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The Liturgical Mystery #12
The Cantor Wore Crinolines
Hayden Konig has always been lucky. As a detective, he's top-notch. As the organist at St. Barnabas Church, he's been tickling the ivories for close to twenty years. He's rich, his wife is the best looking woman in three counties, he lives in a big cabin in the woods - he has a dog, a gun, a CD collection, and a truck.Yet he is not content. He has one dream left to realize. He longs to be a noir detective writer like his hero, Raymond Chandler. In a desperate attempt to channel some of the master's wordplay, Hayden has purchased Mr. Chandler's old typewriter - a 1939 Underwood No. 5. It doesn't help.Even as Hayden works on his new opus, he must deal with other, more pressing problems. Groundhog Day isn't usually a liturgical holiday, but when the new Anglo-Catholic priest decides that a Candlemas Evensong on February 2nd is in order, what can the choir do but comply? As "St. Groundelmas" approaches, three dead bodies turn up, and the clues point to a trashy murder mystery being read by the Blue Hill Bookworms. Will the St. Germaine PD get everything wrapped up before the groundhog sees his shadow?"Hey," says Hayden, "how hard can it be?"Hayden Konig's 12th mysteryIt's not what you expect...it's even funnier!
194 pages, Paperback
First published August 1, 2013
17 people are currently reading
83 people want to read
About the author
Mark Schweizer
36 books82 followersIn 1974, Mark Schweizer, a brand-new high-school graduate decided to eschew the family architectural business and become an opera singer. Against all prevailing wisdom and despite jokes from his peers such as "What does the music major say after his first job interview?" (answer: You want fries with that?), he enrolled in the Music School at Stetson University. To his father, the rationale was obvious. No math requirement.
Everything happens for a reason, however, and he now lives and works as a musician, composer, author and publisher in Tryon, North Carolina with his lovely wife, Donis. If anyone finds out what he’s up to, he’ll have to go back to work at Mr. Steak. He actually has a bunch of degrees, including a Doctor of Musical Arts from the University of Arizona. I know! What were they thinking?
In the field of bad writing, Mark had the distinction of receiving a Dishonorable Mention in the 2006 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, an annual contest in which the entrants compete for the dubious honor of having composed the worst opening sentence to an imaginary novel. In 2007, his sentence now found on page 17 of The Mezzo Wore Mink was runner-up in the Detective Category. This, and two other of his entries, were featured in It Was A Dark and Stormy Night: A Collection of the Worst Fiction Ever Written, edited by Scott Rice and published by The Friday Project.
In varying stages of his career, Mark has waited tables, written articles for Collgehumor.com, won opera competitions, sung oratorios, taught in college music departments, raised pot-bellied pigs and hedgehogs, directed church choirs, sung the bass solo to Beethoven’s 9th with the Atlanta Symphony, hosted a classical music radio show, taught in a seminary, sung recitals, started a regional opera company, published choral music, built a log cabin, written opera librettos, directed stage productions, helped his wife to raise their two children and managed to remain married for thirty-two years. He also owns several chainsaws.
“Well,” Donis says, “it’s never boring.
In the fall of 2001, I began what I hoped would be a funny little book about an Episcopal choir director/ detective that had a flair for bad writing. Now, nine years later, that book, The Alto Wore Tweed, has had its ninth printing and the rest of the books (bad writing aside) are winning awards and working hard to catch up. Thanks to you, the Hayden Konig adventures continue to make their way into the hands of mystery lovers and across church choirs, one reader and singer at a time.
Everything happens for a reason, however, and he now lives and works as a musician, composer, author and publisher in Tryon, North Carolina with his lovely wife, Donis. If anyone finds out what he’s up to, he’ll have to go back to work at Mr. Steak. He actually has a bunch of degrees, including a Doctor of Musical Arts from the University of Arizona. I know! What were they thinking?
In the field of bad writing, Mark had the distinction of receiving a Dishonorable Mention in the 2006 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, an annual contest in which the entrants compete for the dubious honor of having composed the worst opening sentence to an imaginary novel. In 2007, his sentence now found on page 17 of The Mezzo Wore Mink was runner-up in the Detective Category. This, and two other of his entries, were featured in It Was A Dark and Stormy Night: A Collection of the Worst Fiction Ever Written, edited by Scott Rice and published by The Friday Project.
In varying stages of his career, Mark has waited tables, written articles for Collgehumor.com, won opera competitions, sung oratorios, taught in college music departments, raised pot-bellied pigs and hedgehogs, directed church choirs, sung the bass solo to Beethoven’s 9th with the Atlanta Symphony, hosted a classical music radio show, taught in a seminary, sung recitals, started a regional opera company, published choral music, built a log cabin, written opera librettos, directed stage productions, helped his wife to raise their two children and managed to remain married for thirty-two years. He also owns several chainsaws.
“Well,” Donis says, “it’s never boring.
In the fall of 2001, I began what I hoped would be a funny little book about an Episcopal choir director/ detective that had a flair for bad writing. Now, nine years later, that book, The Alto Wore Tweed, has had its ninth printing and the rest of the books (bad writing aside) are winning awards and working hard to catch up. Thanks to you, the Hayden Konig adventures continue to make their way into the hands of mystery lovers and across church choirs, one reader and singer at a time.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews
February 2, 2018
Another good one.
February 4, 2019
This is, to this point, the best of the series. The mystery is almost Morsesque in its use of red herrings and dead ends, and the story gives us more about the characters we have come to know and love over the previous 11 novels. I stayed up too late for several nights reading this one.
August 20, 2014
A genuinely funny liturgical mystery ( #12 in the series) which kept me up most of the night chuckling and giggling.
A former pastor got me hooked on this very funny quirky set of mysteries featuring small town police chief and local church choir director Hayden Konig. All the action takes place in the mountains of North Carolina just down the road from Jan Karon's burg. There any similarity ends as this town is full of goofy and quirky characters some of whom are in the choir at St. Barnabas Episcopal church. Each book, of course features a murder, this one features 3.
Most of the humor comes from the problems that St Barnabas has in securing a normal priest. They've had a few winners, but mostly they end up with some of the goofiest and strangest practitioners of faith this side of England. This new book features a new and horrible priest. Father Galus Dressler is a priest who is more catholic than Anglican. He decides that the choir needs to walk up the aisle at the beginning of the service and get down on one knee and genuflect. With most of the choir's of an age where walking is a big deal, much less kneeling so you know this causes quite an angry stir. Then Father Dressler hires The Chevalier Lancelot Fleagle ( preferring to be known as The Chevalier)to lead the choir.He brings back ruffs! Now the choir has difficulty not only walking but breathing!
A former pastor got me hooked on this very funny quirky set of mysteries featuring small town police chief and local church choir director Hayden Konig. All the action takes place in the mountains of North Carolina just down the road from Jan Karon's burg. There any similarity ends as this town is full of goofy and quirky characters some of whom are in the choir at St. Barnabas Episcopal church. Each book, of course features a murder, this one features 3.
Most of the humor comes from the problems that St Barnabas has in securing a normal priest. They've had a few winners, but mostly they end up with some of the goofiest and strangest practitioners of faith this side of England. This new book features a new and horrible priest. Father Galus Dressler is a priest who is more catholic than Anglican. He decides that the choir needs to walk up the aisle at the beginning of the service and get down on one knee and genuflect. With most of the choir's of an age where walking is a big deal, much less kneeling so you know this causes quite an angry stir. Then Father Dressler hires The Chevalier Lancelot Fleagle ( preferring to be known as The Chevalier)to lead the choir.He brings back ruffs! Now the choir has difficulty not only walking but breathing!
February 19, 2014
Wonderfully fanciful combined hard boiled detective story and piece of fluff! Many thanks to John Marshall at Seattle's Episcopal Bookstore for introducing me to this delightful read!
January 18, 2020
It is still all there. Hayden Konig is the chief of police in Saint Germaine, North Carolina and organist-choir director at Saint Barnabas' Church. He and his lively life Meg live in the woods with their Bernese mountain dog and their owl. He "runs" a police department of three; Nancy is the lieutenant and Dave answers the phone. He entertains the varied and interesting members of the choir with whatever "novel" he is working on at the moment. He bought the actual Underwood typewriter used by Raymond Chandler, his idol, on which to compose. He attempts the noir genre of detective fiction to describe the cases of a liturgical detective. In this one, titled "The Cantor Wore Crinolines," the detective is investigating a plot by some whacky Episcopal bishops to combine the Feast of the Presentation with Groundhog Day thereby creating Saint Groundlemas. The clergy come and go: the most recent departure was the Rev. Dr. Rosemary Pepperpot-Cohosh (the one who so liked liturgical dance that she scheduled tap dancers during Holy Week) and the most recent arrival was an interim, Father Gallus Dressler, an Anglo-Catholic, and the Chevalier Lance Feagle, his organist-choir director, who replaced Hayden while he took sabbatical. Oh, and somebody dies. In this, the eleventh in the series, three somebodies die and there is reason to believe that a fourth is in jeopardy. The whole experience of reading this quite wonderful book is sobered by the knowledge that author Mark Schweitzer died 9 November 2019, after bringing the series to a conclusion with “The Choir Director Wore Out” (2018). I have the complete set; they are all autographed by Mark. I corresponded with him over time and will miss him (and this world he created) deeply.
June 7, 2019
So much fun!
Another great St. Germaine saga. St. Barnabas sure has trouble with their interim priests. Add 3 murders and Candlemas mayhem, and I almost dropped my Kindlle several times from laughing so hard.
Another great St. Germaine saga. St. Barnabas sure has trouble with their interim priests. Add 3 murders and Candlemas mayhem, and I almost dropped my Kindlle several times from laughing so hard.
July 8, 2023
These books are gems and this one was particularly hilarious. If you like punny small town cozies with creatively named characters, an unforgettable cast of locals and over the top plotting, this might be for you. The author's affectionate skewering of church politics is laugh out loud funny.
November 4, 2017
😁. Nothing else to say.
January 20, 2018
Nothing new or terribly surprising, but nonetheless very fun.
September 4, 2019
Another great book. The real action and laughing takes place late in the storyline!!
January 26, 2020
Another visit to the little town of St. Germaine, murder capitol of the carolinas as small towns go.
April 7, 2025
Another fun tale by Mark Schweizer.
December 1, 2016
bwaaaa hahahahahahahaha
August 26, 2016
Full Disclosure -- I'm a fan of Mark Schweizer's series of "How to Have Fun with Episcopalians" tongue-in-cheek mystery novels. How can you not love a series where the hero police chief is also the choir director and hides a pistol in the organ bench. What ius most fun to me is his continuously growing cast of characters. In the latest novel, we meet the new Rector at St. Barnabas, Father Gallius Dressler and his hand-picked music director who asks to be called "Chevalier."
Of course there is a crime plot involving three dead women found stuffed in closets of houses for sale. And the killer is eventually found out. But not before mirth and ecclesiastical mayhem involving the good folk of St. Barnabas, the "veterinary emergency squad" and a groundhog stir up another kind of trouble.
And our hero chief completes his latest draft of classically bad crime fiction.,
Of course there is a crime plot involving three dead women found stuffed in closets of houses for sale. And the killer is eventually found out. But not before mirth and ecclesiastical mayhem involving the good folk of St. Barnabas, the "veterinary emergency squad" and a groundhog stir up another kind of trouble.
And our hero chief completes his latest draft of classically bad crime fiction.,
October 10, 2013
Another winner about murder in the hill town of St. Germaine, NC, and the ... odd people who live there.
Three bodies are found frozen in three different houses that just sold at auction, but that's not how they died. Then how? And why? Was there some connection between them?
Meanwhile, Hayden Konig, Chief of Police in St. Germaine, and the organist for his church, is on sabbatical from his music duties, and the new minister has brought in a replacement organist who thinks he will take over permanently.
Will the new minister adjust to the ... peculiarities of the congregation? Will the new organist change everything the choir does?
Highly recommended, especially if you like the sort of screwball mystery that Craig Rice wrote.
Three bodies are found frozen in three different houses that just sold at auction, but that's not how they died. Then how? And why? Was there some connection between them?
Meanwhile, Hayden Konig, Chief of Police in St. Germaine, and the organist for his church, is on sabbatical from his music duties, and the new minister has brought in a replacement organist who thinks he will take over permanently.
Will the new minister adjust to the ... peculiarities of the congregation? Will the new organist change everything the choir does?
Highly recommended, especially if you like the sort of screwball mystery that Craig Rice wrote.
January 10, 2016
Fun read, typical of this Schweizer series: interesting and by now, well-loved characters, a mystery, and a hilarious novella within the novel; Police Chief Hayden Koenig is an aspiring author, after all. As in just about every one of the previous novels in the series, there are laugh-out-loud moments and a true mystery to solve, all interwoven with the antics of the St. Barnabas church choir, clergy, and congregation. I loved the book but was distracted throughout by way too many grammatical errors. Quotation marks appeared where not needed or appropriate, many misspelled words, or rather uses of the wrong word. It appears that no one proofed the book, or the wrong person(s) proofed it. The errors were unfortunate and for that reason, 4 stars.
April 6, 2014
I always enjoy the books in this entertaining series, not least because like Hayden Koenig I'm an Episcopal organist. They're unfailingly funny and imaginative. BUT they desperately need an editor!! It's always been bad, but this latest book has so many missing words, awful punctuation, misspellings, etc., that my enjoyment of it was severely diminished. I beg the publisher and Mr. Schweitzer to pay much more attention to cleaning this up before publishing future additions to this series. If they don't want to do it, I'll gladly offer my proof-reading services, free of charge!
October 16, 2013
As is often the case with Schweizer, the mystery is solved by the author (in fact, he gloats about the use of Deux et Machina in his protagonist's own "mystery"), but it's a fascinating one. But what really makes the book a treat is the hilarious Episcopal humor focused this time on a pair of Anglo-Catholic clergy whose sensibilities are tested by the characters in the congregation during an unusual convergence of Candlemas and Groundhog Day.
January 20, 2016
Another liturgical mystery solved as Chief Konig continues his dual path as Chief of Police in St Germaine North Carolina and organist at St Barnabas' church.
Another interim priest comes and goes, a highest of a high-church Anglo-Catholic this time and a big change from Mother Peppercorn-Cohosh. Not necessarily a good change, but a big one.
Silly, light entertainment, full of puns and inside music and church jokes. Lots of light-hearted fun.
Another interim priest comes and goes, a highest of a high-church Anglo-Catholic this time and a big change from Mother Peppercorn-Cohosh. Not necessarily a good change, but a big one.
Silly, light entertainment, full of puns and inside music and church jokes. Lots of light-hearted fun.
January 5, 2014
While the characters remain as fun and enjoyable as in each of the liturgical mysteries, the plot in this latest book is thin and the main character's mystery writing within the book was not of the caliber of previous efforts. So while this was fun to read, I am hoping for more from the 13th in the series.
November 4, 2013
AS with his other books this is delightfully funny, even silly. Schweizer's books are funny cover to cover. Don't skip the reviews in the front. I laugh out loud. The only reason I don't read half of it to my husband is that I don't want to spoil it for him.
December 4, 2013
Excellent as usual. Couldn't quit laughing. The only problem is Schweizer doesn't write them fast enough.
December 26, 2013
funny from cover to cover
January 12, 2014
Laugh-out-loud funny. Made my week!
August 5, 2014
Another fun summer read by Mark Schweizer.
December 28, 2015
Loved this series for all sort of reasons, but the last few have been disappointing. This one restores my faith in it. Lots of fun.
July 15, 2014
A light hearted read that pokes fun at itself while entertaining. I have enjoyed this entire series immensely.
September 16, 2014
I really enjoyed these books! I love the characters, the situations, and the feel of the town....made me miss North Carolina!
Keep writing, please!!
Keep writing, please!!
December 28, 2014
I love this series - word puns, music puns, liturgy pun....
August 19, 2015
Loved it. Can't accept that this might be the last in the series. I want more!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews