Trying Differently Rather Than Harder: Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders

by Diane Malbin

This book provides a readable, narrative discussion of the neurobehavioral approach for working effectively with children, adolescents and adults with FASD. After a brief review of the diagnosis, the focus is on understanding behaviors differently - primary, secondary and tertiary behavioral characteristics. One section explores the most common behavioral symptoms by providing case examples, interventions, and improved outcomes. The neurobehavioral approach in Trying Differently Rather Than Harder is illustrated by stories of how alternative interventions lead to less frustration.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Adoption, Fostering

84 pages, Perfect Paperback

First published January 1, 2002

Reviews

[Summer Hillesheim · Rating 5 out of 5]

excellent

So clearly written and so very helpful. I’ve read it several times already! I am more able to understand and help my children because of this book!

[Sarah Lilienthal · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must-read for anyone working with kids-- teachers, social workers, foster parents, coaches, librarians, doctors-- ANYONE who works with kids will benefit from reading this and becoming educated on the physical brain differences of children exposed to substances in utero. Lots of good information alongside some practical tips for how to adapt the child's environment and set her up for success.

[Apzmarshl · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love that this was short and to the point. Realizing that there is brain damage causing a disability, instead of disobedience and lying, helps me understand how to consider slow processing speed, dysmaturity, and difficulty generalizing. Then I can make necessary interventions to help control the environment instead of trying to manage the behaviors.

[Alex Rohani · Rating 5 out of 5]

While the title suggests the book is focused on FASD/FAS, most of the information found in the book is applicable to many kids and youth. Highly recommend for any parents, teachers or guardians that believe they could use some help in creating the most positive, loving and welcoming environment for their children.

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is amazing. It is a must read for anyone who's life is affected by FASD. Likewise, it should be mandatory reading for, teachers, therapists, foster parents, adoptive parents, pediatric doctors, etc.

[Mujer4christ · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love that this seems as if it was written for literally everybody to walk away with a better understanding and compassion for those with FAS and FASD! The size, diagrams and many real life stories makes this difficult topic very digestible.

[Lindsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lot of helpful information.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very informative. I liked the section about finding different solutions to problems based on the capacity of each individual's brain.

[Carmen Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish this provided more practical things but it was incredibly validating 🖤

[Sadie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was recommended to all foster parents through our fostering agency whether or not the children we are fostering are believed to have FASD or utero drug exposure.

Excellent resource — I think this should be a read for all foster parents, as we never fully know the history of the children in our care, and a huge percentage of children in care have cases involving parental drug abuse.

This book is easy to read. I think it should also be read and discussed in the parenting classes specifically for parents whose children are in DCS custody, if their case is opened for any drug or alcohol related issues. There is no stigma in this book to mothers that drank throughout their pregnancy — it is proactive instead of reactive. It is practical, helpful, and to the point. It talks a lot about the need for reframing and using different approaches to meeting our children at their developmental needs.

“People [with FASD/drug exposure] have, by definition, differences in their brains. They have a physical disability…thinking about behaviors as symptoms of a physical disability expands options for developing effective parenting and professional techniques” (p. 55).

[Kristina Hurd · Rating 4 out of 5]

“I hear people say that we need to ‘toughen the kids up’ and prepare them for the ‘real world.’ Children, adolescents and adults with FASD are in the real world. They just happen to have a handicapping condition that doesn’t simply go away because they grow older. This suggests the importance of providing information about FASD to entire communities in order to assure continued support. There may be no facet of a community for whom this information is irrelevant; this includes parents, schools, medical, social and mental health services, employers and the judicial system.”

This was a small but very helpful book on FASD. The more I learn and read about FASD the more I’m amazed that I haven’t heard more or been taught more about it in the past.

4 stars - helpful. Would recommend to anyone who wants to learn more about Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder.

[Katie Garrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a great and helpful book for anyone who has someone with an FASD in their lives. I wish that everyone in my daughter’s life would read this book—teachers, doctors, therapists, family members, friends, etc in order to better understand FAS and our family. This book is one big step in helping us to change our parenting and our environment to make for success and improvements in our home.

[Karen Linton · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a must read if you are a teacher, para, bus driver, caregiver of any sort of a child with an FASD. Even if the child is a friend of your child’s, it’s a must read.

We call it the FASD Bible around our house, and we refer to it often. I’ve gifted copies to more teachers and administrators than I can count. For my grandkids, for other kids who are mis- or un-, under diagnosed…this really is the best read to get started on the road to working with children and adults with FASDs.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fantastic book with very helpful information for working with young people with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder. I highly recommend this book for care-givers working with young people with FASD. I wish this book had provided more information about how to coach young people to have successful social interactions with other people (friends and family).

[Alisha Goll · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish that the information contained in this short book was widely known, especially by those who work with children and adolescents. To think of behavior challenges and dysmaturity as perhaps being due to changes in the brain rather than willful behavior can lead to more compassion and understanding. I wish I had read this years ago.

[Mike · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much practical advice for parenting and schooling those with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder. So upset that we didn't understand our son better when he was alive. But there's hope for others. We plan on sharing this with schools.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Trying Differently Rather than Harder is a short read about FASD. It gives information about the causes and diagnosis, as well as examples of strategies to help individuals with FASD. This is the perfect introduction to FASD for parents, teachers, therapists, and adults who have FASD.

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an eye-opening book, and it’s also quite hopeful by the end. There are numerous examples of how to try differently. For any caregiver of kids with FASD, I highly recommend this book. To the author, I’m sending you hugs.

[sologdin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Effective presentation of how to manage and assist persons with FASD. One must not push beyond the limit that the afflicted person has established; one must learn a different manner of interaction.

[A · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I could give this book 6 (or 10) stars, and I wish I’d had it earlier. SO practical, and the fact that it is a quick read makes it even more awesome for this busy mom.

[Ford · Rating 5 out of 5]

It helped me to understand more about FASD and how to help people with this disorder. Most of her adaptations will work better when dealing with any people.
Very easy to read and only 75 pages.

[Kristine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great quick read to summarize issues about FAS/FASD etc.

[Emily Perrin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend! Filled with practical examples and easy to read.

[Calley · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are an educator you should read this book!

[Katie Lynn · Rating 1 out of 5]

Glorified pamphlet

[Mary Rachel Fenrick · Rating 4 out of 5]

Shirt and to the point. Really helped me understand and give more grace to my child with FASD.

[Loraena · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is very accessible and helpful. One of our kids may suffer effects of FASD and the other suffered the early traumas associated with living her first 5 years in an orphanage, and that affects brain development similarly. Great book to share with teachers or others who need help understanding invisible disabilities.

[Yvonne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is THE foundational book for anyone who wants to or should understand what fetal alcohol spectrum disorder is, how its symptoms are misunderstood and mistaken for “bad” behaviour (disrespectful, willful, purposeful) which if not accommodated can turn to adverse outcomes. Despite being “named” as a disorder (FAS) 50 years ago, this disorder remains largely misunderstood.

It is broken into an introduction of what FASD is, primary, secondary and tertiary characteristics, traditional behaviour interventions, identifying strengths and talents, effective interventions, as well as examples and frequently asked questions.

This book can be read in one sitting, but definitely needs to be reviewed thoroughly to take all the information in and should remain a resource that one goes back to when needed.

Understanding this approach and using it does not come easy for many. There are some groups that are dedicated to it and I would suggest if you struggle with implementing it or just would benefit from support from others you seek out a group.

There have been calls over the years to provide an updated version with more examples but I haven’t seen one. We know strategies are examples and everyone is unique, but examples would be useful.

Great book though. It is written in a straight forward and understandable way.

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The FASD Bible. But not too big, too much. Fair to ask every teacher and coach to give it a read. Such great insight into kids who struggle with this.

[Kris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book for families and teachers -- good format, quick read.