What do you think?
Rate this book
Compassion without Compromise: How the Gospel Frees Us to Love Our Gay Friends Without Losing the Truth
Loving, Biblical Answers on Homosexuality
In the next year at least one of these things will happen in your
• A family member will come out of the closet and expect you to be okay with it.
• Your elementary-age child's curriculum will discuss LGBT families.
• Your company will talk about building a tolerant workplace for LGBT co-workers.
• Your college-age child will tell you your view on homosexuality is bigoted.
Are you ready?
In their role as pastors, Adam Barr and Ron Citlau have seen how this issue can tear apart families, friendships, and even churches. In this book they combine biblical answers with practical, real-world advice on how to think about and discuss this issue with those you care about. They also tell the story of Ron's personal journey from same-sex attraction and sexual brokenness to healing.
Truth does not preclude kindness--and a good dose of humility is necessary to love our neighbors. With sensitivity and winsomeness, this book will offer an honest but inviting message to We are all in need of the healing that can only come from the truth of the gospel.
In the next year at least one of these things will happen in your
• A family member will come out of the closet and expect you to be okay with it.
• Your elementary-age child's curriculum will discuss LGBT families.
• Your company will talk about building a tolerant workplace for LGBT co-workers.
• Your college-age child will tell you your view on homosexuality is bigoted.
Are you ready?
In their role as pastors, Adam Barr and Ron Citlau have seen how this issue can tear apart families, friendships, and even churches. In this book they combine biblical answers with practical, real-world advice on how to think about and discuss this issue with those you care about. They also tell the story of Ron's personal journey from same-sex attraction and sexual brokenness to healing.
Truth does not preclude kindness--and a good dose of humility is necessary to love our neighbors. With sensitivity and winsomeness, this book will offer an honest but inviting message to We are all in need of the healing that can only come from the truth of the gospel.
160 pages, Paperback
First published October 14, 2014
45 people are currently reading
491 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews
October 22, 2014
This is a wonderfully pastoral, thoughtful and biblical treatment of one of the pressing issues of our day. The authors pave a way for Christians to be proactively wise, gracious, loving and winsome while holding firm to the Lord Jesus and His promise of redemption to all and for all who cling to Him. We must have a path as we face, more and more, the pressure from our culture to compromise what God says regarding homosexuality. But we must also have a path to love those who are in the midst of homosexual relationships, seeking to make sense of desires, or navigating, personally, how best to graciously engage with friends and family members involved with or in same-sex relationships. Buy this book and you will get this and so much more. Read it.
May 24, 2022
Very good. Definitely recommend.
February 16, 2021
This work is a solid, Biblical read with good insight, a firm grasp of truth, and valuable advice for Believers in our current day. It's a short overview and as such cannot dive too deeply into the topics it brings up but certainly gives a good overview!
October 27, 2014
This book does an excellent job of explaining a biblical understanding of homosexuality. It addresses common objections with grace and wisdom. The authors bring humility and understanding, since one used to live a homosexual lifestyle, and the other has counseled many.
The book gives good advice on how to approach homosexuals with love and courage.
The book has a Q&A format at certain points in which it addresses many specific examples of how to approach homosexuality in a Christian setting.
After answering many questions, the book lists over thirty more questions, and points the reader to the website www.CompassionWithoutCompromise.com for "written and video responses to some of the other questions." Unfortunately, when I went to the web site, I did not find any answers to these other questions, video or written. There are some video summaries on each chapter, but nothing addressing the specific questions that were listed but unanswered in the book. For this reason I dropped my rating by a point. Why even put that promise and the additional questions into the book, if you are not going to put that on the web site?
The book gives good advice on how to approach homosexuals with love and courage.
The book has a Q&A format at certain points in which it addresses many specific examples of how to approach homosexuality in a Christian setting.
After answering many questions, the book lists over thirty more questions, and points the reader to the website www.CompassionWithoutCompromise.com for "written and video responses to some of the other questions." Unfortunately, when I went to the web site, I did not find any answers to these other questions, video or written. There are some video summaries on each chapter, but nothing addressing the specific questions that were listed but unanswered in the book. For this reason I dropped my rating by a point. Why even put that promise and the additional questions into the book, if you are not going to put that on the web site?
June 2, 2018
This book provides Biblical council for Christians struggling with how to stand for truth in the current cultural climate, while also reaching out, in love, to the lost. One of the noteworthy aspects of this book is the story of author Ron Citlau’s redemption from a homosexual lifestyle. He provides unique understanding into the struggles homosexual believers face. He is also an incredible encouragement of how God's redemptive power. I recommend this book for every believer who has struggled with how to Biblically love members of the LGBTQ+ community.
I love that the authors point out “the goal of the gospel’s transformation is not healthy heterosexuality. It is total identification with Christ. This is what the gospel can do for a person’s identity (105).
It is a reminder that the good news of the Gospel is the only hope for the sexual brokenness we see in the world. It “ . . . provides the way forward in a culture very confused on the issue of sexual intimacy. Our sexual sin – whether homosexual or heterosexual in nature – leads us out of the garden of God’s blessing and into a wasteland. The gospel provides a way back” (115).
I love that the authors point out “the goal of the gospel’s transformation is not healthy heterosexuality. It is total identification with Christ. This is what the gospel can do for a person’s identity (105).
It is a reminder that the good news of the Gospel is the only hope for the sexual brokenness we see in the world. It “ . . . provides the way forward in a culture very confused on the issue of sexual intimacy. Our sexual sin – whether homosexual or heterosexual in nature – leads us out of the garden of God’s blessing and into a wasteland. The gospel provides a way back” (115).
June 4, 2015
It is a topic that has generated more friction and fire than hope and help. Foundations, families and fellowships are starting to experience the tension from within and without, which is resulting in either a wide-eyed panic or a willful lenience. Nevertheless it is a subject that needs to be fearlessly, but sympathetically, looked into. Adam Barr, senior pastor at Peace Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and Ron Citlau, pastor of Calvary Church in Orland Park, Illinois, have provided churches and families a readable and reachable resource that is personal, courageous and considerate. “Compassion without Compromise: How the Gospel Frees Us to Love Our Gay Friends Without Losing the Truth,” is a 160 page paperback written for parents, pastors, and parishioners to strengthen the faithful, and steady the faltering. It is grounded on the gospel of Jesus Christ, not the culture wars; and it is shaped by the gracious love of God, not political expediencies.
“Compassion without Compromise” tackles more than just homosexuality, recognizing that when you point one finger at others, there are three more pointing back at you. Barr and Citlau look into the biblical beauty of human sexuality that is formed by God and his designs. The authors rightly acknowledge that in “an amazing, creaturely way, the husband-wife one-flesh union reflects the light of God’s eternal community, the Trinity” (28). If this is the design, then going outside of it to find fulfillment is to turn the beauty into brokenness. Part of our problem, as Christians, is that there are many who claim to follow Jesus who are spoiling the splendor of God’s design for sexuality, some who “are jumping feetfirst into the “hookup culture” so prevalent in our society” (31), and many who are using the “cover of grace as an excuse for immorality” (36). This brings the authors to not only encourage Christians to return to God’s design, but to approach other sexual-sinners with humility, which may be what “our standing for truth needs” because none of us “lives up to the standards our faith demands.” If we do so, then, maybe “this posture of humility will gain the gospel a fresh hearing” (35).
The bulk of “Compassion without Compromise” works its way through what God says about homosexuality and how it damages people. The authors further show, in very clear ways, that there is true hope for homosexuals and all sexual-sinners. Also Barr and Citlau spend some time explaining ways that churches and Christians should approach their gay neighbors, co-workers and family members, to help guide readers in what we should do; “when push comes to shove, how will we live in the new normal? ( . . . ) how can we really embody compassion without compromise” (116)?
Woven throughout every area of this book runs personal experience which adds muscle to much that is said. Citlau’s own struggles with same-sex attractions where his “life spiraled out of control—marked by teen drug use and promiscuous same-sex behavior” through much of his tens year and early twenties (15) cycles into many of the topics covered. The book is written out of real familiarities, not from on high or from afar.
“Compassion with Compromise” maintains a good balance of being candid and caring. Leaders of congregations, church members, parachurch outfits, and Christian school administrations will find this a valuable resource as they think about the present and the future. But also parents whose children have “come out” and people with gay friends should pick up a copy as a guide for thinking through what is happening and how they can be both compassionate without compromising. I seriously recommend the book.
“Compassion without Compromise” tackles more than just homosexuality, recognizing that when you point one finger at others, there are three more pointing back at you. Barr and Citlau look into the biblical beauty of human sexuality that is formed by God and his designs. The authors rightly acknowledge that in “an amazing, creaturely way, the husband-wife one-flesh union reflects the light of God’s eternal community, the Trinity” (28). If this is the design, then going outside of it to find fulfillment is to turn the beauty into brokenness. Part of our problem, as Christians, is that there are many who claim to follow Jesus who are spoiling the splendor of God’s design for sexuality, some who “are jumping feetfirst into the “hookup culture” so prevalent in our society” (31), and many who are using the “cover of grace as an excuse for immorality” (36). This brings the authors to not only encourage Christians to return to God’s design, but to approach other sexual-sinners with humility, which may be what “our standing for truth needs” because none of us “lives up to the standards our faith demands.” If we do so, then, maybe “this posture of humility will gain the gospel a fresh hearing” (35).
The bulk of “Compassion without Compromise” works its way through what God says about homosexuality and how it damages people. The authors further show, in very clear ways, that there is true hope for homosexuals and all sexual-sinners. Also Barr and Citlau spend some time explaining ways that churches and Christians should approach their gay neighbors, co-workers and family members, to help guide readers in what we should do; “when push comes to shove, how will we live in the new normal? ( . . . ) how can we really embody compassion without compromise” (116)?
Woven throughout every area of this book runs personal experience which adds muscle to much that is said. Citlau’s own struggles with same-sex attractions where his “life spiraled out of control—marked by teen drug use and promiscuous same-sex behavior” through much of his tens year and early twenties (15) cycles into many of the topics covered. The book is written out of real familiarities, not from on high or from afar.
“Compassion with Compromise” maintains a good balance of being candid and caring. Leaders of congregations, church members, parachurch outfits, and Christian school administrations will find this a valuable resource as they think about the present and the future. But also parents whose children have “come out” and people with gay friends should pick up a copy as a guide for thinking through what is happening and how they can be both compassionate without compromising. I seriously recommend the book.
July 16, 2016
Occasionally a book comes along that everyone should read. This is one such book. You'd have to be totally asleep to not see the militaristic and bullying-like tactics of those who want to further the gay agenda with the end result of silencing anyone who dares disagree.
And yet for every gay person marching in a gay parade and trying to force his views on anyone who dares disagree, there are people in our churches and families quietly struggling with the issue. And those who may be out, yet are not confrontational about it and we may work with or live beside, or even have in our family.
How does one stand against the gay bullies, stand against the push for this lifestyle to be taught in schools, to fight for religious freedoms that seem to get bulldozed in the name of gay rights, while still loving those who struggle with same-sex attractions and/or fully embrace them? How does one show compassion without compromising and going against God and His Word?
This isn't a long book, coming in at only 158 pages, but the authors do a great job of covering the issue and providing some great answers. They address and answer several questions throughout the book from people from things like if you should attend a gay wedding, what to do if your child tells you they are gay, etc.
They also cover why we can't cave into the idea that God is OK with homosexuality. They use Scripture to back up their points, and answer some common arguments used by those who are trying to revise what the Bible says about the issue.
Christians need to be ready to deal with things they will face in regards to this issue, and they need to understand it better and how to love and relate to those who are dealing with it. This book will help in those areas. I highly recommend it.
There is a website with more about the book and authors, including a downloadable study guide for the book at CompassionWithoutCompromise.com
And yet for every gay person marching in a gay parade and trying to force his views on anyone who dares disagree, there are people in our churches and families quietly struggling with the issue. And those who may be out, yet are not confrontational about it and we may work with or live beside, or even have in our family.
How does one stand against the gay bullies, stand against the push for this lifestyle to be taught in schools, to fight for religious freedoms that seem to get bulldozed in the name of gay rights, while still loving those who struggle with same-sex attractions and/or fully embrace them? How does one show compassion without compromising and going against God and His Word?
This isn't a long book, coming in at only 158 pages, but the authors do a great job of covering the issue and providing some great answers. They address and answer several questions throughout the book from people from things like if you should attend a gay wedding, what to do if your child tells you they are gay, etc.
They also cover why we can't cave into the idea that God is OK with homosexuality. They use Scripture to back up their points, and answer some common arguments used by those who are trying to revise what the Bible says about the issue.
Christians need to be ready to deal with things they will face in regards to this issue, and they need to understand it better and how to love and relate to those who are dealing with it. This book will help in those areas. I highly recommend it.
There is a website with more about the book and authors, including a downloadable study guide for the book at CompassionWithoutCompromise.com
September 2, 2015
I began with great hope and became disenchanted during chapter 3 in particular. While I happen to agree that the Bible never speaks affirmatively about homosexuality, I think the authors make overly broad assertions here while also condescending.
The real help I found in the book (and the reason for a more positive rating) comes after the second half as the authors try to address real questions people are asking. This is a helpful discussion at present, regardless whether the reader agrees with the authors' answers.
Concluding chapters make more strong assertions. Anyone who speaks in favor of homosexuality is deemed a false teacher. A rather bleak and stark picture of persecution is painted in the closing chapter.
Some will find needed help in the third section. Others will need a more indepth treatment of the topic. Likely, many will be lost in the sweeping assertions.
The real help I found in the book (and the reason for a more positive rating) comes after the second half as the authors try to address real questions people are asking. This is a helpful discussion at present, regardless whether the reader agrees with the authors' answers.
Concluding chapters make more strong assertions. Anyone who speaks in favor of homosexuality is deemed a false teacher. A rather bleak and stark picture of persecution is painted in the closing chapter.
Some will find needed help in the third section. Others will need a more indepth treatment of the topic. Likely, many will be lost in the sweeping assertions.
February 24, 2015
This book is currently the. #1 selling Gay and Lesbian book on one of the major online booksellers. All I can say to that is YES!! It appears that people of the church are awakening to the great need that is present in its shadow.
If you want a book that says "love all and their stuff," this isn't for you. These guys talk about TRUE love, not Pollyanna fare. One comes from a life of homosexual activity. The love of the church showed him the path to Jesus. He wants that for all others. He expects the church to help.
The book gives no revelations to many, but nutshell guidance for those of us who have loved ones who have come out and for those who just care about those who have. HIGHLY recommended!
If you want a book that says "love all and their stuff," this isn't for you. These guys talk about TRUE love, not Pollyanna fare. One comes from a life of homosexual activity. The love of the church showed him the path to Jesus. He wants that for all others. He expects the church to help.
The book gives no revelations to many, but nutshell guidance for those of us who have loved ones who have come out and for those who just care about those who have. HIGHLY recommended!
October 26, 2014
Written on a much more popular level than other books on this topic that I have read. Could be used as a good book for introducing this topic to youth groups, etc. (Not saying that it is juvenile, just has that "easy to read" flow).
April 20, 2015
Well written, grace filled book on how Christians should respond to the "hot button" issue of our culture.
May 14, 2015
Not very convincing
Just repeats itself. Doesn't acknowledge that real lovers of Jesus actually disagree on these matters but instead condemns anyone who disagrees with them.
Just repeats itself. Doesn't acknowledge that real lovers of Jesus actually disagree on these matters but instead condemns anyone who disagrees with them.
July 20, 2019
This book is a great resource for Christians who have genuine love and compassion for people who experience same sex attraction (and all others; this struggle is simply singled out as it is pertinent to the topic of this book) and also hold to a Biblical definition of sex and marriage. Written from the perspective of two pastors- one who previously lived a gay lifestyle and another who has counseled and ministered to many people with same sex attraction- it does a good job of being both grace-filled and truthful. God's guidelines for sex & marriage as presented in the Bible are laid out solidly and clearly, with compassion to all who find themselves struggling in these areas. One of the most helpful premises in the book is how our sexuality is not our identity. In a culture that throws around labels and identities like Mardi Gras beads, it is helpful as Christians to remember that our Biblical identity is that of a child of God. Everything else is what we do, feel, think, etc, but no WHO WE ARE. Once feelings and desires are brought down to their appropriate level and put in proper perspective (God's), it is much easier for us to surrender them to the will of God. This is a lesson for ALL of us, regardless of what feelings/emotions/sins we struggle with. The authors also do a great job of suggesting different ways to handle a variety of situations in which we find our convictions and compassion conflicting, always based on the individual relationships. While it likely won't answer every question you have or give you definitive answers on how to handle it (they believe each situation should be directed by the Holy Spirit, and I agree), it is a great resource and definitely worth reading.
January 10, 2021
There is helpful information here. But I felt it fell short in a couple ways. First, though in general it talked about scripture issues used to minimize or deflect the meaning of verses which appear to oppose homosexual practice, there were several exegetical concerns which were never pushed into. This makes it feel incomplete.
Second, I don't quite get how they land the plane at advising against attending same sex weddings, on the grounds that people in Scripture who are sinning do not have redemption. I don't see that. I see patriarchs and kingd never divorce their multiple wives and return to the "one man one woman" model of Genesis. What is happening there? Abraham and David are the two most obvious examples as they are both identified in the NT as having received grace and redemption. By extension, if a gay couple comes to Christ is it necessary they divorce? It seems that another question must be asked: what is the most loving thing to do? Tearing apart a family, destroying long reinforced support structures, are these really the way God would have? Because the patriarchs didn't do that. There are still more questions to be asked and wrestled through.
Having said that, I found the thoughts of the book to be mostly helpful especially considering how many Christians I know who err more to the truth and less to the love, to the detriment of the message of humility, love and compassion they is central to the Gospel.
Second, I don't quite get how they land the plane at advising against attending same sex weddings, on the grounds that people in Scripture who are sinning do not have redemption. I don't see that. I see patriarchs and kingd never divorce their multiple wives and return to the "one man one woman" model of Genesis. What is happening there? Abraham and David are the two most obvious examples as they are both identified in the NT as having received grace and redemption. By extension, if a gay couple comes to Christ is it necessary they divorce? It seems that another question must be asked: what is the most loving thing to do? Tearing apart a family, destroying long reinforced support structures, are these really the way God would have? Because the patriarchs didn't do that. There are still more questions to be asked and wrestled through.
Having said that, I found the thoughts of the book to be mostly helpful especially considering how many Christians I know who err more to the truth and less to the love, to the detriment of the message of humility, love and compassion they is central to the Gospel.
February 7, 2023
I enjoyed this book. It provides a lot of practical tidbits for living with grace and truth in our increasingly divisive world. I was torn between a 3 or 4 star simply because the conversation surrounding homosexuality has developed so much since the book was published in 2014. I believe more could be said if it was updated. Still, it provides a great launching point for anyone curious about the Bible’s teaching on sexual ethics.
April 3, 2024
This was an okay read. Definitely provided some additional context and scripture backed explanations that I wasn’t aware of prior to reading the book. I felt at times the verbiage was a bit harsh but that could just be me… on another end I really appreciated the real like question and scenarios and the discussion topics available to really digest what was read. The last chapter threw me for a loop and felt like it went over my head a bit but overall I thought it was an okay read.
August 14, 2017
Such a great book to give real biblical insight on this topic. One of the two authors came out of a lifestyle of homosexuality and is very informative on his radical transformation and restoration. I wish I had read this sooner...my understanding of this highly relevant issue has grown, and I feel more prepared to defend my stance on this topic, while still showing love to the gay community.
September 9, 2017
Solid explanations, excellent applications
This book provides an unflinching, hopeful, and above all Biblical perspective on homosexuality. But where it really shines is in the practical application sections. The authors show readers exactly what it might look like to speak the truth in love in today's brave new world.
This book provides an unflinching, hopeful, and above all Biblical perspective on homosexuality. But where it really shines is in the practical application sections. The authors show readers exactly what it might look like to speak the truth in love in today's brave new world.
May 25, 2019
WOW!!! Learning how to love those that are struggling, no matter what the sin, without compromising what the Bible has to say about sin - that is what this book teaches you to do. It isn't easy, but it is good.
September 12, 2019
The title sums it up. Biblically sound instruction on how to lovingly engage with our gay friends. I appreciated the perspective of one of the co-authors who has himself struggled with homosexual desire.
June 7, 2025
Helpful and informative. Easy to read and stay engaged with the content. Good practical advice on how to be kind and compassionate with the LGBTQ+ community without compromising on what we know the Bible says is true.
June 3, 2019
Thoughtful, insightful and encouraging.
March 8, 2023
So we’ll written and applicable. Loved the emphasis on God’s grace and every Christian’s need to have a humble heart and trust God’s authority in scripture.
December 30, 2016
Want to read again and take notes.
January 19, 2016
Unless you have had your head in the sand for past few decades, you know that our culture is engaged in a great debate about sexual identity and ethics. This has caused tremendous issues for the church as it seeks to stand on biblical truth but at the same time engaging the culture for the sake of the gospel. Sadly, sometimes, Christians and churches can go to extremes in their stance on the sexual discussion in our culture, specifically as it relates to homosexuality. The first extreme is a hardline stance towards homosexuality. People holding this stance tend to be “bible bashers” who wield the Bible as a sword of destruction on the homosexual agenda. In the process many people are hurt by the church and hold a negative view towards Christians. The second extreme is a softer stance towards homosexuality. People holding this stance are “open and affirming” who oftentimes disregard the biblical stance on sexual ethics.
Many in the church simply hope that the issue can be resolved with legislation and having the right politicians in office. Some are “dooms-dayers” who think, like Chicken Little, that the sky is falling and the end is near. But the fact is this issue is not going away, nor is legislation and politics the answer. So, this leaves many Christians wondering “What does the Bible say about homosexuality?” and “How can we hold a biblical stance on this issue while engaging the culture with the truth of the gospel?” This is exactly what Adam Barr and Ron Citlau discuss in their new book Compassion Without Compromise: How the Gospel Frees Us to Love Our Gay Friends Without Losing the Truth published by Bethany House.
Both of these pastors have real credibility on this issue, especially Ron, who struggled with homosexuality before he came to Christ. His story is a wonderful testimony to the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ to save anyone who is far from God. In the book they unapologetically stand on the biblical ethic of sexuality inside the bonds of marriage between one man and one woman for life. They also do an excellent job of diagnosing the heart of the issue, which is sin, but also describe the remedy which is Jesus. “The hope for the sexual sinner is not a psychological breakthrough or great cognitive behavioral therapy, or even Christian practices. The great hope for the sexual sinner, what will begin to set things right, is to catch a glimpse of Jesus.” Jesus is the answer for all of our sinful struggles whether they be sexual or otherwise.
The truth is “all have sinned and fallen short of the God’s glory” (Romans 3:23). Yet, Jesus met us at our lowest point and showed us his grace as a free gift. How often we forget that truth! It is so easy to judge people in their sin and forget the ugliness of our own sin that Jesus paid for. Jesus is the only remedy for the human condition! I truly believe that the way the culture will view the church in the future will be greatly influenced by the posture that the church has towards the homosexual issue. If the church has a “holier than thou” attitude that it has had in the past, the culture will continue to ignore the church and we will have no influence. However, if the church holds a posture of humility as sinners saved by grace, we can earn a hearing with our culture for the sake of the gospel.
I highly recommend Compassion Without Compromise for any pastor, small group leader, and disciple maker that is serious about making a dent in our culture for the sake of the gospel! In the days ahead every believer will be asked to pick a stance on this issue. Don’t bury your head in the sand! Get prepared, this book is a great resource that will point you in the right direction.
Many in the church simply hope that the issue can be resolved with legislation and having the right politicians in office. Some are “dooms-dayers” who think, like Chicken Little, that the sky is falling and the end is near. But the fact is this issue is not going away, nor is legislation and politics the answer. So, this leaves many Christians wondering “What does the Bible say about homosexuality?” and “How can we hold a biblical stance on this issue while engaging the culture with the truth of the gospel?” This is exactly what Adam Barr and Ron Citlau discuss in their new book Compassion Without Compromise: How the Gospel Frees Us to Love Our Gay Friends Without Losing the Truth published by Bethany House.
Both of these pastors have real credibility on this issue, especially Ron, who struggled with homosexuality before he came to Christ. His story is a wonderful testimony to the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ to save anyone who is far from God. In the book they unapologetically stand on the biblical ethic of sexuality inside the bonds of marriage between one man and one woman for life. They also do an excellent job of diagnosing the heart of the issue, which is sin, but also describe the remedy which is Jesus. “The hope for the sexual sinner is not a psychological breakthrough or great cognitive behavioral therapy, or even Christian practices. The great hope for the sexual sinner, what will begin to set things right, is to catch a glimpse of Jesus.” Jesus is the answer for all of our sinful struggles whether they be sexual or otherwise.
The truth is “all have sinned and fallen short of the God’s glory” (Romans 3:23). Yet, Jesus met us at our lowest point and showed us his grace as a free gift. How often we forget that truth! It is so easy to judge people in their sin and forget the ugliness of our own sin that Jesus paid for. Jesus is the only remedy for the human condition! I truly believe that the way the culture will view the church in the future will be greatly influenced by the posture that the church has towards the homosexual issue. If the church has a “holier than thou” attitude that it has had in the past, the culture will continue to ignore the church and we will have no influence. However, if the church holds a posture of humility as sinners saved by grace, we can earn a hearing with our culture for the sake of the gospel.
I highly recommend Compassion Without Compromise for any pastor, small group leader, and disciple maker that is serious about making a dent in our culture for the sake of the gospel! In the days ahead every believer will be asked to pick a stance on this issue. Don’t bury your head in the sand! Get prepared, this book is a great resource that will point you in the right direction.
June 20, 2020
My beliefs and opinions on this subject and this book have drastically changed. I don’t support or endorse it, but I acknowledge my previous feelings on it.
4 Stars
Recommend to 16 & up
REVIEW:
Well, to be quite honest, this book was very hard for me to get through. It was sort of slow-going, and if you are familiar with the Christian argument for marriage and homosexuality, you will probably find quite a bit of the book redundant. The last fourth of Compassion without Compromise was really good, however, and how this book managed to earn 4 stars.
Adam and Ron share a lot of their personal experiences and set up a great foundation for their “compassion without compromise” argument. They use Scripture to support their beliefs, and also provide some practical advice on how to handle several different situations involving homosexuals and us as Believers. They do not write step-by-step plans, but offer sound advice that equips the reader to make sound decision in these difficult, grey areas.
One of the things I found most difficult, though, was their representation of their beliefs on homosexual desires and conversions. I appreciate that they took the time to outline and define homosexuality, but one of my biggest problems is those who push that God will change your homosexual desires to heterosexual desires once you become a Christian. Ron clarifies that this is not the case for everyone, some believers will still struggle with same-sex desires, but I wish this would have been a stronger point in the book. I believe that the Lord is capable of not only changing our hearts but out desires as well. This is not always the case though with homosexuality, and a lot of individuals fall away because of this false belief and pressure to change themselves. I am not saying it is okay to act on these desires, but temptations are there for all of us– and it is our decision whether or not to act on them. That does not mean those temptations disappear or are no longer tempting.
There is such a great need for community and support for homosexuals in our churches, and I am glad that both Ron and Adam did talk about that. They expressed the need for believers to surround our gay community with love, and then to confront the sin.
What I often find challenging for most people is drawing the line between condoning homosexuality and loving like Jesus Christ did. It’s a challenging subject, but Ron and Adam handled it fairly well. I would recommend this book to others! Just it is not the best book on homosexuality that I have read.
Please don’t be afraid to pick it up, I think these pastors have a lot of insight that is not only needed in our churches, but in our families and communities as well. Let me know what you think if you do read this one!
DISCLAIMER: I received this book for free from Bethany House Publishers in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
4 Stars
Recommend to 16 & up
REVIEW:
Well, to be quite honest, this book was very hard for me to get through. It was sort of slow-going, and if you are familiar with the Christian argument for marriage and homosexuality, you will probably find quite a bit of the book redundant. The last fourth of Compassion without Compromise was really good, however, and how this book managed to earn 4 stars.
Adam and Ron share a lot of their personal experiences and set up a great foundation for their “compassion without compromise” argument. They use Scripture to support their beliefs, and also provide some practical advice on how to handle several different situations involving homosexuals and us as Believers. They do not write step-by-step plans, but offer sound advice that equips the reader to make sound decision in these difficult, grey areas.
One of the things I found most difficult, though, was their representation of their beliefs on homosexual desires and conversions. I appreciate that they took the time to outline and define homosexuality, but one of my biggest problems is those who push that God will change your homosexual desires to heterosexual desires once you become a Christian. Ron clarifies that this is not the case for everyone, some believers will still struggle with same-sex desires, but I wish this would have been a stronger point in the book. I believe that the Lord is capable of not only changing our hearts but out desires as well. This is not always the case though with homosexuality, and a lot of individuals fall away because of this false belief and pressure to change themselves. I am not saying it is okay to act on these desires, but temptations are there for all of us– and it is our decision whether or not to act on them. That does not mean those temptations disappear or are no longer tempting.
There is such a great need for community and support for homosexuals in our churches, and I am glad that both Ron and Adam did talk about that. They expressed the need for believers to surround our gay community with love, and then to confront the sin.
What I often find challenging for most people is drawing the line between condoning homosexuality and loving like Jesus Christ did. It’s a challenging subject, but Ron and Adam handled it fairly well. I would recommend this book to others! Just it is not the best book on homosexuality that I have read.
Please don’t be afraid to pick it up, I think these pastors have a lot of insight that is not only needed in our churches, but in our families and communities as well. Let me know what you think if you do read this one!
DISCLAIMER: I received this book for free from Bethany House Publishers in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
January 4, 2020
Compassion Without Compromise: How the Gospel Frees Us to Love Our Gay Friends Without Losing the Truth has a lot going for it beginning with the title. In many ways, the authors (Adam T. Barr and Ron Citlau) accomplish their goal. Both are pastors. Ron was radically converted out of a homosexual lifestyle and Adam became burdened about how the Church was going to approach LGBTQ+ issues. The main question they seek to answer is: How can we be a compassionate, uncompromising witness in a culture that celebrates what the Bible censors? (18)
They accurately assess the cultural landscape:
Overall, the authors accomplish their goal, providing many insights that are worth reflecting on and applying in our relationships and witness. But at times the book lacks the biblical depth to handle the issues it raises. For example, Chapter 5, Ban All Shrimp: Shouldn’t Conservatives Be Consistent in Their Reading of Scripture? provides an overall weak answer to this critical question regarding Old Testament Law in the Book of Leviticus. Also, their discussion of desire, orientation, sexual identity, and sexual behavior comes up short in places (102-03).
This book may not be the best one on this topic but it is one that should be read along with those by Kevin DeYoung (who wrote the Forward) and Sam Allberry. It will challenge you to show compassion, while raising the difficult, practical questions that must be addressed in order not to compromise. Some will be drawn to the style and feel of the book more than others. But everyone can benefit from their repeated admonition: “Don’t panic! Things might get hard, but we are not alone” and the gospel does offer hope! (13, 135)
As the authors state:
They accurately assess the cultural landscape:
In the coming decades, we will discover that debate is not on the menu. We will be encouraged to choose between two equally unattractive alternatives: either “join the team” that is open and affirming or sit on the sidelines, be labeled a bigot, and shut up. It is already happening... As you read this book, students at colleges that once trained missionaries and pastors are being encouraged by their professors to change their views of human sexuality and biblical norms. They are attending lectures, workshops, and discussion groups meant to persuade them to reframe the Bible’s message. Not surprisingly, it’s not hard to convince them to do that. When students have never really heard a clear presentation of biblical truth on the issue, a moderately sophisticated presentation of on biblical teaching will go down easy. (19)
Overall, the authors accomplish their goal, providing many insights that are worth reflecting on and applying in our relationships and witness. But at times the book lacks the biblical depth to handle the issues it raises. For example, Chapter 5, Ban All Shrimp: Shouldn’t Conservatives Be Consistent in Their Reading of Scripture? provides an overall weak answer to this critical question regarding Old Testament Law in the Book of Leviticus. Also, their discussion of desire, orientation, sexual identity, and sexual behavior comes up short in places (102-03).
This book may not be the best one on this topic but it is one that should be read along with those by Kevin DeYoung (who wrote the Forward) and Sam Allberry. It will challenge you to show compassion, while raising the difficult, practical questions that must be addressed in order not to compromise. Some will be drawn to the style and feel of the book more than others. But everyone can benefit from their repeated admonition: “Don’t panic! Things might get hard, but we are not alone” and the gospel does offer hope! (13, 135)
As the authors state:
We want to help you hold out the true hope of the gospel to everyone. That hope is not simple affirmation. It is much more than mere tolerance. Our hope begins with the message that we all need God‘s forgiveness and joyfully proclaims that Jesus has made a way. It is a message of freedom. We are called to bring that message to the world.
And the world is waiting. (20)
February 10, 2015
Homosexuality has been a hot-button issue for christianity for past few years. As a result, christians and theologians have given this topic more thought about it. This is certainty a good thing for the church. We should always be ‘semper reformanda’ — always reforming.
However, this has also been an extremely polarising issue for christians and non-christians. Somehow it seems hard for anyone to disagree with homosexuality to be still be ‘loving’ or not be called a ‘bigot’ or ‘homophobic’. It seems hard for christians to be able speak the truth in love, to remain unwaveringly in the truth of God, and to still be loving our neighbours no matter what their response is. This is why I found this book so helpful. This book seeks to do both of them. It seeks to help christians to be faithful to the unchanging word of God, yet to be able to love our gay friends.
Adam Barr and Ron Citlau first grounds the christian in bible. They set forth what the bible has to say about sex and marriage. Next, the tackle the “problem” that Jesus has never explicitly rejected homosexuality. Very helpfully, Barr and Citlau then answers the critics that christianity should either abandon all the laws found in Old Testament or keep all of them. Barr and Citlau shows how Christians do not cherry pick the laws that they follow, rather they follow the principles that Jesus and the apostles have already laid down for us.
In the next section, Barr and Citlau then deals with the practical questions that people will have and think through about the practical implications we will have living in a culture that is aggressively promoting homosexuality as the norm.
I found the section on how the gospel can transform one’s sexual orientation very helpful and fills an important gap in existing literature. What makes this chapter even better is the fact that this was written by one who had struggled with homosexuality. The authors make it clear that the gospel does have the power to transform, though that might not always be the case for every christian who struggles with homosexuality.
Although this book was not as practical as I hope it would be, I must commend the authors on doing an excellent job in building their principles on the bible. Furthermore, they have helped me think through some issues that I have never considered.
Overall, a good book that all christians should read and consider.
Rating: 4.5 / 5
You can have a quick preview on the book here (http://www.compassionwithoutcompromis...)
Disclaimer: I was given this book free from the publisher in exchange for an honest review
However, this has also been an extremely polarising issue for christians and non-christians. Somehow it seems hard for anyone to disagree with homosexuality to be still be ‘loving’ or not be called a ‘bigot’ or ‘homophobic’. It seems hard for christians to be able speak the truth in love, to remain unwaveringly in the truth of God, and to still be loving our neighbours no matter what their response is. This is why I found this book so helpful. This book seeks to do both of them. It seeks to help christians to be faithful to the unchanging word of God, yet to be able to love our gay friends.
Adam Barr and Ron Citlau first grounds the christian in bible. They set forth what the bible has to say about sex and marriage. Next, the tackle the “problem” that Jesus has never explicitly rejected homosexuality. Very helpfully, Barr and Citlau then answers the critics that christianity should either abandon all the laws found in Old Testament or keep all of them. Barr and Citlau shows how Christians do not cherry pick the laws that they follow, rather they follow the principles that Jesus and the apostles have already laid down for us.
In the next section, Barr and Citlau then deals with the practical questions that people will have and think through about the practical implications we will have living in a culture that is aggressively promoting homosexuality as the norm.
I found the section on how the gospel can transform one’s sexual orientation very helpful and fills an important gap in existing literature. What makes this chapter even better is the fact that this was written by one who had struggled with homosexuality. The authors make it clear that the gospel does have the power to transform, though that might not always be the case for every christian who struggles with homosexuality.
Although this book was not as practical as I hope it would be, I must commend the authors on doing an excellent job in building their principles on the bible. Furthermore, they have helped me think through some issues that I have never considered.
Overall, a good book that all christians should read and consider.
Rating: 4.5 / 5
You can have a quick preview on the book here (http://www.compassionwithoutcompromis...)
Disclaimer: I was given this book free from the publisher in exchange for an honest review
March 30, 2015
This book is timely and helpful. I would contend that pastors should read this, to be sure, but this book should be employed in the church to teach the congregation. There are too many resources attached to this book by the authors themselves that to neglect it would be shame, shame, shame on you.
I am thankful for all that the pastors have said in this book, and it is exactly what I expected them to say. However, I felt like something was missing and something else was not developed. To the former, then the latter.
This is a well-rounded book covering various details and circumstances of homosexuality, the Bible, and the church. However, what I think is missing from the discussion is how the church responds to hostility, not just from government officials, but from the gay left. There is a difference between a repentant sinner and a high-handed rebel waving his sexuality as a banner against the God of heaven. This book focuses on how to minister to the one, while neglecting to inform us how to battle the other (and yes, I would argue "battle" is the right word). No compromise means not backing down, so what does this look like in the war we find ourselves in (Genesis 3:15)?
Now, to the aspect that was not fully developed in my estimation. The last chapter, "Don't Panic" is encouraging and I piled Amens on every page, but the vision of the Gospel is stuck in history, rather than moving forward and overcoming history. The authors are right that we carry the historical event of the Gospel with us everywhere we go, but this event is what has begun to usher in the new creation. It is not merely that Jesus is with us, but Jesus is winning. I think the authors would probably agree with me on this point, but I am arguing the fulfillment of the Gospel is the complete reversal of what the first Adam did. Jesus came not to do one thing (save us from judgment and our sins) but to radically renovate the creation Adam broke. This is the hope and victory of the Gospel in history.
All things considered. Go read this book, then give it to someone to read.
I am thankful for all that the pastors have said in this book, and it is exactly what I expected them to say. However, I felt like something was missing and something else was not developed. To the former, then the latter.
This is a well-rounded book covering various details and circumstances of homosexuality, the Bible, and the church. However, what I think is missing from the discussion is how the church responds to hostility, not just from government officials, but from the gay left. There is a difference between a repentant sinner and a high-handed rebel waving his sexuality as a banner against the God of heaven. This book focuses on how to minister to the one, while neglecting to inform us how to battle the other (and yes, I would argue "battle" is the right word). No compromise means not backing down, so what does this look like in the war we find ourselves in (Genesis 3:15)?
Now, to the aspect that was not fully developed in my estimation. The last chapter, "Don't Panic" is encouraging and I piled Amens on every page, but the vision of the Gospel is stuck in history, rather than moving forward and overcoming history. The authors are right that we carry the historical event of the Gospel with us everywhere we go, but this event is what has begun to usher in the new creation. It is not merely that Jesus is with us, but Jesus is winning. I think the authors would probably agree with me on this point, but I am arguing the fulfillment of the Gospel is the complete reversal of what the first Adam did. Jesus came not to do one thing (save us from judgment and our sins) but to radically renovate the creation Adam broke. This is the hope and victory of the Gospel in history.
All things considered. Go read this book, then give it to someone to read.
January 7, 2015
Compassion without Compromise is a surprisingly easy read on a very hot topic that is often confronting us as Christians. It’s “easy” as in straightforward, practical, and written for the everyday believer. The authors’, Adam T. Barr and Ron Citlau, heart for both God’s truth and those who struggle in sin is apparent from the front of the book… “How the gospel frees us to love our gay friends without losing the truth” to the back… “Loving, biblical answers on homosexuality” and all the way throughout.
I love the last part of the back summary… “Truth does not preclude kindness—and a good dose of humility is necessary to love our neighbors. With sensitivity and winsomeness, this book will offer an honest but inviting message to readers: We are all in need of the healing that can only come from the truth of the gospel.”
Barr and Citlau are both pastors who have seen how the issue of homosexuality is tearing apart families, friendships and churches. Ron Citlau also has the personal experience of living with same-sex attraction and yet now walking in God’s healing. They talk Biblically and practically with grace and love. Don’t miss the Further Learning and Note section at the back of the book. I found them very helpful and resourceful. There is also more resources including a study guide available at CompassionWithoutCompromise.com.
I received this book for free from Bethany House in exchange for my honest, unbiased opinion.
I love the last part of the back summary… “Truth does not preclude kindness—and a good dose of humility is necessary to love our neighbors. With sensitivity and winsomeness, this book will offer an honest but inviting message to readers: We are all in need of the healing that can only come from the truth of the gospel.”
Barr and Citlau are both pastors who have seen how the issue of homosexuality is tearing apart families, friendships and churches. Ron Citlau also has the personal experience of living with same-sex attraction and yet now walking in God’s healing. They talk Biblically and practically with grace and love. Don’t miss the Further Learning and Note section at the back of the book. I found them very helpful and resourceful. There is also more resources including a study guide available at CompassionWithoutCompromise.com.
I received this book for free from Bethany House in exchange for my honest, unbiased opinion.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews