The Sex Life of My Aunt

by Mavis Cheek

"This book is streets ahead of the usual run of romantic comedy. Cheek is a genuinely witty writer with the ability to make you laugh out loud. She draws real three dimensional characters whose motives you can understand and whose emotions you can care about" Daily Mail. The Times says "A sharp eye for the foibles of human nature ... the result is a modern morality tale, skilfully told, about the age-old conflict between love and money".
Lovely home, lovely husband, lovely family: Dilys's rags to riches life is lovely, lovely, lovely. Until the day she meets a man at a railway station who is also lovely, when Brief Encounter meets Basis Instinct, the right choice, like the truth, is rarely pure and never simple ...

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, British Literature, Humor

294 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 5, 2002

About the author

Born in Wimbledon, now part of London, Mavis left school at 16 to do office work with Editions Alecto, a Kensington publishing company. She later moved to the firm's gallery in Albemarle Street, where she met artists such as David Hockney, Allen Jones, Patrick Caulfield and Gillian Ayres. In 1969 she married a "childhood sweetheart", Chris Cheek, a physicist, whom she had met at a meeting of the Young Communist League in New Malden, but they separated three years later. Later she lived for eleven years with the artist Basil Beattie. She returned to education in 1976, doing a two-year arts course at Hillcroft College, a further education college for women.

Although Cheek had planned to take a degree course, she turned instead to fiction writing while her daughter, Bella Beattie, was a child. She moved from London to Aldbourne in the Wiltshire countryside in 2003, but as she explained to a newspaper, "Life in the city was a comparative breeze. Life in the country is tough, a little bit dangerous and not for wimps."

Cheek has been involved with the Marlborough LitFest, and also teaches creative writing. This has included voluntary work at Holloway and Erlstoke prisons. As she described in an article: "What I see [at Erlstoke] is reflected in my own experience. Bright, overlooked, unconfident men who are suddenly given the opportunity to learn grow wings, and dare to fail. It helps to be able to tell them that I, too, was once designated thick by a very silly [education] system. My prisoners have written some brilliant stuff, and perhaps it gives them back some self-esteem."

Reviews

[Sofia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Seems lighthearted but it isn't really because Ms Cheek delves. And with her delving she sure churns up a lot of mud, mud that sticks onto our lives and leaves it's mark on them and on the choices we take.

Sure it is easy from the outside to say what is right, what is wrong and what one should do in each and every situation but it isn't. For women, being ourselves, allowing us to be what we are is very much tied in to the strength of our financial independence. It is easy for one who is so independent, to say one should do this or one should do that. Ms Cheek shows that it is not that easy. What happens after we've built up a life, a family, a home on the premise of giving weight to the financials as well. If we now give up this life, this family because we no longer care about the financials, aren't we going to hurt as well, aren't we going to hurt others as well. Not easy. Cheek writes light heartedly but digs deep.

[Crvena Kraljica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dilys je dobro situirana žena sa skladnim brakom i dobrim i bogatim mužem, savjesnim i uspješnim odvjetnikom. Iako ima sve, osjeća se da nema ništa. I naravno, šta će žena napraviti , već naći mlađeg ljubavnika. Da bi osigurala vrijeme za ljubavnika, laže mužu da se svaki puta nalazi sa svojom starom ujnom ( a on joj glupan sve to vjeruje.)Ili se barem tako čini da joj vjeruje?
Meni je upravo sve to bilo na neki način smiješno, jer knjiga pokazuje što su sve ljudi kadri napraviti zbog strasti. Laganje, telefoniranje u kupatilu , pisanje poruka, sve je to radila glavna junakinja za koju je muž na kraju mislio da boluje od inkontinencije zbog čestih posjeta Wc-u.
Međutim , bez obzira na sve, nemojte ovu knjigu olako shvatiti, baš kao ni moj osvrt, jer kad malo zagrebemo ispod površine i dublje razmislimo ovo je izvrsna knjiga o preljubu i svatko bi ju morao pročitati ili barem oni koji se spremaju prevariti svog bračnog partnera.
Što napraviti kad voliš dvije osobe istovremeno i spavaš s njima? Najgore je to što je glavna junakinja smatrala da su obojica muškaraca u njenom životu( dakle i muž i ljubavnik) dobri. Baš zato je i teška njena odluka da li ostati s mužem ili otići s ljubavnikom.Lako se odlučiti za novu vezu, ako je stara užasna.
Dilysin muž je divan i upravo zbog toga je teža njena odluka.Inače, knjiga je po meni dobro napisana, dakle nije to limunada ili klasičan ljubić, već izvrsna studija o tome što napraviti kad strast ovlada razumom. Istina je da nas strast čini ludima , upravo se tako ponaša i glavna junakinja. Njeni su mi postupci ponekad graničili s ludilom,njena razmišljanja su ponekad toliko tragikomična da sam se morala smijati bez obzira na temu koju nam je spisateljica servirala. Strast nas čini ludima, ona se uvuče pod kožu ponekih pojedinaca bez obzira na vrijeme i mjesto, a i godine, rekla bih. Svatko tko je bio ludo zaljubljen zna što to znači. Slušati razum u ovakvim situacijama je naprosto nemoguće, razum bježi i ne može se uhvatiti i sve što se u tom trenutku želi je još jedan susret s voljenom osobom.
"Svaki je djelić mene žudio za njim.Tko god je ljubav usporedio s drogom,od Mozzarta do Briana Ferriya, imao je pravo. Jednostavno ne razmišljaš o opasnosti, cijeni, kad ti treba fiks....""Spavanje s dva različita muškarca u različito vrijeme opasna je stvar. Ako ste u krevetu s obojicom, a oni su svjesni toga, onda vam se može oprostiti ako im pomiješate imena, no ako ih konzumirate odvojeno i na različitim mjestima, oprez. Osim mogućnosti šaptanja pogrešnog imena u najboljem trenutku i pogleda zaprepaštenih očiju koje vam govore nešto u stilu “Oprosti, ja sam George”, postoji mogućnost da će jedan od njih dvojice prije ili poslije primijetiti da ste odsutni duhom. Postoji i treća mogućnost ? možete se napola izludjeti užasom onoga što činite nekome tko vam vjeruje. Ne preporučam to, ali ja se toga nisam mogla osloboditi."
Inače nisam tip koja osuđuje ljude u seksualnom smislu, tako da ne osuđujem ni glavnu junakinju. Na kraju knjige ona napokon mora odlučiti s kime biti i kako dalje. Da li je izabrala bogatstvo i sigurnost braka ili je pak otišla s ljubavnikom , neću vam reći. Mogu samo napisati da joj najvjerojatnije nije bilo lako.

[carriedaway · Rating 3 out of 5]

I came thisclose to not bothering to finish the book. Dilys is dallying with Matthew, a man ten years her junior who is almost the mirror version of her husband. While Matthew is on the dole and unconcerned about it, her husband Francis is a nicely stable staid sensible rich lawyer with a class conscience but they have the same basic outlook on life. You can almost see where the one would morph into the other if circumstances were different. /yawn.

I'm not sure if Dilly made me impatient because cheating on such a summarily decent guy seemed wrong, because romance novels of any permutation are not my thing, she's been poor for pity's sake, does she really want to go back to it? or if I recognized her in some way. All the lies and machinations that came so easily to her. The angst. The temper and the mood swings. The invention of visiting her estranged aunt. I despaired that said aunt was ever going to show up, but she did, accomodatingly revealing some family skeletons.

Straightforward first person narrative told with more than enough dialogue between the characters that I never felt I was reading say, a diary. Nicely drawn character sketches, if all a bit quirky. Her sister Ginny for example, while being a bit over the top never came across as false. Set in England during the Blair years, for a Californian, it was suitably exotic.

So yes, in the end, I liked it and I'm glad I stayed with Dilly, even if I did feel like a girlfriend who has to listen to her best friend tiresomely going on and on about the fabulous new boyfriend's fabulousness for hours on end at time.

[Giulietta e libri · Rating 1 out of 5]

Я не є "сезонним читачем" - мені абсолютно нормально читати про літо взимку і навпаки. Залежить від настрою. І от зараз, перед святами хочиться чогось легкого і максимально розважального, я захотіла прочитати якийсь ромком. Чому я вирішила, що ця книга ромком - я не маю відповіді 🙂 Я просто взяла її і розпочала читати, в мене не має звички перевіряти відгуки до закінчення книги, бо по-перше - це суб'єктивна думка, а по-друге - можна зловити спойлер... А можливо було б треба 🤦 А ще, я не можу кидати розпочаті книги (🦔 і 🌵) я читала увесь день, щоб закінчити як найскоріше...

Це огидна книга. Одна із найгірших цього року (якшо не найгірша, а їх було більше сотні...).
Історія про меркантильну жінку, яка в п'ядесят років знайшла "коханння"... Те, як вона поводила себе зі своїми близькими викликає лише відразу... Її ніяк не можна виправдати і зрозуміти (а зрозуміти можливо навіть Емму Боварі). На протязі усієї книги я сподівалася, що в кінці кінців це буде виправданно хоч глибокими почуттями до коханця, але авторка вирішила просто написати про неприємну, аморальну жінку.

Я не моралізатор в білому пальто, я вірю що інколи люди можуть вчинити неправільно через певні обставини і сильні почуття... Це життя. Але, героїня цієї книги - це просто лицемірка. Її вчинки просто огидні. Це було дуже неприємно читати, а кінець книги хоч і був абсолютно передбачуванним, але все ж неймовірно неприємним.

[Epure Olga-Beatrice · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I have read in this category.
A light, funny and entertaining book, which is such a pleasent surprise, taking into accont that the subject[s] addressed (falling in love wih another person then your current partner, cheating, what to do when your partner cheats on you, homosexuality a long time ago, violence in a household, etc) are quite heavy.
A wonderfull lesson on the different forms "love" takes.
A wonderfull lesson on how to be a good spouse.
A wonderfull lesson on being a family, on how hard it is to keep your family together and on the necessity to think out of the box to keep the persons important to you in your life, in your love life.

Most of us got no training (eg during our school training) on relationships, emotional aspects of life and interractions with others. This book is not a manual in itself but it is a great example of how things work in life, the worse and good surprises that life might make to you and how you could best deal with them.

[Louise Culmer · Rating 2 out of 5]

The title of this book is a bit strange, as the sex life of the narrator’s aunt hasn’t really got much to do with the story at all. There is one chapter devoted to it over halfway through the book, but it doesn’t really add anything to the story. Anyway, the narrator, Dilys, is a middle aged woman with a supposedly happy marriage who embarks on an affair with a younger man who wants her to run off with him, but she is reluctant to give up the comfortable lifestyle she enjoys, having known poverty in her youth and not being keen to go back to it. I didn’t find the story or the characters particularly interesting, the book might have been more amusing if it had had more about the aunt and her sex life in it.

[Javiera Ibarra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very pleasant read. Funny, easy, and also deep; sincere. I liked the main character because she's so imperfect, so real. She was born without much, love included; but -in a good star- at 19 she met her loving husband and walked into a protected life, inside the perfect marriage and family. Quite lucky, so much so that it was actually a blessing, and you can't turn your back on a blessing.

[Lucija · Rating 3 out of 5]

prvo me je knjiga strasno nervirala, i bilo mi je zao tog muza, a onda se -napokon- pocelo odmotavati klupko i tu ima nekih zanimljivih tema za razmisljanje

[Mandy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Gave up on it. It really didn't hold my interest so have passed it on. Hopefully someone else will have more enjoyment.

[Ragne Rämmal-Orason · Rating 3 out of 5]

Tundub, et Dilyse elus on kõik ideaalne, ta abiellus jõuka mehega, tal on ilus kodu, ta saatus on olnud nagu muinasjutt Tuhkatriinust, aga siis kohtab ta raudteejaamas üht meest, kes tundub vastupandamatu. Äkitselt näib oma mehe petmine kõige loomulikuma asjana maailmas ja endine elu hakkab oma võlu kaotama. Ja vapustus nii kindlana paistnud maailmas sunnib Dilyst vaatama teise pilguga ka oma minevikule.

Minu kommentaar: Ootamatu, omapärane, samas piisavalt oivaline, et lugeda läbi paari päevaga. Vahepeal justkui ei meeldinud üldse, aga tervikuna oli päris hea.

[Andrée · Rating 1 out of 5]

just not good enough to bother finishinbg - but hey it was only 30p.....

[Alison Mallory · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mavis Cheek has never written a bad book!

[RJC · Rating 2 out of 5]

A slow starter. Condoning affairs. The ending was better with the background information added in.

[Gillian · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 1/2 stars.

[Penny · Rating 2 out of 5]

Disappointing

[Anouska Dutta · Rating 3 out of 5]

Had not intended to get this book, but not a bad read.
Made me think about some aspects of our society, which are controversial but overall it was decent and kept me entertained enough.

[Lorraine Allen · Rating 1 out of 5]

Only got to page 79. I tried to enjoy the story but couldn’t. Life is too short to spend time reading something I didn’t enjoy at all. Sorry 😔.

[Stefania · Rating 2 out of 5]

Prometteva di essere un libro vitale e spiritoso ma l'ho trovato prevedibile e scontato.

[Hippystick]

Something a little lighter. This is described as a modern morality tale, the story of a woman who has it all, great home, wonderful husband, perfect children and then something happens to put that all at risk. This was a cut above the usual standard of aga saga-type book and I enjoyed it very much. Mavis Cheek writes well; her characters are real enough to care about and the story had some nice original touches.

I think Cheek would appeal to lovers of Deborah Moggach or Margaret Forster, I wouldn't rate her as highly as either of them but it was well done and I'd be happy to read her again next time I'm in the mood for something lighter.

[Mladen · Rating 5 out of 5]

this is a classic view "from the inside": about one decent lady in the second half of her life that let go herself into the love. Of course, here is a classical marriage, classical children who already have their own marriages and their own children, classical upper middle class where her wealthy husband takes care of the finances, while our dear lady spends years in various forms of art and traditional, quiet, peaceful (did I mention the classical) life.
suddenly, she manages to fall in love as a young girl, with one eye contact, with one given handkerchief.
what happened afterwards, reveal by yourself.

[Georgia · Rating 3 out of 5]

The way the book is written is ok a d that is about that. I mean who would on almost 300 pages write so detailed about the adultery.
The problem with the main character that she is very submissive to the men, both husband and lover. And the worst thing,she is aware of it. That is why she can't enjoy either being a wife or being a woman with affair.
And to top all of that she chooses the safest way, what she was doing all her life.
Luckily the style is very good so it is enjoyable to read, other wise it would be a total no go.

[Kittygabe]

I don´t know how to classify this book. first, there is the cheating. i don´t really like when the subject is this. but ok, she was depress and like she said there was always that part of her which was sealed in her heart. but thenm she met this wonderful guy, start to hate her husband and in the end... well, not very romantic but maybe pretty realistic! So if you ask my opinio about this book, well, i don´t know!

[Tiah]

A very English read. I enjoyed that nothing was simple or clear cut. That she did not romanticise the affair or make the husband out to be a demon. I enjoyed the delve into the British class system. However, I felt so detached from the main character that I hardly cared about her when so many events in the novel should have provoked more emotion than they did.

[Bookish Enchantment (Katherine Quirke) · Rating 4 out of 5]

How scary this book is - I don't mean from a spooky point of view but from a realism point of view.

The book made me think about adultery, life, relationships and how frail they can be even when interwoven. Also makes you realise that some simple actions can turn your life upside down.

A great story that will have you begging for more.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read as part of What's in a Name? reading challenge, familial relation. I've read a few of Mavis Cheek's books and enjoyed them all, this one included. Brought more than a tear to my eye, esp. the ending.Concernes adultery from the wife's viewpoint.

[Nives Čavić · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dok srlja ka svojoj propasti ili slobodi, otkriva da je prevara dio sudbine, i kad se kratki susret pretvori u niske strasti, pravi izbor, poput same istine, rijetko je bez mrlja i nikad jednostavan...

[Anni De forest · Rating 5 out of 5]

Väga põnev lugemine ühest 30-aastasest abielust ja tunnete muutumisest selles.
Dilemma turvalise ja tuttavliku ning tormilise ja uue vahel. Oli põnev jälgida peategelase arutluskäiku kahe elu vahel ning näha, milliseid valikuid ta lõpuks tegi.

[Kresimir Prpa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mavis Cheek "Seksualni život moje ujne", Profil, Zagreb

[Sukanya · Rating 5 out of 5]

Deals brilliantly with the inticate subtleties of infidelity

[Jana · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just not good enough to keep me focused and entertained. There were glimpses of what might have been good, but I couldn't endure it even as a light summer read.