What do you think?
Rate this book
Miss Manners Minds Your Business
“Both a sad and hilarious commentary on the state of the modern workplace.”― New York Times What do your colleagues, overlords, underlings, clients, and customers have in common? Not knowing how much they annoy you. Not to mention how much you may be annoying them. The route from cubicle to corner office is strewn with etiquette landmines. And now that the boundaries that once cleanly separated work from personal life are blurred, even polite people don’t recognize the difference between professional and social manners. Don’t convene a focus group or appeal to Human Resources―consult Miss Manners! With wit and wisdom, Miss Manners restores civility, guiding you around your coworker’s messy cubicle, past your overly prying boss, around the bridal shower for the new temp, and through tedious staff meetings. In Miss Manners Minds Your Business , Judith Martin and her son, executive Nicholas Ivor Martin, equip readers with the practical, pertinent, and utterly correct advice necessary to win the job, keep the job, and leave the job with sanity and dignity intact.
- GenresNonfictionBusinessHumor
320 pages, Paperback
First published September 23, 2013
13 people are currently reading
238 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
May 27, 2015
The short review: Miss Manners is always funny and informative, and this collection of her advice is a terrific read even if you're not a business person (which I am not).
The details: I love Miss Manners because she refuses to be what people expect. She may be old-fashioned in certain ways, but she knows exactly what "the good old days" were like, and wild horses couldn't drag her back to them:
The rote courtesy that you imagine was then practiced was directed only toward self-designated gentlemen. Ladies, along with blacks, gays, and the disabled, were either excluded or exploited, a moral sin that led, as such things often do, to grievous manners sins.
One of the best letters in this book has to do with exactly such sins. Actually, the letter itself is pretty ghastly. It's from a man who is trying his darnedest, but simply can't understand what's wrong with referring to "an adult employee as a 'girl.'" I mean, come on! Women refer to themselves as girls all the time! "We girls stopped for a drink after work." "We girls are going to the theater."
Them girls all apparently talk exactly like Ethel Mertz. But I digress.
So I ask: What is the hang-up with regard to the use of the word "girls" in referring to adult women? It can still be done respectfully. And yes, I have heard adult men refer to "going out with the boys" when I was certain they did not mean with their sons and/or grandsons.
Oh, no, he DIDN'T! He totally DID! Miss Manners is going to have to be a good girl and gracefully give in!
Or not:
Miss Manners finds it curious that although your question is about how an office manager should refer to workers, your example all illustrate what people call themselves, and in situations that are social in character. There is no example of a female secretary asking, "Do you boys want your letters done now?"
AAAWWWWW YEEAAHH!!! ZING! POW!
Regardless of the fact that you seem to have been getting away with using the nearly archaic terms that you have heard some workers calling themselves when discussing their off-duty socializing, you office boys must stop taking verbal liberties with the staff. One of these days you will get into trouble over it.
DOUBLE ZING!!!
The following is my absolute favorite letter in this collection, though. The writer herself does most of the talking. Miss Manners always knows when to keep it short and sweet.
DEAR MISS MANNERS:
My husband (who is 20 yrs my senior) works with a female that is 30 yrs his jr. and they have developed a "friendship." He tells me that he thinks of her as a daughter; however, they go for a beer every night after work, and this always turns into several beers. They text each other at least 50 times a day. I have asked, to no avail, that they not text on weekends.
Every time we have a disagreement, he always compares me to her. I have asked him point-blank if he is in love with this person (who by the way is also married). He has not said yes, but he has not said no.
Am I the stupid one for wanting to fight for my husband? This woman even bought a secret phone so that they can text each other and her husband does not find out. I know in my own mind that if an affair has not yet happened it is just a matter of time. How do I know all this? They invited me to have a beer with them, then I realized I was a decoy for them. As I write this, I realize just how dumb I am to stick around.
GENTLE READER:
Glad to have been of help.
It's like I always say: if you can't explain your situation to a stranger without sounding like an idiot or worse, it's time to change your behavior.
The details: I love Miss Manners because she refuses to be what people expect. She may be old-fashioned in certain ways, but she knows exactly what "the good old days" were like, and wild horses couldn't drag her back to them:
The rote courtesy that you imagine was then practiced was directed only toward self-designated gentlemen. Ladies, along with blacks, gays, and the disabled, were either excluded or exploited, a moral sin that led, as such things often do, to grievous manners sins.
One of the best letters in this book has to do with exactly such sins. Actually, the letter itself is pretty ghastly. It's from a man who is trying his darnedest, but simply can't understand what's wrong with referring to "an adult employee as a 'girl.'" I mean, come on! Women refer to themselves as girls all the time! "We girls stopped for a drink after work." "We girls are going to the theater."
Them girls all apparently talk exactly like Ethel Mertz. But I digress.
So I ask: What is the hang-up with regard to the use of the word "girls" in referring to adult women? It can still be done respectfully. And yes, I have heard adult men refer to "going out with the boys" when I was certain they did not mean with their sons and/or grandsons.
Oh, no, he DIDN'T! He totally DID! Miss Manners is going to have to be a good girl and gracefully give in!
Or not:
Miss Manners finds it curious that although your question is about how an office manager should refer to workers, your example all illustrate what people call themselves, and in situations that are social in character. There is no example of a female secretary asking, "Do you boys want your letters done now?"
AAAWWWWW YEEAAHH!!! ZING! POW!
Regardless of the fact that you seem to have been getting away with using the nearly archaic terms that you have heard some workers calling themselves when discussing their off-duty socializing, you office boys must stop taking verbal liberties with the staff. One of these days you will get into trouble over it.
DOUBLE ZING!!!
The following is my absolute favorite letter in this collection, though. The writer herself does most of the talking. Miss Manners always knows when to keep it short and sweet.
DEAR MISS MANNERS:
My husband (who is 20 yrs my senior) works with a female that is 30 yrs his jr. and they have developed a "friendship." He tells me that he thinks of her as a daughter; however, they go for a beer every night after work, and this always turns into several beers. They text each other at least 50 times a day. I have asked, to no avail, that they not text on weekends.
Every time we have a disagreement, he always compares me to her. I have asked him point-blank if he is in love with this person (who by the way is also married). He has not said yes, but he has not said no.
Am I the stupid one for wanting to fight for my husband? This woman even bought a secret phone so that they can text each other and her husband does not find out. I know in my own mind that if an affair has not yet happened it is just a matter of time. How do I know all this? They invited me to have a beer with them, then I realized I was a decoy for them. As I write this, I realize just how dumb I am to stick around.
GENTLE READER:
Glad to have been of help.
It's like I always say: if you can't explain your situation to a stranger without sounding like an idiot or worse, it's time to change your behavior.
February 4, 2022
Think of Judith Martin's earlier, much larger books like MISS MANNERS' GUIDE TO EXCRUCIATINGLY CORRECT BEHAVIOR (800-plus pages, most recent edition 2005) as the "JOY OF COOKING" of etiquette, general works that cover all aspects of etiquette, from dress to decorum, socializing, correspondence and entertaining, and settling the occasional case of ruffled feathers tactfully. More recently, Martin (this time in conjunction with her son Nicholas) has been issuing shorter, more limited volumes like this one of about 300 pages, that deal with topics like public speaking, table manners, "the right thing to say," and here the business world. (Compare this to cookery books, that will specialize into salads, cocktails and baked goods.)
The good news is that Martin--now aided by her son--is as witty and on-point as ever. Even though she has covered much of this material before, the incursions of more recent technology, and the increasing tendency to treat "valued employees" as mere wage slaves, necessitate a volume like this. She is especially good at knowing how to marshal the staff to point out to the boss (as ever, tactfully!) when his/her recent innovations have become simply too much to bear. Much of this book is in Q&A format, and it serves.
The good news is that Martin--now aided by her son--is as witty and on-point as ever. Even though she has covered much of this material before, the incursions of more recent technology, and the increasing tendency to treat "valued employees" as mere wage slaves, necessitate a volume like this. She is especially good at knowing how to marshal the staff to point out to the boss (as ever, tactfully!) when his/her recent innovations have become simply too much to bear. Much of this book is in Q&A format, and it serves.
January 14, 2014
A helpful book, especially for 20-somethings entering the workforce. Many topics are included, from love in the workplace to posting and replying to online reviews (Yelp). How do you handle speaking to someone that has been fired from your company? Workplace gossip? Vacations, gifts, office parties, pregnancy, nursing, and handshakes - most likely your etiquette question is in here if it has to do with employment, or anything that could happen in your place of employment.
Easy to skim through and a quick (and sometimes funny) read, everyone would benefit from at least browsing this book!
Easy to skim through and a quick (and sometimes funny) read, everyone would benefit from at least browsing this book!
Read
July 19, 2020I got a few pointers from this. Give down. No need to collect money for the boss' Christmas gift.
October 31, 2013
I know I don't work outside the home, but when I saw this at the library I picked it up for fun. I actually learned a lot and realized there is a lot in the way of business etiquette that I'd never considered. I heartily agree with Miss Manners when she says that employee holiday parties and gifts could be eliminated and replaced with a Christmas bonus. (Doesn't work take up enough of our time as it is?) Employees shouldn't be made to feel guilty when they don't want to socialize with their co-workers during lunch or after hours. Guilting people into contributing to bosses gifts, co-worker's weddings and the like is inappropriate. Lots of good stuff!!
December 12, 2023
"Miss Manners Minds Your Business" by Judith Martin and Nicholas Ivor Martin, was a fun and witty read, although it felt a bit more USA-specific than other "Miss Manners" books.
Still very entertaining for a reader who doesn't live in the US, but not as universally applicable.
Still very entertaining for a reader who doesn't live in the US, but not as universally applicable.
April 6, 2021
Work etiquette humor.
June 11, 2021
Mildly entertaining. Kind of like browsing the old Dear Abby column in the newspaper.
July 19, 2023
More entertaining than instructional. Still, a fun brisk read. And a nice digestif after the meal of Post's Etiquette.
October 11, 2019
Very well written and entertaining (as all of Judith Martin's books are). A reminder of the importance of separating work and social life and the pitfalls for those who don't. Discusses the ongoing encroachment of social matters into the workplace (and vice versa), and how to deal with the impositions on your time and pocketbook.
March 30, 2020
good read it was a simple lesson that helps alot of people to learn how to work with and be considerate to the people around them.
all the stuff that comes up in office situations can be dealt with in a proper way all that has to be done is proper way of talking and being considerate to their co workers.
all the stuff that comes up in office situations can be dealt with in a proper way all that has to be done is proper way of talking and being considerate to their co workers.
September 13, 2016
Really enjoyed this very down to earth and heartful book which I read on a recent long haul flight
October 29, 2015
A helpful book, especially for 20-somethings entering the workforce. Many topics are included, from love in the workplace to posting and replying to online reviews (Yelp). How do you handle speaking to someone that has been fired from your company? Workplace gossip? Vacations, gifts, office parties, pregnancy, nursing, and handshakes - most likely your etiquette question is in here if it has to do with employment, or anything that could happen in your place of employment.
Easy to skim through and a quick (and sometimes funny) read, everyone would benefit from at least browsing this book!
Easy to skim through and a quick (and sometimes funny) read, everyone would benefit from at least browsing this book!
October 2, 2014
If you long for simpler times when personal/professional boundaries were more clearly defined, you'll love the ideas in this book. I am that person, however, clearly defined boundaries just don't exist anymore. I appreciated most of Miss Manners' points about how to behave, but a book that takes a more, "Yes, personal/professional boundaries are blurred, here is how to navigate them," approach instead of "Everyone is making things too personal at the office and it your role to be contrarian and fix it," would be more helpful.
April 28, 2014
As a mother who works from home, this book had very little information that applied to me. There is no indication on the outside of the book that it focuses on job situations. I can see from the description on this site that it is job-related but since I picked it up at the library, I had no idea. I was disappointed because I like Miss Manners and was looking forward to reading her advice. I'm sure that if you have an outside job, or are looking for a job, this book would be helpful.
November 18, 2013
Miss Manners is a national treasure. Here she untangles the wilds and woes of office and professional life with clarity and kindness. I didn't read every word - ah, the joys of retirement - but I happily skimmed and retrieved nuggets of good advice. Recommended for anyone who ever considered throwing a missile into the next cubicle.
December 22, 2014
Everyone who works with others, or some day wants to, should be required to read this book. Aside from addressing specific ettiquette issues, one of the larger themes of this book is that personal and professional lives need to remain separate. I most fervently agree, and wish Miss Manners had the power to make this law.
July 6, 2016
Another tome replete with wisdom from my beloved Miss M. She was 100% on top of her game with this one, with an ideal mixture of practical advice, witty retorts, and eye-opening observations of modern life. Entertaining and useful! Recommended for any working person or just any human being with a sense of humor.
November 23, 2013
Hmm, this book was good but not as genius as I am used to from Miss Manners. Maybe it's just that I don't care as much about business as I do weddings, or that there's not as much exciting drama in the business world. It was still good, but I wasn't rapt.
January 19, 2016
Miss Manners Minds Your Business by Judith Martin (W.W. Norton & Co. 2013) (395.52) is another funny and well-written guide to proper etiquette, this time in the workplace. My rating: 7/10, finished 10/24/13.
January 15, 2014
Miss Manners has the most hilarious yet appropriate way of expressing everything and quite a range of people who write in. This book was good, but I didn't get as many moments of true awesomeness as I normally get from her.
February 26, 2015
Miss Manners has a snooty wit that's absolutely delicious. She also has quite a bit of wisdom.
Some things I learned while reading.
-always take the high road
-it's never worth the satisifaction
-people are super sensitive
-don't mix business with pleasure
-be unfailingly polite.
Some things I learned while reading.
-always take the high road
-it's never worth the satisifaction
-people are super sensitive
-don't mix business with pleasure
-be unfailingly polite.
August 6, 2015
I want to be Miss Manners when I grow up. Witty, snarky, and always proper, she offers advice for everything from office dress codes to what to do when someone won't stop eating smelly food at her desk. A fun and diverting read!
June 11, 2014
Good advice, as always.
November 21, 2013
When I read a book by Judith Martin, I regain some of my lost hope for civilization.
September 12, 2016
I enjoy Miss Manners. She's funny, and also correct.
August 12, 2014
The female Oscar Wilde
August 18, 2014
this was a collection of responses probably from a news paper. some of the advise is very good. others I feel are opinions but pertinent information to have reviewed.
April 11, 2017
After hearing multiple "Miss Manners" references on Gilmore Girls, I knew I had to find out what the fuss was all about. I can't believe I went 29 years without reading Miss Manners! While manners and etiquette can be dismissed as archaic, there is such comfort in knowing how to respond in a variety of workplace conundrums. In every response to her "gentle readers", Miss Manners delivers sound advice with sincerity and some of the best sarcasm I've seen!
Read
September 23, 2018Audio
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews