simple for her, an act in defence of Bhagwan, who to her was more or less a god, and one she would willingly die for. Those simple quiet words ring in my ears “I’ll do it…”.

After fleeing the commune and then being arrested for attempted murder she gradually came to see a different reality, one that existed outside the commune, and was forced to face the consequences of her actions. With grace and lucidity Jane has managed to unravel what had happened under that spell, without being over-judgemental of either herself or the others involved. But I don’t think she has ever tried to cultivate the victim image; in fact I admire her for facing her past, her choices and their consequences, and owning it all. She relates the events in the commune with insight, but also with compassion. She also admits having neglected her children during those years living in the commune, and acknowledged their suffering with honest remorse. She admitted her failings as a parent and a wife, and even as a daughter. But for me, once seen in the context of the Rajneesh cult and its power, it was easy to forgive her all these failings as she sought answers to life’s deep questions, believing she had found those answers in Bhagwan.

Stork’s account of her childhood and early adult life were an important part of the telling of this crazy story; it goes some way to explaining how and why she became caught in the Rajneesh enchantment. But at no time does she use her childhood to excuse her part in the unfolding events. The background stories of Jane’s early life and family tell of a fairly typical Aussie family from those times; holidays with the grandparents, fishing with their father, finding threepences in the Xmas pudding. It seemed clear her family loved her.

There was illness too, which put much pressure on the family. Jane herself became very ill and nearly died; her grandmother subsequently gave her a teddy bear that she treasured. When her sister became seriously ill with TB meningitis Jane was sent to live with an aunt while her parents kept vigil at the hospital at her sister’s bedside. Later she was sent to a horrible Catholic boarding school. Jane felt somehow unloved and rejected by her parents. Her mistaken belief that her family didn’t want her was the likely start of the path that ultimately led Jane to the Rajneesh Movement. Decades later she recognised that her parents had always loved her and had only made those difficult choices due to circumstances beyond their control. They never gave up on her despite her almost complete rejection of them when she was blinded by her devotion and obsession with Bhagwan.

I really enjoyed the stories of the early days of Jane’s first marriage. Roger, her first husband, was a geologist, and the father of their children. They spent months together in the middle of nowhere in Western Australia doing geological surveys, and meeting the local indigenous people, even joining in on a crocodile hunt; it must have been fascinating and wonderful! These stories made even more poignant one of the saddest parts of the book, when Jane gave away her wedding ring to Bhagwan, which was then melted down to make more valuable jewellery for this guru already dripping with gold and living in luxury. How could she not see!! The Guru had 96 Rolls Royces, watches and pens worth millions, and valuable jewellery. Spiritualism infused with hedonism? Downright immoral. Jane’s husband Roger had sourced the metal for the wedding ring himself and had the ring made specially. That she gave the ring away so easily seemed callous and naïve and was testimony to how deeply brainwashed she had become.

A second really touching episode was when Jane finally admitted to her second (or third?) husband George that she’d tried to kill Bhagwan’s doctor. George had been very patient and listened without judgement. He told her that he had already known; clearly he had already forgiven. And it had not altered his devotion to her. What a wonderful accepting man.

The last and terrible sadness for Jane, and for us as readers, was her loss of her son who died of cancer. As a parent myself I found this section terribly moving and I wanted to reach out to Jane and tell her… tell her what exactly? Maybe that I admired her strength, I walk with her as a parent of an ill child, and as a flawed human, and that she is obviously a good person and has well and truly earned her freedom and forgiveness. She has served her time on many levels.

And I really liked the book!

(This bit is not really relevant to the book review. My husband and I had a German Sannyasin staying with us for a few weeks in the late 80s, just before Bhagwan’s death. We didn’t know the person; it was a favour for a friend. Our Sannyasin lodger was pretty strange to say the least. She took her meals alone in our spare room and hardly socialised with us, except to talk about Bhagwan and how worried she was about him. Because of this I was interested to watch Wild Wild Country, a Netflix documentary about the establishment of Rajneeshpuram in the USA and the events that led to its collapse. The documentary featured Jane Stork speaking frankly and eloquently about her involvement in the cult and the attempted murder of Bhagwan’s doctor, and her final extrication from the Rajneesh movement. After being glued to the documentary I then read Jane’s book. A friend who had also watched the documentary, but had never heard of the Orange People, said she had to keep looking stuff up on the internet to see if it were really true! That’s how weird it gets. Many people still believe that Bhagwan was enlightened but I have my doubts. I’d like to know what Jane thinks about it now.)

[Zahraa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Honest memoir, confronting. Perhaps people were a tad more naive at the time she joined the cult and without the benefit of the internet for quick research, were more easily brainwashed? Ofcourse the net can also be used for manifest negative ideas and assist in brainwashing - but it can also provide an opportunity to make more informed decisions.

[Christine Sumption · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got interested in this book after watching Wild Country on Netflix, an eye-opening documentary about Rajneeshpuram. Jane’s story is compelling, in part as a way of seeing the commune from a participant’s perspective and in part as a way of seeing how one slips into following a charismatic leader. And the cost of doing so.

[Tracy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A devastating true story of a family who choose to follow & support Guru Bagwhan, sacrificing the happiness and normality of their family unit to a guru who has only his best interest at heart!

[Crystal M · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a book about a cult who call themselves rajneeshee’s. It started in India but was world wide by its end. It encouraged communal living, swinging, living with room mates meaning even families living separately, sterilization instead of birth control and unprotected sex among other strange things. As a result the woman telling her story had her marriage ruined by swinging, her children were neglected by her and their father because they didn’t live with them -at times they didn’t even live on the same continents- and both her son and daughter were sexually abused while in the cult. The sexual abuse of her son resulted in him catching herpes which lead to his death in his 40’s and was extremely sad. I cried for a good 20 minutes reading the part where he dies. She even gets herself involved in an international conspiracy to commit murder and serves years in jail and faces trials in multiple countries/continents. It was an interesting read with a very sad ending. Every shitty thing that happened to her, her husband and her children were all a result of her decision to join the cult and involve her family. Her whole shitty life could have been avoided had she simply not joined this cult -as is the situation with most cult survivors- but this woman’s son literally died a very prolonged and painful death at a young age because of her actions, neglect, and utter lack of parental concern for her offspring. The author is not a likeable woman. There are a few documentaries on this cult if any one is interested, I will be checking them out soon. On Netflix there are 2 one called wild wild country and searching for sheela. A third can be found on YouTube called Guru: Bhagwan, his secretary and his bodyguard.

[Mary Erickson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Whittling down my TBR pile. I bought this memoir after watching the Netflix mini-series, Wild Wild Country, about the Rajneeshee cult in India which moved to Oregon, causing mayhem.

Jane Stork's memoir is interesting and heartbreaking, but the last third bogged down in legal details and a horrifically long account of her son's death by cancer. I guess she needed to tell that story because the desire to go be with him in Australia was thwarted by international warrants for her arrest (she was secure as long as she stayed in Germany), ..and therefore was the motivation to finally return to the US to plead for mercy--which was granted.

Because yes, she had indeed participated in a conspiracy to kill an elected official, and she had actually attempted the murder of the guru's doctor (in order to thwart the doctor from helping the guru commit suicide)--she served two years in prison for the latter crime.

Equally egregiously, while still in the cult in India, she and her husband turned over their children to communal living. Both were sexually abused by other cult members.

I wish at the end, instead of a cathartic walk in the woods to mourn her son, we had had a much clearer denunciation of how evil the cult and its leader had been. But I suppose all memoirs are self-serving in some way. This one did seem like a long apologetic and a plea for understanding of why she did what she did.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fascinating story of one woman’s life in the Rajneesh cult—and her life before and after it. I already knew the basics of this story from watching Wild, Wild Country, but I was eager to learn more about Jane’s life, and I’m glad I read this book.

I find the psychology of cults—and what can lead people to fall prey to them—endlessly interesting. Jane has clearly done a lot of self-examination and introspection since her time with the Rajneesh, and her explorations of what drove her to the cult and what pushed her to such an intense level of devotion were compelling to read.

While I do wish she had devoted more time to explaining the routines of her daily life in the cult, I still enjoyed reading Jane’s perspective. The ending of this book literally moved me to tears. This woman has had such a challenging life, and I’m glad she shared this story.

[Lyn Ryan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting companion piece to the excellent doco Wild, Wild Country. I read this book after listening to an interview with the author. I remember wondering just how much remorse she felt about her crimes (which included attempted murder). However after recently watching the documentary, I have a slightly more sympathetic view of her behaviour.

[Lisa Kleinert · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading the India and Oregon chapters, as well as the first half of Germany, but the beginning and end didn't really do much for me. That is probably because I was looking to learn about Rajneesh commune living, so I was not her target audience on those other chapters.

I'm a Librarian, and will recommend this book to Library patrons!

[Anke Brady · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting

After seeing the documentary” wild wild country” I was impressed by Jane Stork’s telling of her side of the story and the book goes into a lot more detail how she came to walk this path and through many extremely painful experiences came to understand herself and her motivations. I admire her honesty.

[Bryana Wilkins · Rating 3 out of 5]

Was interested due to case behind this book. Though i knew this was biographie of the author life, i was just anticipating when raj would be mentioned which is not till more than halfway through the book and that’s when my interest picked up. Her backstory is obviously important as to why she joined and gives insight but it could’ve been shorter.

[Beth Glicker · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this after watching the documentary "Wild Wild Country". She wrote of her childhood and early marraige in Australia. It certainly helped fill out some details to help understand why she did what she did.

[Jasmin Chua · Rating 4 out of 5]

Stork is a honest, clear-eyed, and masterful storyteller. An incredibly moving account of her life before, during, and after Rajneeshpuram.

[Lindsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heard about this book when I was doing research on Rajneesh after watching Wild Wild Country. This is a very moving biography and made a vivid impression on me.

[Maria Kelo · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting lifestory, well written, making it easy to identify with the person and her life story. Not scandalistic, not ecessive.

[Celestin Büche · Rating 4 out of 5]

A bit long in the beginning and at the end but overall a worthwhile read.

[Jillian · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Margaret Terrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

A captivating story!

[Uday Malya · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well written. Gives a life account of the author. A good read which makes you wonder at the things people can do when they come under the influence of a cult which they believe in.

[Carol Tensen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Years ago when I was working in a small ad agency, we had a maroon-clad freelancer for a short time. Pleasant enough fellow. We got to talking and ended up having dinner after work. He invited me to have a bubble bath with him. Something didn't come to fruition. I filed the evening under “Oh, brother!” and essentially washed him out of my mind. Hadn’t thought of him in ages until the DuPlass brothers’ six-part documentary “Wild, Wild West” came out in Netflix.

Of all the people being interviewed Shanti B. intriqued me the most, and so I had to read her memoir. The early biographical part does provides the background that explains her vulnerability, but moves a bit slowly with much detail. However, the second and third parts are heartfelt and fascinating and make this well worth the read.

Without summarizing the book, let me fill you in on what the DuPlasses left out:

Bhagwan was extremely controlling - we all got that. He had little regard for the people around him. He hit one of his attractive followers in the face with a sandal. When she become depressed, “he advised her to end her life.” In order for Sheela, his secretary, to do his exhausting bidding, he was okay with her using stimulants and uppers. He instructed Jane and Roger to get divorces to enable his immigration fraud. One of the women in the cult got pregnant, and she was told to get an abortion and then get sterilized. In fact, many of the women in the compound went through sterilization procedures, including Stork. With no babies coming out of such a large community, the townspeople circulated a rumor that the Rajneeshis were eating their babies. But as Bhagwan told everyone, he was the enlighted one and “if ten thousand people had to die in order to protect him, so be it.”

Jane and Roger’s children were sorely neglected, both in Pune and Oregon. She writes of combing lice out of their hair and how they were marginally cared for by the community as Stork worked and attended religious activities. She later claims her spiritual seeking had inflicted harm on them. This harm went beyond their spotty education and lack of supervision. At one point, it was decided that since her daughter Kylie's teeth were so crowded that Bhagwan's dentist needed to pull some out. Unfortunately, he yanked out her eye teeth - something most dentists would never think of doing (bicuspids are the usual teeth removed for this situation). More drastic - one of her friends decided to get sterilized and Kylie went ahead and joined her. Who sterilizes 17-year-olds?? Both she and her brother Peter were sexually preyed upon by other sannyasins. One evening Bhagwan recounted an anecdote about a 16-year-old boy being pursued by an older woman - much to everyone's amusement. Stork was in the audience realized that he was talking about her son Peter, who by way, got herpes as result. Equally galling, a man in his thirties had a fling with Kylie when she was thirteen years old. Stork retreated into the thought that her faith was being tested. Speaking of sex: I remember Sheela telling an interviewer that there was no veneral disease in Rajneeshpuram. Stork claims that 87% of the sannyasins had one kind of STD or another.

In the Black Forest, she recalls reading about the holocaust and thinking to herself of how she, herself, would have helped save the people being persecuted. Then she stops herself and remembers that she blindly followed someone who she thought was the savior of mankind, someone who divided the world into us and them, someone for whom she was willing to commit heinous crimes. She writes, "What an arrogant child I was to think I could cast off my European/Christian heritage and replace it with a completely different culture. Understanding neither and trying to replace one with the other were costly mistakes. Only now was I beginning to get to get a hint of the extent of the damage that had been done." This could be an effective cautionary tale. Unfortunately, this sort of this never reaches the audience who really needs it.

[Laina · Rating 4 out of 5]

2022 Book #1

I first watched the Netflix series Wild Wild Country about a year ago. Jane Stork, a former devotee from Australia, was interviewed throughout the series. She came across as a very articulate, apologetic, and emotionally stable individual. Accompanied by her interview segments in the series were animated drawings as if from a graphic novel. From these animations, I assumed she had written a book of her experiences from which the drawings were originally produced. So right after I finished the series, I found and ordered her book, Breaking the Spell. There were no illustrations in the book and the first 20-25% of the book was her childhood and young adulthood in Australia, which was a little slow going. I wasn't expecting a full autobiography but a memoir of her time as a Rajneeshee, but it seemed Jane was writing this book for herself as therapy and if anyone else read it and she happened to make a small profit from it, then great. I started reading this in 2021 and probably got about 30 or 40 pages in, got a little bored and life happened and didn't get back to it until 2022. I had patience with the childhood, which did help set the stage for her Rajneeshee recruitment, and once the book got to the "good stuff" of joining what later turned into a cult in Pune, India and following the guru to Oregon was fascinating and I couldn't put it down and finished the book in 2 days after I restarted it. The beginning and end are a little slow but important and I'm glad Jane is now in a good place and happy she wrote this book. This book inspired me to take a much deeper dive into cults of the new religious movement and psychotherapy methods that came out of the 50s, 60s and 70s. I next read the Rajneespuram and Starting Over chapters of Frances Fitzgerald's Cities on a Hill which I also highly recommend.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an older book from the 70s I think. I picked it up in a second hand shop. It's Australian. It was sad reading a women could give up everything & everyone important to her for religion. But this book shows you how Jane was brainwashed and easily left everything behind. Until finely sense started to prevail. A bit on the late side but relationships were mended. Time in prision shared by some. Time spent in a couple of countrys, not by choice. Some beautiful new realtionships were made for a happy ending. It really could have ended very differently. I quite enjoyed this book.

[Ingrid Walker · Rating 4 out of 5]

After seeing the Documentary Wild Wild Country I was curious to read more - and Jane's book did not disappoint. It was a little boring in the beginning one third - much detail, but the later two thirds were so interesting that I could not wait to read more

It is fascinating how a charismatic guru can capture one's mind, so much so that one is prepared to die or commit bad acts for the cause. Always the same formula - the goodies against the baddies - us and them - that gets the followers fired up

The twists and turns of Jane's life are fascinating - it is quite a love story too

[Maggie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Documents the power of denial, especially when coupled with some insatiable need. Hard to fathom how people can so easily give up their autonomy when so eager to believe. And yet history is filled with this very human type of behaviour, some incidents more devastating than others.

[Jennifer Goerling · Rating 3 out of 5]

Tale of Janes life and discovery of the Rajneeshi cult, i found it a sad story and at times very hard to fathom, as to why she ended up involved with such a fanatical group..