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The Way I Used to Be #2
The Way I Am Now
Eden and Josh decide to give their relationship another chance in this much anticipated sequel to the New York Times bestseller The Way I Used to Be that explores how to move forward after trauma—in life and in love.
Eden and Josh never had a fair shot at a healthy relationship. When they dated in high school, they each had their own problems getting in the way of the deep connection they felt toward one another. Unbeknownst to Josh, Eden was carrying the burden of a devastating sexual assault, while Josh was dealing with his own private struggle of having an alcoholic father.
Months after Eden and two other girls publicly accuse their rapist, Eden is starting college while her case goes to trial. Now when she and Josh reconnect, it seems like it might finally be in the right place at the right time for them to make it work. But is their love strong enough to withstand the challenges and chaos of college and the crushing realities of a trial that will determine whether Eden gets the justice she deserves?
Eden and Josh never had a fair shot at a healthy relationship. When they dated in high school, they each had their own problems getting in the way of the deep connection they felt toward one another. Unbeknownst to Josh, Eden was carrying the burden of a devastating sexual assault, while Josh was dealing with his own private struggle of having an alcoholic father.
Months after Eden and two other girls publicly accuse their rapist, Eden is starting college while her case goes to trial. Now when she and Josh reconnect, it seems like it might finally be in the right place at the right time for them to make it work. But is their love strong enough to withstand the challenges and chaos of college and the crushing realities of a trial that will determine whether Eden gets the justice she deserves?
448 pages, Paperback
First published November 7, 2023
3850 people are currently reading
95590 people want to read
About the author
Amber Smith
14 books3,339 followersAmber Smith is the New York Times bestselling author of several novels for young adults, including the international bestsellers The Way I Used to Be and The Way I Am Now, as well as the critically-acclaimed and award-winning novels, The Last to Let Go and Something Like Gravity. Along with her middle-grade debut,Code Name: Serendipity, she also contributed to the award-winning YA anthology, Our Stories, Our Voices. An advocate for increased awareness of mental health, gendered violence, and LGBTQIA+ equality, she writes in the hope that her books can help foster change and spark dialogue. She lives in Ithaca, NY with her wife and their ever-growing family of rescued dogs and cats. Find her online at AmberSmithAuthor.com
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February 16, 2023MY GIRL EDEN AND MY BOY JOSH DESERVE THEIR HAPPY ENDING PLEASE
December 30, 2023
There is no worse feeling, at least when I’m reading, than being ultimately let down with one of my most anticipated releases of the year. To think about how past-me was delighted to hear about Eden and Josh getting the HEA (because I feel like I have been waiting since 2016) is just disappointing now. I tell myself not to have high expectations and hopes, but it’s difficult for a book you have been looking forward to for so long. The ending of The Way I Used to Be was pretty open-ended. It gave the readers a possibility for Eden and Josh to get a second chance, the right one, and to make things right. The ending also left readers wanting more in general, with how it was a little open-ended, one that readers can interpret on their own and either accept or realize there is still more to be said. So when I heard about this, I was so excited.
Only to be completely let down.
The biggest issue with this is the complete lack of character development. The Way I Am Now was supposed to focus on Eden’s character growth, where we witness her healing her wounds and scars from what she went through in the previous book–her SA, losing her best friend, distancing herself from her family, making up her lost time, preparing for high school graduation and getting into college–all these young adult things in life that were supposed to be a sort of “wake up call” for who she is. I was rooting for Eden in book 1, never blaming her for anything, especially as she was so young (she started at fourteen). Even through her most challenging moments of nothing but judgment and criticism, I couldn’t bring myself to hate her. I loved how the author wrote her character–with a cold exterior made to pretend she was okay, presenting a fake smile to hide her true emotions, showing a phony facade to endure her pain. I adored how she acted–bitchy, rude, cynical, pessimistic, and wholly absorbed in her ways, not caring about anyone else but herself. She was not meant to be liked; she was meant to be understood. She was not meant to be excused but to be listened to. But this was past Eden, Eden from high school, who made bad decisions and lost the most important people in her life. When we get to the end of book 1, we get an idea of who she wants to be in the future, hoping to make up with her friends and become stronger. She has dreams anyone can have, those related to relationships and love, college and a future career, anything and everything related to growing.
But we don’t see that here.
This book is supposed to be about Eden, but 70% of it is spent with Josh, 10% on herself, and the rest of the 20% is everything else–college, friends, making more stupid decisions, dealing with her dysfunctional family, her trial, work. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the moments she spent with Josh. The romance book lover in me was giggling and adoring the moments they shared, the mutual pining (this is dual pov!), their yearning for each other, and how they felt miserable without each other. We still see their love for each other, and there are a lot of moments between the two that are easy to root for. Many of the moments they missed out on in high school are made up here–the dates, hand holding, kissing, even the sex they use to make up. With how this is young adult, there aren’t a lot of graphics, but it also ventures a little more into NA territory, with Josh in college and Eden just starting college. Their sexual scenes are more fade to black, but there’s no hiding what they’re doing, and it’s easy to interpret what is going on. I’m only saying this because I know many (me included) don’t like sex in YA. However, I don’t mind/care about sex because it’s realistic; I just don’t read YA to read graphic sex, if that makes sense. Regardless of all the moments these two spend together, this book isn’t a complete romance, and it’s not meant to be, yet it felt like most of it was that. You would think I would be happy about this, but I am not because I was expecting a balance between the relationship and character growth of Eden.
Regarding Eden’s character and trauma, I didn’t like how everything was portrayed here. It’s not to say I share an experience like Eden’s, but I’m still going to give my opinion on how I felt about it.
I didn’t like it.
When an author decides to write an emotional journey like the one she went through, you can’t just brush it off like it’s nothing, trying to make it seem like romance is the biggest priority. Doing so just feels gross and lazy, unacceptable, as if romance and love are the cure for trauma. Some may say this wasn’t what the author did or her intention and that’s perfectly fine, but I didn’t interpret it that way. If 70%, or the majority of the story, is spent between Josh and Eden, being together, arguing, having sex, going out, and all these other things, how will there be room for Eden to heal supposedly? Was that not the point of this? To see Eden heal and find herself, figure things out as she goes through different emotions and journeys in this new path she’s setting for herself? Character development is crucial in stories like this. You can’t just give Eden a shitty story–one where her childhood and innocence were taken–and not make it a big deal in the following narrative that’s supposed to focus on her recovering, finding new happiness, and finding healing. Healing doesn’t happen within a day; we all know this. I am not, in any way, complaining about Eden not healing or recovering quickly or in a short amount of time. The process of healing is different for everybody. I have a friend who was in an abusive relationship for two years, and she only recently believed she’s finally made it after being in therapy for years and giving up on love forever. Now she’s with another guy, thriving and happy, even if the past still clings to her. Eden found that “ready” step she was looking for, but it wasn’t until the end. Therefore, throughout the story, she remains the same. There is no awareness of what she has done, no hints of regrets and remorse for her previous actions.
We’re supposed to feel bad for her simply because of what she went through and how she’s coping, but you can’t force me to feel sympathy for you when you don’t realize your mistakes. I will not excuse Eden for everything she did in high school, pretending she did nothing wrong and only she was wronged. I could understand her in the first book, feel for her, and even root for her. I even re-read The Way I Used to Be before starting this, and it made me understand her character even more now that I’m older. However, we aren’t talking about book 1. We aren’t talking about Eden’s mistakes in high school and how rude she came across. That is what this book is for! So why did we not see any development? Why did the author think the solution to making all this better was turning this into a full romance story for about 70% of the novel, ignoring that character growth is more than just finding happiness in the man you came to love?
I can’t even lie and say the relationship was a favorite part, because it wasn’t. Even with the moments I liked, their relationship development lacked chemistry. They see each other once in the beginning, and then they go out once, and then suddenly they’re together? We see them spend time together, sure, but again, this is where the character development should’ve been balanced out with the relationship. They didn’t get to know each other enough, and it felt like they just acted on pure instinct for their feelings. To me, Eden didn’t feel ready, and she clearly wasn’t as we see in the end, but, that’s exactly my point. That is my complaint. There’s just zero and no development whatsoever to show Eden has been growing as a person and trying to heal from what she went through. She felt like the same child in high school from book 1, making stupid decisions without really thinking them through. This book is also not a romance, so why is the romance much more apparent than her healing?
All in all, I just expected more. Disappointed wouldn’t begin to describe my feelings. I am appalled by the ridiculousness of this silly excuse of a book.
There are also a lot of plotholes, making the reading journey messy and confusing. The book is separated into four parts: April, July, September, and November. At least one month is skipped in each part. Now, I hardly ever criticize things like monthly time jumps. They make sense and feel necessary sometimes, with the author not wanting to write the book too long and make the story drag. We don’t need to know every single detail of the character. We don’t need to know everything they’re doing, every thought they have, every action they take. We need to know the most important parts enough to understand where the characters are coming from. But the time jumping in this doesn’t add to the story; instead, it takes away from it. We go from point A to point D without explaining what happened before. I will say that we’re probably supposed to accept what happens and move on simply. This is all great and dandy, but not when you don’t provide enough context to give your readers an understanding of what happened before. When we start with point A, confused about what happened before, it’s as if we jump to point D and never cross points B and C. We’re still left confused, with unanswered questions, unaware of what happened to get to our current point. How did Eden and Mara fix their relationship? How did Eden give another chance to Steve? How did Eden’s parents react to her confession after the end of book 1, when she and Caelin went in together to tell them the truth? What will happen to Kevin in the end? Will justice be served, and Eden, Mandy, and Gen be free? How did Eden make up all her missed high school assignments and graduate? How is Eden getting through college? Why do we not see more moments between her and her therapist? Does Eden not have more people around her to surround herself with? Why does Eden have to spend all her time with Josh? What happened to Steve, after all? Will Eden get a new therapist since her current one is back home and she isn’t living there? Why this? Why that? Why. Why. WHY. WHY?!
Furthermore, the ending doesn’t help whatsoever. Not only do we suffer through a measly excuse of a third-act breakup right at 80%, but this is where Eden’s development finally shines. NOT! SIKE! I’M KIDDING! IT DOESN’T TAKE UNTIL THE 90% MARK FOR EDEN TO WAKE THE FUCK UP AND GET UP HER FUCKING ASS AND REALIZE SHE NEEDS TO DO SHIT FOR HERSELF AND HERSELF ONLY. LIKE YEAH! GET A TATTOO OF A DANDELION BECAUSE YOUR FRIEND DRAGGED YOU TO HER BF’S TATTOO SHOP BECAUSE, ACCORDING TO HER, YOU ARE A BADASS. YES, QUIT YOUR STUPID CAFE JOB! START FUCKING JOGGING! QUIT SMOKING (AGAIN!) GO TO YOUR FUCKING COLLEGE CLASSES THAT YOU ARE PAYING FOR BECAUSE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA IS NOT FUCKING CHEAP! MAKE UP YOUR ASSIGNMENTS! YES QUEEN! DO IT NOW! NOT LIKE YOU HAD ALL THE FUCKING TIME BEFORE TO DO THIS!
Please don’t ask me why I wrote this in all caps and in bold. I’m too upset to care.
The saving grace of this was Josh and the beginning of their relationship. I was so excited for JoshEden that I tuned off everything else. If you do this for the entire story, you’ll enjoy this more than I did, but I also don’t think it’s fair to rate this based on that only when the story is supposed to be more than that. As some of you may know, I primarily read romance, and the most significant factors for my enjoyment are the relationship and characters, with everything else, like plot, writing, etc., following in after. Suppose a romance has mental health representation, sexual orientations that are different than the usual (like asexual rep), or anything related to more than just romance that also plays an important role. I try to judge the book with an open mind or analyze how I feel about it if I don’t have first-hand experience with something. In the case of The Way I Am Now, even if I can’t relate to Eden in any way (and I hope no one has to, but this world is unfair sometimes), I don’t think the author gave Eden enough development she deserved. Books like this will always be analyzed differently and are subject to be interpreted differently; I am not here trying to defend myself, but I will say nobody is right or wrong in how they feel about this. Some may be fanatics of how Eden was written and be fans of her “development,” even if I disagree entirely. Some may see Eden as vulnerable but strong when discussing her emotional experience.
Don’t get me wrong; there are MANY moments where Eden’s vulnerability and strength shine together. I loved when she stood up to her ex-manager; I loved when she could be truthful in her trial and stand up to herself; I loved… I loved….
Huh?
I don’t know what else I loved.
Maybe nothing?
Cause what else is there to love? What more about Eden was there to love when Eden never really acknowledges nor accepts her wrongdoings, not until the end; or how she doesn’t show us moments of her healing; or how she makes herself the victim for everything, ungrateful for what she has?
Excuse me, I am under the weather today. After all, it is flu season here, and my brother and niece are sick, and I feel myself getting sick. My throat hurts. I might need to remember important moments.
Or I might be feeling a little guilty because of what Eden went through and feel like you all will think of me as a rude, insensitive bitch because I can’t acknowledge it.
That’s fine, though, because I know I’m not. Despite so much time passing, I didn’t expect her “healing” to be spent so lonely, pining over a guy, and not focusing on herself. We skipped four months, and we’re only told a few things that happened in between this time, but we never see anything.
Honestly, I liked this book at first. As previously mentioned, I loved the moments between the two main characters, and the dual POV helped tremendously, but it got to the point where it got repetitive. There was nothing new to look forward to, nothing to root her in Eden’s character.
This book would not have been enjoyable if it weren't for Josh. I would have rated this one pathetic star if it weren’t for Josh and the lovely moments he and Eden had together at the start. Joshua Matthew Miller can do no wrong in my eyes. New book boyfriend or whatever (I don’t keep a list). My golden boy with too much weight on his shoulders, doing things for his parent’s sake, wishing someone would see him for who he is. The greenest flag. My consensual King. The most patient boy. Shy. Loving. Respectful. I don’t care what anyone says; he deserved better than Eden. I hated how the author made him seem like the bad guy as if he also doesn’t have personal demons he’s fighting. I hated how he blamed himself for everything and felt he should take the blame for what happened with Eden (their break up). When he says something Eden doesn’t like, she changes the subject or doesn’t reply, but the moment he speaks up, it’s game over for him. I loved his consent and respectful manner. He respected boundaries and wanted to get everything right. Eden truly did not see what a wonderful and amazing man she had in front of him. Instead, she would make herself the victim, making Josh feel bad for not “wanting” to have sex with her or touch her, even though he was doing it out of courtesy because he wanted to learn what triggered her. I am embarrassed by Eden, to be honest. She constantly complains about people not understanding her, and the moment Josh does, she’s upset. Choose a side to be miserable in, bro.
In addition to Josh being the saving grace, I enjoyed learning more about him. I loved how he stood up to his father, not just once, and stood his ground. He never backed down, and he made sure to make his father feel guilty for what he did to the family (alcohol addiction). Trusting Josh’s family was difficult initially, but they grew on me afterward.
In conclusion, I take back all the excitement I felt when I heard about this. The most memorable part about this is Josh, which is sad because even though we get his POV, this is more Eden’s story than anyone else’s. What a shame it hardly felt like it, though. What a shame that I have to be upset about this.
And thank you to my amazing and lovely friend, Hoda, for buddy reading this with me! 💖 Reading this with you made the reading more bearable, and I loved sharing our thoughts as we went in.
Only to be completely let down.
The biggest issue with this is the complete lack of character development. The Way I Am Now was supposed to focus on Eden’s character growth, where we witness her healing her wounds and scars from what she went through in the previous book–her SA, losing her best friend, distancing herself from her family, making up her lost time, preparing for high school graduation and getting into college–all these young adult things in life that were supposed to be a sort of “wake up call” for who she is. I was rooting for Eden in book 1, never blaming her for anything, especially as she was so young (she started at fourteen). Even through her most challenging moments of nothing but judgment and criticism, I couldn’t bring myself to hate her. I loved how the author wrote her character–with a cold exterior made to pretend she was okay, presenting a fake smile to hide her true emotions, showing a phony facade to endure her pain. I adored how she acted–bitchy, rude, cynical, pessimistic, and wholly absorbed in her ways, not caring about anyone else but herself. She was not meant to be liked; she was meant to be understood. She was not meant to be excused but to be listened to. But this was past Eden, Eden from high school, who made bad decisions and lost the most important people in her life. When we get to the end of book 1, we get an idea of who she wants to be in the future, hoping to make up with her friends and become stronger. She has dreams anyone can have, those related to relationships and love, college and a future career, anything and everything related to growing.
But we don’t see that here.
This book is supposed to be about Eden, but 70% of it is spent with Josh, 10% on herself, and the rest of the 20% is everything else–college, friends, making more stupid decisions, dealing with her dysfunctional family, her trial, work. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the moments she spent with Josh. The romance book lover in me was giggling and adoring the moments they shared, the mutual pining (this is dual pov!), their yearning for each other, and how they felt miserable without each other. We still see their love for each other, and there are a lot of moments between the two that are easy to root for. Many of the moments they missed out on in high school are made up here–the dates, hand holding, kissing, even the sex they use to make up. With how this is young adult, there aren’t a lot of graphics, but it also ventures a little more into NA territory, with Josh in college and Eden just starting college. Their sexual scenes are more fade to black, but there’s no hiding what they’re doing, and it’s easy to interpret what is going on. I’m only saying this because I know many (me included) don’t like sex in YA. However, I don’t mind/care about sex because it’s realistic; I just don’t read YA to read graphic sex, if that makes sense. Regardless of all the moments these two spend together, this book isn’t a complete romance, and it’s not meant to be, yet it felt like most of it was that. You would think I would be happy about this, but I am not because I was expecting a balance between the relationship and character growth of Eden.
Regarding Eden’s character and trauma, I didn’t like how everything was portrayed here. It’s not to say I share an experience like Eden’s, but I’m still going to give my opinion on how I felt about it.
I didn’t like it.
When an author decides to write an emotional journey like the one she went through, you can’t just brush it off like it’s nothing, trying to make it seem like romance is the biggest priority. Doing so just feels gross and lazy, unacceptable, as if romance and love are the cure for trauma. Some may say this wasn’t what the author did or her intention and that’s perfectly fine, but I didn’t interpret it that way. If 70%, or the majority of the story, is spent between Josh and Eden, being together, arguing, having sex, going out, and all these other things, how will there be room for Eden to heal supposedly? Was that not the point of this? To see Eden heal and find herself, figure things out as she goes through different emotions and journeys in this new path she’s setting for herself? Character development is crucial in stories like this. You can’t just give Eden a shitty story–one where her childhood and innocence were taken–and not make it a big deal in the following narrative that’s supposed to focus on her recovering, finding new happiness, and finding healing. Healing doesn’t happen within a day; we all know this. I am not, in any way, complaining about Eden not healing or recovering quickly or in a short amount of time. The process of healing is different for everybody. I have a friend who was in an abusive relationship for two years, and she only recently believed she’s finally made it after being in therapy for years and giving up on love forever. Now she’s with another guy, thriving and happy, even if the past still clings to her. Eden found that “ready” step she was looking for, but it wasn’t until the end. Therefore, throughout the story, she remains the same. There is no awareness of what she has done, no hints of regrets and remorse for her previous actions.
We’re supposed to feel bad for her simply because of what she went through and how she’s coping, but you can’t force me to feel sympathy for you when you don’t realize your mistakes. I will not excuse Eden for everything she did in high school, pretending she did nothing wrong and only she was wronged. I could understand her in the first book, feel for her, and even root for her. I even re-read The Way I Used to Be before starting this, and it made me understand her character even more now that I’m older. However, we aren’t talking about book 1. We aren’t talking about Eden’s mistakes in high school and how rude she came across. That is what this book is for! So why did we not see any development? Why did the author think the solution to making all this better was turning this into a full romance story for about 70% of the novel, ignoring that character growth is more than just finding happiness in the man you came to love?
I can’t even lie and say the relationship was a favorite part, because it wasn’t. Even with the moments I liked, their relationship development lacked chemistry. They see each other once in the beginning, and then they go out once, and then suddenly they’re together? We see them spend time together, sure, but again, this is where the character development should’ve been balanced out with the relationship. They didn’t get to know each other enough, and it felt like they just acted on pure instinct for their feelings. To me, Eden didn’t feel ready, and she clearly wasn’t as we see in the end, but, that’s exactly my point. That is my complaint. There’s just zero and no development whatsoever to show Eden has been growing as a person and trying to heal from what she went through. She felt like the same child in high school from book 1, making stupid decisions without really thinking them through. This book is also not a romance, so why is the romance much more apparent than her healing?
All in all, I just expected more. Disappointed wouldn’t begin to describe my feelings. I am appalled by the ridiculousness of this silly excuse of a book.
There are also a lot of plotholes, making the reading journey messy and confusing. The book is separated into four parts: April, July, September, and November. At least one month is skipped in each part. Now, I hardly ever criticize things like monthly time jumps. They make sense and feel necessary sometimes, with the author not wanting to write the book too long and make the story drag. We don’t need to know every single detail of the character. We don’t need to know everything they’re doing, every thought they have, every action they take. We need to know the most important parts enough to understand where the characters are coming from. But the time jumping in this doesn’t add to the story; instead, it takes away from it. We go from point A to point D without explaining what happened before. I will say that we’re probably supposed to accept what happens and move on simply. This is all great and dandy, but not when you don’t provide enough context to give your readers an understanding of what happened before. When we start with point A, confused about what happened before, it’s as if we jump to point D and never cross points B and C. We’re still left confused, with unanswered questions, unaware of what happened to get to our current point. How did Eden and Mara fix their relationship? How did Eden give another chance to Steve? How did Eden’s parents react to her confession after the end of book 1, when she and Caelin went in together to tell them the truth? What will happen to Kevin in the end? Will justice be served, and Eden, Mandy, and Gen be free? How did Eden make up all her missed high school assignments and graduate? How is Eden getting through college? Why do we not see more moments between her and her therapist? Does Eden not have more people around her to surround herself with? Why does Eden have to spend all her time with Josh? What happened to Steve, after all? Will Eden get a new therapist since her current one is back home and she isn’t living there? Why this? Why that? Why. Why. WHY. WHY?!
Furthermore, the ending doesn’t help whatsoever. Not only do we suffer through a measly excuse of a third-act breakup right at 80%, but this is where Eden’s development finally shines. NOT! SIKE! I’M KIDDING! IT DOESN’T TAKE UNTIL THE 90% MARK FOR EDEN TO WAKE THE FUCK UP AND GET UP HER FUCKING ASS AND REALIZE SHE NEEDS TO DO SHIT FOR HERSELF AND HERSELF ONLY. LIKE YEAH! GET A TATTOO OF A DANDELION BECAUSE YOUR FRIEND DRAGGED YOU TO HER BF’S TATTOO SHOP BECAUSE, ACCORDING TO HER, YOU ARE A BADASS. YES, QUIT YOUR STUPID CAFE JOB! START FUCKING JOGGING! QUIT SMOKING (AGAIN!) GO TO YOUR FUCKING COLLEGE CLASSES THAT YOU ARE PAYING FOR BECAUSE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA IS NOT FUCKING CHEAP! MAKE UP YOUR ASSIGNMENTS! YES QUEEN! DO IT NOW! NOT LIKE YOU HAD ALL THE FUCKING TIME BEFORE TO DO THIS!
Please don’t ask me why I wrote this in all caps and in bold. I’m too upset to care.
The saving grace of this was Josh and the beginning of their relationship. I was so excited for JoshEden that I tuned off everything else. If you do this for the entire story, you’ll enjoy this more than I did, but I also don’t think it’s fair to rate this based on that only when the story is supposed to be more than that. As some of you may know, I primarily read romance, and the most significant factors for my enjoyment are the relationship and characters, with everything else, like plot, writing, etc., following in after. Suppose a romance has mental health representation, sexual orientations that are different than the usual (like asexual rep), or anything related to more than just romance that also plays an important role. I try to judge the book with an open mind or analyze how I feel about it if I don’t have first-hand experience with something. In the case of The Way I Am Now, even if I can’t relate to Eden in any way (and I hope no one has to, but this world is unfair sometimes), I don’t think the author gave Eden enough development she deserved. Books like this will always be analyzed differently and are subject to be interpreted differently; I am not here trying to defend myself, but I will say nobody is right or wrong in how they feel about this. Some may be fanatics of how Eden was written and be fans of her “development,” even if I disagree entirely. Some may see Eden as vulnerable but strong when discussing her emotional experience.
Don’t get me wrong; there are MANY moments where Eden’s vulnerability and strength shine together. I loved when she stood up to her ex-manager; I loved when she could be truthful in her trial and stand up to herself; I loved… I loved….
Huh?
I don’t know what else I loved.
Maybe nothing?
Cause what else is there to love? What more about Eden was there to love when Eden never really acknowledges nor accepts her wrongdoings, not until the end; or how she doesn’t show us moments of her healing; or how she makes herself the victim for everything, ungrateful for what she has?
Excuse me, I am under the weather today. After all, it is flu season here, and my brother and niece are sick, and I feel myself getting sick. My throat hurts. I might need to remember important moments.
Or I might be feeling a little guilty because of what Eden went through and feel like you all will think of me as a rude, insensitive bitch because I can’t acknowledge it.
That’s fine, though, because I know I’m not. Despite so much time passing, I didn’t expect her “healing” to be spent so lonely, pining over a guy, and not focusing on herself. We skipped four months, and we’re only told a few things that happened in between this time, but we never see anything.
Honestly, I liked this book at first. As previously mentioned, I loved the moments between the two main characters, and the dual POV helped tremendously, but it got to the point where it got repetitive. There was nothing new to look forward to, nothing to root her in Eden’s character.
This book would not have been enjoyable if it weren't for Josh. I would have rated this one pathetic star if it weren’t for Josh and the lovely moments he and Eden had together at the start. Joshua Matthew Miller can do no wrong in my eyes. New book boyfriend or whatever (I don’t keep a list). My golden boy with too much weight on his shoulders, doing things for his parent’s sake, wishing someone would see him for who he is. The greenest flag. My consensual King. The most patient boy. Shy. Loving. Respectful. I don’t care what anyone says; he deserved better than Eden. I hated how the author made him seem like the bad guy as if he also doesn’t have personal demons he’s fighting. I hated how he blamed himself for everything and felt he should take the blame for what happened with Eden (their break up). When he says something Eden doesn’t like, she changes the subject or doesn’t reply, but the moment he speaks up, it’s game over for him. I loved his consent and respectful manner. He respected boundaries and wanted to get everything right. Eden truly did not see what a wonderful and amazing man she had in front of him. Instead, she would make herself the victim, making Josh feel bad for not “wanting” to have sex with her or touch her, even though he was doing it out of courtesy because he wanted to learn what triggered her. I am embarrassed by Eden, to be honest. She constantly complains about people not understanding her, and the moment Josh does, she’s upset. Choose a side to be miserable in, bro.
In addition to Josh being the saving grace, I enjoyed learning more about him. I loved how he stood up to his father, not just once, and stood his ground. He never backed down, and he made sure to make his father feel guilty for what he did to the family (alcohol addiction). Trusting Josh’s family was difficult initially, but they grew on me afterward.
In conclusion, I take back all the excitement I felt when I heard about this. The most memorable part about this is Josh, which is sad because even though we get his POV, this is more Eden’s story than anyone else’s. What a shame it hardly felt like it, though. What a shame that I have to be upset about this.
And thank you to my amazing and lovely friend, Hoda, for buddy reading this with me! 💖 Reading this with you made the reading more bearable, and I loved sharing our thoughts as we went in.
November 25, 2025
── 5 perfect stars ୨ৎ
꒰ spoiler free review ⊹₊ ⋆
┆ ⤿ 🐈⬛ ⌗ thoughts
⟡ i think this is the easiest five stars i've given in a while. eden's story will forever haunt me, and the first book genuinely never leaves my mind. this duet perfectly captures the life-long effects of a traumatic experience, as well as the struggles & pain that comes with healing. getting to see eden slowly mending herself back together, going to college, making new friends, and trusting herself to love someone despite her wounds, was so fufilling to me. my girl deserves nothing but the best.
⟡ i was hesitant about this book at first after finding out that it was josh & eden's love story, but amber smith executed it perfectly. i was scared that the author would make eden heal for a man so there could be a love story, but instead, eden healed for herself, while still learning to love in the process. it was perfect.
┆ ⤿ ☕ ⌗ characters
⋮ ⌗ ┆ eden mccrorey
꒰ long story short by taylor swift ⊹₊ ⋆
⋮ ⌗ ┆ josh miller
꒰ cool about it by boygenius ⊹₊ ⋆
⋮ ⌗ ┆ josh + eden
꒰ peace by taylor swift ⊹₊ ⋆
┆ ⤿ 🪷— ⌗ final thoughts
⟡ this duet has changed my life, and there's not a day that i don't think about my sweet eden & josh. if u haven't read these books, i highly recommend them, because they tell such an important story that not many books these days tell. (look up tws tho!!<3)
⟡my review of the way i used to be
⟡ my playlist for josh & eden
⟡ my the way i used to be pinterest board
started ➤ may 24, 2025
finished ➤ may 26, 2025
꒰ spoiler free review ⊹₊ ⋆
⊹ ࣪ ˖ "she was unlike anyone i'd ever known, and i was so intimidated by her — but i liked her. i wanted to know her, wanted her to know me. it was that simple. i was sure. she was worth whatever risk came with trying. then and now."
┆ ⤿ 🐈⬛ ⌗ thoughts
⟡ i think this is the easiest five stars i've given in a while. eden's story will forever haunt me, and the first book genuinely never leaves my mind. this duet perfectly captures the life-long effects of a traumatic experience, as well as the struggles & pain that comes with healing. getting to see eden slowly mending herself back together, going to college, making new friends, and trusting herself to love someone despite her wounds, was so fufilling to me. my girl deserves nothing but the best.
⟡ i was hesitant about this book at first after finding out that it was josh & eden's love story, but amber smith executed it perfectly. i was scared that the author would make eden heal for a man so there could be a love story, but instead, eden healed for herself, while still learning to love in the process. it was perfect.
⊹ ࣪ ˖ “i don’t even feel like I’m the same person anymore. back then I felt like I had no choice but to accept whatever kind of affection was offered to me even if it wasn’t what I wanted or needed. but maybe we can only accept the love we think we deserve.”
┆ ⤿ ☕ ⌗ characters
⋮ ⌗ ┆ eden mccrorey
꒰ long story short by taylor swift ⊹₊ ⋆
my comfort character forever. she has gone through hell and back, and still manages to fight every day for herself. she is unbelievably strong, and i've cried so many tears for this girl. i desperately wish i could give her the biggest hug, because so many have let her down and misunderstood her. watching her growth made me emotional, and I loved seeing her learn to finally heal, even when it hurt. the love i have for her is insane, and i hope that in the future she can continue to love & trust herself. she deserves only the best.
⋮ ⌗ ┆ josh miller
꒰ cool about it by boygenius ⊹₊ ⋆
oh how i love josh. he is exactly what eden needs (and while i know she would be able to heal without him, it's nice to know she has a shoulder to lean on when stuff goes wrong). he loves eden with his whole heart, being patient and understanding because he knows how rough things have been for her. when she shuts down, he knows how to help her out of it. when she's having a bad day, he knows how to make her feel less alone. i loved seeing him also learning to grow, and starting to forgive his father.
⋮ ⌗ ┆ josh + eden
꒰ peace by taylor swift ⊹₊ ⋆
my babies. so understanding and trusting of each other, and it's literally always been them. since the first book when eden was just a baby, i knew they were perfect. my heart hurt so bad while reading this, watching eden being in such a dark place and josh feeling everything she's feeling. her nightmare scene broke something in me, and i swear i've never cried harder. i hate breakups in books, but i liked how this one allowed the two of them time to heal individually so they could love each other fully.
⊹ ࣪ ˖ "it was like she was the only thing in color to me, everything else in my life felt so grey.”
┆ ⤿ 🪷— ⌗ final thoughts
⟡ this duet has changed my life, and there's not a day that i don't think about my sweet eden & josh. if u haven't read these books, i highly recommend them, because they tell such an important story that not many books these days tell. (look up tws tho!!<3)
⟡my review of the way i used to be
⟡ my playlist for josh & eden
⟡ my the way i used to be pinterest board
started ➤ may 24, 2025
finished ➤ may 26, 2025
November 8, 2023
“But the truth about us was also simple. Eden was angry and I was sad, and we shouldn’t have worked but we did. We worked like we weren’t too damaged to work. ”
✯You mean to tell me that after all the waiting and daydreaming about having this book. This is what u give me!! I’m very disappointed fr.
things that i liked
➾ josh my man 🫶🏻 and the development of his relationship with his family. Yes it was too late but at least it happened.
➾ parker friendship with eden. And Dominic and Luke relationship I wish we could see more of it.
➾ there was alot of josh and eden cute moments that i really loved 🫶🏻
things that i didn’t like
➾ character development where? Oh you mean that little teaser that happened in the last 10% of the book 🤡 This was supposed to be about her healing and selflove journey. But there was no healing and definitely no selflove.
➾ the time jump had me so confused. Everything was so out of place. They just met and the next thing i know is them on their first date saying i love yous to one another 🌝
➾ the lake of appearance of the other character. Like how she fixed things with mara and steve? What was her family reaction when she told them what happened? What happened with her family at the end? How caelin is taking all this? What her life inside the uni and classes was like? How she was dealing with the other students? And ..etc.
➾ this was supposed to be the closure to everything that happened in the first book. But the most important thing in the book which is kevin case was left undecided 🌝
➾ the third act break up 🤡 and how the author portrayed josh as the villain in this conflict. The way he was feeling guilty for literally doing nothing? No that shit pissed me off. The man perfect. He helped and protected her. He never judged her. Never said a bad word or anything to her. He was so considerate and kind and patient with her. So for the author to do him dirty like that just to make us feel more sympathy with eden🌝 Nuh it made me dislike her even more.
-
honestly what made reading this more bearable was reading it with elena 🫶🏻 it was good to share our thoughts together and to agree on them too. So thank u beautiful for making this experience better 💗 manifesting better books for us 🙏🏻
————————————————-
I’ve been waiting so long for this moment 😭
BR with beautiful elena 💗
✯You mean to tell me that after all the waiting and daydreaming about having this book. This is what u give me!! I’m very disappointed fr.
things that i liked
➾ josh my man 🫶🏻 and the development of his relationship with his family. Yes it was too late but at least it happened.
➾ parker friendship with eden. And Dominic and Luke relationship I wish we could see more of it.
➾ there was alot of josh and eden cute moments that i really loved 🫶🏻
things that i didn’t like
➾ character development where? Oh you mean that little teaser that happened in the last 10% of the book 🤡 This was supposed to be about her healing and selflove journey. But there was no healing and definitely no selflove.
➾ the time jump had me so confused. Everything was so out of place. They just met and the next thing i know is them on their first date saying i love yous to one another 🌝
➾ the lake of appearance of the other character. Like how she fixed things with mara and steve? What was her family reaction when she told them what happened? What happened with her family at the end? How caelin is taking all this? What her life inside the uni and classes was like? How she was dealing with the other students? And ..etc.
➾ this was supposed to be the closure to everything that happened in the first book. But the most important thing in the book which is kevin case was left undecided 🌝
➾ the third act break up 🤡 and how the author portrayed josh as the villain in this conflict. The way he was feeling guilty for literally doing nothing? No that shit pissed me off. The man perfect. He helped and protected her. He never judged her. Never said a bad word or anything to her. He was so considerate and kind and patient with her. So for the author to do him dirty like that just to make us feel more sympathy with eden🌝 Nuh it made me dislike her even more.
-
honestly what made reading this more bearable was reading it with elena 🫶🏻 it was good to share our thoughts together and to agree on them too. So thank u beautiful for making this experience better 💗 manifesting better books for us 🙏🏻
————————————————-
I’ve been waiting so long for this moment 😭
BR with beautiful elena 💗
November 13, 2023
the way i am now is disappointed
October 18, 2025
I liked this book sooo much 🥹🥹
Eden and Josh are just too cute together 🥹🫶 I’m genuinely so proud of them. They deserve the whole world. Both of them are so strong 🫶 and I’m so happy we got Josh’s POV in this book, it was so needed 🙂↕️🥹 I love my babies so much.
The ending? A great one, I’d say! Not a perfect one, but still a very satisfying one. I was going to give this 4 stars, but then came the third act breakup 😭 which honestly felt so unnecessary. It really didn’t need to be there, it felt like Miss Author was just trying to make the book longer 😭 She could’ve kept it shorter instead of adding that breakup and some of the dragging content. Yes, there were definitely moments that felt dragged to me 😭
But do I hate this book? Absolutely not. It gave me the ending I needed, and that’s a win for me 🥹
That being said, imo, the first book was better content-wise. It felt tighter, more focused, and didn’t drag at all.
Now, what made reading this book even more fun??? bestieee Mania 🙂↕️🫶 Buddy reading and yapping with her made this whole experience so much more fun 🥹💜 I had the best time with you, bestie. Thankyouuu for continuing this read with me. Mwah 💋
I seriously don’t have anything else to say because I’m a little sad 😭 So yeah, that’s it guys. Love y’all 🫶💜 Overall: a win for me.
———————————
✺ pre-read ✺
Time to continue my BR with bestieee Mania 🥹💜 We’re soooo ready. I need a happy ending plzzzz.
Eden and Josh are just too cute together 🥹🫶 I’m genuinely so proud of them. They deserve the whole world. Both of them are so strong 🫶 and I’m so happy we got Josh’s POV in this book, it was so needed 🙂↕️🥹 I love my babies so much.
The ending? A great one, I’d say! Not a perfect one, but still a very satisfying one. I was going to give this 4 stars, but then came the third act breakup 😭 which honestly felt so unnecessary. It really didn’t need to be there, it felt like Miss Author was just trying to make the book longer 😭 She could’ve kept it shorter instead of adding that breakup and some of the dragging content. Yes, there were definitely moments that felt dragged to me 😭
But do I hate this book? Absolutely not. It gave me the ending I needed, and that’s a win for me 🥹
That being said, imo, the first book was better content-wise. It felt tighter, more focused, and didn’t drag at all.
Now, what made reading this book even more fun??? bestieee Mania 🙂↕️🫶 Buddy reading and yapping with her made this whole experience so much more fun 🥹💜 I had the best time with you, bestie. Thankyouuu for continuing this read with me. Mwah 💋
I seriously don’t have anything else to say because I’m a little sad 😭 So yeah, that’s it guys. Love y’all 🫶💜 Overall: a win for me.
———————————
✺ pre-read ✺
Time to continue my BR with bestieee Mania 🥹💜 We’re soooo ready. I need a happy ending plzzzz.
November 15, 2023
Seriously a duet I will never ever forget!! Eden’s story will sit with me forever. This was the most perfect ending to edens story , it put me back together after “the way I used to be” tore me apart.
The dual pov and seeing both eden and josh’s voices gave this book the depth that made it so phenomenal.
Going to cry for the next few business days thinking of them now!
The dual pov and seeing both eden and josh’s voices gave this book the depth that made it so phenomenal.
Going to cry for the next few business days thinking of them now!
![Profile Image for zeinab ⟢ [semi-ia].](/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.gr-assets.com%2Fimages%2FS%2Fcompressed.photo.goodreads.com%2Fusers%2F1761331073i%2F182537303._UX200_CR0%2C6%2C200%2C200_.jpg&w=128&q=75)
December 19, 2025
── . ⟢ 4.25 stars ★
﹒⌗﹒ this review is spoiler free ⸝⸝
➵ screaming. crying. throwing up. oh my god?? i have no words to express the amount of sheer utter happiness i feel after this. and i swear i was crying tears of joy. since the beginning i just knew this would be nothing like book one, i just knew it would hit so much harder, and i’m so happy that i decided to pursue with eden’s story because there is nothing else in the world as haunting and thought provoking and overall as beautiful as it.
the character development in this book was beautiful and i felt so satisfied. getting josh’s perspective on everything was even better. the way we got to see how he described eden and how he carried all of her burdens even though his plate was full on its own? and he didn’t even give a fuck because he loved her. this is real love. where is the josh to my eden?
i love how we got to learn more about josh—his past, his relationship with his dad, his team—it felt so refreshing. his voice really shined through in this book and i kid you not the smile on my face every time i saw his name as a chapter title needs to be studied.
i have little to no complaints. one of the only things is that i do wish we got a bit more emotional growth on eden’s part. i feel like we didn’t get to see her try to recover as much as the first book. but this really was an amazing book nonetheless, i had the absolute best time reading this and bingeing fifty percent in an hour because of how fast paced and absolutely entertaining it was.
𓏲 characters ⸝ ⸝⸝
oh, my girl. i keep saying this but her character development made it so that i couldn’t do anything but love her. she is broken but mended herself, not for josh, but for herself. that is one of the things i admired the most about her. she deserves the world and josh is more then ready to give it to her and more.
joshua miller ladies and gentlemen. i kid you not he is at the top of my book bf list right now because this man? the way he is always there for eden melted my heart. he let himself get fucking bruised and bloody by her and still went to heal her own wounds first. he is the definition of the standard. if my future husband isn’t joshua miller i don’t fucking want him go back where you came from.
giggling and kicking my feet is an understatement for what i was doing every time they had a scene together. these two have my heart and soul, they are my drug. i swear i finished the book but i still can’t bring myself to stop thinking about them. protect them at all costs. the only thing i found unnecessary was the third act breakup, it made me scream because i was obsessed with them by that point but it did make the ending a lot more satisfying so im happy.
✧ ”it was like she was the only thing in color to me, everything else in my life felt so grey.”
✧ ”it’s like someone drew a face on me and carved it into my skin. scooped out my insides. just hollowed out, everything scraped clean. and then lit a fire in me and left me out in the cold.”
✧ ”but maybe we can only accept the love we think we deserve.”
✧ ”there’s nothing i needed more tonight than this, with josh. and god, how i am not used to getting what i need.”
✧ ”her laugh is a drug.” i’m just going to leave it at that 🧎♀️➡️
thank you again to ishi for buddy reading this duet with me. i love you forever and i had the absolute best time with you. i swear our yap sessions are unmatched. no words can describe how whole i feel after this book. it changed me and i don’t even feel like i think the same way anymore. josh and eden are my roman empire and i am absolutely obsessed with them and will be forever. their story is something so special and worth reading and i feel like everybody should experience it at least once in their lives.
﹒⌗﹒ this review is spoiler free ⸝⸝
”i think you love the person you knew back then, the person you believe i can become again one day.
but that’s not the same as loving me the way i am now.”
𓏲thoughts⸝ ⸝⸝
➵ screaming. crying. throwing up. oh my god?? i have no words to express the amount of sheer utter happiness i feel after this. and i swear i was crying tears of joy. since the beginning i just knew this would be nothing like book one, i just knew it would hit so much harder, and i’m so happy that i decided to pursue with eden’s story because there is nothing else in the world as haunting and thought provoking and overall as beautiful as it.
the character development in this book was beautiful and i felt so satisfied. getting josh’s perspective on everything was even better. the way we got to see how he described eden and how he carried all of her burdens even though his plate was full on its own? and he didn’t even give a fuck because he loved her. this is real love. where is the josh to my eden?
i love how we got to learn more about josh—his past, his relationship with his dad, his team—it felt so refreshing. his voice really shined through in this book and i kid you not the smile on my face every time i saw his name as a chapter title needs to be studied.
i have little to no complaints. one of the only things is that i do wish we got a bit more emotional growth on eden’s part. i feel like we didn’t get to see her try to recover as much as the first book. but this really was an amazing book nonetheless, i had the absolute best time reading this and bingeing fifty percent in an hour because of how fast paced and absolutely entertaining it was.
𓏲 characters ⸝ ⸝⸝
eden mccrorey‧˚₊⊹
oh, my girl. i keep saying this but her character development made it so that i couldn’t do anything but love her. she is broken but mended herself, not for josh, but for herself. that is one of the things i admired the most about her. she deserves the world and josh is more then ready to give it to her and more.
josh miller‧˚₊⊹
joshua miller ladies and gentlemen. i kid you not he is at the top of my book bf list right now because this man? the way he is always there for eden melted my heart. he let himself get fucking bruised and bloody by her and still went to heal her own wounds first. he is the definition of the standard. if my future husband isn’t joshua miller i don’t fucking want him go back where you came from.
eden & josh‧˚₊⊹
giggling and kicking my feet is an understatement for what i was doing every time they had a scene together. these two have my heart and soul, they are my drug. i swear i finished the book but i still can’t bring myself to stop thinking about them. protect them at all costs. the only thing i found unnecessary was the third act breakup, it made me scream because i was obsessed with them by that point but it did make the ending a lot more satisfying so im happy.
𓏲quotes⸝ ⸝⸝
✧ ”it was like she was the only thing in color to me, everything else in my life felt so grey.”
✧ ”it’s like someone drew a face on me and carved it into my skin. scooped out my insides. just hollowed out, everything scraped clean. and then lit a fire in me and left me out in the cold.”
✧ ”but maybe we can only accept the love we think we deserve.”
✧ ”there’s nothing i needed more tonight than this, with josh. and god, how i am not used to getting what i need.”
✧ ”her laugh is a drug.” i’m just going to leave it at that 🧎♀️➡️
𓏲overall⸝ ⸝⸝
thank you again to ishi for buddy reading this duet with me. i love you forever and i had the absolute best time with you. i swear our yap sessions are unmatched. no words can describe how whole i feel after this book. it changed me and i don’t even feel like i think the same way anymore. josh and eden are my roman empire and i am absolutely obsessed with them and will be forever. their story is something so special and worth reading and i feel like everybody should experience it at least once in their lives.
Want to read
February 16, 2023Oh man, I can’t wait to read this. Now rereading The Way I Used to Be is a must.
September 27, 2025
જ⁀➴ 𝟑.𝟓𝟎₊˚⊹💜 𝟘𝟡/𝟚𝟝/𝟚𝟝—𝟘𝟡/𝟚𝟞/𝟚𝟝
whenever i read a book in a series that i LOVED, i always am scared the next one will disappoint. this unfortunately, while i liked, did disappoint me.
» [i miss you, i’m sorry -gracie abrams] « 🤍
0:00 ─〇───── 0:00
⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻
one reason why i loved josh and eden so much in the first book was because they felt so raw and complicated. they were toxic and messy, but you could feel how they still fought for love. in this book, however, they just felt too polished. for them being such a sub-plot in the first book, i was expecting them to be a slow-burn but they just immediately got together. 😭
eden also didn’t feel like eden. while yes, she did grow up and obviously isn’t going to act like how she acted at 14-16, but she felt almost completely different. she went from someone who was shy, awkward, but used anger to cover herself up. she was messy, complicated, and was toxic in places. while this sounds crazy to want that eden back, it was what made her unique as a character and relatable. in this book, she felt so polished and like any other romcom fmc…
also, why was the ENTIRE book about josh and eden. in the first book, i think a reason i loved them so much was how they were just a small sub-plot so i was always clinging for more. this book on the other hand felt like every page was about them rather than EDEN’S SELF HEALING!! 😭 the starting of the book was also at such a weird place. we didn’t get the parent’s reaction, didn’t get mara’s reaction, etc. i feel the author completely forgot the point of this book…eden. not josh, not her new college friends, but EDEN! and then at the end we get josh and eden reconciling after a stupid third act breakup, but we never even get the outcome of the court case?! we are losing the plot.
i know it sounds like i hated this book, i did like it, it was just disappointing since i LOVED the first one. regardless, i did enjoy some of the scenes with josh and eden (despite them being overused). but mostly, in the 10% of the book where we got stuff about eden’s healing journey and kevin, i really enjoyed reading about eden fighting for justice.
honestly, my main complaint would just be about how eden almost completely changed as a character. regardless, i still liked this book duet, and would most DEFINITELY recommend the first one.
𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏: 𝟒.𝟐𝟓
𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒖𝒍𝒕: 𝟑.𝟓𝟎💜
╰┈➤ what to expect!!!
💜second chance romance
🤍”you were always the one”
💜dual perspective
🤍path to recovery
💜romance subplot
🤍last book in a duet
₊˚⊹ ᰔ 𝐩𝐫𝐞-𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝:
okay after the ending of the last book i HAVE to read this one 🥺!! josh and eden genuinely have my hearts so I can’t wait to see how they are handled in this book!!
whenever i read a book in a series that i LOVED, i always am scared the next one will disappoint. this unfortunately, while i liked, did disappoint me.
» [i miss you, i’m sorry -gracie abrams] « 🤍
0:00 ─〇───── 0:00
⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻
one reason why i loved josh and eden so much in the first book was because they felt so raw and complicated. they were toxic and messy, but you could feel how they still fought for love. in this book, however, they just felt too polished. for them being such a sub-plot in the first book, i was expecting them to be a slow-burn but they just immediately got together. 😭
eden also didn’t feel like eden. while yes, she did grow up and obviously isn’t going to act like how she acted at 14-16, but she felt almost completely different. she went from someone who was shy, awkward, but used anger to cover herself up. she was messy, complicated, and was toxic in places. while this sounds crazy to want that eden back, it was what made her unique as a character and relatable. in this book, she felt so polished and like any other romcom fmc…
also, why was the ENTIRE book about josh and eden. in the first book, i think a reason i loved them so much was how they were just a small sub-plot so i was always clinging for more. this book on the other hand felt like every page was about them rather than EDEN’S SELF HEALING!! 😭 the starting of the book was also at such a weird place. we didn’t get the parent’s reaction, didn’t get mara’s reaction, etc. i feel the author completely forgot the point of this book…eden. not josh, not her new college friends, but EDEN! and then at the end we get josh and eden reconciling after a stupid third act breakup, but we never even get the outcome of the court case?! we are losing the plot.
i know it sounds like i hated this book, i did like it, it was just disappointing since i LOVED the first one. regardless, i did enjoy some of the scenes with josh and eden (despite them being overused). but mostly, in the 10% of the book where we got stuff about eden’s healing journey and kevin, i really enjoyed reading about eden fighting for justice.
honestly, my main complaint would just be about how eden almost completely changed as a character. regardless, i still liked this book duet, and would most DEFINITELY recommend the first one.
𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏: 𝟒.𝟐𝟓
𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒖𝒍𝒕: 𝟑.𝟓𝟎💜
╰┈➤ what to expect!!!
💜second chance romance
🤍”you were always the one”
💜dual perspective
🤍path to recovery
💜romance subplot
🤍last book in a duet
₊˚⊹ ᰔ 𝐩𝐫𝐞-𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝:
okay after the ending of the last book i HAVE to read this one 🥺!! josh and eden genuinely have my hearts so I can’t wait to see how they are handled in this book!!
May 28, 2024
J’avais besoin de cette fin même si je n’ai pas pu m’empêcher de lire la suite.
Avant même de commencer ma review je vais me plaindre des éditions françaises la suite est disponible en anglais bien sûr et en espagnol mais en français que dalle !!!!
Heureusement que je parle l’espagnol!!!
J’ai adoré ce tome. J’avais besoin de voir comment Eden allait continuer sa vie et surtout son histoire d’amour avec Joshua alors j’avoue je ne lis pas la fin des livres en avance je voulais tellement savoir s’ils finissaient ensemble et j’ai été rassurée. J’ai aimé l’évolution de leur relation comment tous les deux ils affrontent les épreuves et les surmontent. Ils avaient besoin de se séparer pour grandir tous les deux.
Ces deux livres vont me hanter pendant longtemps…
Avant même de commencer ma review je vais me plaindre des éditions françaises la suite est disponible en anglais bien sûr et en espagnol mais en français que dalle !!!!
Heureusement que je parle l’espagnol!!!
J’ai adoré ce tome. J’avais besoin de voir comment Eden allait continuer sa vie et surtout son histoire d’amour avec Joshua alors j’avoue je ne lis pas la fin des livres en avance je voulais tellement savoir s’ils finissaient ensemble et j’ai été rassurée. J’ai aimé l’évolution de leur relation comment tous les deux ils affrontent les épreuves et les surmontent. Ils avaient besoin de se séparer pour grandir tous les deux.
Ces deux livres vont me hanter pendant longtemps…
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 16, 2024
1.5 ⭐
Oh boy, this was disappointing.
Where do I even start, like...
These stars are for Josh and Josh only. I loved his character development and his cute moments with Eden. The way he stood up for himself in front of his parents and dealt with stuff 🥹❣️
He's that perfect golden retriever type of boyfriend Ugh- love him
Where the hell was Eden's character development that I was supposed to get? Where is the healing journey? where are the friends? what happened after the first book ended... So many more questions!
This book felt so unfinished, there were so many questions that needed answers. God, I needed a lot more of Eden's healing journey and a lot more character development than we got in the last few pages of the book!!!!. 😭😭
I don't have any more words to say; my mouth feels bitter from the amount of disappointment I got from reading this.
________
OMG OMG OMG I NEED JOSH AND EDEN'S HAPPY ENDING OR ISTG!!
Oh boy, this was disappointing.
Where do I even start, like...
These stars are for Josh and Josh only. I loved his character development and his cute moments with Eden. The way he stood up for himself in front of his parents and dealt with stuff 🥹❣️
He's that perfect golden retriever type of boyfriend Ugh- love him
Where the hell was Eden's character development that I was supposed to get? Where is the healing journey? where are the friends? what happened after the first book ended... So many more questions!
This book felt so unfinished, there were so many questions that needed answers. God, I needed a lot more of Eden's healing journey and a lot more character development than we got in the last few pages of the book!!!!. 😭😭
I don't have any more words to say; my mouth feels bitter from the amount of disappointment I got from reading this.
________
OMG OMG OMG I NEED JOSH AND EDEN'S HAPPY ENDING OR ISTG!!
November 19, 2023
it shattered my heart into pieces and then put it back together
eden & josh forever in my heart 💔❤️🩹
eden & josh forever in my heart 💔❤️🩹
October 29, 2025
one of my biggest fears going into this book was that amber smith would portray the characters differently than in ‘the way i used to be’, which is one of my fav books. I think I was pleasantly surprised by how much i enjoyed reading about these older versions of eden and josh.
the story line on the other hand was disappointing, i expected more bonding between them instead of them just getting back together like that??
usually i think sequels that come out so many years later just because a book becomes poplar are so unnecessary but for this one I actually thought it would make so much sense, considering eden’s background and how the first book just ended with her finally starting to let herself heal. so even though i, of course, was excited to read about eden and josh again, I think the more important part about such a sequel was eden’s growth. but sadly we didn’t get to see much of that part of her story. this book basically turned into a romance. As much as I love love love josh, I think he should’ve just been a side plot. I still enjoyed the majority of this book even tho I wish it would have went into a totally different direction. but the plot got so repetitive that I got bored in the end 😭
I still recommend reading this book after ‘the way i used to be’ but I wouldn’t say it’s a must 💘
songs that this book reminded me of:
I miss you, I’m sorry & it’s time to go
the story line on the other hand was disappointing, i expected more bonding between them instead of them just getting back together like that??
usually i think sequels that come out so many years later just because a book becomes poplar are so unnecessary but for this one I actually thought it would make so much sense, considering eden’s background and how the first book just ended with her finally starting to let herself heal. so even though i, of course, was excited to read about eden and josh again, I think the more important part about such a sequel was eden’s growth. but sadly we didn’t get to see much of that part of her story. this book basically turned into a romance. As much as I love love love josh, I think he should’ve just been a side plot. I still enjoyed the majority of this book even tho I wish it would have went into a totally different direction. but the plot got so repetitive that I got bored in the end 😭
I still recommend reading this book after ‘the way i used to be’ but I wouldn’t say it’s a must 💘
songs that this book reminded me of:
I miss you, I’m sorry & it’s time to go
December 22, 2024
4 ★
i’m so happy with where this ended…
review coming soon 🫶🏻
.・゜゜・ pre-read ・゜゜・．
jumping straight into this cause i desperately need to see my baby Eden do some healing 🥹
i’m so happy with where this ended…
review coming soon 🫶🏻
.・゜゜・ pre-read ・゜゜・．
jumping straight into this cause i desperately need to see my baby Eden do some healing 🥹
Read
October 19, 2025Well this was disappointing especially because I absolutely adored book 1 😔....rtc!
₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊
☔ ࣪𖤐.ᐟ꒰ 𝑷𝒓𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 ꒱𖤐.ᐟ☔
⤷I litteraly can't stop thinking about the first book so it's time to continue the br with my bestieee Uswahhhhh we need a satisfying ending for this one. Also so ready to go feral over Josh's povs eeeeeekkk.
₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊
☔ ࣪𖤐.ᐟ꒰ 𝑷𝒓𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 ꒱𖤐.ᐟ☔
⤷I litteraly can't stop thinking about the first book so it's time to continue the br with my bestieee Uswahhhhh we need a satisfying ending for this one. Also so ready to go feral over Josh's povs eeeeeekkk.
September 21, 2023
“I look at myself for the first time in a long time. I’m almost surprised to see that it’s still my face, my eyes, looking back at me. My hair, my body, my tattoo, my scars. “This is you,” I whisper to myself.”
This quote my possibly be one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I can’t explain it nor will I even try. Eden means so much to me in so many ways. I’m so happy to have been able to continue reading her story. I’ve cried so much while reading. I needed this exact book right now and I think a lot of others will to.
A full rtc when released.
This quote my possibly be one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I can’t explain it nor will I even try. Eden means so much to me in so many ways. I’m so happy to have been able to continue reading her story. I’ve cried so much while reading. I needed this exact book right now and I think a lot of others will to.
A full rtc when released.
November 1, 2025
These two are my babies omg😭💕 rtc
November 17, 2023
A million stars forever and ever♾️⭐️
Oh my god, my heart is completely healed but at the same time will never recover (in a good way) after reading the highly deserved love story Eden and Josh finally got.
The grip this book and these characters have on me are insane. It put me through all the emotions posible. I was happy, sad, in pain, heartbroken, mad and giggling from the cuteness, all at the same time. I’m so proud of Eden, how strong she is and seeing her growth just has me tearing up. She’s the sweetest character ever and deserves the world. I just want to give her a big hug🫂. And Josh…oh how I love him. He’s the most sweet, understanding and caring guy in the world and I was crying the whole time he was with Eden. How he just wanted to take care and protect her, and always wants her happiness and is so proud of her. He also deserves the absolute best after everything he went through by his own.
“You know you’re on my mind” is the best way in which I can describe how much Eden and Josh mean to me. Because that’s the whole truth, I think about these two every.single.day of my life and will never get over them. I could literally write a 10 page essay about them…they’re embedded in my heart and will never leave, I adore them. Seeing them have their happy, but emotional and at the same time painful love story was everything I’ve ever wanted and so much more. Their love is so pure and they truly deserve all the happiness in the world by each other's side. I’m beyond happy of the ending they got, tho it breaks me to have to say goodbye to them. I’m gonna miss them so much🤧.
“She was worth whatever risk came with trying. Then and now” 🥺❤️🩹
Oh my god, my heart is completely healed but at the same time will never recover (in a good way) after reading the highly deserved love story Eden and Josh finally got.
The grip this book and these characters have on me are insane. It put me through all the emotions posible. I was happy, sad, in pain, heartbroken, mad and giggling from the cuteness, all at the same time. I’m so proud of Eden, how strong she is and seeing her growth just has me tearing up. She’s the sweetest character ever and deserves the world. I just want to give her a big hug🫂. And Josh…oh how I love him. He’s the most sweet, understanding and caring guy in the world and I was crying the whole time he was with Eden. How he just wanted to take care and protect her, and always wants her happiness and is so proud of her. He also deserves the absolute best after everything he went through by his own.
“You know you’re on my mind” is the best way in which I can describe how much Eden and Josh mean to me. Because that’s the whole truth, I think about these two every.single.day of my life and will never get over them. I could literally write a 10 page essay about them…they’re embedded in my heart and will never leave, I adore them. Seeing them have their happy, but emotional and at the same time painful love story was everything I’ve ever wanted and so much more. Their love is so pure and they truly deserve all the happiness in the world by each other's side. I’m beyond happy of the ending they got, tho it breaks me to have to say goodbye to them. I’m gonna miss them so much🤧.
“She was worth whatever risk came with trying. Then and now” 🥺❤️🩹
November 3, 2023
I’m so glad that the author went back and continued Eden and Josh’s story. This sequel was beautiful and I feel like it was needed to represent the ‘after’ and how healing isn’t linear. Going into this I wasn’t sure what to think because I thought that The Way I Used to Be ended perfectly, but this book was the true conclusion I needed for not just Eden’s story but also Josh’s. I felt like having the dual POV was a really important part of this book because we got to see both the aftermath of Eden reporting her assault, and Josh’s personal story. I also think adding Josh’s POV was a great way to show his own struggles in supporting Eden. Overall this was a great unexpected, but enjoyable and important sequel that anyone who loved the first book should check out.
December 13, 2024
⭐️4⭐️
The Way I Am Now
Plot:
Eden and Josh's high school relationship was hindered by personal struggles. Years later, as Eden faces her rapist's trial in college, they reconnect, but their love must navigate the challenges of her past and his difficult home life.
Romance | Mental Health
My Thoughts:
If you were hoping for a complete resolution, I'm afraid not everything is neatly wrapped up in this story. Which hopeful is hinting at the possibility of another book to come. Once again, Amber delivers the raw emotions of teenage heartbreak and tragedy, capturing the complexity of being a teenager, especially when you're facing the overwhelming challenge of attending a trial. Eden's journey through her struggles is filled with resilience and grace, and her strength will undoubtedly inspire readers to confront their own challenges with courage and hope.
The Way I Am Now
Plot:
Eden and Josh's high school relationship was hindered by personal struggles. Years later, as Eden faces her rapist's trial in college, they reconnect, but their love must navigate the challenges of her past and his difficult home life.
Romance | Mental Health
My Thoughts:
If you were hoping for a complete resolution, I'm afraid not everything is neatly wrapped up in this story. Which hopeful is hinting at the possibility of another book to come. Once again, Amber delivers the raw emotions of teenage heartbreak and tragedy, capturing the complexity of being a teenager, especially when you're facing the overwhelming challenge of attending a trial. Eden's journey through her struggles is filled with resilience and grace, and her strength will undoubtedly inspire readers to confront their own challenges with courage and hope.
August 3, 2024
4.25 stars
”I love you”
”thank you”
“for what? loving you?”
“yes”
while I didn’t love this as much as the first book, I still loved this one. authors write second books for books that should’ve been standalone but, thankfully, this was not the case. this one was beautiful in it’s own way. it followed eden’s journey to healing and giving her and josh the second chance they deserve. eden is one of my favorite characters ever and I don’t think I’ll ever forget about her. if you are thinking about giving this series a try, please do. I promise you won’t regret it
”I repeat myself, clearly this time, no questions, no doubts. ‘i’m ready’”
the way I used to be - 5 stars
the way I am now - 4.25 stars
”I love you”
”thank you”
“for what? loving you?”
“yes”
while I didn’t love this as much as the first book, I still loved this one. authors write second books for books that should’ve been standalone but, thankfully, this was not the case. this one was beautiful in it’s own way. it followed eden’s journey to healing and giving her and josh the second chance they deserve. eden is one of my favorite characters ever and I don’t think I’ll ever forget about her. if you are thinking about giving this series a try, please do. I promise you won’t regret it
”I repeat myself, clearly this time, no questions, no doubts. ‘i’m ready’”
the way I used to be - 5 stars
the way I am now - 4.25 stars
October 4, 2024
essentially fan service but eden is my daughter fr <3
September 13, 2024
tout aussi bouleversant que le tome 1, je les aime de tout mon coeur purée, je suis une fois de plus passée par tellement d’émotions… la colère, la compassion, la tristesse. il s’agit de personnages fictifs mais j’espère sincèrement qu’ils iront bien, ils vont me manquer 🥺
merci à Amber Smith pour cette suite nécessaire. d’avoir partagé avec nous l’évolution d’Eden à travers les épreuves qu’elle a dû continuer d’affronter et merci à Josh, purée ayons toutes un Josh dans nos vies.
— "and even though I'd gone without her for so long, I didn't know if I could go on without her in the world." 💔
merci à Amber Smith pour cette suite nécessaire. d’avoir partagé avec nous l’évolution d’Eden à travers les épreuves qu’elle a dû continuer d’affronter et merci à Josh, purée ayons toutes un Josh dans nos vies.
— "and even though I'd gone without her for so long, I didn't know if I could go on without her in the world." 💔
October 9, 2024
4.5 ⭐️ this was the perfect way to end this series!
September 13, 2024
“𝑴𝒚 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅 𝒊𝒔 𝒂 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒆𝒅𝒈𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒆𝒊𝒓𝒅, 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇.”
Nunca antes había sentido tanto miedo al leer la segunda parte de un libro como en este caso. El primer libro trata sobre Eden, quien fue violada por el mejor amigo de su hermano cuando tenía 14 años, y eso fue un detonante en su vida. Empezamos a leer sobre Eden, lo que le sucedió, y cómo este evento traumático afectó cada aspecto de su existencia. La forma en que la autora describe el dolor y la confusión de Eden es desgarradora, pero también increíblemente real.
Esta segunda entrega se trata más bien del proceso de sanación, y solo quiero decir que estoy realmente orgullosa de este personaje. Ver a Eden luchar contra sus demonios internos, enfrentar sus miedos y poco a poco reconstruirse a sí misma es una experiencia emotiva y poderosa. Hay momentos en los que quería entrar en el libro y abrazarla, decirle que todo estaría bien, pero también momentos en los que su fuerza me dejaba sin aliento.
Al final, estos personajes ocupan un lugar en mi corazón, al igual que este libro, porque la autora, a pesar de que lo que escribió es ficción, también es una realidad que muchas personas atraviesan. La crudeza y honestidad con la que se abordan temas tan delicados como el abuso sexual, el trauma y el proceso de recuperación es admirable. Estoy agradecida por habernos dado este mensaje, por dar voz a aquellos que muchas veces son silenciados.
Este libro tiene una de mis dedicatorias favoritas. Las palabras del autor al inicio del libro resuenan con una verdad tan profunda que me estremecieron. Se convirtió en uno de mis favoritos no solo por la historia, sino por cómo está escrito, por la empatía que evoca, por cómo me hizo sentir y pensar.
No he vuelto a ser la misma desde que leí estos libros. Cada vez que pienso en Eden y su viaje, siento una mezcla de tristeza y esperanza. Estos libros me han marcado de una manera que pocos libros lo han hecho, y sé que su impacto en mí perdurará por mucho tiempo.
Gracias a penguin random house por el ejemplar 💌
Nunca antes había sentido tanto miedo al leer la segunda parte de un libro como en este caso. El primer libro trata sobre Eden, quien fue violada por el mejor amigo de su hermano cuando tenía 14 años, y eso fue un detonante en su vida. Empezamos a leer sobre Eden, lo que le sucedió, y cómo este evento traumático afectó cada aspecto de su existencia. La forma en que la autora describe el dolor y la confusión de Eden es desgarradora, pero también increíblemente real.
Esta segunda entrega se trata más bien del proceso de sanación, y solo quiero decir que estoy realmente orgullosa de este personaje. Ver a Eden luchar contra sus demonios internos, enfrentar sus miedos y poco a poco reconstruirse a sí misma es una experiencia emotiva y poderosa. Hay momentos en los que quería entrar en el libro y abrazarla, decirle que todo estaría bien, pero también momentos en los que su fuerza me dejaba sin aliento.
Al final, estos personajes ocupan un lugar en mi corazón, al igual que este libro, porque la autora, a pesar de que lo que escribió es ficción, también es una realidad que muchas personas atraviesan. La crudeza y honestidad con la que se abordan temas tan delicados como el abuso sexual, el trauma y el proceso de recuperación es admirable. Estoy agradecida por habernos dado este mensaje, por dar voz a aquellos que muchas veces son silenciados.
Este libro tiene una de mis dedicatorias favoritas. Las palabras del autor al inicio del libro resuenan con una verdad tan profunda que me estremecieron. Se convirtió en uno de mis favoritos no solo por la historia, sino por cómo está escrito, por la empatía que evoca, por cómo me hizo sentir y pensar.
No he vuelto a ser la misma desde que leí estos libros. Cada vez que pienso en Eden y su viaje, siento una mezcla de tristeza y esperanza. Estos libros me han marcado de una manera que pocos libros lo han hecho, y sé que su impacto en mí perdurará por mucho tiempo.
Gracias a penguin random house por el ejemplar 💌
November 4, 2025
⋆˙⟡ — 3.75 stars
ugh i love eden and josh 🥹🤍 rtc!!
𐙚⋆°｡⋆♡ pre-read ♡⋆°｡⋆𐙚
⤷ i've been putting this book off for a while and now i wish i picked it up sooner 😌 i'm 44% in and i'm loving it so far!!
ugh i love eden and josh 🥹🤍 rtc!!
𐙚⋆°｡⋆♡ pre-read ♡⋆°｡⋆𐙚
⤷ i've been putting this book off for a while and now i wish i picked it up sooner 😌 i'm 44% in and i'm loving it so far!!
February 14, 2024
3.5★
The Way I Am Now by Amber Smith is the sequel to The Way I Used To Be. I enjoyed this book and it was good to catch up with Eden and Josh. Watching each of these characters develop over time and seeing their relationship grow stronger has been an interesting and at times heart-wrenching journey. Well worth reading. Recommended.
The Way I Am Now by Amber Smith is the sequel to The Way I Used To Be. I enjoyed this book and it was good to catch up with Eden and Josh. Watching each of these characters develop over time and seeing their relationship grow stronger has been an interesting and at times heart-wrenching journey. Well worth reading. Recommended.
December 2, 2024
ೃ⁀➷𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆 𝒘𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒄𝒄𝒆𝒑𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒘𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒆..."
~~> 4🌟
Changing my rating cuz I can't stop thinking about Josh these days idk why ..
𝗘𝗱𝗲𝗻 is learning how 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗹𝘆 𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗹𝗼𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿.. In counseling, she’s working to understand who she is now, while also maintaining relationships with friends who don’t know what happened and family members who are dealing with guilt and anger in their own ways. Others’ reactions often leave 𝗘𝗱𝗲𝗻 feeling like her honesty was more burdensome than helpful.
She awaits the trial and reconnects with 𝗝𝗼𝘀𝗵, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒐𝒚 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏’𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 and the only person outside her family who knew the truth.
While 𝗘𝗱𝗲𝗻 and 𝗝𝗼𝘀𝗵 want love to be enough, both come with 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐛𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐚𝐠𝐞 that must be dealt with 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗹𝘆 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿.
ೃ⁀➷𝑰 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒗𝒆 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒚. 𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕’𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒏𝒐𝒘..."
So, I was really looking forward to this book. I absolutely loved 𝗘𝗱𝗲𝗻 and 𝗝𝗼𝘀𝗵 in the first book, but this one felt different. 𝗘𝗱𝗲𝗻 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗺𝗲, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗝𝗼𝘀𝗵 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻’𝘁 and it really disappointed me.
As a character, 𝗝𝗼𝘀𝗵 was always 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴. I get how learning 𝗘𝗱𝗲𝗻’s secret could change him, but he was 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗿𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝘂𝗹𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗲 .
With the plot, I felt like 🅝🅞🅣🅗🅘🅝🅖 🅡🅔🅐🅛🅛🅨 🅗🅐🅟🅟🅔🅝🅔🅓 in the novel. Sure, we get 𝗝𝗼𝘀𝗵 and 𝗘𝗱𝗲𝗻 as they work out their relationship. 𝗦𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗲 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗮 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗞𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗻 But all in all? Nothing really happens, so it was a slow read.
One thing that I found ꜱᴜᴘᴇʀ ᴘᴏᴡᴇʀꜰᴜʟ is 𝓔𝓭𝓮𝓷’𝓼 𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓹𝓸𝓷𝓼𝓮 to the question if she had ever said “no.” It really hit me that when people ask sexual assault survivors if they had ever said no, they are not even considering that the rapist asked the question in the first place. 𝗘𝗱𝗲𝗻 repeated over again that Kevin had never asked the question for her to even say no to. It made me stop and rethink everything. 𝐎𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭
.ೃ⁀➷𝑰𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆, 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒆𝒍𝒔𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒍𝒕 𝒔𝒐 𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒚..."
~~> 4🌟
Changing my rating cuz I can't stop thinking about Josh these days idk why ..
𝗘𝗱𝗲𝗻 is learning how 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗹𝘆 𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗹𝗼𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿.. In counseling, she’s working to understand who she is now, while also maintaining relationships with friends who don’t know what happened and family members who are dealing with guilt and anger in their own ways. Others’ reactions often leave 𝗘𝗱𝗲𝗻 feeling like her honesty was more burdensome than helpful.
She awaits the trial and reconnects with 𝗝𝗼𝘀𝗵, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒐𝒚 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏’𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 and the only person outside her family who knew the truth.
While 𝗘𝗱𝗲𝗻 and 𝗝𝗼𝘀𝗵 want love to be enough, both come with 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐛𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐚𝐠𝐞 that must be dealt with 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗹𝘆 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿.
ೃ⁀➷𝑰 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒗𝒆 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒚. 𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕’𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒏𝒐𝒘..."
So, I was really looking forward to this book. I absolutely loved 𝗘𝗱𝗲𝗻 and 𝗝𝗼𝘀𝗵 in the first book, but this one felt different. 𝗘𝗱𝗲𝗻 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗺𝗲, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗝𝗼𝘀𝗵 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻’𝘁 and it really disappointed me.
As a character, 𝗝𝗼𝘀𝗵 was always 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴. I get how learning 𝗘𝗱𝗲𝗻’s secret could change him, but he was 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗿𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝘂𝗹𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗲 .
With the plot, I felt like 🅝🅞🅣🅗🅘🅝🅖 🅡🅔🅐🅛🅛🅨 🅗🅐🅟🅟🅔🅝🅔🅓 in the novel. Sure, we get 𝗝𝗼𝘀𝗵 and 𝗘𝗱𝗲𝗻 as they work out their relationship. 𝗦𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗲 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗮 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗞𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗻 But all in all? Nothing really happens, so it was a slow read.
One thing that I found ꜱᴜᴘᴇʀ ᴘᴏᴡᴇʀꜰᴜʟ is 𝓔𝓭𝓮𝓷’𝓼 𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓹𝓸𝓷𝓼𝓮 to the question if she had ever said “no.” It really hit me that when people ask sexual assault survivors if they had ever said no, they are not even considering that the rapist asked the question in the first place. 𝗘𝗱𝗲𝗻 repeated over again that Kevin had never asked the question for her to even say no to. It made me stop and rethink everything. 𝐎𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭
.ೃ⁀➷𝑰𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆, 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒆𝒍𝒔𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒍𝒕 𝒔𝒐 𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒚..."
April 4, 2024
➳ 3.5 ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚
╰┈➤ ”all you have to do is act like you’re normal and okay, and people start treating you that way”
this was marketed (to me at least) as a eden healing and repairing her relationships and also was supposed to provide a satisfying ending to the not-ending of the last book …
… and yeah this was none of that
i mean i enjoyed spending time with the characters more and josh + eden were cute but development where? literally nothing happens until the last 15% of the book and the third act breakup/confiict was so useless and for what ✋😭
the timing and pacing just felt really off and not very well planned out yk?
also this book made me MAD like so did the first one but like some of the stuff that was said in regards to the trial and stuff made me want to chuck my phone (i listened to this on audio). like it’s not the authors fault but some characters were just 🤮🤧
anyways, i’m glad i read this and it was enjoyable but like it wasn’t as satisfying as i would have liked it to be 🫶
୧ ‧₊˚ 🍓 ⋅ ☆
╰┈➤ ”all you have to do is act like you’re normal and okay, and people start treating you that way”
this was marketed (to me at least) as a eden healing and repairing her relationships and also was supposed to provide a satisfying ending to the not-ending of the last book …
… and yeah this was none of that
i mean i enjoyed spending time with the characters more and josh + eden were cute but development where? literally nothing happens until the last 15% of the book and the third act breakup/confiict was so useless and for what ✋😭
the timing and pacing just felt really off and not very well planned out yk?
also this book made me MAD like so did the first one but like some of the stuff that was said in regards to the trial and stuff made me want to chuck my phone (i listened to this on audio). like it’s not the authors fault but some characters were just 🤮🤧
anyways, i’m glad i read this and it was enjoyable but like it wasn’t as satisfying as i would have liked it to be 🫶
୧ ‧₊˚ 🍓 ⋅ ☆
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