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Gleefully Macabre Tales

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A short story collection from the author of DEAD CLOWN BARBECUE. Over 85,000 words' worth of insanity! Cemetery Dance Magazine says that "No author working today comes close to Jeff Strand's perfect mixture of comedy and terror." GLEEFULLY MACABRE TALES compiles thirty-three of his most twisted blends of cringe-worthy horror and ghoulish humor, with a couple of serious pieces thrown in just to mess with you. This collection includes tales from his three chapbooks (Two Twisted Nuts, Socially Awkward Moments With An Aspiring Lunatic, and Funny Stories of Scary Sex) and numerous other stories both popular and obscure, including "Really, Really Ferocious" (the one with the wiener dog), "High Stakes" (the one with the slot machine), "Roasting Weenies by Hellfire" (the one with Satan), "The Bad Candy House" (the one with a very unpleasant old man at Halloween) and "The Socket" (the one with the eyeball socket). And, as a special demented bonus, it includes the novella Disposal. It also includes two of his entries in the World Horror Convention gross-out contest, but you don't want to read them. So if you're looking to laugh, gasp, gag, or do all three at the same time, making sort of a weird sound that hurts your lungs and elicits odd glances from nearby pedestrians, this is the book for you!

282 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2008

108 people are currently reading
349 people want to read

About the author

Jeff Strand

229 books2,210 followers
Bram Stoker Award-winning author of a bunch of demented books, including PRESSURE, DWELLER, CLOWNS VS. SPIDERS, AUTUMN BLEEDS INTO WINTER, MY PRETTIES, the official novelization of ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES, and lots of others!

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5 stars
164 (45%)
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131 (36%)
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52 (14%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
Profile Image for Christine.
407 reviews60 followers
April 9, 2022
-Tired of being a boring, average-Joe, a man comes to the conclusion that lunatics have more fun, and embarks on a quest for insanity.
*-A woman suffering a dry spell is given a love potion by an elderly gypsy woman, but it has some very undesirable consequences.
-A gruesome re-telling of the three little pigs.
-In the wild west, the town doctor creates experiments in his lab, leading to an outbreak of goliath insects.
-Although they have known each other since they were babies, a woman realizes she doesn't know her husband as well as she thought, and discovers that he harbors sick, murderous desires.
*-A porn director spots a golden opportunity when he meets a real-life werewolf.
-The devil takes pity on a damned newcomer to Hell, offering him a special mission back on Earth, as a way out, during which the man realizes perhaps Hell wasn't so bad.
-A reindeer determined to help pull Santa's sleigh gets an opportunity to save Christmas.
*-A boy finally learns what his father does in the attic.
-After a mugging gone wrong, a man loses an eye and becomes obsessed with sticking things in the empty socket.
*-A chauvinist gets some bad karma when he disrespects a woman he sleeps with.
*-An old man who hates kids uses Halloween night to get some revenge.
*-A robber gets the shock of a lifetime when his victim asks him for a favor - she wants him to kill her husband, but he just won't die.
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These aren't all the story summaries, but most, and I've starred my absolute favorites. I loved this collection, no surprise. Jeff Strand is just one of those authors for me, that I know I
can buy anything he puts out and I'm going to love it. Not to mention, I literally could not stop laughing at the last two stories especially.
Profile Image for Sjgomzi.
361 reviews162 followers
June 1, 2023
I laughed my ass off reading these sick disgusting stories. Not sure what that says about me, but I loved every word! Bonus points for making me almost vomit for only the 2nd time ever while reading a book! 😉😃🤮
Profile Image for James.
Author 135 books430 followers
June 1, 2015
Jeff Strand is such a friggin' goofball. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Profile Image for Mort.
Author 3 books1,625 followers
January 3, 2018
"I'd tried three decades of sanity and it just wasn't working out. I was bored with my tedious, intellectual, clear-focused existence. I wanted to lose my mind."
SOCIALLY AWKWARD MOMENTS WITH AN ASPIRING LUNATIC.

In my opinion, Mr. Strand is a genius. I loved every moment of this book.
You may need to ask yourself some questions, like:
How deadly can a wiener dog really be? Are food fights inappropriate at certain times? Are stories about Sex Potions and Werewolf Porno appropriate for this book? (Hell, yeah!) What is the absolute biggest fear, as a man - on the pain scale, that you can imagine? (Trust me, Mr. Sensitive is worse!) How hard can it be to kill a man and dispose of his body?

"COMMON SENSE" is probably that shortest short story I have ever read - 36 words - and it made me laugh a lot. In fact, since I also have a sadistic sense of humor at times (who would have thunk it?), I read this story to a friend who had cracked his ribs a few days earlier. He grabbed his ribs, went down on the floor and, I swear this is true, I witnessed somebody rolling on the floor laughing for the first time in my life. He also wheezed: "Fuck-off...that isn't...even...funny!" I didn't call him a liar. I mean, I'm not completely insensitive, you know.

Recommend it to anybody with a sense of humor!
Profile Image for Bandit.
4,946 reviews578 followers
May 10, 2014
This was just fun. Pure morbid fun. A collection of short stories that actually precisely lives up to its name. Jeff Strand is an wildly imaginative, profoundly disturbed and incredibly funny individual and these stories are a fine example of that. Must read for those who like their horror gross and hilarious, often at the same time. Very entertaining read. Recommended.
Profile Image for M.L. Roos.
Author 4 books15 followers
May 29, 2011
Jeff Strand is a sick puppy. And I mean that in the most sincere way. This book is dark, intelligent, hysterical, and gut wrenching all at the same time. Abbey's Shriek, Really, Really Ferocious,Mr. Sensitive alone are worth the price of admission.

Brilliant. Finally someone who is not afraid to go past the line........wayyyyy past the line.
Profile Image for Not Now...Mommy's Reading.
261 reviews124 followers
May 3, 2011
I loved this collection of short stories by Jeff Strand and at a later time will give a full review on it. But for now I'll state that his writing style is addictive and I can't wait to read other titles by Mr. Strand.
Profile Image for Chris.
Author 1 book73 followers
October 16, 2022
3/5.

A silly, gory, ridiculous, funny-at-times, macabre collection of short fiction from Jeff Strand. This was my first foray in to Strand's work, and I enjoyed some of the stories. I did find myself regularly underwhelmed by the climax's of many of them, though, and feel like there could have been more effort put in to that. I like short stories, both as a reader and a writer, and there's some good ones here, but there are some poor ones too. Still, this was an easy and quick read and I had fun with it.
Profile Image for Todd Russell.
Author 8 books105 followers
January 9, 2013
Titles of short story collections sometimes don't describe them well, but this one fits perfectly. If you haven't enjoyed the comedic, macabre brilliance of Jeff Strand, then take the plunge with this 34 story collection and you'll get a good idea of what some manic scenes in his novels can be like. Some of my favorite stories in the collection include (in no particular order):

"Mr. Sensitive" - this is a very adult, cringe-worthy voodoo story that makes the YA A Bad Day For Voodoo seem like a nursery rhyme. I would much rather have read an expanded version of this (not too expanded, of course).

"Disposal" - a novella involving a man who is hired by a woman to kill her cheating husband. Problem is the guy is into black magic and he's virtually indestructible. Some truly laugh out loud moments in this dark treat. This was originally released as a limited hardcover standalone book. It is worth the price of the whole collection, even if you don't enjoy any of the other stories.

"The Bad Candy House" - a bitter man besieged by Halloween pranksters decides to take revenge on trick-or-treaters by poisoning the chocolate he hands out--with a twisted smile!

"High Stakes" - a slot machine that punishes losers by getting more than their money.

There are some misses here, but what's the fun in talking about those? If you like humor horror short fiction, it doesn't come much better than this. An enthusastic 4 star recommended read.
Profile Image for Douglas Ogurek.
Author 66 books7 followers
May 30, 2019
Comedy horror author Jeff Strand has a talent for making readers think his stories are going to end one way, then steering them in a different direction. He also has a knack for writing characters whose utter lack of remorse registers as funny. This collection is full of such stories.

My favorites include "Really, Really Ferocious," about an old man who confronts a young solicitor with his supposedly ferocious small dog and "Cap'n Hank's Five Alarm Nuclear Lava Wings," about a jerk who thinks he can take any kind of hot sauce. A humorous, unexpected ending for both.

I also enjoyed the concluding novella Disposal, in which a thief attempts to dispatch a woman's husband in exchange for sexual favors. It isn't an easy task.

Entertaining and inventive. I didn't want the book to end.
8 reviews
December 24, 2021
This book is unbelievable h

I really hope that I never start to read another book like this again. I wanted to put it down so often, but it was like I couldn't convince my brain to stop reading this. I hope I can sleep at night from letting my brain dwell on this piece of garbage!!
56 reviews1 follower
August 20, 2017
Ten stars, so funny

Dark, horrible, pitch black, darker than the infinite void of space. The humour in this book is as dark as it gets. But it's awesome. These stories are disgusting, and I love them.
Profile Image for Kenneth Skaldebø.
109 reviews10 followers
April 17, 2018
This book is disturbing, disgusting and most important of all funny as hell! It’s a good selection of Jeff Strands work, he sure do entertain. My personal favourite must be “the three little pigs” a quite disturbing and realistic retelling of the old fairy tale. “common sense” is pure short genius.
58 reviews
December 3, 2017
Had a great time reading this

If I ever meet the author I'm buying him a drink . I Loved this book. And I Loved his hunted forest tour as much
31 reviews
June 12, 2022
Always great

Jeff strand never disappoint s. I enjoy anything that he writes. Always entertaining. This was one of the best ones yet.
Profile Image for Shea Chen.
312 reviews1 follower
November 3, 2022
This is the most interesting book I have ever read. Jeff Strand's writing never disappoints!!
Profile Image for Fairul.
161 reviews1 follower
January 26, 2023
Adequately silly. How could it not with gem like this: description
Profile Image for David Swisher.
381 reviews24 followers
October 31, 2024
Jeff Strand at his most Jeff Strandiest. Zany disgusting horrific goofy stories.
Profile Image for David Agranoff.
Author 31 books207 followers
October 20, 2010
I have very mixed feelings about this review. Let me state at the beginning, I think this is a worthwhile short story collection that SHOULD be on the shelves of any library that is serious about having a horror inventory. Do you sense a a big BUT coming? I was not a huge fan of the book myself. That being said I understand clearly that Strand has put together a collection of stories will have appeal to a wide audience weather I like it or not.

Gleefully Macabre Tales features over 30 pieces of Jeff Strand's unique combination of Horror and comedy. This is not unheard of in the horror genre, most authors lighten up their collections with one or two entirely comedic tales. How about a book that is 95% comedic horror?

I should say that I have enjoyed Strand's work before. I liked his Bram Stoker award nominated novel Pressure and I really enjoyed The Haunted Forest Tour (a novel he co-wrote). I thought the idea of me liking this collection was kind of a stretch to begin with, in way that is why I choose it from list of books for review from monster librarian. I generally like very, very dark books. I wanted to see if Strand's style of Horror comedy could crack my black soul.

I can't say this book worked for me, I had two favorite stories that I thought were effective at being great horror fiction and making me laugh. Those stories were “Everything has a Purpose” and the brutal cringe inducing story of testicular horror “Mister Sensitive.” It was while reading the later than I had the biggest belly laugh and also cringed at the pain of the main character.

I enjoyed how short many of the stories were, Strand did a great job of doing many things in a short word count that takes serious skill. If you held me down and forced me to explain what I didn't like I would say two things bothered me. First, Strand often chooses mean spirited narrators for his stories, and after reading a dozen or so of these you begin to feel like your on a greyhound bus trip. After awhile it becomes unpleasant. No matter how dark a book is it is nice to get at least some light from characters you can root for.

Second, I don't find Strand's subject matter to be very creative. I enjoy reading stories when I am impressed by idea behind it being left field and interesting. Many of the ideas seem pedestrian, I don't sit back in my chair and marvel “How did he think of that?” I like to read a book and be astonished that his/her mind created this story and this universe. I really didn't get that from this book.

I think this book should be around for others to decide. Sure it was funny but I almost felt like I could see Strand typing and winking at us “I'm here all week folks.” I think it has a place in any library collection that is interested in having a compete horror collection, Strand is a effective writer and despite my personal criticism for the book I can still see it's appeal.
Profile Image for Monster.
340 reviews27 followers
Read
June 10, 2010
I have very mixed feelings about this book. Let me state at the beginning, I think this is a worthwhile short story collection that should be on the shelves of any library that is serious about having a horror collection. Do you sense a a big BUT coming? I was not a huge fan of the book myself. That being said, I see clearly that Strand has put together a collection of stories will have appeal to a wide audience.
Gleefully Macabre Tales features over 30 pieces of Jeff Strand's unique combination of horror and comedy. Comic horror is not unheard of in the horror genre: most authors lighten up their collections with one or two entirely comedic tales. This book, however, is 95% comedic horror
I should say that I have enjoyed Strand's work before. I liked his Bram Stoker award nominated novel Pressure and I really enjoyed The Haunted Forest Tour (a novel he co-wrote). However, I generally like very, very dark books, so I chose to review this one to see if Strand's style of horror and comedy could crack my black soul. Unfortunately, I can't say this book worked for me.
I had two favorite stories that I thought were effective horror fiction and made me laugh. Those stories were “Everything has a Purpose”, and the brutal, cringe-inducing story of testicular horror, “Mister Sensitive.” It was while reading the latter than I had the biggest belly laugh and also cringed at the pain of the main character.
I liked that many of the stories were short, and Strand did a great job of doing many things in a short word count, which takes serious skill. Yet, there were still things that bothered me. First, Strand often chooses mean-spirited narrators for his stories, and after reading a dozen or so of these you begin to feel like you're on a Greyhound bus trip. After awhile it becomes unpleasant. Second, I don't find Strand's subject matter to be very creative. I enjoy reading stories when I am impressed by the idea behind it being out of left field and interesting. Many of the ideas in these stories seemed pedestrian- I didn't sit back in my chair and marvel “How did he think of that?” I like to read a book and be astonished that that the author's mind created this story and this universe. I really didn't get that from this book.
I think that Gleefully Macabre Tales has a place in any library collection that is interested in having a complete horror collection. Strand is a effective writer, and despite my personal dislike for the book I can still see its appeal to other readers.
Contains: Sex, violence, sadism, drug use.
Review by David Agranoff
Profile Image for Mike Kazmierczak.
379 reviews14 followers
May 19, 2015
At just under 300 pages, you would not think that Strand would be able to include that many short stories in this collection. And you would be wrong. He has an amazing thirty-three stories in the book. Plus story notes at the end on how and why the stories were written. I always love that extra insight. Strand reaches that number of stories by making some of them are extremely short, like under a page. However, the impact and humor in those stories are just as great as some of the other stories. "Common Sense" is a brief two paragraphs but I laughed out loud at the ending. On the other end of the spectrum, I shared that story with a friend and he thought it was dumb. Obviously I need to change my friends. Or stop sharing my perverted sense of humor with them. If you already like Strand or your sense of humor is off, you'll love this book. And if you do, let me know because I might need another friend or two. My favorites are below.

"Really, Really Ferocious" - An awesome way to start the collection! An old man sics his watch dog on a solicitor.

"Sex Potion #147" - A gypsy helps a young woman improve her sex life but not without a difficult lesson to be learned first.

"Everything Has A Purpose" - You will use what you have been taught.

"Glimpses" - One of the more serious stories with little humor. Select scenes of a couple's life.

"I Hold The Stick" - A man enjoys his job of denying others. I also had this happen recently with my two-year-old. Grrr.

"Howard, the Tenth Reindeer" - A fun addition to Santa and his reindeer.

"Disposal" - An attempt to kill a man goes wrong again and again.
Profile Image for Geoff.
509 reviews7 followers
January 3, 2017
This is a rather large collection of short stories by Strand. As usual with strand these stories are for the most part humor horror stories and 100% entertainment. You're not going to find any deep revelations in these stories, but you will be amused.

I think a few stories could have been cut, as there was a couple that I thought were just filler, including the Gross Out stories from necon, and secret message, but mostly the stories were good. The last story, The Bad Candy House was hilarious, and the stories previously released in chapbook form were good (again) like Werewolf Porno and Socially Awkward Moments.

This was an easy read, I flew through the book. If you want some entertainment this book delivers.
53 reviews5 followers
July 6, 2014
It really is gleefully macabre!

Such an eclectic group of stories, I almost feel as if I need to review each one separately! But instead of doing that, I'm just going to give them all what they deserve, an A+ rating. Each one is crazier than the last. I think Jeff Strand may have fallen and bumped his head more than once in this lifetime! Whatever the case may be, he has somehow been inundated with an overabundance of talent when it comes to penning horror/comedy books. A worthwhile purchase.
Profile Image for Shelley.
713 reviews49 followers
August 4, 2010
Started this the other day and finally was able to finish it today. It was a great collection of short stories that covered a lot of topics. Some of them were really nasty and gross and some of them made me laugh. I love short stories because I can sit down with a book and read in spurts and not miss anything. They were perfect to read at work because I could stop when I needed to to actually work. :) Great stories.
Profile Image for Bradley Convissar.
Author 30 books105 followers
January 10, 2011
Good for a quick read while waiting in line at the market or while walking the dog. The stories run the gamut in theme as well as quality. Overall, an interesting read, we'll see about picking up another book, maybe a full novel.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews

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