1.) Initially (whether that is when you got the book assigned to you or within the first few pages) what was your response to the book? What were your anticipations? Were you excited? Did you see this as a challenge? Explain.
Lauren made a special exception for me because I was originally assigned Accursed (one that weighed in at 688 pages and was one of the longest books on the whole reading list, fist bump to Liz F., Kristin, and Victoria) for the week after my wedding. So when she pulled magic editorial skillz and switched my book to The Antelope in the Living Room: The Real Story of Two People Sharing One Life at the end of the summer, I was beyond thrilled. A book on marriage the summer I’m getting married? A solid two months after the wedding hoopla so I can enjoy the book and focus on writing a good review? YAY!
Also, I knew nothing about the book and kind of wanted to keep it that way. I asked for it in a couple bookstores we ducked into on our honeymoon (neither had it but I ordered it from the second one because I do love a little local bookstore) and once the book arrive on my doorstep, I felt like the process of reading/reviewing this book was this exciting little package waiting for me. I even held off reading it a couple times, savoring the anticipation. (Which, in retrospect, maybe was put it on a bit of a pedestal, but I didn’t know that at the time.)
2.) Please give a brief synopsis without giving away anything.
This is a story about marriage. Lots and lots of stories about one particular marriage, the one the author shares with her husband. It’s purportedly about everyday instances that are easily recognizable in our lives and the author offers bits of advice that are supposed to be transferable to every marriage. The author does a good job of sticking to her material – this is about marriage and even though she mentions her daughter in passing, she really sticks to talking about her relationship with her husband and her experience as a married woman. (I found out after some light Googling (before I got to the reference on page 118) that this is probably because she has already written another book about her relationship with her daughter.) The book is chronological-ish and is told as if the author was telling you this funny story that happened to her the other day over lunch. The writing felt less like a memoir or a book and more like reading a bunch of blog posts back to back (which, after aforementioned light Googling seems likely as the author is a successful longtime blogger and surely adapted this book from her posts).
3.) Did you see any recurring themes? Anything that nagged at you? Anything that sucked you in and wouldn't let you go?
There is something extremely formulaic about this book. For one thing, it’s chock full of gender stereotypes and truisms about the way men and women just ARE with a little wink and a nudge as if we all agree with the ideal of the “perfect wife” and should laugh at all the ways she “falls short.” Some examples: She got seasick on a deep sea fishing trip with her husband on their honeymoon and the take away point is that she wasn’t the fresh beautiful bride she thought she’d be and wasn’t her husband just the best for not divorcing her right there on the spot? There’s a whole segment on how she “makes her husband do his own laundry” and didn’t she just dodge the bullet on that one? She pretty much says right there at the beginning that she married this guy she didn’t really know all that well for the shiny wedding presents. Yes, I understand that she’s joking, but that kind of talk is pretty dangerous for people who may not understand that’s a joke.
The other recurring gambit in the book was the constant switching from at times very funny/flippant stories about her life to all the sudden very serious direct quotes from the Bible mandating how we should navigate marriage. It sort of made my head spin to go from the cutesy trite “men are from Mars, women are from Venus” type stories to Bible quotes that can be proven by the anecdote in question. She has a very strong voice and some of the lines are really very funny, but mostly I just feel like she’s trying way too hard for reasons I don’t agree with.
The author is so self-depreciating it hurts. I bet she’s a nice person. I might even like to hang out with her. But the underlying message in this book was too close to “silly me, I’ll never be the ideal wife, thank goodness my husband puts up with my antics” for doing things that seemed totally reasonable to me (i.e. enjoying her own hobbies, splitting household labor in a way that works for both of them, vomiting while at sea). So if I ever met the author, I’d want to give her a pep talk that she’s not failing at being a human by not living up to the ridiculous standards of a traditional wife as set out by a Bible-focused culture. Really, she’s doing just fine.
4.) Whether or not you enjoyed the book, do you think the writer succeeded in telling the story? Were you left wondering anything? Any holes?
The author would probably say that God brought this book into my life because I needed to hear these stories. Her voice and perspective definitely got in my head and, again, some of her stories are pretty funny. I was not left wondering about a single thing because I feel like she filled us in about all the minutia of her marriage (while simultaneously relating it back to the Bible as an added bonus).
I will say that I think this book might feel dated extremely fast. There are a bunch of pop-culture references to things that are very hot right now and some of them are already starting to feel out of date.
5.) Did anything about the book surprise you?
Sure – that it wasn’t the perfect book about marriage for me, despite my high hopes. Go figure. Some of that was definitely my fault for building it up a little too much. I do think there are some good lines in here and some funny short stories for light reading, but I love me a narrative, an epic tale, a struggle. And this is not that. This is mostly pretty predictable lines that roughly say, “I did this thing and then he said that and aren’t we so cute?” Ugh. I was ready to shelve it by page 7 as I could tell this was just not my cup of tea. (I didn’t quit because I really like this blog and I really like books and I’m psyched to be doing a review but… I figuratively felt like I needed to take a shower after I read this book to get all the cute off.)
6.) Finally, did you enjoy it? Would you recommend it? Who should read this book? If you were disappointed or didn't enjoy it, tell us why.
As I have been none-too-subtle about during this review, I found the book trite, stereotypical, and cutesy. This was just not my kind of book. I want to give this woman a hug and tell her she doesn’t have to be the butt of every joke, no one can live up to the standards she’s set out for “wife.” Although there are some funny lines and stories for extremely light reading, overall, I’d say, skip it.
A couple other notes from my phone:
As a feminist long time reader of A Practical Wedding, and especially Reclaiming Wife, I found her full embrace of the traditional terms to be pretty off-putting. It read like a blog in many sections and not one that I would follow regularly.
I will refer you to Catlin Moran… "What do you think feminism IS ladies?"