What do you think?
Rate this book
Psychology: You Might Be a Narcissist If....
You Might Be a Narcissist If... How to Identify Narcissism in Ourselves and Others and What We Can Do About It
Why is this relationship so hard? It is so invigorating to know that we don't have to stay stuck even if we're not the one struggling with narcissism, we can change the way we relate to the people who do.
Find out if the stress in your relationships with family, friends, or at work is unknowingly caused from narcissism in yourself or others... Narcissism is actually much more common than we may think and, in reality, most of us have some of these characteristics.
You Might Be a Narcissist If... was written by two psychotherapists and a psychiatrist with decades of both personal and professional experience with narcissism. It is filled with many interesting-to-read stories taken from the authors' or their clients' lives that clearly demonstrate examples of narcissism. A Narcissism Questionnaire and practical suggestions are given for dealing with narcissism whether it's in your spouse, a co-worker, or even yourself.
Why is this relationship so hard? It is so invigorating to know that we don't have to stay stuck even if we're not the one struggling with narcissism, we can change the way we relate to the people who do.
Find out if the stress in your relationships with family, friends, or at work is unknowingly caused from narcissism in yourself or others... Narcissism is actually much more common than we may think and, in reality, most of us have some of these characteristics.
You Might Be a Narcissist If... was written by two psychotherapists and a psychiatrist with decades of both personal and professional experience with narcissism. It is filled with many interesting-to-read stories taken from the authors' or their clients' lives that clearly demonstrate examples of narcissism. A Narcissism Questionnaire and practical suggestions are given for dealing with narcissism whether it's in your spouse, a co-worker, or even yourself.
- GenresPsychologyMental Health
111 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2009
36 people are currently reading
216 people want to read
About the author
Paul D. Meier
97 books14 followersExtract of DR. Paul Meier's biography on the website of the Meier Clinics:
Paul Meier is an MD/Psychiatrist/Ordained Minister who is the founder of the national chain of non-profit Christian psychiatry clinics, the Meier Clinics. He has authored or co-authored over 80 books, mostly Christian self-help books like Love is a Choice and Happiness is a Choice, and also a series of Bible Prophecy novels, including The Third Millennium.
Paul Meier is an MD/Psychiatrist/Ordained Minister who is the founder of the national chain of non-profit Christian psychiatry clinics, the Meier Clinics. He has authored or co-authored over 80 books, mostly Christian self-help books like Love is a Choice and Happiness is a Choice, and also a series of Bible Prophecy novels, including The Third Millennium.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
September 29, 2011
I am happy to say that I am not a full fledged narcissist. Though, I did match several of the questions given in the book (for a list of the questions, read my blog post: http://sarahkaake.blogspot.com/2011/0...)
The first thing I liked about this book was its small size. However, for such a quick read it packs a punch. The book does a good job of giving different scenarios and helpful tips on how to deal with different narcissistic types.
I got this from the library, but I can see it being a good reference to go back to again and again as you encounter different people in life, that I'm considering buying it.
Overall, I would say this book is a must if you are at all interested in why certain people behave the way they do. You may find that there are some narcissists in your life that you didn't even know about. And, it might help answer the question as to why a certain person acts the way he or she does.
The first thing I liked about this book was its small size. However, for such a quick read it packs a punch. The book does a good job of giving different scenarios and helpful tips on how to deal with different narcissistic types.
I got this from the library, but I can see it being a good reference to go back to again and again as you encounter different people in life, that I'm considering buying it.
Overall, I would say this book is a must if you are at all interested in why certain people behave the way they do. You may find that there are some narcissists in your life that you didn't even know about. And, it might help answer the question as to why a certain person acts the way he or she does.
March 17, 2024
This book was way more convicting of narcissism in my own life than I expected. I read it as a practical guide for recognizing and shepherding through narcissistic traits in those I love. Didn’t realize how blatantly prideful that perspective was.
But still, this was a simple, practical, and clear book on the psychology and pathology of narcissism.
While I found this book rewarding to read, I’d probably only recommend it to a few people. But there are questions for self-reflection that I’d think are worth sharing with anyone who truly loves caring for people.
But still, this was a simple, practical, and clear book on the psychology and pathology of narcissism.
While I found this book rewarding to read, I’d probably only recommend it to a few people. But there are questions for self-reflection that I’d think are worth sharing with anyone who truly loves caring for people.
April 26, 2014
Great little primer.I just broke up with my boyfriend who I now realise, exhibited all the characteristics, especially, lack of empathy and intimacy. I’m harbouring the crazy idea of mailing a copy of this book to him but that’s the problem with narcissists - they’re blind to their own problems that they would never even consider picking up a book with this title. It would force them to take a look inside themselves and that’s the last thing they want to do.
Read
October 18, 2019I found this book very difficult and made me angry .. why ? Because Lisa Charlebois was my therapist for fourteen years .. I went to her to resolve childhood issues only it ended up her involving my husband has her clients with out my consent.. towards the end she would say I’m Narcissistic then my husband was .. the fact is that right before I was done with her she revealed that she was Narcissistic and had a book coming out . She messed up my life and from her I can’t trust anyone.. Beware of wolves dressed in sheep’s clothing . Honestly I tell the truth .
September 22, 2011
For more information on "You Might Be a Narcissist If..." visit http://www.youmightbeanarcissistif.com
June 15, 2024
3.2 stars
I am glad that the red flag is revealed straight away when Paul clearly admits he is high in trait narcissism. That said, there have recently been many self proclaimed narcissist's happy to expose themselves publicly on social media in an effort to educate the public in an area they feel personal expertise. (i know, shocking... sarcasm intended) I use the "red flag" label in these situations as one needs to keep in mind that the commentary is ultimately tailored to the needs of those high in narcissism rather than those of those dealing with them. Paul's deep understanding and empathy of the character capacities of those high in narcissism is clear but also difficult when weighed with the consequences others must endure in light of this behaviour. Essentially, to make the relationship work, it has to be in favour of the narcissistic which results in a one sided relationship. And is this really healthy for anyone?
The author advises to show great empathy and understanding to not trigger the narcissistic individual while reiterating their strengths to sustain their fragile confidence. He advises to not show your true self as it's perceived as a threat thus one must become someone else. The sacrifice is honesty and authenticity. The only dynamic this makes sense in is if you are in a situation you are forced to interact with this person, such as work. I would not even recommend sustaining familial relationships in this way as Paul does. But I do appreciate how difficult these situations can be and walking away isn't always an option.
There is little empathy or compassion concerning the abused persons, what to do when left with the pieces of a shattered life or healing in the example stories.
Helpful information:
1. learning to co-exist with those high in trait narcissism
2. identifying narcissistic traits one may not be aware of in themselves
3. clear boundaries on what is a workable situation with narcissistic persons and what isn't
4. coming to terms with their inability to have an emotionally healthy relationship by letting go of expectations they will never meet and grieving the loss of the relationship you want
I am glad that the red flag is revealed straight away when Paul clearly admits he is high in trait narcissism. That said, there have recently been many self proclaimed narcissist's happy to expose themselves publicly on social media in an effort to educate the public in an area they feel personal expertise. (i know, shocking... sarcasm intended) I use the "red flag" label in these situations as one needs to keep in mind that the commentary is ultimately tailored to the needs of those high in narcissism rather than those of those dealing with them. Paul's deep understanding and empathy of the character capacities of those high in narcissism is clear but also difficult when weighed with the consequences others must endure in light of this behaviour. Essentially, to make the relationship work, it has to be in favour of the narcissistic which results in a one sided relationship. And is this really healthy for anyone?
The author advises to show great empathy and understanding to not trigger the narcissistic individual while reiterating their strengths to sustain their fragile confidence. He advises to not show your true self as it's perceived as a threat thus one must become someone else. The sacrifice is honesty and authenticity. The only dynamic this makes sense in is if you are in a situation you are forced to interact with this person, such as work. I would not even recommend sustaining familial relationships in this way as Paul does. But I do appreciate how difficult these situations can be and walking away isn't always an option.
There is little empathy or compassion concerning the abused persons, what to do when left with the pieces of a shattered life or healing in the example stories.
Helpful information:
1. learning to co-exist with those high in trait narcissism
2. identifying narcissistic traits one may not be aware of in themselves
3. clear boundaries on what is a workable situation with narcissistic persons and what isn't
4. coming to terms with their inability to have an emotionally healthy relationship by letting go of expectations they will never meet and grieving the loss of the relationship you want
January 8, 2021
این کتاب به زبان ساده و با مثال های خیلی ملموس و واقعی به شما کمک می کند تا شخصیت خودشیفته را بشناسید و بفهمید که در دنیای ذهن و روان او چه می گذرد؛ گذشته اش چه بوده و چرا این طور فکر، احساس و رفتار می کند.
از عنوان کتاب به سادگی می توانید تفاوت آن را با دیگر کتاب های نگاشته شده درباره این موضوع ببینید:
شخصیت خودشیفته علی رغم مخرَب بودنش، غول بی شاخ و دم نیست و همین طور از روی خودخواهی تصمیم نگرفته چنین باشد.
شما هم ممکن است خودشیفته باشید، لااقل تا حدّی.
بله درست است. خودشیفتگی خطرناک است، آدم خودشیفته می تواند «آدم سمّی» باشد، باید بلد باشیم آدم خودشیفته را «خلع سلاح» کنیم یا در برابر رفتارهای آسیب زایش از خودمان محافظت کنیم.
امّا
امّا
در این روایت، دیگر خودشیفتگی بیماری مهلک لاعلاج نیست، به خصوص اگر روزی روزگاری یک خودشیفتهٔ واقعی به این کتاب بر بخورد و یاد بگیرد که با نگاه همدلانه و مشفقانه ای نقاط ضعف خودش را بشناسد.
شما هم با خواندن این کتاب نگاه همدلانه تری نسبت به خودشیفته ها -و شاید ویژگی های نارسیستیک خودتان- پیدا می کنید.
به نظر من این نگاه همدلانه برای کسی که «قربانی» رابطه با یک خودشیفته است، می تواند زندگی را آسان تر کند.
و برای کسی که «قربانی» ویژگی های نارسیستیک خودش باشد، فرصتی است برای بخشیدن خود و فکر کردن به رشد و تغییر.
از عنوان کتاب به سادگی می توانید تفاوت آن را با دیگر کتاب های نگاشته شده درباره این موضوع ببینید:
شخصیت خودشیفته علی رغم مخرَب بودنش، غول بی شاخ و دم نیست و همین طور از روی خودخواهی تصمیم نگرفته چنین باشد.
شما هم ممکن است خودشیفته باشید، لااقل تا حدّی.
بله درست است. خودشیفتگی خطرناک است، آدم خودشیفته می تواند «آدم سمّی» باشد، باید بلد باشیم آدم خودشیفته را «خلع سلاح» کنیم یا در برابر رفتارهای آسیب زایش از خودمان محافظت کنیم.
امّا
امّا
در این روایت، دیگر خودشیفتگی بیماری مهلک لاعلاج نیست، به خصوص اگر روزی روزگاری یک خودشیفتهٔ واقعی به این کتاب بر بخورد و یاد بگیرد که با نگاه همدلانه و مشفقانه ای نقاط ضعف خودش را بشناسد.
شما هم با خواندن این کتاب نگاه همدلانه تری نسبت به خودشیفته ها -و شاید ویژگی های نارسیستیک خودتان- پیدا می کنید.
به نظر من این نگاه همدلانه برای کسی که «قربانی» رابطه با یک خودشیفته است، می تواند زندگی را آسان تر کند.
و برای کسی که «قربانی» ویژگی های نارسیستیک خودش باشد، فرصتی است برای بخشیدن خود و فکر کردن به رشد و تغییر.
May 17, 2021
This is one of the most empathetic looks at narcissism that I have ever come across. Unlike most books on the topic, that are ironically geared at “empaths” and paint an incredibly black and white (an almost Harry Potter view of the world of Death Eaters versus good witches), this feels like a more realistic and objective look at narcissism and the people affected by narcissists. Living in America in this era, narcissism is rampant because that is our culture. It is hard to escape it. That doesn’t mean it is healthy or acceptable though. I think we would all be better off if we acknowledged and worked towards changing our own narcissism.
This does not really address severe NPD, but more like the all too common subclinical narcissistic tendencies that almost all of us have to some degree.
This does not really address severe NPD, but more like the all too common subclinical narcissistic tendencies that almost all of us have to some degree.
August 27, 2014
A good (and brief) introduction to understanding narcissistic personality disorder and the varying degrees of narcissism. It helped me to understand why a true narcissist does what he does. I bought the book hoping to gain a level of understanding about a loved one. It was very helpful.
The book is, in a way, a "how to" on interacting with narcissists. How and when to stand firm, how not to play into their warped (and often sad) view of the world, and how understanding the disorder can bring a level of compassion for the individual. The plethora of examples given really helped to show the different facets of someone with narcissistic personality disorder and how they interacted with family. A great, quick read.
The book is, in a way, a "how to" on interacting with narcissists. How and when to stand firm, how not to play into their warped (and often sad) view of the world, and how understanding the disorder can bring a level of compassion for the individual. The plethora of examples given really helped to show the different facets of someone with narcissistic personality disorder and how they interacted with family. A great, quick read.
August 13, 2016
Refreshing, comforting, empowering.
September 5, 2014
Fantastic book. Relatable and readable.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews