Becoming Light

by Riley Nash

When people meet me, they see a bright faced, happy-go-lucky kindergarten teacher who will do anything to support his friends. Not everyone knows the struggle I’ve faced to become the man I am today.

​Now it’s finally time for the gender-affirming surgery I’ve been dreaming of for years. But when an emergency leaves me without a caretaker, the only person who can take me in is my best friend’s aloof, reclusive, and incredibly sexy dad. The one who has no bedside manner and struggles to communicate. The one I’ve had a crush on for years.

​The deeper we see into each other’s worlds, the stronger the attraction gets. I’m not sure either of us can make it through the next four days without giving in.

Available on the author's website. Originally published in the Worthy Pride anthology, now contains exclusive bonus scene.

​Content advisory: This story contains references to dysphoria, transphobia/misgendering, grief, and mild medical descriptions of surgery and post-surgical recovery.

Genres: M M Romance, Novella, Queer, LGBT, Romance, Transgender, Forced Proximity

ebook

Published February 2, 2024

About the author

International bestselling author Riley Nash (he/they) is based in the rainy PNW and writes stories about broken boys who find home in each other, hurt/comfort, and mental health rep.

Reviews

[Mx. T *Chaotic Reader* · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am in love with Riley's writing. Kota's journey is one I can relate too and Jamie being so supportive and accepting and just a good human being is beautiful to read.
This is a short story but it hit me right in the center of the chest, where my little dark trans heart is beating.

[BookSafety Reviews · Rating 3 out of 5]

Book safety, content warnings, and tropes down below.

Ya know, I almost loved this. The main story was lovely and it was an interesting pairing I wasn’t sure about initially, but I ended up liking them together. I thought the trans rep was beautiful and it made me really emotional, especially the prologue/first chapter. And then — record scratch. What do you mean it’s a best friend’s dad romance and they don’t tell the best friend? Then what’s the point??! It could’ve just been a random friend or roommate with how it was handled. I was really, deeply disappointed by that. The angst with the best friend and how they react when the MCs tell them is like the best part of that trope! Blegh. It really ruined the novella for me.

⬇️ Blanket spoiler warning ⬇️

⚠️ Tropes & content tags ⚠️
Best friend’s dad
Trans masc MC
Own voices
Age gap
Cat dad
Neurodivergent MC
Exhibitionism

⚠️ Content warning ⚠️
MC misgendered on page
Gender/body dysphoria
Alcohol consumption
Underage drinking (19)
Vomiting
Prescription drug use (painkillers post top surgery)
Grief — death of best friend (recent past)
Symptoms of depression
MC disowned by transphobic parents (past)
Explicit sexual content
Public sex

⚠️Book safety ⚠️
Cheating: No
Other person drama: No
Breakup: No
POV: 1st person, dual
Genre: Contemporary romance
Pairing: M/M
Strict roles or versatile: Strict roles
Main characters’ age: 23 and 39
Series: Standalone
Kindle Unlimited: No
Pages: 80
Happy ending: Yes


“[…] I can’t do it… I’m not strong enough. But if I stay like this, I think I’m going to die.”

“You heard me. I want to know where things are, what they’re called, and how you like them to be used.”

He doesn’t get it, no matter how I try to tell him that he’s a man, that he’s sexy, that his cock and holes turn me on the same as any other cock and holes, and most of all that I’m falling for him, heart and body alike.



You can find most of my reviews on Instagram as well: https://www.instagram.com/booksafety?...

[Ellie ♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was such a cute story. I love how Jamie helped Kota accept who he is and how Kota helped Jamie grieve for his lost friend. They make a beautiful and strong couple.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a stunningly beautiful story, and I am so sad that it was so short. Not only was it gorgeously written, but also so hopeful and healing. I love these two main characters so much, and they deserve everything good.

[beautiful journey｡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another Riley's piece and another five stars. No surprises here.

[Bookishpookie_ · Rating 4 out of 5]

For a novella it exceeded my expectations...in a good way!

It's not too heavy and I would recommend this to literally EVERYONE-

[Lionelle Pmuls (That's Slump Backwards & It's What I Do) · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 STARS

Master Piece.

Best early birthday gift from me to me

[Jordan Fischer | julietfoxreads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my freaking stars y'all, Becoming Light was SO beautiful and heartfelt. Only Riley Nash could get me sobbing over an 80 page novella, this one was PERFECT for the Trans Rights Readathon. The MMC, Kota, goes through gender affirming surgery and ends up being cared for by his best friend's dad Jamie. During their time together, they form an intense connection that gave me ALL the feels. Jamie is struggling after the death of his business partner and finds comfort in Kota's strength. And Kota is so validated by Jamie's respect and support as he struggles with himself and his body. There are tender moments, there's a freaking kiss in the rain, there is gorgeously written spice. THIS is the kind of trans rep we need to see more of! Becoming Light is available on Riley's website, I HIGHLY recommend grabbing it!

[Colleen (colleenreads40) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Becoming Light is a standalone novella by Riley Nash. It was originally released as part of the Worthy: A Pride Anthology, but it's now available as a standalone on the author's website and includes an exclusive bonus scene. Becoming Light is a MM age gap, hurt/comfort romance. It's told from a dual first person point of view and has a guaranteed happily ever after. Please review the content warnings and as always, take care of yourself while reading.

Synopsis: Four years ago, Kota met his best friend's father, Jamie. That was a different time in Kota's life, and he's struggled to become the person he is today. When an emergency pulls his best friend away, Jamie is required to help take care of Kota after his gender-affirming surgery. But Jamie's a different man too, and he's suffocating under the weight of his grief. The forced proximity is pushing them together, but there's no way they have any sort of future together...right?

At last, he chuckles. “There’s no way I’m changing your mind, is there?”
“What do you think?”
“I think I’m helpless when it comes to you.”

This was one of my favourite stories when I read the Worthy Pride anthology, and I was so excited to see it had been re-released as a novella with an exclusive bonus scene. It's a relatively short read, but it really packs an emotional punch! I was captivated from the very first time Kota met Jamie, and I think it was an important turning point for both of them. That evening in the rain helped Kota understand that he needed to live as his authentic self. When we catch up with Jamie, he's grieving the loss of his business partner and best friend. These men are both very different than they were four years ago, but I think it's important in bringing them together. This story is so raw and beautiful. Jamie doesn't have much of a bedside manner and he struggles to articulate his feelings, but it's incredible watching his connection with Kota grow. I absolutely adored the bonus epilogue, it was sweet and spicy and perfect for these two. An amazing novella that I know I'll want to read again!

But I can’t be afraid when he holds my hand, or when I watch him face a world that denies his very existence with absolute courage. When he’s by my side, one beautiful day at a time feels like enough.

[TeeReads · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars

This was such a heartwarming story. For being such a short story, it really packs in the emotion and development of both characters and their growing relationship. And we get the trans joy for Kota after his gender affirming top surgery. Jamie was the very first person to accept him for who he is with no question. Jamie cares for Kota while grieving his best friend. During Jamie's time with Kota, he begins to move forward with his life and grows. They are both so respectful of each other and push to communicate some hard things together. I have liked everything from Riley Nash, but I wasn't expecting to love this quick story as much as I do. It's so simple, yet so deep and meaningful. I really enjoyed my time reading this.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Becoming Light by Riley Nash: 5⭐️

Sometimes with anthologies you never know if a story is going to be a full short story, or just a part of a story. This is a beautiful version of both because while it absolutely is a complete novella I could absolutely read ten books about Kota and Jamie. Their entire story is one of pain, healing, respect, connection, communication, and owning your self worth. Their connection is just so raw while also being so genuinely lovely and full of hope. It was a beautiful story.

✨Separately, we’re unfinished, but together we can walk forward, whole and free and bathed in light✨

[Trish Skywalker · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very sweet, quick read from Riley!
Four years ago, Kota goes with his best friend to visit her dad. His first impression is that Jamie is gorgeous, but when Kota has a very emotional moment over coming out as transgender, Jamie is there to listen and support him. So starts Kota’s crush on his best friend’s dad.
We jump forward four years, to Kota having just had his top surgery. His best friend was supposed to be there, but an emergency keeps her away, and she calls in her dad to the rescue.
What starts as Jamie’s steadfast caring of Kota after his surgery turns into a budding romance. One sexy night makes it clear to them both that they’ve found where they want to be.
Originally part of an anthology, this is a quick and lovely read that uses every page to convey the emotions of transition, healing, and falling in love.

[A.E. Jensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

💛 A Review which is not really a review of Becoming Light by Riley Nash 💛 PART ONE 💛

I am a stupid woman and I often do stupid things. Not because I’m not smart. I’m very smart. I even have it in writing. No, I’m stupid because at the age of 45 I still don’t know myself. I still don’t know who I am. It’s my biggest “regret” in life, if you can call it that, that I didn’t try to look for ME when I was a lot younger. But hey, better late than never right?

My point is, I think it’s cool, when people find out who they are early in life because it gives them more time to be HAPPY and to love themselves. Most days I feel like I’m running out of time.

Anyway, I read this book last night. I downloaded it when Riley put it up as a freebie. The cover pulled me in because I love pretty covers and I fucking adore red heads. So there you go.

I didn’t read the blurb, because I rarely do, because I’d hardly read any books if I did. Blurbs are stupid. So are tropes. They’re a pain.

Reading a Riley Nash book is not a pain. Well, it can be painful. I’m not making sense. I stayed up too late. My doctor would not approve of that. Yesterday I actually had a thought: what kind of person would I be if I got enough sleep? Scary thought.

After I finished the book, I hated myself. I do that a lot—hate myself—so don’t take it personally, Riley. I’ll look for any excuse to hate myself and if there aren’t any, I’ll make them up.

Here’s why I hated myself last night. Today I hate myself for different reasons:

💛 I’m sorry, Riley, that I didn’t know that you are a trans author. I read and love your books and I didn’t know that about you. I’m an idiot.

💛 I hate that for a major part of Becoming Light I kept seeing Kota as a girl and not a boy. I think it’s because I met him as Dakota first. It must really suck some times to be trans—Well, not to be trans, but to be trans in a world that struggles to see and accept people for who they really are. I’ll probably hate myself for a long time because I struggled to see Kota for who he truly is

💛 I don’t know if Jamie is neurodivergent because I didn’t read the (stupid) blurb. I don’t know if it’s stupid—the blurb. Maybe you’re better at writing them than I am. I suck at that (too). Anyway, maybe I just think that everyone is neurodivergent because I am. Anyway, I really liked Jamie. I’ll consider if that means that I can like myself a little, too. The odds are never in my favor.

Anyway, I did warn you that this is not a review. But I think everyone should read this fucking book. It’s an important book. I know I say this all the time—maybe I’m just good at picking important books or maybe all books are important? (Well, not religious books or self-help books—stay away from those)

Anyway, your book gave me something, Riley. It truly did. I just love your voice. It’s beautiful and it makes me jealous. And it makes me sad, and HAPPY (not full-on HAPPY but my version of HAPPY), and hopeful. I like feeling hopeful. That’s probably why I write wholesome and hopeful stories, hoping that they’ll rub off on me. Kota and Jamie rubbed off on me and I already love them very, very much. If they were real, I’d tell them,

💛 Kota, you are the cutest, sexiest, kinkiest, bravest spitfire and you are beautiful.

💛 Jamie? Ssssshhhhhh. It’s okay. He loves you. Embrace it. Oh, and try to say things in a nicer way. I know it’s hard for us sometimes (read: always) but we can be better.

🏳️‍⚧️💚 Thank you, Riley

[Kati *☆･ﾟ · Rating 5 out of 5]

5***** stars

⇢ own voice trans representation and a beautiful, heartwarming love story.


Wow. For a short story this was AMAZING!!! —carefully drawn and fleshed out characters and a deeply emotional written story. Other author’s might have only managed to scrap at the surface of a story like this, because the depth of it lies not only in Kota’s journey but in Jamie’s too. Riley even manages to picture two sides of each of the main characters.

Kota: before, when he was afraid of telling anyone and now, in transition after his top surgery.

Jamie: before, when he was put together and well organized and now, grieving his best friend’s death and letting himself go.

When they first met, to the outside world Kota is still Dakota, drowning in fear, depression and too large hoodies. He has to stay with his college roomie at her Dad’s house for the night. In the middle of that night, soaked from the rain, he breaks down and Jamie is the first person to hear how he really feels inside. That he’s a man, not a girl.

“I have a question, but people often tell me my questions are rude.” […]
“Can you tell me your name?”
“Um…” […] “Kota. My name’s Kota.”
“Thank you. It’s nice to meet you, Kota.“

Four years later Jamie has to jump in taking care of Kota after his surgery because his daughter needed to leave because of an emergency. His house is a mess, he is a mess and Jamie’s hiding in the dark.

“What’s your favorite memory of him?”
“I don’t revisit memories. They’re painful.”
“Believe me, I know. But that’s where Brendan lives now, and if you don’t go back and visit him sometimes you might lose the way.“

They’re both so wonderful in saying the exact right thing at the moment the other is pulled under by painful thoughts —see quotes. ♡

Over the span of just a few days in close proximity they start falling in love and find light in each other; unconditionally accepting of one another.


So so beautiful and an absolutely worthy entry for an anthology called the same.

[caffeinated.crystal · Rating 5 out of 5]

"I want to stop and argue that he already made me feel good by making him feel good, how his simple existence makes me feel better than I ever have in my life, but even I can recognize that this isn’t the time."

There wasn't very many peeks into what this story would be about, so I went in pretty blind, only knowing that one MC was trans and the other MC was his best friend's dad.

I mean... that was sort of all I needed. Well, that's not true. It's Riley, so THAT was all I needed. Whatever. We've all established that I'm borderline obsessed with Riley Nash. It's a thing, let's accept that and move on.

Becoming Light was Kota's story. He was the real MC. We walk along with him through his dysphoria,  his transition, his top surgery. We see him circling and being circled in turn by Jamie, Kota's best friend's dad. And while it's moving and poignant and heartbreaking - it felt different than the other Riley books I've devoured.

It was hopeful. Even when things were hard, there wasn't the hopelessness that can more often than not permeate Riley's characters. Kota and Jamie are navigating big issues that are HARD, but the hopeful feeling keeps pushing through - like the bubbles in a carbonated drink.

*To be clear, I love the hopelessness that appears in the other books. I like my characters to go through IT*

But with this story and these characters, the hopeful lightness was important. The emotions and obstacles felt real, and through it all, I knew these two would be okay.

Honestly, my only complaint was the length. I knew it was a SHORT STORY, but these two deserve so much more. They deserve everything.

[Betsy · Rating 5 out of 5]

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 𝟓/𝟓 ★ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

this was absolutely splendid, breathtaking, impeccable!!✨😭😭

i'm in love with Riley Nash's writing style, he has a way with words that is so stunning, it just feels like magic✨ how he can reach deep into my heart & soul with simply words on paper is unreal..😭

i felt sm for both MCs, Kota & Jamie were perfect together! i wouldn't have minded to read more (which is typical of me when it comes to Riley's books), & i feel like some things could've been explored more (like, i was really missing Mallory's reaction..) but this still felt like a beautifully written novella full of tender & heartfelt moments💖

❝ My family didn’t want me and my body didn’t belong to me. All I had was a complete stranger who accepted me unquestioningly, even when he was lonely and unaccepted. We still have hurdles to face, but I know one thing—he’s mine now, and I’m his, no matter what that means. Separately, we’re unfinished, but together we can walk forward, whole and free and bathed in light. ❞

//footnote: Jamie totally reminded me of Hazard! -yes i can't stop thinking about/living in the Hazard&Somerset universe c,: //

➥ ᴍᴍ
➥ ғɪʀsᴛ-ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ, ᴅᴜᴀʟ ᴘᴏᴠ
☼ ᴏᴡɴ ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇ ᴛʀᴀɴs ʀᴇᴘ 🏳️‍⚧️
☼ ʜᴜʀᴛ/ᴄᴏᴍғᴏʀᴛ
☼ ʙᴇsᴛ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅ's ᴅᴀᴅ
☼ ᴀɢᴇ ɢᴀᴘ (ғɪғᴛᴇᴇɴ ʏʀs)
☼ ғᴏʀᴄᴇᴅ ᴘʀᴏxɪᴍɪᴛʏ
☼ ɢʀᴜᴍᴘʏ/sᴜɴsʜɪɴᴇ
☼ ɴᴇᴜʀᴏᴅɪᴠᴇʀɢᴇɴᴛ ʀᴇᴘ
➽ ᴛᴡ: ʀᴇғᴇʀᴇɴᴄᴇs ᴛᴏ ᴅʏsᴘʜᴏʀɪᴀ, ᴛʀᴀɴsᴘʜᴏʙɪᴀ/ᴍɪsɢᴇɴᴅᴇʀɪɴɢ, ɢʀɪᴇғ, ᴍɪʟᴅ ᴍᴇᴅɪᴄᴀʟ ᴅᴇsᴄʀɪᴘᴛɪᴏɴs ᴏғ sᴜʀɢᴇʀʏ & ᴘᴏsᴛ-sᴜʀɢɪᴄᴀʟ ʀᴇᴄᴏᴠᴇʀʏ

[CN · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read Becoming Light as part of the 2024 #transrightsreadathon. As always, Nash's writing is lovely.

Best friend's dad isn't usually my thing, but Nash handles the relationship between Jamie and Kota deftly.

I just wish there had been more. While I liked the bonus scene, and thought it doubled well as an epilogue, I would have forgone it for spending more time with Kota and Jamie early on. How did Mallory react? What was Brandon to Jamie (a dear friend and business partner, I think, but then there was a reference not to Jamie being able to sleep in his bed after Brandon's death)? I would have loved a glimpse of Kota at work or thinking about work (or hobbies); it almost felt like he existed only in the frame of the relationship.

Still, a lovely hour spent enjoying Nash's prose is always time well spent!

3.75 stars?

[Claire Louisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ for Becoming Light by Riley Nash. It's not often I'll give 5 stars to a novella, but this one deserves it.

I've actually read this story three times now and I thought it was just as wonderful the each time.

A story of discovering your true self and being brave enough to be who you are. When Kota first meets Jamie, their best friend's dad, he is lost and hasn't told anyone who he really is for fear of rejection. I loved the way Jamie gave Kota their quiet support and strength and accepted them for who they were.

Several years later and Kota has been through much of their transition and Jamie is there for them again, but this time the connection between them can't be denied. These two fit together so well and gave the other exactly what they needed emotionally and physically.

A beautifully written story.

Can be bought on the author's website https://www.rileynashbooks.com/becomi...

[J.E. Benoit · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very sweet novella. I loved seeing Kota's journey throughout the story. He was not in a good place when we first met him, but it was wonderful to see how far he'd come by the end - being happy with his body and his life. It was so sweet how Jamie was the first person to truly see him. It was the start of their bond that was only solidified a few years later when Jamie wound up being Kota's caregiver after his surgery.

Being a novella, a lot of Jamie and Kota's relationship development wasn't shown, but I still believed their connection and was happy they had their HEA. There's a bit of hurt/comfort on both sides, and I like how they each brought out the light in the other. And I was glad this edition included a bonus scene. It was nice seeing a glimpse further into their future!

[Elaine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was beautiful

The book follows Kota (23) and Jamie (39). The beginning of the book occurs when Kota is younger (still an adult) and is struggling with wanting to come out as trans but is terrified of losing everyone he loves. Jamie helps him in a moment of crisis and provides that reassurance. Years later they meet again when Kota has top surgery. Jamie struggles to provide support but is doing his best. I really enjoyed watching their connection grow during their few days together during recovery then growing more once Kota is healed more. I realize it is short on purpose but I wasn’t ready to give them up when it ended.


It wasn’t written but it felt like Jamie was on the spectrum based on his difficulty with emotions, social norms, and what not.

[Reading Rommance · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5/5. This was such a great, short read. Kota is wonderful. He really seems like a bright light, very kind and positive. I love Jamie, too. He's very straightforward and serious, but also kind and thoughtful. They work so well together. I enjoyed the slightly forbidden aspect of Jamie being Kota's best friend's dad and I adored the caretaking! I wish we'd gotten a little more about how Mallory reacted, but it's a short story so I get that wasn't the main point.

Notes: 2/5 spice levels, caretaking, best friend's dad, age gap, trans mc, grief, novella, homophobic family, supportive bff, teacher/architect

[bookstosoothethesoul · Rating 3 out of 5]

Aww this was the sweetest and softest book! Age gap really isn't my thing so I normally avoid it but this didn’t have any fetishization of Kota being young so it ended up working for me. Riley Nash is so good at writing about broken characters finding a home and this book is no exception. It's such a comforting read. He did a great job developing the relationship in the limited space that he had in this novella. I could have used a few more conversations or touch more emotional development but I had a wonderful time regardless.

[audiobook_chaos · Rating 4 out of 5]

A quick but emotional read , Kota knew they were in the wrong body but family made them feel it was wrong so they just kept everything bottled up inside . When Mallory takes Kota to stay at her dad’s Kota never expected for a stranger to see them but Jamie saw how much Kota was hurting and gave them the courage to change . Four years later Kota goes for his top surgery and Mallory asked her Dad to look after Kota when he was released while she was away . Jamie is hurting after losing Brendan and this time it’s Kota’s turn to help Jamie and it was sweet watching them fix each other .

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

God how is it possible that Riley Nash broke me and put me back together in under 100 pages? Becoming Light is a novella about Kota becoming the person that they are, and finding Jamie the one person who finally sees him as himself. It’s an emotional story of life directly after top surgery, where Kota is a little lost, Jamie and his neurodivergent self is suffering and struggling after losing his partner. These two find each other and soothe all the rough parts of the hard lives they’ve lived. This little book just lit up my little black heart, and I want more!

[Ashleyann Sanabria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ok, listen, THIS STORY!!! 😭😍🥹 this novela had me on the brink of tears, then cackling, then heart achy, then cackling, then grinning so wide and trying not to actually scream. It is so freaking cute, and heart wrenching, and sweet! Honestly, I adored every moment. I just want to read it again. I want it on audio so I can listen to it over and over. I want it in paperback so I can hold it. Perhaps I can just tattoo it on my body? Ugh, LOVED IT.

[Lady Macbeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars
I didn't expect for this story to be so low angst, but I surely appreciated it.
I loved how Kota and Jamie got together and how they helped each other heal. Both of them had scars and both of them were feeling inadequate, even if because of very different reasons.
The only thing that prevented me from giving a higher rate was a much needed but missed conversation between Mallory and his father and his best friend.

Recommended.

[Kitty · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a lovely novella and I very much enjoyed reading it. The trans rep is great. I don't tend to read too much best friend's dad but it didn't bother me at all. The characterisation was great. I feel it suffered a little for being so short, there were some things that could have been explored more, but overall a good read.

[Liza Broadaway · Rating 4 out of 5]

A sweet novella and like only Riley can write the trans rep was beautiful. Jamie's unquestionable respect for Kota and who he is was just amazing. I love that in this trans rep book we saw a different take on acceptance. Kota seemed to really love all of himself and the sex between these 2 was really special in my opinion....🥵 too! Who doesn't love sex in a public library!!?

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolutely beautiful age-gap novella with trans representation. Riley Nash does it again. Wonderful writing. The communication between the characters is refreshing. Jamie and Kota's story is gorgeous.

[Roxanna Mascarenas · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a beautiful story. I was crying right along with Kota on the porch in the rain with them. Jamie was the perfect example of support in asking what is your name. Loved it. Thank you for sharing even the brief glimpse into their story.