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7 thói quen tạo gia đình hạnh phúc
Gia đình là tế bào của xã hội, một gia đình yên vui, hạnh phúc là nền tảng phát triển của một xã hội tiến bộ. Và có lẽ đối với hầu hết mọi người, thành công lớn nhất trong suốt cuộc đời họ không phải là tiền tài, tri thức hay địa vị xã hội mà đó chính là một gia đình hạnh phúc. Tuy nhiên, một gia đình bền vững không phải tự nhiên mà có, điều này cần đến sự kết hợp của tài năng, khát khao, tầm nhìn và sự đóng góp của mỗi thành viên trong gia đình.
Từ những kinh nghiệm và hoàn cảnh thực tiễn của chính cuộc sống gia đình mình và các gia đình khác, tác giả Stephen Covey chia sẻ những lời khuyên thiết thực để giải quyết các tình huống khó khăn thường gặp trong gia đình qua cuốn sách 7 Thói quen tạo gia đình hạnh phúc. Đó là những cách tìm ra khoảng thời gian tốt để cùng nhau chia sẻ, giải quyết các cuộc tranh cãi trong gia đình, hàn gắn những mối quan hệ rạn nứt hay thay đổi bầu không khí tiêu cực trong gia đình. Tác giả chỉ ra cách thức áp dụng những nguyên tắc vào trong cuộc sống hàng ngày thông qua các hoạt động, gặp gỡ, vui chơi để tạo nên bầu không khí gia đình thấu hiểu, đầy nhiệt huyết và giúp đỡ lẫn nhau.
7 Thói quen tạo gia đình hạnh phúc sẽ giúp bạn tìm ra câu trả lời cho các vấn đề thường gặp trong gia đình như:
- Làm thế nào để “cái tôi” của mỗi người trong gia đình chuyển thành cái “chúng ta”, trong khi mọi thứ quanh chúng ta đều thiên về “cái tôi”?
- Làm thế nào chúng ta tạo được những khoảng thời gian có ý nghĩa bên gia đình, khi cả bố và mẹ (hoặc một trong hai người) phải làm việc tất bật để kiếm sống cho gia đình?
- Làm thế nào chúng ta tạo được sự hòa hợp trong gia đình?
- Làm thế nào để con cái tự giác làm việc nhà và các bài tập ở trường, mà không cần phải nhắc nhở hoặc nài nỉ?
- Làm sao để thuyết phục các thành viên trong gia đình khi họ chẳng bao giờ chịu lắng nghe bạn?
- Làm thế nào để củng cố gia đình bạn chống lại những ảnh hưởng tiêu cực ngoài xã hội?
- Bạn cần phải làm gì khi cảm thấy mình không hiểu nổi con cái?
- Làm thế nào tạo được nề nếp kỷ luật mà không cần hình phạt?
- Làm thế nào hàn gắn lại những mối quan hệ đổ vỡ và tái tạo cảm xúc nguội lạnh?
- Làm thế nào để tạo bầu không khí vui vẻ, phấn chấn và thú vị trong gia đình?
Việc ứng dụng 7 Thói quen vào gia đình bạn là hoàn toàn tự nhiên. Vì trên thực tế, các thói quen thường được xây dựng từ trong chính gia đình. Bạn sẽ cảm nhận rõ điều này khi đọc những câu chuyện kỳ diệu của những gia đình rất khác nhau chia sẻ về cách họ áp dụng 7 Thói quen và kết quả họ đã nhận được.
7 Thói quen tạo gia đình hạnh phúc sẽ mang đến cho bạn những bài học quý giá để tạo dựng và duy trì một văn hóa gia đình vững chắc trong xã hội nhiều biến động ngày nay.
Từ những kinh nghiệm và hoàn cảnh thực tiễn của chính cuộc sống gia đình mình và các gia đình khác, tác giả Stephen Covey chia sẻ những lời khuyên thiết thực để giải quyết các tình huống khó khăn thường gặp trong gia đình qua cuốn sách 7 Thói quen tạo gia đình hạnh phúc. Đó là những cách tìm ra khoảng thời gian tốt để cùng nhau chia sẻ, giải quyết các cuộc tranh cãi trong gia đình, hàn gắn những mối quan hệ rạn nứt hay thay đổi bầu không khí tiêu cực trong gia đình. Tác giả chỉ ra cách thức áp dụng những nguyên tắc vào trong cuộc sống hàng ngày thông qua các hoạt động, gặp gỡ, vui chơi để tạo nên bầu không khí gia đình thấu hiểu, đầy nhiệt huyết và giúp đỡ lẫn nhau.
7 Thói quen tạo gia đình hạnh phúc sẽ giúp bạn tìm ra câu trả lời cho các vấn đề thường gặp trong gia đình như:
- Làm thế nào để “cái tôi” của mỗi người trong gia đình chuyển thành cái “chúng ta”, trong khi mọi thứ quanh chúng ta đều thiên về “cái tôi”?
- Làm thế nào chúng ta tạo được những khoảng thời gian có ý nghĩa bên gia đình, khi cả bố và mẹ (hoặc một trong hai người) phải làm việc tất bật để kiếm sống cho gia đình?
- Làm thế nào chúng ta tạo được sự hòa hợp trong gia đình?
- Làm thế nào để con cái tự giác làm việc nhà và các bài tập ở trường, mà không cần phải nhắc nhở hoặc nài nỉ?
- Làm sao để thuyết phục các thành viên trong gia đình khi họ chẳng bao giờ chịu lắng nghe bạn?
- Làm thế nào để củng cố gia đình bạn chống lại những ảnh hưởng tiêu cực ngoài xã hội?
- Bạn cần phải làm gì khi cảm thấy mình không hiểu nổi con cái?
- Làm thế nào tạo được nề nếp kỷ luật mà không cần hình phạt?
- Làm thế nào hàn gắn lại những mối quan hệ đổ vỡ và tái tạo cảm xúc nguội lạnh?
- Làm thế nào để tạo bầu không khí vui vẻ, phấn chấn và thú vị trong gia đình?
Việc ứng dụng 7 Thói quen vào gia đình bạn là hoàn toàn tự nhiên. Vì trên thực tế, các thói quen thường được xây dựng từ trong chính gia đình. Bạn sẽ cảm nhận rõ điều này khi đọc những câu chuyện kỳ diệu của những gia đình rất khác nhau chia sẻ về cách họ áp dụng 7 Thói quen và kết quả họ đã nhận được.
7 Thói quen tạo gia đình hạnh phúc sẽ mang đến cho bạn những bài học quý giá để tạo dựng và duy trì một văn hóa gia đình vững chắc trong xã hội nhiều biến động ngày nay.
512 pages, Paperback
Published November 1, 2009
1320 people are currently reading
21013 people want to read
About the author
Stephen R. Covey
646 books6,319 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads database.
Stephen Richards Covey was an American educator, author, businessman, and speaker. His most popular book is The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. His other books include First Things First, Principle-Centered Leadership, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families, The 8th Habit, and The Leader In Me: How Schools and Parents Around the World Are Inspiring Greatness, One Child at a Time. In 1996, Time magazine named him one of the 25 most influential people. He was a professor at the Jon M. Huntsman School of Business at Utah State University (USU) at the time of his death.
Stephen Richards Covey was an American educator, author, businessman, and speaker. His most popular book is The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. His other books include First Things First, Principle-Centered Leadership, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families, The 8th Habit, and The Leader In Me: How Schools and Parents Around the World Are Inspiring Greatness, One Child at a Time. In 1996, Time magazine named him one of the 25 most influential people. He was a professor at the Jon M. Huntsman School of Business at Utah State University (USU) at the time of his death.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 439 reviews
August 3, 2011
I didn't expect to like this book as I have a hefty mental block against self-help books. An earlier occupant of my office had left it on the shelf and I eyed it with contempt for years before curiosity finally drove me to flip through the pages. And wham! I suddenly realized all the hype around Stephen Covey wasn't just hype. He is one of those rare people -- I have known two or three in my life -- with the facility of clear thinking, who intuitively understand cause and effect, and therefore act in such a way as to produce the desired outcome.
Why can't the rest of humankind do this? I really don't know. Once we have it pointed out to us, we see it; but there is a kind of fog around our brains that prevents us seeing it on our own. Why else are there so many frustrated people, so many unhappy families? it's not because we want to hurt ourselves and those around us, it's because we don't understand how to 'begin with the end in mind', to think clearly about where we want to go and chalk out our flight plan to get there.
If you're a confused mortal wondering why nothing works out the way you want it to, read this book! If you can practise the techniques it describes, good for you! And even if you can't do it all the time, you'll still gain a better understanding of yourself and your problems. You may skip a lot of the stories, examples and re-caps, as I did. but you'll still get enough out of the book to make you glad you read it.
Why can't the rest of humankind do this? I really don't know. Once we have it pointed out to us, we see it; but there is a kind of fog around our brains that prevents us seeing it on our own. Why else are there so many frustrated people, so many unhappy families? it's not because we want to hurt ourselves and those around us, it's because we don't understand how to 'begin with the end in mind', to think clearly about where we want to go and chalk out our flight plan to get there.
If you're a confused mortal wondering why nothing works out the way you want it to, read this book! If you can practise the techniques it describes, good for you! And even if you can't do it all the time, you'll still gain a better understanding of yourself and your problems. You may skip a lot of the stories, examples and re-caps, as I did. but you'll still get enough out of the book to make you glad you read it.
March 12, 2014
I am an admirer of Stephen Covey and his seven habits so I was primed to like this book. There is some good stuff here about adapting the habits to family life, but the book has three large flaws. First, it's repetitive. The sections could each be about 1/3 to 1/2 the length but he repeats himself over and over. I understand the thing about people needing to hear things seven times to get it but this doesn't work well in a book. Second, Covey has very clear biases in favor of the traditional model where the wife stays home and the husband works (and of course same-sex couples don't exist in this world). He refers to single parents but this is apparently the only time it's acceptable for women to work. He's pretty explicit about this belief, going off on a lengthy tangent a little over halfway through and citing research but conveniently leaving out the research that doesn't support his bias. In a world where most mothers work, he gives no attention to how that changed a family. Then there was this: There are real life stories throughout and in one of them a woman tells a bizarre story from her teenaged years about a movie night at home with her mom, who was pregnant. The mom had a miscarriage while they were home alone but she subverted her feelings when her daughter found her in the bathroom. They cleaned up and went on as normal. The adult daughter reflecting back said "instead of wallowing in her grief...she cared more about my feelings than her own and turned what could have been a traumatic experience for me into a positive one." A POSITIVE experience? I found this disturbing. The mother didn't seek medical care or even have a chance to process the feelings and this is seen as a good thing? This is an example of how NOT to handle a miscarriage in my opinion. I didn't actually finish the book because this stopped me in my tracks.
March 26, 2009
Written using the same principles that were introduced in the bestselling "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," Stephen Covey applies The Seven Habits to the family using personal, family, and others' experiences to illustrate each concept. Every chapter includes ways to apply the principles in the family, and ways to teach the principles to your family. I've only read a chapter or two of the first Seven Habits book, and so I enjoyed not only learning about the Seven Habits, but how they apply to the family. Like any program, the Seven Habits takes time and application, and then patience to see results, but the Seven Habits are grounded in truths that will help anyone or any family have better relationships and be more successful in life. I loved the illustrating stories and the personal insights that Dr. Covey, his wife, his family, and others shared to help the reader learn how to apply the principles. I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants ideas on how to improve family relationships and create a beautiful family culture.
When we lived in student housing at BYU, our stake president (the leader of several LDS congregations) was John Covey, Dr. Covey's brother. We had the privilege of having a half-day seminar given by John and Stephen Covey based on these principles, with break-out sessions given by his wife and daughters and one of the counselors who also worked for Covey. There was no promotion of the company whatsoever; just an excellent discussion of how to build our little budding families in positive, inspired ways. I've always appreciated the time they took out of their busy lives to teach us the doctrines of Jesus Christ and the practical application of them using the experiences they've had in applying the Seven Habits and other truths.
When we lived in student housing at BYU, our stake president (the leader of several LDS congregations) was John Covey, Dr. Covey's brother. We had the privilege of having a half-day seminar given by John and Stephen Covey based on these principles, with break-out sessions given by his wife and daughters and one of the counselors who also worked for Covey. There was no promotion of the company whatsoever; just an excellent discussion of how to build our little budding families in positive, inspired ways. I've always appreciated the time they took out of their busy lives to teach us the doctrines of Jesus Christ and the practical application of them using the experiences they've had in applying the Seven Habits and other truths.
October 3, 2012
I read this as an audiobook which turned out to be a mistake. It's just too hard to absorb the ideas when you are driving, and I wanted to make notes and had to settle for voice memos. When I do a reread, as I should, I will read the paper or e-version.
That said, it was a sound book with a lot of good suggestions. We are actively working on our family dynamics so that we can bring our a-game in anticipation of another child, and this book gave my husband and I a lot of good talking points. I think that's the key to any self-help book like this: you're not going to change just from reading them, but you'll walk away with ideas and things to discuss with your partner, and that's where the change slowly seeps in. See, even "change" is too strong a word because it implies a problem, and you don't need to have a problem to get something from this book. It's more like adding a weight-lifting program to your fitness regime so that you can tone existing muscles. This helps you tone your family structure.
The 7 habits for my own reference are:
1. Be proactive:
rather than reactive
2. Establish a written family or personal mission statement:
Ok yes, this sounds cheesetastic, and no, we haven't done it yet, BUT it is an interesting discussion to talk about what you each think your family's core mission is. Why are you a family unit? What are you hoping to achieve?
3. Put first things first
Your family is first and should be a top priority. Really, actually schedule it on the calendar and treat it like a business meeting. The time is filled, you can't schedule anything else there. This is such a great suggestion, and one we've already put into practice. I had to turn down a fun invitation this Friday because I'd already committed to a storytime with my son. It was on the calendar, so I had that time blocked out for him, and I knew it was a priority for us.
4. Think "win-win"
Boy, isn't this life with a toddler? Every day we try to give him choices (so he feels independent) that we can live with (so we get what we need too). It seems that this extends into older children and family life.
5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood
I loved this one. One thing Covey said that I had to record was that when you love someone, you must love the things they love as much as you love the person themself to truly accept that person.
6. "Synergize"
Find a way to foster family unity through differences, not in spite of.
7. "Sharpen the saw"
Continually work on these 7 things (Covey offers the analogy of a person sawing for two hours to chop down a tree when someone asks if they have tried sharpening the saw. "are you crazy? I can't stop for that!")
That said, it was a sound book with a lot of good suggestions. We are actively working on our family dynamics so that we can bring our a-game in anticipation of another child, and this book gave my husband and I a lot of good talking points. I think that's the key to any self-help book like this: you're not going to change just from reading them, but you'll walk away with ideas and things to discuss with your partner, and that's where the change slowly seeps in. See, even "change" is too strong a word because it implies a problem, and you don't need to have a problem to get something from this book. It's more like adding a weight-lifting program to your fitness regime so that you can tone existing muscles. This helps you tone your family structure.
The 7 habits for my own reference are:
1. Be proactive:
rather than reactive
2. Establish a written family or personal mission statement:
Ok yes, this sounds cheesetastic, and no, we haven't done it yet, BUT it is an interesting discussion to talk about what you each think your family's core mission is. Why are you a family unit? What are you hoping to achieve?
3. Put first things first
Your family is first and should be a top priority. Really, actually schedule it on the calendar and treat it like a business meeting. The time is filled, you can't schedule anything else there. This is such a great suggestion, and one we've already put into practice. I had to turn down a fun invitation this Friday because I'd already committed to a storytime with my son. It was on the calendar, so I had that time blocked out for him, and I knew it was a priority for us.
4. Think "win-win"
Boy, isn't this life with a toddler? Every day we try to give him choices (so he feels independent) that we can live with (so we get what we need too). It seems that this extends into older children and family life.
5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood
I loved this one. One thing Covey said that I had to record was that when you love someone, you must love the things they love as much as you love the person themself to truly accept that person.
6. "Synergize"
Find a way to foster family unity through differences, not in spite of.
7. "Sharpen the saw"
Continually work on these 7 things (Covey offers the analogy of a person sawing for two hours to chop down a tree when someone asks if they have tried sharpening the saw. "are you crazy? I can't stop for that!")
March 2, 2015
I really liked 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and in the context of families it makes even more sense.
7 Habits:
1: Use your agency/be proactive. Use the pause button to use 4 gifts.
2: Begin with the end in mind (personal, spouse, family motto/creed).
3: Put first things first (one-on-one time, family nights).
4. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
5. Think win-win
6. Synergy
7. Sharpen the saw
Husband's comment: Covey is a genius. He has taken certain practices/principles of the LDS church and made them available to a general audience and made a fortune.
My favorite take away: the Emotional Bank Account; every interaction with a member of your family can either be a deposit or a withdrawal.
7 Habits:
1: Use your agency/be proactive. Use the pause button to use 4 gifts.
2: Begin with the end in mind (personal, spouse, family motto/creed).
3: Put first things first (one-on-one time, family nights).
4. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
5. Think win-win
6. Synergy
7. Sharpen the saw
Husband's comment: Covey is a genius. He has taken certain practices/principles of the LDS church and made them available to a general audience and made a fortune.
My favorite take away: the Emotional Bank Account; every interaction with a member of your family can either be a deposit or a withdrawal.
March 22, 2016
Getting through this book was very difficult for me. Not because the content was bad, just because it was very...dense. (Also because I'm bad at reading.) If I was reading very meticulously as I am wont to do, I could only manage a couple pages before my brain was saturated. I think, honestly, it could've done with quite a few less stories and examples, and there were definitely times I felt like though something was quite interesting, it wasn't really necessary. You can tell the guy is very well-learned and...maybe wants to show it. Nevertheless it was all quite fascinating.
The content was really quite good in my opinion, though I'm not quite sure how to describe it. It isn't exactly a 7 step system as one would assume, as those are pretty straightforward. It's more like... 7 methodologies for living? Almost like, psychological principles.
It is definitely very wholesome which I appreciate. He covers the importance of spiritual, social-emotional, physical/economic, and mental aspects of life and their importance. He covers modeling and mentoring. Empathetic LISTENING. Creating a win-win situation instead of the win-lose our culture seems to follow. Making the important (not urgent) a priority in our life.
I would definitely recommend this book to anyone that is a part of a family, wants to have a family, or interacts with people. So basically, everyone. My only hesitation is just the length and density. I know there are abridged versions and cliff notes, those might be able to capture the essential methodologies so if you can't make it through the book, try those. Definitely worth having in your tool bag.
(P.S. I like how for our premarital counseling we were required to read several books that were no where near the quality of this. UGH GET IT TOGETHER, PEOPLE. I would HIGHLY recommend this for anyone getting married or especially recently married. THE END.)
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August 5, 2011This book took me a while to read because I took extensive notes, which I do not normally do. Covey's 7 Habits as applied to families seek to promote what Covey calls "a beautiful family culture." The author points out that these habits can be applied to any family at any stage of life. To summarize, the 7 habits are as follows: (1) Be proactive rather than reactive; (2) Establish a written family mission statement and written family values; (3) Make family your top priority; (4) Try to create "win-win" scenarios; (5) Seek first to understand, then to be understood; (6) "Synergize", or put all of these together; and (7) "Sharpen the saw", or continually renew yourself and your family physically, mentally, socially, and emotionally.
Numerous anecdotes throughout the book, which are shared by Covey, his family members, and others, provide excellent illustration of the 7 habits. Those of us who learn well via the case method are well served.
Numerous anecdotes throughout the book, which are shared by Covey, his family members, and others, provide excellent illustration of the 7 habits. Those of us who learn well via the case method are well served.
February 12, 2010
This book is the same content as The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, but with a particular emphasis and examples relating to families. I loved how it taught about teaching your children resposibility and how a parent can help most effectively while still letting your children learn. I am glad I read this book now as a fairly new parent because it has already made several things easier and I feel like a much better parent. Although Thom did not read this specific book, he has read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and so we have had many good discussions on parenting techniques and what works for us.
July 21, 2017
Excellent! This is the book that inspired us to write our family mission statement.
December 3, 2017
I liked the overall message in this, but with me being such a raging cynic, I struggled with execution. I listened to the audio and it turned me off. It felt like a "let's hold hands - kumbaya fest". I don't know what it is, but that kind of thing gets my hackles up.
However, in spite of the cynic within, I did find that this book has some practical applications for strengthening families and how to keep things on a positive note. Keeping the end result in mind, was something I wholeheartedly agree with....particularly when it comes to discipline.
However, in spite of the cynic within, I did find that this book has some practical applications for strengthening families and how to keep things on a positive note. Keeping the end result in mind, was something I wholeheartedly agree with....particularly when it comes to discipline.
February 14, 2023
Recomand pentru orice părinte care dorește să își ducă familia la un alt nivel. La un nivel în care să nu simtă doar că supraviețuiesc sau că reacționează la ceea ce li se întâmplă sau că încearcă să găsească metode rapide pentru a rezolva probleme cu care se confruntă de mult timp.
Ideile par foarte logice, dar aşa de rar am întâlnit familii care chiar sa le aplice! E mult mai ușor să "o iei pe scurtături" și sa nu depui conștient munca grea de a alege mai bine pentru familia ta.
Recomand! Și probabil mă voi reîntoarce la ea!
Ideile par foarte logice, dar aşa de rar am întâlnit familii care chiar sa le aplice! E mult mai ușor să "o iei pe scurtături" și sa nu depui conștient munca grea de a alege mai bine pentru familia ta.
Recomand! Și probabil mă voi reîntoarce la ea!
June 22, 2024
This review is for the 2022 updated version.
Occasionally I get asked "what is a book that has changed your life?" Taking the question literally, my main answer is "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens." This usually gets a funny look, and I've never figured out if it's because I'm so effective that nobody can imagine me otherwise, or if I'm so ineffective that they cannot imagine the book changed anything at all.
In any case, I haven't refreshed on the habits since I was a teen, so it was high time to revisit. Especially since I now hear myself saying things like "you're driving me crazy!" And "you make me so angry!" Bzzzzt. Rule 1: Choose Your Own Weather.
Okay, so is this parenting book, and if so, for parents at which age and stage?
Yes and yes.
The first 3 habits are mostly about personal behavior. This is good for parents of babies and toddlers, where your reactions to their behaviors are key. You can skip all those positive parenting books if you can apply the first three habits. Instead of reading pseudoscience about why you ought never get mad at your kid, just cultivate being a calm, thoughtful person with a vision of what you're trying to achieve with your kid.
That said, a lot of the content kicks in with raising older kids to be thoughtful, responsible citizens of the family and world. Somehow the content is wide-ranging, managing to cover all the hot button issues of the 21st century like screen time and chores and toxic relatives and Disneyland.
And the final habit is essential for all parents -- put on your own oxygen mask first, but also, look for ways to get your oxygen within your already existing day. Because let's be real -- it just isn't always possible to take time out for ourselves.
The authors have their bona fides -- they're Mormons with 9+ kids and copious grandkids and they have spent altogether too much time thinking about childrearing.
I appreciate that they provide family anecdotes illustrating their failures as well as their successes. I really don't know if my ego could have handled reading this book otherwise. Every time they seemed too patient, too perfect, or too thoughtful, I would just recall Stephen Covey being grumpy because his entire family wasn't ready for vacation at 6am and feel better.
There were a few times they seemed a bit out of touch. Saying that your personal secretary won't schedule any work when any of your 9 kids have a sports match is probably a big deal. But I have an ongoing struggle with managers who keep plopping meetings into my calendar at precisely the time I need to get my kids out the door, so I was left with a sour taste.
I'm also a little skeptical of the family mission statement exercise. I understand the importance of being deliberate, setting a task, and creating a family culture, but... the whole thing seems like a bit much.
At the end of the day, this was the same seven habits I was already familiar with, but reminders are often helpful, and the child-rearing angle was instructive. I definitely enjoyed this book and hope to raise my kids in the spirit of the seven habits. In fact, I intend to look up The Seven Habits of Happy Kids next.
Occasionally I get asked "what is a book that has changed your life?" Taking the question literally, my main answer is "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens." This usually gets a funny look, and I've never figured out if it's because I'm so effective that nobody can imagine me otherwise, or if I'm so ineffective that they cannot imagine the book changed anything at all.
In any case, I haven't refreshed on the habits since I was a teen, so it was high time to revisit. Especially since I now hear myself saying things like "you're driving me crazy!" And "you make me so angry!" Bzzzzt. Rule 1: Choose Your Own Weather.
Okay, so is this parenting book, and if so, for parents at which age and stage?
Yes and yes.
The first 3 habits are mostly about personal behavior. This is good for parents of babies and toddlers, where your reactions to their behaviors are key. You can skip all those positive parenting books if you can apply the first three habits. Instead of reading pseudoscience about why you ought never get mad at your kid, just cultivate being a calm, thoughtful person with a vision of what you're trying to achieve with your kid.
That said, a lot of the content kicks in with raising older kids to be thoughtful, responsible citizens of the family and world. Somehow the content is wide-ranging, managing to cover all the hot button issues of the 21st century like screen time and chores and toxic relatives and Disneyland.
And the final habit is essential for all parents -- put on your own oxygen mask first, but also, look for ways to get your oxygen within your already existing day. Because let's be real -- it just isn't always possible to take time out for ourselves.
The authors have their bona fides -- they're Mormons with 9+ kids and copious grandkids and they have spent altogether too much time thinking about childrearing.
I appreciate that they provide family anecdotes illustrating their failures as well as their successes. I really don't know if my ego could have handled reading this book otherwise. Every time they seemed too patient, too perfect, or too thoughtful, I would just recall Stephen Covey being grumpy because his entire family wasn't ready for vacation at 6am and feel better.
There were a few times they seemed a bit out of touch. Saying that your personal secretary won't schedule any work when any of your 9 kids have a sports match is probably a big deal. But I have an ongoing struggle with managers who keep plopping meetings into my calendar at precisely the time I need to get my kids out the door, so I was left with a sour taste.
I'm also a little skeptical of the family mission statement exercise. I understand the importance of being deliberate, setting a task, and creating a family culture, but... the whole thing seems like a bit much.
At the end of the day, this was the same seven habits I was already familiar with, but reminders are often helpful, and the child-rearing angle was instructive. I definitely enjoyed this book and hope to raise my kids in the spirit of the seven habits. In fact, I intend to look up The Seven Habits of Happy Kids next.
September 2, 2025
There were some good ideas in here for bringing the family together, though it felt a bit repetitive after awhile.
October 9, 2010
I don't know how this book got on my kindle, but I am glad that I took the time to read it. I have never read the first book by Stephen Covey, but must say that I quite enjoyed this book and the habits that are presented here for making your family the most important in your life and the most successfully you can. I really like how this book starts out by talking about how we are off course 90% of the time in the family, and we must constantly work to get things back on track. This is a great reference book and one that I want to get my hands on so that I can write in it, highlight it, and make notes. I will definitely be rereading this book as I wasn't fully ready for all of the guidance given here. I highly recommend this book to everyone, single, married or otherwise.
December 22, 2014
Stephen Covey can take something like "paying attention to your children is a good idea," and end up taking credit for inventing the notion, or make it sound like it's something that only church-goers can do properly. I could not get past the Covey family's faith-based smarmy tone, and much of the data in this book is now outdated. There were a couple interesting facts, like the bit about how the home and work have switched places as far as venues for adult relaxation, and a scenario that might work for getting kids to take on responsibility for yard-maintenance.
August 15, 2010
The 7 Habits are the same, don't change. He just adapts the concepts to family life. The idea is to build a Highly effective family culture. I really enjoyed it and found some great concepts to implement at home right away.
March 5, 2019
Everyone who is a member of a family should read this book (so that means everyone 😉). Stephen Covey takes the 7 Habits from “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and teaches how they work within a family setting. He provides many different examples, stories, objects lessons, and facts to support and teach each Habit. I feel like this book is so full of good information it will be something that I need to continually come back and reference to. It’s more of a way of life then a book with a few good takeaways.
This book is all about changing a family from the “inside-out” and focusing on what is important- not necessary what is urgent. I can see how if these habits are put into practice (especially in the younger years) a family can thrive together through vision, communication, validation, and love. I appreciate my own parents caring enough to read and mark up this book and I hope that my children will feel the same when they are grown.
This book is all about changing a family from the “inside-out” and focusing on what is important- not necessary what is urgent. I can see how if these habits are put into practice (especially in the younger years) a family can thrive together through vision, communication, validation, and love. I appreciate my own parents caring enough to read and mark up this book and I hope that my children will feel the same when they are grown.
June 26, 2022
This book is great; even better for the person who is about to have children. The author, Stephen Covey, Discusses how one must talk with their child, in family. Important notes: how fathers should act and work in a family. They should have jobs and discipline and bring them (children) to work: raise them to form them into effective people
February 23, 2014
Covey targeted several troubled areas families face having children, and, or struggles with personal growth and positive productively with focus on ideas of mediated hope, inspiration, and faith pursuing all that which is granted to those who strive for healthy relationships.
These techniques Covey suggests, trains the brain to activate emotions of empathy, honor, sincerity, significance, straightforwardness that is rooting in the heart of us to release; awareness, ease and flow of reasonable understanding, compassion and love towards our loved ones.
A task that takes little effort, and plenty rewards.
I recommend this book for prospective parents, parents, guardians, caretakers of children, or anyone who cares enough about our young people who may struggle with peer pressure, abuse, self identify, drugs, alcohol, unruly behavior, rebelliousness, and other obstacles that can obstruct them from becoming productive members of self first.
This book inspired me to create this quote: “Until we examine all opportunities for examination: talks, support groups, readings, understanding, practices and positive people with inspiration of contributions and the production of loving and healthy relationships, then we can rest to sure that we openly and gracefully changed our circumstances for the betterment with our own hands.”
Peace and Blessings, Malikah
These techniques Covey suggests, trains the brain to activate emotions of empathy, honor, sincerity, significance, straightforwardness that is rooting in the heart of us to release; awareness, ease and flow of reasonable understanding, compassion and love towards our loved ones.
A task that takes little effort, and plenty rewards.
I recommend this book for prospective parents, parents, guardians, caretakers of children, or anyone who cares enough about our young people who may struggle with peer pressure, abuse, self identify, drugs, alcohol, unruly behavior, rebelliousness, and other obstacles that can obstruct them from becoming productive members of self first.
This book inspired me to create this quote: “Until we examine all opportunities for examination: talks, support groups, readings, understanding, practices and positive people with inspiration of contributions and the production of loving and healthy relationships, then we can rest to sure that we openly and gracefully changed our circumstances for the betterment with our own hands.”
Peace and Blessings, Malikah
October 11, 2021
Wonderful book, a lot of wisdom. I’ll be re-reading this one throughout my life. Would recommend to anyone.
By accepting people you’re not condoning their weakness or agreeing with their opinion; you’re simply affirming their intrinsic worth.
Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness.
The reality is that most families are over managed and under-led.
It’s not enough to say your family is important. If “family” is really going to be top priority, you have to “hunker down, suck it up, and make it happen!
So if you’re living your life around a temporary role and allowing your treasure chest to remain barren in terms of your only real permanent role, then you’re letting yourself be seduced by the culture and robbed of the true richness of your life—the deep and lasting satisfaction that only comes through family relationships.
if you organize your family life to spend even ten or fifteen minutes a morning reading something that connects you with these timeless principles, it’s almost guaranteed that you will make better choices during the day—in the family, on the job, in every dimension of life.
By accepting people you’re not condoning their weakness or agreeing with their opinion; you’re simply affirming their intrinsic worth.
Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness.
The reality is that most families are over managed and under-led.
It’s not enough to say your family is important. If “family” is really going to be top priority, you have to “hunker down, suck it up, and make it happen!
So if you’re living your life around a temporary role and allowing your treasure chest to remain barren in terms of your only real permanent role, then you’re letting yourself be seduced by the culture and robbed of the true richness of your life—the deep and lasting satisfaction that only comes through family relationships.
if you organize your family life to spend even ten or fifteen minutes a morning reading something that connects you with these timeless principles, it’s almost guaranteed that you will make better choices during the day—in the family, on the job, in every dimension of life.
March 4, 2012
I think the book has some really good information in it and lots of helpful stories. However, for me, the material wasn't fresh new material, therefore it was a little harder for me to get through the whole book. I felt like it beat a dead horse on most topics and could have been cut down from the 360+ pages (large ones too) to half that. However, in the books defense, I had previously read parts and pieces of the book, which helped make the material less useful. Also, I believe Dale Carnegies book covers much of the same material in far fewer words.
That said, it is a good book with many useful family specific stories and the information truly is powerful and potentiall life changing personally and for a family. I would guess that many would find it useful and would recommend anyone to read it if you're interesting in keeping your marriage strong, family strong, and all the individual relationships.
That said, it is a good book with many useful family specific stories and the information truly is powerful and potentiall life changing personally and for a family. I would guess that many would find it useful and would recommend anyone to read it if you're interesting in keeping your marriage strong, family strong, and all the individual relationships.
October 3, 2008
My mother gave all her married children this book for Christmas a few years back. It is a thoughtful and inspiring call to families to strengthen ties and heal realtionships. I had not read any of the popular "7 Habits" books, or related material, and I'm glad of it. This book seems to have been the underlying foundation for all Covey's other work. I was deeply touched by the sincere concern for families and by the strength of faith and purpose he expresses in this book. It is not simply a self-help book, and it is not a seminar read. I immediately put several points into action and reaped identifiable rewards in my own family. When I feel that we're doing well, I go back and review it, looking for ways we can improve even more. This book is a great primer for anyone wanting to navigate the exciting and frustrating journey of building a loving and effective family.
August 24, 2012
Even though I've had a lot of guides on how to raise a family correctly, this book gives specific ideas and slightly different concepts that really changed my way of viewing family relationships. I definitely want the type of family he describes and am excited to start a plan with my hubby to make it happen. I loved all the anecdotes and experiences included in the book (written by his children and other people who embraced the 7 Habits). To me they give specific examples of how I can apply the 7 habits in my life...which is often lacking in self-help books that are too general.
I recommend that every person who is part of a family read this book!!
(you'll want to read this one too. My husband started the audio version and even though it says it's unabridged...it doesn't have everything the book has, which to me, is abridged).
I recommend that every person who is part of a family read this book!!
(you'll want to read this one too. My husband started the audio version and even though it says it's unabridged...it doesn't have everything the book has, which to me, is abridged).
November 7, 2013
The things that stands out to me the most in this book is the bit written by Covey's wife, talking about finally "getting" what is important about family life as she is breastfeeding their 8th child, and examples of how they addressed various family crises and decisions with their kids.
They must have been so busy, with 8 kids and him on the road, yet they kept in mind the importance of balance between family, me time, their marriage and his career.
Really liked the toolkit as he explains for what worked for them and how to apply it.
The "family meetings" are a good concept in theory but would be difficult / ? not so effective for single parents (especially those with ex-partners uninterested in co-parenting) and withing small families.
But in terms of laying out a formula for maintaining balance within the busy-ness of family life, well worth a read and to refer back to.
They must have been so busy, with 8 kids and him on the road, yet they kept in mind the importance of balance between family, me time, their marriage and his career.
Really liked the toolkit as he explains for what worked for them and how to apply it.
The "family meetings" are a good concept in theory but would be difficult / ? not so effective for single parents (especially those with ex-partners uninterested in co-parenting) and withing small families.
But in terms of laying out a formula for maintaining balance within the busy-ness of family life, well worth a read and to refer back to.
September 16, 2014
For those who read The 7 habits for highly effective people, this is much more extracted version for members in family. The book is full of different stories and examples, which for some reason was killing the wonderful experience I got from "People" book. Yet Stephen R. Covey is one of the best authors in this area of human development globally.
I hope if Covey could create much more briefed version!
Merged review:
For those who read The 7 habits for highly effective people, this is much more extracted version for members in family. The book is full of different stories and examples, which for some reason was killing the wonderful experience I got from "People" book. Yet Stephen R. Covey is one of the best authors in this area of human development globally.
I hope if Covey could create much more briefed version!
I hope if Covey could create much more briefed version!
Merged review:
For those who read The 7 habits for highly effective people, this is much more extracted version for members in family. The book is full of different stories and examples, which for some reason was killing the wonderful experience I got from "People" book. Yet Stephen R. Covey is one of the best authors in this area of human development globally.
I hope if Covey could create much more briefed version!
July 17, 2012
This book is so worth reading. I loved it. Stephen R. Covey makes a good argument for taking courage to change important things in our lives, and gives great direction in how to implement his 7 habits. If you've also read his other 7 Habits book, don't be deceived into thinking you know all there is to know about the subject. This book takes a different approach and is very much focused on the family. However, it takes the commitment of an individual to make a change.
This book is not for the faint-hearted. Once you read it, unless you're completely satisfied with your family life, it will stay with you because you've now been introduced to a better way. It's truly a life changing event to read and consider this book. I'm glad I did! (I just wish that I'd read it 15 years ago!)
This book is not for the faint-hearted. Once you read it, unless you're completely satisfied with your family life, it will stay with you because you've now been introduced to a better way. It's truly a life changing event to read and consider this book. I'm glad I did! (I just wish that I'd read it 15 years ago!)
April 24, 2014
This book should be entitled "The applications of the 7 habits of highly effective people to families", but then it would not have become a top-seller. Most of the habits or principles promoted in the book are related to the 7 habits described in its cousin title. In general it would be easier for individuals who have mastered or trying to master the 7 habits to apply them to domestic matters. A man / woman / father/ mother that boasts positive outlook will most likely increase the happiness of a house. Having said that, it contains valuable lessons from harmonious families across generations. Like any other self-help techniques, however, significant effort and perseverance is to be spent to develop these habits. Will re-read this book later on.
June 11, 2009
about having family traditions and really listening to family members (aka kids)
very good, easy to read, learn and apply
Like a step by step strength training for families that we can adapt and grow with as our family changes.
Definitely easier to digest than the 7 Habits for Highly Effective People...
love the teen and kid versions too. Opens good conversations with our children, so we can all grow a healthy family together.
Now I understand why/how Thoughts lead to Feelings,
Feelings lead to Beliefs,
Beliefs lead to Actions,
Actions lead to Results,
Results lead to Thoughts,
and Thoughts again lead to Feelings,
etc...
interesting cycle in the stories of our lives.
very good, easy to read, learn and apply
Like a step by step strength training for families that we can adapt and grow with as our family changes.
Definitely easier to digest than the 7 Habits for Highly Effective People...
love the teen and kid versions too. Opens good conversations with our children, so we can all grow a healthy family together.
Now I understand why/how Thoughts lead to Feelings,
Feelings lead to Beliefs,
Beliefs lead to Actions,
Actions lead to Results,
Results lead to Thoughts,
and Thoughts again lead to Feelings,
etc...
interesting cycle in the stories of our lives.
August 25, 2011
Again, another great book from Stephen Covey. It took me a while to read, as I'd have to stop and think about what was just said, and ponder on how I'm doing with my family. Lots of great examples and stories to illustrate the principles of the 7 Habits, and suggestions on how to use each chapter with your family. This is not a book to read once and then put away, it needs to be a reference book available for frequent reviews. Much of the material is "common sense", which seems so hard to follow in real life. The focus on the family is foundational to improving society in general, and the principles shown in this book will help you work with your family in creating this change.
July 8, 2014
It only took me two years to finish this book since I got stuck on page 97. But once I started reading again in late June 2014; I understood WHY this book and Stephen Covey's more notable one, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, is well-cited in business and parenting circles. Covey's principles are applicable today. This is not a light read but this will be a reference I will definitely return to time and time again.
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