Halfway There: A Graphic Memoir of Self-Discovery

by Christine Mari

A poignant graphic memoir from rising star Christine Mari, following her college year abroad in Japan, as she struggles to reconcile both sides of her mixed-race identity. Christine has always felt she is just Half American, half Japanese. As a biracial Japanese American who was born in Tokyo but raised in the US, she knows all too well what it’s like to be a part of two different worlds but never feeling as though you belong to either. Now on the brink of adulthood, Christine decides it’s time to return to the place she once called home. So she sets forth on a year abroad in Tokyo, believing that this is where she truly belongs. After years of feeling like an outsider, now she will finally be complete.  Except…Tokyo isn’t the answer she thought it would be. Instead of fitting in, Christine finds herself a fish out of water, as being half of two cultures isolates her in ways she'd never imagined. All she can do is try to stay afloat for the rest of the year—still figuring out who she is, what she wants in life, and whether she’ll ever truly be more than halfway there.    Author-illustrator Christine Mari explores what it means to lose and find yourself in this moving narrative of belonging and home. 

Genres: Graphic Novels, Memoir, Mental Health, Nonfiction, Comics, Japan, Biography

304 pages, Paperback

First published October 15, 2024

About the author

Christine Mari is a comic artist based in Los Angeles, California. When she was fifteen years old, she wrote her first book, Diary of a Tokyo Teen, an illustrated travelogue detailing one summer in Japan. Her artistic journey continued in her online comics, which deal with topics ranging from her multiracial identity to navigating adulthood and the joys and challenges of daily existence. She loves rainy days and grocery store birthday cake. This is her first graphic novel. Christine invites you to visit her at christinemari.com or follow her Instagram @christinemaricomics.

Reviews

[Noi (in & out) · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Young people always seem so afraid of time.
As you get older, you'll make peace with it."

It was beautiful.



TW:
- Depression
- Self-harm
- almost trying to unalive oneself?
------------------
I just keep coming across this cover, I'm taking it as a sign to try my first (semi?)memoir/biography

[ida (semi-ia) ☾ · Rating 5 out of 5]

˚⊱❀⊰˚ ִֶָ

this was so so good omg. one of the best graphic novels i’ve read in a while. i also love graphic memoirs, and it had been a while since i’ve read one, so it was fun to read this!

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐

[Rachel (TheShadesofOrange) · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 Stars
I appreciated the conversation of the biracial experience along with the Tokyo setting. However I personally didn't fully connect to the author's feelings of being lost and confused in her 20s but I know it's a common experience.

[Liralen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Growing up in the US, Mari always felt other—half Japanese and half American, born in one country but raised in another, part of her wondered whether she'd have fit in better if her family had stayed in Japan. And as a young adult, she had a chance to try out a different life for herself: she moved to Japan to study abroad, to buff up her Japanese, and to see if Tokyo was a place—the place—she could be the person she dreamed of being.

But as so often happens: wherever you go, there you are. Some things about Tokyo were just what Mari remembered or envisioned or loved—and other things were just like being in the US again but the reverse, and she didn't develop magical fluency in Japanese overnight, and, well, being a young adult is hard.

I picked this up partly because I have no resistance, natural or acquired, to moving-abroad books (whether expat or moving-back-to-homeland or otherwise), and partly because of the cover (read: I am shallow)—how pretty is that cover? The art inside is simpler, but still pretty, done largely in shades of grey and purple. I may eventually look up Mari's earlier travelogue about time spent in Tokyo as a teenager, but it looks like her art style has matured a lot since then, and for the time being I'm pretty happy keeping the art from Halfway There foremost in my memory.

Not always a happy memoir, but one that will resonate with teens and young adults who are struggling to find their way and their place in a world that doesn't always feel welcoming.

Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.

[Rebekah · Rating 5 out of 5]

so, is this actually a secret biography of my own life?!?! i will admit that i cried multiple times. RTC

[CW ✨]

Poignant, and heart-wrenching. A graphic novel memoir that explores depression, belonging (especially not belonging), and feeling lost in young adulthood. I cried so much reading this. I cannot recommend this enough.

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fantastic debut graphic novel/memoir about a young woman's struggle with depression and identity having grown up as half white/American and half Japanese, never feeling like she truly belonged anywhere. She spends a year living in Japan, struggles with depression, learns to admit that she needs help and ends on a hopeful note. The mental health and depression representation in this book is outstanding and I truly felt for Christine and her struggles. I loved the gorgeous cover and highly recommend this book to fans of I want to die but I want to eat Tteobokki. A definite standout book for me this year!!

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do not recommend reading this graphic novel in public because I started crying while reading this on the train and it was kinda embarrassing. But 10/10 would cry again.

While I initially picked this book up because the story seemed relevant to my experiences, I think this book will hit home even for folks who might not necessarily be biracial or Japanese, as the depiction of mental illness in this book is really beautifully and heartwrenchingly done. Who knew that the experience of rotting in your dorm room, lonely and sad, is so universal?

I was also really happy that the author included a scene of herself speaking with someone with two Japanese parents but grew up abroad - in my personal experience, the very Japanese (& lets be real, close-minded) expectation of being able to speak a language, to act a certain way, and to know all the cultural cues just because you look a certain way or having a certain name can be extremely painful and alienating.

Oh, but the scene where her grandma tells her that she doesn't care if the author's Japanese isn't perfect??? Is she open to adopting more granddaughters???

[SH · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have never felt so seen both in my biracial identity and my experience in depression. This book made me realize how intertwined the two were. As someone who adored her grandmother, the author’s relationship with her grandmother made my heart swell. Cannot wait for this to come out so I can hold the masterpiece in my hands! So beautiful & masterfully crafted.

[Alix · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amazing writing amazing story I absolutely loved this so much

[Lauren Stoolfire · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a nice little YA graphic memoir. If you're a fan of the genre, you might want to check it out. I'll have to look for more from this author.

[Abby]

This was a fantastic YA graphic memoir by a Japanese-American girl struggling to find herself. Great graphic depiction of what spiraling into depression feels like and such a hopeful message. I can see how impactful this book could be a for teenagers 🥹 and it’s so important for me to read widely so I can make clutch book suggestions for kids and teens as well as adults

[emma · Rating 5 out of 5]

THANK YOU to Christine Mari for writing and illustrating HALFWAY THERE! As a fellow biracial/half-Asian person, I felt incredibly seen by this memoir. Mari is beautifully and bravely candid in sharing her struggles with identity and depression. I had chills the whole time. This is a must read!

Thank you to Hachette for the ARC!

[Hudson · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book had me SOBBING. i like how it was centered around self identity and mental health without being too graphic. while im not half-asian, i related to a lot of what christine wrote about and the complicated feelings that deal with feeling like you dont belong or that you arent enough

my heart goes out to the author and the illustrations are also so so good

[Bogi Takács]

This is a graphic novel memoir about the author's experience being a mixed-race Japanese American woman as a student in Japan. A lot of it is focused on depression, which wasn't clear for me going in - I seem to have this recurrent issue with graphic novel memoirs that the marketing just doesn't mention mental illness and/or neurodivergence and/or disability even when it is a big chunk of the narrative (and I would be very much interested in it!).

I really really liked that the book talked about having health issues as an international student, and seeking care for them, almost no one writes about this ever! I have had people tell me international students don't even need healthcare! So the awareness-raising is very welcome and I will recommend people this book specifically along this axis, too. I do not have depression, but I had a major health issue related to one of my disabilities while an international student and it was a really rough time. I am really glad she managed to get care and it seemed helpful :)

I liked the art - everyone was so expressive! -, the use of color, the way the family interactions were depicted, the discussion around how the author's depression also related to identity and specifically being a mixed race Japanese person. (I am mixed-ethnicity, but my experiences are extremely different and not comparable, in any case I am always glad to read about other people's experiences about not being considered satisfactorily either.) Also, of course it is a memoir, so the author can't really pick and choose how the other characters act, but I was glad that her relatives in Japan were supportive.

Because there are no content warnings (maybe I missed them), I can say that the book includes detailed depictions of depression, one very brief and non-graphic mention of self-harm (I thought this was done with a lot of care not to ignore it but not to make it very triggering, of course YMMV), and a lot of descriptions of isolation and self-hatred that the protagonist grapples with in the course of the narrative.

____
Source of the book: Impulse borrow from the Lawrence Public Library, new YA comics shelf (but the book is more NA than YA)


Find me elsewhere: My Patreon | My Bluesky account

[R.C. · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 rounded up. By the end, this book is pretty beautiful. Looking at it through the lens of its seasonal structure, summer through winter felt, to me, like a bit of a slog. I think that Mari really captures what it can be like for some folks with depression (can confirm), but that's a tricky line to walk when you want a reader to experience it along with you. By the time winter rolled around, the pages had all blurred together into a continuous, repetitive engagement with her isolation, her despair, and how she doesn't fit in anywhere. As I said--this all felt very true. But from my perspective as a reader it added up quickly, to the point where I felt like the book was one long journal entry that needed re-drafting. But spring always comes, and with this one enters Baba, Mari's grandmother, to save the day! There were several scenes between these two that put a lump in my throat, and as Baba cares for and accompanies her granddaughter through the season, the book blooms along with its protagonist. It was this steady supply of external interactions, serving to pivot the narrative away from Mari's dark inner thoughts, that definitely improved the experience for me. A good work overall, and one that I could only imagine was difficult to bring into being. Looking forward to whatever the author does next.

[Tiffany · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️ 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴: 4

📖 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗜𝗳 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲:

➛ Graphic Novel
➛ Coming of Age
➛ Biracial Identity
➛ Mental Health
➛ Cultural Alienation

💭 𝗧𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀:

Short but powerful. This novel captures what it feels like to be lost in your 20s and unsure of who you are while trying to meet everyone’s expectations. It explores the struggle of forming an identity as someone who is half white and half Japanese while also battling with depression. As someone who is half white and half Korean, I connected with that deeply. I am 35 and still struggle with loneliness and questions about purpose. The artwork was absolutely stunning.

💬 𝗙𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗤𝘂𝗼𝘁𝗲𝘀:

"Because how can someone ever feel whole if they've always been told they're only half of something?"

"I always thought that being a grown up meant that you were ok with being alone. But lately being alone makes me feel small. Like a little kid."

"The problem with the word half is that it means there is always a divide. It makes me feel as if I am missing pieces of myself. Like I am permanently incomplete."

[Antonia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Är på "ett humör" just nu. Extremt lättrörd, nostalgisk, snyftig och kanske bara allmänt gråtig. Vet inte varför, men saker som tjongar till mig i hjärtat finner mig just nu. Så även denna bok.

Halfway there handlar om Christine som har en japansk mamma och en amerikansk pappa. När hon är fem flyttar familjen till Amerika från Japan. Hon är rädd för att inte passa in men blir snabbt populär, tänker hon. Men ju äldre hon blir desto mer ser hon exotifieringen hon utsätts för. Hon glömmer japanska språket, hon känner sig amerikansk. Men i andras ögon är hon aldrig det helt, hon är halv. Christine bestämmer sig för att plugga japanska i Tokyo när hon är 20 för att komma tillbaka till sina rötter och kanske äntligen förstå vem hon är. Men är det så enkelt?

Mina omständigheter är verkligen inte samma som Christines men det är svårt att inte känna igen sig när man själv är "halv". Alla frågor om ens namn när man är liten. Känslan av att man är fel, konstig. Chocken när man kommer till "det andra landet" när man blir äldre, troendes att man kommer förstå allt. Men även där är man konstig. Skulden och skammen mot släkten när man inte kan språket. Ja, igenkänningen är stor.

En fin bok om att försöka finna sig själv.

[Mariya · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was incredibly easy to relate to, even as a white woman. The book speaks a lot to belonging and finding your way, and how hard that can be when you are your own worst enemy. I smiled and I cried, a sweet story with doses of harsh reality. I’m really happy I read it 😊🥹

[Frida · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25 ⭐️

[Sarah G · Rating 5 out of 5]

loved it. maybe the plot line felt cliche or maybe it only feels cliche to another half asian woman. just a great book… more memoirs should be graphic novels

[Sunny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read trigger warnings. Then soak up the honest thoughts of someone who is struggling with identity affirmation and finding her place in an often cruel society (world).

[Rheathebookwormdreamergirl · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was incredible and I loved it from start to finish. I think it was so well done, and it was so clever, and smart. I think as someone who is mixed race myself I found this to be so relatable. I think that this is such a poignant, and thought provoking and I am so glad I read it.

[Jenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amazing graphic novel memoir debut!

Resonated in terms of identity, while luckily I didn't have to struggle with depression as Christine did. I enjoyed how she blended her reality alongside conversations with her past selves as well as her "other self," which might have made things confusing at times but also intriguing. A much heavier book than I had anticipated, with a few scenes that felt repetitive, but I loved how her familial relationships were depicted and how realistic it felt.

I do wish we had the gorgeous colors from the cover rather than greyscale with hints of color, but I suppose thematically it worked out.

[Sophy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Halfway there is a story about a girl struggling to find herself in the world as she struggles with self identity and depression. In a society that is super judgmental, she is constantly being told she's American or Not Japanese because she can't speak the language. She even feels like an outsider in her own family when she goes back to Japan. This is a book that covers some topics that might make some people uncomfortable, though is an excellent book to understand someone else's story that might be similar to someone else also feeling these kinds of feelings in their own life.

[Karyl · Rating 5 out of 5]

This popped up in my social media feed, and I’m always a sucker for a good graphic memoir. But this one is a lot deeper than I was expecting. I think instead of YA, I would categorize this under “New Adult,” a genre one of my local bookstores has that deals with the issues of folks who are legally an adult but still finding their place in the world.

While I am not a biracial person, I can identify a little bit with how Mari never felt that she fit in anywhere. My father’s family is Jewish, but we weren’t raised in the religion or the culture. However, I was bullied quite a bit for being Jewish, and I never really fit in anywhere as a kid or a teenager. It wasn’t until I became quite a bit older that I realized that it really doesn’t matter whether I fit in, and that it was fine just making friends who appreciate me for who I am.

My heart went out to Mari when she went through a heavy depressive episode. It’s common for young people to feel all the weight of the world, but it hit Mari especially hard. This part of the memoir may be difficult for people who have themselves struggled with depression and self-harm. I am so very glad that Mari had her grandparents nearby in Japan so that she had a loving home to retreat to.

Even in the darkest hours, dawn comes again. And even after the darkest of winters, spring always arrives and the cherry trees bloom once more.

[Eileen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very moving memoir about one year in Tokyo

This a beautifully illustrated and moving story about one year in Christine Mari’s life as she was on the cusp of adulthood. While I am not Hapa, I am a Taiwanese American who grew up in Chicago, where my siblings and I were the only Asian’s in our neighborhood and school. Eventually, we ended up attending a Taiwanese church where I realized my Taiwanese was all but forgotten. There were many thoughts that the author shared that I could relate to, especially that feeling of never quite fitting in wherever you are. But I think that’s probably one of those things that probably more people think than we realize. I think that’s was one of the things that this author’s therapist and grandmother helped her realize, as well as some of her friends.

I started this late one night, but couldn’t put it down. I’m happy to see that the author found herself some help as she struggled with her depression and her loss of identity.

This was a fantastic debut graphic memoir/novel and I look forward to seeing future work by this author.

[Angela · Rating 4 out of 5]

read this as “homework” in 40 minutes standing in the kinokuniya bookstore in shinjuku bc i’m going to an event for this book in three days (and i could not find a free online version) - it had very cute illustrations and was a nice book on identity and the general biracial struggles, and is very relevant to the Japanese-American experience for sure. i obviously can’t speak on biracial identity but i definitely connected w the themes of being between two cultures and feeling at a general crossroads in young adulthood (especially a few years ago). because truly it should be so normalized that at 20 you feel like both an adult in some ways but are definitely still a kid in the grand scheme of things - like you’re still so young, it just doesn’t feel that way when you’re actually there. not know what you’re doing with your life shouldn’t feel so damning at 20 but it does. i’m glad mari depicts it so authentically and voices some of the inner dialogue and general turmoil that she experienced. i’m sad it got so dark but i’m glad she got help and reached out to loved ones for help. she draws about therapy and the mental health struggle which is so so real and it’s really nice to see all that representation throughout the book. i wonder how this book event will go !!

[Cassie Rebugio · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Ever since I was a kid, people had been telling me who I was or who I wasn’t, as if my identity were something for them to decide.” How can a book perfectly explain everything I felt growing up as someone who is mixed? I have never felt like I have belonged in one world or another - too white to be Filipina, too “exotic” to be white. Even today, it sits with me. “After all these years, I still carry the same insecurity I did when I was a child. It’s like a wound that has never healed.” Anyone who is mixed will be able to relate to the author’s memoir. Sometimes it’s knowing that others have experienced the same things that make us feel less alone in the world. Anyone struggling with fitting in, dealing with depression, and a loss of identity will resonate with the author’s experiences. It’s the first time I can say that a graphic novel has brought me to tears. Raw and honest, Christine Mari’s memoir is the book I’ve been needing to read without knowing it.

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was not what I was expecting. I thought it was going to be an exploration of the authors identity as American and Japanese...and that's present but it's more of a backdrop for the main focus of the book which is the authors experience with depression. And that I think is very relatable. Growing up...becoming and adult...I really think the struggle portrayed here is a very common one and I appreciate the authors candor in sharing her story.

I also enjoyed the artwork. Overall it's not my favorite art style but there are some really compelling and powerful images here that I loved.

Not a new favorite but it was definitely worth the read.