Murderers Anonymous

Barney Thomson #3

by Douglas Lindsay

With the murder of two former colleagues and 32 assorted monks, Barney Thomson has achieved a notoriety most serial killers only dream of. But when he tries to surrender to the authorities, no one will believe that he is the real Barney Thomson. And joining Murderers Anonymous is no help either.

Genres: Crime, Fiction, Humor

321 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2001

Reviews

[Fiona Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

So at around 2am this morning I got to the end of Barney Thomson number 3 and do you know what that stinky wee devil Lindsay made me do? Yep, there I was desperately scrolling through my kindle to get to Barney Thomson number 4. You know, I've got a lot of other books that I've promised some very nice and well-deserving writers that I'll read and review, there's one about a goat and a couple of cowboys standing at the end of my bed sighing and tapping their toes at me. But no, there I was delving further into the mad world of Barney Thomson, unable to put number 4 down until I was satisfied that... Ah, well - I'm not telling you that, you'll just have to read it for yourself to find out what made me so desperate as I snuggled up in a sleeping bag at the back of my cave.

I was delighted to see the return of Proudfoot in this crazy tale. She's the kind of woman that I like, bored, screwed up and reading trashy novels. Poor wee soul got such a hard time of it up in that monastery with the mad monks, no wonder the polis have put her on lighter duties!

And what about our hero? Wee Barney, the man in the street, the wee chap you see down the co-op buying a single scotch pie? He's in the book too. Just as well I suppose but oh dear, nobody wants to know the wee soul. So many other loonies are turning up at police stations up and down the country claiming to be Barney Thomson that when he visits his local cop shop they send him away with a veritable flee in his ear. Sad wee chap.

There's nothing for it so he goes back to the only thing he knows, cutting hair.

After that there's quite a lot of stuff about murders and serial killers, Lindsay has to put that in because he has a certain quota of dead bodies stipulated in his contract. I think he must get paid pro rata.

There's also quite a few chapters that are pretty much digressions where Lindsay lets rip on all manner of stuff; Elvis features quite heavily in this book.

And if you want sex, yes, there's sex too but I'll warn you, it's Scottish sex so maybe not what you're used to if you're reading this in L.A.

Don't read number 3 if you haven't read 1 & 2 but read them all you must. Crazy, irreverent, nutty, violent, bloody and incredibly well written. How annoying is that? A writer who's so good he makes it look easy...sheesh!

[Josh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Barney Thomson just attracts serial killers. After surviving mass murder at a monastery in THE BARBER SURGEONS HAIRSHIRT, the barber with bad luck stumbles upon a group of murderous maniacs trying to rein in their addiction by joining murderers anonymous. Thing is - not all of these violently inclined individuals have been caught and soon enough a secluded retreat that was meant to hint at romance in the air and redemption turns to spoilt meat and relapse.

I don't know how Douglas Lindsay does it, but every time I read a Barney Thomson book the dialogue and healthy dose of satire just gets better and better. Even with the expanded cast in Mulholland and Proudfoot (and her fictitious addiction, Jade Weapon), both police officers who have aligned their lives to the Barney Thomson phenomenon, Lindsay manages to keep the dialogue fresh and unique to the characters without sounding like carbon copies of one another.

Witt and humour are key to these books, however in MURDERERS ANONYMOUS, it's a shocking turn of events and a sequence so bloody and cannibalistic that horror fans may cringe that seals the deal. The third instalment shows no signs of the series slowing down, if anything, Lindsay appears to be gearing up for more high octane laughs and comedic accident murder.

My review of THE BARBER SURGEONS HAIRSHIRT can be found here: http://justaguythatlikes2read.blogspo...

[Steve Mitchell · Rating 2 out of 5]

I loved the first two books, full of the blackest of black comedy, but this just didn’t cut the mustard. I struggled to finish it and still think that there are a couple of chapters missing. Left me thinking, “And? What happens next?”
I will read the next book - obviously, it contains the missing chapters from this one - and hope that the humour from the first two books that hooked me in the first place makes a reappearance

[GaiB · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5stars - the world of Barney Thomson is a deliciously dark place. Highly entertaining, witty and well written. These books should be way more popular!

[Duncan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm working my way through the Barney Thomson series in order and, as the body count increases, this is even better than the first two.
Barney finds himself in a murderers self-help group. They spend the weekend in a large, remote country mansion. What could possibly go wrong there? Didn't anyone think to fill out a risk assessment form? How many will die this time?
This is great, laugh out loud, entertainment.

[Kurt · Rating 3 out of 5]

Had to list the omnibus of seven separately due to the 2015 challenge. Review for the Omnibus:

Admittedly, it's perseverance that got me through all seven books. The first three, though interesting, were not very captivating. The last four were more flowing and well paced. Overall a good alternative read.

[Lisbonlioness · Rating 5 out of 5]

This series is wickedly funny and the little touches like the newspaper headlines make me laugh out loud.

[Chris Logan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Trouble just follows Barney Thompson. How much more can any one man take. This is the third instalment in the ongoing Barney story and is every bit as good as the previous two.

[Gary · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good stuff again, plenty of laughs and ludicrous mental images.