Black Friend: Essays

by Ziwe

From a rapidly rising comedy star, a bold, biting, and deeply hilarious takedown—and send-up—of our culture’s (mis)understanding of race Ziwe made a name for herself staring interviewees in the eye and “How many Black friends do you have?” She’s an expert at making people squirm, coming right out and asking the tough questions about race and racism that our culture has made white people experts at dancing around. In The Book of Ziwe, she turns this incisive perspective on the culture at large, with the signature blend of devastating bluntness and incredible warmth that keeps her guests coming back. Throughout the book, Ziwe mixes bite-sized moments of insight with longer essays that take a range of forms, from serious distillations of cultural phenomena to a transcript of “A Conversation with a Cancelled White Person,” and even a Choose Your Own Adventure-style piece about navigating race in everyday life. Personal and funny, but also challenging and engaging, The Book of Ziwe tackles questions about race and racism head-on, approaching the issue in a manner that evokes the way it comes up in the real world—not through deliberate studies of history and theory, which are so important, but in an awkward conversation at a party or a yikes comment from a coworker in the break room. The book lives in the moment of discomfort that can be the most truly educational way of unlearning biases. Plus, like everything Ziwe does, it will startle you with how much it makes you laugh.

Genres: Nonfiction, Essays, Memoir, Humor, Race, Audiobook, Comedy

192 pages, Paperback

First published October 17, 2023

Reviews

[Eden Yonas · Rating 4 out of 5]

love love loved this. thank you for your service ziwe!

[Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious essay collection that made me laugh out loud a few times and smile throughout. I most appreciated Ziwe’s clear, confident voice and how her humor doesn’t punch down. The essays themselves were entertaining and tackle a variety of race-related topics such as the idea of having Black friends as virtue signaling, cancel culture, and affirmative action. While I wouldn’t say her takes on these issues will be necessarily new for those who read and think a lot about race and racial justice, she still offered thoughtful and well-argued perspectives throughout this collection.

[Emma Griffioen · Rating 3 out of 5]

"The problem is that public outrage has a short memory... So rarely do the ramifications of cancel culture extend past an internet connection. And when they do, it is important to remember that they usually result in an incredibly privileged person temporarily experiencing slightly less privilege than they were accustomed to, which is still a very high baseline of privilege compared to the rest of the world. Personally, I long to be a canceled rich man because that is just a vacation." Pg. 78

This was a witty and insightful collection of essays by comedian, writer and talk show host, Ziwe! It had an element of memoir in it as well, as Ziwe shared many personal experiences from her youth, time in college, and at the start of her career. It was a very perceptive and thought-provoking collection, that not only fans of Ziwe should read, but that people, in general, could learn from, especially since the humour aspect and format make it very accessible.

The problems I had with this book were the footnotes and the grey boxes of text. The footnotes took away from my focus almost every time. I didn't find they gave enough context to things mentioned in the essays to be fully necessary, and there were just far too many in each chapter/essay. There were also many personal anecdotes via the footnotes, that I think would have served more of a purpose if they were just included in the essay rather than having to flip to the footnote every time. Additionally, the grey boxes of text seemed very unnecessary and really took me out of the essay every time they were included. If they were put in between chapters/essays they would have been less of a bother, but adding them within the essays just felt like an interruption.

Overall, I am happy I read this collection of essays, especially since I love Ziwe's talk show. I would recommend it to any fan of hers, especially because it is a short, but lively read.

[Astrid Rojas · Rating 3 out of 5]

big fan of her pov/jokes/advice, not a fan of the book’s format re: footnotes, grey boxes??

[Deandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolutely ICONIC book. Only complaint is that it wasn’t longer because I loved it so much.

Ziwe is so fucking funny, she is everything I aspired to be but was too lazy to be (but her comedy scene struggles really spoke to me, a fellow improv reject!). Now I’ll be going back to rewatch her show because I need more Ziwe ASAP.

[leah · Rating 4 out of 5]

this essay collection was funny and intelligent - my favourite type of non-fiction! ziwe shows she is a master in combining humour, personal anecdotes, and astute observations on our sociocultural climate and pop culture. looking forward to reading more of her writing!

4.5

[nikki | ཐི༏ཋྀ​​݁ ₊ ݁ . · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.25★

A highly entertaining and candid insight into the life of a comedian who has experienced life from an average non-famous American to Internet buzz to mainstream celebrity with the perspective of all these stages as a Black woman.

Ziwe has a unique and perceptive voice, and her writing paints a vivid picture of her memories and experiences as well as a reflection on race in american society as a whole.

[chantel nouseforaname · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Black friends come in all shapes and sizes. Yet the archetype is often a two-dimensional character meant to support the non-black protagonists’ more complex humanity. ” …“While I am a supportive friend, I am not a supporting character. I am the protagonist of my perfectly imperfect story.” - Ziwe

Go off, Ziwe! Talk your shit.

Ziwe is absolutely hilarious but when she’s dead ass serious, girl is shaking the table. When she’s talking about her parents she’s profound and realistic about her experience as a first-gen kid becoming successful in a field not designated by her Nigerian parents.

I appreciate her honesty, felt seen, enjoyed her recollections and bite backs. I agreed with her thought process on a lot of her takes — especially this one:

“Either shut up and take the money or don’t participate at all. But the middle ground of awareness is an insult wrapped in a bow. If you’re going to be problematic, say it with your chest.”

Agreed. I couldn’t agree more.

Some of the essays felt a little underwhelming so I’m on the 3.5 rounded up but yo Ziwe deserves every star, just for being her. A lot of white copycats: Bobbi Althoff, and all the other basics, tho they got the moneyyy and connections.. THEY COULD NEVER with the content. Them and their stolen schtick could never. We gotta give Ziwe the credit where credit is due! Plus, I lived for her talking about how Spike Lee both ruined and influenced her life to the highest degree. It was great!

[Olyvia Armstrong]

This review is only for Ziwe and Black people !! I adore Ziwe which is why I won’t star rate this because I don’t want to mess up her rating and think white people should read this (and she should get her bag)… but that’s because it’s clear that white people are the intended audience for this book. It’s the Black friend perspective that you would gently tell your white friend, not the Black friend perspective that you’d talk to other Black people about- which is what I hoped it would be. Parts of this book I really thought were interesting but so much was slow because it was about explaining things for people who may be thinking about this for the first time. Ziwe quotes Tori Morrison about the very function of racism serving as a distraction, but Tori Morrison also talks about not watering down stories or changing language to make her literature more accessible to White people because they can keep up, not centering the White gaze!! These essays would be stronger stories if Ziwe was writing as if talking to Black people and actually digging into the content.

White people have the internet, they can jump into the story, let’s stop dumbing down everything for them.

I am not asking for a bunch of activist essays, I’m asking for Black people to be the center of who is being written to more when talking about race/racism/ etc.

[☆ lydiature ☆ · Rating 5 out of 5]

re-read ✨ book #52 of 2025!!

even better than the first time i read this!! i was deeply impressed by ziwe’s takes on race, aging, affirmative action. she’s a breath of fresh air honestly. i even convinced several of my coworkers to read this!!


review from 2023:
i had no idea who ziwe was before i read this, but this book made me want to watch her videos!! she was so funny and real. she approached very serious topics like racism and cancel culture in such a funny and interesting way. her entire collection felt like a breath of fresh air. she wasn’t trying to convince anyone of anything. it was like i was just chatting with a best friend. honestly i loved everything about this. i completely forgot that i was even reading an essay collection. i laughed so much, and she wasn’t even trying to be funny. she was just naturally funny and yet perceptive.

put this on your tbr asap. you won’t regret it. this was the first easiest 5 ⭐️ i’ve ever given. the next book she writes, i’m preordering it.

[Nicole Heckel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am so sorry and so upset about this, but I just don't think this was a well written book. It was weirdly disjointed and hard to follow, and felt more like a very long ramble than distinct essays. I didn't understand the choice to use the (sometimes MUCH too long) footnotes and odd inserts, which helped make it feel both poorly conceived and executed.
I think there was something there, there were really poignant moments, some very funny lines, but something important was missing.
It's a super short book and does pack a punch, also I seem to be wildly in the minority, so I do think it'd be worth anyone's time to pick it up.

[Sofía · Rating 1 out of 5]

Sad because I love Ziwe and was really looking forward to this one, but I didn't enjoy it at all. The essays were so half-baked, meandering observations without actually much getting to any point, that the end of each one was a surprising relief.

[Erica Scoville · Rating 5 out of 5]

ziwe for president 💖💘💓💝💞💗💕

[Hannah (hngisreading) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love Ziwe. These essays were funny and smart. I especially loved the insight we get into her work ethic as well as snippets from her very iconic interviews.

[Ash · Rating 5 out of 5]

I truly loved this. I relate to so many of the topics Ziwe discussed and I will gladly read another of her works🙂‍↕️

[Beda · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.0 Stars I read this book of essays for two reasons: to fulfill one of the Goodreads challenges; and because I like the author. I am glad I read the book; Ziwe had some good things to say about race and opportunity, even if some of her own path to success is currently being systematically dismantled by the current resident of our White House. It makes me sad to think those same pathways will not be available for other talented people of color.

I decided to listen to the audiobook on this book because the author was reading it and it was written in essay format, which sounded like it it would be perfectly suited to audiobook That was a big mistake, and is in fact the reason my rating of this book is not higher.

First, she was not the greatest narrator, stumbling over her words frequently. It sounded very unprofessional, and was probably one of the worst narrations I’ve ever listened to. She really should have had a professional do the job, and maybe only performed an intro like so many authors do.

Second, she filled the book with footnotes, which she insisted on reading despite the fact that they were often side quest stories or other information that took the listener totally out of the flow of the original story. It was very difficult to make heads or tails of some of the essays because all the side quest footnotes blurred and confused the original point into something unrecognizable…assuming she actually HAD an original point.

I cannot emphasize this enough: if you choose to read this book, do NOT choose the audiobook route. Usually I enjoy audiobooks read by the author, but in this case it was a listening disaster.

[Veronica · Rating 3 out of 5]

Una serie di saggi, a tratti divertenti anche se li ho trovati sconclusionati e un po' troppo "americani", nel senso che non sono riuscita a ritrovarmi nel modo di scrivere della autrice.
I temi affrontati sono molto interessanti e di indubbia attualità ma sono trattati in modo molto "Tumblriano" o "Twitteriano" (poco approfondimento, molta "polemica"). L' utilizzo delle note a piè pagina, mi ha lasciata perplessa ( se non si leggono si perde il filo del discorso o comunque il sottotesto dell'affermazione/ battuta fatta).
Ho provato qualcosa di nuovo, non mi è dispiaciuto ma non lo rileggerei.

[Brynne Wisner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ziwe is a queen this essay collection was fantastic and so so funny! Fingers crossed this isn’t her last essay collection.

[Vito]

Been a fan of Ziwe since I stumbled upon her YouTube show, Baited, one day thanks to the platform's algorithms. Please clap for a social media's algorithms showing us something that we didn't know we needed. Since then, Ziwe's career has taken off hosting her own show, appearing on Forbes' lists and even dropping in on one of my favorite podcasts - Bitch Sesh - where she shared her love of the Real Housewives.

In "Black Friend," Ziwe shows us what's behind all of this revealing someone who struggles to live as a Pisces. As a Pisces myself, I get it. Mostly moving with comedy throughout - especially in the many footnotes - Ziwe reveals more of herself while still keeping some of it redacted. And that's okay.

[Jacqui · Rating 5 out of 5]

brilliant and hilarious, footnotes especially had me laughing out loud

[Brittany · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to love this book but that proved to me a tough task. Half-baked with entirely too many paragraph long footnotes.

[lauraღ · Rating 4 out of 5]

If Beale Street could talk, it would cuss them out.

A few days ago, I was only tangentially aware of who Ziwe was, but after watching her interview with Vince Staples, (it's literally Art) I watched a few more of her videos and liked them. And when I saw that she had a book, I decided to check it out on a whim. I'm really glad I did. It's a funny, clever, biting series of essays about race, life, her experiences as the daughter of Nigerian immigrants in America, her experiences working in comedy and TV and pop culture. It's one of those books where... idk, even if she wasn't saying a lot that I didn't already know, I feel like I still got a lot out of it. The humour alone was worth it; she had me laughing out loud multiple times. And there was still a lot of depth, especially when she discussed racism and sexism and her complicated relationship with her parents. I also really liked the discussions about celebrity and privacy. There were a few anecdotes that I didn't really think fit (like reading out the entire recommendation letter) but that didn't really take away from my enjoyment.

Listened to parts of the audiobook as read by the author, and it was pretty okay. (There were some mini essays that weren't narrated, as well as excerpts from her interviews, so I'm glad I also had the book.) She seemed to narrate in an almost clipped and abrupt fashion, and while I'm almost certain it was deliberate, it didn't always click for me. Still, not as bad way to consume the book, and I'm happy I gave it a chance. Light-hearted but also deeply insightful. Kudos.

[pears ✧ ☽ ☼ ଳ · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️4.25⭐️

[Brittni · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a black American woman/person, this was like reading my own story with just a few details tweaked. It was an entertaining read, but I didn't learn anything new. I read to dissociate and escape reality, not relive what happens when I leave my house. (I chose to read it this month as it was one of the books for the summer Goodreads challenges.) I do love the way Ziwe writes though. There was humor, insightful interviews, eye-roll interviews, and many gems, quotes I would steal in order to frame explanations for anyone who asks what it's like to be me. Good book, but I'm a fiction girl.

[ruby! · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ziwe's tone and humour is just so incredibly spot on. She's sarcastic yet still remains incredibly powerful in the message she's conveying - her anecdotes and stories are so deeply personal but somehow so witty. Her harrowing experience of being followed in the woods by a lone SUV had me cackling at how this man thought she was going to "steal the woods". I really enjoyed her commentary on the entertainment industry, and how every experience, priviledge, and open window you take advantage of can stray your path.

My only nitpick was the structure of the footnotes - I love the concept and content of them! I however, found them very tricky to follow due to their structure and place. They generally threw off the flow of an otherwise very smooth and digestible set of essays. I think reading this on Kindle worked in my favour - but on a traditional hardcopy, I feel flicking between the notes and content of each essay would have further confused me.

But otherwise - I am so, so obsessed with this, and so, so obsessed with Ziwe. I hope she continues to write and publish her essays, because I'll most certainly be picking up her next work :)

[jess · Rating 3 out of 5]

My issues with this were all in the format? Each essay relies heavily on the use of footnotes both to provide additional context or info and then also as a comedic device. There were also multiple boxed asides. Unfortunately this made for a confusing and disjointed reading experience, distracting from what is otherwise some solidly great writing and commentary.

[Anam Tahir · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'M ZIWE'S BIGGEST FAN! AN ICON!

Criminally underrated, Ziwe and her book

She is one of the funniest ppl in comedy rn, her talkshow is a goldmine 💰

[Yoni Elbaum · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am now an expert on racism in America. If you have any questions lmk

[Kelsey Darragh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny, insightful, anything less than 5 stars would be my whiteness showing

[KT · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ziwe described her own comedic style best when she went on Dua Lipa's podcast:

Dua: "How would you describe your comedy?"

Ziwe: "my comedy is referential and aware...it's satirical, it's bombastic, but I put it in a package that's like a Bratz doll, it's pink and it's cute so it's digestible... but she has a lot to say"
----------------------------------------
This collection of essays was so good and so funny! It has all of the elements that Ziwe self-describes about her comedy; it's aware, bombastic, and digestible, but full of hilarious and on the nose references. You get her thoughts on race, art, affirmative action, reality tv, and her heavily religious Nigerian upbringing. How she became a national sensation in a perfect storm of the Covid pandemic and the BLM movement. Even some original poetry she wrote in college, which I enjoyed as a poetry neophyte. My favorite part was actually the footnotes! (like the long multi page one about Barbara Walters legacy that could've been its own essay).

No one is doing it like Ziwe. I will point out that at times it was slightly unfocused and I wasn't quite sure what point she was trying to make with a few of the essays but that wasn't an issue.

I think both fans and non-fans would enjoy this book.