The Shape of Joy

by Richard Beck

Our joy has a geometry, a shape. We must learn to look outside ourselves to find it. In a world where mental health issues and loneliness are at an all-time high, it's more important than ever to find ways to cultivate joy, community, and meaning in our lives. Many of us feel trapped within ourselves, struggling to find a way out of our own negative thoughts and emotions. Author and psychologist Richard Beck (Hunting Magic Eels) argues that we are struggling because our shape is currently "curved inward." We are self-focused, self-absorbed, ruminative. We're trapped inside ourselves. And we're definitely not happy or filled with joy. So how do we control our egos and ambition when those drives have been useful to us in the past? How do we engage our imagination and our faith? In his latest book, The Shape of Joy, Beck offers a powerful argument for how we can break free and rediscover the transcendent and the sacred. Beck argues that to find true joy and fulfillment, we need to understand the importance of "curving outward" and moving beyond the self to encounter true lovingness. Drawing from the principles of positive psychology, Beck explores concepts like gratitude, mindfulness, ego volume, and the small self to provide readers with a road map toward a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life. Whether you're struggling with mental health issues, yearning for a deeper connection with your faith, or simply seeking greater happiness and fulfillment, The Shape of Joy will offer you an inspiring vision for a better future.

Genres: Spirituality, Christian

197 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 15, 2024

About the author

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Reviews

[Ethan Sink · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this, although as a regular reader of Beck’s blog, most of the insights weren’t totally new to me. That being said, it was helpful to have his whole argument laid out. Beck makes the case that, as positive psychology has demonstrated, transcendence is good for your mental health; in fact, it’s the cure! His unique argument is that transcendence has to be grounded in something real, something wholly outside your own mind, and that a relationship to that transcendence depends on gratitude and acceptance.

In doing this, Beck provides a unique evangelistic touchpoint for today. We know we have a mental health crisis, but psychology and therapy can only take us so far. We need to depend on something outside ourselves, something real, in order to truly be joyful and lead fulfilling lives. Shouldn’t that tell us something about who we are, where we came from? Beck, trying to keep this book evangelistic rather than apologetic, offers an invitation to explore rather than using this argument to conclude that God must exist. I actually appreciate that posture. Christians who want to reach out to an unbelieving world would do well to read this and consider how to reach out to our neighbors and invite them into living well.

[Riley Fisher · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have had the great privilege of knowing Dr. Beck for most of my life, and what fun it has been! His books are a great window into what it’s like to be his friend and his classes are some of my favorite I’ve ever taken. I love the way this book took some concepts he’s explored in other, more religious commentaries and expands upon the actual psychological science of emotion. This is one of those things that I could’ve burned through, but forced myself to take slowly so I could let it sink in, because I knew it would have some things I needed to hear.

[Tim Otto · Rating 5 out of 5]

Receptive to Joy

Beck, as usual, does a terrific job of synthesizing philosophy and the best of modern psychology into practical help. Vulnerable about his own journey, this book radiates the joy to which it points.

[Preston Nichols · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was split between giving this book a 3 and 4 star rating. I’m rating this relative to Beck’s other books I’ve read (Slavery of Death and Reviving Old Scratch). Three stars is probably not reflective of how much I enjoyed the book and found it helpful but I just liked his other books a little bit more.

In this book, he offers insight from positive psychological research on how true, lasting joy can only be found by transcending oneself. Having been led to believe by Descartes—and to a greater extent, Freud—that truth and healing could be obtained by inward reflection, modern psychological research has found the opposite. Our inward retreat has caused us to become cut off from the world and it’s taken a toll on our mental health. Focused on the self, levels of self-esteem and social status have worn us all out and made us desperately unhappy. The foundation of the modern self rests on shifting sands, unable to find stability. Looking inward won’t do.

Beck’s second half of the book helps begin the shift by teaching readers to turn away from self. He pictures the ego as a honeycomb with sides including volume, focus, investment, stability, valuation, and size. Before we can truly look beyond ourselves, we must step back from the mind chatter and retrain our ego. We must renounce the games of self-evaluation and comparison in exchange for humility. We find our value not in trophies we win but in our inherent value of having been made in God’s image. The last step before moving outward is experiencing awe. When we experience awe in the world we begin to be pulled out of ourselves and our ego experiences a much needed deflation. Reorient the ego and you’re headed in the right direction.

Finally, Beck appeals to readers who are skeptical of transcendence to take the leap from the cave into the sunlight. Transcendence values are the “invisible facts” that cannot be scientifically proven but they shine through and call us to encounter the sacred presence beyond. This transcendence gives us a stability that even our closest friendships and family bonds cannot offer. When we matter due to transcendent values, we are able to find a joy—unlike happiness—that is non-circumstantial and changes how we view hardships in life. Then we can live in a feedback loop of gratitude and joy that sends us in an upward spiral of self-giving love and freedom. When we love, we reach out to others, share our lives, and connect our personal stories to something greater. When we start looking outwards we find ourselves again and experience joy that will carry us through even on our worst days. To find joy, we have to have an outward shape.

As always, Beck’s writing is brief, personal, and down-to-earth. Every time I read one of his books, I wish I could sit down with a him over a cup of coffee and talk. This was a helpful reminder in the throes of grad school, having a newborn, and being busy in ministry, to take time to stop and look beyond myself. It’s so easy to get caught up in life, retreat into myself, and base my joy on shaky ground. Beck gives readers a lot to think about and practice to prevent burnout and find the joy that only a transcendent God can offer.

[Erika RS · Rating 4 out of 5]

Richard Beck’s The Shape of Joy, argues that true joy is found not in turning inward but in directing our attention outward—toward others, the world, and something larger than ourselves. Blending psychology, philosophy, and theology, Beck critiques self-esteem culture and the endless pursuit of status, showing how these efforts often leave us anxious, lonely, and exhausted. Instead, he suggests that humility, awe, and a shift away from self-preoccupation create the conditions for a more stable, fulfilling life.

The book’s strongest moments come from its engagement with psychological research to dismantle the idea that happiness depends on self-validation. The modern self is trapped in itself, in the hero games we play to try to achieve a sense of significance. Yet the key to joy seems to be looking outward, toward something greater than ourselves. A sense of awe, humility, and transcendence is a better foundation for joy. Joy, it seems, comes from an ego that is quiet, other-focused, self-forgetting, non-reactive, sees itself as unconditionally valuable, and is small in size. Overall, this argument resonated strongly with me. Both in my own experience and my observation of the world around me, joy appears at its strongest when the self is least present.

However, Beck falters in his discussion of transcendence, often wavering between treating it as a broad psychological phenomenon and implying a more theistic conclusion. His argument for cosmic mattering—the idea that true stability comes from knowing one’s worth is unshakable and beyond personal achievement—is persuasive, but he never fully reconciles whether this must be grounded in a divine reality or if it can exist within a secular framework. This vagueness weakens the book, especially for non-religious readers like myself. I would have liked to see a deeper exploration of non-theistic foundations of worth that pull on non-Christian religious and philosophical perspectives.

Despite this limitation, The Shape of Joy is a thought-provoking and well-written exploration of how to move beyond the traps of modern self-focus. It will resonate with those weary of the relentless push for self-optimization and success. Instead, it points to a different path to joy—one that is quieter, humbler, and more deeply connected to the world beyond the self.

[Christopher Hutson · Rating 3 out of 5]

A theologically astute psychologist explains why your own ego is holding you down and what to you can do about it in order to become a more joyful person.

[Jonathan King · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Her identity wasn't effort; it was rest." In Shape, Beck demonstrates how Descartes, Freud, et al, led us away from transcendent, existential, cosmic Reality to a reality defined by the inner life. The inward curvature of the modern self project has left us with a vague and tireless project to define and realize the fullest potential if the self. This inward turn has left us weary and wanting, trapped in the allegorical cave of the mind. Beck swiftly but astutely shows how this has played out in the therapeutic journey for many of us. Beck upholds the value of good therapy, particularly to help with trauma healing and to recover the plot line of your life when crisis, grief, loss, and mental health illness assails us. However, he also shows how the therapeutic journey can keep us stuck in the cave of the mind, leaving us vulnerable to the next crisis that will surely come. Beck, in pointing to current research, shows the surprising evidence that the outward turn is a more durable and substantial maneuver. Research is showing that humility, awesome, wonder, gratitude, love, and ultimately a refuge within a transcendent/cosmic/existential narrative that gives us an anchor of worth and belonging are the path to durable joy, peace, and rest we crave. In this book, Beck isn't necessarily presenting an apologetic for the "Christian" transcendent narrative identity, though he shares a few stories that show his hand as one whose life is rooted in the refuge of Christ. Notably, the story of Mr. Kenneth in prison and the epilogue story of Ms. Beth dancing in a tiara at Freedom are some evocative anectodal stories worthy of reflection. As someone whose life is marked by the exhausting modern self project, I deeply appreciated this book! I read everything Beck writes. This was a bit different, but a helpful survey of the history of psychology and psychotherapy as it relates to the healing journey. I also appreciate that the book is only 150 pp! My only minor critical feedback would be that I wished Beck would have addressed trauma a bit more carefully; the story about Moses to start a chapter felt off key for the rest of the book and intended audience; and, I wish the endorsements weren't mostly male pastors because that is a turn off for passing the book along to friends who are skeptical, dealing with church hurt, deconstructing, etc.

[Falon Barton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am honored to have read this book before its publication to write an endorsement. This is what I originally wrote: "As a minister to college students, I found The Shape of Joy both personally and professionally impactful. Beck reveals the toxic cultural soil in which we are all planted that prevents us from attaining the life of meaning and fulfillment that we desire. More importantly, he offers an antidote that will allow our lives to bear the fruit of goodness and peace. I can see a study and discussion group based on The Shape of Joy being absolutely transformative for the young adults I know — and for me." Every chapter I finished, I thought, this would be a great fit for [insert a topic or day for one of the classes I teach].

This book is covered in highlights, but I'll just include this quote near the end, since it captures the major movements of the book, and will hopefully be a reminder to me of how, when, and why I need to return to this read:

"Awe. Mattering. Joy. Gratitude. Here is your roadmap to happi- ness. And the journey has a single destination: transcendence. Joy has a shape. The same shape as wonder, worthiness, and thank- fulness. And don’t just take my word for it; this is the story the science is telling. Psychological stability and contentment aren’t discovered by looking inward. Happiness, peace, wholeness, and resiliency are found in connecting your story to something bigger than yourself. Study after study has shown this. In experiences of wonder and awe, transcendence creates a small self, a self that has turned away from its internal chatter to connect with a larger reality. The invisible fact of your cosmic mattering secures your value and worth in the face of loss and failure. Your mattering stabilizes your ego and creates psychological resiliency. Finally, as transcendent emotions, joy and gratitude create an upward emotional spiral, enabling you to look beyond material circum- stances, in a prison or driving an old car, to experience life as graced and blessed. This is the shape of joy. The transformative power of living beyond yourself" (142-143).

[Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my favorite reads of the year. I heard Beck speaking on the John Delony show. As a former West Texan and person interested deeply in both psychology and theology I was curious.
I really enjoyed this book, Beck's process and the way he laid out his discussion. I love that he started with Descartes.
It also really challenged me and left me better.
I got really excited about what I was reading and would read whole chapters out loud to my husband.
This a great instructor on reality and how to be in right relationship with yourself in light of reality. Especially in a world where we don't practice healthy relating or reality.
Recommend.

[kpschoening · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book based on an online recommendation (it helped I have heard the author speak before and it is by a professor where my daughter goes to college).

I honestly was intrigued all the way throughout the book. I read the book within days of arrival. Lots to digest and think about it. When I finished the book, I knew I would read it again in the future.

I highly recommend reading it.

I will be gifting a copy to my daughter.

[Ashley Chesnut · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend! It looks at why we don’t experience joy and what’s needed to reorient ourselves.

[Bret Hammond · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Joy isn't ultimately found on your best day. Life is glorious when your dreams come true. The urgent, pressing question is how we face our worst days. The secret to happiness is found in the darkness." - Introduction.

I've often said, "Everyone gets one really bad day. The choices we make today will determine how we handle that day when it comes." I hear echoes of that in Richard Beck's The Shape of Joy: The Transformative Power of Moving Beyond Yourself.

Beck delves into research, experience, and theology to explore what joy truly is and where we often mistakenly think it originates. He challenges the way our culture turns inward in the name of self-care and emotional health, arguing instead for an outward movement—one that brings us into alignment with what is true, beautiful, and good.

By his own account, Beck is (or has been) a "therapist, father, husband, sibling, friend, coach, teacher, mentor, and pastor" (p. 31). I know him best as an author and Professor of Psychology at Abilene Christian University. I've read several of his books and enjoyed most of them. Even the ones I didn't enjoy, I still appreciated, because Beck always makes me think.

After protracted searches—both curved inward and outward—Beck finally lands on joy in Chapter 9—a chapter that's absolutely loaded with sermon fodder! It was by far my favorite chapter. But don't skip straight to it. You need to experience the journey to fully appreciate the joy.

"There is a joy that goes beyond being a mere 'positive emotion,' a joy that goes deeper than mere pleasure." - page 133.

It was here that the realization hit me. So often, when I'm talking with pastors or ministry leaders who are feeling burned out or overwhelmed, the one thing I don't hear is joy.

Beck's insight reframes that absence. For him, joy isn't just an emotion we stumble into on a good day; it's a way of seeing—a lens through which we interpret both our work and our worth. It's not something that happens to us; it's something we learn to perceive. And that shift in perception can mean the difference between spiraling downward under the weight of ministry or being quietly pulled upward, even in the dark.

For my friends who are struggling, Richard Beck would be a fantastic guide to help you find your way back to joy. You don't have to fix everything. You don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to be willing to turn outward and take the next faithful step.

"Stop and ask yourself: Is the story you're telling about your life bringing you more gratitude and joy? Or is the story you're telling making you more fragile, triggered, and vulnerable? You are either spiraling upward or downward. It all depends on how you construe the world." - page 144.

[Joel Wentz · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really like Richard Beck, and this is very good. Fantastic example of thoughtful integration of cutting-edge science, psychology, cultural study and deep spirituality. His account of the 'ego' is really helpful. The writing style is super inviting, warm, and pastoral as well.

If anything, I wish the book went a bit deeper in a few places (though, it's obviously pitched to a popular-level audience, which makes sense). I'm super interested in intellectual genealogies, and so his account of Descartes and Freud as the source of the 'inward turn' was fascinating, but felt a bit rushed, though I suspect he is exactly right.

Easy to recommend, especially for our current moment, and for its super inviting style.

[Abby Graham · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had high expectations for this book as it came highly recommended by members in my community. Yet, I found it be just okay. I would have appreciated more diversity in his research and acknowledgement of privilege.

[Brenda Seefeldt · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a clever book written by a positive psychologist who uses the research to prove our need for transcendence on a higher power for our mental health, our joy. You will immediately recognize he is drawing us to our need for a Savior who isn't us. Clever.

[Savannah Rae Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting, compelling, and thought provoking. A beautiful way to start the new year!

[Davy Hall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very thought-provoking & educational. The end of the book is so powerful

[Bethany Gerdin · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5. The chapter on humility was the best part of the book.