Nurturing Healing Love: A Mother's Journey of Hope and Forgiveness

by Scarlett Lewis, Natasha Stoynoff (Contributor)

On December 14, 2012, Scarlett Lewis experienced something that no parent should ever have to endure: she lost her son Jesse in an act of unimaginable violence. The day started just like any other, but when a gunman opened fire at Sandy Hook Elementary School, Scarlett’s life changed forever. However, this isn’t a story about a massacre. It’s a story about love and survival. It’s about how to face the impossible, how to find courage when you think you have none, and how to choose love instead of anger, fear, or hatred. Following Jesse’s death, Scarlett went on an unexpected journey, inspired by a simple three-word message he had scrawled on their kitchen chalkboard shortly before he died: Norurting Helin Love (Nurturing Healing Love). It was as if he knew just what his family would need in order to go on after this horrible tragedy. Bolstered by his words, Scarlett took her first step toward a new life. And with each step, it became clearer how true Jesse’s message was. She learned that love was indeed the essential element necessary to move forward and that taking the path of love is a choice. We can live in anger and resentment, or we can choose love and forgiveness. With her decision made, she found some peace and began to believe that choosing love was the key to creating a healthy, safe, and happy world. She began the Jesse Lewis Choose Love Foundation to develop programs to teach children about the power each of us has to change our thoughts and choose a life without fear and hate. Nurturing Healing Love is Scarlett’s story of how choosing love is changing her life—and how it could change our world. A portion of the proceeds from sales of this book will be donated to the Jesse Lewis Choose Love Foundation. To learn more about the foundation or to make a donation, go to www.jesselewischooselove.org.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Spirituality, Biography Memoir, Inspirational, Crime, Book Club

192 pages, Paperback

First published October 28, 2013

About the author

Scarlett Lewis, mother of Jesse Lewis and founder of The Jesse Lewis Choose Love Foundation, graduated from Boston University with a B.S. in Communications in 1990. She began her career at the Greenwich Times Newspaper in Greenwich, CT as an editorial assistant and freelance writer. She then worked at Greenwich Capital Markets in the Municipal Arbitrage department, eventually moving to NW Arkansas and joining Llama Company, an investment banking firm owned by Alice Walton (Walmart) trading bonds and doing investment banking.

Reviews

[Catherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book today, on the 1-year anniversary of the Sandy Hook tragedy, in just a few hours. Being a mom of two boys, I think of these families often, and wonder how these parents even began to cope with what happened to their children. I decided to separate the mom and the reader in me, and just plow through. I admire what Scarlett is doing with her foundation; not allowing her son to have died in vain. The early part is difficult to read, but is not filled with all the gory details. Not everyone can read this, and I respect that. But if you think you can, I recommend it.

[Evikulik · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tak pred casom som sem davala recenziu na knihu od immaculee ilibagiza prezila som a ani by ma nenapadlo, ze podobne myslenie najdem aj v tejto knihe. Dokonca sa Imaculee spomina aj v tejto knihe a sama autorka sa s nou stretla a inspirovala sa nou. Nie som clovek, co cita motivacne knihy a je zatazeny na nejake duchovne veci. Avsak tieto dve knihy su uzasne a mali by patrit k povinnemu citaniu. Ked vidim hlavne aku nevrazivost a nenavist voci inym ludom dokazu v sebe skryvat aj matky, ktorym nebolo nijak ublizene mam za to, ze tuto knihu by si malo precitat co najviac ludi. Immaculee aj Scarlett si prezili peklo a obe v sebe nasli lasku a odpustenie. Scarlett si po Jesseho smrti vybrala cestu, na ktorej sa snazi ucit deti uz na zakladnych skolach o sucite a teda aby si co najviac ludi vybralo lasku namiesto nenavisti a ja hovorim ANO tejto myslienke. Pretoze, tento svet je plny nenavisti a zloby, ktoru treba vyhnat a naucit ludi opat vybrat si LASKU.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was heartwarming and heart wrenching. The story of a mother's loss due to a school shooting--something no one should ever have to face--was hard to read. But her journey to healing and forgiveness was uplifting and gives hope. Hope that we can do more and we can do better as a society to choose to love over hate and anger.

[David Holoman · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars because why not.

Mostly since Columbine, my response to such disasters has been sorrow and sympathy and whatnot from a really safe distance. There was a tragedy, it was bad beyond measure I'm sure, don't know that I really need to know the details.

This book deals with the Sandy Hook shooting (14 Dec 2012, Newtown, CN, 26 elementary school kids/staff + others (and isn't it a shame that I have to clarify which mass shooting is which?)), specifically concerning one victim, Jesse Lewis, his exploits, and the aftermath.

I would never have touched the book except for the fact that my daughter was in the cast of a high-school staging of "26 Pebbles", a play concerning the event, whose organizing premise is that each of the 26 lives are like pebbles that send ripples, hopefully of positive change, through the world. My daughter's character connects with Jesse in the afterlife; she got the book as character research. After I saw the gripping, moving play, I reached for the book.

Jesse's story is remarkable (in a partial nutshell, he saved a bunch of his peers) and will have you questioning what you know for sure. The Mom's response is also remarkable-- she eschews the blame-the-guns motif for something more at the root: choosing compassion over lesser responses.

Do's and Dont's concerning this book:

Don't
Don't read this book in public, like at the airport
Don't read this book before a meeting at work.
Don't read this book without kleenex nearby

Do
Do read it, at home, with kleenex nearby.

[Jenny Orelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wayne Dyer called this book a masterpiece and he hasn't given me bad advice yet. I think I've just had a sign to read it. I see angel numbers far beyond chance to the point I know they're real. There were 333 views for a video in which Wayne introduced Scarlett.333 is the sign of the ascendant masters so between that and people saying they couldn't put it down I think I'll be brave enough to read it... And because Scarlett was brave and giving enough to write it. I'm rating it five stars in advance and will update my review later. With love and blessings, Jenny.

[Linda Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ironically my friend Lisa and I met Scarlett Lewis a few months ago while driving through Newtown, Connecticut. My friend Lisa was looking for animals to photograph when we came across Scarlett who so graciously invited us to meet the animals on her farm. Soon after, I realized she was a Sandy Hook parent.
Nurturing Healing Love is a must read for everyone.
I walked away from meeting Scarlett and from reading her book marveling at what a strong, brave, and resilient woman she is and what an important message she has to share.

[Kiki · Rating 5 out of 5]

I felt it. I felt every word, every sentence, every paragraph, every page, every chapter, right up through the end—when Scarlett thanks her precious little boy for teaching her the greatest lesson of this life: "LOVE NEVER ENDs.
A great book to read.

[What the Fluff · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have never BAWLED while reading a book until now. But I cried a lot reading Nurturing Healing Love.
Rest in peace to Jesse and all the other victims of Sandy Hook, and God bless the families who have had to endure this unimaginable tragedy.

[Elizabeth Joyce · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this book after hearing about the shooting in Texas. I need to sit with my emotions and learn from the families of Sandy Hook. This book truly helped and reminds us that love conquers all.

[Deborah Blanchard · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story is a very emotional read It is one mothers story of love, loss, grief and ultimately, finding, through God's grace, a way to go on. It was difficult for me to read as a parent, but also because I lived just two hours from this tragedy. I remember that day vividly. It is extremely important for people to read this book. Yes, you will need a very large box of tissues. This is a very well written book and you can feel Jesse's spirit on every page. It made me feel like I knew this courageous little boy who gave his life, at the tender age of six, to save others. There are so many phrases in this book that I could quote you, but you really need to read this book yourself in order to fully grasp the beauty and grace of the words. It takes love to overcome hate, nurturing, healing, love. Please, take the time to read this book. There are not enough words to describe how it made me feel. A great book "should" make you feel, whether it be fact or fiction. Unfortunately, for these children and their families, it is fact. It is a story meant to be told and meant for us all to read. It is a wonderful story of the power of love. I could go on and on about this book, but please read this. While it is true and sad, it was also uplifting.PLEASE READ THIS BOOK! Written by the power of a mothers love with help from above. It is not about religion,for those who may think it is, it is about love . Nurturing, healing, love. God Bless and protect our children.

[Moriah Venable · Rating 4 out of 5]

About a month ago, I was watching a Youtube video by LegalEagle. He was explaining the defamation case against Alex Jones and the parents that lost their children in the Sandy Hook Shooting and how he has been spreading lies and how the shooting did not happen and that all it was fake.

During the video, LegalEagle shows some of the courtroom footage. A woman was on the stand. She is one of the people that is suing Alex Jones. One of the lawyers mentioned her book deal. This caught my interest so I went to see about the books she has written.

I went into expecting her to talk about the harassments she has suffered after losing her son, but it didn't touch on that at all.

It mostly focus on her healing and acceptance of losing her son as well as the feelings and journey to get there.

I knew I was going to come into this heartbroken and within the first few chapters I was. I cried and my eyes watering. I can even describe it. When the Foreword, stated that you would feel the emotions while reading this book, they were not lying.

One of my worst fears, is losing a child so I can not imagine losing a child in the way she did. But through she was able to meet so many people, and find people who understood her pain. Even was able to smile and laugh again, through her son Jesse's message and started spreading it to others.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Scarlett is the mother of Jesse Lewis, one of the 6 and 7 year olds killed in the Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting, that took place on December 14, 2012 in Newtown, Connecticut.

Nurturing Healing Love is a phrase Jesse wrote on a chalk board in his home a few days before his death, and a message that helped inspire the Jesse Lewis Choose Love Foundation. The foundation encourages school children and adults to be kind, compassionate, and teaches that forgiveness and love are a choice.

I believe Scarlett Lewis is doing amazing work in the world and feel honored to be able to read her story, get to know Jesse, and be inspired by the grace and courage with which she and her older son J.T. are living their lives in the wake of Jesse's death.

The Newtown massacre was a day I will never forget. My youngest daughter was the same age as most of the children killed, and I was profoundly grieved at the violent loss of these beautiful children. My mama heart will forever go out to the parents of the victims. This book is a gift.

[Courtney · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the honor of meeting Scarlett at a Compassion workshop in Seattle last year and finally got a chance to read her book. It's a moving, personal story about the loss of her youngest son Jesse, a victim in the Sandy Hook tragedy. The whole book is a story of her journey as a mother but the bigger picture is how she comes to realize Jesse's death did have a purpose which was to spread a message of love through the world. It made me a believer and an admirer of this incredible woman and her sons.

[Jeffrey Lyons · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a fascinating account of how a mother's horrible tragedy is being used as a springboard to promote a positive message.

It was a very easy book to read with some lovely memories about one of the victims of the 2012 Sandy Hook shooting. Jesse lived only a few years but his uplifting influence is being felt today.

My organization will be implementing the Choose Love curriculum in the weeks ahead and I am one of the facilitators.

[Jackie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whether you are a parent who has lost a child or not (I have) this is a remarkable book about an amazing brave young boy who was a victim of the Sandy Hook shooting but who's life is being honored and carried on by his loving mother and family. Scarlett Lewis teaches us about what it is to forgive and life lessons in hope.

[Ľubomíra]

Neviem, čo napísať. Prečítajte si ju!

[Adri266 · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fhu...tato tema, prestrelky v skolach, je hrozna 😔 Nepochopim ludi, ktori len tak vezmu zbran a idu do skoly, do parku, na ulicu, do kostola a strielaju hlava nehlava, ci odpalia bombu. Co ich k tom vedie? Co citia, ked to robia, ked to pripravuju?

😢😢😢

Nechcela by som byt v kozi toho rodica. Neviem si predstavit, ze dieta poslete do skoly ako kazdy den, a mozno ho ani nestihnete pobozkat a potom pride hrozna sprava 😖 Najhorsia, aku si v zivote viete predstavit.

Toto je pribeh matky jedneho zo ziakov, ktory bol zastreleny pocas najhorsej prestrelky v dejinach USA. Jesse mal iba 6 rokov a ani v takej chvili, ked mu pozeral do oci vrah, nestratil odvahu a krical na ostatne deti, aby utekali. Niekolkych tak zachranil, no zial, on sam svoj zivot stratil.

Jeho mama opisuje, ako sa s tym zmierila. Pomohlo jej to, ze si myslela z roznych znameni, ze jej Jesse bol predurceny na to, co sa stalo, ze tusil, ze nieco take sa stane a ze jeho dusa bola s nimi aj po jeho smrti. Toto mozno nie kazdy uveri.

Ale co je uzasne, ze s pomocou ludi okolo nej zacala projekt, kde sa v skole vyucuje empatia ako taka. Premenit zlo na dobro. Zvolit si lasku ❤

Aj ked ich pribeh je hrozny a uzasny naraz, knihu ako taku hodnotim na 3*.

[Chanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having recently been introduced to the school program that is Choose Love, I decided to read Scarlett Lewis’s book. She is the inspiring mother of Jesse Lewis, a murdered 6 year old school shooting victim. Her mission is to build a more compassionate community. My interest was piqued when she spoke to my staff recently about turning angry thoughts in happy ones. She says that we can only think one thought at a time, so replace negative and repetitive thoughts with thoughts of gratitude.
She believes as I do that we miss the target when we talk about gun control, substance abuse, anti bullying. Her message is to focus on the root cause of the suffering that leads to those issues.

When you help and heal others, you help and heal yourself.
Aaron Stark

[Vanessa Carter · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the spirit of back to school, this book was the perfect testament. I thought it was going to be heavy on the education curriculum, and to my surprise, it is in fact the most spiritual book I’ve read this year (ever?) as an avid reader in that genre. Life affirming. I left each reading session uplifted despite the heavy nature of the story. I think Scarlett Lewis would be pleased to hear that, for she knew that’s what this could be. I gained perspective about therapeutic work, reinforced my beliefs about signs, intuition, and unconscious knowings, as well as strengthened my confidence in the gifts children can harness. Choosing love.

[Stephanie Daige · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love never ends. Keep spreading the message. Choose love and kindness. A message from Scarlett and Jesse Lewis. ❤️

This was one of those reads where I had to take lots of breaks and catch my breath. Not easy. It’s one of those events where you’ll forever remember where you were and what you were doing when it happened. Scarlett was a keynote speaker at a middle school conference I went to last year, and her presence is very contagious. I imagine a lot like her son. Thinking of the victims often. 🙏🏼

[Marry Hasipi Hasipi Murínová · Rating 3 out of 5]

Príbeh matky, ktorej umrel syn. Táto žena sa snaží vyrovnať s jeho smrťou hľadaním čo i len nepatrného dôkazu, že je ako anjel okolo nej. Všetko berie ako odkaz od neho pre ňu. Každý sa so smútkom vyrovnávame po svojom a ja verím, že jej tieto momenty, tak ako i napísanie knihy pomáha na ceste za uzdravením duše.

[Susan H · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing story of strength and healing through such a horrific tragedy. Scarlett, TJ, and Jesse are all heroes. Jesse the brave 6 year old that helped his classmates during the Newtown, CT shooting, Scarlett and TJ , Jesse’s mom and brother who show us how to forgive, and to Choose Love. A truly powerful story.

[Judy Vartelas · Rating 5 out of 5]

do not hesitate to buy and read this book!
it is life-changing !!!
what was an unbelievable tragedy that happened to Scarlett Lewis she turned it into post-traumatic growth and developed to choose love campaign !
I guarantee your life won’t be the same until you read it !
always and forever choose love !!!

[Kkop12 · Rating 3 out of 5]

So how can you say you like a book like this, when it's about a tragedy for a 6 year old boy and his family. But I liked getting to know the author and learning more about her sons. I was also interested by her non profit that she created and the message she wants people to hear.

[Luke Fierro · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book was very sad and full of emotions but I feel like it was a little slow and it, at times, didn’t have much to say. I was really hoping that we would get more information about her son but that was not the case.

[Sydney · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very heartwarming story based on such a tragedy. Im pretty sure I cried through the first half of the book. But it leaves you feeling warm inside and more appreciative for ypur loved ones and those around you.

[Leslie Jonsson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heartfelt account of the aftermath of the Sandy Hook shooting in 2012 from a parent who suffered the most devastating loss-her son.

[Kristine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Heartbreakingly beautiful. Ms Lewis shows us how to live with sorrow beyond belief.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Emotional read! Inspiring words of love from such a horrendous tragedy!

[Sandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely beautiful book! Couldn’t put it down.