Party of One: Be Your Own Best Life Partner

by Meghan Keane, LA Johnson (illustrator)

A warm, witty, and affirming self-help guide to learning how to get to know and love yourself, becoming your own soulmate, and living a fulfilling life whether you partner or not, from the creator of NPR’s Life Kit.

Meghan Keane spent most of her adult life without being in a serious, long-term relationship, and for much of that time, being single wasn’t something she celebrated or particularly enjoyed. Sick of feeling anxious or sad when she received yet another wedding invitation without a plus one, she decided she was going to mindfully shift her perspective. Luckily, Meghan is the founder of NPR’s self-improvement brand, Life Kit, so she consulted the experts, and what she learned changed her mindset—and her life.

Party of One is the self-help book Meghan wished she’d had from the start—a deeply researched, encouraging guide to bridging the gap between knowing that being single is awesome and feeling and embodying it. Inside, you’ll find practical advice for strengthening your self-compassion and inner resilience, practices for stopping rumination cycles, scripts for dealing with nosy friends and relatives, thoughtful prompts to support you on your journey, and much more. With vibrant illustrations from artist LA Johnson and Meghan as your relatable guide, Party of One will help you learn to love your own company, regardless of your relationship status, and become your own best life partner.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Audiobook, Psychology, Relationships

256 pages, Hardcover

Published October 8, 2024

Reviews

[Lilly · Rating 5 out of 5]

My new bible.
I want everyone in my life to read/listen to this.
This author was able to put into words what I am always trying to explain to people. Our society puts a lot of pressure on romantic love and the result is that those who are single are often pitied and infanticized which often gives someone who is single a lot of self shame.
For a while I have been slowly shifting my perspective in that being single is not “something I am doing wrong” but a lifestyle I can embrace and be proud of. This book validated the work I have been putting in and I’m really thankful for that.
Being single does not equal loneliness and in fact, the opposite can be true when you embrace your present.
She gives a lot of advice on how to manage the emotions that come with this and ways you can enrich a life of singledom, in more ways than just biding your time until you accomplish society’s top tier of relationships, but rather centering yourself as enough and getting to the answers of “who do you really want to be”

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

When in doubt about love (or anything, really), stop ruminating, explore your interests, be a friend. It's so sensible, but sometimes you need a warm, funny friend to help you get there. Meghan's been that friend for me for many years, and now that she's written a book, she's yours too. LA's illustrations are the perfect companion to the writing - both are so lively, lovely, clever. A work of art that I'll keep returning to. 💖🪩

[Joy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I struggled a lot with this book, but am giving it 4 stars because it exists and because it will likely be really helpful to people in the demographic she’s targeting (30- or 40-somethings who are single).

That said, I struggled a lot with this, because I didn’t think it brought anything new to the topic. In fact, I thought Taitz’s 2018 book, How to be Single and Happy is essentially a better version of this book. So I didn’t feel like I was hearing anything new. In fact, the first 2 chapters of this book really just summarize 3 other books that I’d already read (Taitz, dePaulo’s Singled Out, and Sara Eckel’s It’s Not You.) The later chapters covered other books/research I’d already read, like Sonia Lyubomirsky’s work on happiness.

If you were to ask me what the best self-help style book on singleness is, I’d suggest Taitz’s How to be Single and Happy. And I’d also highly, highly recommend Sara Eckel’s It’s Not You, with a bonus helping of Amir Levine’s Attached. (Quite frankly, I was surprised that this book didn’t also summarize Amir Levine’s book on attachment because it would have fit in well when she briefly talks about attachment.)

But that said, this is a shorter version (I think) of all of those, so I still appreciate that this book exists and am hopeful it will help a bunch of people.

(As a PS I have to note that I found the audio version of this very difficult, because it is delivered in a sing-song intonation where every other sentence sounds like a question. As a Gen Xer, it was hard to listen to. But as noted above, I’m quite sure I wasn’t the intended age demographic.)

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

All the stars. Witty, informative, and funny. Makes you feel good about yourself and good life advice.

[Alli · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my bible.

[Sushila · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m a fan of NPR’s Life Kit and I heard an interview with Meghan Keane about this book. I’m really glad I read it! Yes, Party of One is about being single, but I think it is more about being a whole person. There’s a lot of evidence-based advice that could be found in a myriad of Life-kit episodes, presented in an affirming, digestible manner. The illustrations are amazing (they are more than side-doodles). I think this could be a book for anyone — it helps frame a more humanistic, interconnected world.

[Esther]

1) I’m crushing it 2) still trying to up my library of potentially useful books on sex n relationships. Maybe I was hoping for something else, but a little annoyed by all the therapy coded chapters like kinda wish a book about embracing singledom didn’t include disputing negative cognitions

[Julie Shuff · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved the beginning, with the statistics on marriage and relationships in the US, and loved the ending with the focus on nurturing friendships.

The middle part was a bit self helpy for me, and I am a person who is comfortable dining/traveling/ organizing hangouts on my own (a year abroad in a remote town will make you really comfortable with yourself, really quickly). However, if you were someone facing more familial or self imposed pressure to be in a relationship, I could see how it could be a good starting point.

There are a lot of societal pressures though that I’ve experienced (the older sibling getting the air mattress on a family getaway, since my younger brother and his girlfriend “deserved” the bed) and so I felt very seen/liked learning about amatonormativity.

[Aletha · Rating 3 out of 5]

As someone who has centered their life with a nontraditional family unit and come to terms with my life being nontraditional and loving it…I found some of the points and discussions in this book to be validating and refreshing. I do think we should explore and normalize more friends raising kids and buying houses and doing life together. I know the norm will always be romantic partnerships, and in that heterosexual married ones, but there are so many ways to contribute to a happy life and healthy relationships and sometimes the choices people make because they feel they have to be “normal” end up being toxic, unhealthy, and unsafe. Not a super riveting book, but a nice listen.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

You don’t need to be single to enjoy this book. I appreciated the sections about being single so that I could be aware of how I treat my single friends, but I also found that a lot of the wisdom here applies to everyone. I particularly enjoyed the chapters on enjoying your alone time, managing tough emotions, and creating and maintaining strong connections with friends and your community.

[Olivia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Readable and brief, this book has lovely illustrations and very actionable steps towards building the life you want while accepting the life you have.

[Sarah Cupitt · Rating 3 out of 5]

just wanted to read in case there were any new points I wasn't aware of - actually had some really good takes - 3/5 because it wasn't as generic as i expected

notes:
- It starts off as a gentle nudge, suggesting that love and marriage are the keys to happiness. Over time, this pressure builds up, making single life feel somehow incomplete.
- Keane speaks from her perspective as a straight white woman (i found this oddly amusing for some reason that it was required to have that pointed out)
- The romantic ideal we know today only took shape in the nineteenth century, with authors like Jane Austen capturing this shift in novels such as Pride and Prejudice. Even then, love-based unions were more about economic independence than emotional connection.
- The mid-twentieth century ideal of marriage – featuring a male breadwinner and a homemaker – was shaped by post-war prosperity and tax policies that incentivized single-income families, rather than being rooted in universal tradition.
- These romanticized ideas of marriage are reinforced by fairy tales and modern media.
- Modern marriages now face even greater pressures. You’re told a partner should meet all your emotional needs and drive your personal growth. This “all or nothing” model often leads to disappointment – after all, one person can’t possibly fulfill every role in someone’s life.
- Romantic love isn’t the only – or even the best – form of connection.
- singleness isn’t a flaw
- When you embrace your life as it is, you stop running after someone else’s definition of happiness and start enjoying your own.
- moments of crisis can be a catalyst for change
- as time passes, life’s natural shifts can affect how friendships look and feel.

quotes:
- “When someone asks “Do you have a family?” at a dinner party, they don’t mean “Do you have any siblings? Found family? A mother you care for?” No. They mean: “Do you have kids and are you married?” Sure, it’s framed as polite conversation. But the assumption is telling about what our culture finds to be normal and acceptable.”
- “Studies show that singles are more likely to have broader social groups—meaning they often have more friends and are more likely to contact and receive help from family than those who are married.”

[Emily Lang · Rating 5 out of 5]

A nice short intro to solo/single life.

[Laura Hernandez]

Amatonormativity. Google it.

[Jung · Rating 5 out of 5]

Modern society often pressures individuals to seek romantic relationships, perpetuating the notion that being partnered is synonymous with happiness and fulfillment. Meghan Keane refers to this phenomenon as a “haze”—a pervasive, subtle force shaping how we view ourselves and others. This haze creates unrealistic expectations, leaving single people feeling incomplete or less worthy. The intensity of this societal pressure varies by identity, culture, and background, but its core remains the same: to conform to a specific relationship ideal. Keane, writing from her perspective as a straight white woman, acknowledges that her experience might differ from others, but the universal pressure to couple up resonates widely. In this book, she dismantles these myths, inviting readers to redefine happiness on their own terms and embrace the richness of singlehood.

Romantic love and marriage hold a peculiar grip on our collective imagination, largely shaped by cultural narratives and historical shifts. Contrary to today’s ideals, marriage was historically a practical institution rooted in property, alliances, and social survival. Romantic love became central to marriage only in the 19th century, with writers like Jane Austen celebrating emotional connection while still reflecting the economic stakes involved. The mid-20th century’s “traditional” nuclear family, with rigid gender roles, arose from economic policies and societal conditions rather than timeless values. These romanticized images of love, reinforced by media, often suggest that one’s worth is tied to being chosen by a partner, sidelining other meaningful relationships.

Modern marriage faces heightened expectations, as partners are expected to fulfill every emotional need, an unrealistic “all-or-nothing” model that often leads to disappointment. Keane emphasizes that romantic love is not the only—or necessarily the best—source of connection. Deep friendships, familial ties, and community relationships can provide equally profound meaning. Society’s elevation of romantic relationships above all others, known as amatonormativity, often limits how we see fulfillment. By questioning these norms, individuals can prioritize connections that genuinely enrich their lives, whether or not they fit conventional molds.

The pursuit of happiness, Keane argues, often feels like running on a treadmill. Social pressures promise rewards for coupling up but simultaneously shame those who remain single. Yet studies show single people frequently cultivate broader social networks and community ties, deriving fulfillment from diverse sources. True happiness stems not from relationship status but from engaging meaningfully with life. Gratitude is a powerful tool for shifting focus away from societal expectations and toward personal joy. Simple practices, like listing things you’re thankful for or reframing negative beliefs about yourself, can transform how you see your life.

Keane highlights the distinction between loneliness and solitude. While loneliness signals a need for connection, solitude offers opportunities for reflection, creativity, and self-awareness. Practices like writing morning pages—stream-of-consciousness journaling done upon waking—or scheduling “artist dates” to pursue joyful, creative activities help individuals connect with themselves. These practices cultivate a sense of self-worth and remind individuals that singlehood is not a flaw but an opportunity to build a life aligned with personal values.

Breaking free from negative thought loops and overthinking is essential for embracing an authentic life. Overthinking often masquerades as problem-solving but tends to exacerbate anxiety and emotional exhaustion. Keane recommends becoming aware of these patterns and disrupting them with engaging activities or by shifting focus. Asking actionable questions—like “What step can I take now?”—redirects energy from circular thinking to practical solutions. Writing down thoughts can clarify patterns, while talking to trusted confidants provides perspective and emotional release.

Self-compassion is crucial in this process. Instead of judging yourself for negative thoughts, approach them with curiosity and kindness. Simple grounding techniques, like breathing exercises or focusing on sensory details, help reestablish balance. These practices remind individuals that thoughts are temporary and do not define reality. By developing mental clarity, individuals can channel their energy into building lives that reflect their values rather than societal expectations.

Keane shares how her journey toward authenticity began during the disruptions of the COVID-19 pandemic. Living with her mother, grappling with a halted dating life, and experiencing a moment of frustration, she realized her relentless pursuit of partnership was unsustainable. This crisis led to a pivotal shift: she stopped chasing societal ideals and started creating a life rooted in her own priorities. Such moments of disruption, though uncomfortable, can catalyze profound growth.

Acceptance is the foundation of an authentic life. Embracing life as it is—rather than as you wish it to be—fosters clarity and peace. From this perspective, even small actions, like savoring a morning walk or pursuing creative hobbies, add richness to daily life. These habits build a stable foundation for larger changes, including financial independence. Taking control of finances, whether by saving, reducing debt, or planning for the future, provides the freedom to make choices aligned with personal goals rather than societal norms.

With this stability, life becomes less about external validation and more about exploring intrinsic desires. Decisions about travel, creative projects, or family planning reflect values rather than expectations. By focusing on what brings genuine fulfillment, individuals become the authors of their own stories, embracing opportunities to craft lives that feel true to their aspirations.

Emotions, often seen as obstacles, hold valuable lessons about needs and priorities. Keane encourages readers to work with their emotions instead of avoiding them. Observing feelings without judgment allows individuals to uncover their underlying messages. Grounding techniques, like focusing on the senses or practicing mindfulness during routine activities, help manage intense emotions. These practices create space for thoughtful responses, fostering emotional awareness and resilience.

This emotional awareness extends to building intentional relationships. Friendships, often overlooked in discussions of fulfillment, play a crucial role in creating a meaningful life. Keane emphasizes the importance of nurturing friendships through active engagement, such as making clear plans, establishing traditions, and adapting to life’s changes. While careers, families, or other commitments may alter the dynamics of friendships, flexibility and communication can preserve these bonds.

Friendship-based support systems, like shared living arrangements or collaborative caregiving, challenge conventional ideas about family and companionship. These intentional relationships demonstrate that fulfillment comes from connection and mutual care, regardless of whether they fit traditional molds. By prioritizing these bonds, individuals create a stable and joyful foundation for their lives.

Ultimately, "Party of One" invites readers to let go of societal narratives about happiness and embrace the possibilities of singlehood. Romantic love, while valuable, is only one of many paths to a fulfilling life. By focusing on gratitude, self-awareness, and meaningful connections, individuals can build lives that reflect their true values. Each day presents an opportunity to make small, intentional choices that lead to joy and genuine connection. Through these choices, individuals reclaim the freedom to live authentically, finding happiness not in conforming to expectations but in honoring their unique journeys.

[Yurie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Lightweight read. I am a woman who was single from 21 years old to 31 years old and have read many books, read many real-life stories on being single, I work in law and have handled a number of domestic violence cases, as well as having developed my own notions, rules, values and techniques in truly making the most out of my singledom, and this book had the least amount of depth out of all the media that I have come across. The author writes purely from her view and this book has no quality of multiple voices or a plunge into the actual agonizing pain that many modern women face. This book stays on the surface as much as a pop psychology TikTok. If you're a woman who has never even thought about singledom or have not read a single book on the patriarchy, feminism, longevity and mental health, this may be a gentle curiosity opener for you, but if you're a person well-read in non-fiction, this book will give you nothing new. It's a short read and I kept waiting for the author to give me something deep, that's how I came to finish the book, waiting and waiting and finishing unsatisfied and unquenched.

[Heather Sliwinski · Rating 4 out of 5]

My neck is sore from nodding along with every sentiment in this book! While this book is probably better for those who are new to embracing their singlehood, Party of One helps unpack the destructive thinking around being single and reframe your attitudes around a single life. As someone who has done therapy, there are lots of great reminders on how to deal with your emotions in a healthy way. The author doesn’t just tell you not to be sad. She allows you to feel your feelings but also offers alternatives to waiting around for a partner to live your best life. Highly recommend to anyone struggling with being single, and pairs well with the Single Serving podcast.

Thanks to NetGalley and Chronicle Books for this ARC.

[Chella]

NOT A REVIEW.
These are just bits I highlighted while reading and want to be able to look over again should I so desire.

- DePaulo [a social scientist] mentions that she's often heard that nothing is lonelier than being with someone who makes you feel alone.

- When you want to ask a "why" question, try flipping it into a "what" instead.

PRACTICE:
- Catch yourself when you start to ruminate. Think to yourself, "I notice that I'm starting to ruminate."
- Track your ruminations. Pinpoint what sets it off and note your behavior when it gets going.
- Convert "why me?" thoughts into "what can I do?" thoughts. What are three actionable steps you can take to help you move toward your goals?
- Practice temporal distancing. Are you going to care about this in a month? A year? Have you gotten through moments like this before?
- Try practicing curiosity when met with an anxiety trigger.

LEARNING THE NEW ABCS
A: Accumulating positives (do something every day that gives you a sense of joy or pleasure)
B: Building mastery (do something that gives you a sense of accomplishment)
C: Coping ahead (imagine a potentially challenging future scenario and then visualize yourself doing well in that moment)

HOBBIES: A FEW APPROACHES TO TRY:
- If you already have a hobby you love, make time for it. Schedule it in your calendar and honor that time.
- Try having a solo hobby and a group hobby. Making your own clothes might mean focusing over a sewing machine by yourself for hours, but also try a monthly meetup for vintage lovers. That way, you can practice your skill on your own time and also share your passion with like-minded others.
- Find identity-based communities within your hobby of choice. Identity-based groups can feel safer to explore and even more enjoyable.
- Try a hobby you've always wanted to do but never had the time for. Maybe it's a beginners' class in pottery or a community environmentalist walk. Commit to trying a few interests and then see which ones make you feel the most alive.
- Remove pressure to be good at the hobby. You're never going to be a master on the first try. Ask others for help. Seek inspiration.

"Goals are the things that you do, values are the way you do them." -Dr. Pooja Lakshmin

VALUE INVENTORY:
- What matters to you right now?
- Of those values, what matters most to you? How would you rank them?
- How often do these values guide your behavior?

"Even when it feels impossible to remember, it's helpful to know that emotions are actually more like messengers with useful information."

TIPS to dial down emotional intensity and get back into the present moment, even when your brain isn't being helpful:
- Engage your five senses.
- Cold therapy.
- Deep breathing.
(Box breathing, exhaling for longer than your inhale, counting to ten, etc.)
- Healthy distractions. (Yes: listening to music, knitting, coloring, cooking. No: alcohol.)
- MOVE. Walk, dance, stretch...

"It's possible to try all these techniques and still feel like shit."

Megan Watson said, "You're not just on this earth to constantly be optimized for positivity. You're not here to constantly be in a state of joy."

THREE MAIN TENETS OF SELF-COMPASSION:
1. Self-kindness ("It's okay to feel down sometimes.")
2. Common humanity ("Other people feel bad sometimes, too - I'm not the only one.")
3. Mindfulness ("I notice I am feeling sad. I feel it in my chest.")

I need to remember this stuff. Heck, even writing down the chapter titles could be helpful.
1. Demystifying Romantic Love and Marriage
2. Shed the Stigma and Enjoy Yourself
3. Living Inside Your Own Head
4. Building a Life You Love
5. Managing Emotions and Being Okay (Even When You Are Not)
6. Intentional Friendships and Building Community

[Bookworm · Rating 3 out of 5]

Saw this at the library and decided to pick it up out of curiosity. I've never really understood why some people are often so unhappy being alone and must be in a relationship, although I'm not one of them. All the same, I was curious to see what this book might teach me.

Keane, who also currently heads NPR's Life Kit, which gives listeners advice about various topics, goes through what it means to be single. The myths, the science, how you can go about being happy in your singleness, why it's okay not to be in a relationship, etc.

I think overall there is not a lot there is new to this. If you've read self-help books, if you've read dating advice columns, if you've ever known people who have had to struggle with relationships and breakups and need something to fill the time, etc. a lot of this will likely seem very familiar. I think what is probably most unique is the packaging and more of a quick guide.

Most useful for someone who maybe must be serially in relationships, someone who has gotten out of a long term relationship or anyone who really needs validation of why it is okay to be alone and how to go about finding happiness and fulfillment being alone/single, etc. That is not to say that you can't get anything out of this if you're partnered (if you've got a friend or relative who is going through a breakup, this might give you ideas for advice but this is not that type of book).

Borrowed from the library and that was best for me but I can definitely see this as a gift for the right person. Be warned, though, that there is a pretty good chance they have come across the material in this book if they follow any sort of dating/relationship type of blog/social media/podcast, etc.

[Brooke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Society would have you think that there is no way that you could possibly be single ... and happy?! However, talk to single women here, there, and everywhere, and you will find that not only are single women happy, they are thriving - growing, exploring, and achieving in leaps and bounds that, frankly, may not have been possible had they chosen another life. As a woman who is single by choice, I have never looked back on my decision to not legally entangle myself with another person; however, it can be difficult to find like-minded people who are standing in their truth. Single women are often painted with a broad brush, and little attention is seriously given to the specific obstacles that women who do not have a life partner face.

Enter Meghan Keane, with her singles' self-help guide, Party of One. Party of One affirms the single woman's journey, whether by choice or circumstance, providing compassionate support and understanding to the singles' unique path and plight. This is the first book that I have read that gave kind and specific focus and empathy to what it means to be a single woman in today's couple-driven society. Thoughtfully-written and affirming, Party of One helps singles navigate this season of their life with wisdom and grace.

More of an "I see you" sort of guide than one with actionable steps and solutions, reading of Party of One is like sitting down and having a meaningful conversation with that one person who gets you.

[Nandita Damaraju · Rating 4 out of 5]

This might read more like a diary entry than a book review, but I was at the peak of my frustration with singlehood when this book caught my eye while I was wandering alone through a bookstore. Party of One isn’t revolutionary. It doesn’t present ideas I haven’t heard before in some form. The usual messages are there: be yourself, love yourself, embrace your life as it is. But despite that familiarity, reading it felt incredibly validating, like the author was talking to me, about me, writing about situations and contexts I was very very familiar with, like nosy relatives or being surrounded by coupled friends. The writing is funny and witty and is interspersed with a lot of references and research.

The book didn’t just reaffirm what I already knew. It gave me new perspectives and small but meaningful ideas to break out of the spiral of singlehood and stop centering life around the pursuit of a partner. Not that I do or did that anyway, but the book reinforced the idea that I don’t need to. It acknowledges that being single can be hard. But it also reminds you that singlehood is not a problem to be solved.

It’s sometimes good to have these reminders, especially around the holidays which is when I read this book. Coupled folks can also read this book if they want to understand their single friends better 😇

[J Kromrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for this eARC.

“Party of One” is a warm, witty, and affirming self-help guide that invites you to embrace your own company, regardless of your current relationship status.

Authored by Meghan Keane, the creator of NPR’s Life Kit, this book is a beacon of encouragement for those seeking to become their own soulmate (an excellent goal for us - regardless of our relationship status)

Keane’s journey from feeling anxious about being single to celebrating her independence is relatable and inspiring (I also found this book exciting and self-affirming)!🌹💕

Drawing on expert advice, the author offers practical tools for strengthening self-compassion, halting rumination cycles, and navigating nosy friends and relatives. The vibrant illustrations by LA Johnson add an extra layer of charm.

Whether you’re partnered or flying solo, “Party of One” empowers you to love yourself fully and to live a fulfilling life.

This story is a delightful reminder that being your own best life partner is a celebration, not a compromise. 🌟🌿

[Zuz reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

An easy to read self help book around being single. I was most interested in the intro discussing the omnipresent bias towards romantic love and partnership our current culture has. I always find it interesting to think about some of the ubiquitous parts of our culture that are easy to take for granted. Interesting to ponder the many ways that this pro romantic love bias is expressed, how it affects everyone (those that don't find romantic partners and those that do but suffer due to expectation/reality mismatches), and the alternative way reality would be shaped without that bias.

After that intro there are fairly basic discussions around self love, mindfulness, positive psychology, emotional management and the importance of friendship. Unless you are completely new to any of these concepts none of this will be game changing. But the book is easy to read. The ideas are organized well. And the pictures are very charming.

[Sarah Miles · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked up this book because it was recommended by one of my favorite podcasters and sounded like a topic I identified with. While I do think it is well written and has a place for those who need it, this book was honestly not for a person like me, who is content in my singleness and doesn't feel the need to divorce myself (ha) from the pursuit of a romantic partner. The me 10 years ago might have benefited more from this book, as would anyone who's struggling with being single.

I did enjoy how easy it was to read, the illustrations, and the solid life advice and well-researched information (as one would expect from the creator of the NPR podcast Life Kit, which I also listen to). And I did get some good takeaways for managing my emotions, focusing on my values, and striving to maintain fulfilling and intentional relationships.

[Sam G · Rating 4 out of 5]

Solid book about how to be with yourself regardless of your relationship status. This book was not pitying of single people or framing self-care as a means to obtain partnered love. It is about fulfillment within yourself and most of all learning how to deal with your emotions. There are many illustrations in this book which I found helpful to break up the information.

I found this book practical and not preachy in its advice. It's easy to use as a reference. My favourite chapter was the last one about how to maintain friendships and community. This shifted the focus from inward to outward and how to show up for people in your life who need you. It was beautiful.

Anyone would benefit from reading this book who wants to improve the longest relationship you will ever have - with yourself.

[Maddie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I kind of wanted this to go a bit deeper, but I enjoyed it! It's definitely more of a validating read than an educating one for me, but I can attest to some of the practices promoted in the book such as with adopting a random project (they even use watching an entire movie franchise as an example! My favorite type of project!) and learning how to comfortably spend time with yourself. I also enjoyed that it doesn't shy away from the tougher emotions of being single because yeah for the most part it can be enjoyable, but it can also be really tough sometimes and it actually offers coping mechanisms for handling those emotions. It's also well put together with colorful illustrations and an easy to follow structure. It's a book I'd hand to anyone who tells me "you'll find someone someday" when I'm in no rush to do so since I do enjoy being single. Let them learn lol.

[Raymond Lewis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Single or coupled, I think this is a must read book for everyone. It reminds us to examine what we think we know and think critically about the world. It helps peer through the haze that culture has created, seeing that what we think of as "the way things are" might not actually be that old, that the world being the way it is actually only happened relatively recently, and that it is just as likely to change again. As the Tao te Ching says "the Way that can be named is not the eternal Way" and the "traditions" we know are not the Way the world has always been or has to be now or in the future. In the end we should focus less on romantic ideals and more on creating a diverse and compassionate community in our lives.

[Tracey Compton · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my new book gift idea and top recommendation for my single friends! I loved this book. It had history, mental health theories, and concepts and great ideas and suggestions wrapped up in activities at the end of each chapter. I really enjoyed how Keane normalizes doing single activities and the suggestions for building community and figuring out what you REALLY want or are searching for when you say you miss being a part of a couple. These are just slight shifts in perspective that can enhance anyone's life.

I'm so thankful for this book. It was exactly what I needed at the right time.

[Lindsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️’s

I don’t think this book said or gave anything I didn’t already know, but it did put/take what I already knew and was thinking/feeling into tangible words/actions to actually make that knowledge useful, which I found to be very helpful.

I liked that the author even acknowledged that people could be at different points of their self-relationship journey when reading this, and some may not need or be beyond what she’s writing about. While I might not have gotten a lot out of it, I do see how someone who is early-on in the journey of building a good relationship with themselves could get a lot of it.

[Chey]

"Love is not one-size-fits-all, and the overwhelming pressure to find one specific -- often heterosexual and monogamous -- type of love hurts everyone. It cuts us off from finding nourishing connections of all different kinds in our lives.”

What a refreshing self-help book! Meghan Keane deconstructs several cultural norms about singleness and the necessity of marriage and then provides a helpful guide to managing emotions and building community.

Several lines stood out to me like, "the idea of romantic love monopolizes acts devoid of all sexuality." and "Happiness is not a destination and neither is partnership."