The Resilient Woman: Mastering the 7 Steps to Personal Power

by Patricia O'Gorman

Women of all ages want to make others happy-it's just in a woman's nature, isn't it? But what happens when that "need to please" goes wrong, and a woman keeps pushing herself harder while simultaneously ignoring her own needs? What happens when a woman begins to think self-sabotaging girly thoughts-thoughts like If only I was thinner . . . younger . . . prettier . . . was into kinkier sex . . . ? What happens when relationships sour and the trauma is carried into subsequent relationships?

Noted psychologist and author Dr. Patricia O'Gorman answers these questions for today's generation of women. This expanded and updated edition of her groundbreaking book "Dancing Backwards in High Heels" reveals how girly thoughts are just conclusions women reach as a way of making sense of the trauma they've experienced and the resulting codependency issues they grapple with. They need to be reminded from time to time of the saying that while legendary dancer Fred Astaire received top billing, "Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels."

Whether dealing with family members, coworkers, intimate relationships, or a best friend, when a woman feels "less than" she often misses the path toward achieving her true potential. Blaming herself for what someone else has done to her is, sadly, a common theme among women, but Dr. O'Gorman shows how this reaction is merely how women have been conditioned to respond-then provides the tools they need to break the cycle and become more resilient.

Resilience, according to Dr. O'Gorman, is the part of us that celebrates it looks forward to new beginnings and back to past lessons. Using this life-long lens, readers will learn valuable ways of looking at their interpersonal relationships and will acquire tools to become more resilient, and they


Discover the resilience patterns established in childhood
Learn how "girly thoughts" become so powerful and how to neutralize them
Understand issues that are specific to women when dealing with any relationship
Learn to overcome trauma-physical, psychological, and emotional
Discover how to self-motivate by losing the victim mentality
Learn to listen to the inner self and align with personal strengths as a way to tap into personal power
Understand what resiliency is and is not, and how to achieve it
Determine personal resilience patterns

314 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 3, 1994

Reviews

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I gave the book a three- rather than two-star rating because I did not finish it. So, I have given the benefit of the doubt for the possibility that it gets better as it goes along. I got to about page 60 then skimmed to about page 120 then just gave it up.

The book is perhaps useful to those at the very beginning of their journey towards better self-esteem and self-reliance, but certainly it would not be the best book to choose even for that.

O'Gorman belabours some points to death so that the book gets tedious quickly. She also seems to pick-and-choose her examples and interpretations of these examples and the literature to suit her own points (e.g. in one chapter 'girly thoughts' are instilled from birth but in the next they arise when children move towards independence from parents and are more influenced by societal messages). Finally, O'Gorman seems completely enamoured by the phrase 'girly thoughts' which she uses like a hammer throughout and even puts in italics each time to ensure the reader notices it. A note to O'Gorman: hint, if you have to explain the reasons why a particular phrase is not really condescending, then it might be time to recognize that it really is.

There is perhaps some useful information in this book, but I got so bogged down in it, I no longer registered the points one way or another. After the third time that I noticed myself trying to force myself to read 'just a few more pages' I took O'Gorman's advice, listened to my inner self, and put the book down.

[Cassandra Hawkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Broken into three significant parts, The Resilient Woman: Mastering the Steps to Personal Power enveloped the essence of the word, resilient. Having heard this word before and used mostly as a description of hard-working women, I have developed a new-found knowledge of the term, and it's application to my life.Written by Dr. Patricia O'Gorman, PhD., this book contains three parts. Part I and Part II identifies negative and positive aspects of resilience and includes seven steps toward conscious resilience. Part III provides steps to use resilience in your life. Even though the introduction of the various real life situations were often confusing, this text can be useful in both the personal and professional lives of women. I read the book without completely using the journaling questions, but I can use the questions to create thought provoking writing marathons.

[Hali · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had some very good thoughts on resiliance in women. I hadn't considered resiliance to be the author's definition before, but it was a good concept, that I can incorporate into my own idea of resiliance. I would recommend this book, because of many good thoughts and ideas!

[Rabbit {Paint me like one of your 19th century gothic heroines!} · Rating 4 out of 5]

Disclaimer: This ARC was given to me for free in exchange for an honest review from Netgalley.

This was a pretty good book. I will definitely take to heart the lessons in this book.