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Under Siege
Belinda Neil lived and breathed her job. She loved her roles as a homicide investigator and hostage negotiator with the NSW police force, but she never knew what her work day might bring. She might be investigating a crime scene; talking a suicidal woman down from a cliff; or trying to convince a deranged man not to slit the throat of his wife and children.
As a negotiator, Belinda often found herself on cliff edges, waiting in doorways or out amongst the elements, persuading the murderous and suicidal to drop their weapons, stop terrorising their families, step back from the ledge.
Belinda was so physically slight she needed help lifting on her ballistics vest, but her team never doubted her physical or mental courage. She was put forward for a bravery award and promoted to inspector but every time she stepped into a negotiation, her life was in danger, and over time the horrors she saw and her punishing schedule began to take their toll. After years of broken sleep, traumatic crime scenes and death, a series of disastrous events one weekend brought everything to a head.
The next morning when she awoke, Belinda found she was shaking so badly she could not get out of bed. Unsure what was happening to her, she sought counselling but one day, shortly after, she saw the name of an old hostage-taking adversary in the paper; he had killed his ex-girlfriend. It was too much and as the continued stress took its toll, Belinda found herself contemplating jumping off a cliff in the Moreton Bay National Park. She had even written the suicide note.
Under Siege shows us the remarkable job homicide investigators and hostage negotiators perform, and their endurance and courage in impossible circumstances. More than that, this courageous memoir reveals how the daily trauma and stress affected Belinda's roles as wife and mother, how she fought against the terrifying post-traumatic stress disorder that resulted to come back from a very dark place.
'Her extraordinary journey juggling the roles of police negotiator, homicide investigator, wife and mother shines a light on this little-understood limb of law enforcement.' Mark Whittaker, Fairfax newspapers
As a negotiator, Belinda often found herself on cliff edges, waiting in doorways or out amongst the elements, persuading the murderous and suicidal to drop their weapons, stop terrorising their families, step back from the ledge.
Belinda was so physically slight she needed help lifting on her ballistics vest, but her team never doubted her physical or mental courage. She was put forward for a bravery award and promoted to inspector but every time she stepped into a negotiation, her life was in danger, and over time the horrors she saw and her punishing schedule began to take their toll. After years of broken sleep, traumatic crime scenes and death, a series of disastrous events one weekend brought everything to a head.
The next morning when she awoke, Belinda found she was shaking so badly she could not get out of bed. Unsure what was happening to her, she sought counselling but one day, shortly after, she saw the name of an old hostage-taking adversary in the paper; he had killed his ex-girlfriend. It was too much and as the continued stress took its toll, Belinda found herself contemplating jumping off a cliff in the Moreton Bay National Park. She had even written the suicide note.
Under Siege shows us the remarkable job homicide investigators and hostage negotiators perform, and their endurance and courage in impossible circumstances. More than that, this courageous memoir reveals how the daily trauma and stress affected Belinda's roles as wife and mother, how she fought against the terrifying post-traumatic stress disorder that resulted to come back from a very dark place.
'Her extraordinary journey juggling the roles of police negotiator, homicide investigator, wife and mother shines a light on this little-understood limb of law enforcement.' Mark Whittaker, Fairfax newspapers
- GenresTrue CrimeCrimeBiography
288 pages, Paperback
First published July 1, 2014
7 people are currently reading
196 people want to read
About the author
Belinda Neil
1 book7 followersBelinda Neil joined the NSW Police in 1987 and over an eighteen-year career worked as an undercover operative, and as a major crime squad detective investigating illicit drug operations, organised crime, and homicide. Belinda was also a police hostage negotiator and trained at the counter terrorist level, leading one of five Counter Terrorist Negotiation Teams at the Sydney 2000 Olympics.
After being promoted to the rank of Inspector in 2002, she retired in 2005 due to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, as a result of the many traumatic incidents she had been to. Belinda is passionate about raising awareness of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, especially after having learnt so much through research and therapy.
After being promoted to the rank of Inspector in 2002, she retired in 2005 due to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, as a result of the many traumatic incidents she had been to. Belinda is passionate about raising awareness of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, especially after having learnt so much through research and therapy.
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
January 24, 2019
Under Siege is the true story of Belinda Neil and her life has NSW law enforcement officer, hostage negotiator, wife and mother over eighteen years. The Readers of Under Siege will continue to read about Belinda Neil and the consequence her distinguished career had on her health and the people around her.
Under Siege is the first book I have read of Belinda Neil and I did enjoy reading this book. Under Siege highlights for me, the problems and consequence law enforcement officers go through to protect their communities. Belinda Neil does a fantastic job in Under Siege to bring awareness to her readers the devastation of trauma has on law enforcement officers. Under Siege is well written and researched by Belinda Neil.
The readers of Under Siege will learn about PTSD and how it affects the sufferers and the different treatment procedures you can find to help suffers. Also, the readers of Under Siege will learn about the role that law enforcement negotiators have during hostage negotiations. Under Siege also highlights the policies and procedures of being a law enforcement officer in New South Wales Police Force.
I recommend this book.
Under Siege is the first book I have read of Belinda Neil and I did enjoy reading this book. Under Siege highlights for me, the problems and consequence law enforcement officers go through to protect their communities. Belinda Neil does a fantastic job in Under Siege to bring awareness to her readers the devastation of trauma has on law enforcement officers. Under Siege is well written and researched by Belinda Neil.
The readers of Under Siege will learn about PTSD and how it affects the sufferers and the different treatment procedures you can find to help suffers. Also, the readers of Under Siege will learn about the role that law enforcement negotiators have during hostage negotiations. Under Siege also highlights the policies and procedures of being a law enforcement officer in New South Wales Police Force.
I recommend this book.
April 26, 2020
I’ve been fascinated in the profiling, forensics, homicide investigation and hostage negotiation side of policing for years, ever since watching shows such as, Halifax f.p., City Homicide, Bones, CSI, NCIS and Criminal Minds therefore listening to Under Siege for me was absolutely fascinating and did not take me long to listen to, couldn’t put it down so to speak.
Rebecca Macauley, again, was exceptional in her narration and related the story of Belinda Neil’s life as a homicide investigator and hostage negotiator remarkably well.
I enjoyed the end note on PTSD read by the author herself which I found incredibly helpful as I have a very close friend who suffers from this mental health disorder.
Riveting from start to finish.
Rebecca Macauley, again, was exceptional in her narration and related the story of Belinda Neil’s life as a homicide investigator and hostage negotiator remarkably well.
I enjoyed the end note on PTSD read by the author herself which I found incredibly helpful as I have a very close friend who suffers from this mental health disorder.
Riveting from start to finish.
January 9, 2016
I occasionally dip into real life crime. (Sins of My Brother, Milat by Clive Small & Where is Daniel?) Under Siege fits into this category but it is also a review of the illness known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I teach refugee students and one of my students suffers from PTS so I could identify with many of the aspects that Ms Neil mentions in her book.
Belinda Neil openly describes her early life and her move into the police service. She discusses incidents in her early years of policing. Later she is involved in some very serious crimes which attracted media attention. I have read elsewhere how the investigating officers develop close relationships with the families of the victims of violent crime. Usually men against women!
The writing is fluent and easy to read. Parts of the book become enthralling.
The questions the reader must ask is, “How can people in similar circumstances defend against PTSD? How can organisations protect their employees against the development of this debilitating illness.
Recommended.
Belinda Neil openly describes her early life and her move into the police service. She discusses incidents in her early years of policing. Later she is involved in some very serious crimes which attracted media attention. I have read elsewhere how the investigating officers develop close relationships with the families of the victims of violent crime. Usually men against women!
The writing is fluent and easy to read. Parts of the book become enthralling.
The questions the reader must ask is, “How can people in similar circumstances defend against PTSD? How can organisations protect their employees against the development of this debilitating illness.
Recommended.
June 19, 2014
An incredible insight into the world of a police officer, this book comes together a little strange. I felt it jumped all over the place in regards to events. It was like listening to someone's jumbled thought process. I found this mildly annoying, but it also provided further insight to the mind of someone suffering from PTSD.
I simply devoured this book from start to finish. It read like an easy chick-lit, yet sometimes I had to put it down as I remembered that all the events were true. I was happy to see a few science-y chapters near the end that described more about PTSD. I felt I took a lot away from this book. Well worth the read.
I simply devoured this book from start to finish. It read like an easy chick-lit, yet sometimes I had to put it down as I remembered that all the events were true. I was happy to see a few science-y chapters near the end that described more about PTSD. I felt I took a lot away from this book. Well worth the read.
August 20, 2017
Took me a wee while to read this which is probably the reason I only gave it a 3 star, as I sort of lost a bit of continuity. However, it was an interesting read and these police officers are certainly amazing people! The situations they find themselves in and the sights they see must be truly unbearable at times and I am not surprised many of them end up with PTSD. I'm sad that Belinda lost her great career but hope she can now enjoy her children and a life without trauma, though I dare say her experiences will always be with her to some degree. Found the chapters on her treatment very interesting. I hope readers get a lot from this book - recognise in themselves when they need to ask for help etc. and that employers such as the police force do all they can to help their staff.
May 26, 2025
Having met Belinda through our daughters many years ago, and wanting to understand more about PTSD, this book had been on my radar for a while. I finally read it and it did not disappoint. This book gives the reader valuable insights into life as a police officer and respect for those who do the job (not me!). I certainly hope things have improved to protect police from PTSD, but I suspect there’s still a long way to go….
December 29, 2020
A compelling story about an amazing Police Officers journey through events leading up to and including her treatment of PTSD. I truly commend this woman and can only hope that her story has assisted the Police Force to reduce the mental strain and injuries sustained in the line of duty.
October 24, 2023
I found this book to be an interesting read
June 1, 2025
🎧3.5 stars. Had to skip a lot of crime scene descriptions as they were so graphic and detailed. Was good to hear the author’s voice in the epilogue/afterword.
November 6, 2014
This memoir was gritty, haunting, disturbing and made me cry in places but that's exactly what it needed to be. In her line of work as a police officer Belinda Neil has been witness to horrific crimes. She wasn't even spared of horror on the first day on the job. As someone who has family and friends who are on the Force this gave me a whole new level of respect for them. I always knew it was a tough job with horrible sites to witness but this book took me a step closer to just how mentally tough our police force has to be. I'm glad it only took me a step closer and that I will never have to fully feel the unspeakable horror of seeing a triple homicide. And I'm grateful for our men and women in Blue who are assaulted with this daily so that I can live a safer life.
On a personal note I found it quite interesting how after child birth her symptoms became over powering. Through my own dealings with PND, psychiatric hospital and managing my Facebook for mentally complex women I have found that past trauma always comes flooding back after child birth and that PND does not happen in a vacuum. Although Belinda Neil has PTSD I believe that women with PND would get a lot out of this book.
Reading this book reminded me of Walter Mason's "Inspirational Conversation" P.M. Newton at Ultimo library. She had said that she needed to to go on a journey of self discovery after the darkness of serving on the Force and now she writes Crime novels. I hope that Belinda can similarly find solace in writing, although I know writing her own memoir was harrowing rather than cathartic perhaps fiction will give her the release she deserves.
On a personal note I found it quite interesting how after child birth her symptoms became over powering. Through my own dealings with PND, psychiatric hospital and managing my Facebook for mentally complex women I have found that past trauma always comes flooding back after child birth and that PND does not happen in a vacuum. Although Belinda Neil has PTSD I believe that women with PND would get a lot out of this book.
Reading this book reminded me of Walter Mason's "Inspirational Conversation" P.M. Newton at Ultimo library. She had said that she needed to to go on a journey of self discovery after the darkness of serving on the Force and now she writes Crime novels. I hope that Belinda can similarly find solace in writing, although I know writing her own memoir was harrowing rather than cathartic perhaps fiction will give her the release she deserves.
July 15, 2015
*3.5 stars
Homicide investigation and hostage negotiation are just some of the confronting tasks shared by former police officer, turned author Belinda Neil in her debut memoir, Under Siege. Essentially though, Under Siege is a brave and informative memoir that goes to the very heart of post traumatic stress disorder, that occurs in serving our community as a police officer. By working tirelessly to keep out community safe, officers such as Belinda Neil put their lives, emotions and family life on the front line. In this moving and honest account, Belinda traces back from her time as a police recruit, through to climbing up the ranks to become a high ranking officer in command of many duties simultaneously. What I drew most from this memoir is importance of sharing the impacts of psychological injury to those with witness harrowing crime scenes or similar. Although I am not a police officer, I feel that this book raised my awareness of PTSD and the thankless work our police force perform day after day. Uttermost respect to Belinda Neil and the Australian police force.
Homicide investigation and hostage negotiation are just some of the confronting tasks shared by former police officer, turned author Belinda Neil in her debut memoir, Under Siege. Essentially though, Under Siege is a brave and informative memoir that goes to the very heart of post traumatic stress disorder, that occurs in serving our community as a police officer. By working tirelessly to keep out community safe, officers such as Belinda Neil put their lives, emotions and family life on the front line. In this moving and honest account, Belinda traces back from her time as a police recruit, through to climbing up the ranks to become a high ranking officer in command of many duties simultaneously. What I drew most from this memoir is importance of sharing the impacts of psychological injury to those with witness harrowing crime scenes or similar. Although I am not a police officer, I feel that this book raised my awareness of PTSD and the thankless work our police force perform day after day. Uttermost respect to Belinda Neil and the Australian police force.
January 29, 2015
Belinda Neil tells the story of how working in the police force eventually affected her mental health. This book provides great insight into the world of law enforcement. Neil was passionate about her career, particularly about her roles as a homicide investigator and hostage negotiatior. She felt that what she did was interesting and rewarding in many ways. However, working for so many years in violent and brutal circumstances resulted in Neil developing PTSD.
Since being diagnosed, her attempts to overcome PTSD demonstrate incredible strength and resilience. Whilst Neil's actual words are slightly cold and emotionless at times (police are not the most eloquent or poetic writers around), I still take my hat off to Neil for sharing such a personal story. This is an inspiring and courageous tale that will leave you with a new respect for police.
Since being diagnosed, her attempts to overcome PTSD demonstrate incredible strength and resilience. Whilst Neil's actual words are slightly cold and emotionless at times (police are not the most eloquent or poetic writers around), I still take my hat off to Neil for sharing such a personal story. This is an inspiring and courageous tale that will leave you with a new respect for police.
March 20, 2015
This was one of the most moving books I've read in a long time. It was brutally honest and struck many cords to me. I often found myself trying not to cry (as I listened to this in the car it was esp important to do so). I've always respected the hell out of police and what they do - having grown up in a not so good area I'm well aware of what can happen - this made the respect grow and i applause Belinda for not only surviving but being able to write about it.
What scared me the most was the personality traits I share with her but also as a suffering of depression/anxiety the symptoms I have too though nowhere near the level she has. I was fully aware of what ptsd was and it entailed but this brought it to a whole knew level. The respect for not knowing,y her but my friends who have it and everyone else has grown
What scared me the most was the personality traits I share with her but also as a suffering of depression/anxiety the symptoms I have too though nowhere near the level she has. I was fully aware of what ptsd was and it entailed but this brought it to a whole knew level. The respect for not knowing,y her but my friends who have it and everyone else has grown
September 11, 2016
A very good insight to the horrific jobs police go to!
January 15, 2022
If you read this book, you will never criticise the police again. It emphasises the low life scum they have to deal with daily and the extraordinary lengths they go to play fair against the gutter-trash they're up against. Having said that, Belinda Neil came across as a workaholic who felt indispensable and should have seen her breakdown coming. It is a great lesson of: 'you can't do it all, do what you can'. Had Inspector Neil paced herself, she may have been the NSW Police Commissioner today. However, 'Under Siege' is an enthralling read and a chilling insight into just how many genuinely evil human beings are roaming our streets and the dangerous, thankless task of police who try to keep the community safe.
July 6, 2014
Gives you a whole new understanding and respect for what police officers have to deal with everyday, long days/shifts with rarely days off, all taking a toll both personally and professionally. Well written but sometimes I felt like I was reading a police report with little emotion, now reflecting you would have to emotionally switch off to deal with what they deal with everyday, I received this book thru goodreads competitions and it's not one I would have gone out and purchased myself but was pleasantly surprised and would recommend , congratulations Belinda Neil on your honest and courages novel
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December 21, 2015"Belinda found herself contemplating jumping off a cliff in the Moreton Bay National Park. She had even written the suicide note."
No.
Moreton Bay National Park is about 44 km southeast of Brisbane.
Belinda Neil writes of her emotional distress whilst at retreat close to Morton National Park, in the Southern Highlands of NSW.
No.
Moreton Bay National Park is about 44 km southeast of Brisbane.
Belinda Neil writes of her emotional distress whilst at retreat close to Morton National Park, in the Southern Highlands of NSW.
April 24, 2015
A good read and well told Belinda Neil. The New South Wales police force is a lesser place without you there, your dedication and love for the job is admirable. I hope you continue to recover and enjoy your family.
November 30, 2014
Found this one very interesting and enlightening.
April 9, 2016
A simply written memoir to remind you that the inhumanity our frontline forces see is more fierce than any fiction.
September 4, 2014
Great read, sad as well, read this and you will agree or police need to be paid much much more!!
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews