Candor: How to have courageous coaching conversations when it really matters

by Steven J. Stowell, Tony I. Herrera

Why is it that we as bright, articulate, and caring human beings have such difficulty holding effective conversations regarding important issues? Do you, like many people, vacillate between avoiding emotionally charged issues and going into attack mode in order to win and dominate discussions and debates? Are you tired of coaching communication models that seem to rely on disguised manipulation instead of clear and candid dialogue? Courageous Coaching Conversations is a leadership fable that uses a unique approach making you the center of the story to present key steps in preparing for and successfully navigating through the challenging and important communications we all face. Whether you are a leader or an individual contributor in your organization, there will undoubtedly be many times where you will find yourself in a difficult situation. These situations come in all shapes and sizes, and typically involve people with different goals, opinions, and interests, in varying kinds of work relationships boss-to-subordinate, peer-to-peer, or even subordinate-to-boss. These situations impact results and the performance level of the person, team, or organization, as well as the emotions of the people involved. The inability of people to effectively connect in these situations leads to an overall dissatisfaction in relationships, team culture, performance, and results. To avoid these pitfalls, people need the skills to have a courageous coaching conversation. You know that you are in need of a courageous coaching conversation when you encounter the following -You need to get beyond the surface level of the situation and understand the heart of the matter. -Your messages are not being received or are misunderstood by the other person or persons involved. -Your ideas are met with continuous resistance. -People are not following through on assignments and commitments. -Controversial and uncomfortable situations are not being addressed. -Problems remain unresolved. Research reveals that there are some very predictable traps that we fall into when discussing challenging issues or topics with others. This innate reaction is tied to the fight-or-flight response. Regardless of who we are, these very predictable patterns emerge during important, complex, and sensistive conversations. Understanding what these patterns are and how to craft more productive conversations is the goal of this book. The concepts underlying courageous conversations aren t abstract, and they aren t theoretical. They re really, really simple. The beauty of this framework is its simplicity. Put yourself in Adrian s shoes and go on a journey of discovery that will guide you toward developing your own courageous coaching conversations. Walk with Adrian and discover how the Courageous Coaching Conversations Model will help -Focus on the issue or problem rather than the personality of the person. -Be direct, honest, and open, but not overbearing, when communicating with others. -Learn how to foster conditions that will enable people to act with high levels of candor, respect, and responsibility as they engage in difficult, complex issues.

125 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 21, 2014

About the author

Steven J. Stowell, Ph.D. is the Founder and President of the Center for Management and Organization Effectiveness (CMOE) and holds a doctorate in Organization Behavior from the University of Utah. Dr. Stowell founded CMOE in 1978 for the purpose of helping individuals and teams maximize their effectiveness and create strategic competitiveness.
During the past 30-plus years, Steve has consulted with both small and large corporations, government agencies, school systems, and non-profit organizations in 35 different countries and has designed and developed instructional course content covering over 30 leadership and management topics. Dr. Stowell is widely recognized as a subject-matter expert in strategy, leadership, and coaching.

Reviews

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a quick read on how to prepare for, structure and conduct courageous coaching conversations. Several traditional methods are challenged and replaced with Stowell’s plan. Definitely worth the read, especially if you’ve had ineffective feedback conversations. It’s worth a try to implement new ideas if what you current do isn’t working.