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The Flesh Cartel #16
To the Victor
In the exciting final season of the Flesh Cartel . . .With the help of the FBI, Mat Carmichael has let himself be re-taken by the Flesh Cartel. Objective? Rescue his brother, exact revenge, and destroy the entire organization from the inside.FBI Special Agent Nate Johnson will be playing backup, of course, but to get Dougie out alive, Mat will need to make sure his brother is out of Allen’s clutches before calling in the troops. Now that Mat’s back in bondage, though, there’s no way he can do it alone. He’ll have to ask for help from the only man within the Cartel who cares about Dougie’s Nikolai. And even knowing it will destroy him, Nikolai delivers.Bringing down the Cartel should have been the hardest part, but it doesn’t take long to realize that the real challenge has only just begun. Dougie doesn’t know how to be free anymore, and Mat is forced to admit that he may no longer be strong enough to help himself, let alone his brother. But with loved ones in their corner and their love for each other banked but not extinguished, Mat and Dougie learn that you can come home again, no matter how desperate the circumstances you’ve left behind.Reader discretion advised.
58 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 4, 2014
4 people are currently reading
219 people want to read
About the author
Rachel Haimowitz
41 books719 followersM/M erotic romance author, freelance writer and editor, sadist with a pesky conscience, shamelessly silly, proudly pervish. I'm a twitter addict (@rachelhaimowitz), and I blog every M/W/F at Fantasy Unbound. To learn all about my current and upcoming projects, please stop by my website. I love to hear from folks, so feel free to drop me a line anytime at metarachel (at) gmail (dot) com.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 66 reviews
August 15, 2018
I’m coming, Dougie. I’m coming.
No matter what.
This series keeps getting better and better!
Finally Dougie is starting to see through Nikolai's manipulation, at least there is hope for him after all.
Ty and Zane! *Squeeee* my favorite FBI agents came to help one of my Favorite characters.
He approached the men first. One was older, mid-thirties maybe, brown hair, beautiful hazel eyes, body lean and muscled, face an envious mix of pretty-yet-masculine. He was kneeling at the feet of a giant of a man—not so bad looking himself with his muscular build and gently curling dark hair—radiating quiet menace
Nate and the FBI have manage to infiltrate the cartel with the help of Mat! The guy is my hero, his bravery is just precious, and his love for Dougie! Omg! is infinity. He continues to go through hell for that ungrateful boy.
Maybe they could have fallen in love.
Not just infatuation or lust, but the kind of love that would have had him bringing Nate home to Dougie, asking for Dougie’s blessing. It could have been good. It could have been better than good.
Now it was just . . . sad.
Shit is about to go down! I can't wait to read about Nikolai and Allen's fate.
No matter what.
This series keeps getting better and better!
Finally Dougie is starting to see through Nikolai's manipulation, at least there is hope for him after all.
Ty and Zane! *Squeeee* my favorite FBI agents came to help one of my Favorite characters.
He approached the men first. One was older, mid-thirties maybe, brown hair, beautiful hazel eyes, body lean and muscled, face an envious mix of pretty-yet-masculine. He was kneeling at the feet of a giant of a man—not so bad looking himself with his muscular build and gently curling dark hair—radiating quiet menace
Nate and the FBI have manage to infiltrate the cartel with the help of Mat! The guy is my hero, his bravery is just precious, and his love for Dougie! Omg! is infinity. He continues to go through hell for that ungrateful boy.
Maybe they could have fallen in love.
Not just infatuation or lust, but the kind of love that would have had him bringing Nate home to Dougie, asking for Dougie’s blessing. It could have been good. It could have been better than good.
Now it was just . . . sad.
Shit is about to go down! I can't wait to read about Nikolai and Allen's fate.
May 3, 2014
4 "He tried to be Nikolai’s brave boy." Stars
Mat will do anything to find Dougie and I mean...... anything
My thoughts...
Dougie...poor Dougie, stop blaming Mat for everything..
As they arrive on evil Allen's Island all he cares about is finding Dougie and bringing him home.
With the help of Nikolai and the FBI already on the Island, what could possible go wrong?
Once again this episode draws you in. You feel hope, despair and hope again.
All the characters have a place. Loved seeing Ty and Zane play their part in helping Mat.
Nate is just perfect, alpha, protective...I just hope these two can have some kind of relationship in the future.
Roger, what does the future hold for him?
Dougie...at last..... He felt safe. He felt . . . loved
And finally the brothers Mat and Dougie..
Mat will do anything to find Dougie and I mean...... anything
My thoughts...
Dougie...poor Dougie, stop blaming Mat for everything..
As they arrive on evil Allen's Island all he cares about is finding Dougie and bringing him home.
With the help of Nikolai and the FBI already on the Island, what could possible go wrong?
Once again this episode draws you in. You feel hope, despair and hope again.
All the characters have a place. Loved seeing Ty and Zane play their part in helping Mat.
Nate is just perfect, alpha, protective...I just hope these two can have some kind of relationship in the future.
Roger, what does the future hold for him?
Dougie...at last..... He felt safe. He felt . . . loved
And finally the brothers Mat and Dougie..
September 10, 2016
I LOVE MATT... AND MR. HORSE COCK.....nuff said !
May 20, 2017
With books like this, who needs movies? Hollywood is seriously overrated, LOL.
WOW!! This story is so amazing!! My hand is trembling reading this...
Following Mat's dramatic escape and the intervention of the FBI (again with Ty and Zane in a very awkward cameo role as agents), Mat is back in Allen's possession, joined by his FBI protector/love interest Nate in what must be the most awkward undercover mission the FBI has ever seen...
Mat is determined to rescue Dougie who had to suffer cruelly from Allen's wrath after Mat escaped. But with both Mat and Nate having to follow every one of Allen's sadistic whims, until the FBI team is able to track down Douglas on the crazy millionaire's remote island estate, you can expect some forced public intimacy between our heroes.
What has become a painful routine for Mat in the course of eleven months in captivity now seems to shatter the fragile bond both men have.
But for Mat, it's worth losing the connection to the only man who every treated him kindly, if he can get back his brother and leave this hell behind...
I have rarely read a series that captivated me as much as the Flesh Cartel. It is everything, from thriller to dark erotica to romance, I can recommend this 100%!!
5 stars!! Even though I could seriously do without Ty and Zane here...
WOW!! This story is so amazing!! My hand is trembling reading this...
Following Mat's dramatic escape and the intervention of the FBI (again with Ty and Zane in a very awkward cameo role as agents), Mat is back in Allen's possession, joined by his FBI protector/love interest Nate in what must be the most awkward undercover mission the FBI has ever seen...
Mat is determined to rescue Dougie who had to suffer cruelly from Allen's wrath after Mat escaped. But with both Mat and Nate having to follow every one of Allen's sadistic whims, until the FBI team is able to track down Douglas on the crazy millionaire's remote island estate, you can expect some forced public intimacy between our heroes.
What has become a painful routine for Mat in the course of eleven months in captivity now seems to shatter the fragile bond both men have.
But for Mat, it's worth losing the connection to the only man who every treated him kindly, if he can get back his brother and leave this hell behind...
I have rarely read a series that captivated me as much as the Flesh Cartel. It is everything, from thriller to dark erotica to romance, I can recommend this 100%!!
5 stars!! Even though I could seriously do without Ty and Zane here...
May 3, 2014
Unbelievable. Really, truly, completely unbelievable. This episode is horrible, and then we see Ty and Zane again, and that was a shocker. But then it's really very awful, only to become amazing and I was, yet again, given hope. I know it will again get worse before it gets better, but I can handle it. I'd handle anything for this story.
Roger... You poor man. What will happen to you. I've never felt more compassion for him than I do now.
Nate... You crazy bastard. What did you think would happen?
Dougie... You sweet and wonderful soul. I know this is hard but please hold on.
Mat... Holy fuck. Your strength is amazing. I'm in awe of you. Don't give up. Don't ever change.
Bring on the next one!
Roger... You poor man. What will happen to you. I've never felt more compassion for him than I do now.
Nate... You crazy bastard. What did you think would happen?
Dougie... You sweet and wonderful soul. I know this is hard but please hold on.
Mat... Holy fuck. Your strength is amazing. I'm in awe of you. Don't give up. Don't ever change.
Bring on the next one!
May 16, 2014
"No matter what..".......*heart swelling*
4,5 emotional stars!
There is hope after all.....these last few pages had me on the edge of my seat!
It was painfully beautiful and cruel....my tears were falling on their own! The last scene made all the cold dread i felt melt away and was replaced with a warm hope!
I hated Dougie -at some point-and felt sorry for him at the same time,then i warmed to him at the end,after all he was a brainwashed victim but i can't help but be biased...... But finally some sense were knocked into him!
As for my boy mat i hope he find happiness,he continues to be amazing,he is the perfect protector-always-there brother...the perfect idol! He deserves a lot of good things to be in his life!
And roger,i don't know what's gonna happen to him! I wish there is gonna be some hope for him too!
Now i can't wait for the next EP to see what's gonna happen....i wish there is gonna be some sweet revenge against the sick sadistic bastard allen!
4,5 emotional stars!
There is hope after all.....these last few pages had me on the edge of my seat!
It was painfully beautiful and cruel....my tears were falling on their own! The last scene made all the cold dread i felt melt away and was replaced with a warm hope!
I hated Dougie -at some point-and felt sorry for him at the same time,then i warmed to him at the end,after all he was a brainwashed victim but i can't help but be biased...... But finally some sense were knocked into him!
As for my boy mat i hope he find happiness,he continues to be amazing,he is the perfect protector-always-there brother...the perfect idol! He deserves a lot of good things to be in his life!
And roger,i don't know what's gonna happen to him! I wish there is gonna be some hope for him too!
Now i can't wait for the next EP to see what's gonna happen....i wish there is gonna be some sweet revenge against the sick sadistic bastard allen!
May 13, 2014
This was another really enjoyable installment and I can relax a little bit after that amazing ending. I also temporarily forgot about Ty and Zane's appearance in the last book and didn't even register at first when a 'fake' slave called Tyler turned up to go to the island! That was a pleasant surprise I can tell you!
May 4, 2014
No bad, not bad at all. Finally a little more action again. Love the ending. I'm curious to see how Mat's little brother will do in the next installment.
Was it just me, or were there Ty and Zane in this book, the Ty and Zane? I mean how did they get here? Why? I'm not complaining, I'm just curious how it came about :).
Now off to wait for the next episode.
Was it just me, or were there Ty and Zane in this book, the Ty and Zane? I mean how did they get here? Why? I'm not complaining, I'm just curious how it came about :).
Now off to wait for the next episode.
July 13, 2016
4 stars!
The beginning of the final season in The Flesh Cartel was very promising. It's finally there - the glimmer of hope at the end of all the darkness Mat and Dougie had to go through.
Once again, the authors managed to create extreme tension and - knowing how dark their stories are likely to be - I was prepared for the impact of this installment, but it still managed to break my heart.
I can't wait to read about the after; I'm afraid to see how Mat and Dougie will cope, but I'm also very excited. These stories apparently got me twisted!
And before I forget to say it: I LOVE Nate!
The beginning of the final season in The Flesh Cartel was very promising. It's finally there - the glimmer of hope at the end of all the darkness Mat and Dougie had to go through.
Once again, the authors managed to create extreme tension and - knowing how dark their stories are likely to be - I was prepared for the impact of this installment, but it still managed to break my heart.
I can't wait to read about the after; I'm afraid to see how Mat and Dougie will cope, but I'm also very excited. These stories apparently got me twisted!
And before I forget to say it: I LOVE Nate!
August 25, 2014
Wow!
This was the best gift I could get for my birthday ;)
The best in the series!
Just what we've all been waiting for!
Sigh...
My Mat and Nate:
Love them so much!
This was the best gift I could get for my birthday ;)
The best in the series!
Just what we've all been waiting for!
Sigh...
My Mat and Nate:
Love them so much!
May 2, 2020
Nate and Mat's operation to save Dougie finally kicks off!
The recent books were much more enjoyable because the abuse and torture weren't explicitly detailed like the first half of the series. It's also really nice to see my favourite boys Ty and Zane again, though it's certainly not in the way I expected.
There were certain aspects of the operation which I find incredulous, such as
The story was good, but I guess I'm someone who really harps on the realism of the story too much to let me fully enjoy it.
4 Stars!
The recent books were much more enjoyable because the abuse and torture weren't explicitly detailed like the first half of the series. It's also really nice to see my favourite boys Ty and Zane again, though it's certainly not in the way I expected.
There were certain aspects of the operation which I find incredulous, such as
The story was good, but I guess I'm someone who really harps on the realism of the story too much to let me fully enjoy it.
4 Stars!
May 6, 2014
4.5 stars
A great episode that had a lot going on for all the main players as it races toward the end of the series.
Mat, in true hero form, continues with a laser focus to do anything he has to in order to secure Dougie's return to him. As much as he trusts and likes Nate though, he is aware of Nate's obligation to the mission and is of the mindset that he is the only one who will put Dougie's safety first.
Nate gets more that he expected in this one and the scene he is forced to play out with Mat was painful in so many ways.
Being back in Dougie's head brought out so many emotions. He is at the end of his rope, wanting to hold out for Nikolai, but at the same time wondering where his salvation truly lies or if he should just give up. I'm hoping that last scene helps him turn the corner.
Roger is a mess and Nikolai is still playing his games and I am not sure how he plans to have it end. This one had me on the edge of my seat trying not to just rush through the last pages to see what happened.
A great episode that had a lot going on for all the main players as it races toward the end of the series.
Mat, in true hero form, continues with a laser focus to do anything he has to in order to secure Dougie's return to him. As much as he trusts and likes Nate though, he is aware of Nate's obligation to the mission and is of the mindset that he is the only one who will put Dougie's safety first.
Nate gets more that he expected in this one and the scene he is forced to play out with Mat was painful in so many ways.
Being back in Dougie's head brought out so many emotions. He is at the end of his rope, wanting to hold out for Nikolai, but at the same time wondering where his salvation truly lies or if he should just give up. I'm hoping that last scene helps him turn the corner.
Roger is a mess and Nikolai is still playing his games and I am not sure how he plans to have it end. This one had me on the edge of my seat trying not to just rush through the last pages to see what happened.
July 4, 2017
The FBI is planning to go undercover to retrieve Dougie and shut down the Cartel as much as possible. I was pleasantly surprised to see that Ty and Zane volunteered to as one of the Master/slave agents.
Things go a little crazy when
Things go a little crazy when
July 27, 2017
5 pained, hurting stars!
In this instalment Mat and Nate but also Dougie must survive perhaps the most difficult and traumatic "test" so far...
Mat willingly exposes himself again to his monster masters, not-so-much-less-smug Nikolai, and brutal, atrocious Allen. "No matter what" as Mat says... For Dougie he can persist and combat anything!
Nate willingly takes place of another agent in the big anti-Cartel operation. He doesn't know, doesn't REALLY understand what he's getting himself into... And he's forced to do things, bad, horrific things that will influence his future and his relations with Mat...
And Dougie? He unwillingly suffers... He suffers a lot in retaliation for Mat's escape... And maybe he finally, truly starts to believe that the people around him LIE! That maybe Nikolai isn't as good as he seemed to, isn't as attached to his good boy as he claimed he was... And maybe Allen is a phoney too?! He yells, he punishes, he sneers and he threatens but... He can't do anything to really damage Dougie... And maybe he should've escaped with Mat... Maybe he should've listened to his brother...
Whom will Dougie believe???
An emotionally-wrecking instalment but oh-so-good too :(
In this instalment Mat and Nate but also Dougie must survive perhaps the most difficult and traumatic "test" so far...
Mat willingly exposes himself again to his monster masters, not-so-much-less-smug Nikolai, and brutal, atrocious Allen. "No matter what" as Mat says... For Dougie he can persist and combat anything!
Nate willingly takes place of another agent in the big anti-Cartel operation. He doesn't know, doesn't REALLY understand what he's getting himself into... And he's forced to do things, bad, horrific things that will influence his future and his relations with Mat...
And Dougie? He unwillingly suffers... He suffers a lot in retaliation for Mat's escape... And maybe he finally, truly starts to believe that the people around him LIE! That maybe Nikolai isn't as good as he seemed to, isn't as attached to his good boy as he claimed he was... And maybe Allen is a phoney too?! He yells, he punishes, he sneers and he threatens but... He can't do anything to really damage Dougie... And maybe he should've escaped with Mat... Maybe he should've listened to his brother...
Whom will Dougie believe???
An emotionally-wrecking instalment but oh-so-good too :(
June 14, 2019
5 Stars
July 16, 2023
Ya por fin, Mat junto a Nate y un equipo internacional van a atacar a la gente del Cartel, y si es posible, capturarlos a todos. Pero quizas no lleguen a tiempo para rescatar a Doguie de las torturas que le estan causando, quizas ya sea demasiado tarde, o quizas no. Lograra la operacion llegar a un final feliz? Lograran capturar a todos y liberar a Doguie?
Ya aqui la trama comienza a sentirse diferente, el caracter de Mat cambia de nuevo. Nikolai se siente mucho mas artificial que antes, y Roger parece estar sufriendo mas que todos. Pero lo mas tonto de todo es el agente Nate, tan eficiente, tan renombrado, a cargo de toda la operacion, y no es capaz de ver a Mat a los ojos? De verdad, Mat es tan ciego que no se da cuenta lo que pasa con el agente?
Me imagino que los autores querian darle un final feliz, y alguien nuevo a Mat para cuidar, pero realmente tenian que forzar las cosas entre ellos?
Ya casi terminando la serie, vamos a ver que pasa con Doguie despues del rescate y que pasa con Nikolai y el resto del Cartel.
Ya aqui la trama comienza a sentirse diferente, el caracter de Mat cambia de nuevo. Nikolai se siente mucho mas artificial que antes, y Roger parece estar sufriendo mas que todos. Pero lo mas tonto de todo es el agente Nate, tan eficiente, tan renombrado, a cargo de toda la operacion, y no es capaz de ver a Mat a los ojos? De verdad, Mat es tan ciego que no se da cuenta lo que pasa con el agente?
Me imagino que los autores querian darle un final feliz, y alguien nuevo a Mat para cuidar, pero realmente tenian que forzar las cosas entre ellos?
Ya casi terminando la serie, vamos a ver que pasa con Doguie despues del rescate y que pasa con Nikolai y el resto del Cartel.
June 26, 2018
Rough, Painful, Necessary and so worth it.
I hate that I’m nearing the end.
I hate that I’m nearing the end.
March 14, 2015
AHHHHH! I can't believe this is almost over. As much as I want my HEA for my Matt, and even Dougie, I'm going to miss this series.
Q: Is Ty and Zane, THE Ty and Zane from Cut & Run?
I'm just starting that book.
I've been spreading these last episodes out, hoping to make it last, but I don't think I can stay away for long, after the ending in this one. I just need to see Matt happy so much.
LOVED this episode.
Q: Is Ty and Zane, THE Ty and Zane from Cut & Run?
I'm just starting that book.
I've been spreading these last episodes out, hoping to make it last, but I don't think I can stay away for long, after the ending in this one. I just need to see Matt happy so much.
LOVED this episode.
May 3, 2014
4.5 stars
I loved this one. Mat continues to be so amazing, his devotion to saving Dougie is incredible. Speaking of Dougie.....
I'm also finally getting into Nate. Until this book, I wasn't sure how I felt about him but I am finally warming up to him.
I loved this one. Mat continues to be so amazing, his devotion to saving Dougie is incredible. Speaking of Dougie.....
I'm also finally getting into Nate. Until this book, I wasn't sure how I felt about him but I am finally warming up to him.
April 17, 2017
The story moves on. Matt is the ultimate tortured hero, I hope it all works out for him, I really feel for his character. Just loved the appearance of Ty and Zane in this one.. lol!
September 16, 2014
review later ...
Read
December 4, 2025i am physically ill
May 9, 2014
A review by The Blogger Girls.
Things are really moving along now that the plans of retrieving Dougie are finally put into motion. The players are all trying to get into the right headspace for the sting. Some are having more trouble than others though, and Nate actually has to step in and take a more active role in the operation.
Mat is, as ever, focused on Dougie and getting him back no matter what he must endure in the process. He is trusting Nate more and recognizes he has feelings but doesn’t quite see any possibility of a future after certain events have taken place. He seems remarkably realistic mentally about what has gone on and what his issues are, even recognizing how much therapy might help him when all is said and done. There is a touching scene with Roger where Mat tries to convey to him that life without Nikolai will be good and what he deserves. Poor Roger has been under Nikolai’s thumb for so long that he can’t envision life without him and is terrified of the prospect altogether.
Dougie, poor Dougie. He is still hanging in there through the days and days of torture Allen puts him through in trying to get the details behind Mat’s escape. He tries so hard to be strong. Finally, in this episode, we see him thinking a bit more rationally where Mat is concerned. Dare I say he is actually seeing him in a different light and maybe believing Mat really does love and would do anything for him.
Again, I was on the edge of my seat for a lot of this. Allen continues to be a difficult bastard not making things easy in any sense. Just when it seems the end is in sight, the story ends, and we are left with our mouths hanging open waiting for more. I’m completely invested in this series, and while I couldn’t keep myself from reading each one as soon as they hit the shelves, I’m excited for those who will be able to read it all in one go. This was yet another solid installment of this gripping story.
May 7, 2014
What I love about this series is that it always surprises me. It has gone from erotica to suspense to thriller to pure book cocaine.
In this episode there is the worst rape scene I've read. Not because it is more graphic but because it shouts ' this comes from a real place'. I believe the author dug deep when she wrote this. Matt has already lost his present and past but now we also see him lose his future with Nate.
Ty and Zane! I cannot really express how gleeful this makes me. To use other characters from a completely different series- what fun! Why don't we do it more often?
The last thing I liked was that Dougie is found. You know how occasionally in RL terrible things do have a happy conclusion? I am glad that it looks like the author has decided to give these boys an ending which they and she deserve.
Can't wait for the next one....
In this episode there is the worst rape scene I've read. Not because it is more graphic but because it shouts ' this comes from a real place'. I believe the author dug deep when she wrote this. Matt has already lost his present and past but now we also see him lose his future with Nate.
Ty and Zane! I cannot really express how gleeful this makes me. To use other characters from a completely different series- what fun! Why don't we do it more often?
The last thing I liked was that Dougie is found. You know how occasionally in RL terrible things do have a happy conclusion? I am glad that it looks like the author has decided to give these boys an ending which they and she deserve.
Can't wait for the next one....
May 8, 2014
I think we are inching closer to the end. Definitely some interesting stuff that happened in this one. The good guys are closing in and the next book should be really telling on what will happen to Allen, Nikolai, Roger, etc. Looking forward to it!
May 6, 2014
Loved it...can't wait for the next one!!!
March 9, 2015
Dougie
Mat
Horse Cock...errr Nate
Nikolai
Allen
Ty
'what?'
Zane
'Really!'
See Evidence 5B: Cock In Ass....
It's another fucked up day in the Flesh Cartel! Hot damn, I love it!!
Mat
Horse Cock...errr Nate
Nikolai
Allen
Ty
'what?'
Zane
'Really!'
See Evidence 5B: Cock In Ass....
It's another fucked up day in the Flesh Cartel! Hot damn, I love it!!
January 5, 2025
*4.5*
I would really have wanted to give this episode 5 stars, but I just couldn’t.
It.broke.my.heart.again.
After the revenge fiesta that was last episode, where Mat’s bravery and carefully optimistic view on the future made my heart beat so hard, and put tear in my eyes, I was expecting something similar, knowing (well, hoping) that in #16 they would finally get to Dougie.
So, here is my review, i.e. rantings about poor, poor Mat..:_(, and other things.
Oh, almost forgot the return of the Cameos...
I can’t believe this will all wrap up in three episodes!! That’s like ca 200 pages only! And there are so many things that needs to be dealt with…
I would really have wanted to give this episode 5 stars, but I just couldn’t.
It.broke.my.heart.again.
After the revenge fiesta that was last episode, where Mat’s bravery and carefully optimistic view on the future made my heart beat so hard, and put tear in my eyes, I was expecting something similar, knowing (well, hoping) that in #16 they would finally get to Dougie.
So, here is my review, i.e. rantings about poor, poor Mat..:_(, and other things.
Oh, almost forgot the return of the Cameos...
I can’t believe this will all wrap up in three episodes!! That’s like ca 200 pages only! And there are so many things that needs to be dealt with…
July 29, 2014
***Note: The last reviews for this series will be brief. There is so much in this last season that cannot be talked about without spoiling and I refuse to do that. Just know, for me, this journey with Mat and Dougie – as hard as it was at times and yes including the ones where I thought I wouldn’t make it – were worth it. It was all worth it.
To the Victor was a reader’s game of breath play for me. The authors of the series should hold lessons in technique to hold one’s breath, because that is what I did yet again with this episode. I read these episodes back to back and I am lucky I had them available at my immediate disposal but now I am all caught up with them and I don’t know what to do.
We get Mat in this and he is in pure Mat form; the fighter, the hero, the brother and the man. I keep saying it lately, but Mat is amazing. Whether prepping a team for their mission, to trying to protect Nate, to “no matter what” for Dougie, he is so good. I hurt for him so much watching him submit… on his own. But he did it and he did it gorgeously and with such purpose.
Nate, my GOD Nate what did you do? All that is stolen from you. Stolen from you and Mat, it made me sob at my desk. I cannot believe you put yourself in that position, but the fierce protective nature you have over the fighter you worshiped, I adore you, sir. Simply adore you.
Dougie, you are at the end of your new rope my boy. So hopeless. So lost and so Douglas that I kinda wanted to smack you and then cradle you in my motherly arms rocking you to sleep while singing James Taylor. Goodness. You have had me so conflicted this whole series and while I found beauty in your submission, I think you need to let go. But how the fuck are you going to do that? That is the question that repeats over and over again in my head and my heart. How do you come back from that? Can you come back from that?
Nikolai, my crush still stands. I don’t know what will become of you, but you do things for those you hold dear. You are a manipulative bastard, but I still kinda dig ya dude.
Once again, that end. The end of this episode… talk about making you want more. Good lord. How the hell do they do it? Knowing what they know and end the episode like that?
God Speed, Mat. God Speed.
To the Victor was a reader’s game of breath play for me. The authors of the series should hold lessons in technique to hold one’s breath, because that is what I did yet again with this episode. I read these episodes back to back and I am lucky I had them available at my immediate disposal but now I am all caught up with them and I don’t know what to do.
We get Mat in this and he is in pure Mat form; the fighter, the hero, the brother and the man. I keep saying it lately, but Mat is amazing. Whether prepping a team for their mission, to trying to protect Nate, to “no matter what” for Dougie, he is so good. I hurt for him so much watching him submit… on his own. But he did it and he did it gorgeously and with such purpose.
Hope. He’d forgotten what hope felt like. Like power. Energy. Happiness, even.
Nate, my GOD Nate what did you do? All that is stolen from you. Stolen from you and Mat, it made me sob at my desk. I cannot believe you put yourself in that position, but the fierce protective nature you have over the fighter you worshiped, I adore you, sir. Simply adore you.
Dougie, you are at the end of your new rope my boy. So hopeless. So lost and so Douglas that I kinda wanted to smack you and then cradle you in my motherly arms rocking you to sleep while singing James Taylor. Goodness. You have had me so conflicted this whole series and while I found beauty in your submission, I think you need to let go. But how the fuck are you going to do that? That is the question that repeats over and over again in my head and my heart. How do you come back from that? Can you come back from that?
Nikolai, my crush still stands. I don’t know what will become of you, but you do things for those you hold dear. You are a manipulative bastard, but I still kinda dig ya dude.
Once again, that end. The end of this episode… talk about making you want more. Good lord. How the hell do they do it? Knowing what they know and end the episode like that?
God Speed, Mat. God Speed.
December 3, 2014
Well this one is the hardest one i've had to read yet....Mat is taken back to Allen by Nikolai and although the FBI is going with him he still faces humilitation and of worst things...Nate.....What Nate is made to do is horrendous and tore me apart....The appearance of Ty and Zane made me double take...when the name Tyler was mentioned I didn't think anything of it but when Zane was mentioned..well it was just wow..But when Nikolai put his hand on Ty i was screaming at my kindle..No damn way should he be touching my Ty....Thank god that's over and the ending..Oh thank god.time to heal for these boys and lets hope that they both can x
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