I Leap Over The Wall

by Monica Baldwin

I am not the first member of my family to leap over a wall. Nearly four hundred years ago, my ancestor, Thomas Baldwin of Diddlebury, leaped to freedom from behind the walls of the Tower of London, where he had been imprisoned for taking part in a plot for the escape of Mary Queen of Scots. His name, with an inscription and the date 'July 1585' can still be seen where he carved it on the wall of his cell in the Beauchamp Tower. Later, he added a motto to his coat-of-arms, Per Deum meum transilio murum- 'By the help of my God I leap over the wall'. It has been the family motto of the Baldwins ever since; but the wall that I leapt over was a spiritual and not a material obstacle. In 1914, my cousin, William Sparrow, who disapproved of my entering the convent, wrote to " Knowing you as I do, I can safely predict that it will be with you as with another fair and foolish female, whose unwisdom caused her to languish long behind prison walls. Your End will be your Beginning. I commend these words, with those of the family motto, to your meditations. Taken together, they may suggest a course of action in years to come." In the following pages I have tried to describe what happened when my cousin's rather ambiguous prophecy was fulfilled. It is a rash and foolhardy undertaking, in the circumstances, for I really know nothing about anything, except, perhaps, what goes on behind 'high convent walls'. My only excuse is that so many, and such different kinds of people, have urged me to attempt it. Some of them said to me, 'Because of your past environment, your angle is unusual. It should interest people. You ought to write about it.' Others simply bombarded me with questions. It is chiefly on their account that I have embarked upon this book. Some of the remarks made to me revealed such fantastically wrong ideas about nuns and convents that I began to feel something ought to be done to put the monastic ideal in a truer perspective for those who know little' or nothing about it. So I have tried to write accurately and fairly about life in a strictly enclosed convent, as I myself experienced it. To do this it was necessary to describe not only the wonderful and exalted spiritual ideal which inspires that life, but also certain aspects of it which, for various reasons, may perhaps leave something to be desired. I do not feel that I have done my subject justice. If, however, these pages help to straighten out even a few of the curiously crooked notions which so many people still appear to retain about convents, I shall be well satisfied.

Genres: Memoir, Religion, Nonfiction, History, Autobiography, World War II, Biography

328 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1949

Reviews

[Sonia Gomes · Rating 3 out of 5]

I felt terribly sad when I read this book.
Monica Baldwin never criticizes the Convent where she spent her entire youth.
She never utters a word about her reasons for leaving the Convent, there is utter restraint in her book. Perhaps it had nothing to do with the Convent and everything to do with her own personal Faith.
I only wish she had left the Convent at the age of 27 when she first began to think that she had made a mistake.
She waited another 18 years.
However, she did leave and wrote a memoir, never a word about the Convent or her reasons for leaving, that I call courage and classiness.

[Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this about 52 years ago, is my best guess. It made a tremendous impression on me for then, you see, women basically didn't leave convents. If they did, no one certainly ever wrote a book about it.

What is amazing is that I clearly remember the night a girl I heard of had entered the convent in Fort Madison. My high school girlfriend, Theresa, and I were very struck by being told this by her mother, as we were happily eating chips and drinking Pepsis. Of a sudden, we realized that all such innocent pleasures would be denied this high school girl forever.

In my recent 50 year reunion, I actually met this woman! She came out after about 15 years, I believe. I asked her if she regretted her experience and, happily, she said that she was very glad that she had done it back then, so very many years ago.

[Mamabee · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you've ever wondered what a nun's habit feels like in 90-degree weather and you're willing to let yourself fall into the rhythm of mid-20th-century British writing, give this one a try. The book goes back and forth from Monica Baldwin's recollections of her 28 years in an enclosed convent, and her attempts to find work, housing, and personal connections in a world that has changed drastically since she last saw it. She enters the convent in 1914 and knows little of the happenings of the outside world (aside from notification in 1918 that WWI has ended), and she leaves the convent a few years into the next world war. Music, language, fashion, and manners have changed nearly beyond recognition, and her transition back into the secular world is not for the faint of heart.

There are several laugh-out-loud funny moments, especially in the first third of the book, but much of the middle of the memoir details her extreme difficulty in finding a place to work that suits her limited range of marketable skills, and a place to live that is financially possible and doesn't cause a former nun unsustainable levels of anxiety. She describes herself in the introduction as a "square peg in a round hole" in the convent, but it is evident that this is a fair description of her life after the convent as well.

This memoir was unexpectedly entertaining, and endearing in its oddness. I suspect this would be a good description of the author as well.

[Susanne Timpani · Rating 3 out of 5]

Monica Baldwin writes about her experience of exiting an enclosed convent in 1941, after twenty-eight years. Life in the middle of war-torn England couldnt have been more different than the world as she knew it in 1914. No news of the progressing world enters the convent and she stepped out in a radically changed environment. Alone, without relevant skills to offer employers, and essentially homeless, her experience is heart breaking. What is surprising is that her love and dedication to her Catholic faith remains steadfast. She defends the convent way of life and allows the reader snippets of insight into what happens behind the walls that she metaphorically 'leapt over.' Her theological explanation and personal experience of the contemplative life may confuse some readers. The purpose of entering the convent, in her view, is to develop spiritual perfection. The degree of spiritual exercises the nuns go to, I would imagine the average Catholic would find difficult to relate to. The book was well written and it captivated my interest to keep me steadily reading. Her discovery of her ability to write was a saving grace as she wandered aimlessly around in her new world. I imagine that the book would attract readers with a particular interest in this topic. For the rest it could be slow going.

[Marilyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am drawn to books about the lives of nuns. Monica Baldwin entered a convent in 1914 and left in 1941. So many things had changed in those intervening years and she had been completely cut off from the outside world. She was unprepared for life on the outside and unskilled, untrained for any job. This is the story of her adjustment to the outside world as she tries to find a job and a place to live without depending on family. There are comparisons to her life in the convent, but no in-depth discussion of that life. I was surprised that she never mentioned her parents, though she does mention lots of other relatives. I suspect they may have passed while she was in the convent. I was disappointed that although she mentions the "office" she does not thoroughly explain it. I wish she had written more about her life in the convent, but obviously she wanted to talk about the transition to the outside instead.

Around the Year in 52 Books 2020 - A category that didn't win RELIGION

[Teamhair · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is an autobiographical novel covering the first couple of years after Baldwin left an enclosed order during WW2. There are interesting (brief) insights into the life of enclosed orders pre-Vatican 2. However, for the most part the story is fairly hum-drum and dull. Baldwin refers to her Uncle, the Prime Minister and her family generally on a number of occasions and I wondered if perhaps this book had greater appeal in the 40's and 50's because of the associated 'celebrity'. I barely got to the end of this book.

[Judi Mckay · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cannot believe that this book has been available all my life and I have only just got round to reading it! The story of how Ms Baldwin re-entered life after 28 years in a convent and her detailing of the changes which she noticed, alongside detailed descriptions and explanations of life in an enclosed order is a joy to read. I read it because it had been recommended as a book to outline the way the English language changed between the wars, but it was so much more than that. A great read.

[Ian Carpenter · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't know how, I don't know why but three memoirs by ex-nuns have knocked me out. Nuns are bad-asses. The level of self-exploration and testing they go through is huge. The challenges they face to realize they need to leave are immense. And those they face re-integrating in normal life could be crippling.

[Alf Broadbean · Rating 4 out of 5]

Baldwin writes really well, and I found her descriptions of Cornish and Scottish landscapes especially magic. Fascinating to hear her thoughts on how much the world had changed from 1914 to 1942. She felt rather like an additional grandmother, as she imparted wonderful life advice amid her narration of her adventures. I would like to take a lot from this. I liked the interwoven discussions of theology, and it was fascinating to hear about life in the convent. I loved when she took a bus through Poldhu and Mullion Cove. Plenty of food for thought.

[Lbball27 · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think I am somewhere between a 3 and 4 on this one. some parts were amazing insights into her life. some very slow moving. I do want to read her novel.

[Steven H · Rating 5 out of 5]

A FORMER CATHOLIC NUN FOR 28 YEARS TELLS HER STORY, AND OF HER DEPARTURE

Monica Baldwin (1893–1975) was [besides being the niece of a British Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin] a canoness regular for 28 years, until she gave up her vows in 1941. She also wrote The Called and the Chosen.

She wrote in the Introduction to this 1950 book, "In the following pages I have tried to describe what happened ... It is a rash and foolhardy undertaking... for I really know nothing about anything, except, perhaps, what goes on behind 'high convent walls.' My only excuse is that so many, and such different kinds of people, have urged me to attempt it... Others simply bombarded me with questions. It is chiefly on their account that I have embarked upon this book. Some of the remarks made to me revealed such fantastically wrong ideas about nuns and convents that I began to feel something ought to be done to put the monastic idea in a truer perspective for those who know little or nothing about it." (Pg. 5-6)

She states in the first chapter, "Most people imagine that girls go into convents because of an unsuccessful love-affair... I myself believe that most people become nuns because they belong to one or other of two classes. The first and smaller class consists of those who are naturally devout. Marriage does not particularly attract them... They do not make the best nuns, but they certainly lead good lives and quite often arrive at a surprising degree of holiness. The second class is the larger and the more interesting. It consists of the people who enter convents less because they themselves chose to do so than because they are chosen by God. These are the real 'vocations.' Some spiritual adventure has happened to them: some vital encounter has taken place between their souls and God... They therefore become possessed by a kind of burning hunger and thirst for God, which only he himself can satisfy." (Pg. 10-11)

She says, "Looking back, it now seems to me that what was hardest on human nature in religious life was the absolute subjection, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, of one's free will to the exigencies of the Rule. It would not be too much to say that in those few words are contained all the agonies of what is called 'a life of perfection.'" (Pg. 63-64)

She suggests, "For there really ARE points of similarity between hen-canaries and some enclosed religious. They are both so neat, so almost identical in appearance, so perfectly content to continue hopping about from perch to perch behind their bars... I remember feeling almost smothered by the rarefied atmosphere of undiluted femininity. I used to long madly for a whiff of cigarette smoke, the hint of a pipe in the offing, the rough, male smell of tweed. I would sooner have died than reveal these shameful thoughts to my Novice Mistress." (Pg. 91)

She recalls that an older nun told her, "She surprised me by declaring that there was such a thing as 'luxuriating in suffering,' and that what she called 'real austerity of will' was needed to deny oneself the comfort of thinking about what was causing one pain." (Pg. 134)

She argues, "Nuns and monks were NOT... unhinged old maids and desiccated bachelors who had shuffled off their responsibilities in order to live lives of soured virginity... far from being either negative or diminished, the life lived by monks and nuns was one of intense---and... even passionate love. Only, this love, instead of being 'natural' and human was 'supernatural' and divine." (Pg. 163)

Although Ms. Baldwin's experiences are from "another era," this is still a thoughtful and engaging account of a nun's life in the period from 1913-1941, and will greatly interest readers looking for such a historical account.

[Felicity Terry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Have you ever wondered what changes you'd encounter if ever you were to, lets say, fall asleep for ten .. for twenty .. for almost thirty years?

You have?

Thank goodness I'm not the only one!

Well, not that she fell asleep but ...

From a world of physical hardships; with no getting away from what sounds like some pretty challenging characters to a world of war and thus very different 'hardships', from an orderly life to a very hectic one, life certainly had changed ... and how ... in the twenty-eight years the author, a niece of British Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin, spent as a nun in a enclosed order.

Told with an exquisitely British sense of humour. Chronicling life both pre and post entrance into the convent, I thought I Leap Over The Wall a truly fascinating read (that it was banned in Ireland for many years no surprise). The fact that we never got to know exactly why she chose this life in the first place; why she she stuck it out for quite so long (though I think we'll probably all have our own thoughts on this, many of them I'm sure, pretty accurate) when it became clear early on that she had no vocation for this life, my only small gripes and alas something we will never know for sadly she took her own life in 1975 after writing two other books; 'The Called and the Chosen' and 'Goose In The Jungle (the former a novel, the latter, a second autobiography).

Copyright .... Tracy Terry @ Pen and Paper

[Sandyscroll · Rating 4 out of 5]

Monica writes about her life with honesty, highlighting the many contrasts she experienced. She shows foolhardiness and wisdom, weakness and strength, fear and courage, joy and sadness, but mostly of her (and our) ability to make huge changes to life, whatever and whenever that may be. She entered the convent in 1914, just as the first world war began. Her emergence from the enclosre she had chosen, 28 years later in 1941, left her facing not only the immense difficulties of life during the second world war, but also a world that had moved on in almost every aspect of life: changes in social rules, codes of dress, shifts in the class system and the infrastructure of towns and cities. Bombing had scarred the landscapes she knew, lack of signage masked the ones she didn't. Having had such an 'unworldly' career, she lacked qualifications and acceptable experience for much of the wartime work for which she applied. Her dogged determination, faith and self regulation (probably gained over years of practise in the monastic life) carry her through.
The occasional lines in French and Latin slowed my reading a little, but were made made reasonably clear without needing to search elsewhere for meaning by the context.
A truly fascinating and engaging autobiography.

[Hoyadaisy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read it out of interest in enclosed monastic life, and she certainly does provide information, but it's woven into the main story of how she adjusted to life after the convent. This is interesting too, at first, as her struggles happen during WWII and give and interesting picture of that time. Eventually though, the book devolves into jobs she didn't get, or got and didn't like, and relatives she stayed with. I skimmed the last 1/3.

[Helen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was mesmerised by this, and I'm glad I didn't read reviews beforehand, because so many seem to say she was obviously a horrible woman, but I just didn't read her like that, I saw her seeing the good in people, and illuminating so much about convent life, and being so honest about her own shortcomings. I could have kept on reading for three times the length. It will stay with me.

[C · Rating 4 out of 5]

Candid, thoughtful, and unique. Provides a clear glimpse of a very closed world.

[John McGrath · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book decades ago. i found it amusing, in a Wodehouse way, although I did not think thst the author meant to be funny. As an American of Irish born and raised pasents active in the Irish War of Independence, I was amused by the upper class assumptions and tone.

Bizarrely a few years later I visited Princethorpe College where my Irish first cousin was a teacher and some sort of administrator (not the Head). According to him the scholl buildings and gounds were turned into a Catholic School when the previous occupants, a convent of nuns, went bankrupt when a certain nun left and took her originally dowry to the convent with her. The dowry was said to be 100,000 pounds sterling. The convent had been founded and staffed by aristocratic French nuns fleeing revolutionary France. I then connected my cousin's account of this part of the school's history with "I Leap Over The Wall." This cound have been an erroneous s connection, but there it was,. My cousin's account certainly fit the book;'s story, as I rembered the bookwhich I had read many years before.

At any raste it was a rather interesting visit. My Irish cousin, a young priest, was the only faculty member able to climb to to top of the tower of the old massive convent church. Te students had a lounge there, where they had some fredom from the confines of the school's rules.

My cou sin took me to see the study hall constructed from the very top of the old church (which had been deconsecrated. I, like him, was amused by how the large mural of mary had a clock in the face portion, something of an odd symbol of the change from sacred use to secular use, from eternal time to the time of the busy world. A time ethos I associated with Mr. Dicken's Mr. Bounderby.

One other memopry of the school stands out. My Irish cousin was anused by how English children had a love for queuing up. During the children's yard play time he clapped his hands and the children promptly queued up, showing pleasure in the act. He did this a number of times, with the same happy result for the children

The Irish cousin evebntually left the priesthood, but not befoe I had arranged for a South Boston local celebrity coach to go to Princethorpe to coach basketball. This led to some of the students on their gap year to visting South Boston. My cousin eventually married a polish aristocrast whose family's wealth disappeared under the Nazis and the mother and her two children were sent to a Siberian gulag under the Soviets. Howe they got out and got to England is an oddball stiry, like so many among my extended family in Ireland, England and France. The mother, penniless but with a small grant of money from a mysterious source, raised the children in London's East End, then strictly working class (with some well off gangsters thrown in) and not the gentrifying East End of today. Given the whole story of how they got out of the Gulag (after WWII), ended up in a British concentration camp in Palestine (they had been classified by the Soviets as Jews so they could be ransomed for hard cash by the Zionists), were quickly visited by a British diplomatic representative, whisked off as a result to Paris and then London, I made the assumption that the source of their ransom and help was the king. They never met any royals or nobles for tha matter, but no one else made sense, at least to me. The mother was a close enough relative of the king (and the Czar) for this assumption to make sense. But it was only an assumption. At any rate the son contributed DNA to the project of autheticating the recovered bodies that were suspected of being the reains of the Czar and his family (which turned out to be true).

I think nyou can see how this American raised by opsarents who fought in the Irish War of Independence, fuind the whoile UK aristoratic ethos somewhat silly as well as harmful to the UK as welll as Ireland. Ironically an uncle in London married a woman from n aristocratic family, a country gentry type. She was quite charming and funny.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I was young and intensely spiritual, I first heard of Monica Baldwin's "I Leap Over the Wall." At that time, "The Nun's Story" was a bestseller and film. Convent life was a popular subject back then. I too felt called to the religious life but while I was still a minor, Vatican II changed many Catholic practices so, for better or worse, my spiritual journey proceeded without my becoming an old-fashioned cloistered nun. Only recently, due to my travels, continuing interest in religion as well as British life during World War II, I purchased Monica Baldwin's book which combines the author's intricate thoughts about her faith contrasted with her rough and tumble life in England disrupted by war and changed by morals, fashion, manners and technology. It's good thing that Ms Baldwin had a sense of humor. Back in the early 20th c. the author's elite family disapproved of her vocation and those same people were still disapproving nearly 30 years later when she returned to them, a failed nun. This middle-aged woman had to find her way through financial distress, housing needs, medical and dental problems, fruitless job-seeking without relevant credentials, public transportation during blackouts where signage was lacking and whistling bombs flying over her flea-infested sleeping hovel. At one point, on a country road, she had become so weakened by physical labor that she toppled into the bushes because her legs failed her. (I know that feeling, Santa Monica, my knees gave out long ago!) Thankfully, the author was rescued by a farmer who happened along. When all seemed lost, an old favorite novel was tossed her way and a vision renewed her hopes. >> My problem with "I Leap Over the Wall" is, in reading lengthy explanations the author made to family and friends defending monastic life, I found myself agreeing with them, not her. In reading her book, I decided that it is just as well that I never entered a convent. Also, I purchased a very old paperback because I like the cover art and photograph but the tome literally disintegrated as I ever so carefully turned the pages.

[Adam Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

This random charity shop purchase proved to be a very interesting memoir - the account of an ex-nun adjusting to life outside the convent while WW2 is ongoing. So, you get the insights into a strict convent life, some reflections on the home front experience, and just an interesting life story all at the same time.

Monica Baldwin has many difficulties navigating life after 28 cloistered years - including the new burdens of freedom and choice, after so many years of carefully ordered days. There are lots of smaller things as well, such as her need to avoid scaring people through her monastic habit of opening and closing doors silently.

For some reason, one of the sections which most sticks in my mind is her discussion of the discipline of mortifying your palate - at least once during every meal you would, for example, eat something you didn't like, or refuse something that you did, or if you were thirsty avoid drinking. She recounts one nun who chose to "transfer to her own plate the bits of fat, gristle and other horrors from the 'scrap-plate' which was passed round once during each meal to collect what nobody could eat" (163). Yummy.

I was also struck by some of her reflections on preaching, looking back at her time in the convent: "The boring preachers were those who, instead of discussing God's ways and works as a man speaks about the doings of a friend, dished up second-hand material and served it up with rhetoric as sauce to hide the staleness of the taste. Just the difference between someone who reads aloud extracts from a book of travels and somebody who has actually visited the spot" (229). Challenging.

[Cynthia Grove · Rating 3 out of 5]

More like 3.5 stars. This is a most interesting, even fascinating, book. The author entered at age 21 an enclosed order Catholic convent in 1914 before war erupted. She left the convent in 1941. As she compares London and the social world in 1941 with both that which she remembers and her life in the convent strong changes are noted.
It is easy to overlook the problems faced by a woman of 48/49 from the minor aristocracy who has never had to apply for a paid job, find her own accommodation or even cope with unaccompanied train travel. Well worth reading about them though. Don't put your elbows on the meal table was what I was taught, and so was the author pre1914 - when not eating keep your hands in your lap. By 1941 this was improper behaviour and at least one elbow should be on the table. I did laugh at that.

This book is likely to appeal to anyone interested in social change, life in wartime Britain, or Catholicism pre Vatican II.

[Aisling Coase · Rating 3 out of 5]

Found this through Ithell Colquhoun, who mentions Baldwin in The Living Stones having encountered her in Cornwall. A nun in an enclosed Catholic order leaves the convent after twenty eight years, in the middle of the second world war, and grapples with a world that is very different to the one she left behind. I found some passages frankly quite dull, but others beautiful and poignant. I liked her attempts to gain Experience of Life. A brave but also sad story, it sort of felt like she had existed outside time through all those years and then couldn’t quite catch up.

[Bobbe · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an interesting autobiography about a nun who entered a strictly enclosed contemplative order of the Roman Catholic Church....and decided to leave 28 years later. Her views about the 'new world' she discovered (it was the beginning of WWII) are interesting and thought-provoking. The book can be slow at times, but she does reveal towards the end her reasons for leaving. She was fortunate to have family members and acquaintances who supported her when she 'leapt over the wall.'

[Margaret · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this memoir about an English woman who was a cloistered nun for 28 years and then left, in 1941. She takes a number of jobs after leaving including being a "Land Girl". Her great uncle was the prime minister Stanley Baldwin. Very interesting story to me because I have always been fascinated by nuns.

[Andrew · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting account of the years after leaving her convent, probably more Interesting for the period in which she left and being an "innocent abroad" in a society being in throws of war, goes off the rails a little from the middle onwards imo but worth a read if you are interested in the period.

[Anthea · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fascinating read. Entering a convent at the start of WWI and leaving in WWII, what a huge amount of the outside world to catch up on and so many habits to undo. The author has a gentle and humorous style, almost Wodehouse-ian.

[Louise Armstrong · Rating 3 out of 5]

Poor thing. What a terrible mistake to make! She said, 'I wanted to become a nun: it followed, therefore, as the night followed day, that God must have Chosen me. Because I wanted it....to set one's heart stubbornly upon one's own sweet will is apt to blind one.'

She's not alone though, I went to a convent school, and most of the teaching nuns were miserable - vicious even. Yet, you can't blame them for trying. I still think Christians are bonkers, but I will be forever thankful for going there - the atmosphere was charged with something that was well worth aspiring to, and a thousand times more valuable and precious than the revolting dustbin of a secondary modern that I got sent to afterwards.

[Angelo Love]

Title in Portuguese: Saltei o Muro - Mónica Baldwin
(trad_Teresa Leitão de Barros)
(Tavares Martins ed., 1962)
Lisboa

- A book about the abandonment of the vote.

- Paper veneer and read a little.


Note.
I leap over the wall – Mónica Baldwin

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really adored this book. Her vision of her peers, her history and struggles, and ultimate decisions are fascinating. It doesn't have a wide enough audience, but I think it's really a jewel.

[Maggie]

recommended by book lust.

[Little BigGirl · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have read it before, and remembered it as being good. It started off great, life as a nun is fascinating. But soon it gets tiresome, especially all the sections unnecessarily in French.