Reaching One Thousand: A Story of Love, Motherhood and Autism

by Rachel Robertson

‘He’ll grow out of it,’ my friends told me.‘He’s so intelligent,’ my family said.‘Your parents are mathematicians,’ people reminded me. ‘What did you expect?’What did I expect? We expect many things of our children. Most of the time we are only aware of these expectations when something happens to make it impossible for them to be fulfilled.When Ben is a baby, Rachel puts his behavioural quirks down to eccentricity. He likes to count letterboxes; he hates to get his hands dirty; loud noises make him anxious.But as Ben grows and his quirks become more pronounced, it becomes clear there is something else going on. When he is diagnosed with autism, Rachel must reconsider everything she thought she knew about parenting, about Ben, and about how best to mother him.Reaching One Thousand charts her quest to understand autism and to build a new kind of relationship with her son.Exquisitely written, this is a thought-provoking reflection on family and understanding and a tender love letter from a mother to her son.Shortlisted for the 2013 National Biography Award.‘Rachel Robertson has achieved something incredible with Reaching One Thousand. Infused with lyricism, love, respect, nuance and open-minded curiosity, this is the best book I've read about a parent seeking to understand the interior life of her child, and the experience of autism. An intimate and moving tour de force.’ —Natasha Mitchell, ABC Radio National‘Deeply touching but never sentimental, this remarkable book is more than a story of one boy and his mother. It’s a thoughtful meditation on the intricate workings of the human mind and heart.’ —Toni Jordan‘This is the best kind of memoir – there is a beautiful calm clarity that drew me in, and held me until the end.’ —Georgia Blain‘Reaching One Thousand is an exceptional achievement. Rachel Robertson’s deeply moving story of raising her autistic son has a kind of quiet truthfulness, born of uncommon powers of observation, wry humour, a capacity to pay attention to what matters, and a fine moral intelligence.’ —Anne Manne, author of Motherhood and The Story of I‘Robertson eloquently captured not just the trials of autism but also the rewards of being exposed to her son’s unique view of the world.’ —Weekend Australian

Genres: Nonfiction, Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Parenting

154 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2012

Reviews

[Iamshadow · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can say, in all honesty, that this is one of the best parental accounts of autism that I have ever read. In a month where autistics the world over are asking for Acceptance, not Awareness, this book is nothing less than the story of a mother who chooses to embrace and love her child for who he is, autism and all, despite the medical professional and the world at large trying to draw lines between them labelling different, individual things about him 'normal' and 'abnormal'. If I could afford to by a box of copies, I would, and I would hand it out to all and sundry, saying, "This. This is someone doing it right."

[Helen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A thoughtful memoir that unravels the realities of being a parent to a child with autism. Robertson is articulate, compassionate and well researched in both autism theory and conjecture. A beautifully written memoir.

[Jess · Rating 4 out of 5]

An amazing story which I felt covered the mother-child bond well, yet also include perspectives from both the mother and child in regards to the lives they lived. It gave me insights on how I feel at times with my son, which made me feel that I am not alone. I loved the title and had no idea what it meant until I started reading but I could see things in my son that Rachel see's in her son.
What amazed me the most was that Rachel is an Australian author and I haven't read many books in relation to autism from the Australian perspective so it did help knowing she was in the same country as me and I could relate.

[Shereen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautifully written book, thank you for sharing your story Rachel. This has really opened my mind about what it means to be a parent, and the roles we play as mothers to our children. A poignant, wise memoir.

[Pip · Rating 2 out of 5]

More literature review than memoir, it was a bit of a struggle to read. I cruised through the memoir parts, constantly reminded how each experience of ASD is different from the next, but got really bogged down when story turned into in-depth literature review.

[Talie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A re-read, but retained its value. An interesting experience of their child's autism journey. Of otherness. I wonder how Ben and mum are doing now...

[Skye · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of those books I bought as an impulse because it was on sale. It looked interesting, but I didn’t really think that much more about it. Until I picked it up. It has now moved up to my favourites list. This is a book that I’ll read again and again. A book that had me laughing at points, feeling uncomfortable, sympathetic, enlightened… so many emotions. There is just something amazing not only about Robertson’s writing, but also the story she tells and the way she tells it.

The writing style of this novel is quite unique. There is no real linear narrative, and even the chapters, whilst they have an overarching theme, tend to have multiple little anecdotes throughout. Which all lead to the same conclusion. I loved this different style of writing. It wasn’t something that I come across everyday, and the different way of telling the story highlighted the fact that this is real life. There isn’t a sense of disconnect, and yet connection between the different aspects of life with an autistic son.

What I seriously loved most about this novel is that although Robertson has had issues in the past of facing up to the fact that her son is not neurotypical, she is also so open minded. She finds all of the positives and moments that are uniquely special to her child. She points out that he really doesn’t need to be changed or made into a more neurotypical form… that his very uniqueness is what makes him so precious. And special. And unique. And just plain wonderful.

There aren’t many books that are truly life changing. That make you seriously look at the world and reconfigure what you think about it. This is one of those stories. It makes you stop and look at those who aren’t quite “normal” in a totally different light. Makes you realise that our systems and the way we think about learning and people really isn’t necessarily correct. And that there is beauty in difference. Beauty in what we don’t understand. The fact that I related a little too much to some of Ben’s difficulties just made me love this book all that much more…

[Carmel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. As a mother who is searching for the advantages and disadvantages of obtaining an ASD diagnosis for my ten year old son and twelve year old daughter, I found this book to be a very open and honest account of the pros and cons without telling me definitively what I should do. It also explores some of the 'treatments' out there and questions their motives and our own motives as parents - do we want them to be normal, and if so, what does that look like? Do we want them to fit in? Is our aim to protect them from pain and suffering? Do we want to equip them with the skills and courage to find their unique place in the world, where they can make a difference?
I related to so much in this book, including my own feelings of not fitting in as a child, my safe places and my writing as a way to make sense of everything.

[Sue · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thought provoking exploration of parenting a child with autism, while reflecting on one's own family history (of quirks and mathematicians and not fitting in). What does our definition of autism and difference tell us about ourselves?

[Rhonda Silly Mummy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recommend it with all my heart! Excellent book for parents whose children have been diagnosed. I also recommend it for their loved ones who would like to gain an understanding without asking parents too many questions!

[Jane Robertson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very honest account written wonderfully by Rachel Robertson dealing with life as a mother of a child with autism.

[Josephine Clarke · Rating 5 out of 5]

An intelligent, beautifully written memoir of a mother's journey to 'intimacy' with her son. I wish I had read it when my children were young. The messages are profound for all parents.