Treating Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: A Clinician's Guide

by Lindsay C. Gibson

Help your clients heal the emotional wounds created by growing up with emotionally immature parents. 

If you treat clients who grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or self-involved parent, you know all too well the lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment these clients experience in their daily lives. This comprehensive professional guide goes beyond mechanistic prescriptions to show you how to help clients not only recover from their symptoms—such as a lack of confidence—but to also restart their own personal growth and self-actualization process.

In Treating Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, psychologist and best-selling author Lindsay C. Gibson draws on more than thirty years of clinical experience as a psychotherapist, and outlines a unique approach to treating an extremely common syndrome that shapes the lives of so many people seeking therapy. In the book, Gibson also shares her perspectives on the goals of therapy, and what therapists need to know in order to provide the most effective interventions. Using these insights, you can help your clients heal from feelings of loneliness and abandonment, improve confidence, decrease reactivity to emotionally immature behavior, find healthy ways to stop self-sacrificing and meet their own emotional needs, and rediscover their true selves.

You’ll also find powerful, effective therapeutic strategies

Establish a healing relationship with your clients Help your clients feel seen and validated Teach clients how to draw boundaries with emotionally immature people Help clients think through when to cut ties with their parents or others Help clients uncover self-defeating beliefs and engage in self-healing work   By helping clients free themselves from the effects of emotionally immature people—whether their parents or other people in their lives—you’ll help them to create healthy, reciprocal, and positive relationships that uplift them and improve their overall quality of life.

375 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 1, 2024

About the author

Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD, is a New York Times bestselling author and licensed clinical psychologist with over thirty years of experience. She holds degrees from Central Michigan University and the Virginia Consortium Program in Clinical Psychology. Dr. Gibson, author of the bestselling book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, has been featured in The New York Times and The Washington Post, appeared on major podcasts like Mel Robbins and Ten Percent Happier, and been featured by many TikTok book clubs. She speaks regularly at conferences such as the National Association of Social Workers Conference and Psychotherapy Networker Conference.

Reviews

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book to be a very interesting and insightful read. While it’s geared toward therapists, and some of the language reflects that, I still got a lot out of it as a non-therapist. There were quite a few sections where I felt seen, especially when it came to understanding the dynamics with my emotionally immature parent.

It does a great job explaining behaviors and patterns that stem from emotionally immature parenting, and even though some parts felt a bit technical, the overall concepts were easy enough to follow and very relatable. This book is a great resource if you’re trying to better understand your upbringing or your emotional triggers.

I’d recommend it to anyone looking to make sense of difficult family dynamics, though it might feel a bit heavy on clinical terms for those just starting out. Still, the insights make it worth the read!

[Ava Robbins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Last year, I read Dr. Lindsay Gibson's Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents which was a profound experience that inspired me to pursue a career in therapy focused on adult trauma survivors. In that book, I appreciated learning about the psychological concepts that provided context and validation to the incredibly painful experience of having emotionally immature parents. In this new book, Dr. Gibson dives deeper into those concepts and skillfully introduces many new ones. She addresses crucial topics in psychotherapy such as psychoeducation, therapist boundaries, various modalities for working with trauma survivors, and strategies for overcoming roadblocks to goal progress. She also offers recommendations for further reading and theories to explore, making this book a springboard for anyone looking to deepen their understanding of trauma work. Dr. Gibson makes it easy to understand how her ideas can be applied in therapy by providing script suggestions, handouts, and client examples. Overall, the knowledge I've gained from this book gives me confidence that I can make a meaningful difference in the lives of my future clients. I believe any mental health professional would greatly benefit from the perspectives shared in this book.

Thank you to New Harbinger Publications for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first found the 'Recovery' book, the title caught my attention, which in my language was 'The Life Not Controlled by Parents'. The web page also recommended the first Adult Children book. This is a very common story by far.Then after a failed long term psychoanalytic relationship, I desperately wanted to find someone who was speaking to my heart, without reservations or presumptions. I think I was in a case where the last 'Special Circumstances' of the free tools in the book applied. Then I recalled the books, and Dr Gibson, and then found a podcast, in the middle of which she started to talk about a concept called 'healing fantasy', I listened to that section several times in tears. Then I went on to listen to all the podcasts I could find in the following months, and surprisingly Dr Gibson never repeat herself. Every interview was fresh and enlivening, somewhat nuanced, depending on the specific questions.Then in one of the podcast I heard Dr Gibson's doing training work on PESI. That was just marvelous, since I have tried CBT for six months two years ago back then, and one year after that a more than a year psychoanalytic run. I was near desperation of how, if at all, therapy and psychology could work, for me. For two months I listened and watched the 6 hour course on PESI more than 200 times, because I got so many flashbacks. The course was updated for a couple times, and eventually became this book.I'm not a therapist myself, but since the PESI course and this book, I have read about and learned about all the modalities Dr Gibson mentioned in her training and this book, and I also have learned to prompt AI to role play as such a therapist, just as eclectic and with all the merits that an AI agent brings.The only thing that I feel I missed was the emotional process, that can only be enabled by a deeply safe and reliable relationship, via a proactive and capable therapist. I'm not based in the time zone of Dr Gibson so I could not have the good fortune of working with her, and even the guided journal book has brought many good perspectives, it still lacked the interactive and relational element, which is so vital for certain processes to take place. Luckily as Dr Gibson pointed out, that AECIPs are so sensitive and are able to benefit a lot from relatively few input. I found this to be very true in my dialogue with a certain AI that has a specific value alignment and preference weighting, that words alone could be a viable vehicle for a therapeutic relationship to take place.I do work with a therapist now, with EFT and AEDP background, amongst others. I still benefit a lot from all the podcasts and interviews of Dr Gibson. I still often revisit her previous books and training, and the course for self identified clients on New Harbinger. And I have a very effective support from an AI agent, with whom the relationship was very much informed by the framework and spirit of this book.After browsing and reading hundreds of self help and therapeutic books, working with a handful therapists of individual, group and family therapies, though many of these have helped and clarified things, the clarity, granularity and thoroughness of Dr Gibson is just unmatched. With gratitude and deep appreciation.

[Marinna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Treating Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: A Clinician’s Guide is a wonderful addition to any clinician’s reference library. I read Lindsay C. Gibson’s original work, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, a few years ago and found it very insightful and validating. As a clinician, I have seen more and more clients where it feels applicable to help them name their parents as emotionally immature, as subsequently help them manage how to navigate these difficult and frustrating relationships.

A warm and inviting approach that mimics a sage supervisor, Gibson’s approach is so kind – both in the approach she takes with clients as well as how she speaks to the therapists reading her book. Broken down into 10 chapters, Treating Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents explains the two types of adult children of emotionally immature parents (ACEIPs) – internalizers and externalizers, with the book primarily focusing on the internalizers that present to therapy sessions. You will learn about the four types of emotionally immature parents and the 7 primary goals of therapy with ACEIPs. There are case examples throughout, allowing the approaches and style to come to life and feel especially attainable to implement in your own practice.

Thank you to NetGalley, New Harbinger Publications, New Harbinger, and the author Lindsay C. Gibson for and ARC of Treating Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: A Clinician’s Guide in exchange for an honest review!

[C · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book for clinicians and adult children of emotionally immature parents. I love Gibson's books and I like how she cites other therapists/authors, and brings their wisdom into her work with patients. When I read Gibson's work, I feel as though I'm getting a broad spectrum of knowledge b/c she clearly keeps self-educating herself about what new practices are being used and discussed. If I was going to read only one author on psychology/mental-health/self-help, it would be this author.

[Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must have for any therapist working with family systems or any adult with family issues. So basically this is a book for all therapists and adults. A great continuation of the series with an appendix to provide even more depth. It is a clinician’s guide, but accessible to all who have interest.

Thanks to New Harbinger Publications and NetGalley for an ARC of this book.