All the Truth I Can Stand

by Mason Stokes

A gay teenager in 1990s Wyoming must contend with the violent loss of a loved one in this historical YA novel that draws from the tragic murder of Matthew Shepard in 1998.

Juniper, Wyoming high school student Ash is still reeling from his mother’s death and ostracization by his friends when his father signs him up to join the crew for a college production of Oklahoma! Ash is slowly drawn out of his shell by student reporter Jenna and the star of the show, Shane, with whom a romance slowly blooms. Shane is talented, sensitive, and magnetic, but also deeply troubled. When Shane is found brutally beaten and unconscious, Jenna and Ash are shattered. And after Shane dies,  they watch his death become a rallying point for gay rights advocates, and they wonder what the full story is and if they truly knew Shane at all. 

All The Truth I Can Stand is a heartbreaking exploration of grief and legacy, and details the good and the bad that can come to pass when an imperfect person is made into a symbol.

Genres: Young Adult, LGBT, Historical Fiction, Historical, Queer, Grief, Romance

256 pages, Hardcover

Published November 5, 2024

About the author

Mason Stokes is a professor of English at Skidmore College in Saratoga Springs, New York, where he teaches African American literature and queer fiction. In addition to his scholarly writing, Stokes is the author of the adult novel SAVING JULIAN and the personal essay “Namesake,” which was selected by Jonathan Franzen for inclusion in the 2016 edition of BEST AMERICAN ESSAYS.

His young-adult debut, ALL THE TRUTH I CAN STAND, will be available 11/5/24.

Reviews

[Amina · Rating 3 out of 5]

✰ 3.25 stars ✰

“I’m just wondering if there’s a line somewhere. This much truth is fine. But too much is a problem. Is there a point where you’d say, ‘No thanks, I have all the truth I can stand’?”

The fact that I was left in as much doubt as Ash was at the end of All the Truth I Can Stand means that Mason Stokes succeeded in having these complicated feelings over the circumstances of which ​Ash found himself ​ to feel true. As hard as sometimes the truth is to stomach, the more important question that should be taken into account is the reality of what the victim had to face - does it really matter?

Shane's death strongly reminded me of something that I had once read online; the Author's Note confirmed that I was correct in assuming ​that it was inspired by a real-life tragedy. It ​serves as that painful re​minder of what life was like in the late 90s, how the treatment towards those who were gay was on such a widespread scale of resentment and hatred that led to such vile and cruel ​inhumane acts. 😥 But, the nature of which Ash found himself involved with Shane was one that left him with conflicted emotions that translated really well off page. In a small town in Wyoming, where seventeen-year-old senior Ash never thought he would find someone like him - someone as bright and bold as college student nineteen-year-old Shane, who charmed audiences with his captivating performance on stage. 🌟🌟

​“His voice was beautiful, but so vulnerable—fragile, like the dream of a better place. I felt the disconnect between the words, which are so full of hope, and the feeling, which is that hope will break your heart.”

​ For a few short weeks Ash​ was able to fill the void that was left after his mother died - a slight reprieve of happiness and acceptance​ with someone like Shane - someone who made him experience that first love, which we treasure the memory of more than anything. ​To feel safe and feel like that they finally belong to someone. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 ' All I knew was how desperate I was for his touch.​' The one that makes us ignore the troubles and secrets that they hide in the darkness, simply to cherish the few moments they can steal away together. Shane never completely gave away all his trust to him, but Ash clung on, in the hopes that maybe he could be the one to save him from the troubles and woes that plagued - that maybe his love for Shane would be enough to pull him out of the shadows and into the light.​ 😞

​The story moves at a very patient pace - languid, but still aware of what it is slowly peeling the layers off of. Ash's honest desire to be closer to Shane was depicted with an aching want. It is that frustrated yearning to always gravitate in their orbit, while also knowing how very much they distance themselves from you - in the hopes of not letting you get hurt when they'll leave. It was written very candidly that fully captured all the doubts and insecurities that a gay teenager faced during the late 90s, especially in a small closeted town such as theirs. 'Maybe I wanted to rescue Shane. Maybe I wanted to be him. Maybe I ​ wanted to let him inside me in a way that changed me completely—that ​turned me inside out.​' 😢 It was a painful sharp contrast to how his own feelings with his father and older brother were taking a tumultuous turn as he got more involved in Shane - both warning that he was one not to be associated with - be it for being gay, or hinting towards something else - something more harmful that catches the eye of their mutual friend, college journalist Jenna. 💔💔

“There were so many things I could have said. How lucky I was to have met him. How he was the one rescuing me, not the other way around.”

If I were to describe Stokes' debut YA novel, I would say it is one that touches upon first love and the heartbreak of truths that come when it is no longer there. A heartbreak not of a breakup, but for not being able to be there for the one who you wished could have been saved from an end that was so undeserving and unfair for him. At times, the writing leaned towards more of a factual one, rather than an empathetic one - one that fully was able to resonate with me. 😕 The conflict of emotions that Ash felt as he discovered more evidence about Shane's unsettling past revealed a side of him that perhaps he would have been better off not knowing. ​'People think grief is an actual emotion, but in fact, it’s really just confusion. The mind and the body don’t know what to think, what to do.​' But, it still doesn't change the memories of who he was to him - the few moments of happiness where he made Ash feel comfortable about being himself - someone who saw a little bit in him that he could be worth caring about. It is that age-old question - how much do you really want to know about someone, and if you did, would it change the way you feel about them? 🥺

Shane's death sparks an outcry of support and solidarity for those who were victims of hate crimes, simply for being gay - a frenzy of media coverage and awareness that leaves Ash wondering - where were these voices when Shane needed it the most.​ 'What a brave move, all these kids standing up for peace and tolerance, two things that nobody​ could disagree with.​' 😟 But, at the same time, it is these harmful and shocking truths that Jenna starts to uncover that has him questioning that with the shady and troubled background Shane did have - is he worthy of being revered, when much of his messy past could be cause for scorn and aversion? It is that conflict that the author challenges A​sh and the readers of whether it is necessary to air out one's dirty laundry or if it is better to honor the memory of him as a symbol? Or that 'we should be able to die as we live, fully human.'​ 😔

​“I wonder how things might have been different if I had seen him more clearly, if I hadn’t been so lost in some perfect version of him.”

Jenna served as the face of reason - the combative and fierce voice that demanded comeuppance and retribution - be it for her own personal justice or to protect the futures of those who may be caught on that dark path. As much as I disliked her insistence, I never thought she was entirely wrong, because of how her intentions did come from the right place. And afterwards, I felt as hollow and hopeless as Ash did at the end - torn over whether being true to the matter at hand is more important than preserving his memory for the sake of those who could do some good from it. 😣 It does make for a harder read to contend yourself with - knowing that this is how it will play out. For it asks us the burning question of how much of the truth can we stand, before it becomes too much for us to bear. Ash understands that despite the complicated craziness that a mess of his life could have been, the author reminds us of a central truth: you shouldn’t have to be a saint to be worthy of sympathy, respect, and love.​' But, to see Ash slowly become more sure of where he stands as a person - what are the values that he cares to respect and honor - is what stood out for me. That to him - Shane will always be that beautiful, beautiful boy who was taken too soon from this world. ​🫂

​*Thank you to Edelweiss for a DRC in exchange for an honest review.

[Ben · Rating 5 out of 5]

All The Truth I Can Stand is a speculative retelling of the Matthew Shepard murder. We follow Ash, who has joined his local theatre community where he meets Shane and Jenna. Shane is an outgoing bright young man who doesn't shy away from his sexuality and makes an impact on everyone around him, good or bad. But when tragedy strikes, the webs start to unravel and both Ash and Jenna start to learn about the darkness surrounding Shane's life.

I was familiar with Matthew Shepard's story before going into this book, but it was still easy to get attached to Shane and heartbreaking when he is killed. I really appreciate that the author didn't shy away from any of the dark topics weaved into Shane's life; that living a complicated and messy life was a big part of the story and how it invokes a lot of confusion to the people left in the aftermath.

I enjoyed this book, as much as you can say about something so hard to read. The author includes a lot of notes at the end which I appreciated and they shouldn't be skimmed over by other readers. Whether you've heard of Matthew Shepard or not, this is an important book that tells the story from another (albeit fictionalized) view point and will leave readers with a lot of thoughts upon completion.

[Miglė | Perskaičiau ir aprašiau · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was ready to have my heart broken by this book, yet somehow not a single tear fell from my eyes. And I do consider myself a rather sensitive reader.

The description promised a story inspired by the murder of M. Shepard in 1998. I read about it quite a while ago and Matthew's death was absolutely tragic, however(probably like lots of other people), I didn't know about the other side of that young man who was turned into a symbol for gay rights. The dark & dirty one that some people tried to hide. It was eye-opening and really showed that no human is only ever good or bad. Everyone is imperfect, even though some people are made into symbols, martyrs. I do feel like this book truly painted a great picture of that.

Now for parts that seemed lacking to me. First of all, the portrayal of grief. Maybe my expectations were too hight, but I was hoping to see a deep exploration of grief. In reality, I felt like those parts were rushed, action picked up the pace right after a short period of grieving and we had to move on. I'm not saying I wanted 5 chapters of Ash's feelings on a loss, heartbreak, but simply slightly deeper dive into emotions would have been great.

Another thing that felt a bit off to me was Ash and Shane's relationship. Its fast development and tragic end. While YA books tend to have insta-love trope, this book felt more serious. The short relationship that we were shown felt, well, too short to really feel the strenght of Ash's feelings.

The writing was great. Overall, I enjoyed the pacing, the choice of words, dialogs in the book, they felt real, natural. The final chapter, visiting of the fence, was really powerful. Kind of felt like I sat there with Ash and Jenna.

Something that stuck with me was Ash and his dad's relationship. The growth, the support and mutual understanding. However, I do wish it was developed a bit more, as well as the relationship between Ash and his brother. I feel like there is a huge potential there.

All the truth I can stand is a honest look into imperfect humans, young love, loss of a loved one & 1990s Wyoming. And simply a reminder to be kind, love others and support each other.

A separate mention for the cover - I absolutely adore it. You see it in another light after reading the book. Stunning.

Thank you NetGalley for the ARC.

[☁︎ ☾ ｡⋆ morgan ⋆｡☽ ☁︎]

oh, i already know that this is going to break me

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book right out tells you that the story is based on the murder of Matthew Shepard, back in 1998, and how this helped bring hate crimes out in the open. But, there is more to his story, and more to this story. In a note at the end of the book the author explains how they did a lot of research on this, and while some of the revelations in the story seem far fetched, they are actually more true than not.

Because, along with gay bashing, the rural areas of the country are awash with meth. It is the drug that kills more youth than just about anything else. And what the author found when really looking into the Matthew Shepard story is that it wasn’t just gay bashing, but the drug trade, and how everyone involved was knee deep in it. By taking the truth and fictionalizing it, we do not lose what we gained from Matthew’s death, but we do learn how the drug trade ruins lives.

I expected to be upset by reading this, but didn’t realize how upset. This is not a book to be taken lightly as a tear jerker, but rather to be outraged how drugs ruin so many lives. Thus the name of the book.

Thanks to Netgalley for making this book available for an honest review. This book is coming out the 5th of November 2024.

[reid ♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

between a 3.5 and a 4
pretty thought provoking especially considering how close the story followed to matthew shepards own and the author doesn’t shy away from difficult topics
it’s definitely interesting considering most people only associate shepards murder with his sexuality but this novel offers a less black and white version of the story from shane’s experiences and makes the reader
empathize more especially, knowing his history with meth and sa and being an abuser himself
i liked that the author included things like the fact on how many victims become abusers themselves and gets the readers to understand the situation more clearly without justifying the actions
i think the relationships and character building fell a bit flat for me but the message itself was done well

[Ed · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thanks first to all involved, including NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for an ARC of this novel. This opinion is entirely my own and it is a difficult one as this novel leaves me with many mixed feelings.

First, as all likely know, this is a fictionalized telling of ONE VERSION of Matthew Shepard's story. I highlight the idea of it being one version as it is clearly tied to the version of Matthew's story told in the book The Book of Matt. That book, by Stephen Jimenez, purports to be a journalistic analysis of Shepard's murder. Contrary to what the author suggests in the notes, however, the Book of Matt is one theory that is not consensus or fully accepted. The book has received a lot of criticism from many sources, including the coroner in Wyoming and various parties with direct knowledge of events. That doesn't mean it's completely wrong, but this novel essentially takes the Jimenez book, changes the names, adds a couple characters and repeats the narratives about Matthew Shepard that Jimenez has created, but that are otherwise disputed. I have concerns about this perspective being offered in this way, particularly to YA audiences who may not understand the nuance of what happened to Matthew or what it meant for so many people when it happened.

Ultimately, though, the issue for me is what purpose this book serves. Why is it necessary? We have the Jimenez book already. Dozens of articles analyzing the Shepard murder from all directions (including many from anti-gay bigots who revere the Jimenez theory as tarnishing hate crimes legislation and the like). It's not clear what adding Ash or Jenna to the story tells us beyond what reading various nonfiction novels tell us. To the extent any answer to that question is provided, it comes to me in the author's note in the end, not in the novel itself. Because of that, I can't rate the novel highly. Despite being reasonably well written, it doesn't seem to me to serve the purpose it intends, but instead fictionalizes and tells the negative view of the Shepard story and Matthew himself, without serving some bigger purpose. 2.49 stars for the writing, but can't round it up for the reasons noted above.

[John Andre · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don’t know that I’ve ever struggled with reviewing a book so much. The writing is engaging, the characters are compelling, and the plot is fascinating - it is undoubtedly a well-written novel.

Still, while reading this, I couldn’t help but feel so disgusted. One of the main characters, Shane, is inspired by Matthew Shepard, a young man from Wyoming who was brutally murdered in the late 90s, presumably because he was gay (although there are some inconsistencies in that story). Everything from Shane’s short stature, to the exact conditions of his death, to the tragic events of his adolescence are taken directly from Shepard’s life. I wasn’t alive when Shepard was killed, but I will admit I had a little bit of a hyperfixation on Shepard when I was younger: I read every article about his life and death, and I would play the details over and over in my head to the point that I had recurring nightmares about it.

My takeaway from that obsession is as follows: Shepard lived and died in so much pain, and so the best thing we can do for him at this point is let him rest in peace. It took 25 years for his parents to find a safe place to lay his ashes to rest - the dust has only just begun to settle from Shepard’s death. More than anything, I think he and his family deserve peace and quiet at this point. As a result, I found this book to be in incredibly poor taste. I felt physically ill as I read it. I understand the argument the author makes for honestly portraying Shepard’s shortcomings, but I just can’t get behind it. I want nothing for him but peace and happiness at last, and I think this book poses a significant obstacle to that.

[YSBR · Rating 4 out of 5]

This YA novel inspired by the life and death of Matthew Shepard is an incredible read that brings Shepard fully to life. In this fictionalized account, the reader sees Shane (Matthew’s stand in) through the eyes of a (made-up) high school boyfriend Ash. Shane’s story is treated with care and honesty throughout the book.

Stokes successfully conveys the fear and secrecy of being queer in the 1990s throughout the book. Ash has a coded conversation with his science teacher at one point in which his teacher suggests he leave Wyoming for college: “Guys like us? We’re maybe not such a good fit for small towns.” The prologue leaves no question about where the story is going in the end and foreshadowing is used effectively to convey impending doom, but the first half of the book is nevertheless a sweet love story. Ash experiences an intense crush on Shane right away (“whenever I thought of Shane, it was like millions of subatomic particles were swirling around inside me…”) and subsequently has a sweet but secretive six week relationship and an intense breakup. Meanwhile, Shane is going through more than Ash knows; their mutual friend Jenna explains to Ash that he is “carrying around a lot of damage.” When Shane goes missing and is found tied to a fence and brutally beaten, readers will palpably feel the fear and panic from the text. 

All the Truth I Can Stand is a tough read recommended for mature readers. The author doesn’t shy away from the complex nature of Shepard’s story including his drug use, drug trafficking, and HIV status. The impact of Shepard’s death on his friends and family, as well as the world, is explored extensively. The plot is driving and the dialogue feels natural. All characters read as white.

Includes an extensive author’s note (9 pages!) that delves into the story of Matthew Shepard, the fictionalized elements of the novel, the connection between methamphetamine and HIV, LGBTQ+ representation in the 1990s, the homophobic role of the Westboro Baptist church, and the legacy of Matthew Shepard. I found the author’s note essential reading to fully understand the novel. Link to complete review: https://ysbookreviews.wordpress.com/2...

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Stars

This book is really hard to read, and that's most definitely intentional. It's heavy. It's dark. And it's rooted in not-so-distant queer history. This definitely isn't a book for younger audiences, but it is also a very important book to be putting out now, for a YA audience that might not remember where we've come from. We're not really all that far from the 90s, after all. This book might be fiction, but it takes inspiration from a very real case. And that should be frightening.

Anyway, there's a whole lot more to dig into here, and all that will be included in my full review, publishing at Gateway Reviews on October 25, 2024. Swing by if you get the chance.

Note: I was provided with an ARC by the publisher through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions here are my own.

[Brooke · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book absolutely broke my heart. It’s a gripping speculative fiction story based around Matthew Shepherd, a gay university student who was beaten and tortured to death in Wyoming in 1998.
So knowing how this story will turn out nevertheless made my little optimist heart yearn for Ash’s & Shane’s love story to end up happy. You do get the lovey dovey bits, but then reality comes sweeping in: grief, fractured families, sexual assault, drug use, and homophobia. There are plenty of triggers in this book, so more cautious readers should take care.
I found the author’s notes at the end quite helpful, because he explains why he wrote this story and why he chose to potray “Shane” (Matthew) as he did; many elements were based on real life events, something I didn’t know until now. Matthew’s and Shane’s stories, gritty as they are, need to be told, and we need to read them.

[Sunny · Rating 3 out of 5]

I started reading this book and was very upset by all the parallels to Matthew Shepard. As someone who lived through that time, it’s still raw. This is not an easy book to read and not an enjoyable one in my opinion. For me, fiction based on true events is not one of my favorite subjects and I had thought this was going to be more loosely based on Matthew’s story. For those who did not grow up with his story, it might be a more enjoyable read b/c they can distance themselves for it. For those us who lived through the time, we still fight back tears when we remember how he was found in the freezing cold, tied to that that fence post and they had taken his shoes, like the absolute monsters they were.

I was given this book for free in return for my honest opinion.

[Cynthia · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. This is a novel based of the murder of Matthew Shepard in 1998 in WY. It's a novel, but based in truth. The author basically just changed names of players & places, & stayed true to the events. The 'Author's Note' at the end does a great job of explaining the fact vs fiction of the book, & also expounds on some important facets involved, like the high rate of drug/meth use at that time in WY, the part the Westboro Baptist Church played, Matthew Shepard's legacy, & other important considerations. As often is....there might've been more to the story than many knew.... I remember when this really happened. I learned a lot in reading this, & I always appreciate that in a read!
I won this book in a giveaway from Astra Books for Young Readers.

[Kristen M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book. This is a realistic fiction title mirroring the story of Matthew Shephard. It is about a fictional gay college kid in Wyoming in the late 1990s who is struggling with all the things Matthew Shephard did.

It was a real page turner and is told from the perspective of Ash, a high school student who helps out with theater department productions on the University of Wyoming campus and falls hard for Shane - the character modeled after Matthew Shephard.

More information about the details of Matthew Shephard's life is revealed than I knew before. This is an important book.

[Lillie · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you know it, you know it. Ouch.

The only actual criticism I can give of this book is that it feels like it serves as a sort of narrative retelling of Matthew Shepard. Shane’s death, the circumstances around it, and even the actual method of it all is exactly like Shepard’s. Maybe it’s just a “me” thing, but that feels odd, in a way — it kind of unnerves me that an author would take the actual crime and plaster a different name on it for the plot of the book. I’m sure that wasn’t Mason Stoke’s intent as someone who was also affected by Shepard’s murder, but it kind of rubbed me the wrong way. 🤷🏻

[Charlotte Ballantoni]

I got an unedited copy (thanks Prof Stokes!) so will not be giving stars because I don’t know the extent of changes made and also have had the great fortune of having Professor Stokes multiple times. I will say that this book mirrors Professor Stokes’ teaching style. He leans into the uncomfortable in the classroom with grace and care and I see a similar approach in this novel — I can actually almost hear the novel in his voice. I’m also very unaware of what the current realm of YA looks like and if this fits into YA. However, a well done and thorough book written by one of the smartest people I’ve had the pleasure to know.

[Kaytlyn Van · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heavy read, a good exploration of the moral questions that come with a death like Shane’s. Wanting Shane to be seen and be noticed as a victim because of this horrible crime but also recognizing that Shane was not a truly good person was a big topic of the book as a whole. The disagreement between Ash and Jenna over whether or not to publish the whole true story was very well written. I appreciated the POV from Ash as it showed what Shane looked like to those around him. The authors note was a good piece of education as well because I was not as educated on Matthew Shepard prior to this book. One of the few historical fiction pieces i’ve appreciated.

[Skye · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book made me go through several stages of grief. At first, I was infuriated at the author, how irresponsible it is to rewrite a real story this tragic and this important to the queer rights movement. But then I realized that it was me who didn't know the whole story and that Matthew Shepperd's life was way more complex than we made it out to be.

Characters in the book and the author himself question the morals of releasing and popularizing Matthew's whole story. But the focus on his drug use and trade is quite important and unfortunately still as relevant as ever with the resurgence of cristal meth in the queer community.

[nico · Rating 4 out of 5]

not funny. cried.

the book does feel a little clunky at times only because of how much background on the characters the book wants to explore but honestly it didn’t take too much away from my enjoyment of the book

there’s something about books about small towns that really get me and this was no exception. the story of matthew shepard is so upsetting and tragic and i think this book does a great job of exploring every aspect of it while also respecting and honoring him. overall such a good book

[Nicholle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't find the main character to be believable. Other parts of the story were thought-provoking and complex, but I ultimately agree with other reviewers that wonder why this fictional rewrite of "The Book of Matt" was necessary.
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2025 Extreme Book Nerd Challenge - A book that has an event that happened in your lifetime
PCLS Monopoly - A genre you have never read before or rarely read (speculative historical fiction)

[Sheila · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have mixed feelings about this book. I do like that Stokes is showing a more complicated picture, pushing beyond seeing a person as a symbol. I like the question of "What are the consequences?" when we turn people into symbols. At the same time, what's the line between honoring the dead and sharing additional unsavory details about their lives? I'm still mulling this book over.

[Dr. Julie Wasmund Hoffman · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first half of the book had me riveted. The characters, the dialogue. the emotions—I was all in. Unfortunately, the second half was more news-reporter style that filled in the gaps of the story, but not in a storytelling manner. I wanted to feel the grief, pain, and healing with the characters I had grown attached to, but it wasn't there. I want more Shane, Ash, and Jenna.

[A.K. Adler · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to love it; it has important themes and is a worthy publication. But I think to do justice to a topic like this, a book needs to be extremely well-written. This is a valiant attempt, and I applaud it, but it didn't quite reach the mark. I felt educated but not viscerally affected.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a one sitting read. Usually teenage angst drives me batty, but this was lovely until the real horror started. And even that was well done. Stokes chose exactly the right characters to tell this story and I am moved.

[Tina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This might end up getting bumped up to five stars. I have been thinking about it since I turned the last page and found this book (and the notes at the end) to show a different side to the Matthew Shepard murder.

[Rachel Gao · Rating 4 out of 5]

a truly raw and heartbreaking iteration of matthew shephard’s murder. provoking in its complex themes exploring homophobia, death, addiction, the nuanced reality of loving someone, and the lies that lead to martyrdom.

i still think about this book a lot

[Kristine Anderson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did not enjoy the storytelling here and I don't think this will appeal to modern teenagers reading this independently. It feels like it was written 20 years ago.

[Melissapalmer404 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Decent speculative historical fiction, based on the murder of Matthew Shepard. Author is local which was cool.

[Fiona R · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF

[Jody · Rating 4 out of 5]

I remember when Matthew Shepard died. I was 18. I wrote a paper about him and hate crimes while I was in college.