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Loving Someone in Recovery: The Answers You Need When Your Partner Is Recovering from Addiction
Recovering addicts are faced with many challenges, and these challenges can often extend to their romantic partners. During the recovery period, couples often struggle with overcoming feelings of betrayal and frustration, and may have a hard time rebuilding trust and closeness. While there are many resources available to recovering addicts, there are limited resources for the people who love them.
In Loving Someone in Recovery, therapist Beverly Berg offers powerful tools for the partners of recovering addicts. Based in mindfulness, attachment theory, and neurobiology, this book will help readers sustain emotional stability in their relationships, increase effective communication, establish boundaries, and take real steps toward reigniting intimacy.
The material in this book is drawn from the author’s successful Conscious Couples Recovery Workshop. With more than 25 years in the field, she has developed a unique set of exercises that address the issues faced by couples in recovery. This book addresses the roles that both partners play in recovery, and aims to help readers develop a new appreciation for one another and improve self-confidence and acceptance.
The road to recovery is never an easy one, but by building a strong support system, the chances of success are exponentially greater. For more information on Berg’s work, visit consciouscouplesrecovery.com
In Loving Someone in Recovery, therapist Beverly Berg offers powerful tools for the partners of recovering addicts. Based in mindfulness, attachment theory, and neurobiology, this book will help readers sustain emotional stability in their relationships, increase effective communication, establish boundaries, and take real steps toward reigniting intimacy.
The material in this book is drawn from the author’s successful Conscious Couples Recovery Workshop. With more than 25 years in the field, she has developed a unique set of exercises that address the issues faced by couples in recovery. This book addresses the roles that both partners play in recovery, and aims to help readers develop a new appreciation for one another and improve self-confidence and acceptance.
The road to recovery is never an easy one, but by building a strong support system, the chances of success are exponentially greater. For more information on Berg’s work, visit consciouscouplesrecovery.com
233 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2014
103 people are currently reading
366 people want to read
About the author
Beverly Berg
1 book9 followersI have been deeply entrenched in the dual worlds of mental health and recovery addiction since 1982. I know that every recovering couple goes through dark times. I also know that no matter how bad it ever gets in the experience of being in a recovering couple, if one has a willing heart and an open mind, great change is possible.
There really is nothing harder than trying to get along day in and day out with the same person, especially when addiction and codependency have been in the mix. It isn't because people are damaged, sick, or bad. It's just the nature of the beast.
Long term partnership is hard, takes work, and strengthens emotional muscles you may never have known you had. I understand the pain and suffering of addiction as well as codependency. After 30 years in recovery, I can say with confidence that health and healing are possible for those who are honest with themselves, and will brave letting someone witness the dark truths that can feel impossible to share. It starts with reaching out to just one person.
I am passionately interested in what it takes to bring wholeness and renewed hope to the patients I work with. And, I feel incredibly grateful for being entrusted to walk hand in hand with each and every one of them. My personal happiness depends on connecting with others, being of service to others, playing the piano, petting my dog, doing Crossfit, kissing my husband, and watching way too much television (yes, TV is one of my guilty pleasures).
There really is nothing harder than trying to get along day in and day out with the same person, especially when addiction and codependency have been in the mix. It isn't because people are damaged, sick, or bad. It's just the nature of the beast.
Long term partnership is hard, takes work, and strengthens emotional muscles you may never have known you had. I understand the pain and suffering of addiction as well as codependency. After 30 years in recovery, I can say with confidence that health and healing are possible for those who are honest with themselves, and will brave letting someone witness the dark truths that can feel impossible to share. It starts with reaching out to just one person.
I am passionately interested in what it takes to bring wholeness and renewed hope to the patients I work with. And, I feel incredibly grateful for being entrusted to walk hand in hand with each and every one of them. My personal happiness depends on connecting with others, being of service to others, playing the piano, petting my dog, doing Crossfit, kissing my husband, and watching way too much television (yes, TV is one of my guilty pleasures).
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
February 28, 2014
I received this book in exchange for an honest review.
When I entered the Goodreads contest for this particular book, it was not for myself, but for my sister. My sister (and I) is the daughter of prescription drug abuser. She herself is a "functional addict" to low level prescription drugs. When her substance abusive husband died a year ago, leaving her with six children all before the she turned 30, I thought this could be a new start for her. I was not prepared for her to be engaged to another user within months. Or the roller coaster than ensued soon afterward. Both are currently trying to turn their lives around, and I thought this book would be a great step in helping her along that path.
What I didn't expect was that it would help me to learn to better interact with all those involved. I didn't expect to fee the need to forgive, or to love more and judge less, but most importantly, how to bread the codependent behavior my mother and sister have with me, which I have allowed.
With the help of this book, I feel better prepared to build better boundaries, with love hopefully while still having a relationship with them.
Anyone who has a family member that suffers from addictions can learn a thing or two from this book.
When I entered the Goodreads contest for this particular book, it was not for myself, but for my sister. My sister (and I) is the daughter of prescription drug abuser. She herself is a "functional addict" to low level prescription drugs. When her substance abusive husband died a year ago, leaving her with six children all before the she turned 30, I thought this could be a new start for her. I was not prepared for her to be engaged to another user within months. Or the roller coaster than ensued soon afterward. Both are currently trying to turn their lives around, and I thought this book would be a great step in helping her along that path.
What I didn't expect was that it would help me to learn to better interact with all those involved. I didn't expect to fee the need to forgive, or to love more and judge less, but most importantly, how to bread the codependent behavior my mother and sister have with me, which I have allowed.
With the help of this book, I feel better prepared to build better boundaries, with love hopefully while still having a relationship with them.
Anyone who has a family member that suffers from addictions can learn a thing or two from this book.
July 20, 2016
Such a well-written book that provides so much comfort and insight.
September 9, 2016
Having walked the road of loving someone with addictions, I know that there are few books out there (at least at our network of libraries) that cover this topic in a way that this book does. This was very well written and provided me with a wonderful resource and tools to help me in my personal journey, that also affects countless people we know.
* Thank you for the copy to review via Netgalley! *
* Thank you for the copy to review via Netgalley! *
July 11, 2021
I know this might be a long shot. I’m on page 54 and talking about the scenario with Jason and Kim. How one is hyper-negative and hyper.positive. My question is will it still work out if they were both hyper negative? I am putting my relationship in it as I circled for both of us as hypernegative? I also think maybe that’s why we do fight because of our past. I love this book so far. It seriously has me thinking about my own life. I’m discovering myself to and how to manage everything.
August 12, 2016
I won this book in Goodreads and was happy that I did because someone close to me is recovering from years of addiction. This book helped an was also a little funny at times. I liked it more then I thought I would. It was not preachy and boring. It was a good and helpful read.
May 14, 2014
The title seemed perfect, and the focus on mindfulness was exactly what I was looking for. However, the tone was just too much. If I want to have someone else tell me what I think, I can call my mom.
December 26, 2020
This book is really good in that it has a lot of exercises and thinking experiments. A lot of the focus is on meditation and being present in the moment. It took me a long while to get through, partly because of this and partly because the book weren't fully applicable to my situation.
Overall, I would definitely recommend however.
Overall, I would definitely recommend however.
December 12, 2018
Beverly Berg does an excellent job of identifying the codependency of partners of those in recovery. Using mindfulness tools and techniques, Berg challenges you to examine who you are, what you need in a relationship and how to love and support your partner without sacrificing yourself.
September 16, 2021
The book offered a lot of suggestions and exercises. I was hoping for more information on the anticipated behavior of a newly recovering alcoholic once out of rehab. The audio book narrator sounded like a robot and that was a distraction.
August 9, 2022
It's a simple and easy to understand book on the concept of codependency. It also says about the stages of recovery for codependent. An entry level book to recommend for anyone who wants to understand codependency.
May 3, 2018
Not what I was expecting, but this book gives good advice.
November 20, 2024
eye opening
It greatly helped me reevaluate some of my own faults that I thought I had already worked through. The meditation helped with getting myself to relax a little bit.
It greatly helped me reevaluate some of my own faults that I thought I had already worked through. The meditation helped with getting myself to relax a little bit.
February 8, 2022
Useful for any couple looking to improve their connectedness
Loving Someone In Recovery has some useful ideas for any couple wanting to improve their connectedness, but especially for couples where one partner is recovering from addiction.
I liked that she has a lot of ideas around mindfulness and using that practice to improve your relationship.
I didn’t like her overuse of mindfulness though. Felt like there were a million different mindfulness meditations to do, which was overwhelming and frankly felt like a bit too much.
Loving Someone In Recovery has some useful ideas for any couple wanting to improve their connectedness, but especially for couples where one partner is recovering from addiction.
I liked that she has a lot of ideas around mindfulness and using that practice to improve your relationship.
I didn’t like her overuse of mindfulness though. Felt like there were a million different mindfulness meditations to do, which was overwhelming and frankly felt like a bit too much.
May 21, 2015
Very helpful.
My husband and I have been in a co-dependent relationship for many years. It sort of just snuck up on us with alcoholism progressing slowly and then very quickly. This book has helped me understand my role in keeping the status quo and allowing the addiction to keep progressing. I'm hopeful that with help such as this book we'll finally "get" what recovery is all about.
My husband and I have been in a co-dependent relationship for many years. It sort of just snuck up on us with alcoholism progressing slowly and then very quickly. This book has helped me understand my role in keeping the status quo and allowing the addiction to keep progressing. I'm hopeful that with help such as this book we'll finally "get" what recovery is all about.
October 27, 2017
Journey to a Healthier Relationship
This book offers advice, coping tools, questions to help discover. It's a great read to help you get on the journey to a healthier relationship.
This book offers advice, coping tools, questions to help discover. It's a great read to help you get on the journey to a healthier relationship.
January 3, 2015
This is a good book for people whose partner or loved one is in recovery. This was written by a psychotherapist who really knows her stuff.
March 31, 2017
I'm not one who usually writes book reviews, but Dr. Berg's book is worth taking the time to write about! I don't come from a family that struggles with addiction or alcoholism, but I have many friends who do. I wanted to be able to offer an educational self-help book to the friends I have who I know have partners in recovery, and after much searching, I found “Loving Someone in Recovery”. Berg’s writing is so personable and warm that she gives you the feeling that she knows you, understands you, and cares about you. Each exercise you use from this book is useful, whether you are in a recovering couple, or not. I started doing the mindful meditation exercises and honestly, after just a few short weeks, I feel calmer, more grounded, and way less reactive in a general sense. My husband has even noticed how peaceful I seem! My advice to anyone wondering if this is the book for them, I can tell you it is!
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews